Against all odds
by ophelia-syndrome
Summary: They are about as different as they could possibly be and yet they found together, but apart from the usual problems relationships bring with them, fate doesn't seem to work in their favour.
1. Introduction

Hello everyone. This is the sequel to 'C_oincidental return',_ I hope you enjoy it. Anyway – since English is my second language I already want to apologize for the errors there'll definitely be…

I really hope you like this story; please feel free to message me with any questions, comments or criticism.

I'll try my best to update weekly but I can't promise anything – I suffer from writer's block quite often…

So then, thanks for reading.

_**Against all odds**_

… _She really didn't know what she was doing here… _

_After what had happened, she shouldn't have come here, it would probably cost her the little progress she had made lately, but they had needed a medi__c-nin and so she had volunteered to accompany them or rather persuaded them to let her go and although she was reluctant to admit it, she really was worried, which was still pretty much of an understatement…_

"_They should be close now, can you see them Neji?" Shino asked the man who was running next to him in his usual calm voice, as if all the running didn't strain him at all._

"…" _The Hyuga scanned the tree-filled area in front of them with his Byakugan, before he nodded his assent, but left it at that._

"_Are they alright?" Naruto, who was leading their little group had turned his head around and looked with an impatient expression at the Hyuga._

"_Seems so…" The brown-haired man nodded with a fierce look on his face and caused a startled expression to appear on Naruto's face._

"_They are?" – That was definitely unexpected, considering that they were missing since nearly two weeks now, but actually it was good news… however the look on Neji's face made him doubt that somehow and he couldn't help but to feel rather uneasy._

"_Oh c'mon – does that really surprise you?" Suigetsu, who looked as if he badly needed a break, grinned at the blonde, before he moaned: "Didn't you say they were close?"_

"_Hm…" The Hyuga nodded grimly, before he slowed down, as they came upon a small clearing, which was bathed in the pale, but still strong and warm light of the early morning sun. It was such a peaceful scene… The clearance was nearly a perfect circle, entirely surrounded by a dense wall of vibrant green trees, which seemed to glow from within, as the sun was nearly on level with them. The entire ground was covered with lush grass, speckled with buttercups, chamomiles and various kinds of wild flowers, which were studded with tiny pearls of morning dew. Like a secret garden, created by no one else but Mother Nature herself._

_And there they were, standing right in the middle of it, as if they aimed at being seen… It were just the two of them, Sasuke and Karin – no sign of the other two or anyone else – but at least they looked entirely unharmed and yet that didn't soothe them a bit… Not with the way they were standing there, as if an invisible wall separated them from their group and they didn't seem in the least inclined to overcome that illusionary barrier… Something was terribly wrong; they didn't need to be saved… at this point there was no more doubt about it…_

_It was hard to look at them. Karin's eyes held so much scorn in them and then the boastful, arrogant grin on her full lips and the way she __drew closer to Sasuke and wrapped her arms around him in such an obvious manner – as if he belonged to her now and she wanted the whole world to know it… Never averting her mocking red eyes from Sayuri, who looked as if she had seen a ghost, she whispered something in his ear with a lewd expression on her face and her grin only grew wider and became even more malicious, as she realized that her action had the intended effect on the girl in front of her._

_Looking at Sasuke however was even harder to bear… How he just stood there with his blank emotionless face and the hard, empty eyes. He didn't react to Karin's embrace or to her whispering in any kind, he just kept staring at them and it made something snap in Sayuri's chest to see how terribly cold his eyes had become…_

_She wrapped her arms around her stomach, not knowing where else to put them and feeling as if she needed something to keep herself from crumbling apart. __She still didn't understand it… understand why they had failed like this and as she saw them there, the two of them together, so clearly separated from the rest of them, she couldn't help but to wonder about how it could have come to all this…_

… … …

**1. Introduction**

It was a nice and sunny day in the Village Hidden in the Leaves. After the uncommonly cold and harsh winter, spring had made an early arrival and the streets were filled with lots of people, who were eager to enjoy the first rays of warm sunshine or who were otherwise busy… After the attack, only about six weeks ago, Konoha was still one huge building site, so there were more than enough possibilities to occupy yourself… Things weren't as bad as they looked, though… all these huge scaffolds conveyed a wrong impression. Actually all the destroyed buildings had been restored or put up again – they were all inhabitable in any case and that's what was most important – so it was only about the final touch now.

It was only of advantage, that the village was not only home to some of the best ninja there were, but also to numerous skilled craftsmen – but still if it hadn't been for the aid of Suna-Gakure, they would have never managed to handle things this quickly. After all the entire south-western part and a lot of the centre of Konoha had been destroyed for the most part and the rest had suffered to a considerable extent as well. Therefore they were all too grateful for the aid of their allied nation, which was not least a redemption for not having helped, when the attack had taken place – even though everyone in Konoha knew perfectly well that they couldn't have done anything, since it had been a surprise attack, so they didn't hold any grudges.

In spite of the high number of losses and not to forget the even higher number of wounded people, it hadn't taken long before the Hokage had decided to take on new missions again – especially high-ranked ones… On the one hand they badly needed the money, considering all the expenses the construction work brought with it, but they also needed to show that they had regained their old strength again – otherwise they'd probably find themselves in the centre of the next assault, long before they were ready for it – so it was the best preventive measure they could think of.

That was another thing – the Kazekage had sent a lot of Suna-nins, even though that meant neglecting their own defences, to Konoha, as conspicuously as possible, to show that in case someone meant to fight the Leaf Village he'd also have to fight the Sand Village and apparently his plan had worked out – otherwise things wouldn't have gone this well… They really owed Gaara a lot, maybe even the well-being of the entire village, but they weren't ready yet to return the favour, which didn't mean they wouldn't do so… forbearance is no acquittance – they'd get back to them as soon as they could.

Apart from the missions and the public works, the hospital was still one of the busiest places in the whole village. Not only as an after-effect of the attacks, but also as a result of working accidents, which became unsurprisingly more and more frequent lately…

Today was one of the days, when the casualty department of Konoha's hospital was jam-packed with people, who had nails sticking in various body parts, or who hadn't thought it necessary to wear helmets, while walking underneath some insecure scaffolds… Besides those however the first ninja had arrived from their missions and some of them were in far greater need of medical treatment, than those clumsy do-it-yourselfers…

The A&E-department of Konoha's hospital was rather big, and yet there was hardly any room to accommodate all the injured people and everything seemed just entirely confusing and chaotic. Not only because there were doctors and nurses running around just about everywhere, but also because of the numerous curtained beds, the various machines surrounding them and not to forget the general noise level, which would put some concerts to shame and made it really hard to concentrate…

Amidst all this mayhem was Sayuri; due to the urgent requirement of any kind of medical personal, they had reintroduced fixed shifts to make sure they were never short in staff and that the various medic-nins would get enough rest, as some of them didn't seem to know something called finishing time, so it had happened quite frequently that some of them had to be hospitalized themselves after collapsing from exhaustion…

She had been here for just about three hours and yet she already felt completely knackered… it wasn't even physical exhaustion, those tiny little ailments she had to heal were hardly worth mentioning – it was more the running from one bed to the next, listening to all the wailing and at times even entire life stories instead of the anamnesis she had actually asked for, or in most cases not…

She had only just finished treating a man who had broken his leg after falling off a scaffold – this had been the only case up to now where the medical history of the patient had actually mattered; even though it had made her doubt the man's psychological condition somehow – in her opinion a scaffold wasn't really the place for a narcoleptic, but maybe she was just a bit narrow-minded …

With a slight feeling of relief, she left the man to one of the nurses and passed on to the next bed. After taking a second to breathe through and trying to block out all the noise, which was pretty hard admittedly, Sayuri groped for the patient-chart, while she pulled back the curtain with the other hand and stepped forward. She flipped through the file to see what ailment she had to treat this time, before she pulled the white curtain shut again and finally looked up.

"Oh…" Her grey-blue eyes widened in surprise and the corners of her mouth rose up a little, as she recognized the person in front of her, even though he had his back turned to her.

"You're back" She regarded the raven-haired man in front of her, who was leaning against the side of the bed, rather than sitting on it, with a beaming smile. He'd been gone on a mission for a bit more than a week, which wasn't really long though, but still she was really glad to see him again.

He nodded in assent and turned his head farther around to look at the girl behind him, whose eyes were resting on the really painful looking wound on his shoulder.

"What happened?" She enquired, with a clearly worried tone in her voice, as she walked to the other side of the bed, to get a better look at Sasuke's injury.

"We had to get some hostages out of a cave when it collapsed." He replied without wasting any more words than necessary and kept a close watch on the violet-haired girl, who was now leaning over his shoulder; her hands emitting a radiant green light, which sent a pleasant, warm feeling through his entire arm. He closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, enjoying the feeling of the healing chakra, while his head slowly moved closer to Sayuri's and he opened his dark eyes again as she raised her voice: "What about the others? Are they hurt, too?"

"Not gravely…" He nodded his head and Sayuri could have sworn he was smirking, but at second sight his face was as blank as usually again, so there was no way for her to find out.

The second the green light vanished from underneath her hands, the Uchiha wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her closer. A quiet laugh escaped Sayuri's lips, before they were sealed with a kiss and even though this clearly wasn't the place for this, she couldn't bring herself to offer any resistance. This was the first time this day that she was actually glad about the background noise and the utter chaos and not only because she didn't really perceive any of that any longer anyway…

Once the lack of oxygen became too much to bear, they finally broke the kiss, but Sasuke still held the young woman close to him. He rested his chin on her smooth hair, while Sayuri leaned her head against his hard chest and just enjoyed the closeness and his pleasant scent, she could even perceive through his shirt, until she eventually remembered that she was actually supposed to work here and pulled away from the Uchiha-heir with a heavy sigh. He didn't let go of her though, but placed another kiss on her lips, before he leaned his forehead against hers and whispered: "You're coming over later?"

"Once my shift is over…" She murmured in a soft voice, all the time keeping her eyes closed, until Sasuke finally let his hands drop from her waist and released her. He got up from the bed and pulled his sleeve over his shoulder again, before he muttered a brief goodbye and walked off.

Sighing wearily, she followed his departure with her eyes, until the white curtain obstructed her view. It took her some seconds to recollect herself again and walk on to the next patient. Once again, she found herself in front of a well-known person, whose voice was even clearly audible over the din of the people surrounding them, so she didn't even need to look into the patient chart to know who it was.

"Hey Naruto…" She grinned at the blonde, whose head was covered with numerous bumps and bruises and his right eye was completely swollen, so there was hardly anything visible of it, but a narrow slit that at least indicated its position - actually he must have been in quite some pain, so compassion was called for, however he just looked so funny that Sayuri could barely bite back a huge grin and it's not like he missed that, at least he looked rather sourly and offended…

"Did you get beaten up by Sakura again?" The violet-haired girl chuckled, even though she couldn't help but to feel a little guilty about it…

"Haha… lame one… can we go back to serious now or is there something else you have to get rid of?" The Uzumaki asked wryly and yet clearly irritated, with his lips pressed into a thin line – he must have been the butt of quite a lot of jokes already…

"Not spontaneously… no…" She shook her head and finally regained control of her mimic again and managed to force back the inappropriate grin. "So how did you manage to end up like that?"

"Tze… just so that you know, I saved like _uncountable_ people from their certain deaths…" He made a sweeping movement with his arm, but then grimaced, as this action apparently hurt him.

"Did you…?" Sayuri smiled and started treating the bumps on his head and her words seemed to be exactly what he had wanted to hear, as they triggered him to begin retelling his heroic story, managing to use at least ten times as many words as his team-mate had needed before, to explain the exact same thing.

"We've been sent to the Land of Forests to free a princess – and a really pretty, no stunningly beautiful one – and some other politicians, too, from a group of ninja dropouts, I don't know… they weren't really strong – it took us hardly two hours to track them down, but once we had gotten into the cave, where they'd been hiding the hostages, they caused it to collapse and we still had to get them out of there. I tried to send my bunshins to them, but they vanished, when the stones hit them… It was quite a piece of work, I can tell you, but I used my Rasengan to bust some new holes into the cave walls and then we could get them out through these…" He vividly retold the story, while his face slowly but surely looked human again.

"And where is the part when you acted as a human umbrella?" The medic-nin grinned, but luckily the Uzumaki couldn't see that, because her sleeve was hanging in front of his eyes at the moment.

"Haha… thought you were done…" The blonde pouted and frowned at the girl next to him.

"Sorry, but that's really it now… … I think…" Sayuri bit on her lower lip and proceeded with her treatment, while Naruto still looked rather unhappy, but raised his head as the curtain surrounding his bed was pulled open.

"Ask him where he got that black eye from…" Now Sayuri looked up as well and noticed the brightly grinning Nara, who stepped to the end of the bed and nodded briefly in salutation.

Naruto tensed up noticeably and shot a killer look at Shikamaru, his eyes literally screaming the word 'traitor!'. "How did you know I was here?"

"Well, it's pretty hard not to hear you; you're really loud you know." The Nara crossed his arms in front of his chest and raised an eyebrow expectantly; causing a cold shiver to run down Naruto's spine, as he already heard Sayuri raise her voice and he couldn't help but to hunch his shoulders up defensively.

"Where did you get that black eye from, Naruto-kun?" The violet-haired girl enquired in a bitter-sweet voice and turned to the said body part, which wasn't really black though, but looked like someone had drawn a rainbow around the bump, behind which Naruto's eye was hidden.

"Hmm…" The blonde Genin grimaced and mumbled something unintelligible, but Shikamaru wouldn't let him get away with that.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that - could you repeat that again?" He sneered mockingly at the Uzumaki whose head had taken on a bright red colour, which wasn't visible though, as his head was entirely green from Sayuri's healing chakra, so he didn't so much look like a tomato but rather like an alien.

"… an old woman hit me with her purse because she thought I wanted to grab her or something…" The blonde pressed out through closed lips and lowered his head in humiliation, while Sayuri and Shikamaru grinned at each other, before the medic-nin, exclaimed in a feigned scandalized voice: "You grabbed an old woman?"

"Of course not!" He shouted indignantly and crossed his arms in front of his chest, not understanding how his friends could seriously believe he would do something like that. "She tripped and I wanted to catch her – I guess you can imagine the rest… and then old people always grouse about young people having no manners… so much to thankfulness …"

They carried on chatting and kidding around for quite some time; Naruto was such a mess that it took Sayuri quite long to heal him, despite the increased self-healing power he owed to the Kyuubi…

Somewhat around eight o'clock she was finally done with everything; actually her shift had ended an hour earlier, but there had still been so much to do that she couldn't possibly have left on time – the shift system really worked…

It was an indescribably good feeling to be outside again and breathe in the fresh and clean evening air and not the dazing stench of the disinfectants… Most of the building sites were deserted already; it was too dark to balance across a scaffold or apply an even coat of paint to a house wall – even though she wouldn't put it past some of the people she's had the pleasure to meet today, to at least try it…

The hospital wasn't too far away from the Uchiha district, which was good because otherwise she would have been in danger of starving on the way… She didn't believe that Sasuke had anything to eat ready though… the only thing she has ever seen him make was rice with rice… He didn't really care about what he was eating as long as it was eatable… At least that's what he said… She didn't really believe him, though; she was sure that he was either too lazy or that he just couldn't even cook if his life was at stake… at the beginning he had still made his speciality meal quite often (actually just for himself though) however lately, as they were seeing each other more often and almost on a regular basis, which meant at least three or four times a week, he hadn't bothered to do so any longer and had waited for her to make something, which was at least a bit better and more varied than simple sauce-less rice. She didn't really mind doing this though… she'd have to cook either way, so if she did so for one person or two really didn't matter and this way she got some company, so that was okay… It was a mystery to her anyway, how he had managed to live through years on his own without suffering from malnutrition… but then the same applied to Naruto as well, who didn't eat anything but his ramen and still he was alive and perfectly healthy…

As she walked through the streets, many different and in most cases pleasant smells wafted into her nostrils and didn't really help her to forget that her stomach was entirely empty – she hadn't gotten the chance to take a lunch break, so she had made it through the day with nothing but a sparse breakfast, which had mainly consisted of coffee, apples, cookies and some more coffee…

Not really keen to do the housewife thing, Sayuri went into one of the smaller and less busy restaurants she came across and ordered some food for the two of them, which fortunately didn't take long to be prepared, so hardly five minutes later she was outside again, hardly able to resist the delicious smell coming from out of the white plastic bag with the two small paper boxes inside.

Once she stood in front of the wall, surrounding the entire Uchiha district, she was overcome by a queasy feeling, just like every time she came here… She really hoped that she wouldn't come across any of his old team-mates, who happened to be his neighbours now. She really couldn't think of any plausible excuse for what she was doing here at this late time of day, with a bag full of food in her hands… Usually they were rarely here at this hour… She knew that Juugo was in the hospital right now – to help out though and not to get help for his own problem… there was still too much going on at the moment, so Tsunade could hardly spare the time, but she had promised him to start their project as soon as the situation had calmed down again… The Hokage had repeatedly warned him that she didn't know if there was anything she could do for him and even though Juugo had always nodded and assured her that he was aware of that, it was still obvious that he had pinned all his hopes on the Sannin and her skills… He was really doing a lot for the village – ranging from carrying out missions, to helping out on the building sites or in the hospital - it seemed as if he already meant to show his gratitude for the help he was about to receive, or simply for the fact that they were giving him a chance, despite knowing that he was dangerous… They never let him go anywhere alone, though, but he was okay with that, in fact he wouldn't have wanted it any different – hurting someone was the very last thing he wanted to do, so he gladly accepted the surveillance, which had up to now been redundant, though, but that didn't have to mean anything…

Karin was on a mission at the moment, so she wasn't in any danger of crossing her path… The red-head was getting a lot of missions; her special skills were just all too useful… She complained quite often about being exploited, but then she always added something like: _"I don't know how they got along before I was here…"_ in a really dramatic voice and then it was clear that she was actually quite proud of it… She talked really much about how she was surrounded by idiots and how she had to do everything by herself – so nothing new really; that was just the way she was; anything to put herself into the centre of attention…

With Suigetsu it was a little different… he showed that he enjoyed being here quite a lot, but he always emphasized that he was in no way connected to the village and could leave any time he liked… he always made a point of having a certain reason for staying and that he would leave once he saw no further use in being here… Except for doing a couple of missions and a lot of training, he had made it his business to test every single one of Konoha's numerous restaurants and give marks according to offer, taste and ambience… Up to now they had all scored ten points out of ten – he really wasn't too picky, when it came to stuffing himself…

And here again she was thinking about food, but luckily she was almost there and she hadn't come across a single person yet, which wasn't too surprising, as two of the four people who lived here were definitely somewhere else…

Up to now, they had been successful in hiding their relationship – if you could call it like that… She kind of did think of him as a boyfriend and thought she was in something called a relationship, but she didn't really have any experience with that and didn't know how one was supposed to feel like, so she really didn't know… but then 'relationship' was such a broad term – it actually fitted to just about every kind of arrangement, so maybe this was the right word after all – just not the most suitable and descriptive one… But then her vocabulary didn't feature any more fitting words and she had no idea if there even was one… and they had never really spoken about what there was between them anyway, just that they weren't ready yet to tell anyone, or didn't want anyone to know in general… and somehow that made her think that Sasuke didn't really know himself – same as her, but if that should be reassuring or not was questionable… either way she had at once agreed to that, but mainly because she just couldn't imagine telling anyone – that would be really awkward… and admittedly all this hiding was somehow exciting, but it nevertheless made her feel like she was an affair or something at times… Just the fact that they acted like strangers whenever they were among other people, was slightly unsettling at times… especially when Sakura was around – she felt horrible for not telling Sakura… it wasn't like she had talked much to her lately, but this was definitely one of the things she felt she had to tell her. Most of the times she saw her, they were keeping everything down to mere small talk – or rather a simple greeting and a goodbye – that was about everything. At times, especially when she had just heard some new rumour from Ino and just couldn't keep it to herself, the Haruno actually talked to her…. However at some point she would realize what she was doing and then turn into a stranger again… It was really a pity that things had developed like that and maybe she was wrong but she had the impression that Sakura didn't even want things to be like this herself… Those initially rare occasions when she had talked to her in spite of herself became ever more frequent lately and she seemed to become a little less reserved… And even though Sayuri was kind of glad about that, it also made her feel all the more guilty and she thought, she really deserved that cold treatment after all… Well, she'd tell her soon enough and after that she'd probably wish the time back when she had still been in the dark about all this – a really lame excuse for her cowardice…

Once she stood in front of the imposing mansion, she knocked at the door, after looking up and down the street again, just to make sure there really was no one around… After a couple of seconds, the door was shoved open by the Uchiha-heir, who stepped to the side then, to let her enter. He kept his eyes fixed on the violet-haired girl as she took off her shoes, before he saw the plastic bag in her hand and a light frown appeared on his forehead.

"You bought food?" He asked, sounding almost puzzled, as if it was something completely extraordinary…

"Well I'm starving and I thought you were too, so yes… I did…" She answered and rose up on tiptoe to kiss him.

He still eyed the bag with a weird look on his face, the frown remaining unaltered, before he muttered in his usual husky voice: "Tell me how much it was and I'll pay you back."

"Oh nevermind… it's like my good deed for the day – something to support Konoha's economy…" She grinned, but the Uchiha still looked kind of unhappy, so she just walked past him and entered the kitchen, before he could carry on with arguing about such trifles…

She had already sat down at the table and placed the white paper boxes, containing the food, on its surface, when Sasuke entered as well and sat down on the other side of the low wooden table, which still looked a little battered and was full of scratches, but it was at least the right way around now… Before he had even opened his box, Sayuri was half-way done with hers already and finally felt good and reinvigorated enough to slow down with the rest of it.

"You've been training with Suigetsu again?" Sayuri asked, as she noticed that the Uchiha was wearing his usual dark blue training attire with the tiny red and white fan on its back – the symbol of his clan.

"No. He's on a mission, so I could finally train alone…" Sasuke sighed, before he turned his attention back to his food.

"Really? You know how long he'll be gone?"

"Why?" The dark-haired man looked up again and shot a sceptical look at the girl in front of him.

"Oh – because of the festival… I thought he might like to go there…" She answered, before she placed her hands on the floor and leaned back a little, after having finished her dinner.

"What festival?" Sasuke frowned and his question caused Sayuri to do so as well.

"The one on the weekend after next… Well, actually there are three events… the cherry blossom festival, Sakura's birthday and Tsunade's annual as Hokage… so it'll be really big…" The violet-haired girl explained, not knowing how he could have missed that, because it was what just about everyone was talking about at the moment and then there were also all the flyers and posters…

"You'll go there?" She asked and shot a hopeful look at her opposite.

"Not if I can avoid it…" He grunted and closed his eyes briefly, but Sayuri wouldn't give up yet.

"Oh, come on…It'll be fun…" She tried to convince him, but without much success. "You are the representative of the Uchiha-clan, right? – so you really should drop in at something as important as the Hokage's annual…"

"Tze…" He merely hissed and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"And it would be good for the others… they could get in touch with more people then…"

"Then they should go there…"

"Phew…" Sayuri sighed in resignation. Actually she didn't even know why she wanted him to be there. It's not like they'd go there together or at least hang out together the entire evening or something. The festival would span over at least a quarter of Konoha, so it wasn't even a given that she would see him at all… and even if she did, she couldn't behave with him the way she did now…

At the beginning, she had been worried that they just wouldn't work out, simply because their characters kind of excluded one another – they were different in the wrong things and equal in the wrong things as well… None of them was really talkative, which is where Sayuri had spotted the first problem… she had feared that they just wouldn't find anything to talk about – fortunately she had been wrong about that… she wouldn't say he talked much, that would definitely be an overstatement, but at least he used words to answer instead of just some sounds – at least most of the time… and she no longer felt awkward when she talked to him; at the beginning she had been afraid that she'd annoy him, because his reactions had always been rather brusque and disinterested… and even though she knew that this was just the way he was, her lack in self-confidence had convinced her that she was simply boring him… however he had changed a little lately, really not much, but he was trying at least and that's what it came down to. Even though it was a bit weird at times, almost funny to see how he had to remind himself of giving full length answers or even asking questions himself… it was as if he had to renew his entire socializing skills and he really wasn't too good at it, but he only just started so this wasn't the time to label him a hopeless case yet…Just one more reason for him to go to the festival, too…

"Well, once Suigetsu and Karin get to know about it, they'll drag you with them anyway, so I'll see you there…" Sayuri grinned cunningly and the annoyed expression that invaded Sasuke's face after her words, told her that he knew she was right…

…

…


	2. Concentrated cluelessness

**2.**** Concentrated cluelessness**

It was night and the sky had this really weird colour, more like purple than blue as you should think… It actually looked nice, kind of impressive and mysterious, simply because of its unusualness, but it was oppressive all the same and somehow sinister… There was a soft melody in the air, seemingly coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. It was marked by these low doomsday-like tones traversed by a quick, but faint sequence of high, bell-like tones and the interaction of these two components conveyed an impression of suspense, as if it would build up to some kind of climax or already the catastrophe…

She kept walking through the dark streets and the initially soft and barely audible melody slowly built up to a crescendo and she couldn't help but to feel nervous about this and searched for a reason for this change… It was like wandering through a labyrinth – neither knowing where one was, nor where one was supposed to go to… So she just kept on straying through the dark alleys, her steps becoming faster and faster as she was overcome by a sudden sense of paranoia. She was all alone, there was no sound but that of her hollow steps and the rising music and yet she somehow felt as if the shadows surrounding her were moving, even though there was nothing that could have stirred this motion in them…

Her head turned from side to side and she walked in a run, but couldn't see anything but the high looming walls on either side of her. The music became louder and faster and was booming through the alley, while her racing heartbeat added the right bass to it. She was sure that she was being followed, the shadows seemed to close in on her and a mixture of paranoia and claustrophobia took over her senses and took her breath away and now she was running for real… She didn't know what there was behind her but she didn't feel like checking, but kept her eyes fixed on what was in front of her, until she reached a blind alley. It felt as if her heart would explode with excitement or dread, as she found herself trapped. It took her a second look to see that there was a door in the wall, even though she had been sure that it hadn't been there a second before… It looked more like a richly ornamented black iron gate than a simple door, but in spite of its pompous appearance, it didn't really look inviting, but neither did the prospect of turning back and facing whatever there was behind her. Her thoughts were racing and she knew that if she couldn't decide fast enough, the decision would be taken from her… A pounding noise appeared; as if someone had put her head inside a drum and was beating it heavily.

Desperately she buried her hands in her hair and squeezed her eyes tightly shut…

… when she opened them again they were focussed on her patched ceiling.

A confused frown appeared on her face, before she laid a hand over her eyes and started messaging her temples, when she perceived that pounding sound again and needed a couple of seconds to figure out what it was… Her heart was still beating at a furious pace and eventually she realized that someone was at her door and the sound of the knocking must have invaded her dream and finally succeeded in waking her up… and no second too early… she didn't know what would have come next, but she was sure that it was better this way…

Still feeling more asleep than awake, Sayuri wrapped her blanket around herself and shuffled to the door, which seemed to vibrate with all the knocks it had to take, where she stroked her dog in passing, who was already standing with wagging tail in front of the wooden door, which she then pulled open.

"Finally – are you deaf or something?!" Naruto appeared in the doorway and walked inside without waiting for an invitation. Slightly caught off guard by Naruto's entrance, which had hit her like some kind of wave of concentrated energy and vigour, Sayuri stood there in the doorway and stared with a startled expression at the gravel walk in front of her, as if she hadn't quite noticed that her visitor had already entered, before she closed the door again and stared at Naruto with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you ready?" He stood in the middle of the sparsely furnished room and looked with an impatient expression at the blanket, inside which his team-mate was hidden.

"Ready for what?" She frowned, feeling a bit uneasy about the look on the blonde's face.

"Well, for training, of course!" He exclaimed as if it was the most natural thing to do at eight o'clock in the morning.

"Haha… good one…" Sayuri grimaced and dropped onto her bed again, vanishing entirely under the huge blanket pile.

"That wasn't a joke – I want to try something new and I need some help for it, so get going!" The blonde incited her in a volume and pitch that gave her the shivers.

"But why me? Look… I'm really sorry for yesterday; I didn't mean it this way…" She mumbled from underneath her blanket-fortress.

"Pfft… this isn't some kind of payback – I need your help so come on…" He whined and pulled at her blanket, finally succeeding in at least getting Sayuri to sit up, but she still didn't really look keen on following his request…

"But why me…?" She whined, even though her thin voice hardly made it through the thick layer of covers surrounding her.

"Well, just because! So get up!" The Uzumaki crossed his arms in front of his chest and rolled his eyes, even though Sayuri couldn't really see that.

"Really no… I got really crappy sleep last night and I have to work later so I –"

"No."

"No? What do you mean '_no'_?" Sayuri's head peeped out of the cocoon of her thick, red and white blanket and she gazed at her team-mate with a dumbfounded look in her drowsy, half-shut eyes.

"Well, no." The Uzumaki nodded decisively. "It's the least you can do after hurting my feelings so much; that deeply affected me you know… I don't know if I'll ever be the same from now on…" Naruto tried it by arousing her pity and he seemed to be successful – after a few seconds of meditative silence, Sayuri tossed the blanket to the side and mumbled something like _"Give me five minutes"_, before she vanished in the small bathroom and left the Uzumaki with a wide grin and a feeling of triumph.

…

…

Half an hour later, they were already on their way to Naruto's favourite training ground, which happened to be close by. Sayuri had convinced him to at least wait till after breakfast, before taking on his rushed plan and fortunately he had agreed, so now they were walking with filled stomachs and in a more or less enthusiastic mood to the great field, where Naruto had used to train his nature-manipulation techniques…

The sun shone right at the large mountain in the western part of Konoha, with all the Hokage faces carved into them and bathed them in a soft golden glow, even though they were for the most part obscured by tarps and scaffolds and a chilly but refreshing breeze whirled numerous tiny pink and white cherry petals through the air and across their path.

"So what is it you need my help with?" Sayuri asked once they had reached the middle of this large meadow, while she picked some sweet-scented cherry blossoms out of her dark hair and let her grey-blue eyes roam over the various pale pink trees surrounding them, while a soft smile flitted over her face.

"Oh well, you know I've been training with that pervy sage lately and he told me that I relied too much on my eyes when fighting, so I should _expand my horizon_ or something and try using my other senses as well… " Naruto explained and already started stretching his shoulders and arms.

"So why again do you need me of all people to help you?" Sayuri eyed him with a frown on her face, but the Uzumaki didn't interrupt his warm-up and just shot a surreptitious glance at her.

"Well – why not? I've been on a mission for nearly a whole week, so we haven't seen each other lately…" The blonde scratched the back of his head and then added: "And you're pretty good at it, right? So I figured you might give me some tips…"

"I don't know… it's just something I can do, it's not like I learned it…" Sayuri explained, already in an apologizing tone, but the Uzumaki just shrugged her off and pulled his forehead protector over his eyes, before he went into a fighting stance and nodded at the girl in front of him. "Attack me… and don't go easy on me, okay?"

The violet-haired girl still observed him with a frown on her face, but not for long, as the blonde Genin suddenly stormed forwards and attacked her himself. Caught off guard by this far too fast movement at this early time of day, Sayuri nearly got hit by her team-mate, if she hadn't let herself fall to the ground in the nick of time and landed rather roughly on the hard soil, before she rolled to the side, as her fairly noisy fall had given the Uzumaki her exact position and so he was after her again just a second later.

She could already see his clenched fist right in front of her, so she leaped upwards and as his punch didn't hit anything but air, he lost his balance and stumbled forwards, before he crashed onto his chin, as Sayuri used the back of his head as a springboard for her landing.

"Hey!" Naruto groused and spat out a bunch of grass, he must have inadvertently bitten into. Pulling back his forehead protector, he turned around and kept his hands clutched in front of his mouth and Sayuri could see a tiny runlet of blood drip down his fingers.

"I'm sorry – you told me not to go easy on you!" Sayuri clutched a hand in front of her mouth as well, but rather in shock, before she rushed to her team-mate, trying to find out what had happened.

"I bit on my tongue…" Naruto explained in a barely understandable voice, before he lowered his hand to let the present medic-nin have a look at it.

After rolling her eyes, because she had really been worried about him, Sayuri started healing his wound, even though she wasn't so sure about how to do it at first and was just about to propose postponing this whole training-thing, when Naruto had already pulled his leaf-headband over his eyes again and prepared himself to fight.

"Phew…" Sayuri sighed before she went into a fighting stance as well and this time didn't wait for the Uzumaki to take her by surprise again…

They trained for hardly two hours, when Naruto, who looked fairly battered already and not to forget frustrated, as things hadn't quite worked out the way he had wanted them to, suggested to take a break and Sayuri who was probably only a little less exhausted than her team-mate, agreed at once. They just dropped down on the grass, letting the early sunbeams warm them, while they both waited for their breathing and pulse to slow down again…

Sayuri crossed her arms underneath her head and watched the lazily moving clouds - at this moment really understanding what Shikamaru liked about that so much… It was really a calming sight… In fact the numerous cotton-wool clouds looked so cosy and inviting that Sayuri would have really liked to dive into them, but then she would have had to get up and that was completely out of the question right now…

"That was really bad, right?" Naruto eventually snapped her out of her reverie, so she slightly tilted her head to the side to look at him. He had his eyes fixed on the sky as well and there was an uncannily pensive expression on his face…

"Well, it was your first try, but considering how quickly you improve you'll have it mastered in no time…" Sayuri tried to encourag him, but he just pressed his lips into a thin line, in what was probably supposed to be a smile but never quite made it that far…

"You have a present for Sakura already?" His deep blue eyes were finally focussed on her and she didn't miss the alert expression on his face.

"No, not really… You?" She watched him closely, but he just shook his head lightly, before he again scrutinized her with a piercing stare.

"Is everything okay between the two of you…?" He uttered the words very carefully, as if he was afraid that he would drop them and they'd break.

"… What makes you think it wasn't…?" Sayuri enquired after a couple of seconds, sounding at least as careful with her choice of words as the Uzumaki had and she no longer looked directly into his eyes, but at the leaf symbol on his forehead-protector instead…

"It's pretty obvious… you used to be really close and now…" He glanced to the side for a second, before he sighed and added: "So, what happened?"

"It's nothing really…" She murmured in a low voice and added in her mind _'not yet, at least…'_

"Oh come on… don't tell me you just woke up one day and decided not to talk to each other anymore… so what's going on?" The blonde frowned at her and still stared at her through his clear, piercing eyes.

"It's really complicated…" She sighed and focused her gaze on the clouds again.

"I have plenty of time…" The blonde rose up from the ground and seated himself cross-legged beside his team-mate, not giving her the chance to escape his gaze, again.

"I wouldn't even know where to start…" Sayuri shook her head and started ripping at some grass with her hand.

"Well - start at the beginning…" The Uzumaki advised her and caused at least a tiny smile to appear on her lips, even though it didn't stay there for long. It was really easy to tell from her face that she was engaged in an inner turmoil right now… it had to be something really big, she was hardly able to keep back any longer, so it made Naruto only all the more curious…

"I'm sorry… I can't tell you… " She eventually murmured, but didn't look too happy about her own words herself…

"I won't tell anyone – you know me; I keep my promises…" He tried to convince her and again she had this troubled expression on her face, so he figured it might work…

She really did want to tell him… she was keeping so many secrets at the moment – starting from the day she had seen Sasuke again – at times it really felt as if she would burst. She would have never thought that secrets could be such a burden… It was as if she always had to watch what she was saying… At the moment there was actually just one person she could (theoretically) talk to, without having to mind her words and that was Sasuke… however she didn't really feel like talking about her feelings in his presence so much – being the emotional wasteland he was, he really didn't seem to be the right person to do so with… And what's more, she really felt guilty for lying to her friends… She had at some point decided that lying to them was better than hurting them with the truth and now it seemed too late for her to go back and it was really eating at her… She hated lying… she really did, just as much as she hated hurting someone else's feelings and yet she had done so… otherwise she wouldn't be in trouble with Sakura now and she'd probably hurt even more people, once they found out that she'd been lying to every single one of them… It had worked out for now – you should think that everything had ended up just fine – in fact far better than anyone would have thought possible, so she really shouldn't complain here about some stupid pangs of conscience… It was for the greater good… kind of… it didn't really concern so many people anyway and only few in a negative way, so it should be all right… she really doubted that this secret was actually as big as it felt like to her – it was probably just a side-effect of carrying it around day in and day out… maybe, if her perception wasn't so tainted by her conscience, she'd realize that it was actually a trifle and that she had worried and felt terribly guilty for nothing…

"I don't know…" She sighed helplessly, as she noticed that the blonde still had his expectant eyes fixed on her, waiting for an answer…

"Then let's do it like this, I'll ask questions and you just say yes or no, or nod your head or shake it – however you like…" Naruto suggested, hardly able to hide his curiosity about what was disrupting his team…

"Okay…" Sayuri finally acquiesced, even though she didn't seem too enthusiastic about it…

"So… Sakura is mad at you…" He made his first guess and earned an assenting and yet hesitant nod right away.

"Because of something you did?" Now he didn't get a clear answer, Sayuri didn't seem to know herself or just wasn't sure if it was really fitting…

"Because of something you said?"

"Yes…" – This was the weird part; actually there wasn't really a reason for Sakura to be mad at her yet, from how much she knew, nothing had really happened yet… Actually 'mad' wasn't really the right word anyway – she didn't seem angry or anything it was more like she was disappointed and somehow that felt even worse… It was just this _'you should know better than that'_ part, which was like a stitch into her conscience…

"Did you insult her?!" Naruto exclaimed with a deeply shocked expression on his face – this was about as far as his guessing got him…

"Of course not…I-"

"Hey guys."

"No!" Naruto yelled and threw his hands in the air. He had been so close and now they got interrupted… With a killer look in his eyes he turned around to see, who could seriously have the nerves to disturb them and could only advise that person to start running already….

"Neji?!" He scrutinized the Hyuga, who looked rather confused about this cold welcoming with a likewise confused expression. "What are you doing here?"

"Training of course… am I interrupting you?" He looked at them with a raised eyebrow, but otherwise blank expression.

"Oh no – not at all!" Sayuri exclaimed in a relieved tone – seeing this interruption as a hint of fate for her to shut up and now she finally sat up as well, before she turned her head to Naruto, as he raised his voice.

"But what are you doing here… I mean – aren't you usually training at the Hyuga grounds?" The Uzumaki enquired and looked through clueless blue eyes at the brown-haired man.

"Usually… but there is hardly anything left of them anymore so I had to search for another place…" He explained and now an aghast expression appeared on Naruto's face.

"Oh, I'm sorry – I forgot…" He really had the ability to put his foot in his mouth whenever there was an occasion for it, but that was probably the price of having a loose tongue…

"Hm…" Neji nodded, before he asked: "And what are _you_ doing here?"

"What a question – we're training here!" The Uzumaki frowned and eyed the Hyuga with a sceptical expression.

"Yeah… I see that…" Neji muttered and now Naruto realized what he was driving at… their break was really lasting quite some time now…

"We're just taking a breather, but we have been training all morning…" He didn't really know why, but he felt the need to justify himself in front of the Hyuga, maybe it was something about the way he had come up here on his high horse and indirectly accused them of being lazy – even though that wasn't even wrong at the moment…

"Mmm-hmm…" The violet-haired girl nodded with a grim expression on her face, as she recalled the not so pleasant awakening…

"It's really good you came." Sayuri rose to her feet and smiled at Neji, whose face took on a strange, indefinable expression after that. "Naruto needs a training partner and I've got to go to the hospital now."

"Oh…" He looked a bit disappointed, but then glanced to the side, as Naruto jumped to his feet as well, clearly having far too much energy for his taste…

"Goodbye, Sayuri-chan and thank you for your help!" The Uzumaki grinned, before he turned towards Neji, not in the least disappointed about this change of partners.

"You're welcome. Bye Neji." She waved at the Hyuga, who just nodded in turn, before she took off and left him at the mercy of the hyperactive knucklehead ninja, who still had a lot of plans for the day…

…

…

Later that day a black-haired man walked with his hands in his pockets and his bored gaze fixed on the path ahead of him, over the full market-place of Konoha-Gakure. Something about his posture gave him an air of calm confidence and indifference; he didn't seem in the least impressed or unsettled by the numerous pairs of eyes that were following him, most of them resting on the small Uchiha crest on his back, which still sent a feeling of awe but also intimidation through most of the people.

Most of the people in Konoha-Gakure still felt a little uneasy about him and his team being allowed to return again… It was the same as back then; they were afraid of having them here, but wouldn't have wanted them anywhere else either – after all they were very powerful and could become a great advantage to the village – or they could become its downfall, in case their intentions weren't as sincere and pure as they tried to make believe…

If it had just been for the Uchiha, it would have been a bit different – he was only a single person and he had been born in the village and had spent most of his life here… Whereas those other three were complete strangers and the fact that they had all been associated with Orochimaru in some way, didn't really serve as a good basis for trusting them…

But they had all been there and helped out when the village had been attacked and they really did owe them quite a lot – however allowing them to stay here was a bit much… There have been quite a lot of doubts and at times even open protests against the Hokage's hasty decision, but she stuck to her word and reaffirmed over and over again that her decision was final. Over the weeks the protests had died down though, as the villagers had seen how much effort these ex-nuke-nins put into helping out – even though it wasn't in all cases voluntary… But they had far more things to worry about anyway – all the restoration works really demanded a lot of attention and then there was also the festival in just about ten days, which was something like a beacon of hope in these tough times…

Without looking left or right, the young Uchiha pulled open the heavy wooden door of the Hokage residence and entered the carpeted corridor without paying any attention to the boldly staring people, who walked past him. A few seconds later he stood in front of Tsunade's office and entered without bothering to knock.

Once he was inside the room, he let his blank black eyes wander over the four people inside who cast rather disapproving glances at him, which he could only return at the sight of them.

"You insolent brat – you knock before you enter a room!" Homura, a member of the village's council barked and received an assenting nod from the elderly woman, Koharu, next to him, whereas Danzô, who stood a bit in the background didn't react in any noticeable way to the bold entrance of the Uchiha-heir, but kept his narrowed eyes fixed on him.

"You demanded to see me." He ignored the council member's remark and turned towards Tsunade, who looked fairly stressed and had rolled her eyes after Homura's grousing.

"'You demanded to see me – _Hokage-sama_!'" The elderly man corrected him again, but received only a cold glare in return.

"I did." Same as Sasuke, Tsunade decided not to pay any attention to the elder and he didn't seem to be happy about this, but after that look the Uchiha had given him, he rather kept quiet - at least for the time being…

"We need to talk about your duties as a citizen of Konoha-Gakure and not to forget representative of the Uchiha-clan." Tsunade explained in a firm voice, before she rested her elbows on her scroll- and paper-covered oak desk and folded her hands under her chin.

Something about the already strained mood in the round office changed and became even worse after the mentioning of his clan's name and Sasuke peered through watchful eyes at the three people, standing to his right, who looked noticeably grim, but they had done so before, too, so that wasn't really new…

After waiting a couple of seconds for the raven-haired man to react in any kind, Tsunade merely sighed and then carried on, hoping that he was at least listening to her… "After you failed to attend the last public meeting, I think I have to remind you again that your position within the village entails a certain amount of social commitment – especially considering your temporary situation…"

She narrowed her honey-brown eyes meaningfully and scrutinized the Uchiha closely, who stood right in front of her desk, his hands in the pockets of his dark blue trousers and his blank face turned into her direction, whereas his charcoal eyes seemed to see through her – everything about his posture screamed indifference and even though Tsunade knew that this was simply the way he was, she couldn't help but to feel frustrated about his lacking interest and gratefulness in everything they had done for them – and the council-members seemed to feel this way, too.

"You answer when you are spoken to." This time it was Koharu to lecture him and even though she did it in a low voice, she seemed at least as irritated as the other council-member.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes into slits and glowered at the elderly woman, before he turned his face back to Tsunade and asked in a blank voice: "Is that it?"

"Phew…" Tsunade sighed in frustration and would have best liked to drop her head onto her table, but instead she just closed her eyes and took a deep breath in: "Basically…" Her voice trailed off, as if she wasn't so sure if this was really it or if she had forgotten anything.

"Hn." The Uchiha merely nodded after a couple of second in which she couldn't think of anything else to say and turned around, without wasting another glance at the council members. Once again the blonde woman sighed in frustration and clapped a hand to her forehead, while her eyes rested on the back of the raven-haired man, who just opened the door that very moment.

"And Sasuke…" She addressed him again and caused the Uchiha-heir to freeze in his movement, but he didn't turn back to her again.

"You should really work on your attitude…" She said in a tired voice and watched how the black-haired man walked out of her office, without reacting to her advice.

Once he was outside, he heard how many voices arose on the other side of the door, apparently the council-members were complaining about his behaviour, now that he was gone and apparently out of earshot…

This had really been a waste of time… Instead of ordering him here, she could have also told the messenger, who had informed him of this meeting, what she had just said… A bit too late now, though…

Lost in thoughts he wandered through the corridor, when the door in front of him flew open and in rushed a well-known blonde Genin, who stopped in his tracks though, as he caught sight of him and exclaimed in a surprised tone: "Sasuke?! What are you doing here, teme?"

The Uchiha just rolled his eyes about this not so very nice, but apparently well-meant nickname and came to a stop as well, while his coal black eyes wandered up and down the dust-covered and grass-stained clothes of the Uzumaki with a questioning look in them.

"Long time no see – how's it going?!" The blonde carried on, after receiving no answer to his first question, before he added: "I just need to see Tsunade, but how about some ramen afterwards? – We didn't really do anything apart form missions together since you're back, sooo – what do you say?"

Before Sasuke could even say anything, if he had meant to do so at all, they heard a loud rustle, coming from somewhere further back in the corridor, but as it was rounded, they couldn't really see what had happened. Sasuke looked over his shoulder, waiting for the person to show up and glad for something that distracted the Uzumaki again, who was now standing on tiptoe to peer over Sasuke's shoulder, but as nothing happened in nearly a minute and he could clearly feel that there was someone the blonde called out: "Hello?!"

Only about five metres away from the two men, stood Hinata, pressed against a wall amidst a pile of scattered papers and files. Her heart was beating violently and she was sure that her face was bright red – just as always when she saw, or right now only heard Naruto… She had really hoped they would go away, so she wouldn't have to face the two of them, even though she had only waited for an occasion to see the Uzumaki – but alone and prepared and not like this… Now that he had called out, she knew that he knew she was there, so she couldn't hide any longer…

Completely ignoring the without a doubt important documents covering her path, the blue-haired girl stepped over them and walked around the bend with her hands folded in front of her stomach.

"N-Naruto-kun… Sasuke-kun, good afternoon…" She bowed down slightly as soon as she saw them, not least to hide the fresh or maybe still old blush on her cheeks.

"Hinata-chan! How's it going?!" The Uzumaki greeted her enthusiastically, same as always catching her off guard with his openness.

"G-good… Naruto-kun…" She nodded but kept her head down and clasped her hands almost frantically in front of her chest… Actually she had promised herself to ask Naruto out to the festival… She had wanted to get this over with as quick as possible, before someone else could do so and more importantly before the festival would be so close that she'd become too nervous – which meant even more nervous than right now… She had even practised in front of the mirror what she would say and had memorized every single word of it – forwards and backwards – however now her mind was entirely empty or just clouded by his presence…

"Eh… Hinata-chan?" The blonde frowned at the apparently paralysed Hyuga and scratched the back of his head – however his words had succeeded in bringing her back to reality and she twitched in shock, before looking straight into Naruto's deep blue eyes. That didn't seem to have been a good idea, she could already feel how her face stated burning and she also felt a little dizzy, but she tried to stay strong and fixed her pale eyes on the ground to her feet.

"Uhm… I wondered… I mean…" She stuttered in a barely audible voice and began shifting her weight from one foot to the other in a nervous manner.

"What? You need to speak louder if you want someone to hear you!" The Uzumaki advised her and cast a questioning side-glance at Sasuke, who looked as if he was just about to walk off, before he looked at the blue-haired girl again, who was still murmuring something to herself. The next second he was right in front of her, with his hand cupped around his ear, right in front of her mouth.

That did it.

He was just way too close… Before she could even do anything about it, the room and everything in it faded away as if it had been sucked up by a huge vacuum cleaner and left her in complete blackness.

"Woah, Hinata!" The blonde threw his hands into the air, before he knelt down to the unconscious girl, who had only just hit the ground with a rather loud bang and fanned some air into her face, really not knowing what else to do.

"Hey – do something!" The blonde cast a helpless look at the Uchiha before he placed a hand under Hinata's back to lift her upper body up and leaned her against his knee.

"What is wrong with her? She needs a doctor!" The Uzumaki stared through anxious blue eyes at the girl in his arms and now tried to wake her up by lightly slapping her face, before he went back to fanning again.

"Don't just stand there – maybe she's seriously ill!" Naruto exclaimed; looking a little lost the way he held her there with her head hanging over his knee and nearly hitting the ground again; however his statement merely caused the clan-heir to shake his head in bewilderment.

"You're so clueless…" He sighed and stared through his coal black eyes at the Uzumaki, who apparently didn't get the hint, but stared with his confused, blue saucer eyes at the Uchiha, which then also filled with dread as that one walked out of the corridor and left him alone with his problem.

…

…


	3. Big Plans

**3. ****Big plans**

It was still early noon, which meant lunch break, but the office belonging to the Hokage was caught up in utter turmoil, no trace of rest or break or at least a tiny bit of calmness. Numerous people walked in and out, all laden with piles of important documents, over-sized folders containing illustrations of various concepts and designs or a range of different food samples and of course they all considered their task to be the most important one and tried to draw the Hokage's attention to themselves…

The huge festival was only five days away now and the members of the organization-team started getting nervous, as they were far behind schedule in the execution of their plans… And if that wasn't enough, there were still all these complications with the restoration of the destroyed districts, then the first mission reports had finally been handed in and whatever else there was…

There was simply a whole lot of work, only waiting for Tsunade to finally put her hands on it, but even though it was still relatively early, the blonde woman wasn't really able to pick up anything any longer…

She was sitting at her desk, which had vanished underneath various layers of paper, swatches and several bites of food, neatly arranged on small dishes, while at least seven people tried to talk to her simultaneously, even though they didn't seem to be after an answer – at least they didn't keep quiet for long enough to actually listen to anything other than their own voices…

As the hours passed the Godaime had more and more shrunken down in her comfortable light blue chair and was by now only physically present, while her mind had gone on holiday and no one seemed to have even noticed that…

All these different voices merged and turned into a summer breeze and maybe also the rustling of some leaves – just anything but nerve-racking and human – the green floor became a field of lush grass with beautifully blooming cherry trees surrounding it and she was no longer sitting in a chair, but on a white picnic rug, with colourful patches and various kinds of food on it, a wide range of different tiny portions, she hadn't even touched yet…

"Tsunade-sama?" She heard her name, but it was like the twentieth time in the last five minutes so she didn't feel like reacting to it. It's not like it mattered what she had to say or not, so she might as well say nothing…

Then about a minute later, the murmuring of the wind faded and this odd silence brought the Godaime back into the reality of her untidy, but at least no longer overcrowded office.

"Shizune, Sakura?" She raised an eyebrow and shot a questioning look at the two women, before she noticed that her office was entirely empty except for them, even though she had no idea when or whereto the others had vanished, but it's not like she cared - as long as they were gone and wouldn't show up too soon again, she was okay with anything… Even though she was kind of curious nonetheless, how the two of them had apparently managed to do, what she had failed at doing the entire day…

"Where…?" She looked around in puzzlement until Shizune stepped towards her and explained: "I've sent them away for now; you really look like you could need a break…"

"Hah! I've been taking a break all day…" She grimaced and saw a confused expression rise on her opposites faces, so she just shrugged and asked: "So, why did you come here…"

"We thought you might need some help with all the paper work…" Shizune explained, before Sakura added: "Yeah and we thought you shouldn't be the one to plan your own annual – so just leave it to us." The pinkette grinned at her master, who looked a little sceptical though, as if she just waited for them to say something like: _but only as long as you are sleeping, so you better not wake up__…_However after she had inconspicuously pinched herself in her thigh, to make sure she really was awake, she sighed in relief and started messaging her stiff shoulders.

"I really don't know what I would do without you…"

"Despairing…"

"Snapping…"

"Drinking…"

"Hangovering…" The two women exchanged a stichomythia-like series of potential occupations they thought their boss capable of, with broad grins on their faces - not in the least because of the impatient look on Tsunade's face.

"Okay, okay… I get it – I'd be nothing without you… I mean who am I anyway… I am only one of the legendary Sannin, probably the best medic-nin there is and the Hokage of Konoha-Gakure, so I really didn't get a long way…" The blonde frowned at them and squeezed her eyes shut to block out their gleeful grins…

"Phew… So that's settled then…" Shizune stuck out her tongue saucily before she piled up the various scattered documents on Tsunade's desk and quickly flipped through them.

"I could take care of the organization – I'm sure Ino would be glad to help me and-" Sakura started but was interrupted by the black-haired woman.

"No, no, no – it's not only Tsunade's annual but also your birthday, so I'll take care of that – you can help Tsunade with the paper work and maybe also with writing a speech…" Shizune proposed and shot a meaningful side-glance first at the pink-haired kunoichi and then an inconspicuous one at the head of their village, who didn't miss that, though, but decided not to react to this obvious doubt in her eloquence…

"Okay…" Sakura nodded, getting the hint, even though writing ceremonial speeches wasn't exactly her field of expertise, either…

Shizune was just about to say something else, when they heard a rather loud babel of voices, on the other side of the door and turned their heads around in irritation.

"Hehe… they are all yours now…" Tsunade yawned with relish and stretched her arms over her head, while a malicious sneer rose on her lips and intimidated Shizune slightly as she caught sight of it… As if by command the door opened and in stormed a mass of event managers, cooks and several of her assistants, carrying even more piles of documents in their hands, than they had just a couple of minutes ago…

Shizune's eyes widened slightly at the sight of all these people, who must have doubled in number since she had sent them out and who somehow seemed even more impatient and agitated than before.

"Ladies and gentlemen, in case you have any questions or concerns, please direct them to my assistant over here; she will gladly take care of all your requests and queries…" The blonde leisurely pointed a finger at the dark-haired woman and watched with a gloating grin, how she vanished among the crowd of people, who closed in on her as if she distributed free samples.

Tsunade shot an innocent look at Sakura, before she winked at her and got up from her desk. Motioning the pinkette to follow her, she tiptoed past the pitiable Shizune out of her own office and enjoyed her newly acquired freedom, by filling her lungs with the clean air, once she had gotten out of the Hokage tower.

"Tsunade-sama, you left all the documents behind – how are we supposed to take care of the mission reports now?" Sakura enquired and turned her head into the direction of the sun to let its bright beams warm her, as the air was still relatively cold and it was a bit windy as well.

"There's no rush – I've worked through half of them already and the remaining ones can wait till after the weekend…" The blonde woman smiled cheekily and let her honey-brown eyes wander over the busy market place.

Numerous small market stalls have been put up in the course of the last two days and many people were at the moment arranging their goods in them in the most elaborate way, or were decorating them with white paper lampions.

Usually the cherry blossom festival wasn't that much of a big deal… however after the past events, they had decided that the people could really need something to cheer them up – even though that meant extra work in this as it was busy time – so they had turned it into a huge street festival, almost like a carnival: There were numerous stalls where you could obtain food from different regions, but also Konoha's specialities of course and not to forget Sake by the litre, or others were you could test your skills with various little games like goldfish scooping or dart shooting – even though ninjas weren't allowed there… And most numerous were probably the novelty stalls, where you could obtain anything from fake kunai, to fake shuriken, to fake ANBU-masks, to whatever else they were able to fake – mainly some useless stuff, which was weirdly enough in great demand…

"That leaves us only with the speech then…" Sakura sighed, really not keen on this task at all, however the content grin on the Hokage's face caused her to frown – this was about the first time she saw Tsunade look forward to doing her work and she couldn't help but to feel a little uneasy about this…

"Never mind the speech – I've already found someone else who'll do it." Tsunade stuck out her tongue cheekily, before she rolled her shoulders and stretched out her arms, while taking another deep breath, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her mind…

"I guess this means we have a day off…" She grinned at her student, who looked with a beaming face and yet a slight trace of disbelief in her emerald-green eyes at the blonde woman, who then added: "But no word to Shizune…"

"Uhm… Okay." The pinkette smiled, even though it made her feel a tinsy bit guilty as well to leave her colleague in the lurch, but it was an order by the Hokage, so what could she possibly do…?

After chatting a bit longer with Tsunade, Sakura said goodbye and strolled through the numerous alleys, watching the people at their work; they really made every effort to get everything ready in time and not only ready but really perfect. Everything was planned out down to the last detail – they had even replanted some cherry trees into the area surrounding the market place, because after the attack the ones which had actually stood here had been entirely destroyed, along with almost everything else… It was really amazing to see how fast everything had (nearly) returned to normal again… actually she could count herself lucky that her birthday fell on the very day they had decided to hold this great feast – this way she hardly had to do anything for her birthday party; it also meant that she wouldn't be in the centre of attention though, but she could live with that…

"Hey Sakura…" She was ripped out of her train of thoughts as she heard someone call her name and she first had to orientate herself, before she noticed the girl to her right.

"Sayuri!" She called out in surprise, but then recollected herself pretty quickly again and added in a calmer tone: "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?"

She scrutinized the violet-haired girl with a critical look in her eyes, before she remembered that she was actually skipping work as well and a more neutral expression appeared on her face.

"Oh no, I'm assigned to a nightshift today…" Sayuri explained meekly, it was really obvious that she felt rather uneasy at the moment and the pinkette didn't miss that. She had really treated her like crap lately so it wasn't really surprising… Actually she felt a little bit sorry for treating her so reserved and even mean at times, but it was really hard to just switch off this behaviour… She wasn't even mad at her, at least not really, it was far more complicated… she was rather disappointed in a way, but then also something else but she couldn't really name it… She had thought these feelings would settle if she would just give her a wide berth for some time, but now nearly two months had passed and they had distanced themselves from each other in a way that made it seem impossible to just go back to normal… Everytime they'd talk, it would always be in a really strained and superficial way, as if they were perfect strangers, who had just coincidentally crossed each others path… She really didn't like how things had turned out, but she just didn't know how to fix it… maybe an apology would be enough, even though she wasn't so sure about that and then the two of them were probably far too stubborn to do so… well actually Sayuri didn't really have anything to apologise for… She had told her that she had fallen in love with Sasuke – that was merely the way she felt… same as her, she couldn't do anything about her feelings so this really wasn't anything Sayuri had to say sorry for… In fact she would even have to give her credit for telling her at all – this meant that she knew about her feelings and didn't mean to hurt them, right? So actually she was the one who should feel sorry about the way she had behaved… but then again this had just been the way she had felt, as well and she really couldn't do anything about it, even if she had wanted to and she had definitely tried, so she wasn't in the position to apologise either… This is what made it so complicated… it was merely a succession of trivialities, misunderstandings and exaggerated behaviour… the reason for it seemed to have gotten lost right at the beginning and didn't seem important anymore…

"So… what are you doing here…?" Sayuri asked hesitantly, while her gaze was fixed on two little children who had just bought an ice and were sharing it…

"Well, nothing really – I've been given the day off so…" The pinkette explained looking noticeably uncomfortable herself, before she forced herself to add: "How about you?"

"Oh… I wanted to buy a new yukata for the festival… I can't really wear my old one again…" Sayuri grimaced wryly, but then looked up as she heard Sakura emit an amused tone before she clasped a hand in front of her mouth and forced back a grin.

"Oh! I remember – someone gave Lee Sake and then he…well he…" The pink-haired kunoichi recalled and had to bite into her lower lip to not laugh out loud, even though she did feel kind of sorry for Sayuri as well…

"Well… Yes… and I happened to be the lucky one who was sitting next to him then, so…" Sayuri murmured and grinned dryly – thinking back, it really had been funny, but not in that situation…

"Yeah… that was really unfortunate…" Now that she saw that Sayuri could barely bite back a grin herself she didn't bother any longer, too. She could still vividly remember what had happened at the feast last year… she didn't really know how it had come to this, but Lee had somehow gotten drunk and had spontaneously decided to dance on the table and Sayuri who had been closest to him, had become his chosen partner… He had gripped for her arm and tried to pull her upwards, but she had put up some resistance of course, which had resulted in the sleeve of her yukata getting torn off and her crashing on her back and pulling some elderly guy with her, who had to go to the hospital then, while Lee had just carried on dancing all by himself and probably hadn't noticed any of that at all…

"But Lee and your sleeve really made a cute couple…" Sakura giggled and now finally looked directly at her opposite who looked rather amused, too… "You think he still has it?"

"Well, he never gave it back, so maybe…" Sayuri grimaced and now both girls started laughing lightly – it was as if the ice had finally been broken – so it hadn't really been about an apology after all…

"Uhm… you know I wanted to buy some new clothes as well… mind if I come with you?" Sakura asked and there was a kind of contrite tinge in her voice…

"Not at all!" Sayuri looked a bit surprised, but then smiled at the pinkette, which she returned at once and so the two girls walked off and Sayuri wasn't so sure if she should be glad about this change or if it should make her feel even guiltier than she already did…

…

…

"Good job, everyone." Yamato praised his team, once they had reached the main gate, leading into the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

"Hmpf…" The red-haired woman, standing right next to him snorted and caused two of the other three people to simultaneously roll their eyes in frustration.

"Everyone… right…" She adjusted her dark-rimmed glasses and shot an accusing side-glance at the black-haired man, who was wearing a green spandex jumpsuit and seemed to have fallen into a cauldron full of stimulants or caffeine or anything which might cause hyperactivity and maybe also a reduction in brain activity when he was a baby, but he didn't seem to notice that … However the other ones were well aware of what she was driving at and were long past being merely annoyed by Karin's constant complaining and grousing… not to forget her excessive self-adulation… She was talented alright, but not as talented as she apparently thought she was…

"You can go home now, I'll pass the mission report to the Hokage later on." Yamato just ignored Karin's sharp remark and dismissed his team, really glad to have finally gotten this over with… It had been about the worst mission or rather the worst-chosen team he has ever led. The mixture of Karin and Ino in itself had already been catastrophic enough; however adding a clueless Lee to them, who managed to trigger ever new fights among the two girls, had made things even worse, as hard as this might be to imagine…

Karin and Ino hadn't gotten along from the very first second they had seen each other, as if someone had used some kind of special ink, no one but them was able to see, to write the word '_enemy'_ on their foreheads… anyway, it had resulted in various verbal battles that had been really intimidating to merely watch, interfering had seemed to equal signing one's own death warrant…

At some point they had decided not to waste their breath on each other any longer – it had been really calm and peaceful ten minutes… but then Karin had found something that had bothered her about Lee and had at once told him about it of course and Ino must have suddenly developed some kind of maternal instinct that very instant and had taken her team-mate under her wings and a few second later they had been at it again…

Yamato had really been afraid that they'd have losses in their number, before they'd even encounter the enemies, but somehow they had made it without killing each other – the only thing that was dead were probably his nerves and his patience, so he was indescribably glad to finally get rid of them…

Feeling about the same way, as her team-leader did, Karin made her way home, still so livid that she really hoped not to meet anyone on her way back – at least for that person's sake – quite frankly she could have really needed someone to vent her rage on… the only thing that kept her from simply screaming out loud was the prospect of this night… She had really big plans for tonight and that was about the only thing that had carried her through this crappy day or rather week at all…

Same as always when she reached the Uchiha district, she was smitten by a feeling of frustration and disappointment… They had lured her to stay here under false pretences…

When they had asked her if she could imagine living here, she had only agreed, because she had been sure, they had meant _living with Sasuke_… They had actually said so, but then, after they had eventually gotten away from that obnoxious blonde woman with the monster cleavage, who was supposedly the leader of the village, even though she rather looked like a stripper, doing the school girl thing or something, with that two weird ponytails, which in her opinion no one should wear who had successfully absolved primary school, they had reached this huge district here and she had been like really impressed by how rich Sasuke had to be, especially as she had seen the huge mansion he had grown up in and that was all his, too… Like seriously, he has been a real catch already before but now he was good-looking _AND_ rich, how much better could it get?

It was as if her heart had skipped a beat as she had seen all this and she had already pictured what it would be like to be the lady of this house – of course Juugo and Suigetsu hadn't appeared in her little daydream, it was just Sasuke and her… However then he had brought her back down to earth, as he had told them that they could take whatever house they wanted and it was obvious that his house wasn't included in this offer…

It had been like a slap in the face. The only reason why she had wanted to stay here had just disappeared into thin air… she had literally seen her nice little vision of the future burst like a bubble… it was really unfair, but she had told herself that just because she didn't live in his house (not yet at least) didn't have to mean anything – they were still neighbours, so she would see him often enough… The house she had chosen was just three doors away from his – it wasn't as imposing as that huge mansion admittedly, but it wasn't bad either… The interior furnishing left a bit to be desired and not only because everything had been upside down and at times even broken when she had first set foot in it… it had been a lot of work to make this place inhabitable again, but she was satisfied with how it had turned out… but it's not like she was sooo attached to it now, that she couldn't imagine living somewhere else any longer… really not…

She didn't really have much time to enjoy having a whole house for herself anyway, because they always found some work for her… it was really annoying and not only the fact that she was exploited like this, but also that every single one of the missions she received took quite some time and she always got matched up with the worst possible people … by now she even believed that Konoha was only inhabited by stupid good-for-nothings… Her latest mission was the best proof of that… That blonde, empty-headed premenstrual princess and then that even more empty-headed eyebrow-freak with the ugly bowl cut - they were like dumb and dumber and their team-leader had been a complete joke as well – with these crazy eyes of his they could put him into a horror chamber and he would probably put the requisites to shame…

But that was behind her now… they had granted her five whole days off – like wow, after having been on missions for about four weeks in total, five days were really generous… Absolutely appropriate, considering how much she had done for them…

Entirely engrossed in her mental rant, Karin slammed her entrance door shut, once she had gotten home, even though there was no one who might have heard it, but it still made her feel a little bit better… Once she stood in the middle of her living room, she inhaled deeply and ran a hand through her long red hair, while her thoughts travelled back to her plans for tonight and a smug smile appeared on her lips. It was only just three o'clock, so she still had plenty of time… She would just take it easy and do something for herself, so that she'd feel human again… and that was really necessary… After all these missions she could really need some time to relax and pamper herself…

Six hours later she stood in front of her bedroom mirror and studied herself. After having taken a rather long nap and then a hot bath, she really felt like a completely new person and the clothes she had put on only emphasized that… She was wearing a short, form-fitting black dress with long sleeves. It was high-cut in the front, but very low in the back and the colour perfectly accentuated her crimson hair and equally coloured eyes - not to forget the glaring red lipstick she had put on…

She really felt good about herself today and you could really tell by looking at her. After the day has had such an awful start, it had really taken a turn for the better and if everything would work out the way she had planned to…

The mere thought of that caused another crooked smile to rise on her face and a light blush settled on her cheeks. After twirling in front of the mirror for a last time to admire her dress from every angle, she eventually averted her eyes from her reflection and went downstairs.

It was just about time… she knew that Sasuke was home now and that Juugo was still somewhere else and Suigetsu was gone anyway – so no interference there – now she faced only one last problem… she needed some kind of excuse for turning up at his house at this late hour… actually her dress should be excuse enough, but still she'd rather play it safe… they were neighbours now, so maybe she could make use of that…

She had monitored his house, so she knew that he had only just gotten home now… And she had only just gotten back from a really long mission herself, so maybe she could tell him that she didn't have any food left or that all her food was rotten and mouldy – well maybe that would be a bit too much detail… and ask him if she could eat with him, or even propose to cook something for the two of them… Kind of like a romantic candle-light dinner – just without a waiter, not really in a restaurant and without delicious food either, since she wasn't exactly a born cook, but the whole eating-part was only of secondary importance anyway, but he didn't need to know that… Judging from his chakra, he must have been training or something, so he should definitely be hungry…

She wasn't really happy with her story, but then there was still the killer dress she was wearing - and well, then the person inside of it of course - so it should work out somehow… Therefore, after taking a deep breath and gathering all her courage, Karin pulled her shoulders back and tilted her chin up, before she tottered in her stilettos, with head held high, out of her house and towards the Uchiha mansion.

Once she was there, she leaned herself against the doorframe, trying her best to make her pose look as flattering and yet natural as possible, before she knocked softly, until she perceived that Sasuke's chakra was moving into her direction. A few seconds later he shoved the door open and stared at her with a blank face.

"Karin." He said her name in his normal husky voice; not so much like a question, but rather like a statement, as if he wasn't in the least surprised to see her here and Karin could feel a layer of goosebumps crawl down her spine at the sound of his voice…

"Hey, Sasuke…" She said in a purring voice and smiled lewdly, really liking the way his name rolled off her tongue and almost certain that he did so, too. "I just came home from a mission and don't have any more food left, so I wondered if I could eat with you?" She fluttered her long lashes and pushed herself off the doorway, in a way that best emphasized her curves.

Sasuke scrutinized her for a couple of seconds with an unreadable expression, before he stepped aside and allowed Karin to enter…

Her shoulders brushed his lightly as she passed him, a mere coincidence of course and she noticed something in the air… some smell she somehow knew put couldn't quite identify at the moment and she didn't really like it… but that didn't really matter now, because as soon as she had turned her back on him, she was sure she could feel his eyes wander over her bare skin, and she couldn't keep a triumphant smile from appearing on her lips and she already congratulated herself mentally.

The most difficult part of her plan had been getting into his house; the other part was nearly foolproof… she knew the Uchiha and she was pretty sure that she knew by now how to get to him… After all they had been travelling together for quite some time now and she had used every single second of it to study him, so she would be able to figure out his personality – his likes and dislikes – just everything that was worth knowing and there were a lot of things, but luckily she was quick-witted and had a good memory, so she was certain she had been able to keep up… She was pretty sure that she knew by now what made him tick… he always acted cold and reserved, as if he wasn't in the least interested in any kind of interpersonal relationship, or as if he wasn't subject to human needs, but she knew first hand that that wasn't the case and tonight she would convince herself again of what she already knew …

…

…


	4. Unexpected visitor

**4.**** Unexpected visitor**

Ever since yesterday, the sky was obscured by heavy grey clouds, which loomed threateningly over the horizon, but hadn't shed a single drop of rain yet. It seemed as if it was only a matter of time though, the air was already thick with humidity and a strong wind whipped through the pale yellow wheat field, across which a group of five shinobi was running and crimped the still rather short stalks of the crops to the ground.

The group around Sasuke and Juugo had been on the run since at least 30 hours – with the important scroll they had successfully stolen from an influential feudal lord in the Land of Grass, who employed to their dismay, quite a high number of ninja to his personal security… This was one of the reasons (apart from the rather narrow time limit they have been given) why they had taken as few breaks as possible on their way back, ever since they've laid hand on the scroll…

They had already crossed the borders of the Fire Country, but they couldn't let their guard down until they had passed through the main gate of Konoha. Exhausted as they were, though more from the running than from the fighting which they had been able to evade for the most part, they were easy prey for a sneak attack, however by keeping on running, they hoped they would make it impossible for their enemies (if there were any at all) to surround them…

Not everyone in the small group of shinobi agreed to these exaggerated safety precautions, though… there were at least two among them, who were clearly of the opinion that what they did was a waste of effort… However their team-leader, a Jounin, who was wearing a blank white porcelain mask, like those they wore in the ANBU, even though it wasn't shaped like anything, and hadn't even told them his name – but it's not like anyone really cared anyway – stuck to his decision and tried to soothe his team by telling them, that even if they were most likely capable of beating their opponents, there was still the time limit, which didn't leave any time for breaks…

It was already noon, even though the clouded sky made it impossible to tell, when they left behind the agricultural land and entered a deep spruce forest, whose dense green foliage allowed even less of the scarce light to reach the moss and fern covered ground.

They were only two hours away from their home now and everything had worked out flawlessly and they really hoped that wouldn't change now that they had put on a final spurt…

While their gazes were resolutely fixed forwards, already seeing their homes and more importantly a warm bed in their mind's eye, they didn't realize how Juugo fell behind slowly but surely, until he came to a complete stop and now called the attention of the Chunin who was closest to him to himself.

"Hey, come on! We're almost there – you can rest later!" He encouraged him, though his voice sounded rather harsh and not to forget breathless.

The auburn-haired man didn't react to his words though; his head was directed to the ground while his chest heaved rapidly up and down, which was even visible through the thick, dark-grey cloak he was wearing.

"Are you listening?" The Chunin enquired with a frown on his face, before he cast an uneasy side-glance at the rest of his team, who had come to a halt now as well.

"You're gonna die." Juugo's head suddenly shot up and half of his face was covered with dark-grey symbols and the sclera of his left eye had turned black.

Before the young Chunin even had the time to digest what his team-mate had only just said, his weirdly deformed arm shot forwards, straight towards his face.

A second later he was on the ground and as he looked up, he could see the Uchiha, who must have pushed him aside, jump out of Juugo's way, whose arm crashed into a really big tree nearby then. Because of the force behind this attack the tree was ripped out of the ground and then Juugo hauled it against one of his team-members, who got buried underneath it.

With scornful laughter, Juugo pulled back his arm, which was shaped like an axe now, and scanned the area for his opponent, until he came across the blood red eyes of the Uchiha, who stood just a metre away from him.

"Enough now, Juugo…" He murmured calmly and watched with a blank face how the dark symbols on Juugo's skin retreated and he sunk to the ground, as if all strength had left him from one second to the next.

Once he was sure that Juugo had overcome his urge to kill, Sasuke closed his eyes and deactivated his Sharingan, before he opened them again and stared at the kneeling figure of his team-mate, who had clutched an arm to his shoulder and looked like a shivering wreck.

It took him a couple of seconds to calm down and rise to his feet again. However as he did, his eyes fell on the other members of his team – at least two of them, who were standing in front of an uprooted tree and were trying to shove it away… that's when he saw the third person – his legs were buried under the tree, but he helped with pushing the trunk away, so he can't have been too badly injured – but still he was injured and that was already too much…

The shocked expression on Juugo's face yielded to a distraught one and he apologized repeatedly, even though all he got for a reaction was a timid side-glance from the youngest Chunin of their squad.

"Stay away!" He exclaimed, as the ex-nuke-nin walked into their direction, actually meaning to help them, however he stopped in his tracks after these harsh words and you could really see something crumble in his face – there weren't many weapons that could do as much damage as some words could…

The Uchiha observed Juugo from the corner of his eyes for a long moment, before he directed his jet black eyes to the ninja in front of him and walked up to them, while drawing his Kusanagi out of its sheath.

"Woah… hey…" The young Chunin staggered and stumbled backwards, as did the Jounin too, as he caught sight of the razor-sharp blade of Sasuke's katana.

The Uchiha didn't react to their timid looks though, but walked up to the tree and after two slashes of his Kusanagi and a kick of his foot, the piece of wood, right above the trapped Chunin dropped down, closely followed by the two remaining parts of the tree.

He perceived some surprised sounds, as if they had really believed he would kill them or something… After he had put his katana back into the sheath, that he had tucked into the violet cord, which was wrapped around his waist, he glanced with a derisive look in his eyes over his shoulder, at the three other members of their temporary team, before he directed them at Juugo, who stood there with lowered head and hunched shoulders at the very same spot as before.

"Let's go…" The Uchiha took the reins, as these cowards didn't really deserve to be in the lead in his opinion. Instead of complaining about the Uchiha's self-promotion, they obeyed his order and stuck noticeably close to him while staying noticeably far away from Juugo simultaneously.

Once they were back in the village, the real team-leader took over again and brought the scroll to the Hokage while the others were free to go wherever they liked, which was probably home in most cases …

Juugo and Sasuke, who had the same way home, now that they were neighbours, walked towards the Uchiha compound in silence. The streets were fairly empty - the rain-laden clouds must have had a deterrent effect on the villagers, but they really did look like they would burst any second.

They were on the main street at the moment and the fire-symbol on top of the Hokage tower came into view and made Juugo halt for a moment. Once Sasuke noticed that, he stopped, as well and cast a questioning side-glance at his team-mate, who still wore a depressed, but also thoughtful expression on his face.

"You think it will work…" Juugo detached his gaze from the round red building and bored his piercing eyes into Sasuke's, who didn't miss the plaintive look in them.

He was talking about Tsunade's promise to help him – or at least try so… This had been his first blackout, ever since they came here, which was quite some time, now… It must have reminded him of his problem, of the reason why he had voluntarily committed himself into Orochimaru's hands – that alone should make clear just how desperate he was… Tsunade was his last hope, his only chance of ever being normal, of ever leading a normal life without having to be afraid of hurting someone…

"I don't know…" Sasuke stated truthfully and kept his coal black eyes fixed on his team-mate who lowered his head slightly, while a bleak smile rose on his lips.

"Me neither…" He sighed and shook his head, as if he meant to shake off these thoughts, before he tilted his head up again and nodded at Sasuke, who returned the nod in understanding and after that they both carried on with their way home.

…

…

Later that day, Sayuri was at Sasuke's house again. Actually she wouldn't have come here - after having only just returned from this pretty harsh mission – B-rank, after all – she was sure that he could need some time to rest and recover, but he had asked her to do so even before he had set out, which was about four days ago now and it's not like she wasn't glad to see him… Quite frankly, having had a rather harsh week herself, Sayuri had really looked forward to today.

In fact, this evening was one of the things that had occupied her mind the entire time she had been with Sakura a few days ago and had tried to revive their friendship during their rather successful shopping spree…

She was such a hypocrite… Here she had been with Sakura and had acted as if everything was fine and then, just a couple of days later she had come here, which was pretty much the very reason why they had been in trouble in the first place… She had never told Sakura that anything about her feelings had changed, but she hadn't told her either that there was far more to this whole thing than she imagined… A great friend she was – a backstabbing cowardly liar… Sakura had every right to be mad at her – this change in her behaviour had only increased her pangs of guilt which had been impossible to ignore anyway… But she tried her best to block that out now, even though it wasn't right… But she hadn't seen Sasuke in quite some time now and had really looked forward to spending this evening with him…

He had returned from his mission only just two hours ago and seemed rather exhausted, even though he would never openly admit that… but you noticed that from the way he behaved and moved, even the kind of faraway expression in his actually blank eyes…

Sayuri was in the kitchen and leaned over the pot of water on the stove right in front of her. Once she had made sure the water had the right temperature, she added some noodles to it, before she turned to the smaller pot next to it and removed its lid to peer into it. The sauce was done already, so she turned off the hotplate and stirred the contents again, while the aromatic scent drifted into her nose and raised a contended smile on her lips.

After having put the lid back onto the pot, she leaned her back against the kitchen counter and rested both her hands on it, while she stared at the clock at the opposite wall right above the small TV and then shot a slightly impatient side-glance at the pot of noodles.

With a sigh she pushed herself off the counter again and lowered the temperature of the stove a bit, before she walked out of the kitchen and passed through the long corridor until she reached the end of it. The broad sliding door, leading into the garden was open, so she stepped through it and let her eyes roam over the wooden porch, which surrounded the entire mansion.

A few metres to her side she could see Sasuke, who was sitting on the wooden floor, with his back leaning against the exterior wall and he had one of his legs stretched out in front of him while he had drawn up the other one and was casually resting his hand on it.

His coal black eyes were fixed on the garden in front of him, but he looked up briefly as he noticed Sayuri's presence and lowered his arm, as she walked up to him. With a smile on her face, she sat down next to him and hooked her arm under his, while she leaned her head against his shoulder and entwined her slender fingers with his.

They didn't say anything, but kept their eyes fixed on the rather unkempt garden, which nevertheless had its own charm with all these colourful wildflowers on the mossy lawn and the numerous blossoming trees, which cast their shadows on the ground and the almost completely overgrown pond.

A faint dripping filled the air, as the first big drops of rain fell onto the water surface of the remnants of the pond and onto the roof covering the porch. It sounded a bit like tiny pebbles or acorns, which rolled down the shingles right above their heads.

It was a really tranquil scene, you should think, but not with the hyperactive dog, who barked at the rain and tried to catch some of the bigger drops… Sayuri's eyes remained focused on him and she couldn't help but to grin about how stupid and clumsy he was – especially as he jumped up, but was then distracted by some birds which flew past him and didn't quite manage a decent landing…

She laughed lightly as she saw the perplexed look on his face as he struggled to his paws again, only to take up his former occupation again the very next second.

"Why do you bother to keep him?" Sasuke, who had apparently been watching the huge black dog, too, enquired in a low voice and there was an uncomprehending frown on his face.

"What do you mean?" Sayuri craned her neck to look at him, but his pitch black eyes remained focussed on the scene in front of him.

"He is only an inconvenience – you have to feed him, take care of him, but you don't derive any benefit from that – he doesn't have any talents you could make use of…" He stated in his usual deep voice and now finally turned his eyes down to Sayuri who had moved away from him and twisted her upper body around to have a better look at him.

"He isn't a tool, but a living creature… and just because he's no ninja dog doesn't mean he is useless…" The violet-haired girl explained and directed her eyes at the dog again while a familiar smile flitted across her face and a faraway expression settled in her misty blue eyes.

Sasuke observed her reaction with a sceptical but also thoughtful look in his eyes, before he gazed down as Sayuri slipped her hand out of his and got to her feet.

"I guess dinner should be ready…" She stated once she was standing and went back into the kitchen, after receiving an understanding nod from the young Uchiha.

Half an hour later, they were both sitting at the kitchen table, which was now covered with empty pots and plates, but hardly any trace of food…

The light drizzle from before had turned into a heavy downpour and the wind had increased as well and was pounding the raindrops violently against the windowpanes and the roof – it was so loud that you could actually be fooled into believing someone had secretly moved the house under a waterfall…

Sayuri sat cross-legged on a thin beige mat on the wooden floor and was feeding her dog with the last leftovers from her plate, while Sasuke sat with his arms crossed in front of his chest on the other side of the table and regarded the two of them with a pensive expression.

Once her plate was entirely empty, Sayuri rose to her feet and piled up the other dishes as well, before she put them into the sink and began rinsing them, while humming something to herself in the cover of the pouring rain.

Sasuke remained where he was, almost looking like a Buddha statue, lost in thoughts as he was, but then there was suddenly some motion in his face as his coal-black eyes darted towards the kitchen door, which flew open only a second later.

"Hey Sasuke –" A white haired man scurried into the room, but then interrupted his dynamic greeting as his violet eyes fell on the girl on the other side of the room, who looked at him with a shocked expression.

"- _and_ Sayuri…" Suigetsu added with a sneaky grin on his face and there was something about the tone in his voice that she didn't like at all…

"What do you want here?" Sasuke asked brusquely and glowered at his team-mate, who then threw up his arms defensively.

"Hey, we're neighbours now, so I thought I'd come around and say hello… didn't know you had a visitor already… say Sayuri did you get such a hearty welcome, too?" Suigetsu closed his eyes and grinned into her direction, while Sayuri was at the moment too churned up by the thought that they had been caught to think of an answer to his question or to realize that she had been asked something at all…

"Do you always enter other people's houses like that?" Sasuke took over and drew the Houzuki's attention to himself, which diverted a bit from the fact that he wouldn't have gotten any response from the violet-haired girl anyway.

"Well, you didn't open." Suigetsu crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared with a raised eyebrow and an accusing look in his eyes at the Uchiha-heir.

"Didn't hear any knocking…" Sasuke looked no less sceptically at the white-haired man, who had just taken some further steps into the room and slumped down to the floor, right where Sayuri had sat before.

"Guess I didn't knock then." The ex-nuke-nin smirked slyly and scratched the back of his head, before his violet eyes switched from Sasuke to Sayuri and he added in a cheerful voice: "Ahh… look at you, sitting in the kitchen like an old couple, so how long will you keep on hiding that your relationship? I mean you're not really good at it anyway so…?"

Suigetsu grinned diabolically and shot an expectant look at Sasuke, who closed his eyes briefly and sighed in annoyance, before he answered in a calm but firm voice: "We're not a couple."

The way he said that, made it really hard to doubt the truthfulness of his statement, but it wasn't really a lie, at least they had never said they were a couple, but still hearing it that bluntly made Sayuri feel quite doleful, he was just way too convincing for her taste, however Suigetsu seemed to be of a different opinion…

"Ahh… of course you aren't… It's hard to imagine anyway – I mean you two barely ever open your mouth – so what are you doing the entire time?!" Once again his piercing violet eyes moved from one of them to the next, but none of them seemed inclined to answer his question.

After an endlessly long seeming moment of uncomfortable silence, which Sayuri had tried to bridge by turning back to the dishes, you could literally see it dawn on him and a shrewd leer appeared on his face: "Oh… hehe, so that's how it is… well – hey when your baby comes - can I name it?"

Now Sayuri was finally ripped out of her thoughts and turned with a blushed face and an appalled look in her eyes to the Houzuki and exclaimed in a slightly shaky voice: "What?! I'm not pregnant you…!"

"Oh, of course you're not…" He shrugged her off and rolled his eyes in a fairly distinctive gesture, before he carried on as if she hadn't said anything: "…so I'm thinking of something like Sa-su… - no – that doesn't work…" He scratched his head and grinned cheekily, before he raised a finger into the air, like he's just had a brilliant idea. "But what about Saju-ke or Sasu-ri?"

Sayuri still stared at him with disbelief in her big blue eyes and the wet plate she held in her hand was shaking noticeably and a small puddle had formed in front of her feet, from the water which had dropped down the edge of the plate, while Sasuke's face was as blank as usually, even though he kind of did look annoyed, too.

She couldn't believe he had actually said that… How come he was so damn sure that they had already slept with each other? Or had slept with each other right away since she was apparently heavily pregnant already… Had she missed something? Did he know something she didn't? Did Sasuke have some kind of reputation for impregnating every woman he came across? She dismissed that thought soon enough – if that should have been the case then this house should be filled with children screaming and there was no way she could have missed that… Suigetsu was probably just being a pervert with far too much imagination – it would definitely fit to him, so she shouldn't take him too seriously…

"Do I look pregnant or something?" Sayuri tried to defend herself, even though she knew that she had no reason to justify herself in front of the Houzuki and that her meek attempts of doing so probably made things only worse…

"Not yet, but we came here like… a month ago or maybe two? And these things take some time – you as a medic-nin should know that…" He crossed his arms in front of his chest and nodded to himself, seeming thoroughly convinced by every single word he uttered.

Now Sayuri didn't know what to say any longer but stared at him with a slightly opened mouth and a for a change blanched face, which didn't look any healthier than that bright red one from before, though…

"Stop teasing her already." Sasuke interfered in a firm voice and shot a disapproving look at his opposite, while Sayuri used her chance to turn around again and focussed her full attention on the dish-washing.

"If you just came to say hello, you have done so now, so…" The raven-haired man raised an eyebrow expectantly and caused the Houzuki to shake his head in consternation.

"Sheesh… grumpy aren't we?" Suigetsu grimaced slightly, before he leisurely rested his arms on the floor next to him and leaned back. "In fact now that you mention it, there's also another reason why I came here…" He tilted his head back and stared into the ceiling lamp, as if it was the sun and he wanted to get tanned.

"I came here to remind you of your promise… you gave your word to train me, remember?" He sat up straight again and shot a piercing glance at the Uchiha, who just closed his eyes briefly and nodded his head.

"Hehe… I'm glad you have a good memory… so then where will we go?" The Houzuki jumped to his feet and stretched his arms over his head, as if he had only just woken up.

"Now…?" The Uchiha asked sceptically and it was easy to tell that he wasn't really keen on Suigetsu's plan…

"Sure." The white-haired man said as if there was nothing more natural in the world.

"What better weather for training could there be?" He grinned cunningly, knowing that he had the advantages when it came to water and seeing this as his chance in finally beating the almighty Uchiha – just to push his ego a little…

Sasuke merely sighed, knowing that there was no way of talking the Houzuki out of this, even though he could think of numerous things he would prefer to training right now and sleeping ranked pretty much at the top of his list… "We'll meet in half an hour at the same grounds we trained the last time."

"Oh… I get it - you two need some alone time, huh? – but just half an hour?" Suigetsu cast an ambiguous glance at both of them, even though Sayuri still had her back turned on him and was scrubbing the very same and also last plate since at least five minutes and tensed up visibly after his last words…

"Well, guess that's your thing – see you later and bye Sayuri have a nice day!" He waved goodbye with a huge grin on his face and they could still hear him chuckle quietly after he had walked out of the door.

Even after Suigetsu was gone, Sayuri still didn't relax again, but kept staring vacantly at the wooden wall in front of her, while her hands scrubbed almost mechanically over the plate she was still holding.

Then she felt two hands at her waist and flinched in surprise until she realized it was Sasuke, who was now standing right behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder, so his cheek brushed hers and he could see what she was doing.

"Obstinate stain, huh?" He breathed into her neck and caused goose bumps to crawl over her skin and a pleasant shudder ran through her body. Her reaction caused Sasuke to smirk smugly, while he watched how she finally put the plate away and exhaled deeply.

"I'm glad he is finally gone…" She sighed and rested her still wet hands on the edge of the counter and leaned back against his chest.

"Hn." Sasuke merely nodded and placed a soft kiss in her neck, registering how she finally relaxed again.

"Can you beat him up, please? Or at least rip out his tongue or something? - Otherwise he'll probably run through the entire village and tell everyone we're having a baby…" Sayuri joked with a tired voice – Suigetsu was just like Naruto – same as the blonde he couldn't even keep his mouth shut if his life was on the line, but then unlike the Uzumaki, Suigetsu had something insidious about him… about his whole character – the at times so piercing and not to forget mischievous look in his eyes and the ever-present grin on his face – ranging from a sheepish smirk to a sly sneer… Even though he was a really funny guy, with all these equivocal remarks, he dropped just about the entire time (and the thing from before had actually been quite funny too – or would have been, if she could have watched this from a more distanced and less-involved perspective…), you often felt uncomfortable in his presence, whereas Naruto was a naïve lamb… He only said whatever ran through his head and there was rarely ever anything suggestive about this, if at all then unintentionally and he didn't even realize that himself – at least you could always tell where you stood with him, while that was quite impossible with the Houzuki, which made him at times (like now for example) a rather unpleasant person to spend your time with…

"I intend to…" The Uchiha murmured after a pensive moment of silence, and the serious tone on his voice made Sayuri think that he really did consider granting her request… So at first she was a little shocked and wanted to tell him that she hadn't meant it that way, but then she remembered Suigetsu's ability to turn his body into water, so even if Sasuke should decided to rip out several of his body parts it wouldn't really matter. Therefore that shocked expression soon gave way to a gloating grin, but then she sucked in her breath sharply, as Sasuke slid his hands under her pullover and gently pressed his fingertips into the soft skin of her stomach, while he placed soft kisses on her shoulder and the side of her neck.

She couldn't really concentrate on what his lips were doing though; her full attention was focussed on his hands that were still resting on her stomach. She really hoped that he had only placed them there by accident and that there wasn't more behind this gesture… Behind the way he was touching her in this so very familiar and intimate manner…

What was she thinking – they were far too young to have a baby… Just because she knew that he planned on restoring his clan (which was one of the more decisive factors which discomfited her right now) didn't mean he wanted to do so already… Like seriously – they were nothing… and they saw each other to rarely to work on that…

He was always doing missions and she was working in the hospital most of the time… Take now for example; she hadn't seen him in almost a week and they had barely spent two hours together and he had to leave again and before that it hadn't been too much different either… It was really not easy for them at the moment, not considering how much work they both had to do, but it was getting a bit better lately… at least for her, Sasuke still had to do all these long-term missions, but he should be given some days off soon… Maybe then they could spend some more time together, but still that didn't change anything about the fact that they weren't ready to have a baby… They weren't a couple, they were far too young, they hadn't really gotten past kissing yet, which was probably her fault… she must have really scared him off with her past refusal… at least he hadn't tried anything since that night in the Land of Birds, but it's not like there had been much of an occasion for that anyway… and quite frankly she wasn't even sorry about that… at least most of the time… mainly when he wasn't around… especially after this scene with Suigetsu, she knew that she just wasn't ready for anything like this yet… In fact she wasn't even sure if she wanted to have children at all… She just couldn't imagine being a mother… that was far too much responsibility; too much you could do wrong, a single mistake could screw up an entire life… And not only the baby's life but it would change her entire life, too… she would have to pass on doing missions and stay at home, maybe work full time in the hospital (which she already grew tired of, now that she had done so for only a couple of weeks…) – she would have to change her whole way of life and she really wasn't too keen on changes – especially not this significant ones… oh and then babies seemed to hate her… so all of this clearly spoke against that…

"I have to go now…" He murmured into her ear and removed his hands from her flat – and not round or anything – stomach but rested them on her waist then and turned her around. Her grey-blue eyes seemed clouded, as if she was only physically present, so he placed a hand under her chin and tilted her face up, forcing her back to reality.

"You can stay as long as you want to…" He peered deep into her eyes, but couldn't really read anything in them, before he kissed her goodbye after having received a comprehending, but still absentminded nod from the violet-haired girl and walked off, leaving Sayuri to her own thoughts and interpretations of what all of this has just been about…

…

…


	5. Festival part 1

**5. Festival part 1**

With a light smile on her face, a pink-haired kunoichi stood in front of the broad window in the Hokage office and gazed with a cheerful look in her pretty emerald eyes over the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

The market place was full of people, who looked like busy ants, the way they purposefully scurried over the market place, engaged in the last preparations for the great festival which was about to start this afternoon.

They had put up a huge white marquee, right in front of the Hokage tower and people were at the moment busy with carrying tables and benches into it, or with hanging strings of white and pink paper lanterns along the pavilion, the stalls and the streets…

The marquee was meant for the celebrations of Tsunade's annual, which was set for later this day… Even though it was fairly huge, it couldn't accommodate all the people there were in Konoha, which is why Tsunade would first give a speech (the one they had actually been supposed to write together), from the roof terrace, with which she would inaugurate the festivities Then, later on, they would shift the festival into the pavilion and considering how they had stocked up on Sake, it was obvious that this part of the festival was meant for the grown-ups…

However considering that it was her birthday, she and her friends were allowed to be there, too – which they would have been anyway, considering how close they were to Tsunade; it had been the same last year, it hadn't been on the day of her birthday then, but it had nevertheless been a great night – simply watching all these drunk people had been really funny…

She couldn't believe she was really 18 now – which meant the oldest in her team… If that was really so good was arguable, but she shouldn't think about that too much now – it was her day (she happened to share with someone else though) and she wouldn't give in to something like a premature midlife crisis, only because it bothered her a little that she was nearly half a year older than the others… Except for Shino, he was eighteen, too, but just because they shared the same age now, didn't really make her prone to spend any more time with him…

Her eyes wandered with a dreamy expression over the colourful scene in front of her, when she was ripped out of her day-dreaming by a voice, coming from behind her.

"Be honest – I look ridiculous right?"

Smiling to herself, Sakura turned around and scrutinized the blonde woman in front of her, who had only just re-entered her office, after having put on her official attire.

She was dressed in a plain red and white kimono, which was for the most part hidden underneath the wide, white cloak she was wearing above it and most of her face was shadowed by the Hokage hat, with the symbol of the Fire Country on it.

"Not at all… you look really… formal and important…" Sakura smirked and caused the blonde woman to raise an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Tze - I look like a lighthouse or something!" The Hokage groused and flung her hat onto a nearby chair, before she ran a hand through her for a change open hair and heaved a weary sigh.

"Just a bit – but you don't have to wear this all day, so…" The pinkette tried to encourage her noticeably stressed master, but then looked to the side, as a knock was heard before the door slowly opened.

"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune, who was wearing an indigo coloured kimono with light blue leaves on it, entered the office and a light smile appeared on her lips as her eyes fell on the blonde woman.

"Good – this saves me a lot of trouble…" The black-haired woman sighed in relief, as she had feared that she had to put up a fight to get the rather obstinate blonde to wear these clothes…

Tsunade just curled her lips like an annoyed child, knowing exactly what her assistant was driving at and observed the other woman with a disapproving look in her eyes…

"I'm really glad that at least someone is able to wear something that doesn't look like an architectural construction…" She pouted and looked out of the window while she folded her arms in front of her chest and blew a strand of her blonde hair out of her face, somewhat looking like an angry little girl.

"Huh?" Shizune cocked her head to the side and regarded her master with a questioning look in her dark eyes, really not getting what she meant.

"What about you Sakura?" The blonde turned to the pink-haired girl, who stood with her back to the window, before she added in a dry voice: "Don't you wanna put on something fancy, too, so I'll look even more stupid next to you?"

"You don't look stupid, Tsunade-sama!" Shizune exclaimed, apparently really meaning what she said. "These are the official clothes of the Hokage – you should wear them with pride."

"Yeah right…" Tsunade rolled her eyes, before she walked to the window, still with her arms crossed in front of her chest and looked at the great place, which was beginning to get crowded, even though she still had nearly an hour before she would give her speech.

They hadn't really chosen the best place for that huge tent, it took away quite a lot of space and people had to gather around it, if they wanted to catch a glimpse at the roof terrace… but nowhere else would have been enough room for it, so maybe they should have relocated the spot from where she was supposed to give her speech instead…

"I guess I should get dressed then…" Sakura murmured and took a few steps forward, before she came to a halt and added: "Or do you still need me for anything?"

"No, go get ready – you should enjoy yourself on your birthday…" Tsunade told her in a calm voice and a familiar smile rose on her lips, while Shizune also nodded in assent.

"Then see you later…" The pinkette grinned and walked out of the office, with a beaming smile on her face.

…

…

A torrent of loud and harried clamour filled a small, untidy apartment in the centre of Konoha. Various pieces of clothing flew through the air and landed on everything they came across and at this rate it wouldn't take long until the entire room would drown in a sea of colourful fabrics; however a jubilant outcry set an end to the havoc wreaking storm, which seemed to have raged through the entire room, but the damage done was impossible to overlook…

Naruto, who had only just emptied his entire wardrobe, in the desperate search for the kimono, he had been given by Iruka a couple of years ago, finally found the desired item and sighed in relief, as he had been almost sure that he must have misplaced it somewhere… It had belonged to Iruka, when he was younger, but as he no longer fitted into it, he had given it to him, for occasions such as this…

Actually he felt a little stupid when wearing it… it wasn't really his colour and it looked really dull – there was just nothing special about it… however it was just the thing almost everyone wore at these kinds of festivals and that made this whole event seem a bit like a masquerade – as if the whole village was thrown back in time, so it was probably okay… even though it could still need a makeover, but this is what he thought each and every year, but then he'd always remember the happy smile on Iruka's face whenever he saw him in this attire and then also the story he had told him, about how it had belonged to his grandfather and so on… therefore he left it in its original state and made sure it would remain in sound condition…

With the kimono in his hands, Naruto stalked through the piles of clothes on the ground and everywhere else, too and he wondered for a moment how they had ever fitted into his wardrobe and since when he possessed this many clothes anyway…

Shrugging, he stepped in front of his bedroom mirror and held the outfit to his body, while a light frown appeared on his forehead. It was very plain and had this really boring light-brown colour – with a bit of imagination and the right light you could even think it was orange, or at least he told himself so…

Still looking a little unhappy, Naruto averted his eyes from his reflection and came upon his clock by accident and now a shocked expression appeared on his face.

He was supposed to meet the others in front of the academy in merely 10 minutes and he was not even dressed, yet!

With a rushed look on his face, he struggled out of his clothes and into his kimono, however while doing so, one of his feet got tangled up in a pullover or something and he fell right onto his back, while an ominous ripping sounded through the room.

With his mouth agape in a soundless scream, Naruto lay on the ground, almost like a turned over turtle and he didn't dare to stand up, afraid of what he would find then…

Another glance at the clock told him he had no time to lose though, so he forced himself to overcome his fear and slowly rose to his feet, before casting a hesitant look at his backside.

There it was – a long, nasty tear reaching down his entire back – so much to making sure it would remain in sound condition… He couldn't go out like this… among all these people… but he didn't have anything else to wear and just five minutes left…

Feeling a slight tinge of desperation mixed up with time pressure swell up inside him, Naruto let his widened blue eyes roam over the chaos, which dominated his bedroom, until his attention was drawn to a black piece of cloth with a bit of orange at its sides.

With a relieved smile on his face Naruto reached out to the garment and picked up a thick black cloak, with bright orange flames at its sleeves and the bottom – the very cloak he hadn't been allowed to wear during their mission in Yuki-Gakure… This time it wasn't about being inconspicuous and this cloak was just perfect for getting the 'boring' out of his attire, without changing anything about the kimono itself – and besides it also covered up that really unfavourable rip…

With new found enthusiasm, the Uzumaki threw the cloak over his shoulder, before he rushed out of his apartment. Luckily the academy wasn't too far away from his house – which still hadn't kept him from coming too late nearly everyday, he's still had to go there – and the way over the roofs saved him a lot of time, so roughly two minutes later, he stood in front of the main entrance – dead on time – and yet no one else was there…

He looked a little lost, the way he stood there and turned his head into all directions, while numerous people, dressed up in traditional japanese clothes of various different colours and patterns crossed his path, all on their way to the market place, where the Hokage was supposed to give her speech in about fifteen minutes…

"Damn it… where is everybody?" He asked himself and began tapping his foot impatiently, while his face twisted into a pout.

"Naruto-kun!" He heard someone call his name and as he turned around he saw Sakura, who was pushing herself through the crowd of people and scrutinized him with a weird look on her face.

"Don't tell me you really plan on running around in this _thing_…!" The pinkette frowned at his cloak, she still didn't like any more than she did back then… However Naruto barely noticed her open criticism, since he was entirely stunned by her appearance. She was dressed in a pale pink yukata with tiny magenta flowers which ran around the collar and scattered from there over the rest of her attire and she had a likewise magenta coloured obi tied around her waist with a large neat bow at her back.

"Sakura-chan!" He looked at his team-mate and couldn't help but to think of candy, because of the various shades of pink Sakura was dressed in, and which would have probably looked pretty ridiculous at any other person, but the Haruno knew how to carry herself, so that it didn't look overdone… Once he was able to stop gaping at her, which she had registered with a flattered beam on her face, she felt reluctant to show though and tried really hard to force back, Naruto recalled that it was her birthday and took it as his chance to act…

"Happy birthday, Sakura-chan!" He exclaimed loudly, before he slung his arms around her, deciding to take the risk even though he had a healthy respect of her inhuman strength and more importantly her hot temper…

After a couple of seconds, which was all he dared, he let go of her again and from the look on Sakura's face, right in time… She just wanted to say something, when to his luck, someone demanded their attention and when they turned around they saw Ino, with her hands hidden behind her back walk towards them.

She came to a halt still a few steps away from them and the former smile slowly faded from her face and a shocked expression took its place as she stared at the Haruno.

Naruto frowned at her, not knowing what to make of her behaviour and with a questioning look in his eyes he turned to Sakura, only to realize that she looked about the same way as the Yamanaka did, too.

"What…?" He asked and knitted his brows, completely unaware of the fact, that the two girls were wearing the very same clothes, only in different colours and had only just realized so and weren't too happy about it…

"Oh… look at you… ehe… great taste…" Ino smirked kind of artificially and finally covered the distance to them.

"Wow… ehm… you, too…" Sakura closed her eyes and smiled awkwardly, before she looked at the violet bow around Ino's waist, she had knotted like a flower and couldn't help but to feel impressed and also slightly intimidated by the blonde's appearance.

"Wish you all the best, birthday girl." Ino smiled before she pulled out a bouquet of big, bright pink flowers, she had been hiding behind her back and presented them to the Haruno.

"Here – these are peonies; they symbolize good fortune – especially in love, so I figured you could need quite a lot of them…" A bitter-sweet smile rose on Ino's lips, as she savoured the disbelieving grimace with which Sakura stared at her present, trying to look happy about it, before she started chuckling lightly and added: "Don't worry, that's not everything – you'll get the rest later, so where are the others?"

"Don't know, they're definitely late…" Sakura murmured and looked up and down the streets, even though her vision was limited to about five metres, because of the masses of people, who were passing them.

"It's pretty hard to get ahead with all these people… Maybe we should get going already… otherwise we'll miss everything…" The blonde woman proposed, while she adjusted the elaborate knot around her waist and then turned her azure blue eyes at the two people in front of her, who nodded eventually, after having made sure that none of their friend's was anywhere close by, at least as far as they could tell…

They could only move at a snail's pace, which meant that the usually five minutes of way, stretched into nearly twenty – all the more time in which the two girls had to listen to Naruto's impatient grousing and cursing…

When they finally reached their destination, or at least a spot pretty close to it, Tsunade was already in the middle of her speech and they were so far away that they could barely hear a word of what she said and then there was also this huge tent in the way, so they couldn't even see her.

"Damn – what did she say?!" Naruto rose up on his toes, to peer over the crowd, but he seemed to be surrounded by people, all of whom were at least an entire head taller than he was… He cupped a hand around his ear and leaned further forwards, but then lost his balance and bumped against the man in front of him, who turned around with a sourly expression on his face.

"Ebisu-sensei!" Naruto exclaimed in a surprised tone, as he recognized the sunglasses-wearing man, who didn't look too happy about seeing the blonde though…

"Ah… Naruto…" He murmured hesitantly and moved his eyes from side to side, as if he was searching for a reason to get away from here.

"Hehe – nice combination – the sunglasses and the samurai-robe… you look almost like the superhero in one of these comics that no one ever reads… you know which one I mean?" The Uzumaki asked, while he stared into the air, as if it would help him remembering.

"No." Ebisu stated firmly, before he looked over the crowd and waved at someone to his right. "Oh… I've just seen – well… have fun here…" He came up with this so obviously phony excuse, before he rushed off, as far away from the blonde, with whom he shared quite some unpleasant memories, as possible.

"Can't we get any closer?" Ino asked, as unsuccessful in trying to peek over the people in front of her as Naruto.

"I've seen the speech…" Sakura said and tried to recall its contents with a concentrated expression on her face, before she lifted her arm to shield the flowers she was still holding, as there wa some backward motion in the crowd.

"It's mainly about thanking the people for having made her Hokage, mourning about the past losses but reminding the people to focus on the future… uhm, yes and then there was also something about how the village has never had stronger alliances to the other nations than it has now and then it ends with her opening the festival and all the stalls and shops…" Sakura finished and as if by command, deafening cheers rose from the crowd and people started clapping and whistling and not to forget laughing. Even though they hadn't understood what Tsunade had just said, they joined in on all the cheering and Naruto even managed to drown out most of the others.

After a couple of minutes the crowd began to scatter and people started taking on the various different stalls that had been put up throughout the western part of Konoha.

"Finally…" They heard a voice from behind them and as they turned around they found a fairly stressed looking Sayuri, who was just trying to push herself past a group of people which blocked her way to them.

"You missed everything." Naruto informed her and watched how the violet-haired girl grimaced wryly.

"I would have never thought it would take so long to get here…" She sighed, before she pulled herself together and turned to the pinkette.

"Happy Birthday, Sakura." She smiled at her, before her eyes fell on the huge flower bouquet in her hands.

"How nice you look…" Ino eyed her from head to toe, really conspicuously and earned a surprised smile from the young kunoichi, who was dressed in an off-white yukata, with black floral tendrils winding up from the right bottom and a violet obi, underneath which was a crimson red obiage she had tucked into her collar.

"Thank you…" She beamed at her, but didn't say anything about their clothes, because unlike Naruto she hadn't missed that they were wearing the very same thing, just that Ino's outfit was mauve coloured with a violet obi and flowers, whereas Sakura's featured various shades of pink… and she was afraid that mentioning this might dampen the mood…

"Where is the rest?" She looked around with a startled expression, but the people in front of her just shrugged simultaneously.

"They'll show up sooner or later… Let's go get something to eat then!" Naruto proposed in an enthusiastic voice; however his suggestion didn't receive the reaction he had hoped for…

"Are you kidding – you can eat just about everyday – let's go play some games!" Ino exclaimed and shot a challenging look at the Uzumaki, who evaded her eyes after a couple of seconds and looked at Sakura.

"It's your birthday – you decide!" He said with a pleading expression on his face, which caused a light smile to appear on Sakura's lips.

"Well then… Let's play some games." She grinned sardonically and started chuckling as she saw how Naruto lowered his head in defeat…

"Phew…" The Uzumaki sighed dejectedly and trotted after the laughing girls who took off just then.

…

…

About two hours later, their party had grown a bit – they had found Kiba, Shikamaru and Choji in the course of time, so now the boys were finally superior in number, which Naruto had used to incite a lot of votes about what to do next, which had mostly ended up the way he had wanted them to…

Their seven person group walked through the at least a little bit emptier streets, with Kiba and Ino in the front, who were engaged in a lively conversation and seemed to be completely oblivious of the rest of them, whereas Sakura formed the back of their group. She was hidden underneath a huge pile of plush toys and flowers – all the prices they had won at the different stalls and had kindly given to her, as it was her birthday and now she had to carry them all with her – as if Ino's huge flower bouquet hadn't been enough already…

They had nearly passed through the whole festival area, when they saw a cluster of people, standing around a small stage, on which no one else but Jiraiya was standing, holding a small orange book in his hand.

With a surprised look on his face Naruto jumped up and waved his hands in the air to catch Jiraiya's attention, however he didn't even look into his direction a single time, but carried on talking and joking and pretty much making a fool of himself…

"Yo, Ero-sennin!" Naruto yelled, but his voice barely made it over the surrounding laughter and clapping of the people.

"Hey!" He tried it again, but still no reaction, so he turned to his friends and asked: "What is he doing there – and why didn't he tell me about it?!"

"Don't tell me you really fall for that…" He heard Kiba, who finally seemed to have averted his attention from the Yamanaka and now looked with a haughty grin at the only Genin in their group.

"Fall for what…?" Naruto raised an eyebrow and looked with a confused face at the brown-haired man, until he heard an annoyed sigh coming from Shikamaru and thus turned to him.

"That's not Jiraiya…" The Nara rolled his eyes, but Naruto's expression told him that he still didn't know what he was talking about so he shook his head in annoyance, before he nodded towards the stage.

"Look." He advised the Uzumaki, who then turned around and in that very second, the Sannin was surrounded by a puff of smoke and once it faded, Jiraiya was gone and instead of him there was now Teuchi on stage, who started grousing about tip-stingy costumers…

"Eh?" Naruto cocked his head to the side and stared at the scene in front of him with a startled expression, until Kiba, who still couldn't believe the blonde didn't get it, clasped a hand to his forehead and explained: "That's a comedian – he's trying to be funny by imitating other people…"

"…"

"… Oh…" Finally the penny dropped and now Naruto wasn't too interested in watching the scene on stage any longer, but turned his head from side to side, in search for anything else to do, when his eyes fell on a small shooting gallery, where you had to throw darts at balloons to win a prize.

"How about it Kiba? The one who first hits ten balloons wins!" Naruto proposed with a cheeky grin on his face, while he nodded towards the stall to their left, to show Kiba what he was talking about.

"As if you'd stand a chance…" Kiba sneered haughtily and a split-second later the two young men were on their way to the stall, while throwing boastful remarks at each other.

Once the others had closed up to them as well, they didn't find them engaged in a fierce competition, though, but staring with disappointed faces at the '_no-ninja-allowed_' sign…

"That's so unfair." Naruto groused and Kiba snorted in affirmation, which nearly sounded like a bark…

"How about you compare your skills over there." Ino nodded towards the rather empty stall next to them and received some disbelieving sounds in response.

"Ikebana…?!" The blonde Genin grimaced, but pulled himself together again as he saw the angry expression on Ino's features.

"Yes, Ikebana – or are you not man enough to show that you also have a feminine side…?" Ino hissed, with her hands on her hips and cast a challenging look at the two men in front of her.

"What _feminine-side_? I'm a manly man!" Naruto shrieked in a high voice, which didn't really fit to the contents of his statement and then nodded at Kiba, as if he searched for support, however the Inuzuka turned out to be a traitor.

"If you wimp out that means I win, right?" The brown-haired man smirked and received a killer look from the blonde while he mumbled under his breath: _"You just do that to impress her…"_

Kiba didn't show if he had heard him or not, though but led the way to the flower stall.

Five minutes later the were still at it – with the intent expression on their faces and the sweat running down their foreheads (at least Naruto's and he blamed it on the coat) you could think that they were doing something physically exertive and the girls had a lot of fun with watching them, whereas Shikamaru and Choji seemed to feel embarrassed for their friends, who brought shame upon the male race…

"Finished!" Naruto screamed suddenly and presented his flower arrangement with a wide grin on his face, while Kiba shot a rushed look into his direction and was a few seconds later done as well and at once started laughing about Naruto's result.

"Dude – that looks like a clown exploded over it!" Kiba chuckled spitefully as he regarded Naruto's admittedly a little too colourful outcome.

"At least it doesn't look like a dried bird-nest." Naruto countered, before he turned to the others and asked: "So? Who won?"

"…"

An awkward silence followed his words, because no one really felt like telling them that they were both horrible, however Sakura seemed to have come up with the saving idea.

"Uhm… look the sun is already setting… we should go to the tent or else we won't get any seats…" The pinkette proposed sheepishly and was at once supported by all the others, while Naruto and Kiba cast some slightly dumbfounded looks at them and started protesting as they just walked off…

…

…

Half an hour later, they entered the huge marquee, which was already full of people, even though it was still relatively early, so it was really good they had decided to come here already.

After screaming some instructions at each other, because all the chatting people and then also the background music made it impossible to understand one another at a normal volume, their relatively small group made it to a table pretty far at the back, which was one of the few still empty ones. They sat down on the two benches, leaving quite some space to each other, so it looked as if the table was already full (even though they weren't too successful at it, because the table was pretty long) and no one would get the idea to sit down next to them – just on the off-chance that their friends would quit being lost and show up here…

"Phew there you are… finally someone normal…" They heard a female voice and as they turned around they saw the fifth Hokage walk up to their table.

"Tsunade-sama!" Sakura nearly jumped up from her seat, but the blonde woman waved a hand at her and caused her to sit down again, before she asked: "Are you having a nice birthday?"

"Uh-huh." The pinkette nodded with a beaming smile on her face and started retelling her day so far; however the Godaime seemed a little distracted, as her honey-gold eyes were moving through the room the entire time and once Sakura had finished her elucidations, the Hokage nodded her head at a waitress, who hence came to their table and placed a bottle of Sake in front of her.

"Let's drink to your health." She said to the birthday girl and the waitress began placing eight pale brown cups on their table, which she filled to the brim under Tsunade's watchful eyes.

"_She just needs an excuse to get drunk, right_?" Naruto whispered to Shikamaru; however that one just emitted a cynical snort and replied in an equally shushed voice: "_Uh-huh… and we're not her first excuse this day…_"

As if to affirm what he had just said, Tsunade started laughing loudly and distributed the cups among their group and once everyone had one, even though they didn't look as enthusiastic about it as she did, she raised her cup and exclaimed: "Here's to Sakura!"

Right after her words, she already drained her Sake, without waiting for the others to repeat her toast, as was usual. However while she knocked her cup back onto the table and exhaled with relish, the people around her looked as if they were tempted to spit out the sharp-tasting liquor, which set their throats on fire, even though they tried best to hide that…

"Phew… guess I gotta go then… have a nice time…" Tsunade sighed and waved goodbye, before she went back to the elderly people, who had already gathered around the table she was supposed to be sitting at and waited to express their congratulations to her.

The alcohol seemed to have a tongue-loosening effect on the whole group; once the Godaime was gone, various animated conversation arose at their table: Kiba and Naruto went back to their testosterone-oozed macho talk (which forfeited a bit of its credibility though, as it was still centred around flower bouquets…), while Ino and Sakura were engaged in a wild discussion, about many different things, but mainly the people passing them and especially their appearance… Once they started making up lists about who was wearing the prettiest clothes and who the worst and then also about the whole package, Shikamaru couldn't stand listening to them any longer, however Naruto's and Kiba's boastful talking was hardly any better, so he started talking to Choji about how bothersome all the shallow talk at such festivals was. However the Akimichi seemed to be only half-listening – admittedly his head was moving at times in agree- or disagreement, but his eyes were trailing the numerous waiters or waitresses, or more precisely, the various delicacies and dainties on the plates they were carrying.

Sayuri had switched her attention from one group to the next and had picked up a bit of everything, but not enough to participate in any of the conversations – not that she really felt like it anyway, they were all happy with their little groups, once someone else came across, asking for involvement, they'd have to change something about their topic or just their way of talking and the harmony would be broken and she didn't want to be that someone… something like a disruptive element…

Her grey-blue eyes roamed over the interior of the huge party tent, which almost looked small again, full as it was… They had put up three lines of simple rectangular wood tables with benches at the longer sides of each. She had some time, so she even counted them: there were five tables in every line and depending on how close people sat to each other and then also their body height or rather girth, about fourteen people could sit at each table, which meant 210 on a whole, so really many…

The only light came from the numerous white and pink lampions, which covered the entire ceiling and the edges of the tent-walls and then also from the candles on the tables, which had been put in stained glass jars so they threw colourful patterns of light onto the plain wooden tables.

She directed her gaze at the animate jam of wildly moving feet on the dance floor that seemed to be disconnected from any owner, just colourful pieces of cloth and various types of shoes engaged in an uncoordinated frisk. The smoke, the flickering light, the deafening thud-thud of the speakers, the roaring laughter, intimate conversations screamed over other people's heads for better understanding - all this added to the surreal atmosphere this picture emitted and she caught herself getting hypnotized by the, on second sight indeed rhythmical movement of the cut-off limbs, along with the persistent hammering of the bass, which made her ears throb along with every beat the obnoxious music dictated.

She tore her eyes from that scene again, before all the movement would lull her into sleep and fixed them on the differently shaped and coloured spots of light, which moved over the wooden surface along with the flickering of the flames, while the voices surrounding her and then also the music blended together and seemed impossible to distinguish any longer. The people passing seemed blurred, as if they were moving too fast for the human eye to see and yet they didn't seem to move at all – like trying to take a picture of something in motion – a failed reproduction of movement.

Something had to be wrong with her… Here she was at a great festival, surrounded by her friends, music and cheerful people in general and all she did was staring at some tricks of light. Maybe it was the alcohol… it hadn't been too much – just a relatively small, but for her taste far too big cup – after all it had been nearly as big as her coffee mug or at least it felt that way too her… She wasn't used to drinking, so maybe that not exactly small amount of Sake had been enough already… Maybe she was a second Lee – with the only difference that the alcohol made her sleepy and not hyperactive and clumsy (well she didn't really know about the clumsy – up to now she hadn't done enough to test that). She didn't really feel drunk - at least not from how far she could tell; but she did feel kind of drowsy and she still had that sharp and somewhat bitter taste in her mouth and that really didn't make things better…

"You're here already – thanks for letting us know…" Neji had only just entered the tent and walked up to their table. He was dressed in a really traditional kimono in black and grey and it made him look nearly ten years older than he was, but still very formal and somewhat imposing, it definitely suited him …

"Happy birthday, Sakura-chan…" They heard a softer voice and a second later Hinata stepped out of the shadows of her cousin and looked sheepishly, with her hands folded in front of her, at the people sitting around the table.

The blue-haired girl really looked stunning – it seemed as if everyone shared that opinion, at least that's what their looks told you… Open admiration from the boys and hidden envy from the girls…

The Hyuga was wearing a very formal apricot-coloured kimono, with pale yellow sunflowers and mint-green leaves and tendrils on it, however they were so faint that they seemed to fuse with the orange cloth and then she had a coral obi around her waist with a neat bow at the back. She wore many different yellow and orange flowers in her hair, which she had pinned up in a bun and she held a small paper fan in her folded hands – she really did look like a princess from some bygone era.

"Finally you came - take a seat!" Naruto incited them and moved a bit to the side, as did the rest too and Neji sat down at the edge of the table, right next to Sayuri, while Hinata shot some sheepish looks at Naruto, who was pretty much gaping at her, which caused her to blush lightly, before she seated herself next to Sakura, on the same side of the table as Naruto, which meant that she couldn't really see him with the people between them, but at least she was almost close to him.

"Hey." Sayuri looked up, as Neji sat down beside her and smiled at him.

"Sorry we didn't make it earlier…" He muttered and looked at her with a weird expression and parted his lips a little, as if he wanted to say something else but then didn't…

"Oh, nevermind… you're not the only one…" She explained and let her eyes roam over the half empty table.

"Hmm…" Neji nodded and kept staring at her, making her feel a little uneasy, but then her attention was drawn to Naruto, who had only just ordered another bottle of Sake, for who knows what reason…

"You didn't drink to Sakura's health yet, so c'mon." He addressed the two Hyugas but distributed the cups, under quite some disapproving eyes, among everyone.

"Not for me…" Sayuri placed a hand above her cup as he only just wanted to fill it and received a huge frown from the Uzumaki, who still didn't move the bottle away.

"It is very impolite to refuse a toast…" Neji regarded her with a raised eyebrow, and caused Sayuri to take her hand away with a reluctant grimace on her face.

"There you go!" Naruto grinned and kept on filling the other cups, among his equally reluctant peers, especially Hinata seemed entirely averse to drinking, but then it was Naruto who filled her glass and she couldn't possibly bring up the courage to say '_no'_ to him, or say something at all…

"To Sakura!" He called out and looked at the pinkette, who seemed to enjoy all the attention she was getting.

"To Sakura!" The others repeated and drained their glasses and this time it wasn't as bad as with the first one, at least…

They kept chatting and drinking and making non-funny jokes, but laughing about them anyway, for quite some time, until Naruto jumped up from the bench and started waving wildly.

"Yo, Sasuke-teme – over here!" The Uzumaki yelled and bounced up and down like a rubber ball, as if there was any chance he could be overlooked if he wouldn't do so…

The Uchiha and the rest of his team had only just entered the tent and now looked into their direction, but kept standing where they were. Suigetsu wore a sly grin on his face, apparently amused about the nice nickname the blonde had used for the Uchiha-heir, or more importantly the fact that he apparently reacted to it…

"Over here!" Naruto kept on waving and pointed at the empty seats at their table.

With somewhat unenthusiastic frowns on their faces, the four people walked up to them and joined them at the table after some rather cold greetings. They were all dressed in semi-formal clothes – as if they hadn't wanted to put them on at all, or maybe they just didn't have anything – after all they weren't really that long in Konoha yet and probably hadn't known they might need something like this… Sasuke was dressed in a simple black pullover with a dark blue haori above it, with a tiny Uchiha-crest on either side of his chest and his neck, too, while the others had put on simple kimonos without any patterns or crests on them – the only thing that was special about Karin's was that it didn't even reach down to her knees, but was otherwise very high cut.

Sakura tensed up at once, as Sasuke sat down nearly next to her, there was just Hinata between them and she was rather inconspicuous, so he was practically her table-neighbour and even though she secretly hoped for it, she didn't get any birthday greetings from the newcomers…

Sayuri smiled lightly as she caught sight of the Uchiha – so he hadn't been able to skip this whole thing after all, just as she had predicted – and he really didn't look too happy about it.

Not everyone seemed to be keen on the appearance of the four ex-nuke-nins, though… Especially Neji shot some rather disapproving looks at them, but Naruto didn't seem to notice any of that. He was leaning over the people next to him, so he was pretty much lying on the table – which means fairly close to a fairly red Hinata – and started chatting with his former team-mate and judging from all the slips of the tongue he integrated into his speech, he must have had a bit too much to drink already.

Sayuri watched how he made a fool of himself, while Karin turned to a waiter and ordered the same he's had, when Neji called her attention to himself.

"What about Sakura's present?" He muttered under his breath, mindful that the pink-haired girl wouldn't hear him.

"We're still missing some people so we'll wait a bit longer…" She turned to the Hyuga and watched him nod in comprehension, before he took the Sake bottle in front of him and murmured: "Have another drink."

"Are you kidding? I'd actually like to remember this night… I think…" She explained, but Neji didn't seem to mind and filled her cup anyway.

"There." He passed it to the medic-nin, completely ignoring the uneasy expression on her face and clinked his cup against hers, before he emptied it in one go, while Sayuri merely sipped at hers out of courtesy…

Her face and not to forget her throat already felt as if they were on fire and other than most of the rest she didn't seem to get more cheerful and talkative but rather tired and dazed…

Neji kept on talking to her; the words seemed to flood out of his mouth, which was so very unlike him, but Sayuri didn't pick up too much of it, even though she really struggled to listen to him… She should have definitely eaten more… maybe then her head wouldn't feel as if it was burning and spinning… at least she could still think straight… kind of – if you disregarded that spinning part… but if Neji would keep on pushing drinks towards her, this wouldn't last much longer…

She did her best in looking interested and she was sure that she was pretty good at it, especially since Neji didn't seem too attentive anyway – it was just something about his eyes… like they were glazed over with the alcohol he'd consumed, so he didn't really seem to be looking at her, and most likely didn't even notice how her attention always trailed off, as if some of his words triggered a free ride into dream-land…

Her blue eyes roamed across the people on the other side of the table until they came to Suigetsu, who winked at her with a mischievous grin on his face and in the next second, he leaned over to Sasuke and whispered something to him, all the time keeping his eyes fixed on Sayuri, who couldn't help but to frown about his action.

She could imagine what he had just told him, or at least she was sure that it was something like: "_Look your girlfriend is flirting with someone else_…" – Ever since he had seen them, he was getting all worked up about this entire thing and made some stupid allusions and remarks whenever he could.

However to his apparent disappointment, Sasuke didn't react to whatever he had just said, but kept staring at the drink in his hand, until Suigetsu's interest faded and he turned towards Karin to take on his favourite occupation, which would be driving her up the wall.

After a couple of seconds Sasuke's jet black eyes moved into her direction, though and she didn't really know why, but she felt somehow caught and turned her head away – somehow ashamed that he had seen how she had stared at him - and focussed her attention back at Neji again, as if she meant to show off how involved she was in all this…

Another thing she didn't understand, but she didn't want him to think she was kind of an outcast, even though she felt a bit like that at the moment…

There was all this buzz and the noise and the voices and the people and then all the laughter… people were enjoying themselves – everyone seemed to be doing something to have a good time and she couldn't even get herself to stay focussed enough to listen to the person next to her, not to speak of kindling a conversation by herself – and this passivity drove her crazy, but it didn't seem as if she could do anything about that… It felt as if she only played a secondary role in her own life and all her attempts to change something about that were refused by the screenwriter… She wondered if everybody's life was like that, but a single look across the table convinced her of the opposite and even though she was surrounded by people, she somehow felt terribly alone now…

Like really… if she got up now under some silly pretence and went home, how long would it take for them to notice her absence? If they would notice it at all…

That's how involved she was in all this – if Neji hadn't shown up here, she'd probably still be busy with staring at the candle…

That was probably a little unfair – it's not like they didn't care about her… She was pretty close to Naruto and Neji and used to be close to Sakura too and then there was also Sasuke… however her relationship to the others was rather platonic – she knew them, she got along with them and, well, that was basically it… And it's not like she had ever been unhappy about that – she spent time with the people she wanted to do so with, talked to whomever she liked to and until recently she has never even been in trouble with anyone, but that wasn't something she could pride herself with any longer…

Until recently everything had been just fine, so how come she bothered about such things now? She was neither particularly popular nor was she disliked – so how come she was trying to make it look different now? That was totally ridiculous, after all Sasuke knew her since years so there was really no reason for her to pretend to be someone she was not and it's not like he cared anyway… He didn't really make a secret of his _disinterest_ in other people… So when was it that _she_ had started to care about her public image? And why did she try to make him think she was a different – a better person than she actually was, even though she knew that she couldn't fool him anyway? She blamed it on the alcohol… it was getting her all confused and thoughtful, which was a pretty bad combination right now… it just had to be the alcohol…

…

…


	6. Festival part 2

**6. Festival part 2**

In the course of the night, Sayuri's head became a bit clearer, while it seemed to be the opposite with the others, who had increased a little in number by now – Lee and Tenten had joined them and Kakashi, Iruka and Jiraiya had shown up now and then, as well. And they had finally given Sakura her present: they had all bought some things ranging from funny ones to meaning- and useful ones and had put them into one huge, completely pink gift basket – not really the most creative idea, but the Haruno seemed to have liked it (at least most of the things) and then Tsunade had also organised a huge cake, which was probably why Sayuri felt better now… she had eaten so much of the really delicious raspberry white-chocolate cake, that she had only just evaded a sugar shock, but now she was at least wide awake again…

She was mostly talking with Hinata now - mostly, because she wasn't really the born entertainer… The Hyuga had moved to the place right in front of her, which was now only one person away from Naruto, while her cousin had receded into some trance-like state and was mainly staring at the cup in his hand – as if they had changed roles…

It had gotten really crowded in the tent now and there were some new people sitting at their table (probably attracted by the cake…), while some of the people who had actually been supposed to be here had vanished to somewhere else …

Tsunade had only just given her second speech, which hadn't even been half as long as the one before and wasn't even nearly as official and formal as that one - or maybe it had been supposed to be the same, but she hadn't quite managed it… It's not like anyone would have noticed though; the alcohol flowed freely and the noise level increased considerably as some drunkards began bawling lyric-less songs and a lot of people were dancing, even though the music was for the most part drowned out by the constant babel of voices.

Naruto and Suigetsu had developed some weird kind of friendship which turned into a profound aversion about every five minutes – one second they were singing songs together and joking around and were simply busy with being loud, whereas a moment later they started fighting and ranting and boasting and still being loud… They were really alike each other - too alike to get along for long, but they were definitely fun to watch…

Hinata seemed to be totally into this whole thing. She was like Naruto's personal fan-club, just that she tried not to show it and even when she did, it was just so inconspicuous and quiet that the blonde didn't notice so…

Sayuri watched the blue-haired girl with a light smile on her face; just the way she clung to Naruto's every word and shot impressed and adoring looks at him – it was just so obvious how much she liked the blonde and yet he didn't seem to notice it…

Regardless of how much she enjoyed watching the scene in front of her, her eyes always trailed off to the other end of the table, to where Sasuke was sitting… Karin seemed to have gotten really drunk by now, or maybe she only pretended to be drunk, but Sayuri opted for the former or maybe a mixture of both… She always had a full cup of Sake in front of her or in her hand and she made sure that Sasuke's cup was always full too, as if she tried to get him drunk, as well…

The more time passed and the more bottles of Sake vanished, the closer she moved to the Uchiha - at this rate she'd probably sit on his lap in ten to fifteen minutes… The redhead was all flushed and had rested an elbow on the table with her head resting in her palm, as if she was all interested in what Sasuke had to say, even though his mouth remained firmly shut about ninety-nine percent of the time…

Sayuri turned her attention back to Naruto and Suigetsu again, who had again reached one of their best-friends-phases and were only just clinking their glasses and drained them then – however if you looked closely, you could see that Suigetsu didn't drink anything and as he noticed Sayuri's look he just winked and grinned mischievously…

A high giggling was heard and as Sayuri turned her head to the source of it, she could see that Karin had now leaned back and had wrapped her arms around Sasuke's, while she buried her face in his shoulder – as if he had said something unbearably funny – and kept on snickering… Sasuke looked down at her as if he didn't know what to make of her behaviour, but he didn't do anything about it either and he didn't have one of his irritated expressions on his face either, at least as far as she could tell in this dim light, and something about that scene bothered Sayuri and she didn't seem to be the only one who felt that way… Sakura looked like she was fighting to maintain her self-control and tried her best in looking away form them, but she didn't really manage… Maybe Sakura would direct her dislike at Karin now, which still wouldn't change anything about the fact that she was the one who deserved it…

The smile vanished from Sayuri's face and she turned her head back to the front and stared at the table, until she looked up and noticed that Suigetsu's blunt violet eyes were boring into hers and he again had this ominous sneer on his face, she had really come to hate lately…

"You in Konoha really know how to celebrate… Such an exuberant mood – it's easy to get carried away, right?" He grinned ambiguously, but received only a puzzled frown in return, so he carried on with a really intent and mischievous look on his face: "And there are so many people, it's almost intimate again… and it's easy to lose track of what is going on, don't you agree, Sayuri?"

She only narrowed her eyes and realized that now Neji's and Naruto's gazes were focussed on her too, looking even more puzzled than she did, however Suigetsu wasn't done yet.

"Is that Sake in front of you there?" The Houzuki nodded at the cup in front of her, which was empty since at least two hours now, before he carried on: "Alcohol isn't good for you… Does _he_ know what you're doing? I bet he wouldn't be pleased with it… After all we're talking about _your_ future here…"

"Just what are you talking about?!" Naruto frowned at the white-haired man with a confused look on his face: "This is a party – everyone is drinking, it's really nothing special…"

"So you don't know it?" Suigetsu sneered and again observed the girl in front of him with a piercing gaze. Sayuri looked as if she was about to faint – her face was drained of all colour and she looked utterly horrified. She couldn't believe he started that again, now with all these people around… She had to stop him, but she couldn't think of any way to do so without raising suspicion – well quite frankly she couldn't think of a way in general – she really wished that Sasuke had really ripped out his tongue back then, it would have made things so much easier…

"Alcohol is really bad… it kills your brain cells and slows down your reaction time – it's really nothing for a ninja…" He grinned and Sayuri heaved a relieved sigh internally, but still had her heart in her mouth.

"Hey – but you drank yourself!" Naruto jumped up and pointed at the Houzuki.

"Did I really?" He raised an eyebrow and chuckled to himself, while Naruto didn't know what to make of his behaviour.

"What I'm driving at…" Suigetsu emphasized the first syllables to draw Sayuri's attention back to him, before he carried on in a pressing voice: "There are various reasons not to drink… most importantly, you might miss some things…"

His eyes switched to Karin and Sasuke, who still sat very close to each other and the grin on his face grew wider, but Sayuri refused to give him the satisfaction of following the direction of his gaze.

"You're really odd, you know…" Naruto stared at him with a raised eyebrow, but Suigetsu just chuckled and shook his head. "And that coming from you of all people…"

Now Suigetsu and Naruto started chatting or rather arguing again and Sayuri was really glad that she had gotten off that cheaply, even though she really felt like kicking the Houzuki right now and what was about all this '_you might miss some things_' –talk…?

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Neji seemed to have woken from his trance and had his face turned towards Sayuri.

"Well, sure… What is it?" She asked and regarded the Hyuga with a questioning look, but he just shook his head.

"I mean in private." He murmured in a quiet and somehow thick voice, while Sayuri cocked her head to the side and needed a second to think about his request, before she nodded hesitantly and watched how Neji got up from the bench and then turned around and offered his hand to help her up, even though he would have probably needed the help much more than she did…

A bit indecisively, Sayuri gripped for it and stepped over the bench as well, waiting for Neji to let go of her hand, but he took quite some time and then led the way out of the tent.

They had to walk past the whole table and Sayuri could see how Sasuke and Karin looked up as they passed them and a moment later they were already outside, but Neji still kept on walking until Sayuri asked: "Where are we going?"

"Let's take a walk… I could need some fresh air…" He explained in a low voice and received a silent nod from Sayuri, who was still busy with pondering about what he wanted to talk to her about.

But it felt really good to be outdoors… the air in the marquee had been so stale and thick that it had been really hard to breathe. However now that it was night, it had gotten really cold and coming out of a sauna-like tent, made one even more aware of that and then there was also the moist air – as if it was about to rain any second…

They walked for nearly half an hour and not a single word passed Neji's lips; nothing of what he apparently considered too important to say among other people… Then, when they were nearly back at the market place, he finally raised his voice: "Did you have fun tonight?"

Sayuri twitched slightly as the silence was broken and a frown appeared on her face – _Was this why they were here? So he could ask her what she thought of this night?_ – This is what she would have wanted to ask him, but instead she went along with it and replied: "Yes, it was really nice…"

After this followed some further time of uneasy silence, until they walked through a dark alleyway at whose end the illuminated marquee was visible and Neji came to a stop and so did Sayuri then, too.

"What did that guy mean, when he asked you if _he_ knew what you were doing?" Neji enquired in a calm but steady voice and stood with his back turned on the colourfully lighted scene, blocking Sayuri's view of it.

Damn so he did pick something up after all, maybe she wouldn't get away as easily as she had thought…

"It is really hard to make sense of what Suigetsu means…" Sayuri evaded a clear answer and gazed probingly at the Hyuga-heir, who stared down at her with a weird, blank look on his face, but didn't say anything.

His behaviour made her feel really uneasy, he still didn't seem sober, he stood fairly crouched and was even swaying lightly and then he was so bluntly staring at her… There was something about his eyes – and not only the fact that they were so pale that his pupils were nearly invisible, which made it hard to tell if he was really looking at her or maybe at a point above her – she had never bothered about that, but right now his eyes were somehow creeping her out…

She swallowed hardly before she shifted her grey-blue eyes to the side, but turned them up after a couple of seconds again and murmured in a wavering voice: "What did you want to talk to me about Neji?"

She did her best to keep up the eye contact and now Neji was the one to break it, as he closed his eyes briefly and heaved a very sigh, until he opened his eyes after a couple of seconds again and bored them into Sayuri's. "You really look pretty today…"

"What…?" Sayuri frowned and stared with wide, disbelieving eyes at the Hyuga.

That was unexpected. She would have never thought Neji would say something like this and she clearly didn't like the direction this whole thing was taking…

Sakura had often told her that she believed Neji was quite fond of her and she had given her a lot of examples to prove so… But Sayuri hadn't believed her – Neji was no different from any of her other male friends, in fact if you judged from behaviour you would rather think Naruto to have fallen for her than Neji – and as that was clearly not the case, she had never even considered Sakura's assumptions to be true… However now she wasn't so sure about that any longer…

"I wanted to-" The Hyuga started, again in that thick voice that made you think his tongue was swollen, but then he was interrupted as some loud giggling echoed through the alley. Somehow Sayuri was glad about the interference, she wasn't so sure if she really wanted to hear what Neji had to say and now she finally had a good reason for turning away from him and so did he too…

They stared into the direction of the marquee and the girlish giggling grew louder until they saw a blonde woman, dressed in a mauve yukata, who nearly stumbled into the alley they were in. A second later there was a tall brown haired man behind her, who wrapped his arms around her and pushed her forwards, but then they seemed to notice their presence and ran off, again with some loud giggling.

Sayuri stared at the spot, where the two people had only just vanished and her mouth was slightly open, until she recollected herself and stammered after a couple of seconds: "That weren't just Ino and Kiba… right?"

She turned her eyes up at Neji and in the next second his hands were at her upper arms and pushed her against the wall and his cold lips were pressed on hers. Sayuri's eyes widened with shock and she was at first too confused and taken aback to know what to do, but the second she remembered and was just about to push him away, he removed his lips from hers by himself and now Sayuri turned her head to the side, to escape his eyes, while her heart fluttered like a trapped bird and she didn't know what to do now…

His lips had been soft and had tasted like Sake and his face was still so close to hers that his breath wrapped her in a cloud of alcohol fumes and she was afraid of getting passive drunk… but then he hadn't been the only one drinking so she was probably smelling the same way, maybe mixed with a hint of raspberry, but still…

It bothered her… She hadn't wanted to kiss him and now there was this lingering, though most likely imaginary taste on her lips that just wouldn't go away and reminded her of it again… Neji was a good friend and that was it, this whole thing here just wasn't right, it shouldn't have happened…

She would have to tell him that she didn't have feelings for him, but she just didn't know how to do so and she didn't want to hurt him…

He cupped a hand around her cheek and tried to force her still aghast face to look at him, but once Sayuri felt the light pressure on her cheek, she gripped for his hand and pushed it down, while she finally turned her face into his direction, but couldn't quite manage to look directly into his eyes.

"Neji…" She murmured his name with apparent difficulties and still thought about what to say now, but it all led to just one thing…

"I'm sorry…" She lowered her head and hoped he would say something now, or just walk off or anything - as long as he did something other than just staring at her…

"…Why…?" He asked after a couple of seconds, but his voice was completely monotonous, so Sayuri didn't know if he asked why she was sorry or why she apparently didn't reciprocate his feelings…

This really sucked – things between them wouldn't be the same from now on, even if they'd try, there'd always be something, like a shadow that would always be there and make things difficult. Just why did this have to happen? And what could she do to cause as few harm as possible? Here were her two options again… She could either stick to the truth and tell him that she just didn't feel anything for him and had never even considered anything of that sort, or she could lie to him and tell him that she just wasn't ready for anything like that yet, but maybe some day she would…

She would definitely not go for a lie again – either way in the end it wouldn't make a difference, she'd reject him and regardless of her reason for it, things would change between them… maybe not for long, depending on how he would take it – but they'd definitely change…

"You're a really good friend, but that's everything… I'm sorry…" She still didn't look up, but noticed how Neji was still standing kind of unsteadily and hadn't removed his hands from her arms yet – even though right now Sayuri thought that he maybe needed the support to not fall over…

"Why…?" He again kept it down to a monosyllabic question, and there was something sceptical in his voice, which finally made Sayuri look up at him.

'_Why?_'- He couldn't seriously expect her to explain why she felt the way she did – apart from the fact that it'd be just impossible for her to do so, it just didn't feel like something she owed him an explanation to… and yet that's what she did, explaining herself, even though the second the words had passed her lips, she wished there was some way to draw them back again…

"There's someone else…" She whispered in a weak, toneless voice that hardly sounded like her own and looked down again, even though it would have probably been helpful to see Neji's reaction.

"What?" It seemed as if the effect of the alcohol had worn off from one second to the next; his voice was perfectly clear now and he stood straight as a post, while the pressure he exerted on her upper arms increased considerably.

"Who?" He asked in a firm tone and shook her lightly, forcing her to look at him again.

A timid expression formed on Sayuri's face – just what had she gotten herself into right now? This had been the very wrong way to take things on; she really didn't know why she had said that… Maybe a mixture of worn-off active drunkenness and now also rekindling passive drunkenness… it's like it had literally burst out of her – she had feared lately that something like this would happen, but she hadn't thought this soon and especially not in such a situation…

"Sayuri – tell me who!" He tightened his grip on her arms, as he still didn't receive an answer and lowered his head slightly until it was on one height with Sayuri's.

"Neji… please stop it…" The violet-haired girl murmured, as she stared through anxious eyes at the Hyuga and pressed herself against the wall behind her, as far as it would allow, just to have some distance to him… she didn't recognize him any longer – this wasn't him, Neji would never do anything like that, he just wouldn't…

The brown-haired man only raised an eyebrow, as if he wanted to remind her that he was still waiting for an answer and his face didn't look furious or anything but was entirely blank and that frightened her even more. She couldn't believe she was actually standing here and was afraid of one of her best friends - things had gotten totally out of hand…

"You're hurting me…" She whimpered as his grip on her arms became tighter – not painful yet, but she figured it would be better to do something before it would and it worked. He loosened his grip a little, but not much and he just wouldn't let go off her or release her from his piercing gaze and she could feel a slight lump build in her throat and her heart wouldn't have beaten any faster if she had seen a ghost. She only wanted to get away from here, but it didn't seem as if he would let her, before he had gotten his answer and she just couldn't give it to him…

"Let go of her." They heard a low, harsh voice, coming from the direction of the market place and when they turned their heads towards it, they saw a dark-haired man only a couple of metres away from them.

Neji shifted his eyes to Sasuke and then back to Sayuri and a shocked expression invaded his face - it was just then that he not only saw the frightened look in Sayuri's eyes, but actually realized what it meant and more importantly realized just what he was doing here… That he was seriously intimidating, even hurting her – the very last thing he intended to do and it had taken this damn Uchiha to come up for him to see that….

He loosened his grip a little, but didn't remove it entirely, couldn't remove it entirely… not now that the Uchiha had told him to do so – he wouldn't obey the words of an Uchiha, even though he knew that he was still scaring Sayuri…

"What do you want here, Uchiha?" The Hyuga hissed in a sharp voice and turned his pale eyes towards the raven-haired man, with so very obvious despise in them.

"You heard her, now let go." Sasuke stated in a calm but decisive voice and took some steps into their direction.

Neji watched him with a disapproving look in his eyes before he gazed down at Sayuri again, who was staring at the member of the rivalling clan as well and something about her face had changed and now Neji was overcome by a terrible suspicion…

The someone else she had been talking about couldn't seriously be him… This was ridiculous – the Uchiha was a cold-blooded, indifferent traitor, she couldn't seriously have fallen for him, she wasn't like those other girls, but just what was he doing here then and why did he have to come now of all times… or maybe it was good that he had come, who knows what else he would have done if not…

While Neji was engrossed in his thoughts, he hadn't realized how his grasp on Sayuri's arms had become stronger again and she squeezed her eyes shut in pain, this time for real and even though she tried to fight it, a muted wail escaped her lips.

A second later the pressure on her arms was gone and she heard some rumbling and when she opened her eyes again, she saw a small red and white fan symbol in front of her, while her vision of anything else was blocked.

"What's your problem, Uchiha?!" She perceived Neji's voice and leaned her head to the side, so she could peer past Sasuke, who had planted himself protectively in front of her: Neji was standing at the opposite wall, not far away from them. He clutched an arm to his shoulder and looked really angry right now and had even activated his Byakugan - she had never seen him look like this, he looked really intimidating…

"This is none of your business, so back off!" The brown-haired man groused and glared at the only member of the rivalling clan.

"I don't think so." He merely stated and caused Neji to emit a scornful snort.

"You don't think so? Don't make me laugh – as if you'd care about someone else but yourself – so why don't you just back off?"

Sasuke didn't say anything to the Hyuga, but kept glowering at him, until Neji planted himself in front of him and murmured in a low, but slightly trembling voice, as if he really had to struggle to keep his cool.

"Did you swallow your tongue? I'm talking to you! Damn Uchiha…" He grumbled and stared with his pale eyes right into Sasuke's dark ones, but then swayed lightly which caused a scornful sneer to appear on Sasuke's lips.

"What a sad twist of fate to be born into the Hyuga clan – no wonder you can only endure it drunk…" The Uchiha-heir stated in a low voice, as the smell of alcohol filled his nostrils and yet there was something amused about his tone, as if he meant to tease Neji and it seemed to work out.

"Better than being born into a clan, that took care of its own annihilation…" He growled in a low voice and pulled himself together, unwilling to show any more weakness…

Something about Sasuke's posture changed after these words, as if he had grown from one second to the next and Sayuri was suddenly overcome by an uneasy feeling – she couldn't believe Neji had really said that, he usually wasn't one to throw verbal low blows around – he was behaving so out of character today, far too much to blame merely on the alcohol…

"You should watch your tongue…" Sasuke hissed in a threatening tone and now a cold shudder ran down Sayuri's spine. Things were running out of control – this wasn't about her or anything – she was just an excuse so they could give vent to their hatred towards each other – this was all about their clan rivalries and judging from how they were behaving right now, this could end up really bad… Drunk as he was, Neji was unpredictable and she didn't know about Sasuke, but in case Neji should provoke him any more he would definitely act and who knows what would happen then…

Finally, Sayuri gathered all her courage, even though her whole body was trembling and pushed herself off the wall. She was just about to walk around Sasuke, when he stretched his arm out and blocked her path.

"Take your filthy hands away from her." Neji growled and clenched his fists, while Sasuke observed him with a raised eyebrow, before he murmured with a mocking sneer on his face: "You think she wants _your_ hands?"

He emphasized the word and now Neji's whole body started shaking with anger and he raised his fist as if he meant to strike at Sasuke, who only regarded him with a challenging look in his eyes and not a trace of intimidation.

"Stop it – both of you!" Sayuri frantically dug her nails into Sasuke's sleeve and pushed his arm down, receiving a disapproving side-glance from the Uchiha in return and it was just then that she realized that he had activated his blood trait as well, before she stepped between the two of them and stared at Neji.

"Please leave now…" She begged him in a pleading tone and watched the slightly hurt expression on the Hyuga's face and was at once overcome by guilt, however then Neji's eyes turned upwards and he stared at the Uchiha and the self-complacent sneer on his face, his gleaming red eyes…

He clenched his fists even tighter until his knuckles were entirely white and his lips curled up in frustration and anger, but he forced himself to calm down, and lowered his hand again…

"Sayuri…" He started but then his eyes fell on the Uchiha again and he turned his head to the side and bit on his lower lip. Actually he wanted to apologize… he had hurt and scared her… no wonder that she wanted him to go away, he had really screwed up, but he just couldn't apologize and admit that he had done something wrong when this damn Uchiha was around. He still didn't understand what he was doing here – was he really the someone Sayuri had been talking about and did he actually care about her too? Almost impossible to believe – he was too selfish and egoistic to care about someone else but himself – however the worst about this whole situation was that right now he had turned into the bad guy while Sasuke was the good one here… This just wasn't right – how had this wretched Uchiha managed to turn the tables like this? And right now there was nothing he could do about it any longer… he had totally screwed up…

" Tze…" Neji hissed furiously – angry both at the Uchiha as well as at himself – before he spun around and walked off, without casting another glance at them.

"Neji!" Sayuri called his name in a desperate voice and took a step after him, but even though he hunched his shoulders up after hearing her voice, he just kept on walking and vanished after a couple of seconds from her sight.

"Phew…" Sayuri sighed wearily and placed her hands on the still painfully throbbing spots on her arms, while her body was still shaken by occasional shudders.

She still didn't believe this had actually happened. It had ended about nearly as bad as it possibly could – at least they hadn't started to fight, even though it had been a really close thing, but that was really the only positive aspect about all this… She could still see Neji's face; that hurt expression as she had told him to leave – she hadn't wanted this to end up like this… Why was it that she seemed to hurt and scare away all the people that were actually dear to her, lately? Everything was changing and far too fast for her taste and into the wrong direction as well… If she kept that up she'd be all alone in no time…

Sasuke stood right next to the violet-haired girl and watched her heavily breathing and shivering frame with his inscrutable black eyes.

"You're shaking." He said eventually and caused Sayuri to twitch lightly.

"It's cold." She whispered in a weirdly monotonous voice and slung her arms tighter around her body, as if she wanted to emphasize that…

Her gaze remained fixed on nothing in particular, entirely absorbed in her thoughts and she looked much smaller and frailer than usually – this whole thing must have really affected her, even though he couldn't really tell why. He had come relatively late – who knows what that Hyuga had done to her…

Sayuri kept standing where she was and stared with a faraway expression at the bleak wall on the other side of the narrow alley, until Sasuke stepped in front of her and draped his long kimono-like jacket around her shoulders and finally managed to draw her gaze to his and he was sure that he cold see a suspicious glimmer in her shadowed eyes.

"You wanna leave?" Sasuke asked in a calm voice and received a silent nod in response, so they turned their backs on the lighted scene and walked quietly down the empty street.

Sayuri's thoughts still circled around the past events, but all this thinking didn't really help her understand it… What would have happened if Sasuke hadn't shown up? Would she have managed to fix things and make them end better…? Highly unlikely – she had already been too deep in trouble with her sudden and absolutely untimely flash of honesty… Neji had been a completely different person, so who knows what would have happened if Sasuke hadn't come. But the fact is he had; she had needed help and he had been there… even though she had no idea how he had known, or if he had known at all – maybe it had just been a coincidence that he had been at the right place in the right moment and he had at once seized the chance to pick a fight with Neji… And that's what they had nearly done – they had even both activated their kekkai-genkai, if she hadn't been able to stop them…

A new shudder ran through her body as she thought about what could have happened and she pulled her arms closer around herself, while her gaze remained fixed on the dark street in front of her and now the first drops of rain started falling out of the ink black sky.

"Still freezing?" Sasuke, who had apparently noticed how she had shivered, asked in a sceptical tone, as if he knew that it wasn't from the cold, but went along with her little untruth anyway.

"Uh-huh" She just nodded, which wasn't even a lie, even though it wasn't the reason why she shivered…

The Uchiha regarded her with a pensive expression, before he put an arm around her shoulder and tucked her against his side. Sayuri cast a slightly confused glance at him, after all they were still theoretically in public, even though they hardly encountered anyone on their way and if so those people were in most cases drunk and most likely unable to recognize them, but still it was rather uncommon for him to behave this way… But it's not like she wouldn't enjoy it; up to now they either spent their time at her house or more often at his when they met and that was okay, but still it felt good, as well, to just take a walk here and do something else…

She snuggled closer to him and placed a hand on his chest, while he reflexively tightened his grip on her shoulder and looked down at her as he heard her sigh, before she turned her head up to look at him as well.

"Thank you… for… you know…" She breathed the words in a hushed tone and closed her eyes briefly, before she turned them up to Sasuke's again and locked gazes with him.

"Nevermind." He murmured huskily and perceived how a light smile rose on her lips, before she leaned her head against his chest again and looked down the wet shining road.

They walked another five minutes in silence, through the now heavier rain, which slowly began to soak through their clothes, especially Sasuke's, since he was holding her and protected her from the rain, until they reached a fork in the road and Sasuke led the way to the right and caused a confused frown to appear on Sayuri's face, as she lived in the other direction.

"Where are we going?" She asked eventually, after having scrutinized the dark and shiny streets closely for some time.

"To my house…" The Uchiha-heir explained in a blank voice, however his statement only added to her confusion.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow and peered up at the dark-haired man, who smirked lightly about the puzzled look on her face.

"It's still early and it's closer…" He shrugged her off and directed her around the next corner.

_Early_? He was right… It was all dark outside and now there was also the rain and they had been in the tent for quite a while, which had made it easy to lose track of time, but actually it was most likely just about 10 o'clock, so there should be nothing wrong with waiting for the rain to stop, which probably wouldn't take too long anyway…

"Okay…" She eventually murmured, even though she was rather sure that he hadn't waited for her approval.

They kept on walking and Sayuri finally managed to banish all the obtrusive thoughts about what had happened from her mind and enjoyed their little walk. She'd really love to do so more often, just with a little less humidity and so on… it was really nice to do something couplish… something other than just sitting at home, even though there was nothing wrong with that either – it was just a welcome change…

…

…

About an hour, or maybe two later, Sayuri was still at Sasuke's house and sat in the cozy armchair in his room, while he had gone downstairs to drink something.

After the good start of the evening and then the turn for the worse, it had really gotten better again and she had actually been able to push the events of tonight to the back of her mind and managed to just concentrate on the here and now – which was actually pretty rare for her in general…

She took the pins out of her hair, because they weren't really comfortable and now that she was only lazing around it didn't really matter anyway, so she let her long dark hair fall loosely over her shoulders and inhaled the sweet, soothing jasmine scent of her shampoo, which floated like a cloud in the air around her.

With a sigh she sunk deeper into the armchair and hunched her shoulders up, while she stretched her arms to the front and fought back a yawn. Her eyes roamed lazily around his room; it looked the same way it had when she had lived here. It was very neat and spacious and mainly kept in light colours.

Except for the bed, which stood nearly in the centre of the room, the furniture was arranged along the walls, so there was a lot of free space in the middle of it. The armchair she was sitting in stood diagonally across the bed and on the wall to her right side was a side board with books in it and there used to be a TV on top of it too, but it got broken in the course of the attacks so Sasuke had thrown it away. The wall on her left side consisted of a window front that led onto the ample, roofed balcony, which faced towards the middle of Konoha.

Her eyes rested on the wall scroll, right above his bedside table, but only because they happened to be in the centre of her gaze, until she slowly closed them and didn't really feel like tugging them open again. However then a loud bang did the job for her and she sat up straight, while trying to find out what had just happened.

The dimly lit room was suddenly filled with colourful light and as she turned her head to the windows she realized that they were sending up fireworks to mark the occasion.

With a delighted look on her face, Sayuri stepped to the huge French windows which led to the balcony and pulled one of them open. She placed her hands on the smooth, cold frame, before she leaned her head against them and inhaled the cool night air and the smell of the freshly fallen rain, while vibrant shades of alizarin crimson, prussian blue, sap green and yellow ochre flitted over her face, turning her pale skin into a canvas.

With a contented smile on her lips, she lost herself in the beautiful sight, the light, the colours, the shapes… until she felt two strong arms wrap around her body in a tight, possessive embrace. The smile on her face grew warmer and softer and she leaned back, until her head rested against Sasuke's shoulder and inhaled his pleasant, by now familiar scent, while both their eyes remained focussed on the amazing fireworks.

It was much nicer than the one from last year, even though she couldn't really put a finger on why that was the case… It didn't really look different… most likely it was just this whole situation, the way he held her here and just made her feel good… It was as if nothing of what had happened today mattered any longer… It was just him and her and the glowing light of the fireworks which plunged them in ever new colours and gave something mystique to the atmosphere.

A bright green lighted the room, as Sasuke pressed his lips to Sayuri's soft hair, causing a beaming smile to flit across her face, before she craned her neck to place a light kiss on his lips. However once she parted from him, he tightened his embrace into a literal bear-hug and captured her lips again in a longer, deeper kiss that sent a pleasant warm feeling through her entire body. Without any kind of warning, he moved his hands upwards, over her chest and ran his fingers along the collar of her kimono, before he slowly pushed it to the side and his action caused a surprised gasp to escape Sayuri's lips, while she tensed up noticeably and could no longer concentrate on what her lips were doing.

Her rather obvious reaction to his touch caused him to lower his hands again and rest them on her waist, while Sayuri turned her face back to the half open window and stared through blank eyes and still heavily breathing at the now blue and silver firework outside.

His kiss still lingered on her lips… she could still taste him, could feel a certain warmth at the places he had touched and then her heartbeat hadn't calmed down yet either… Why did she always have to ruin everything? It was the same as back then… Everything had been okay, until she had realized what was happening… then her mind had taken control again and she had become too nervous and self-conscious to do anything and her behaviour had actually repelled him… just as she had feared – it was always the same … as if she was stapled to reality, doomed to watch her own nervous self screw everything up with her insecurities…but at least it was good to know that he wouldn't force her to anything and gave her time…

She closed her eyes briefly and exhaled deeply, before she looked at their reflection in the large, shining window. His gaze was again focussed on the fireworks; her hair brushed against his cheek lightly and he was still embracing her, though much lighter than before.

There was something she liked about that picture, about seeing how he was holding her, how big and strong he looked there behind her, but most important was this feeling… she felt comfortable and protected when she was with him… even though she's had some nagging doubts about this at the beginning, but it just felt right…

Still with her eyes fixed on the mirror-like glass, Sayuri bit into her lower lip, before she turned around and now Sasuke finally detached his eyes from the view outside and stared with an inscrutable expression at the girl he was still holding in his arms.

She moistened her lips in a nervous manner and cast a sheepish look at the dark haired man, before she stretched up and linked her hands behind his neck and kissed him again. It was a slow and soft kiss, but no less intensively than the ones before.

Once they broke apart again, Sayuri laid her hands on his chest and rested her cheek right between them, listening to his calm and even heartbeat, which was so very unlike her own, while Sasuke wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her into a tight embrace and he registered with a smirk, how she sighed contentedly, but then looked up as the room was bathed in a dazzling violet light.

She tilted her head down and leaned her forehead against his chest while her hands wandered to her back and unloosened the bow of her obi and let it slip down to the floor. Still with her head down, she moved a bit away from Sasuke, while the smooth, ivory fabric of her kimono slid down her shoulders, the charcoal flower tendrils wandering down her legs, but she kept it clutched to her chest, while she finally forced herself to look at Sasuke again.

He looked a bit surprised about her action, but once he saw the nervous look on her face, he pulled her back into his arms and stroked gently over the nape of her now exposed neck. He placed a soft kiss on her lips, before he leaned his forehead against hers and whispered: "Are you sure you want this?"

What a question… as if she knew that… She had been sure she wouldn't be ready for something of that sort and yet she was standing here, making herself entirely vulnerable to him… Was it too late to blame this on the alcohol?

She nodded her head lightly and saw a hint of a smile on Sasuke's face, before he claimed her lips again, but this time it wasn't as easy for her to let herself go again; to just give in to his caresses… the prospect of what was going to happen hovered like a shadow in her mind and wouldn't allow her to drift into blissful ignorance again… even though she could really need that now…

Once they broke the kiss, Sasuke's lips trailed down her throat, before he bowed down and slid his hands under her thighs and lifted her up with a jerk. She gasped in surprise and wrapped her legs around his hips reflexively, fearing that she would fall backwards otherwise, but he already had his strong arms at her back and supported her.

Now her face was a little above his – a completely new perspective – and she pressed her lips onto his again, while she perceived a soft click and guessed that he must have just closed the balcony door. Then, without even realizing how she had gotten there, she was gently placed on the plain white sheets of his bed, while the dark-haired man bent over her and stroked over one of her thighs that were still wrapped around his body.

A sudden shudder ran through Sayuri's body and she sucked in her air sharply, before she pushed her upper body up by supporting herself on her elbows and blushed as she realized that her kimono was now mainly underneath her and that she was only wearing her underwear now, whereas Sasuke was still completely dressed, which was probably what made her feel so uneasy…

He began wandering up her thigh with his lips, sending such an indescribable sensation through Sayuri's body that she would have best liked to push him away, before it would go too far for her to maintain her self control… Another tremor ran through her and now Sasuke looked up with an amused smirk on his lips and their eyes locked for a second, before he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her back abruptly, causing her to fall down on her back again.

"Sasuke…" She gasped, slightly shocked, before the Uchiha was above her again and peered down into her face with an ambiguous look in his eyes and now Sayuri swallowed hard and picked up all her courage to overcome her passivity, before she shyly slipped her hands under his thick black pullover and gazed up at Sasuke again, who looked clearly amused about her hesitance. She pulled it over his head and looked with another light shade of pink on her cheeks at his torso, before she tentatively traced her fingers along the line of his abs, with an almost fascinated look in her eyes, which caused a self-complacent grin to appear on Sasuke's face.

He leaned down again and placed a hand on her cheek, while pushing her face upwards, before he bit into her lower lip and nudged her nose with his lightly. A bright beam appeared on her face and she smiled into the kiss, at once oblivious of all her nervousness and self-consciousness… She ran out of breath soon, but couldn't break the kiss (actually didn't even try) since he was on top of her - in total control - otherwise it would probably be really boring around here…

Her lungs seemed to shrink and it felt as if her heart was trying to beat its way through her chest, while her senses seemed to sharpen and she felt every single one of his touches with double intensity. He finally tore his mouth away from hers and now Sayuri finally ripped her head back and greedily sucked in all the air her lungs could possibly take, while Sasuke's mouth was at her neck again; his heavy and ragged breathing giving her goose bumps.

He dragged his warm lips over her collarbone, while his hands moved over the hills and valleys of her ribcage, tracing the curves of her waist, before he slid them under her back and slowly moved them upwards again. Sayuri let out a soft moan and arched her back reflexively, while his hands reached her bra and unclasped it.

Her breathing quickened again and she slung her arms around his neck, arching her body into his, to cover what little distance there was between them. Her lips were parted slightly, her breath coming in shallow, quiet gasps, which quickened as she felt how Sasuke began exploring every bit of her smooth and warm skin with his lips, while his hand slid down her flat stomach and stroked over her panties.

A surge of almost unbearable heat swept through her body and she grabbed a fistful of his hair, as if she needed to get hold of something, while she craned her neck and couldn't keep a soft moan from escaping her lips.

And she had been afraid that she wouldn't be able to let herself go… Right now her senses were so blurred that she didn't take in anything but the man above her; his taste, his smell, his touch… at this moment her whole world revolved only around him and the feelings he evoke in her.

His lips crushed onto hers in a raw, bruising kiss, while one of his hands wandered down her shivering body and vanished within her panties. She tore her mouth away from his and inhaled sharply, because of this so very intimate touch, which sent jolts of electricity through her body. His face was a short distance away from Sayuri's now and he registered her reaction to his touch with a smug smirk on his face, before he leaned down to kiss her again.

The heat became almost unbearable and she was barely able to locate the source of this intensive albeit unknown sensation, when Sasuke suddenly broke the kiss and moved his hands up to her arms, intertwining his fingers with hers.

Sayuri looked up at him with a confused, but still clouded gaze and cast a rapt smile at the raven-haired man, who regarded her through lidded eyes and there was something about the way he looked at her that took her breath away – if that was even possible now…

He lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on her lips, before he sat up under Sayuri's uncomprehending and now again uneasy gaze and took off his pants, before he trailed his hands along her sides again and stopped at her hips.

Now Sayuri was overcome by a nervous feeling after all, but it was soon replaced by a sharp pain, spreading through her whole body, once he entered her.

Everything around her turned black for split second and she couldn't help but to suck in her breath through clenched teeth and dig her fingers almost frantically into Sasuke's broad shoulders, while her whole body became stiff. It felt like she would fall apart and she was no longer just shivering slightly but thoroughly shaking.

Sasuke raised his head and peered with an uncomprehending expression into her pretty, but now pain-contorted face. He knitted his brows lightly before he placed a gentle kiss on her slightly sweaty forehead and murmured: "Hurt…?"

She had problems with keeping her eyes open, but tried to meet Sasuke's soft gaze, before she sucked in her lower lip as another sting of pain rushed through her and finally nodded helplessly, not wanting to ruin everything again, as she so often did…

"I'll be careful…" He breathed against her mouth, before he placed a soothing kiss on Sayuri's lips. Still heavily breathing she looked up at him and there was just something in his eyes that had a reassuring effect on her… that made her trust him… so she nodded her head lightly and received another kiss by the raven-haired man, who was now mindful to move very slowly and carefully.

The pain didn't vanish but lessened after some time, or maybe it was just covered by all these new, good feelings and it didn't take long for them to find their rhythm.

"Sa-suke…" She moaned his name in a breathy voice, entirely oblivious of the feeling she aroused in the Uchiha with this simple gesture. A low groan escaped his throat as she molded herself closer to him, her petite, slender body nearly vanishing under his big, muscular one.

Sayuri arched her back and craned her neck, pressing it deeper into the pillows, as it became ever harder for her to breathe and her chest was heaving rapidly up and down, close to bursting and she could barely take it any longer. Then suddenly she lost track of everything, as she was overcome by pure, thrilling pleasure, taking away her senses and the man above her didn't seem to do any better…

With a last groan, Sasuke collapsed onto her, causing her to gasp, as his whole weight crashed down on her, but then he shifted his position and rested his head on her chest. He listened to her racing heartbeat, while he waited for his breathing to calm down again, when he perceived how she sighed contentedly and shuddered lightly, as his ragged breathing grazed her skin.

Sayuri looked down at the exhausted man on top of her, with an affectionate but weary smile on her lips, before she wrapped her arms around Sasuke's shoulders and placed a tender kiss on his dark dishevelled hair.

She leaned her cheek against his head, her breath still coming shallow through her slightly parted lips, when Sasuke rose up, by supporting himself on his elbows and stared deep into her eyes. Sayuri returned his gaze no less intensively and stroked her thumb over his cheek with a light smile on her face, when Sasuke leaned down and placed a soft but longing kiss on her lips, before he rolled off her and drew her back into his arms.

A soft rustling filled the air, as he pulled the blanket over them and Sayuri snuggled herself closer to him, resting her head on his chest, the way he had done before. He wrapped an arm around her back and stroked his fingertips up and down her upper arm, causing her to heave another languid sigh, while she was slowly but surely led into the land of dreams by his now again calm and even breathing and the steady heaving of his chest and not to forget the pleasant warmth his body radiated…

It didn't even take her five minute to fall asleep, while the man underneath her still looked down at her peacefully sleeping form with a pensive expression on his face and kept on lazily stroking his fingertips up and down her arm, until his eyes dropped shut after quite some time and he drifted off into sleep as well…

…

…


	7. Idea of a perfect morning

**7.**** Idea of a perfect morning**

The soft morning light streamed through the smaller southern window of the bedroom and awoke a young kunoichi from her deep, dreamless sleep. Her lids fluttered lightly, but didn't open just yet, while a soft sigh escaped her lips and she stretched like a cat on the bed, before she rolled on her back and reached her hands under her pillow. She stifled a yawn and now finally opened her still drowsy eyes and stared at the ceiling and the first thing she noticed was that the ceiling was evenly white: no patches or stains on it…

A confused frown appeared on Sayuri's face, before she let her eyes wander through the room she was in and slowly but surely the memories of last night came back… A light blush appeared on her cheeks and now she finally tilted her head to the left side to look into Sasuke's sleeping face.

He was lying on his side, with his hands stretched out in front of him, right underneath his face. Some dishevelled strands of his dark hair had fallen over his closed eyes and covered his calm, relaxed features and his chest was heaving almost imperceptibly up and down, indicating that he was still fast asleep…

A light smile appeared on her face at this sight, and she softly brushed the hair out of his face, her smile growing wider, as she saw how he wrinkled his nose, but still didn't seem inclined to wake up…

She dropped her hand back onto the soft pillow and stared at the big, round ceiling lamp right above her with a faraway look in her grey-blue eyes.

They had really done it… It had really happened… She still had some problems with believing that, especially since her entire memory was somehow blurred and didn't really centre on what had actually happened but was about what she had felt at that time and still she couldn't really describe it – it did seem unreal after all, but simply the fact that she was lying here; in his house, in his room, in his bed, right next to him and all naked proved that it had really happened…

She would have never thought that it would be like this… she had been sure that she would get totally nervous and insecure when she had to undress in front of him – to lower her guard entirely and make herself vulnerable to him – and even though that had been the case at the beginning, her inhibitions had retreated into the background after some time and she had felt good and secure with him… Not in the least, because he had been so confident and casual the entire time… he had always known what to do and how to get her to respond to his actions – as if he had done it a dozen times already… Maybe he had… After all he had been gone for three years – who knows what he had done in this time… Even though she highly doubted it – before Itachi's death his thoughts had circled around nothing but his revenge and gaining new power and he's been with Orochimaru, so he shouldn't have had the time and especially possibilities to start any affairs… At least she hoped so… in a way… she didn't really know why – it's not like it would change anything, but somehow it did make a difference to her… as if it made it more special to know that it had been his first time, too…

She closed her eyes briefly before she side-glanced at the still sleeping man beside her and regarded him with a pensive expression… He looked so calm and peaceful, the way he was lying there… it was really hard to believe that he had been a greatly feared nuke-nin… but he wasn't any longer, he was here now, right where he was supposed to be…

She rolled onto her side and cushioned her face on the back of her hand, while she kept on studying the man next to her with an affectionate look in her eyes and a pleasant warm feeling arose deep inside her, somewhat like the butterflies everyone was always talking about…

A quiet sigh escaped Sasuke's lips and a light frown appeared on his forehead, as if he was dreaming about something highly annoying – while asleep was apparently the only time when he wasn't in control of his facial features and his expression raised a faint smirk on her lips.

Then the alarm-clock started ringing.

Sayuri's eyes widened slightly in surprise, before she rolled around hectically and moved to the edge of the bed, while she searched for the obnoxious clock among the numerous scrolls on the nightstand. It had to stand at the farthest away edge of the small square table, of course, so she supported herself on her right elbow, while she stretched out her left arm as far as it would go and was close to falling out of bed when she finally managed to silence the disturber, with the tip of her fingers.

With a relieved sigh, she pushed herself backwards and dropped down onto the mattress again, burying her face in her pillow, while her heartbeat was slightly quickened, since that dreadful and especially sudden noise so early in the morning had caught her off guard, somehow…

The next second she heard a faint rustling and then felt two hands at her waist, which pulled her backwards, into a tight embrace.

"Good morning…" She giggled as Sasuke placed a soft kiss in the nape of her neck, before she turned around to look at him. However once she had, he closed his hands around her wrists and pushed them into the pillows next to her face, while he rolled on top of her and looked with an ambiguous expression into her slightly anxious face.

An amused sound passed his lips before he leaned down to kiss her. After that first surprise, Sayuri responded to the kiss and intertwined her fingers with his, again overcome by that light feeling – as if she was weightless and only his hands and lips kept her from floating off.

Far too soon, he pulled away from her again and rested his forehead on Sayuri's briefly, wisps of his dark hair tickling her cheek and his quickened breathing mingling with hers, before he got up and stepped out of the not exactly large bed.

Sayuri propped up on her elbows and gazed after him with a confused and slightly sheepish expression on her face, since he was still entirely naked, so she fixed her eyes on the back of his head, before she enquired in a hesitant voice: "What are you doing?"

Without looking back at her, he walked towards his wardrobe and took out some fresh clothes, before he answered in a low voice: "I have an appointment…"

Sayuri frowned lightly about his lack of details, before she pulled the thin blanket tightly around her chest and sat up entirely.

"You're leaving…?" She tried to keep her voice steady, but her confusion and even a slight hint of hurt were clearly audible.

"Hn." He nodded and now finally turned around to her, causing a telltale blush to appear on her cheeks, before she hastily averted her eyes from his bare body.

A smug smirk rose on Sasuke's lips, before he walked towards the door, but came to a stop in its frame.

"There are fresh towels in the bathroom downstairs and food is in the fridge, but you know that already – Suigetsu always starts training outside around noon, so you better leave before that…" He murmured huskily before he walked out of the room.

Sayuri pulled the covers closer to her, while she still stared at the spot where Sasuke had only just vanished, until she perceived a soft bang, like that of a door. Still with a confused frown on her face, she sunk back into the pillows and clasped her hands over her eyes, while a weary sigh escaped her lips. Then she turned her head towards the door slightly, as she heard the faint sound of running water, before she closed her eyes again and wrapped her arms around her drawn-up knees.

This wasn't how she had imagined things to be… She had actually looked forward to spending some time here in bed with him, stupid as it might sound, she wanted the whole program – like spending the morning cuddling in bed, then getting up and putting on his shirt, eating breakfast together - just all the stupid clichés she could think of… however his hasty departure and this indirect request for her to leave as soon as possible – because noon was not even two hours away – had thwarted her plans somehow…

After the day had started so well, there was only disappointment, now… Actually unfounded – he had an '_appointment'_ (whatever that was supposed to mean) – this had nothing to do with her, right? He had even set his alarm clock, so this wasn't just an excuse to get rid of her again… even though it somehow felt like that…

He hadn't told her where he was going to and except for that rather rough, but still great good-morning kiss, he had been pretty cold… Or maybe this was just her imagination… he hadn't really been different from how he usually was, most likely she was just a bit touchy… after all she had entirely opened herself to him and this whole thing had made her sensitive, somehow…

She had entirely let her guard down and only because she had thought she wouldn't need it with him – she felt secure and protected when she was with him, so she had thought that she wouldn't need any additional protection… thought that it would be enough… right now it felt a bit like a miscalculation, though – as if she had interpreted more into his behaviour than there actually was – had only seen what she had wanted to see, like she so often did…

She had let herself fall and he hadn't been strong enough to catch her – or hadn't even been there to try… Or maybe she was still falling… She really didn't know – this whole thing was too confusing and contradictory…

She needed the reassurement that everything was okay, it had been a really huge step for her and right now she feared that it wasn't the same for him. That it was just something casual or common for him, hardly worth mentioning… Or maybe she had done something wrong… she had been so nervous that she had been entirely passive most, of the time like a doll or a mannequin… maybe it was not only her who was disappointed but him as well – even though clearly for different reasons… but she hadn't really had the impression that he hadn't liked it… really not… but then she had been too flustered to take in much of what had happened anyway and had maybe just projected her own feelings onto him… She wouldn't put it past herself, even though this really wasn't something she wanted to think about…

Even if it hadn't been too good that shouldn't really change anything, right? This wasn't all about sex – they were together because there was just some kind of connection between them, something that drew them towards each other like a magnet… Or maybe this whole thing wasn't as mutual as she wanted to believe and it was just her who was being attracted by him…

She really shouldn't do that… persuading herself that he didn't really reciprocate her feelings. This entire situation – the fact that he had only just returned and then all this hiding and so on – made it hard enough for them anyway, so she really shouldn't make things even more difficult than they already were and then for nothing…

Most likely she was really just touchy and made mountains out of molehills… She'd see soon enough, so there really was no reason for her to rack her brain right now… Therefore she should definitely get up and do something to take her mind off all these things…

She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, while she cast a still drowsy gaze through the room and rose to her feet. Only wrapped in the blanket, she picked her clothes from the floor and looked out of the huge window.

The sky was covered with these thin cirrus clouds and they didn't really obscure the sun, so it looked like a really nice day. From what she could see the streets were entirely empty – like the whole village was in hang-over mood, which wouldn't even be surprising, considering how much alcohol had been eradicated last night…

She should really hurry with leaving, before that would change… Maybe that's why he had told her to leave before Suigetsu would come– because he knew that he belonged to the group of people she would least like to see this early in the morning – especially around here… It would probably end up with him saying things that made her wish for the earth to swallow her up – same as always…

She looked down at the bundle of clothes in her arms and a weary sigh escaped her lips, before she ran a hand through her long, tousled hair and walked out of the room.

She listened into the dark, empty corridor, but there were no sounds anymore, nothing but the faint rustling of the blanket she was wrapped in. Once she was downstairs, she went into the small bathroom, which was probably meant for guests and took a brief shower. She didn't know why, but she really wanted to get away from here as soon as possible… So she didn't even bother to dry her hair, but tied them up, before she put on her yukata again and stepped out of the room.

She didn't stop to have breakfast, even though a tempting scent of coffee lingered in the air right in front of the kitchen, but she resisted her craving for caffeine and walked out of the huge, deserted house.

The bright sun shone right into her face, causing her to narrow her eyes reflexively, but in spite of the sun it was much colder than she would have imagined, so she wrapped her arms around her chest and walked with hasty steps down the street, which led out of the Uchiha compound. Not having anything to do but walking, she drifted off into her thoughts again and therefore didn't notice the person at the end of the street at first.

Didn't take her much longer though… as she was only about a couple of steps away from the other woman she finally noticed her presence and came to a stop at once, a shocked expression invading her face.

She must have really done something wrong – that was the only plausible explanation for her bad karma today… Right in front of her stood the very person she would have least liked to see: Karin.

The red-haired woman swayed down the street, looking somewhat unsteady on her feet and her hair was all dishevelled and she had that suffering look on her face, as if she was having a really bad headache - she must have really overdone it yesterday and was probably just getting home herself…

Maybe she was still too drunk to notice her at all… Sayuri really crossed her fingers and hoped she'd have at least a tiny bit of luck today after all, but this morning remained marked by disappointment…

After a couple of seconds the ex-nuke-nin turned her head up and once she saw the other girl in front of her, an equally shocked look appeared on her face, until something about her expression changed… it was like after that first surprise of seeing her here, she realized what it had to mean and now she mainly looked irritated… She couldn't seriously know what she was doing here… That was totally absurd… she was probably just annoyed by seeing her here at all…

Her deep red-eyes wandered up and down, as she scrutinized her from head to toe and she scrunched her nose, with a disgusted and now really angry look on her face.

Maybe she knew after all… She was a sensor type, so maybe she felt it… But even if not, this whole situation was pretty obvious. She was here, rather early in the morning, still wearing the unfortunately far too conspicuous clothes she had worn yesterday and then there was also that look on her face that nearly screamed: '_Now you caught me…_'

She tried her best to get that far too obvious expression out of her face, even though she was sure it was already too late for that…

"My, my… Look who we've got here…" The redhead raised an eyebrow resentfully and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Karin…" Sayuri emitted a nervous laugh, her eyes wandering around as if she was searching for an escape route…

"What brings you here? – this early in the morning…" Karin enquired, her voice sounding a little thick, but nevertheless she regarded her opposite with a sharp expression and now at the latest Sayuri was sure that she knew, but for the unlikely case that she didn't, she definitely wouldn't tell her…

"I'm just on my way home…" She evaded her question and tried to walk past her, but Karin did a quick sidestep to block her way and scrutinized her for quite a while with a curious, but still indignant face and it really looked like she was seething with rage and just couldn't think of anything to say, until she apparently caught herself and raised her voice.

"This means you're the new one then, huh?" She leaned forwards and peered into Sayuri's face, causing her to flinch back a little because of the sudden proximity.

"…_New one_…?" Sayuri repeated her words with an uncomprehending look on her face and her expression became just all the more confused, as Karin started laughing factitiously and lifted one of her hands up and cupped it around her cheek.

"Ah, come on… you didn't really think you were the only one, right?" She tilted her head to the side and scrutinized the girl in front of her through narrowed eyes and with a mean sneer on her full lips.

"I have no idea what you are talking about…" Sayuri stated truthfully and watched with an uneasy feeling how the sneer on Karin's face grew wider and she shook her head in disbelief.

"I'm talking about Sasuke of course." The red-head observed with a satisfied expression how Sayuri's eyes widened slightly after her words and how she tensed up noticeably.

"You didn't really think you were his only girlfriend, did you? Sayuri-_chan_…" Karin asked in a sickly sweet voice and seemed to get more cheerful and sober from second to second…

"W-What…?" The violet-haired girl stared at her with an absolutely shocked face, still hearing her words in her head but not really able to relate any meaning to them, as if she was struck down by a sudden aphasia…

"Maybe you're the '_main girlfriend'_ at the moment-" She made little quotation marks with her fingers and accidentally nudged her glasses with her knuckles, before she carried on: "-but just because you're still all new and exciting and whatever… but that'll change…" Her eyes were suddenly obscured by a reflection on her glasses, but the sneer on her face was still all too visible…

"This is ridiculous…" Sayuri put her off and crossed her arms in front of her chest and even though she wanted to appear certain and confident about this, her troubled voice gave away her actual state of mind…

"Is it…?" Karin curled her lips and bored her deep red eyes into Sayuri's, making her feel all the more uneasy.

"Gosh, you're such a sweetheart…" The red-haired kunoichi shook her head and cast a dreamy smile at her, as if she was some kind of clumsy puppy that just tripped over its own paws…

"Of course you are the love of his life and spoiled him for any other girl and you'll marry and have happy little children, with happy little faces…" Karin chortled and made some gestures with her hands in front of her face and Sayuri was actually afraid that she'd start pinching her cheeks like some elderly aunt would do, but luckily she kept a good enough distance to her…

"Now, seriously - we're talking about Uchiha Sasuke here." She stated as if that was self-explanatory and caused a slightly impatient frown to appear on Sayuri's face.

"So…?" Sayuri enquired and still regarded her with a sceptical expression, her tense posture making obvious that she had her guard all the way up.

"_So_…?" She imitated her with an amused tinge in her voice, "Well, he's the last living member of the Uchiha-clan and as far as I know he plans on doing something about that…"

Sayuri still watched her with a wary expression, too overwhelmed by this whole situation to understand what this had to do with what she had said earlier and something about her face must have made Karin realize that, so she chuckled lightly and shook her head again about so much cluelessness.

"Oh, come on, silly - we're talking about a whole clan here… would be a bit much for a single person, don't you think?" Karin explained in that same high, sugary and therefore all the more supercilious voice, as if she was talking to a baby or someone with an IQ lower than her age…

"Tze – this is totally ridiculous…" Sayuri shook her head in disbelief and tightened her grip around her chest.

"You said that already." Karin chuckled smugly and threw her long red hair over her shoulder, before she adjusted her glasses and put on an artificial smile: "If you don't believe me, maybe you should just ask him… I bet he'd be glad to tell you… Anyway, this whole situation brings us kind of close, too, don't you think? - with so much in common, maybe we should become friends."

The redhead beamed and stepped towards Sayuri as if she meant to hug her, but left it at placing her hands on Sayuri's upper arms, while she leaned her face closer to hers, her alcohol breath always ahead of her and glared over the edge of her glasses.

"If you really think you could keep him, you're wrong – he's mine and there's nothing you could change about that… so make the best of the time you still have…" Karin snarled in a venomous voice, before a scornful sneer appeared on her face and she let go of Sayuri again.

"Bye, Sayuri-chan! See you soon." She waved at the apparently paralysed girl and vanished in the house that belonged to her now.

Sayuri kept standing where she was for quite a while; as if she still needed time to digest what had just happened and thought every other activity would hinder her from doing so…

This hadn't just happened, right?

Karin hadn't just told her that Sasuke was only using her – and not only her but also others – to revive his clan. This was totally ridiculous… that just didn't fit to him at all… and then also this talk about '_main girlfriend'_ and so on… Like seriously – as if she'd believe that… She knew that Karin was totally after Sasuke, so it wasn't really surprising that she'd come up with something like that to drive a wedge between them…

Sasuke had told her before that Karin was extremely cunning, which was also one of the reasons why he had wanted her in his team in the first place and this whole story would totally fit to that… Weaving intrigues to manipulate the people surrounding her – that seemed to be just the way Karin would deal with these things, so she should really stop thinking about this…

A weary sigh passed her lips and she finally carried on walking again; however the thing about stopping to think about it didn't really work… If this had happened on any other day, it would have probably been easier for her to dismiss all this from her mind, however now that she felt insecure anyway, she really considered some truth behind her words…

They hadn't told anyone about what there was between them and had never really talked about that themselves, which is why she had often felt like an affair and now that they had finally slept with each other, he had dropped her like a hot potato – as if she wasn't _'all new and exciting'_ anymore, as Karin had put it… But actually she has never had the impression that he was just up to getting her into bed… After all they had waited quite some time - nearly two months - and he had never really rushed her to anything, had hardly ever tried anything… if he had, this would have probably happened much sooner… even though she didn't like to admit it, but she was totally powerless before him, could hardly resist him… and still it had taken this long – so that clearly militated against what Karin had said…

But what was about that time when Suigetsu had surprised them and all his talk about babies and then the way Sasuke had touched her right after he was gone… How he had stroked over her stomach as if she was pregnant already… and more importantly what was about that thing Suigetsu had told her during the festival? When he had said that she might miss something and had glanced at Sasuke and Karin then… He's been with them for quite some time, so maybe he knew something she didn't… And then also the way the two of them had sat there, they had looked really close, as if they had forgotten they were in public… maybe the alcohol had made them forget about that and they just got carried away, which was again what Suigetsu had said…

She really didn't like the direction her thoughts were taking… the more she thought about this, the more things she encountered that argued for Karin's story and still she refused to believe it.

She trusted Sasuke – up to now he had never given her a reason not to do so… he was sometimes a bit cold and reserved and even said things that unsettled and hurt her, but not because he aimed at hurting her, but because that was just the way he was, his character, and she tried her best to overlook those little faux pas… non of it was deliberate, he didn't hurt her with lying to her, but with being just all too honest… Therefore she should have nothing to fear – if something of that sort had happened, he would have told her – and probably without understanding why it would offend her feelings… But then she had never asked him anything… And just because he didn't think much about lying about these things, didn't mean he would come out with the truth by himself…

He wasn't really talkative, especially not about these kinds of things, so maybe Karin had told the truth after all… and then they had never talked about something like loyalty anyway, so actually, even if he did have something with her, it wouldn't be like cheating – even though that's what it would feel like – to her, being faithful was self-evident, but she had no idea how he felt about that…

And then Karin had also told her to just go and ask Sasuke, which sounded as if she was rather confident about this whole thing… But she probably knew that she wouldn't do that anyway… She couldn't just walk up to Sasuke and ask him, if she was just one among his numerous girlfriends… if she was nothing but a potential baby producer for him… That would only show him that she didn't trust him – would show herself that she didn't trust him and rather believed in what Karin had told her… completely unacceptable… She didn't really know how Sasuke thought about this, but maybe she'd destroy something between them, by showing that she didn't have faith in him…

But now that she thought about it she remembered that they hadn't used any protection – at least she hadn't and as far as she knew he hadn't either. And that after she had thought about that so much, after that scene with Suigetsu, and had come to the decision that a baby was just about the very last thing she could need at the moment…but in that situation she had been far too distracted to think of something as important as that – just what in the world was wrong with her? Up to now she had never yet wasted a single thought on buying any contraceptives. She would definitely have to catch up on that…

What if she was pregnant now? It wouldn't even do to call that naivety – it's not like she had told herself something like '_the first time doesn't count'_… This was plain stupidity – it would really serve her right if she was pregnant now. No… it so wouldn't - but with her bad luck it wouldn't even be that much of a surprise. She could already see herself in nine months from now, going through the purgatory while a melon sized something squeezed through her spread legs. Not a baby of love, but a baby of stupidity – already scarred for the rest of its life with a mother who would probably pull a pillow over her head when it started screaming and a father who was too busy with impregnating other women too actually care for it… Maybe she should throw herself down a staircase… just in case… That would spare everyone a lot of trouble…

No… She wasn't pregnant and Sasuke wasn't just using her – positive thinking was called for – or maybe rather negative… Either way – there can't always be rain and she had used up a whole lot of bad luck already so maybe it was enough now… But still there was that scene with Karin…

If it hadn't been for the way he had behaved this morning, this wouldn't unsettle her this much… But hurt as she was from the way he had sent her away, she was really tempted to believe in Karin's story… it kind of fitted… Especially considering how much misfortune she's had today anyway, it was like a further escalation, which lent even more credence to it… Why should she get away with just a bit of a queasy feeling, when she could feel thoroughly shaken?

She had thought about butterflies, right? They were still there somehow… but they weren't just pleasantly fluttering through her stomach any longer, but rather thrashing around in their death throes; as if they had split into two camps – the pros and the cons - and were fiercely battling each other and she couldn't quite tell who held the upper hand at the moment, but there have definitely been severe losses on both sides…

This was exactly what she had been afraid of – something happened, something that made her doubt him somehow - and she didn't have the guts to confront him, even though it was clearly eating at her…

Hadn't she asked herself when things had started becoming difficult? – She knew now, it was about the time he had walked into her life again and had decided to show interest in her… That's when all the trouble had started… It's the first time she had become suspect, right after she had brought him back to Konoha. A short time after that came her first trouble with Sakura, then the whole thing with him in general and then the time he had left again… After that came the time she had met him again and then she hadn't known what to do any longer, hadn't been able to make sense of his behaviour and her own feelings and then she had become suspect again as she had brought him back for a second time. And now as of late there was also the new trouble with Sakura and now also with Neji… It was simply exasperating… Everything that could possibly go wrong did go wrong and there was apparently nothing she could do about it…

But that didn't help her to come up with what to do now… if she'd do nothing, that'd probably be the exact wrong way to handle things and if she'd do something, she'd first have to come up with what and then it would probably be wrong anyway… bad karma and everything… Maybe that was because of all the lying… Fortuna didn't like liars, so she was pretty much out of favour with her and she didn't hesitate in pointing that out…

She didn't even know when she would see Sasuke again - he had been in such a hurry with getting away that they hadn't even talked about that as they usually did… Maybe that hadn't been a coincidence but purpose… Maybe he didn't want to see her… Or maybe she was just being stupid… When had she started doubting him so much? Just because of the pretty obvious lie Karin had come up with? – because she was sure that in case she really had something with Sasuke, she wouldn't hesitate to inform the world about it and make sure that no other female being would even get close to him and not advise her to make the best out of her time…

She wouldn't give Karin the satisfaction of mistrusting Sasuke just because of something _she_ had said and in the worst case even put their 'relationship' at risk, which must be the very thing Karin had aimed at, when she had told her this story…

She'd wait for how Sasuke would behave now, then she'd see if her worries turned out to be well-founded or if they were mere figments… and she really hoped it was the latter… she cared too much about him to let him go and she just hoped he felt the same way about her…

…

…


	8. Clarity

**8.**** Clarity**

The day had passed in a flash, in one moment it had still been early in the morning and in the blink of an eye it was already dusk and the sky blended from the brightest lavender into a light magenta and there hung just a couple of shadowed, puffy clouds in the sky, which looked as if they had been dipped into a tin of red paint with their bottom side.

It had been a rather pleasant shift in the hospital today; the whole situation had calmed down a bit again and things were nearly back to normal, which meant the number of patients was in some kind of relation to the number of doctors and nurses again, which made things a lot easier and less stressful, but that wasn't the only reason why time seemed to have flown by…

This morning, or others might call it noon already, when Sayuri had been on her way to the hospital, she had accidentally run into Sasuke – the first time in two days now… They had talked briefly and rather constrained – after all they had been in the middle of the street, so they had been a bit restricted… They had really kept it down to a simple greeting and a short time later Sasuke had asked her to come over later and of course she had agreed… same as always… However their 'conversation' hadn't really been revealing – neither the things he had said nor anything about his mimic and gesture, which wasn't really surprising, though…

That's what had carried her through the day – thinking about what would happen later… it's the first time she saw him since he had sent her away and especially since her encounter with Karin… the last two days she had mainly been busy with getting eaten up by her own insecurities, thinking about what his behaviour had meant and if there wasn't some truth behind Karin's words after all…

Today she'd finally find out, even though she was kind of scared of the outcome… which is probably why the hours had faded that quickly… if she had only looked forward to their meeting, it would probably still be morning, but this way the clock hands had whizzed around as if in time lapse and now her shift was over, she had already walked out of the huge hospital building and weirdly enough she wished her shift would only just get started…

On any other day that couldn't have happened. She was really tired of spending most of her time in the hospital, even though she'd never openly complain, because she knew that they needed every help they could get and therefore it was okay – a sacrifice she had to make and was definitely willing to make, but today it was a bit different, not as much of a sacrifice as it usually was…

After all Sasuke hadn't gotten in touch with her lately and after what had happened that kind of spoke for itself – although not in the way she would like it to… But then she hadn't gotten in touch with him either and as far as she knew there wasn't any special rule that said that the guy had to do so…

Who knew when they would have seen each other if they hadn't crossed paths by accident… But the fact is they had and thinking about all the would-be's or could-be's was totally pointless – just about fifteen minutes and she would get her clarity, so she should really take a break of worrying herself and inventing all these worst-case scenarios…

She had decided not to believe in Karin's words and was determined not to let them get the best of her and she'd stick to that… He's probably been busy with all his ominous '_appointments'_ or he's just had some other reasons… She's been pretty busy herself lately, which was her reason for not having seen him earlier – well, that and the fact that she had been too anxious and cowardly to do so…

Just as predicted, she reached the Uchiha compound roughly fifteen minutes later and couldn't really do anything about the nervous feeling that came over her… This time she wasn't really worried about being caught here – as it seemed all members of Team Hebi knew anyway – except for Juugo maybe, but that wouldn't bother her anyway… she liked Juugo a lot and she knew that he wouldn't tell anyone – whereas with Karin and Suigetsu it was a bit different, but nothing had leaked out yet, so they seemed to have kept quiet up to now…

Once she reached the huge, imposing mansion, she stepped to the wooden front door and knocked at it lightly – as if she aimed at not being heard, so that she could just turn around and walk off again – and remain in blissful, yet tormenting ignorance…

After about a minute or two, but more likely just a couple of seconds, she pulled herself together though and prepared to knock again, however a moment before her knuckles came in contact with the light wooden surface of the sliding-door, it was shoved aside from the inside and she found herself in front of the owner of the house.

"Hey…" She smiled lightly and a little uneasy all the same, before she walked past him and took off her shoes. Sasuke slid the door shut again and watched her closely, until she turned around again and regarded him with a kind of troubled look in her eyes.

The Uchiha raised an eyebrow questioningly, but then stepped towards the violet-haired girl and wrapped his arms around her, before he placed a light kiss on her lips – the same way he always did, as if nothing had ever happened… And maybe that was the case… maybe she had been overreacting the entire time… it wasn't anything special that they hadn't seen each other right away – they hardly ever met more often than three or four times a week, so that was really nothing out of the ordinary…

"You're okay?" He looked down at her, once he broke the kiss, but his face still remained close to hers, just far enough away that he could take in her full countenance.

Sayuri closed her eyes briefly and nodded with a soft smile on her lips, almost feeling how an illusionary and above all self-imposed burden was lifted from her shoulders and she suddenly felt a little lighter and clearer now…

Once again she had been worried for nothing; she should have – well actually she had known that Karin was lying and still it had unsettled her… But apart from that her fear that Sasuke was only using her and didn't want her any longer had faded now… somewhat… She tried to convince herself that it had faded, even though there was still something, deep down in the pit of her stomach – maybe just some wounded butterflies but at the moment it rather felt like doubt… but she wasn't worried any more… really not…

He still looked at her, his deep black eyes burning into her misty blue ones, but in spite of her apparent success at convincing herself that everything was okay, the good news didn't seem to have reached her face yet and even though she tried hard to smile, there was something troubled in her features, as if the weight still clung to the corners of her lips and tried to drag them down, which made that whole smiling thing a really arduous endeavour …

She exhaled wearily but then put her hands around Sasuke's neck and pulled herself closer to him, before she pressed her lips urgently against his and Sasuke returned the kiss with just as much fervour.

Once they ran out of breath, they pulled away from each other, but still kept standing in a tight embrace. Sayuri rested her face on Sasuke's chest, waiting for her breathing to calm down and merely enjoying the feeling of being close to him and somehow glad that she didn't have to look at him now… She wasn't in control of herself yet and she didn't want him to notice, even though he apparently had already… Why else would he have asked…?

They remained like that for quite a while, completely still, until Sasuke closed his hands around her upper arms and pushed her away a bit, again just enough so that he could peer into her face with those piercing eyes of his.

She lowered her arms from his neck and let them run over the smooth fabric of his shirt, until she rested them on his firm stomach and finally turned her gaze, which had up to now been focussed on his chest, up to look at him.

"You've been training?" She asked in a soft voice, completely ignoring the still sceptical look on his face.

"Hn." He affirmed, even though the fact that he was wearing his training-clothes spoke for itself, which is also why Sayuri had come up with that at all.

"Am I… interrupting…?" She looked up at him through big eyes and watched an uncomprehending expression appear on his face.

"Why would you think so?" He frowned and really looked like he had no idea what she was talking about and somehow that made Sayuri feel better, so she just shrugged and this time it was a bit easier to smile – as if it not only felt like the weight had been lifted, but had indeed been lifted…

"When's the last time you trained?" He asked in a steady voice and there was something accusing, but somehow also challenging in his tone…

Sayuri scrunched her nose and grimaced lightly, feeling kind of uncomfortable, before she murmured in a hesitant voice: "Well… I didn't have too much time lately…" She defended herself and still tried to remember the last time she had actually done something for her physical condition…

"Well, I guess about two weeks ago – with Naruto…"

If you could call that real training, because actually she had only attacked the blind Uzumaki and then hardly longer then two hours, so it hadn't really been too exertive…

"I haven't been on any missions lately anyway and I could barely come up with enough time for it, so…" She carried on justifying herself in front of the Uchiha, who cast a slightly disapproving look at her, before he finally took his hands away from her and caused her to do so, too, before he said: "Then come on…"

He gripped for her hand and pulled her down the long corridor, while Sayuri was a little taken aback by his sudden action.

"W-what…? You mean training… now…?" She stuttered a little uneasily and definitely lacking enthusiasm and now Sasuke glanced back at her with an amused look on his face.

"Scared…? It won't be like the last time we fought…" He said somewhat smugly, which didn't really make it easy to believe him and his words caused Sayuri to emit a nervous laugh – good to know that he wouldn't go as far as to trying to kill her again, although it's not like he's been the only one with that intention…

Once they were in the training hall, the violet-haired girl started to stretch her shoulders and arms, still not really too enthusiastic on doing something… especially something that entailed physical exertion…

Sasuke observed her with watchful eyes, but didn't do anything himself, until he raised his voice in a calm, matter-of-fact tone: "Where do you see your greatest weakness – apart from laziness?"

Sayuri paused her stretching for a moment and grimaced lightly before a cheeky grin flitted over her face. He hadn't just made a joke, had he? It had definitely sounded like one, but he had kept a straight face so she couldn't really tell for sure… Anyway, it seemed like he was her personal trainer now… definitely better than just a simple affair…

"Easy… I definitely lack physical strength… even if I am able to hit someone it doesn't really have the effect I intended it to have…" She murmured and shrugged lightly.

"Tze." The Uchiha snorted, still vividly remembering the definitely painful low-blow she had given him – if she had been as strong as Sakura for example, then his life wouldn't be liveable any longer – if he would still be alive then at all…

Sayuri looked up at him with a questioning expression, but he just shook his head and fixed his gaze on her.

"Then let's start…" Sasuke pulled the violet cord around his waist tighter and cast a challenging look at Sayuri, causing her to sigh wearily, still not really too keen on his plans, but not feeling like complaining either.

Actually it was good that they did this – not only because she really did need some training, but also because this again showed that everything was okay; that things hadn't changed or become difficult now that they had slept with each other…

She crouched down in a fighting stance, not really sure if she should attack right away or wait for any kind of starting signal, but before she could even do so much as ask, Sasuke had already vanished and she was only just able to lift up her arms to block the kick he had aimed at her.

Maybe he didn't fight as if he meant to kill her, but he didn't seem to go easy on her either…

She was shoved backwards by the force of his kick and could feel a weird, not exactly pleasant tingly feeling crawl through her forearms, so she used the momentum to fall backwards and land in a bridge, while she simultaneously thrust her leg forwards and aimed to kick into his stomach. However before her toes could even touch him, he groped for her ankle and lifted her up, as if she was some kind of fish he had only just pulled out of the water…

And now she hung there, pretty helpless; she was only just able to touch the floor with her fingertips and her other leg was in the air as well and as she tried to kick him again, he just groped for her other ankle, too and looked with a rather amused expression – which she wasn't able to see though – down at her.

That was really quick. Three seconds and it was over for her… Hard to believe that she had managed to stand through nearly half an hour, back then… admittedly, even then she had known that he held back, but right now he did so, too, right? – So it really had to be her fault…

"I think you can let me down now…" She breathed in a fairly thick voice, her head entirely red and throbbing from all the blood which had rushed into it.

"Hn." The Uchiha smirked and carefully set her down on the floor again.

"You really do need some training…" He stated the obvious and watched with a raised eyebrow how the violet-haired girl struggled to her feet again and then patted the dust off her clothes.

"Seems so…" She sighed, her face slowly regaining its usual colour, before she took on a fighting stance again and waited for Sasuke to do so, too. Instead he only had a slightly mocking expression on his face and did an inviting gesture with his hand, leaving the first strike to Sayuri.

Another sigh passed her lips, before she rushed towards Sasuke, acting as if she was about to give him a blow, but then she ducked down, placed her left arm on the floor for support and tried to kick his legs out from under him.

Again Sasuke managed to turn her attack to his own advantage; right before her foot would have reached his shin, he jumped up, with his feet right underneath hers and therefore raised it in the air with him and would have caused Sayuri to do a somersault and land flat on her stomach if she hadn't been able to catch herself with her arms and was therefore on her feet again right as he should have landed again, but he was gone. She raised her arms up defensively and scanned the area for some movement, until she heard a faint rustle behind her, but as she turned around, there was nothing.

With a confused expression she observed the empty room, not really understanding where he could be hiding since there was hardly any furniture here, except for a long bench and a tiny cupboard.

"Guess you lost again…"

She twitched in surprise as she suddenly heard his voice and now she saw a kunai right in front of her throat and finally noticed his arm that was slung around her neck, right above her collarbone, without touching her though, which still didn't explain or justify why she hadn't sensed him.

"Phew…" She relaxed again and slumped her shoulders in frustration. She was really in a bad shape and not only because she was tired – in fact the last time she had actually fought was during that attack on Konoha about two months ago and even then she had mainly been busy with healing, so that was hardly worth mentioning, which meant the last 'real' fight was that against him and that was quite some time ago now…

Sasuke lowered the kunai again, but kept his arms where they were, actually even tightened his grip and raised a tiny smile on Sayuri's lips. She placed both her hands on Sasuke's forearm and turned her head around to look at him, but she couldn't see anything but his dark hair, as he leaned down and began placing light kisses in the crook of her neck.

A faint giggle escaped her lips, because his hair tickled against her cheek and now Sasuke looked up again and placed his hands on her slim waist to turn her around and at once captured her soft lips in a hungry kiss.

She felt a tingle, all the way down to her toes and buried her fingers in his hair, as if she needed the support, which wasn't even so far fetched, because she could feel her knees turn to jelly, while her mind drifted off, until there was nothing but his lips.

Then his hands came into her awareness as well and she realized that they were moving upwards and shoved her shirt up along with them.

"Wait a second…" She exhaled once she broke the kiss, but Sasuke didn't seem to mind her meek protests and crushed his lips onto hers again, while his hands carried on exploring her body.

"Hey…" She pulled her lips away again and closed her hands around his, keeping him from taking off her shirt entirely. "Sasuke-"

"What?" The Uchiha enquired in a sharp tone and there was an annoyed frown on his forehead.

Sayuri twitched slightly because of his harsh tone, before she lowered her eyes and muttered. "Just… not now…"

She lightly embedded her teeth in the inside of her cheek, more than just unhappy about how this whole thing had turned out. She had really thought they'd do some training, just something normal, but after hardly more than five minutes, he had given up on these plans again and now this… especially how irritated he had seemed as she had told him to stop… was this really just about sex for him? Or was he just frustrated… after all she had sent him different kinds of signals – first she had returned his kiss and then she had just pushed him away, just like that – first a positive then a negative signal – no wonder he was frustrated – she was more than just frustrated by herself…

And here came her doubts again… this was so foreseeable. Even though she didn't want to believe in Karin's words, she just couldn't forget them and whenever something happened that just faintly corresponded to what she had said, she was plagued by her worries and fears again… seriously, right now she wanted to get something really heavy and throw it right into Karin's face – everything went wrong and it was mostly her fault… not entirely though – the redhead had only sowed doubt in her mind, she was the one who had decided to nurture it…

She couldn't carry on like this… whenever there was just something… something out of the ordinary or not even so much, just something that fitted to this stupid, stupid story, she'd see her worries as confirmed, even without any solid evidence, so she really had to do something about this…

She knew that they were both completely different persons and didn't fit together too well, which is why they both had to take pains and change something about their behaviour. She knew that he had done so – was still doing so – whereas she hadn't done too much yet, so if she really did have feelings for him, she'd have to do something, otherwise they could break up right away…

She moved her eyes up again and noticed that Sasuke was still staring at her, as if he tried to read in her face what she was thinking, but he didn't seem too successful at it. Now that he noticed that she had apparently returned to reality he raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner and then narrowed his eyes a little.

"I'm just tired…" She sighed and shook her head lightly and after scrutinizing her for a moment longer, Sasuke nodded and stepped away from her.

Sayuri watched him with a startled expression, as he walked into the middle of the room and picked up a kunai from the floor, before he moved towards the bench at the wall.

"I take it you don't want to train any more." He murmured in a calm voice and received only a nod in response, even though he couldn't see that because he had his back turned to the violet-haired girl.

While Sasuke walked through the room and gathered his things, Sayuri sat down against the wall on the other side of the room and tried to think of how to approach this whole situation… She had to talk to him, that much was certain, but it wasn't said that she had to do it straightforwardly…

She'd somehow try to get the information out of him without telling him what this was really about, even though she didn't really know how to do so, yet… She'd just imply some things and observe his reaction – even though this was a rather bad way of taking things on, because the Uchiha wasn't exactly known to be an open book when it came to his emotion, so that could become quite difficult…

"I ran into Karin the other day…" She started, which was the only thing she could come up with right now and she noticed that he stopped in his movement, as if he wanted to show her that she had his full attention and waited for her to carry on… Or maybe he wasn't too happy about the fact that she had apparently talked to Karin and his action spoke for tension, even though she kind of doubted that, he wasn't this easy to be unsettled…

"I think she knows…" She murmured in a soft voice and watched how Sasuke carried on packing some of his weapons into the small cupboard in front of him, before he slowly turned around to her and said: "That was foreseeable… With her abilities it was only a matter of time until she sensed you…"

"But do you think she would…tell anyone…?" Sayuri murmured hesitantly and kept her eyes firmly fixed on the man in front of her, careful not to miss even the tiniest change in his expression, while she still thought about how to carry on now.

"No." Sasuke merely said, sounding really certain about this, even though Sayuri couldn't really tell why, but then she didn't know Karin as good as he did and besides, he obviously didn't belong to the category of people she couldn't stand, which is why she probably showed herself at her best when she was with him and kept the belligerent dragon locked inside… Maybe she was actually a really nice and sweet person or could at least make it seem so, but even that seemed kind of hard to believe…

"But she has quite a crush on you… don't you think she might…" She shouldn't have started like this; this wasn't really going the way she had meant it to… far too straightforward and close to the situation…

"Might what…?" He frowned at her, as she still didn't finish her sentence after a couple of seconds and now he walked up to her and sat down on the floor right next to her, which didn't really make analysing his expression any easier…

"… might try to cause trouble…" She really wished she could take that whole last part back, but it was too late for that now…

"Why should she?" The Uchiha raised an eyebrow and cast an inquiring side-glance at Sayuri, as if he didn't have the slightest idea of what she was talking about…

"Well… I mean… I don't know what you did to her, but she's like… really in love with you…" She made things only worse… right now it really did seem as if he hadn't even been aware of this – with her luck she'd just end up with bringing them closer to each other… But now it was too late anyway, so she might as well carry on…

"Did you ever give her a reason to raise her hopes…?" Sayuri enquired hesitantly and now watched the thoughtful expression on Sasuke's face and she was sure that she had seen him nod, even though it was only very slowly and latently.

Once again her doubts made their comeback, he had nodded, definitely… and what was with that thoughtful expression right now…? Did that mean he wasn't really sure, or was he just reminiscing about what there had been between them…? He merely looked thoughtful – neither in a positive nor in a negative way – so it was impossible to make sense of his expression, but either way it made her feel bad, as if her head was spinning and then her brain spat the very thing out of her mouth she least wanted to say and yet wanted to know the most.

"Did you ever sleep with her…?"

It was almost like that time in the hospital with Sakura, when the words had literally leaked out of her and she hadn't been able to control it… it was the very same now… that same hollow alien voice, that same weird breathless feeling, but now there was also a trace of nausea and relief likewise…

It was like yet another one of these slips of the tongue – even though that term wasn't quite fitting – after all she didn't just say something similar to what she actually wanted to say and it wasn't limited to sole words either but whole sentences and only those she didn't want to utter by any chance… Kind of creepy and not to forget annoying… And still no answer from him, but then she had only uttered her question about one eternal second ago…

Even though it felt kind of hard she forced herself to keep her gaze fixed on him and there was still that pensive look on his face, but then his dark eyes became focussed again and he peered deep into Sayuri's grey-blue ones while he nodded his head.

"Yes."

Yes.

'_he'd be glad to tell you'_

Maybe not glad, but he didn't seem to have problems with it either…

"Oh…" Sayuri exhaled with a blank face, her eyes fixed on nothing in particular. She really didn't know what to say to this – even though this is what she had feared and even suspected the entire time, it still came as a surprise…

So Karin had told her the truth after all; he really had something going with her… They were both just affairs… And she had always talked in plural… who knows how many others there were…

She should really find out, after all she was no one of them… one of the others… The '_main girlfriend'_ after all, but still just one among others… This wasn't how she had imagined things to be… the first time she had these kinds of feelings for a person and had thought that he'd feel this way for her too – now she knew this wasn't true… maybe if she could talk to him about it and tell him that it bothered her, maybe he'd change something then – or he'd just tell her to leave then… but then only in the unlikely case that she would pick up the courage to talk to him about this - even though right now she didn't so much feel like talking but rather like screaming…

But still even though it felt wrong to her it actually wasn't – they had never talked about loyalty; they had never even said that they were a couple… But even though there was maybe no misconduct on his part that didn't mean she could live with it… She didn't know if she could… But then it wasn't really about the could – she just didn't want that. She wanted to be _THE_ one – not one among others and yet she didn't want to lose him, but simultaneously she didn't want to be with him, just for the sake of being with him… She didn't know what she wanted – not yet… even though she had spent the last two days and most parts of the nights, too, with thinking about what this situation would mean to her, now that it really occurred, she was as undecided and helpless as at the beginning… She needed time… time to arrange her thoughts and bring some order into that chaos in her head… time to stop that wildly spinning carousel that made her feel too dizzy for just about anything – at the moment even getting up…

"Sayuri?" Sasuke looked at her with a puzzled expression, as she hadn't said a word in nearly a minute and stared with that weird blank expression at the floor to her feet.

"Hm?" She finally turned her head into his direction, even though it seemed to cost her quite an effort to do so and she couldn't bear to look directly into his eyes. She exhaled deeply and noticed how inhaling again seemed almost impossible; as if her airways had closing time and were shutting down now – no overtime today…

"I better leave now; I need to get up early tomorrow…" She muttered in a hollow voice and was actually about to get up, but then reconsidered that again and leaned over to him to place a brief kiss on his cheek, while he still regarded her with a sceptical look in his eyes. Then she struggled to her feet, feeling weirdly unbalanced and walked out without looking back again, doing what she was best at: running away from her problems…

…

…


	9. New mission

**9.**** New mission**

Today wasn't a day to get up… Apart from the fact that it was still far too early – indeed so very earlier that not even the sun had bothered to rise just yet – the reason for getting up, really wasn't too motivating…

After yet another night of definitely not enough sleep, which wasn't even true – once she had gotten back home yesterday, she had fallen into some kind of coma-like sleep or rather brain-death, but still it wouldn't have made a difference if she hadn't… and now Sayuri lay in her bed in the barely lit room, engaged in a fierce mind game with the clock on her nightstand, but no matter how hard she concentrated, the clock just kept ticking on, the narrow black minute hand inevitably moving towards the big twelve and now at the latest she was convinced that she didn't even have a trace of telekinetic powers… actually a pity, but the far too loud ringing of her alarm clock didn't leave her much time to regret her inability to influence time…

With an annoyed sigh, she slammed her hand onto the clock but instead of turning it off, it just fell from the small table and rolled under her bed, from where it kept on ringing perkily…

Yet another frustrated sound passed her lips, as she leaned over the edge of the bed and blindly groped for the annoying troublemaker, but it was nowhere to be found, so she had to get up after all to silence the shrill bell hammering, before her head would burst, which seemed to be just a matter of seconds now…

But at least it had served its purpose of getting her out of bed, even though she was tempted right now to just crawl back into it again and hide from the world outside… But of course she wouldn't do that – she'd be punctual – just as always… even though that was actually pointless because it really didn't matter how dead on time each single one of them was – their mission wouldn't get started before Kakashi showed up, so theoretically she could lie around here and stall for time about an hour or two longer…

Theoretically… and then today would be one of the rare, actually unprecedented occasions when their team-leader was on time and they'd have to wait for her instead, before they could set out on their mission…

This big, ominous mission…

Yesterday, right after she had gotten home, she had received a message that she was finally given a mission again. At the beginning she had been really glad about this – something to take her mind off all these things, but then she had read further and had seen that they were given this mission as the old Team7, which meant with the very person she wanted to get out of her mind at the moment…

Actually she had wanted to have some distance to him, so she could take her time to think through this whole situation and wouldn't end up with drawing wrong conclusions again… It was hard to grasp any clear thoughts with him around… he always managed to make her feel giddy and insecure… He just had to look at her and it felt like she'd melt… she really hated how powerless she was before him. Therefore keeping some distance was definitely the best right now… just enough for her to compose and settle her thoughts, so that she'd be able to make the right decision or more importantly grasp what was going on in the first place… The only thing she knew up to know was that she wouldn't give up on him yet – not before she hadn't at least tried to fix things, but she just didn't know how, which was the very reason why she needed to clear her head…

However this mission thwarted her plans somehow… How could she possibly evade him when she was forced to spend the entire day and most likely even longer with him… and then she was also supposed to concentrate on the mission – this was bound to end up bad… And then he also knew now that she had lied yesterday, when she told him she had to go somewhere this morning, since back then she hadn't known about this mission yet… Maybe she was lucky and he wouldn't notice it, but she kind of doubted that…

In spite of everything that militated against it, which was mainly her laziness and her aversion to facing her problems, she got up, got ready and started packing her things, even though she still had no idea how much she was supposed to take with her, because she didn't know how long this mission would take, which was actually quite rare… normally they got all the information there were beforehand, so they could prepare accordingly… But it seemed to have been a last minute thing… otherwise they wouldn't have only sent a message but would have ordered them to come to the Hokage first… maybe it would get really exciting…

She really missed doing missions, so she shouldn't approach this whole situation with a negative attitude, because then it was already predestined to end up bad… But it wasn't really the mission she was anxious about, but rather spending time with Sasuke, because she still wasn't sure about what to think of this whole thing… but maybe that would change in the course of this mission, so maybe it was a good thing that she was more or less forced to face this whole situation…

About an hour later, after having brought her dog to the Inuzukas, which was pretty much his second home, or even family, Sayuri walked towards Konoha's main gate, where they were supposed to meet. She had spent quite some time chatting with Hana and later also Kiba, once he woke up, which is why she was in quite a hurry right now. It's not like she was late yet, especially not by Kakashi's standards, but if she wouldn't make haste, she was rather unlikely to get there in time, which she kind of welcomed though, because she wasn't exactly too keen on getting there in the first place…

In spite of everything her head might tell her, her steps carried her relentlessly towards the spot where they were supposed to meet, just about two minutes and she'd be there. However as she only just came upon the main street of Konoha, she heard someone call her name. It took her a couple of seconds to realize so though. Although she had clearly heard it, she somehow hadn't felt addressed, but now that the realization had hit her, she came to a stop and cast a startled expression into the direction the voice had come from.

"Neji?" Now her eyes widened slightly and she was at once overcome by the memories of the last time she had seen the Hyuga and especially the memories of how they had parted…

He walked up to her, his face entirely blank and Sayuri couldn't help but to feel a little uneasy about the way he looked at her.

"Can I talk to you for a second…?" He asked in a low voice and bored his pale eyes into Sayuri's and there was something urging in them…

Talking… The last time he had wanted to talk to her had ended quite bad, so actually she wasn't too keen on talking to him, but then the last time he had been drunk and it had been dark and they had been alone, so there should be nothing for her to worry about now…

"Uhm… okay, but can we walk? I'm a bit late…" She murmured hesitantly and after a couple of seconds Neji nodded in assent, even though he didn't seem too enthusiastic about her proposal…

So they started walking again and just like the last time, Neji just didn't say anything, until they were really close to the main gate already, almost in eyeshot and now he finally felt like he had to break the silence.

"I wanted to talk to you about… you know…" He started and it was obvious that this whole thing was very difficult for him. "…I don't remember too much about that night and most things just hazily…"

He paused and came to a halt now, as he saw the other members of Sayuri's team, who had already gathered at the gate barely 30 metres away from them, so only just out of hearing distance, hopefully. He didn't want any of them to hear them, especially not that Uchiha, who was also staring at them, so he turned his back on them and planted himself in front of Sayuri, keeping her from carrying on with walking or looking at her team-mates.

"…but what I do remember shouldn't have happened…" He shook his head, as if he meant to shake off these thought, before he focussed his eyes on Sayuri again, who looked at him with an unreadable expression, which didn't really make things easier for him.

"I can't believe I really…" He closed his eyes and shook his head again. "I'm sorry… I hope you can forgive me and forget this ever happened."

There was something in his voice… he really sounded serious about this and he had this distressed look on his face, this whole thing must have really troubled him and not only him…

"Yes…" Sayuri exhaled in relief and her reaction caused a startled expression to appear on Neji's face. He didn't remember it – this was the best that could have happened…

"So we're okay…?" She asked in a soft voice and this seemed to startle Neji even more and he had to blink a couple of times in confusion.

"I guess… we are…" This sounded rather like a question, but now a likewise relieved expression manifested on Neji's face – he really wouldn't have thought it would be this easy, but it's not like he wasn't happy about that…

"Phew… I'm glad that's settled." She smiled at the Hyuga, before she peered past him and looked at her team-mates, who were now all watching her with rather curious expression, which was about the last thing she needed right now, but she was the one who had proposed to carry on walking, but then she had thought he'd start talking right away… now it was too late, but it didn't matter. At least one problem solved – maybe her streak of bad luck was coming to an end now and everything would take a turn for the better… That would really be pleasant for a change – she could really need some luck at the moment…

"I guess I gotta go then…" She looked back at Neji and received a nod in return, however then he leaned forwards and in the first second she was really afraid that he'd try to kiss her again, but he merely hugged her briefly, so he probably didn't even realize that she was as stiff as a poker, before he said goodbye and walked off again.

It took her a moment to relax again and now that Neji wasn't in front of her anymore, she had an unobstructed view on her team-mates - and they on her of course and she could already feel surges of blood rush into her face.

Why did they have to see that… especially Sasuke…? What was he supposed to think now? The last time he had literally saved her from the Hyuga, he happened to hate anyway and now she was here with him and he hugged her right in front of his eyes, as if Neji had meant him to see that… and then just a day after Sasuke had told her that he had slept with Karin… maybe he thought she wanted to make him jealous… but even if, what did it matter? If he had something with Karin why shouldn't she have something with Neji then? Even though she would never do that, but how should he know… And he really did look kind of irritated; his narrowed eyes were still focussed on Neji's back, even though he was almost gone already.

Now Sayuri finally moved towards the others, even though after this scene with Neji, she was even less inclined to do so, but she couldn't just keep standing here for even longer, so it's not like she had much of a choice…

Once she started moving, Sasuke's eyes flitted to her and scrutinized her closely, but instead of returning his gaze she looked at a point somewhat to his side, almost at Naruto again.

"Hey Sayuri-chan!" The blonde genin greeted her right away and started waving, while Sakura, who stood right next to him, pinched the bridge of her nose, as if she was fighting an oncoming headache.

"Good morning…" Sayuri murmured in a soft voice as she stepped towards them and came to a halt right next to the Uzumaki, rather than beside Sakura or Sasuke, who stood a bit apart from the others…

"Was that Neji? – What did he want?" Naruto asked bluntly and now Sayuri could literally feel numerous gazes bore into her and it was like she was overcome by stage fright and could barely open her mouth.

"Nothing special – just ran into him…" Sayuri explained, hoping that they wouldn't ask any further, even though she highly doubted that. After all, they'd probably have to wait quite some time for Kakashi to show up, so they were grateful for anything that helped shortening the waiting time – and satisfying their curiosity was quite a good way of doing so…

"Really…? Looked a bit different if you ask me…" Now it was Sakura who addressed her, which kind of surprised her at first, but not for long though… with that look on the pinkette's face it was obvious that she saw this as another chance to hook her up with the Hyuga…

"Hm…" Sayuri merely shrugged, hoping that she could put a stop to her by showing disinterest, but Sakura didn't really seem to care, but cast a piercing look at the other girl, before her eyes drifted off to Sasuke for a moment, who was leaning at the wall, right next to the huge gate, not really far away from them.

"I knew that Neji likes you." Actually this was something you talk about in a whisper; however Sakura didn't bother to lower her voice, as if she wanted to entertain her whole team…

"You two do quite a lot together lately, right? I mean you go eating, you train together and now he kind of dropped you off here…" Sakura's emerald green eyes bored into Sayuri's blue ones and it was really hard to miss the intention behind her words… She wanted Sasuke to hear this – she didn't know that there already was something between them, so she apparently tried to make sure that she wouldn't have a chance with him, while trying to convince her that Neji was a far better choice for her anyway…

Sayuri was pretty sure that Sasuke must have heard this – he wasn't deaf so there was no way he could have missed it and she wasn't so sure if that was a good or a bad thing, especially because the Haruno embellished her story somewhat and made it appear as if they'd do so all the time – even though she had only once been eating with Neji and they didn't really train that often either, it was barely worth mentioning… Maybe Sasuke would become jealous, even though she doubted that – he was too self-confident for jealousy, but maybe it would still bother him and maybe then he'd realize why that thing with Karin bothered her… Or this'll just increase his aversion towards Neji and they'd end up killing each other after all… He didn't need any big, profound reasons for that, so something like this was probably sufficient already, which would make it definitely a bad thing – and besides, she didn't want him to think that she had something with the Hyuga, that would just end up as another complication, as if things weren't complicated enough already…

"And you also vanished with him from the festival…" Sakura added after Sayuri still hadn't reacted to her statement after quite some time.

"Yes! That was pretty rude – you didn't even say goodbye!" Naruto exclaimed and looked at her with his arms crossed in front of his chest, waiting for her to explain her behaviour.

"I wasn't feeling too well…" Sayuri murmured and there was something relieved in her voice. This hadn't worked out – Sasuke knew what had happened after the festival, so there was no way he could interpret more into this than there actually was – if he had done so at all…

"No reason for not saying goodbye." Naruto still looked at her with that lecturing expression, but he was somehow overdoing it, so it was hard to take him seriously…

"That was a rather spontaneous thing… but I'm sorry…" Sayuri apologized and looked down, mainly because she had problems with keeping a straight face, though, however Naruto apparently thought that she really felt guilty after his sermon and now an uneasy expression flitted over his face.

"Oh, nevermind – you weren't the only one who just took off like that, right teme?" He turned towards Sasuke and raised an eyebrow expectantly, probably waiting for the Uchiha to apologize for his behaviour, too. However the raven-haired man didn't even show if he had heard him at all, but leaned with his eyes closed and his hands in his pockets against the wall, until he opened his black eyes suddenly and peered to the right.

"Looks like everyone is here then…" Kakashi suddenly appeared and said that, as if he'd been the one who had waited here all this time…

"You're late!" Everyone but Sasuke exclaimed simultaneously, which had become some kind of habit for them and same as always the Hatake looked nearly surprised about this, as if he hadn't even been aware of that…

"You really are no morning persons, huh?" The grey-haired Jounin scratched his head sheepishly, apparently unaware of the relation between his constant tardiness and the subdued mood within his team, while he stepped towards them and now they could also see another man, apparently their client, who must have been behind the Hatake the entire time, but because of his rather thin and lanky frame, he had been concealed by the fairly broad Jounin.

He looked kind of like a salesman, as if he was born with a suit on and there was something restless and hectic about his movements; how he always adjusted his glasses and ran his hand through the three or four hairs on his head, which kept you from referring to him as bald…

"So what about the mission?" Naruto went straight down to business and stared with an impatient look in his deep blue eyes at his team-leader.

"It's a B-rank mission –we're supposed-"

"What? Only B? - B is for boring…" The blonde interrupted the Hatake. "How about an A like amazing or S like spectacular for a change, huh?"

"_Spectacular_?" Sakura frowned at him, apparently not convinced by Naruto's idea, but he just shrugged sheepishly and focussed his eyes on their team-leader then…

"Highly unlikely – with two genin in our team 'B' is as good as it gets…" Kakashi explained and first looked at Naruto then at Sasuke, who both hadn't taken the Chunin exam yet, even though they were far above Chunin level anyway and it's not like they had never done far more dangerous things, so actually this was quite ridiculous…

"And in case you didn't notice, our client is already here, so I'd be grateful if you'd save your complaining for the next mission and pay your full attention to this one right now…"

"Hmm… fine…" Naruto grumbled, still feeling a little unchallenged though…

"Good – so this here is Udono Gennai" He nodded towards the man beside him, who still hadn't said a word yet and looked fairly nervous, the way his pupils darted rapidly from one side to the other, as if he feared someone would jump around the next corner any second… "He is supposed to bring a very valuable parcel from a small town nearby to Takigakure – so it's our job to make sure that it really gets there…"

"That's it?" The blonde grimaced and looked with a rather unhappy expression at his team-leader, as if he could move him to change something about their orders… "Mainly keeping some thieves away – isn't that a C actually?"

"Actually yes, but Gennai's employer is willing to pay the full sum for a B-rank mission, which tells you something about the value of that parcel… we will definitely encounter enemies, so you shouldn't take it lightly…" Kakashi sighed and cast a meaningful glance at Naruto, which was probably supposed to silence him, but the blonde didn't seem to notice so…

"But what is in that parcel anyway?" The Uzumaki furrowed his brows and observed the noticeably small and nervous man next to the Hatake, who was even twitching at times, as if he had some kind of caffeine-shock, but this time it was Sakura to react to his question.

"That's none of our concerns – we're only supposed to get it there, so don't be so nosy!" The pinkette lectured her team-mate and caused an uneasy expression to flit over his face…

"Ah I know that Sakura-chan…" He raised his hands in front of his chest in a defensive manner and cast an artificial smile at the Haruno.

"So is everyone ready then?" The Hatake asked and looked from one of his students to the next, receiving some more or less enthusiastic nods in return. "Good, then let's go…"

…

…

One and a half hours later, they had already reached that small town, Kakashi had been talking about and were now standing in front of a huge museum, while Kakashi and their client had gone into it to pick up that mysterious parcel, they were supposed to protect…

"So… what do you think it is…?" Naruto had climbed onto a narrow balustrade and was balancing on top of it with a pensive expression on his face.

"It's something out of this museum, so maybe some kind of artefact, or something…" Sakura mused and sat down on the outer windowsill of the huge, but mirrored windows, which was barely above ground height.

"Hah! So you're curious after all!" Naruto pointed at the pinkette with a triumphant expression on his face, which vanished pretty soon though, as she stroke against the railing and nearly caused Naruto to fall off it, if he hadn't concentrated chakra into his feet right in time…

"I'm not curious! You asked and I answered – that's it!" The Haruno crossed her arms in front of her chest and snorted snappishly, before she turned her head to the side, as the door next to her flew open.

"Huh!" Sakura gasped in surprise and leaned away, so she wouldn't get hit by the heavy door and then got up as she caught sight of her sensei and their client.

"So, now our mission gets started. From what I've just heard, there are quite a lot of people who would like to get hold of this here." He nodded to the side, at the small brown shoulder bag, Gennai was almost frantically clutching to his chest. "So keep your eyes open…"

"Pfft… for a few bandits… big deal…" Naruto rolled his eyes and crossed his arms behind his head.

"Yes for a few bandits, so let's go now." Kakashi sighed, clearly annoyed by Naruto's complaining, before he started walking, but was held back by their client.

"W-wait…!" He stuttered and stared with wide eyes at the five ninja in front of him, who regarded him with slightly impatient expressions. "You don't want m-m-me to carry this… r-right?"

"That was the plan… it's easier to keep an eye on you this way…" The Hatake explained, but his words failed to have a reassuring effect on the slim, nearly bald man.

"Huhm…" He whimpered and bit into his bottom lip, which looked as if it was shivering…

"Take it easy." Naruto walked up to him and nudged his shoulder, causing their client to flinch, as if it had really hurt him. "This mission is a piece of cake – we are the best team there is in Konoha – so there's nothing for you to worry about."

"If you say so…" Gennai said, not sounding too convinced, though and he was still scanning through the area in a nervous, almost frantic manner – he kind of seemed like a scared rabbit… And apparently for nothing – the first part of their journey went by without any incidents, they didn't encounter anyone except for some smaller groups of ramblers, who looked anything but dangerous, though.

In spite of that, Gennai still didn't calm down and didn't seem to trust them in the least, in fact the more distance they covered without any occurrences the more frightened he seemed to become, so they decided to take a break, once they reached a tiny locality, before he'd suffer from a heart attack.

The moment Naruto caught sight of a small inn, there was no holding back for him any longer and he convinced, or rather forced the others to eat their lunch there. Wasn't even a bad idea, this way they wouldn't have to touch their provisions already, even though they weren't really worried that they didn't have enough with them, considering how short this mission presumably was…

It was a really nice and cozy tavern, mainly kept in warm, inviting colours and even though it was still broad day, only very little light came through the stained windows, so the small dining area was mainly lit by the candles which stood on every single table in the separate dinettes and which added to the snug atmosphere.

The six of them took a seat in one of those, as close to the entrance as possible, just in case, they'd have to make a quick escape, even though they really didn't think that was necessary…

Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi sat on one side of the table, whereas Sakura and Sayuri sat on the other, with their client in their midst. They had already ordered their food and most of them had gotten it by now, so the remaining ones stared with envious eyes at the full plates, the delicious smell causing their mouths to water…

"Wh-who ordered onigiri?" The waitress, who now brought the last two plates, stuttered nervously, with a conspicuous blush on her cheeks, which didn't get any better as Sasuke raised his arm. Her eyes widened at once and a shocked expression appeared on her face, even though he didn't even bother to look at her.

"H-here!" She nearly threw the plate onto the table in front of him, not wasting any time, however then she dropped the other one she had still been holding and which happened to be Naruto's and it fell with a loud rattling to the ground and burst into pieces.

"Oh-no" She gasped, her face as red as a tomato and she started apologizing profusely to Sasuke, even though it wasn't his food that now covered the floor.

"I'll get you a new portion – just a minute!" She cried out and rushed off as fast as she could, while Naruto's face was still contorted into a silent scream and he stared through shocked eyes from his table neighbour to the noodles which covered the tiled floor now and back to his table neighbour.

There was a profound silence once she left, until some further rattling sounds and several loud and agitated voices were heard in the kitchen.

"Oh my goodness – what was with her?" Sakura stared with a disbelieving and kind of disgruntled look on her face into the direction of the kitchen, before she shook her head and went back to eating.

"Phew…" Naruto sighed, as he looked at all these eating people around him and then at the empty space in front of him, before his eyes travelled to the side and he shot a sly, almost envious look at his table-neighbour.

"Can you hold back the next time maybe – I'd actually like to eat something, you know…"

"Tze…" Sasuke closed his eyes briefly, as if he tried to block out Naruto's presence, before he started eating his food, still under Naruto's envious eyes.

"Hmm…" Naruto growled and not only him, but also his stomach. He had been the one who had proposed eating here and right now he was the only one who didn't do so… Or maybe not… It didn't seem as if Sayuri, who sat right in front of him had eaten anything either, even though she had a plate standing right in front of her, but it looked entirely untouched yet…

A light frown appeared on Naruto's face, as he watched his team-mate, who had been acting rather weirdly the entire day…

"You're okay?" Naruto enquired in a calm voice, but the violet-haired girl didn't seem to feel addressed, so he raised an eyebrow and then added: "Sayuri?"

"Huh?" She turned her head up and cast a perplexed look at the people in front of her, until her eyes came to a halt on Naruto, who then raised his voice again.

"You've been so quiet all day… is everything okay?" The Uzumaki asked again, with a really concerned tone in his voice.

And now all eyes were turned to Sayuri and she felt really uneasy about all this attention she really couldn't need right now.

"Uhm… I'm just a bit tired… that's all…" She rattled off her general excuse for just about everything at the moment and nodded her head, as if she meant to lend weight to her statement and really hoped they'd just buy that and go back to eating, but the three men in front of her kept staring at her and she didn't know about the people next to her, but she could hear their client whimper again and gnaw his teeth – as if he saw his life in danger because of her tiredness…

"I really have to apologize for before… Here's your soup – on the house of course." This time a male waiter came to their table and finally handed Naruto his food and therewith drew his attention off Sayuri, which she only welcomed…

"Finally!" Naruto exclaimed happily, completely forgetting that he was actually upset about all the waiting, but at least he got it for free now, so that was totally okay.

Now it was Sayuri who watched how the blonde happily slurped his soup, before she went back to picking at her food listlessly and used her chopsticks to scratch lines and shapes into her rice. She really didn't know why she had ordered anything at all; she wasn't in the least hungry, so this was pretty much a waste of money, but then it would have looked stupid if she alone hadn't done so and Naruto would have probably persuaded her anyway, so it didn't really matter.

Even though she tried to fight it, her thoughts were still circling around that waitress and her obvious attraction to Sasuke… She had thought that he must have had a hard time with meeting girls while he had been with Orochimaru, but apparently he only had to walk into a stupid restaurant and all female beings fell for him right away… He didn't even have to do anything for that… he hadn't even looked at her and still… but wasn't that actually a good thing? After all she had been really pretty and so very obviously interested in him and yet he hadn't even wasted a single glance at her… So shouldn't she actually feel relieved? If she wouldn't know it better, she would say she was jealous… Well maybe that was true… Just because she had never really been jealous yet and had thought that she just wasn't the kind of person for that, didn't mean she wasn't… She had never thought she'd become this pathetic either and would cling to a man, who obviously didn't feel the same way for her as she did for him…

She remembered what she had always thought about Ino and especially Sakura, as they had still been actively chasing after Sasuke and hadn't even given up after some really blunt rejections… On the one hand, she had admired their self-confidence and determination – being rejected really hurts the ego, so you really had to give them credit for their perseverance and simply the fact that they always struggled back to their feet – here again especially Sakura, because she hadn't simply been attracted, but really in love with him… In spite of that, she had sometimes felt embarrassed for them; she just couldn't understand how you could so obstinately try to force yourself on someone, when he so obviously didn't want that… She had always sat there on her high horse all alone and merely as an observer and yet she had pitied them, even though she hadn't even realized that back then… And now, she was far worse than them… she didn't force herself on someone, though – at least not yet and she hoped that wouldn't happen – but she kept on lying to herself and bended and twisted the truth until she was satisfied with it… Actually she had always thought that she was a rather bad liar, but right now it seemed to be the opposite, in fact she was even so good that she could lie to herselfwithout even noticing it…

"Uhm… Don't you want to eat anything?" Naruto addressed her in a rather hesitant manner and now Sayuri noticed that even though he's been the last one to get his meal, he was the first one to have finished it already and from how he was looking at her still full plate it was easy to guess what he actually meant.

"Still hungry?" She cast a mild smile at the blonde and watched how his big blue eyes widened a bit and he shook his head vehemently, while murmuring some feeble excuses to himself.

"There." She shoved her plate to the other side of the table and couldn't help but to grin about Naruto's disbelieving and already enthusiastic expression.

"Thanks a lot!" He laughed at the full plate in front of him, while he already gripped for the chopsticks and was just about to dig in, but then stopped in his movement and looked at the girl in front of him again.

"And you are really, _really_ sure that you don't want it?" The blonde enquired hesitantly and there was something defensive about his posture, as if he was afraid she would just snatch the plate from under his nose again…

"Uh-huh" She nodded reassuringly and now there was no holding back for Naruto any longer and he was even faster done with his second portion than Sakura was with her first.

Half an hour later, after they had more or less filled their stomachs, the six of them left the small inn and the first thing they noticed was that something about the atmosphere had changed, even though they couldn't really put a finger on why that was the case… In spite of that queasy feeling, they didn't tell their client about it, because he was a nervous wreck anyway, but kept their eyes open all the more. Kakashi had warned them that quite some people were after whatever their client was carrying with him and just because nothing had happened yet, didn't mean that it would stay this way…

Once they left behind that small locality, they came into a birch forest, which they kind of welcomed, because it didn't provide many hiding places, so in case there should be someone, they'd notice so soon enough… but then they were just as easily spottable as any opponents, so this was a double-edged sword…

"Did you hear that?" Naruto asked, after they had walked in complete silence for quite a while and earned to his surprise some rather annoyed looks in return…

"H-hear what…?" Gennai clutched his bag closer to his chest and stared with wide eyes from one side to the next, while he increased his steps a little to stand as close to Kakashi as he could. "I-is something wrong?"

"Phew…" Sakura sighed and turned her head to their client. "We are being followed ever since we left that restaurant."

"What that long?" Naruto turned around, as he was the first in their group and stared with an aghast expression at the pinkette, but as he saw the looks on everyone else's faces, he recollected himself again and crossed his arms behind his head in a casual manner.

"Hah – I knew that, of course… I just wanted to test you!" He put on an artificial smile, but wasn't really able to convince anyone…

The next second however, something about his expression changed, and the smile turned into a surprised outcry, as he was pulled into the air by his feet.

"A trap!" Sakura shrieked and then grimaced – there's a trap and Naruto would step right into it… how else could it be…?

"Sakura, Sayuri." Kakashi nodded at the two girls, who at once ran towards their client to shield him, while the Jounin pulled out a kunai and threw it at the rope at which Naruto was hanging.

Still wildly cursing Naruto fell to the ground, with a loud thud, but then jumped to his feet at once and went into a fighting stance, ready for action.

And there they stood, everyone in their assigned position, but nothing happened… Except for the twittering of some birds, Gennai's ragged breathing and the clattering of his teeth, there was not a single sound.

"False alarm." Kakashi stated eventually and then went to the place where Naruto had stepped into the trap and picked up the rope. "This could also be meant for animals… there is no one here, but keep your eyes open nevertheless…" He stated calmly and started leading the way off and again, Gennai didn't seem to trust the two girls, but ran straight to their team-leader again.

"You stepped into an animal trap…" Sakura closed up to Naruto and cast a mocking grin at the blonde.

"I didn't!" Naruto shrieked indignantly, while his brain seemed to work at a frantic speed, as he searched for anything to talk himself out of this embarrassing situation.

"Of course you didn't – you just hung there because you needed some fresh air…" The pinkette said in a sarcastic tone and rolled her eyes.

"No… I - well I kind of sacrificed myself, so none of you would step into it…" He grimaced and crossed his fingers, hoping she would buy that.

"Haha… how very considerate of you." The pink-haired kunoichi smirked, but then an alarmed look invaded her face.

"Watch out!" She cried out and pushed the Uzumaki to the side, only just getting him out of the way of a shuriken, which would have otherwise hit him.

"What?" Naruto screeched in surprise, but just a second later they were already surrounded by numerous hooded men and the only sound was that of Gennai's desperate squeals, once he noticed what was going on.

"Stay back." Kakashi murmured calmly and tried to shake off the man who was frantically clinging to his upper arm and somehow restricted him in his movements, but that one just wouldn't let go of him, or was maybe so paralysed by fear that he just wasn't able to…

With an annoyed sigh, Kakashi pulled his arm away, causing their client to fall to the ground, which he hadn't intended, though and took out a handful of kunai, which he at once threw at the bandits closest to him, who at that moment started their attack, too.

Naruto didn't hesitate a second to jump into the first fray, not in the least to make up for that shame from before, by showing how great a ninja he actually was.

Sayuri made her way to their client, who still sat there on the mossy ground, right behind Kakashi, however their opponents seemed to do so, too, so it wasn't really easy to reach him.

She ducked down to dodge something fast that came flying at her and only just evaded it, but then she felt a sudden pain in her shoulder and as she looked to the side, she saw that the left strap of her backpack was severed and the dagger had cut through to her skin as well and just a second later there was another knife which was aimed at the other strap but she managed to dodge it.

Apparently they didn't know who of them had the parcel, so they tried to get all their bags… She erected herself again and drew a kunai, planning to retaliate the injury she had sustained, but before she could even raise her dagger high enough to throw it, the two men, immediately in front of her fell to the ground already.

With a confused look in her eyes, she scanned through the area, not really understanding what had happened, because the others were busy with their own opponents, so it was rather unlikely that it had been any of them… she didn't get much time to think about it though, because a second later, a really big man, with a katana raised menacingly above his head, ran into her direction and even though the fierce look on his face, his height and not to forget the fact that he was armed should have made him look really dangerous, there was just something about the way he moved, a certain clumsiness maybe, which made it really hard to feel intimidated at his sight…

This time she finally threw the kunai, but before it could hit the man, she saw how his eyes rolled back and he already had another kunai sticking in the side of his neck. Again with a puzzled expression, Sayuri looked into the direction where the kunai must have come from and there was only Sasuke, who fought against a group of bandits, though and yet he kept on casting side-glances at her. Then her view of him was obscured as another rogue-nin ran into her direction, but he didn't really get far, because a moment later he had Sasuke's katana in his stomach - so it had been him after all…

Everyone around her went down like flies - she didn't have to do anything… He kept everyone away from her, even though she really didn't need that… they were numerous but really not strong… she could have handled them perfectly well by herself and should have done so, considering how far behind she was in her training… she really didn't need any protection, but apparently it wasn't up to her to decide about that…

She detached her eyes form the Uchiha, who was now only a couple of metres away from her and searched for Gennai among the chaos and found him sitting against a tree, right behind Sakura and Kakashi, but then a shuriken hit the tree trunk right above his head and he crawled backwards, while emitting a high-pitched squeal. Now that he was away from his bodyguards, the few remaining rogue-nins took their chance at once to go for him and instead of staying where the ninja who've been hired to protect him were, he started running off and was soon surrounded by three men, with pieces of cloth in front of their mouths, which made them unrecognizable.

Gennai sunk down to his knees, once he found himself trapped and started pleading and begging.

"Where is the necklace?" One of the thieves murmured and stepped towards the kneeling man, while the others made sure to keep the Konoha-nins busy.

"H-here – take it but let me live…!" Gennai took the bag off his shoulder and shoved it forwards.

Apparently they didn't only have to look for opponents but also watch out that their own client wouldn't thwart their mission…

"What are you doing?" Naruto screeched as he saw what the Udono was doing and at once rushed towards the cowardly man, but the rogue-nin had already gripped for the brown bag and was running off.

"Stop!" The blonde screamed and rushed after him at once and now the remaining two thieves, who were still able to stand on their feet, took off as well, leaving their wounded comrades behind without looking back.

Maybe they weren't really strong, but they were definitely good at running away and it seemed really unlikely that Naruto would get him in time, but then he heard a female voice and the next second the rogue-nin flew backwards with such a speed, that Naruto couldn't even duck in time and was knocked over by the heavy body.

"Well done." He heard Kakashi's voice, but only saw stars in front of his eyes and even though he tried to get up he just couldn't.

"That was close." Sakura sighed and took the bag away from the unconscious man, before she shoved him off the Uzumaki with her foot and murmured. "Hey, no time for being lazy – get up."

"Huh?" The blonde murmured drowsily and stared through half-shut eyes at something pink, which slowly but surely assumed shape. "Sakura-chan?"

"I think he fell on his head…"Sayuri peered down at him with a worried look on her face.

"So what?" Sakura shrugged. "It's not like he ever uses it…"

"Hey!" Naruto sat up and shot an indignant look at his team-mate.

"See? I knew it…" The Haruno grinned dryly, but then started laughing as she saw the sulky expression on Naruto's face.

…

…

After this first incident they kept on walking through the wood, which seemed to have no end. The sun was already setting and still they seemed to be caught in a mass of ever denser green, even though they had planned on reaching a small village before nightfall so they could spend the night there… but it didn't really look as if there was even a single building anywhere nearby, just masses of trees, not really birches anymore, but rather pines and larches and even some cedars, so it was over with clear sight and moving in this area became far more arduous as well…

"Can you see anything?" Kakashi asked Naruto, who had climbed up one of the highest trees to have a look over their surroundings.

"Nothing, we're like in the middle of nowhere…" Naruto called back and turned around on the peek of the tree. "But there are some small rock formations over there, with fewer trees – we could stay there!"

"Good – come down then." The grey-haired Jounin stated, but then tilted his head to the side, as he felt someone pull at his sleeve.

"What did he mean with '_stay there'_?" Gennai looked up at the considerably taller man and looked a little like a small child next to him.

"We'll spend the night here – unless you prefer to carry on walking, that is…" Kakashi regarded him with a raised eyebrow, just all too well remembering his constant complains…

"But we can't sleep outside, like… _savages_ or something – what if we're attacked again?" He stuttered timidly and roamed his eyes from one side to the other, as if he expected someone to jump out of the next bush any second.

"We'll set a watch for the night – there is nothing for you to worry about." He tried to calm him, but it didn't seem as if he'd manage to…

Nevertheless, they set off to the point Naruto had pointed at and once they reached it, it was already dark. They set up their night camp, at the foot of some rock fragments, which provided some protection from the sharp wind, when another problem called attention to itself: Gennai hadn't thought it necessary to take a sleeping bag with him, because he had been sure they'd sleep in a hostel or something of that sort. Therefore Kakashi, who volunteered for the first watch left him his and still the Udono had something to complain about.

"Don't you have a mat or something? The ground is entirely stony and it's so cold – can't you light a fire at least?" The hairless man groused and was shaking like a leave.

"We don't want to call attention to ourselves, so no." Kakashi explained patiently, before Naruto could do so, because he had already opened his mouth to put their client in his place.

"Huhm…" The Udono grumbled, but walked to his or rather Kakashi's sleeping bag and crawled completely into it, until nothing but the bald spot on his head could be seen… After casting some further slightly irritated glances at their client, everyone but Kakashi did it like him and vanished inside their sleeping bags as well.

There wasn't a single cloud in the sky and the dark blue firmament was illuminated by millions of stars, which speckled the sky like glitter and nearly made it look bright again…

Sayuri pulled the covers up to her chin and gazed with a faraway look in her eyes into the night sky, trying to make out any of the few constellations she could remember, but there were just so many stars; they rather looked like gleaming mist, so it was impossible to distinguish them separately… She tried to squint then, thinking she could make the whole sky turn silver, but it didn't work so well, it was like there was a milky veil in front of her eyes that hindered her from her endeavours.

But still it was breathtaking; she wasn't so sure if she had ever realized just how high the sky was… How infinitely high… There was nothing comparable to it – no mountains, no clouds, not even the stars proved to be an adequate benchmark. And as she lay there and lost herself in fruitless attempts at simply grasping what infinity was, she was overwhelmed by a weird feeling, some pressure in her chest, as if the weight of all the things she didn't understand tried to crush her and she was somehow certain that the ground underneath her would give way and she would fall into a hole as deep as the sky was high.

Yet she just couldn't avert her eyes from the stars, and kept on watching them with a mixture of thrill and earnest, profound awe. Just the mere beauty of the night time sky; you never saw this many stars in Konoha, not with all the lights of the surroundings and so on… A major advantage of being far away from any kind of civilisation, even though a heating or at least a warm blanket, or like Gennai had proposed a bonfire would be really nice…

It was biting cold and not even the rocks behind them or the trees surrounding them were able to break the wind, so it wasn't really surprising that her whole body was shivering; the far too thin sleeping bag provided hardly any protection from the cold. Really unfavourable conditions for falling asleep, but it's not like that would make a difference – there were just too many things that kept her awake lately and one of those was lying on the ground not too far away from her.

Up to now, this mission hadn't given her much clarity, even though she hadn't really expected it to anyway, she just felt all the more confused now… still because of that stupid waitress, but now also because of these fights from before… why hadn't he let her fight? Did he think she wasn't capable of handling these weaklings? Their last training hadn't really gone that well, but that didn't mean she was entirely useless… He actually knew she could do better, or at least she hoped so, but as it seemed she had sunken in his estimation – why else should he have patronized her like this…? But thinking about this didn't really help her with coming to any conclusions… and she didn't really make it easy for herself… in one moment she thought about all the good things about him and those were really numerous and it became almost impossible to imagine being without him, and then at other times, like now for example, she mainly saw the things which bothered her, which were definitely numerous and also grave as well, but still if she thought about leaving him she could feel a growing despair, not in the least because of her own helplessness. She kept telling herself that she had a choice and yet it didn't really feel like that… At least it didn't seem to be a fair choice – it was either self-deceit and hurt, or loneliness and hurt, even though she still hoped there'd be a way around all of that…

A weary sigh passed her lips, as she finally managed to tear her eyes away from the starlit sky and tilted her head to the side, to look at the other people. They seemed to be fast asleep already, everyone but Kakashi at least, who was sitting on top of one of the rock fragments, the form of which reminded a little of a trident and gazed into the sky as well.

Her body was still shaken by occasional tremors, so she drew up her knees and wrapped her arms tightly around them before she rested her chin on them, hoping she could stop her teeth from chattering this way. Her eyes drifted to Sasuke again, even though she hadn't meant them to, but it's not like she could help it.

He was lying not so far away from her and even had his face turned into her direction, but his hands were resting in front of it, so she couldn't see too much of his features, but his eyes were closed and he seemed sound asleep. Just as always there was something calm and serene about his sleeping form and at that moment it was hard to believe that he could ever do something wrong and she just wanted to be close to him and lie there in his arms…

A feeling of bitter-sweet melancholia came over her, as she looked at the man she undeniably had feelings for and then thought about how she apparently had a false image of him… Just imagining that he didn't sleep alone… that these lips she loved so much were also kissing someone else…

She really wanted this to work out… really did… but how could she do so without losing herself? She was pushed into a role she didn't want to play and yet she didn't do anything about that… She had too much to lose now, so this was nothing to take on lightly…

She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath in, and when she opened them again, she stared into the coal black eyes of the very man she just couldn't get out of her mind lately. A slightly startled expression flitted over her face; she had been sure he was sleeping already, but apparently he was pursuing the same activity as she did, which would be voyeurism…

She ran her tongue over her dry lips and parted them slightly; somehow she wanted to say something, at least mouth some words, as if that would form some kind of connection between them, the kind of connection she wanted to believe they had anyway, even though it was night, everyone was sleeping and she couldn't think of anything to say anyway, so this was pointless… therefore she closed her mouth again and averted her eyes from his, before she turned her back on him and crawled deeper into her sleeping bag, hoping for someone to come along and just club her over the head, so she could finally stop thinking about all these things and drift off into sleep…

…

…


	10. Block of ice

**10.**** Block of ice**

The next day Sayuri was woken up by numerous, muted voices, even though it was still thick night and pitch dark. It took her a couple of minutes to realize that her head was still inside the sleeping bag, in which there was now a cozy, warm and stifling air. The dark cloth kept all light from reaching her and she didn't really feel like changing anything about that…

Still she crawled out of it, not in the least because the oxygen was slowly but surely running out. Once her head emerged from under the covers she was welcomed by the far too bright and yet somewhat milky rays of the rising sun and not to forget the chilly air, which felt all the more biting in contrast to that humid atmosphere inside her sleeping bag – not that the air outside was any less damp, just different.

She propped herself up on her elbows and ran a hand through her dishevelled hair, before she roamed her eyes around, until she found the others. Everyone but Naruto and Gennai was already awake, which made three people then and those had gathered at the spot Kakashi had sat at last night and were talking to each other, not really loud actually and yet they had woken her up.

She stretched her arms over her head and tried to stifle a yawn, before she dropped her arms again, but pulled them back with a grimace on her face, as they landed on the wet exterior of her sleeping back, which was entirely drenched with morning dew. With an annoyed sigh, she rose to her feet and wiped her hands on her coat, before she scrutinized the two sleeping people again, but then went to the group around Kakashi.

"Good morning…" She muttered drowsily and drew all eyes towards her. Sakura was sitting on one of the smaller rocks and had her hands folded in her lap, while Sasuke and Kakashi were leaning against the higher part of the rock fragment right in front of the pink-haired kunoichi.

"Morning." They greeted her back, before Kakashi carried on explaining their plans for this day and therewith brought Sakura's attention back to him, while Sasuke kept staring at her with an inscrutable expression in his coal black eyes and something about it made her feel really uneasy… she didn't even have the faintest idea of what he was thinking, but could think of at least a hundred different things…

"We are about three hours behind the schedule we have set, but we should be able to reach Taki-Gakure by this evening at the latest." The grey haired Jounin explained, while he leaned back against the rock behind him. "We'll set off once everyone is awake."

"You want me to '_help out'_ a bit?" Sakura enquired in a probing tone and cast a brief side-glance at the two sleepyheads, who were still snoring loudly and didn't look like they'd wake up any time soon…

"There's no need to – we'll start gathering things for breakfast and hopefully they have woken up by themselves when we're ready…" The Hatake said and grimaced as he perceived how Naruto started sleep-talking and what he said caused an embarrassed blush to appear on Sakura's cheeks and she had a hard time not to rush towards the blonde and kick him straight out of his pipe dreams…

"Good…." The Hatake raised his voice to drown out the babble of the Uzumaki.

"Someone has to get water and we need some wood for a fire – dry one at best…" He added and cast a sceptical look over the bushes and trees surrounding them, which were all dripping with morning dew and to his left there was a slight slope in the terrain and the lower lands were entirely covered with morning mist, which lingered around the dark trees like a ghostly carpet and concealed the ground entirely, like a descent into a cloud…

"I'll search for wood." Sayuri proposed, as she saw that the Uchiha was still or again, looking at her – she couldn't quite tell as she'd been careful to avoid his gaze – and Kakashi seemed to have noticed so, too, at least he shot a piercing glance at the raven-haired man to his right and Sakura looked kind of startled as well…

"Okay, do so…" Their team-leader nodded his assent and now shot an at least equally piercing look at Sayuri, so she didn't waste any second to walk off, or rather flee without letting it show…

She leaped down the rocks again and tiptoed through their camp, mindful not to make any noise which might arouse the two sleeping men, even though she could have probably dropped a bowling ball onto their heads and they wouldn't have noticed…

It was highly unlikely that she'd find anything dry here, not with all the morning fog and dew… still she tried it by heading eastwards, straight into the sun, which hardly made it through the dense foliage though, but it was at least worth a try… Either way she had gotten away from there and had something to occupy herself with right now, so it wasn't too bad…

After roughly fifteen minutes, she had gathered just enough wood to create a fire the size of a tea-light – definitely not enough to serve their purpose, so she kept on walking and peered under every rock or root, which might provide any protection from moisture, but with rather modest success, until she found a small burrow, between some thick roots kind of like a nesting place, with a lot of dried grass and sticks in it. She knelt down on the ground and blindly grabbed deep into the dark hole, until her upper body nearly vanished inside of it, trying to enclose her hand on as much of the dry and also warm material there was inside.

"Ouch…!" She jerked her hand back as a sudden pain shot through it and observed with a shocked expression how a semi-circular row of tiny red drops appeared on her skin right underneath her thumb. She shook her hand lightly, trying to ease the pain, when she heard a hissing sound and focussed her attention on the shadowed hole at her feet again and stared at a really angry looking badger, not surprising though – after all she must have woken him up and had also just destroyed his home, or had at least tried to – the few sticks she had actually gotten were hardly worth mentioning…

Great. She saw a dark hole, which was filled with straw and other nesting material and was on top of it all still warm and yet she hadn't even considered that there might be an animal inside… If you're gonna be dumb you gotta be tough… If she had thought before acting she wouldn't have a bite injury now…

She placed her other hand around the injured one and started healing it, while she observed the still hissing and snarling badger, which seemed to become more and more furious with every second she was still there and was almost out of its burrow by now.

Sayuri was still pondering on whether she should reach into the hole again or not, but then decided against it, because she wasn't really keen on losing a limb, so she finally relieved the badger of her presence, which he apparently saw as a personal victory - at least he snorted boastfully and retreated back into his burrow, while emitting some hissing or sneezing sounds.

With a rather frustrated expression, Sayuri looked down at the few sticks she had found – it really weren't many, but they hadn't had high expectations from the start, so it should be okay… it was enough to light at least a small bonfire and since they didn't plan on staying here for long, it should do.

After she had squeezed all the sticks and the straw into her pockets, so she wouldn't have to carry them, Sayuri headed back towards their camp, without bothering to look out for any more usable firewood, when she heard a sound, something that didn't fit into the early morning atmosphere, here in the forest…

An alarmed expression appeared on her face, as she scanned the area for any movement, but she couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. With a hand on her side pouch, she carried on walking, still casting some nervous glances into all directions, until she perceived another, this time more conspicuous sound and came to a stop. She crouched down slightly and peered into the direction the sound had come from and now finally saw something, or rather someone, but the mist made it difficult to tell over the distance.

Carefully she moved forwards, staying in the covers of the numerous trees, even though the prickly pines didn't really make that easy, but then there was still the fog… By now she was convinced that it was a person and just one which was probably a good thing…

Only when she was roughly three metres away from the man, which became obvious now, did she see that he was leaning over a small brook and apparently he had noticed her now, too, at least he rose up and turned his face into her direction. Now at the latest, she knew that she had been alarmed for nothing.

"Sasuke…" She sighed in relief, even though this feeling soon yielded to tension.

She took some hesitant steps forward – it's not like she had a choice, because their camp was right behind him – but she came to a halt again, as she was only a couple of steps away from him.

"You're getting water…" Sayuri said just for the sake of saying something and looked at the bottles he was just putting into his backpack.

"Hn." He merely nodded once he was done and kept his eyes fixed on the violet-haired girl.

"Hm…" She exhaled loudly and nodded as well, while she felt that same paradoxical feeling from last night - right now she wanted to be just as far away from him as possible, while she wanted to be close to him all the same… and she couldn't quite tell which feeling prevailed…

She bit into her bottom lip and averted her eyes from the Uchiha, before she walked past him and somehow felt bad for doing so, but then she was forced to a stop, as Sasuke closed his hand around her wrist, keeping her in place. She cast a startled side-glance at him, before he slowly pulled her back until she was standing right in front of him, in the focus of his piercing gaze. She took a deep breath, already bracing herself for what he was going to say, even though she wasn't so sure about what it would be, but recently it hadn't been wrong to keep her guard up around him…

"You're acting weird lately." He stated in a blank voice and kept scrutinizing her closely.

Just a statement, not even a question – even though it was obvious that he expected her to answer or explain her behaviour. But as long as it was just a statement she would take the time to think about what to say. She wasn't ready for this conversation yet, she was nowhere near being prepared for it, because she had been too busy with trying to repress all these thoughts – she hadn't even considered that he might come to her himself and ask what was going on, but this was kind of her chance – now she didn't have to wait for the right moment, which would probably never come anyway, but could just get it over with…

"Sayuri." He frowned about the vacant expression on her face and now drew her gaze back to him, even though it was still far too hazy for his taste and he kept holding her by her wrist, as if he feared she'd run off otherwise…

"Why didn't you let me fight…?" She stalled for time, even though it really was something that occupied her, but it wasn't what he was driving at, which became pretty clear about the way he raised his eyebrows.

"You said you were tired." He explained in a calm voice and put a finger to the rip in her clothes, right at her shoulder, where the kunai had hit her yesterday.

Now Sayuri was the one who looked puzzled - not really what she had thought, at least not fully… so he hadn't patronized her because he thought she was too weak, but because he… what? Because he wanted to do her a favour? Because he was worried about her? Because he thought she was incapable after all?

"You didn't answer my question."

"… You didn't ask anything…" She kept on playing for time, but apparently he noticed so…

"Sayuri." His voice was entirely serious with a trace of impatience in it and he pushed her a bit farther backwards and it was just now that Sayuri noticed that there was a tree behind her. Even though this meant being forced into a corner, which somehow happened quite often lately, she somehow welcomed that and leaned against it, as if she needed the support, while she dropped her head a little, avoiding his gaze after all and murmured in a barely audible voice: "I… I just don't know where I stand with you…"

Now the urge to run away was predominant again, so it was probably good that he held her here, but he just didn't say anything and she didn't really know what to make of that…

"What do you mean?" He eventually broke the silence and this was exactly what Sayuri had feared – he didn't even know why the fact that he had something going with Karin bothered her, probably didn't even know that it bothered her at all – she hadn't told him yet, so it wouldn't really be surprising… But how could she explain that to him…?

She'd really like to scream at him and just let everything out – but that wouldn't be good… She was really bad at this whole screaming-thing… it just wasn't her way of handling things and she had come to accept that… What other choice was there? She did all the screaming in her head, while in reality she handled things by not speaking about them. No raising of voice, no defensiveness, just… submission. It was much simpler than engaging in fights and discussions that would end up with her drawing the short straw anyway, which would only make her feel worse and doom her to think through the entire argument over and over again, until she'd eventually come up with something she could have said instead, so things would have turned out in her favour – just always too late then… So by choosing to remain silent she could mostly avoid all trouble and forget anything ever happened, hoping that things would sort themselves out… Up to now it had worked, but this was a completely new situation and she doubted that she could just keep on handling things this way… But then she really didn't know what to do now… What could she say to make him understand her?

"For example… well… you are quite contradictory – you say you wouldn't care about what other people think and yet you insist on hiding whatever there is between us, because I don't even know what that is myself… so why don't you want anyone to know, when you don't care anyway? – and then you also left just like that and told me to go away and sometimes it feels like I was just an affair for you and you don't really want to be with me…" She paused for a moment and tried to arrange her thoughts, which really wasn't easy, especially not with the way her heart was beating so frantically in her chest…

"…and I… I really hope I'm wrong… because I… well… … I like you… a lot…" This was the first time she actually told him what she felt for him and yet she couldn't even look at him, but kept her eyes fixed on his chest and literally felt how her cheeks were on fire – why had she bothered to collect wood at all, they could warm their breakfast at her face…

Now came the unpleasant, or rather the even more unpleasant part of what she meant to say, so she hurried to get it over with - quick like ripping of a band-aid and before he had the chance to interrupt her: "…and I don't want to share you with Karin…"

She bit into her bottom lip, which had started trembling lightly and waited for him to finally respond, to about the first clear announcement she had ever uttered in his presence and more importantly to the fact that she had just bared her heart to him, even though more than just clumsily and she really wished there was a way to meddle with his memory, so she could change what she had just said into a sophisticated or at least fluent sentence that sounded like it hadn't just come from a five-year-old.

"_Share_?" He regarded her with a questioning gaze and now placed a hand under her chin to push her head up with light pressure, forcing her to look at him.

"You think I have something with Karin." He said in a stern voice and narrowed his eyes slightly as she nodded her head eventually and closed her eyes, already feeling how tears began to flood them, even though this was really not the time for that… How come she only felt like she had to cry when there were other people around who could witness this humiliation, which was about the last thing she wanted, but never when she was alone, no matter how hard she tried to just get rid of this suffocating feeling?

"What makes you think so?" His voice was entirely blank and uncomprehending and now Sayuri opened her eyes again and stared with a disbelieving look in her moist blue eyes at the dark haired man in front of her.

"But sh- you said so yourself." Her voice was trembling and she could hardly bear looking at him – was he about to deny that he said that?

"You asked if I ever slept with her and I did, but that's over two years ago and it happened just once." He explained calmly, but his voice remained firm and he seemed entirely unmoved by the distraught expression on Sayuri's face.

"B-but…

… really…?" She embedded her teeth in the inside of her cheek and stared with tear-dimmed eyes into Sasuke's blank face. He was right she had asked if he had '_ever'_ slept with her, not if he was still doing so, but had at once taken it for that…again a stupid misunderstanding… Karin had been lying after all, at least partly… and just because she had believed her, she had drawn false conclusions and had nearly risked her relationship with Sasuke… Maybe she should tell him what she had said, but then that would probably make things even worse, since she hadn't told him from the start – it would be yet another evidence for her lacking trust in him… Unbelievable that she had really believed in Karin… But was she supposed to just believe in him now, without any proof – wouldn't that be a bit gullible…? – especially considering where her last rash decisions had gotten her…

"You think I'm lying?" He asked coldly and scrutinized her closely, his deep black eyes burning into her widened blue ones.

That tone in his voice… he sounded angry… kind of… but she had only just shown that she didn't really trust him and didn't even talk to him about that, so his reaction was understandable, even though she wouldn't have expected this, quite frankly…

"I… no…" She shook her head and tilted it to the side a little, to avoid his piercing gaze – if there was one thing he wasn't than it was a liar, so he really didn't deserve her mistrust…

"I'm sorry…" she murmured in a low, shaky voice and twisted her hand to close her slender fingers around the hand, which he had still wrapped around her wrist, as if she was now afraid that he'd walk off… "I should have talked to you instead of drawing my own conclusions… that was really stupid…"

"Yes." He confirmed bluntly and watched how she bit into her bottom lip again and took a deep breath, as if she tried to recollect herself, even though she still looked as if she was on the verge of tears.

"I… I never meant things to turn out like this…" She whispered weakly and now the first tear started rolling down her cheek, but she brushed it away with her free hand at once and tried her best to force back the remaining ones.

"Hn." He just nodded again and made Sayuri feel all the more miserable, it seemed as if he took her lacking trust, far worse than she would have ever thought, at least his curt and brusque responses made it seem this way… She had really screwed up, he seemed really offended by what she had said – and it wasn't him who had done something wrong, but her… Apparently she was the biggest adversary to their relationship herself, if they should break up it was all her fault…

"I'm really sorry…" She murmured again and was overcome by an anxious feeling, so she forced herself to look at him again, even though it felt like gravity wouldn't allow her to turn her head up, but then she got some help as Sasuke again pushed her face upwards and brushed his thumb over her wet cheek.

She placed her hand on his and leaned her face into his palm, while she gazed with a nervous look in her watery eyes into Sasuke's unreadable face and noticed to her relief that his features weren't as firm and hard as before any more.

He peered deep into her eyes, before he pulled her into his arms and wrapped them tightly around her back. She didn't waste a second to sling her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest, while he rested his chin on her head and ran a hand over her hair absently.

"The reason why I don't want anyone to know about us is because it's no one else's business." He raised his voice in a calm tone and kept moving his hand up and down her back in a soothing manner. "I want to be with you and want no one else to interfere in our affairs, but if you feel differently about that…"

Now Sayuri turned her head up and looked with disbelieving eyes at the Uchiha-heir. He had said he wanted to be with her and he didn't seem resentful any more – otherwise he wouldn't comfort her here and even though she felt unbelievably relieved, even happy now, she just couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks. It weren't tears of joy or something, it were still the sad ones, but the smile on her face was genuine.

"Yes… no… I mean… I don't know…" She shook her head in confusion – after his words she wasn't sure any longer if she wanted anyone to know… not after the reason he had given, for not telling anyone… and fact is he was right – the moment Karin had gotten to know about them, she had tried her best to separate them again, which is why they were here, in this situation, in the first place… So maybe all this hiding wasn't so bad… if she saw it from his point of view, it really wasn't…

She sucked in her lower lip and shook her head again, before she pulled him down and pressed her lips on his in an exuberant manner, while Sasuke wrapped his arms tighter around her and pushed her against the tree behind her. They locked in a long passionate kiss and the world around them seemed to fade… It was just them… Sasuke could feel her soft, wet cheeks and perceived the salty taste of her tears and then there was also the faint floral scent he recognized as hers.

That one kiss turned into another and yet another until it became hard to tell when one kiss ended and the next began, but that wasn't important now… Churned up as Sayuri still was and after all the worry and fear – she had even been afraid that they'd break up, which seemed almost ridiculous now – she was just far too relieved that everything had taken a turn for the better and all her urges to run away had vanished entirely and she just wanted to be with him.

Still that didn't make up for the way she had behaved… She hadn't behaved like a grown up would – she had been plain childish – instead of doing anything herself she had hoped for others to take care of it. Had hoped for someone to take her by the hand and lift all the responsibility from her shoulders and lead her on a safe path so she wouldn't end up taking any risks… She couldn't carry on like this… relationships weren't safe, they weren't easy and most importantly they weren't able to look after themselves – they involved work and compromises and talking… trusting…

After a long and yet far too short time, Sasuke pulled his lips away from Sayuri's and leaned his forehead against hers, his uneven breath grazing her skin, which was still slightly reddened from the salty tears which had run over it. She had her hands cupped around his face and now trailed her fingers over his cheeks, while she looked into his eyes and received another brief kiss, which raised a happy smile on her lips.

"We should go back now…" Sasuke murmured between two kisses, but made no move to actually do so…

"Yes…" Sayuri nodded, but wrapped her arms around his neck again and drew him into yet another kiss, while she buried her fingers in his hair, but then tore her lips away again, as he swept his arms under her knees and lifted her up.

"Sasuke-" She gasped in surprise and clung to his shoulders reflexively, afraid of falling, now that he started moving into the direction of their camp.

"You're not planning on carrying me, right?" Sayuri asked in a disbelieving and slightly anxious tone – just because she had told him she didn't like the hiding, didn't mean she wanted to be this obvious either…

"Not really…" He said, but kept on walking, before he focused his eyes on Sayuri, who was looking at him as well and murmured: "You should do something about your face."

Now Sayuri's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open in shocked disbelief. "What…?" She frowned and regarded him with an offended expression.

"You cried." He stated calmly and raised an eyebrow about the relieved look which appeared on Sayuri's face, after his words.

"Oh…" She exhaled and relaxed again, before she placed her hands on her face and started healing her sore skin.

"Better?" She asked the Uchiha, once she was done and he looked at her for a long moment, with an unreadable look in his dark eyes, before he nodded his head and set her down again.

They covered the last few metres to the others in complete silence, but this time that was okay and once they reached their camp it was over with that anyway, because now even the last ones of them had gotten up and were eagerly waiting for their breakfast…

"There you are! We meant to search for you already – what took you so long?" Naruto jumped into their way and scrutinized them with a piercing gaze, his hands stemmed in his hips and he was holding something in them, which looked conspicuously like cup noodles.

"Uhm… wasn't really easy to find anything…" Sayuri stammered with a light blush on her cheeks, which Naruto didn't seem to notice though.

"But where is it?" The blonde stared with a confused expression at their empty hands and in the first moment Sayuri was sure that she must have forgotten them, but then remembered that she had put them into her pockets.

"There." She smiled lightly and pulled out her sparse pickings to present them to the Uzumaki.

"Well don't give them to me – he's our fire expert!" He pointed boldly at Sasuke. "And where's our water? No ramen without water – don't tell me you didn't find anything!" He stared with an aghast expression at the Uchiha, who just rolled his eyes in response and sighed in annoyance, before he pulled two bottles of water out of his backpack and threw them at the Uzumaki then, who nearly dropped them, as he hadn't anticipated this action and was still holding his soon-to-be breakfast in his hands.

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed, still trying to balance the bottles, before he carefully placed them on the ground and exhaled in relief, glad that he hadn't dropped them, even though it wouldn't have been that much of a big deal since they were made from plastic…

"Whoa… that was close…" He wiped a hand over his forehead. "Teme you could at least warn me!" The blonde groused, but the angry expression didn't stay long on his face, especially not as he saw the grin on Sayuri's face and couldn't help but to think that he was the reason for it…

"Let's go eat then!" He picked up the bottles again and hurried to the others, who had also been anticipating their return. The two shinobi stepped towards the little group, where Sayuri put the sticks to the ground, before Sasuke ignited them with one of his fire-jutsu. They all sat down around the admittedly really modest bonfire and began warming up their food, some tea with the herbs Sakura had collected and not to forget Naruto's noodle soup…

They chatted animatedly throughout their entire breakfast-lunch-thing and Sayuri's appetite had more than just returned – in fact she even rivalled Naruto with his black-holish stomach, which is quite something…

Once she was through with her meal, she rested her hands on the stone-covered ground and leaned back a little, while her eyes wandered over the people in front of her, until they came across Kakashi, who had a beaming smile on his face, you could even see through the mask he was wearing and as he noticed that she was looking at him, he winked at her. A puzzled frown appeared on Sayuri's face, but before she could figure out what this gesture had been about, even though she did have some kind of suspicion, their client demanded everyone's attention.

"Shouldn't we set off…? The longer we stay here the easier it would be for anyone to find us… right?" Gennai enquired in a timid voice and stared at the conspicuously smoking fire and now really understood why they couldn't have made a bonfire the night before…

"We're done here anyway, so pack together – we'll leave…" Kakashi stated and rose to his feet, which was copied by the rest of them, as well, so roughly ten minutes later, they were already on their way to Taki-Gakure again…

…

…

Just like the day before, they didn't encounter a single soul on the first part of their journey and then the sun also broke through the cloud cover in the course of the day and it became really warm, so they've had a really nice trip and had almost reached the tiny village on the outskirts of Taki-Gakure somewhat in the afternoon.

Not in the least disappointed by this rather calm and eventless journey the five members of Team7 and their client walked across a tree-lined path, with the bright sun right in front of them.

Naruto was always in the front of course, at least a step ahead of Sakura who walked next to him and looked with a contented expression into the sun, letting its bright rays warm her, while the torrents of words, coming out of Naruto's mouth, seemed to just bounce off her head, but it's not like he noticed that…

"I bet there'll be some more… don't you think? – I mean this is a B-rank mission, right? So there has to be a bit more to this…" Naruto crossed his arms behind his head and let his pupils wander from side to side, same as Gennai did all the time, only that the Uzumaki didn't look wary but rather hopeful and expectant…

"Maybe we'll come across another restaurant – I could really need something to eat… and yesterday they were also lying in wait in front of that inn… maybe today they'll do so, too. Then we could first stuff ourselves and then work off some calories afterwards, don't you think, Sakura-chan…?" Naruto pondered aloud and found himself in the focus of Sakura's irritated glare a few seconds later and he could feel his blood run cold in an instant.

"Oh! I mean… _I_ can work off some calories… You don't have to…. Ehehe…you look great as you are – you could eat an entire horse and it wouldn't make a difference…" Naruto stammered nervously trying to soothe the Haruno, but his words seemed to have the exact opposite effect… and it didn't really take too long for him to notice so… Once again he had put his foot in his mouth … instead of making things better, his poor excuses only made things worse, which you could easily tell from the colour in Sakura's face, which kind of served as an anger-meter.

"Baka! I could _never_ eat so much as a horse!" The pinkette groused, even though she did know that the Uzumaki hadn't meant that she was so fat that she could eat a horse and no one would notice, but she groused anyway, simply because she liked twisting the words in his mouth and maybe it would also have the pleasant side-effect of shutting him up for some time…

"I know – did I say horse? I mean a little… tiny… candy… pony-thingy…"Naruto grimaced and now saw a violently throbbing vein on Sakura's forehead and couldn't help but to feel intimidated, if not afraid for his life…

"Ehem… forget it…" He waved his arms in a soothing manner in front of his chest, while he slowed down his steps and left the top position to Sakura.

"Yo, Kakashi-sensei?" Did you hear that, too?" Naruto eyed the grey-haired Jounin from the corner of his eyes, once he was on a height with him and their client.

"What? Where?" Gennai's eyes widened and he gripped for Kakashi's arm like a scared little boy, who sighed in annoyance before he cast a questioning glance at the blonde.

"I didn't hear anything…" He said in a muted voice and raised an eyebrow as he saw the amused expression on Naruto's face.

"Me neither…" Naruto's grin grew wider as he saw the dumbfounded expression on Gennai's face. "I just meant to ask around a bit and hear how it was with you…"

"…"

To his dismay no one reacted any further to his little joke so they carried on walking in silence for some time, until Naruto couldn't stand the boredom any longer and that's what it was boredom – one of the most boring missions he had ever done…

"This didn't really bring anything… why did they hire us for a mission such as this - I mean this isn't really a job for high-ranked ninja such as we are, don't you think?" The Uzumaki yawned and scratched his head.

"And I still don't know what we're protecting anyway…" The blonde side-glanced at the bag Gennai, who was walking at the other end of their row, was carrying, but apparently that one hadn't heard him and just carried on walking with his eyes just about everywhere

"It's a necklace." Sakura, who was still walking in front of the Uzumaki but not as far off as before, told him and therewith caused a perplexed expression to appear on Naruto's face.

"Wha- How do you know?" He frowned and observed the pinkette with a questioning look.

"The thieves asked for a necklace." Sakura explained and looked over her shoulder at Naruto who grimaced crossly.

"Oh c'mon – don't tell me we're just some kind of jewellery patrol!" He exclaimed in an irritated voice and now looked to the side at Kakashi, who merely shrugged in response, but now their client seemed to have overheard him, which wasn't really surprising, considering his volume.

"This neck- uhm… the thing in my back is probably worth more than all your lives together…" Gennai explained, but then his eyes widened as he saw the slightly disgruntled faces of the people around him and he realized just then that he had really said that out loud, which he hadn't really intended…

"Huhm…" He whimpered with a timid look on his face and just couldn't think of anything to talk himself out of this awkward situation…

"Is that why you handed it to those thieves right away - because it's so _very_ valuable…?" Naruto eyed him with a sceptical and kind of offended expression, but their client seemed too churned up still to give him an answer…

"Phew…Damn this mission is a total waste of time…" The Uzumaki sighed and cast a sullen look at their client – as if it was his fault that he was bored now, which wasn't even all wrong…

"I wouldn't say so…" Kakashi stated in a calm voice and drew Naruto's attention back to him.

"What do you mean…?" The blonde stared with a puzzled expression at the Jounin who just smiled at him and said: "Looks like our block of ice is finally melting…" He cast an ambiguous glance over his shoulder, his whole face beaming.

"Huh? What ice…?" Naruto grimaced but then followed his team-leader's gaze, but only saw Sasuke and Sayuri, who had been walking at the end of their group the entire time and were just talking to each other in low voices, which is probably why he hadn't heard them, but then they noticed the six pairs of eyes which were now focussed on them and looked up with startled faces.

He bluntly stared at them for a couple of seconds, until he realized what Kakashi was apparently driving at and a mischievous grin appeared on his face, while he once again slowed down his steps until he walked beside the two of them.

"How's it going?" He asked nonchalantly, but kept a close eye on the people beside him.

"Uhm… good. How about you?" Sayuri asked after a couple of seconds with a sceptical tone in her voice.

"Fine…" He merely said and again crossed his arms behind his head in a leisure manner, while he kept his eyes fixed on his team-mates, but didn't say anything any longer and neither did any of them…

"Nice day, isn't it?" Naruto enquired after some time and still scrutinized them closely, almost intently…

"Well, yes… definitely…" Again Sayuri answered his question with a rather strained tone in her voice, while Sasuke was completely ignoring him, and something about their tense posture told him that he wasn't really welcome here, but maybe he was wrong…

"And it's really warm and then all this walking is kind of straining as well… I'm almost _melting_ here… how about you Sasuke?" Naruto raised an eyebrow and shot a meaningful look at the Uchiha, while Kakashi, who walked in front of them and had heard every single one of Naruto's words just shook his head and was now sure that the blonde hadn't understood what he'd been talking about…

His two team-mates, who weren't in on this whole '_melting'_-thing, didn't know what he was talking about of course and just looked at him with clueless frowns on their faces.

"Maybe you should take off your jacket then." Sayuri proposed in a sceptical voice, still not knowing what to make of his words…

"Huh? Why me? – I thought he was sweating…" The blonde furrowed his brows, so now there were three people who didn't even have the slightest idea of what the others were talking about, while the only person, who apparently did so, walked ahead of them and couldn't help but to put a hand to his forehead because of their cluelessness, but didn't feel like clearing up the confusion…

…

…

Another eventless hour later they finally reached their destination: a sleepy little town surrounded by farmland and a beautiful mountain range. Most of the houses were small and plain, but well-kept with nice, blooming gardens in front of them, which made the whole locality look really colourful and bright – it would be like the perfect setting for some kind of fairytale or a movie about past ages…

They passed only few people, but all of these eyed them with wary expressions, which made clear that they didn't have strangers here too often and were apparently glad about that…

"So… we're there right? - Can we go home now?" Naruto asked and grinned diabolically about the shocked expression that flitted over Gennai's face.

"N-no! We have to bring the parcel to its owner!" Gennai's face was all pale and he stared with a hopeful gaze at the Hatake, as if he waited for assurance that they wouldn't just leave him to his own devices…

"We have a contract, so don't worry…" Kakashi calmed him down again, while Naruto still couldn't stop grinning; it was just far too easy to unsettle the Udono and he blatantly took advantage of that…

"So where do we have to bring it, then?" The blonde roamed his big blue eyes over the small town and hardly had to move his head to take it in fully.

"I bet to that house over there!" Sakura pointed to the front, to the biggest and most imposing building in the entire area and caused a puzzled expression to appear on Naruto's face.

"How do you know?" He regarded the pinkette with a sceptical look, while a smug smile lifted the corners of her lips.

"Well – someone who pays the sum of a B-rank mission for a simple C- rank one sure won't live in a tiny hut." The Haruno explained her reasoning and side-glanced at their client, waiting for a reaction.

"That's right – this is where Okyô-sama lives." Gennai nodded and cast a hopeful glance at the end of the road, which seemed much farther away to him now than it actually was.

"Then let's go." Kakashi incited them, but Naruto interrupted him.

"Do we all have to go in there? – I mean this house isn't really _thaat_ big and we are quite many…" The blonde murmured in a halting voice and cast a sheepish grin at their team-leader. "…and this mission is as good as over anyway…"

"You just want to eat something, right?" Sakura regarded him with an annoyed expression, very well seeing that his eyes always drifted to the sign of a tavern right next to them and remembering all his talk about his empty stomach from beforehand…

"Wha- of course not! What do you think of me? It would just be impolite to…" Naruto started defending himself, but gave up as he caught sight of all these sceptical gazes which were fixed on him.

"Okay, okay… I really am starving…" He mumbled under his breath and looked to the side sulkily.

"Pfft – you're unbelievable…" Sasuke grunted haughtily and rolled his eyes, causing Naruto to spin around on his heels again.

"Teme! I'm still growing – I need the food!" The blonde groused and shot a killer glare at his team-mate, who only let out a scornful snort after this statement.

So before they could start quarrelling, the way they used to do back in the past Kakashi intercepted and drew everyone's attention to himself: "Its okay. I can handle things by myself from here on. Go take a break."

"Thanks, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto exclaimed enthusiastically, before he turned to his team-mates. "The last one to get there has to treat the others!"

Right after these words were spoken, he rushed off, leaving only a blurred trail of yellow and orange behind, while the others just sighed about his behaviour, but then went after him after thanking their team-leader as well.

"Then let's go." The grey-haired Jounin addressed their client, who didn't really look happy about that reduction of his personal escort.

"Huhm…" He whimpered timidly but then rushed after the tall shinobi, who had already started walking ahead without him – which meant he was nearly alone (alone as in out of reach of his arms…).

A moment later they had already reached the nice manor. It didn't have much in common with the other buildings in this town. It didn't have this balance between the plain design of the house and the therefore all the more elaborate garden; it was just much. Quantity above quality. The designer – if there had actually been one – seemed to have made it his task to assault each and every sense of the people who might pass this place.

The façade was canary-yellow, but because of all the colourful climbing plants which crawled up the exterior wall, you hardly saw that and yet it managed to sting in your eyes. Then there were also the various smells these flowers emitted – Kakashi had never come across any plants with such a strong, distinct scent – as if they had been bathed in perfume and a sickly sweet one, which settled in his throat and adhered to his airways with every breath he took – not even his mask was much of a help – so it felt really unpleasant and he couldn't help but to cough every once in a while, trying to get rid of this dry, rough feeling. Then there were also various silver and golden cages filled with extremely talkative birds, some of which he had never seen before and definitely wouldn't voluntarily keep, considering just how much noise they were making…

The two of them walked through this paradise for lovers of kitsch, until they reached the entrance door: a grand wooden slide door with some kind of picture story carved into it. Gennai knocked at it lightly, then heavier as nothing happened. He cast a nervous look at the Hatake and shrugged sheepishly, before he focussed his brownish-green eyes on the door again.

"Well… maybe Okyô-sama has a music session, right now – you should know she is a formidable singer, blessed with a voice like that of a nightingale." The bald man raved about her talent, even though Kakashi couldn't help but to have some doubts about that, but maybe he was just prejudiced…

"Let's just go in then, she'll be delighted to finally receive her new treasure." Gennai proposed, but waited for the Hatake to open the door, as if he meant to cast the blame on the Jounin, in case they shouldn't be as welcome as he hoped for…

They stepped into the longish hall on the other side of the door, which was to Kakashi's surprise not colourful and bright, but monotonously beige and there was no receptionist either, just an empty room filled with somewhat dull, but weirdly shaped furniture without any edges or protruding parts, so everything looked really smooth.

"I don't hear any music." The Hatake remarked, once they stood in the middle of the room and again an anxious expression appeared on the Udono's face.

"Why… that's quite curious…" He pondered. "Let's move on to the parlour then…" He said but again didn't move - as if he waited for Kakashi to go ahead, even though he had never been at this place before and accordingly didn't know anything about its layout, which might explain the sceptical frown on his face.

"Uhm… o-okay…" The Udono stuttered, as nervous as ever, before he led the way through various rooms, which didn't look as if they'd belong to one single house – it was like diving into a new world before parting it for yet another one and if it wasn't for all the tawdry trash, this would have been a quite intriguing journey.

"T-this is where she usually resides." Gennai nodded at a pompous door with mint green and peach-coloured squiggles and ornaments drawn on it. Just like before the cowardly man couldn't be moved to opening the door by himself, which told Kakashi quite a bit about the disposition of the owner of this otherworldly place, as if this house itself wouldn't throw him much deeper into that woman's psyche than Kakashi would have ever wanted to have access to…

After shooting a reproachful look at their client, Kakashi opened the door with a sigh, only to be hit by a kunai in his chest the next second.

Once he saw the sharp dagger, Gennai emitted a high-pitched squeal, while his eyes found their way through the door crack and the sight of the at least twenty men in the room in front of him, caused him to lose his consciousness, which is also why he missed how the wounded Kakashi turned into a cloud of smoke, to the apparent dismay of the intruders, who had already been sure of their victory.

Now a startled murmur echoed through the room and then there were also the muted, but clearly scandalized and desperate wails of a plump, gagged woman, who kind of resembled a bird of paradise, with her colourful clothes, make-up and then also the feathers in her pinned up hair.

These initial sounds of confusion however were soon to be replaced by some loud thuds as the first of the attackers fell to the ground, which was followed by only more confused sounds since no one could quite figure out what had just happened.

A couple of seconds passed, with no sound but that of the racing hearts of the intruders. Then another one went down with a wheezing sound and now they finally saw the man that had only just dissipated into thin air, but had now apparently entered the room without them having noticed it

Still he was just a single person and they were about fifteen still, so they clearly held the advantage here, or so you should think but either way it was them who looked clearly intimidated while that Jounin was as cool as a cucumber.

"I'll leave it to you, you can either leave by yourselves or I'll make you." Kakashi stated calmly, however his nonchalant manner, raised the spirits of his opponents and they now prepared for a counter attack. Not that it would have made a difference if they hadn't… Even before they had raised their weapons high enough to even think of an attack, half of them went down after some well-aimed kicks and strokes of the Hatake, which caused the moral among the intruders to sink considerably.

A dense cloud of smoke filled the spacious room and once it faded a tall man came to light, standing amidst a pile of unconscious bodies. Okyô, who still sat with a scarf around her mouth on the same chair those men had tied her to, couldn't help but to feel impressed by the sight that met her heavily made-up eyes and would have started gaping, if her gag had allowed that.

After he was sure, he had finished them off for good, Kakashi cast a brief glance at Gennai who was still lying there in the doorway, apparently engaged in a deep slumber, before he looked at the wide eyed woman in the centre of the room and walked up to her to free her from the ropes which tied her to the chair.

"Phew…" Okyô inhaled deeply, once the piece of cloth was removed from her mouth.

"You saved me…" The dark-haired woman looked up at the Hatake with sparkling eyes and a seductive leer on her full pink lips. "You're a hero."

"Just doing my job." Kakashi murmured and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, while he eyed the woman in front of him, with a confused expression, as she started giggling and cuffed his shoulder lightly.

"Ohh you… no need to be modest…" She giggled, her whole body shaking along with it and squeezed her eyes shut before she went quiet all of a sudden. She swayed lightly, before she groped for Kakashi's arm and held on to it tightly.

The Jounin looked down at the plump woman who now buried her face in his sleeve and he wondered what people saw in his arm today…

"I feel a bit dizzy…" She mumbled, but from how tight she was grasping his arm, Kakashi had some doubts about that, but being the gentleman he was, he placed a hand on her back and helped her sit down on the chair again.

"You are such a precious soul." She cast an adoring look at the Hatake, who looked kind of dumbfounded, which caused another rapt smile to appear on her face.

"Ehehe… youuu…" She again tapped a finger against his shoulder as if he had told her something extremely naughty and Kakashi couldn't help but to feel a little uneasy about her behaviour, which didn't get any better, as she suddenly pulled him down and slung her arms around his neck, clinging to him like a spider monkey.

"Excuse me…" He tapped at her back somewhat helplessly and still standing in a rather uncomfortable crouch, before he tried to detach her arms from around his neck, but she displayed inhuman strength and unrelenting persistence.

"Phew…" Kakashi sighed and really hoped for some of the men he had just beaten, to wake up again and free him from this human limpet, before he'd run out of air.

…

…

Right after they had parted ways with Kakashi and their client, the four members of Team7 had walked to the first restaurant that had caught their eye and probably the only one there was in this tiny country village. Of course Naruto had been the one to reach it first, but the last one to get there, which had been Sasuke didn't show much interest in clearing his debts, which nearly resulted in another (though rather one-sided) quarrel between the two of them, but Sakura had some knock-down arguments to silence the blonde…

So now they were kneeling on traditional tatami mats in front of a low dark table, with four cups and a pottery teapot on top of it, but no food yet, but since they had only just ordered some of the five different dishes this tavern offered, that was still acceptable…

"Phew… I'm glad this mission is finally over… now I can go back to the important things in life…" Naruto yawned and stretched his arms over his head, before he dropped them down into his lap again and cast a bored side-glance into the direction of the kitchen.

"Important things…? Like what?" Sakura eyed him sceptically and there was something about the tone in her voice that Naruto didn't like at all.

"Training of course! What kind of Hokage would I be if I didn't improve my skills?" Naruto frowned at the girl beside him.

"The way you say that makes it sound like you're already sure of becoming Hokage…" Now Sakura wore a frown on her face as well, which yielded to an irritated grimace, though, as the blonde nearly screamed into her ear.

"Because I will! Once Tsunade retires I'll take over – just you wait!" He nodded with decision and crossed his arms in front of his chest, as if he meant to show that all objections wouldn't get through to him.

"But you're still young – so they might choose someone else…" Sayuri murmured cautiously, knowing that it was his sore spot…

"Pfft… like whom?" Naruto snorted and eyed the girl in front of him with a raised eyebrow.

"Well someone with more experience…" She started, but as she saw the impatient look on Naruto's face she carried on. "I don't know… maybe Kakashi-sensei?"

"Kakashi-sensei? Haha! – Yeah right – I can already see him glue some pages of his porns under the Hokage-hat so he can read them inconspicuously." Naruto chuckled and rolled his eyes upwards with a silly grin on his face, imitating to read something from an imaginary hat.

"Or how he'd come hours too late to a public speech and tries to soothe the whole village with one of his stupid excuses." Sakura added, grinning at least as widely as the blonde.

"Yeah and then the whole village would yell '_You're late_!'" Naruto chuckled and really considered letting the Hatake become Hokage first, simply for witnessing that…

"Okay… maybe not so much Kakashi…" Sayuri grimaced sheepishly, but then joined in on their laughing and about a minute later they were already brought their food.

"Woah – thanks" Naruto stared at his colossal and brimful plate with an enthusiastic expression, his mouth already beginning to water.

"This looks really great." He exclaimed and received some assertive nods from his team-mates, who looked a bit intimidated though, by the huge portions they had all been given – people in the countryside had to have an oversized stomach, if they could really eat all this…

"Ah… talking about Kakashi…" Naruto mumbled between some bites. "Shouldn't he be back already?"

"Hmm… I don't know… maybe when he doesn't come back in the next fifteen minutes we should go and see if he's alright…" Sakura proposed and looked out of the window, which faced towards the house he had gone to, even though she couldn't see anything but its dark-green roof from where she was.

"Hey – we are talking here about never-to-be-Hokage Kakashi-sensei! – He'll be okay." Naruto assured her and grinned about his own joke.

"You're right… I mean this is only a '_B-rank'_ mission…" Sakura made little quotation marks with her fingers as she said that. "He can handle that by himself – oh look they have fortune cookies here!" Sakura's eyes fell on a small plaited basket, with said cookies inside, so she gripped for it and distributed the small individually wrapped biscuits among her team-mates.

"Me first!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly and tore up the plastic foil and pulled the cookie out of it, which he then broke into halves to take out the tiny sheet of paper under almost everyone's watchful eyes.

"Okay…

'_A closed mouth gathers no feet'_

… hehe – so true…" The blonde grinned and scratched his head sheepishly, while the others regarded him with amused expressions. "Your turn Sakura-chan."

The Uzumaki turned to his table-neighbour, who already had her fortune message at the ready.

" '_People who are late are often happier than those who have to wait for_ _them' _" She read out with a grin on her face.

"Haha – you got the one for Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto laughed and pointed at her, saying the very thing that had run through everyone's mind at that moment.

"Good that he's not here yet… he's the butt of quite a lot of jokes today…" Sayuri smirked and cast a side-glance at the entrance door, to make sure he really hadn't shown up yet…

"We should give that to him later, maybe he'll then understand why we don't dance for joy when he shows up an hour too late… pick another one." Naruto encouraged the pinkette, who then did as she was told.

"So now…

'_Don't ask. Don't say. Everything lies in silence' _" She stared at the piece of paper with a pensive expression, before she put it on the table and ate her cookie.

"Sayuri-chan." Naruto nodded at the kunoichi in front of him – actually it would have been Sasuke's turn, but since he was still eating and hadn't just given up like the girls, he skipped him for the time being.

"Uhm… okay…" Sayuri murmured and picked up her cookie, but once she ripped the foil open, it flew in a wide arc out of it and landed somewhere on the floor.

"Oh." She exhaled in surprise, before she leaned back a little and peered under the table, but then Sasuke reached out and picked up her fortune cookie from under her knee and handed it to her.

"Thanks…" She murmured and cast a familiar smile at the Uchiha, who just nodded in response, before he went back to eating.

" '_Let your heart make your decisions - it does not get as confused as your head' _" Sayuri read out and didn't know if she should smile about this message or start shuddering because it was eerily fitting… Either way – she should definitely take this saying to heart, so she ate the cookie, to make sure her fortune would come true, before she looked at Sasuke, who was the last one in the line. However that one kept on eating and apparently didn't feel disturbed by the three pairs of curious eyes which were resting on him.

"Teme! Hurry up a bit – your food is already cold anyway – slow as you are. So just take a break!" Naruto snapped at his team-mate, who didn't look as if he'd follow his request though.

"Tze… this is stupid…" Sasuke frowned and carried on eating, while Naruto balled his fists, annoyed by the Uchiha's indifferent demeanour and already prepared for a retort, but he was beaten to it.

"C'mon – it's fun…" Sayuri tried to persuade him with a disarming smile on her lips – she was really curious about what there was in his cookie, after all of theirs had been so accurate, but the Uchiha still didn't do anything.

"You want me to read it to you?" She flashed another smile at him and regarded him with an eager look in her blue-grey eyes.

"Suit yourself." He said soberly and watched from the corner of his eyes, how the violet-haired girl picked up his fortune cookie with an anticipating look on her face and opened it carefully, not wanting to send it flying through the room again…

"Okay your fortune says:

'_Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference'_ " She mainly laughed out the last words and once she had finished, everyone except for the owner of this fortune was laughing as well.

"Haha – good one – it seems to have gotten around that you have quite some issues with your ego!" Naruto sneered venomously, but Sasuke didn't react to his words and finally finished his meal.

"You should definitely eat this." Sayuri grinned cheekily and lifted his cookie in front of his face and in the first second Sakura thought she'd feed him, but she just waved it in front of his face, trying to annoy him into eating it. But still something about this picture bothered her… they seemed so close somehow… They had been hanging together all day and now they were sitting next to each other, as well and then there were all these little things… For example that Sasuke had bothered to pick up her cookie, or the way she had smiled at him and then that they had taken quite long for their task this morning and had shown up together then…

The pinkette cast a piercing gaze at the two people on the other side of the table and watched how Sasuke now grabbed for Sayuri's hand to stop her from waving it in front of his eyes, before he took the cookie out of her palm and ate it – even though Sakura knew that he didn't like sweet things…

"There you go… "Naruto grinned with closed eyes and crossed his arms behind his head.

"Is this the time now to ask you to train with me?" He opened his eyes again and curled his lips into a smug smirk, causing Sasuke to sigh in annoyance.

"No." He refused bluntly and you could really see how the smile on Naruto's face crumbled in that second.

"But why? You're supposed to change your attitude, even Kakashi-sensei said… … Oh…!" He only just remembered Kakashi's words and somehow understood them now, or maybe had understood them before, but had only just become aware of that… anyway – now he was definitely sure that Sasuke didn't have some kind of perspiration problem…

"Said what?" It wasn't Sasuke but Sayuri to ask him, while the actual addressee just crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked with a blank expression at his opposite.

"Nevermind…" Naruto put her off, but then looked surreptitiously from her to Sasuke and back to her again, while a sly grin appeared on his face.

"So our pot finally found its lid, eh?" He leered with a conspiratorial look on his face, while the people in front of him just exchanged some clueless gazes, until the meaning of his words finally dawned on Sayuri, but she tried her best not to show it, even though she feared it was too late for that… Instead of training with Sasuke he should do some training with Suigetsu – he could definitely teach him something about allusions and doubletalk – but did she really want that?

Naruto had apparently missed the shocked expression that had appeared on Sayuri's face for a fleeting second and only saw the unknowing expression which had preceded and followed it, so he figured he had to explain his witty train of thoughts.

"You know – pot… lid… they have to match and so on… it's a proverb… sheesh… you should open a book from time to time…" Naruto sighed in frustration, but now did notice that Sayuri looked kind of nervous… however before he could add anything else, he was surprisingly interrupted by Sakura.

"And that coming from you – I bet you never read anything but the back of your milk carton…" Sakura tried to shift the topic… She didn't really know why, but she didn't want to hear any of this… Even though she had long given up on Sasuke, she still wasn't ready to see him with someone else… she'd like to keep thinking of him as a socially incapable being – even if only to preserve her self-confidence… After all she's had feelings for him since ages… years of unrequited love and even though that was all there has been to it, letting go still wasn't easy for her…

"That's not true and you know that…" Naruto pouted sulkily, before he recollected himself and turned back to the people in front of him, displaying an improved attention span, which was really unlikely for him…

"So? What is it with you now? – Are you the lid Sayuri-chan?" The blonde folded his arms on the table and scrutinized the violet-haired girl with a serious look on his face, as if he was doing some kind of job interview.

"M-me…" Sayuri pointed at her chest, with slightly widened eyes and flushed cheeks. So this was it now – Sasuke had left it to her to decide whether she wanted to tell anyone or not… even though she was quite sure that he didn't really want that… But it was quite hard now… After all Naruto had some real suspicion, so even if she told him that there was nothing, he'd probably carry on probing and she'd end up with inventing excuses until she would contradict herself and this would be one of the rare occasions when Naruto would actually notice so and even if not there was still Sakura… Great – she had only just read that she should let her heart make her decisions and here again she got tangled up in the chaos in her head…

"Hehe…" Even though he wanted to keep a straight face, Naruto couldn't bite back a grin as he didn't get any answer and Sayuri looked noticeably uneasy, which kind of spoke for itself…

"_No one_ is a lid here! – so stop being silly, baka! – can't you see that you're embarrassing her? Sayuri already looks as if she's about to faint." Sakura snapped at her table neighbour and drew his confused gaze towards her.

"Wh-what…?" Sayuri stammered nervously and pointed at her chest again. She definitely felt uncomfortable but fainting? This was really weird – it sounded almost like Sakura helped them with keeping their relationship secret – but she couldn't possibly know… Maybe she had some suspicion, but that had to be it… but then what sense did her behaviour make?

"Phew… Sakura-chan – you still don't get it, huh?" Naruto stared at the pinkette with an impatient expression, but received only a venomous glare in return. "Nevermind – I'll explain. So pot and lid always have to fit together, right? – and in this case pot stands for a man and lid for a woman, or maybe the other way around…" He cast a pensive look at the ceiling, before he shrugged and carried on.

"Anyway… you're feeling sick Sayuri-chan?" He eyed her with a slightly worried expression, while Sakura put a hand to her forehead and would have best liked to knock some sense into her team-mate…

"Uhm… no, I'm fine…" She smiled anxiously and now noticed that Sasuke was watching her with a rather amused look on his face and she wondered why they were only assailing her with their questions and not him…

"Anyhow – you're a couple now or not?" He bored his deep blue eyes into Sayuri's and this time Sakura didn't interrupt him again, but stared with an equally piercing and yet somewhat unsteady look in her emerald eyes at the other girl and there was something defensive about her posture, as if she already braced herself in case the words wouldn't come off as she wanted them to…

And here again they were only staring at her – even though it took definitely two to form a couple and Sayuri could literally feel how she shrunk as she was squashed to the ground by the weight of their expectant gazes. And she still didn't know what to say, now… Let her heart decide… good one – considering that the heart doesn't have a brain and is therefore incapable of thinking – ergo can't make any decisions… stupid fortune… more stupid fortune cookie message writer…

"We are."

Now the piercing gazes suddenly left her and she took a deep breath once the weight had vanished, before she turned her head to the person who had just uttered these words and was now in the centre of everyone's startled looks – even Sayuri seemed just about as shocked as Naruto and Sakura did, even though she had clearly been in on this whole thing from the very start…

Sasuke didn't seem to mind the attention he was getting though, he just sat there and watched his opposites open and close their mouths again like goldfishes, while no actual sound passed their lips.

"R-really?" Naruto gaped at them and it somehow seemed now as if he had believed until the last second that this whole thing had just been a joke…

Sayuri nodded lightly as his gaze wandered to her, waiting for her to confirm this whole thing as well.

Then no one said anything, for quite some time, until Naruto seemed to realize what this meant and a disbelieving smile rose on his lips, which vanished quite soon though, as he looked into Sayuri's troubled face and then followed her gaze to his table neighbour, who sat there like a statue.

"S-Sakura…?" Sayuri murmured hesitantly, but the pinkette only squeezed her lips into a thin line and shook her head.

"Don't… don't talk to me…" Sakura stammered in a shaky voice and averted her eyes from her so-called friend. Her fortune cookie had told her to be quiet and the only way of doing so was when no one talked to her – because right now she really felt like screaming.

"I don't believe it." They heard a voice coming from the entrance region and as they turned their heads towards it, they saw their kind of battered looking sensei, who had only just entered the small tavern.

"I could have really needed your help and you are just sitting here and do nothing." Kakashi exclaimed, seeming thoroughly shaken which didn't really fit to his usual nonchalant attitude and from how he was looking he must have really had a hard time… His hair was entirely tousled – more than usually and the left sleeve of the dark-blue pullover he wore underneath his Jounin vest was nearly ripped off and was only kept in place by some scattered seams and then there was also some kind of imprint on his chest – like that of a face – at least the lipstick was clearly evident…

His students didn't seem to notice though, which stroke him as odd, because usually they didn't miss a single opportunity to mock him… The whole atmosphere in general seemed rather gloomy and strained and he couldn't really make sense of this sudden change in his actually or mostly lively and bright students' mood.

…

…


	11. A rainy day

**11.**** A rainy day**

Today was one of these days when the sky was dominated by languid greyness… A brownish grey sky, hidden behind brownish grey clouds and then the earth still fast asleep underneath a dense veil of morning mist – also grey of course…

Not even the sun seemed in the right mood to come up with enough effort to break through these low, rain laden clouds, which seemed to be drawn down by gravity, rather than being moved in one of the cardinal directions…

This really wasn't a day for any kind of activity and even though they didn't know it yet, that was exactly what the two shinobi inside the spacious room in one of the most imposing buildings in the entire Leaf Village did – complying with this tacit rule of laziness.

Only when the first drops of rain started pattering against the window pane and the roof covering the terrace, was it that the first sounds ripped through the silence, which had beforehand hovered over the room like it was a thick stifling cloud itself.

Woken by this change in atmosphere, a raven haired man slowly opened his coal black eyes and let them wander through the dim and drab seeming room. His facial expression didn't give anything away of his attitude toward this rather gloomy prospect of the morning – a result of years of training.

Harsh years. Years in which he had been forced to come up with every possible kind of defence out of necessity… But that was behind him now. Another dark chapter in the book of his past he didn't plan to open again. Even though he still couldn't believe it; believe that everything was over now… Something was still there, deep down in the most remote corner of his mind, that kept him from abandoning his defences.

The reason why he couldn't even lower his guard in his sleep and was woken up by anything out of the ordinary, even the faintest sound, the faintest disturbance in the air around him, something as miniscule as the sound of rain. Or the reason why so many things seemed simply ridiculous to him; all these little everyday problems people attached so much importance to – they seemed comical compared to what he's gone through…

This was one of the reasons why everything seemed so unreal, not even the fact how serious some people took mere, unimportant trifles, but rather that his problems had yielded to trifles as well; the very same unimportant trifles which plagued other people as well and he was beginning to take them just as serious as they did.

Was that the price of leading an easy life – getting soft and being unsettled by even the most trivial things? Actually it should have been comforting to think that all reasons for worry have been reduced to a minimum and that there was no more need for constant alertness, no more need to expect the worst behind each and every corner… but somehow it wasn't, he just wasn't ready to believe it yet…

It's not like he's lived in fear the past years – he's lived under pressure would be far more accurate to say. The pressure to do the right thing and not in the sense of this whole right or wrong debate.

It had been like the aim of his life, his revenge, had lain in the middle of a labyrinth and every right decision was like a step into the right direction, whereas every wrong decision had sent him to a dead end.

Now that he reached his goal he no longer had to consider all the possible consequences his actions might have on his path, but could keep it down to seeing the effects they had on his immediate future. Looking straight ahead, rather than twice around two corners.

He was becoming lazy, too confident of his safety and less selfish, which he didn't consider as positive, even though it might sound so. Being selfish was actually a good thing – he knew that and everyone else knew that too, even though others weren't as ready to admit that as he was. It's a part of the self-preservative drive, the one that keeps you from dying – which is quite common in most people – one of the best defences a human being possesses.

If it hadn't been for his selfishness he wouldn't be here now. He wouldn't have been able to cope with the loss of his family; he wouldn't have left Konoha to seek new power from Orochimaru; he wouldn't have made it through the endless days and nights of nothing but training and he wouldn't have been able to become strong enough to kill his brother.

All his life was marked by selfishness – it had been _his_ selfish wish to retaliate the injustice which had been done to _his_ family. All _his_ selfish actions, the sacrifices _he_ had made, the people _he_ had abandoned or used to _his_ advantage – all of these had been necessary deeds – deeds to create a world for him to live in. Trying to erase the unfairness which had been done to him, by becoming strong enough to turn it against its perpetrator. Again it had been a subconscious necessity to create a world in which there was an order; a world in which bad things weren't just accepted and forgotten but avenged.

His self-centeredness – his urge to bring himself through no matter what – had been his greatest support in attaining his goal and yet he had relinquished a part of it. Relinquished it to a person with an apparently underdeveloped self-preservative drive and who therefore needed it much more than he did…

He tilted his head to the side, trying to move as little as possible and cast a pensive look at the girl in his arms. She was lying with her head in his armpit and all her limbs drawn as close to her body as she could possibly manage. She had wrapped her hand tightly around a corner of the white blanket and had pulled it up to her nose, so actually he couldn't see anything but her long dark hair and a little of her pale cheek. If it wasn't for the feeling of her even breathing against the side of his chest, he couldn't have told if she was dead or alive; she was perfectly still, he couldn't even make out the stirring of her chest and the soft rain and the covers muffled every sound she might have made.

Cautiously he brushed some strands of her hair out of her face and observed her sleeping features and noticed a slightly troubled look in them. With a light frown on his face, he watched her for some more time, but the expression remained unaltered, she stayed as rigid as a statue. So after a couple of seconds he averted his eyes from her again and focussed them on the round ceiling lamp instead, just allowing his thoughts to drift off again…

He had definitely changed. Just to think that he had shifted his focus and was now not only considerate of satisfying his own needs, but thought about someone else, too and actually wanted that person to feel good as well.

That he had actually started to care for someone other than himself… If someone had told him a year ago that he would be here now – at this place again and above all in this situation, he would have doubted his sanity… And yet he was lying here, right next to his _girlfriend_ and he must have changed so much that he didn't even see anything remarkable about that… On the contrary…

Actually he had always been convinced that his dream had lain in the past and that the future held nothing for him and that hadn't changed; however by changing something about the present – his current past – he had been able to come up with a new dream and somehow the future didn't seem too uninviting any longer…

Now there was finally some motion in the girl to his side. She finally quitted being a stone and stretched out her legs, while her lids fluttered slightly, but didn't open just yet. A soft sigh escaped her lips, while she pulled the blanket almost completely over her head and snuggled closer to him, burying her face in the side of his chest, right underneath the arm he now slung tighter around her back, even though he still seemed to hold nothing but the blanket.

"You're finally awake." He said in a low murmur, even though he wasn't this sure about it after all.

"… not so very…" Her voice was muffled by the covers, which she then pulled back a little to look through half-shut eyes at the owner of the voice.

"Hey…" She smiled lightly and wrapped her arms around Sasuke's neck, while he rolled on his side to face her directly and drew her closer into his arms. Their eyes met for a brief second, before their lips did for a significantly longer time.

They remained lying like that for quite some time; their faces only inches apart, so close that they managed to block out the bleak and dreariness of their surroundings and create their own little realm with much warmer colours and a cosier atmosphere, completely unlike what there really was.

They kissed again and once their lips parted, Sayuri lowered her gaze and stroked her hand down his breastbone, while the soft smile slowly vanished from her lips. Sasuke watched this change in her expression and furrowed his brows, before he placed a hand on her cheek and traced his fingers along her jawline, down the delicate curve of her neck, until she closed her hand around his and looked up with a hesitant gleam in her grey-blue eyes.

"You're not gonna leave again… are you…?" She spoke very carefully, as if the words themselves were fragile and not just their speaker…

"You still hold that against me, huh?" He raised an eyebrow and watched how Sayuri turned down her troubled eyes again and shook her head lightly – that really wasn't it, she'd just like to be prepared…

"Not really…" She murmured softly and rested her chin above both their hands, while Sasuke still watched her with a thoughtful expression.

"I have the whole day off." The Uchiha raised his voice in a calm tone. "We can do whatever you want."

"Really…?" Sayuri turned her head up with a sceptical look on her face and bored her eyes into Sasuke's.

"Hn." He nodded his assent and watched a mild smile rise on Sayuri's lips, before she folded her hands behind his neck again and placed soft kisses on his lips.

"Then… can we just stay here and do nothing? Just a little bit longer?" She asked hesitantly, but instead of answering, Sasuke rolled onto his back again and pulled her along with him – words have never been his strong point anyway…

This was her chance to catch up on her cliché-ridden idea of how a morning-after was supposed to be. Like the morning-after reloaded or take two. The first point on her list, which would be the _spending-the-whole-morning-in-bed_ point, could be ticked already, next one would be the _putting-on-his-shirt _point, but there was still plenty of time for that one… still she should make sure to know where his shirt was lying in the first place, just so that she could get it first in the unlikely case that he wanted to put it on himself – completely unacceptable.

She wrapped her arms around his torso and placed her head on his firm chest, listening to his steady and calm heartbeat, but that didn't matter too much, because it was absolutely quiet except for the light rain on the other side of the window, which she only just noticed… She hadn't realized up to now how uncomfortable and gloomy the day was, so she just closed her eyes to it and felt only confirmed in her idea of spending the day with being lazy.

A contented sigh passed her lips as Sasuke's fingers began wandering across the soft indentations of her porcelain ribcage, up and down as if they were piano keys and Sayuri had a hard time not to cringe and start giggling, but after some time she grew accustomed to that feeling and then it was only pleasant and calming and she could already feel how she drifted back into a light slumber as the movements became slower and lazier…

Then she started dreaming; dreaming but not sleeping… There was a major difference… at least to her, the good dreams never came by themselves, her sleeping mind would only spit out the bad ones, so dreaming something nice required an active thinking process…

In sleep she could never dream up anything as intense and vivid as this here… Something blurry and yet sharp, appealing to all senses… There was this feeling, so many feelings actually, like that of skin against skin, as if her body was explored by uncountable hands, even though there was just one other person, so she figured something about her senses must have gotten confused, somehow…

This wasn't about concrete actions though, in this invisible bubble which circled them and excluded everything else, it was only about perception. It was about the soft touches, the hungry kisses, the teasing – it was about the closeness. The attempt to cover every inch of separation; to completely enfold. Hands holding hands, trying to make the sweet sensation more bearable; legs wrapped around legs, thighs against thighs, hips moving to a self-paced rhythm, writhing bodies, grinding against each other in sweet agony. The heat of their mouths as they melted together, tasting each other's lips, necks, earlobes – every bit of skin, as if it was the first time. Her lungs filled with his scent as she breathed him in, savouring the moment, the weightlessness, the warmth… allowing herself to get lost in a whirlwind of overwhelming sensations and emotions. Trying to memorize these feelings, every single second, even the faintest touch, the tiniest gesture, like how a hint of a smile played over his lips, or the uncommonly tender look in his eyes… how he managed to make her feel special and wanted merely by looking at her.

Their eyes met, locked together and fused into a blur of black and blue, as it became harder to breathe and her head started spinning at the approach of suffocation, her vision reduced to a narrow crescent as it became too exhaustive to keep her eyes open any longer. She wasn't afraid though. There are some dreams in which you don't die – in which you are invincible, immortal, beautiful, perfect – anything you're able to come up with and she somehow felt like this was one of them… so she wasn't afraid… It was one of these dreams in which you fall into a bottomless pit and learn to enjoy the feeling of falling and this is what happened. She allowed herself to fall into a sea of pleasure, drowning in pure bliss and taking him along with her. Clinging to his strong body, digging her nails into his broad shoulders to not lose him in the turbulent waters, trying to capture the moment in which they merged into one being as he pushed her past her limit and guided her back into reality again. The blurriness began to fade, as if the bubble had burst and as she was only about to wake up, she fell asleep after all…

…

…

About a cozy eternity, but more likely just an hour or two later, which told her that her sense of time still hadn't normalized yet, Sayuri was woken up by her human pillow, as he shifted his weight lightly. She opened her eyes drowsily, feeling even sleepier than before, but probably because she had gotten far too much sleep this time…

A languid sigh escaped her lips and she closed her eyes again while cuddling closer to Sasuke, wrapping her arms around his upper body, as tightly as her tired form would manage like he was some kind of teddy bear, before she yawned again.

"How can you still be tired?" The dark-haired man whispered into her smooth hair, while he moved a finger up and down the side of her neck, causing a contented sound to pass her lips.

"Hm…?" She exhaled, not really able to open her lips far enough to form articulate words yet, or grasp the meaning of his question in the first place… Instead she just hunched her shoulders up and nodded eventually, before she ran her hands down the side of his torso and tickled his ribs with her fingertips.

"You're not ticklish, huh?" She asked, as she didn't get the desired reaction from the raven-haired man, her voice still thick with sleep. However Sasuke didn't even bother to answer her ridiculous question, but stared at the top of her head with a raised eyebrow, which she couldn't see, even though she could pretty well imagine the look on his face…

"Is that enough '_doing nothing'_ for you now?" He enquired in a calm tone and rested his hands on her shoulder blades.

"Hmm… depends…" She murmured in a breathy voice, again losing herself in the rhythm of his heartbeat.

"On what?"

"… On what you want to do…"

"How about breakfast?"

"Uhm… that's okay I guess…" She mumbled into his chest, but instead of getting up, she only tightened her embrace and snuggled closer to him. She didn't really feel like facing this day so much… especially not with the weather and everything and then considering how warm and cozy it was in here, but that wasn't really what motivated her, to not do anything…

This was the first day since they had gotten back from their mission and the last two days have been more than just sobering – she didn't even want to imagine how it would be from now on… with even more people who could give her the silent treatment. Sakura had really mastered that one… She had resolutely refused to talk to her or even look at her and after some time her cold attitude had started to get to her and she had lapsed into silence as well, afraid that words would only make things worse and apparently it was really bad… she would have rather liked Sakura to scream at her or do something else, as long as she did something… this apathetic behaviour didn't fit to her. It wasn't even like she had shown her that she was mad at her and didn't want to talk to her, like it had been the case before, but like she didn't even notice her presence any longer – as if she was nothing but air…

To Naruto or Kakashi she had talked about the same way as usual, just a little more snappish and every time they had tried to talk to her about this situation she had gone deaf again and after some time no one had felt like talking any longer. It's really hard to imagine how long two days of journey could appear if you had to walk them in silence, even though you were barely able to hold back all these words you wanted to utter so badly.

All these situations you had planned out in your head and wanted to translate into action and then all those times in which you wished for a time-machine so you could travel back into the past and do everything in a different way. At first she had only thought about going back to that scene in the restaurant, but later she had realized that she would have to go back to the day he had been allowed to come back, or better the day in the hospital when she had told Sakura that she believed to have feelings for him and tell her that it really was the case and that it was apparently the same with him as well… She would have to travel back to the very day she had started lying, but since that was impossible she would have to bear the consequences now… so why leave this safe, warm, comforting shelter at all?

"So?" Sasuke asked with an impatient frown on his face, as she still hadn't moved a bit in quite some time.

"_So_…?" She repeated his monosyllabic question, stalling for time, but Sasuke just rolled his eyes and placed his hands on her upper arms, before he sat up and accordingly forced her to do so as well. Still she didn't let go of him yet, but tilted her head up to place a light kiss on his lips, before she leaned her head against his chest again and therefore missed the smug smirk which appeared on Sasuke's face.

"How come you're so clingy today?" He asked in an amused tone, while Sayuri lifted a hand to her mouth to cover another long yawn.

"Dunno…" She shrugged and looked up with a sceptical expression, as Sasuke lifted her off his lap and slipped out of bed. She pulled the blanket around her body to cover herself and observed through watchful eyes how the Uchiha put on his boxer shorts and then picked his dark, comfortable-looking shirt off the floor, causing Sayuri to wrinkle her nose in frustration. Missed the chance – stupid laziness…

Wrapped inside the blanket she slid her legs over the edge of the bed and sat there in a half crouched posture, before she ran a hand through her tousled hair, but then looked up as Sasuke stepped in front of her and slid his far too big shirt over her head, but leaving her to put it on by herself.

"Thanks." She beamed at him with a proud smile on her lips; she didn't really know if he had known how much she had wanted this, but she was happy about it anyway – that was number two of her three-point-plan…

"C'mon now." Sasuke muttered eventually and frowned about the way she tugged at the fabric of his shirt, but then cast her shiny eyes up again and nodded brightly. So she allowed him to pull her to her feet, before they both went downstairs and took care of the last point on her list…

…

…

At the same time, a blonde shinobi was already busy with eating his second breakfast or rather lunch, considering what he was eating… And even though it was actually his favourite meal, he slurped his soup rather half-heartedly, his deep blue eyes all the time fixed on the numerous tiny raindrops which ran down his kitchen window; at least some motion in this grey apparently abandoned world on the other side of the thick glass…

He really hated this kind of weather; not even because of the rain itself – he wasn't made from sugar so the rain wouldn't melt him – but it seemed as if everyone else was, so it was really hard to get someone to leave the house… Therefore he always connected rainy days with boredom and each and every time he was reaffirmed again and these were some of the rare occasions when he hated being right…

Far too soon his second breakfast came to an end as well and he really contemplated eating even a third portion, just for the sake of having something to do, something to fight the boredom – even if only by stuffing himself, because he was long past being hungry already. His half empty fridge thwarted his plans, though, but at least it gave him a new idea, which would be buying groceries – not exactly the most exciting thing but definitely better than nothing… So ten minutes later he left his flat, armed with plastic bags to protect his soon to be provisions from the heavy downpour, which seemed to become stronger with every step he took away from his house – how else could it be?

Once he reached the small shop, which was closest to his home, he already saw quite a lot of people, standing underneath the white and yellow striped awning, which provided some shelter from the rain – numerous sugar people who thought the water would kill them. Looking like a drowned rat, but whistling happily, Naruto squeezed past them, grinning about how they backed away from him as his wet clothes come in contact with their still mostly dry ones.

Inside, he picked up one of the small, red plastic shopping baskets and headed straight towards his favourite section, which would be the one with convenience food, obviously.

Once his basket was about as full as it could possibly get he walked towards the next section and still somehow managed to squeeze a bottle of milk into it as well, which even seemed like a little miracle to himself…

With a satisfied face, he looked at the rather one-sided products he had chosen – the same ones he had also chosen the week before and the week before that – you get the idea…

He was just about to walk to the checkout, when he saw a familiar shock of dark blue hair in the aisle next to the one he was in.

"Hey, Hinata-chan!" He called out, knowing that it would be fatal to surprise her; he had done that before – it had been meant as a joke actually. He had sneaked up on her and had then jumped into her path with a loud '_Boo_!' and next thing he saw was how the Hyuga crashed into a pyramid of bean cans and then vanished somewhere in the midst of it.

It had ended with them having to pile it up again by themselves – actually it had just been Hinata, but since he somehow felt like it had been his fault that she had fainted, he had volunteered to help her, but they've had quite a hard time…

Hinata had still been all shaky and had twitched every time he had addressed her and with that made the pyramid collapse again and in the cases when it hadn't been her, his gross motor skills had managed to do so and in the end they had needed almost an entire evening to get this thing done, but he can't deny that it had been fun… She wasn't the most talkative person, but she was definitely a pleasant company…

"N-Naruto-kun." She stammered wide-eyed and dropped a really big jar of pickles in shock. However Naruto was prepared already and stretched out his food to catch it in time, however he seemed to have underestimated the weight of that thing a little. He managed to catch it alright, but it seemed to smash his toes and squash them into the wet linoleum floor.

A soundless scream left Naruto's agape mouth and his eyes nearly shot out of their sockets, before he squeezed his teeth together tightly and forced himself to grin, just so that he could soothe Hinata a bit, who had clutched both her hands in front of her mouth and was bright red, as she so often was.

"Ehe…" Naruto grinned before he bowed down with almost robot-like stiffness and lifted the luckily undamaged glass jar off the ground, while he had to force himself to keep smiling, which became pretty hard as he saw his red and swollen toes peek out of his boots like tiny throbbing sausages.

"There you go." He squeezed out through clenched teeth, bravely keeping the corners of his mouth lifted up, before he passed the Hyuga her glass back.

"I'm so sorry, Naruto-kun…" She bowed down apologetically, looking at least as miserable as he felt, but he was a man and he wouldn't let it show, so he just shook his head and allowed his smile to grow even wider, but simultaneously more artificial and it's not like he could do anything about that…

"Never mind…" He exhaled explosively, as if he had held his breath for the most time of the day and moved his injured foot behind the other one, trying to get some ease by pressing his toes against his calf, but they were still throbbing painfully and he feared they'd grow out of his boot and burst like water balloons, flooding the floor in a gush of red.

"Uhm… I-I have an ointment… it should allay the pain…" She stuttered and started searching through the pockets of her white and lilac jacket, while the look on her face grew more and more desperate as she apparently couldn't find anything.

"I-I guess I must have left it at home…" She said more to herself than to anyone else, before she looked into Naruto's expectant face again and stuttered an apology with yet another light blush on her cheeks.

"Never mind… Let's go then!"

"… … go? Where to?"

"Well to the checkout and then to your house of course."

"T-t-t-to my… h-house…?" Hinata stammered, her pale eyes widened to the max and she looked really close to fainting again, which Naruto didn't fail to notice.

"Yo, Hinata-chan, are you okay? You need to sit down?" He enquired but didn't dare to touch her or even move closer to her… bad experience and so on… He really wondered how she got through life at all when she was like this with all people… even standing in a queue must be totally traumatic for the poor girl, but there had to be something he could do for her…

"To-my-house." Hinata rattled off in a weirdly monotonous voice, trying to figure out the meaning of these words, but Naruto apparently took it as approval and grinned widely.

"Well then – off we go!" He exclaimed and limped into the direction of the exit, but then turned around after a couple of steps and looked at the Hyuga who still hadn't moved a bit.

"Hey? Are you coming now or what?" He asked sounding slightly startled, and his words seemed to have woken her from her trance and after giving a hectic nod, she followed after the blonde, still feeling kind of dazed though…

Hardly more than fifteen minutes later, they had nearly reached the Hyuga main house – actually the way would have taken only about five to ten minutes, but with the way Naruto was limping and then he had also insisted on carrying all their bags and then also Hinata's umbrella – even though from the way he was holding it, it wouldn't have made much of a difference if they had left it away completely… so it had taken them a bit longer.

Naruto had talked through all the way back, while the Hyuga had merely watched him with awe, as he told her about his latest missions and even though she kind of felt uncomfortable it was still like a personal achievement for her that she was walking here with the Uzumaki, without having lost her consciousness yet.

She had injured him though, but if she hadn't, they wouldn't be here now, so maybe it was fate… And if it really was fate, then maybe there was no reason for her to be nervous. Maybe she should just stop thinking about what could be and just see what comes. It would be really good if she could do so, but it's not like she could switch her nervousness on and off like a lamp, she unfortunately didn't possess this kind of self-control…

They walked over the huge courtyard, which also served as a training ground most of the time, but was nothing more than a huge mud pit at the moment and Naruto only just noticed how much damage this building must have suffered from the last attacks. The entire left wing was still covered with scaffolds and tarps and half of the roof seemed to have broken down. He also remembered that there had been a tree, somewhere in front of the house but there wasn't anymore… just loads of mud and sea-like puddles…

Hinata looked a little ashamed as she noticed how Naruto was staring at the scaffolds and wanted to explain that it usually didn't look like this here, that this was actually a neat and clean place, but then they stood in front of the entrance door already, both dripping wet and then she couldn't get herself to utter the words anymore.

Even though it churned her up to think that Naruto would enter her house, maybe even her room, she still turned to him and asked: "Y-you want to come in?"

"Well sure – you want to leave me out here in the rain?" The blonde looked at her with a raised eyebrow and from one second to the next Hinata's skin turned bright red and she shook her head vehemently.

"N-No! – Please come in!" Hinata stammered with widened eyes and shoved the door open before she walked in and turned around again to make sure Naruto had done so as well.

"Would you mind waiting here a moment – I'll get it at once!" The blue-haired girl said in a hurried voice and before Naruto even had the chance to answer, she had already vanished behind the next corner, only to come back two seconds later and add: "Oh, and please do take a seat!", before rushing off again.

Naruto still stared at the corner behind which she had only just vanished, for a couple of seconds, before he looked down at himself and the small puddle which had formed around his bare feet and he didn't really think he should sit down and probably ruin the furniture, so he just slumped down to the floor and stared at his toes, which still reminded him of some certain breakfast products…

"What are _you_ doing here?"

The blonde perceived a voice and as he turned around he could see Neji, who was standing in the doorway and scrutinized him with a slightly startled expression.

"_Me_? What are _you_ doing here?" Naruto countered, mainly out of habit because of the slightly snappish tone in Neji's voice, before he recalled that he was a Hyuga as well and was therefore probably supposed to be here.

Neji seemed to be of the opinion that the whole thing was pretty obvious, so he didn't reply, but kept standing where he was and cast a definitely haughty look at the Uzumaki and raised an eyebrow expectantly, causing the blonde to finally explain the reason for his being here.

"Your cousin attacked me with some pickles." He grimaced and stuck out his tongue, while Neji now finally walked towards him and sat down on a low wooden bench, right next to the Uzumaki and asked: "Really? What did you do?"

"Said hello."

"I see…" Neji nodded in understanding. "you really shouldn't do that…"

"I shouldn't greet her?" Naruto asked and looked at the brown-haired man like he was out of his mind.

"Not straightforwardly…" Neji shrugged, but as he saw the clueless expression on Naruto's face he felt like he had to explain further. "You could be at least a little less brash and loud…"

"Woah – wait a second! What are you trying to say?" The Uzumaki put his hands on his hips and stared with a raised eyebrow at the Hyuga, who just rolled his eyes though and sighed.

"Nevermind." He shook his head. "So you finished your mission, huh?" He looked at the blonde, who just nodded in response, so he added: "How was it?"

"Tze, horrible… I've never done a worse mission than that one…" Naruto crossed his arms in front of his chest and nodded to himself, as if to lend weight to his statement.

"Hard?" Neji asked with a raised eyebrow, not knowing what to make of his words.

"Pfft – not at all!" Naruto grunted and took a deep breath before he started retelling the major points of their mission. "It was about the easiest and most eventless mission we ever had! We only had to look after a man who had to bring a necklace to some woman – I mean like a _necklace_ – what's up with that? As if we were still genin or something…"

"But aren't you a genin?"

"Wha- but… you know what I mean… like fresh from the academy and everything…" Naruto tried to talk his way out of this uncomfortable situation – really feeling kind of embarrassed right now, which happened rarely enough…

"And the Uchiha is a genin as well, isn't he?" The Hyuga sneered mockingly. "And then you wonder why you always get the lame missions."

"Pah – don't act like you're so much better!" Same as always he was irritated by the smug look on Neji's face – the super great Jounin Neji. "In a real fight I would so beat you!"

"Tze… of course you would…" Neji soothed him, but the irony in his words was hard to miss…

"Anyway…" Naruto tried to ignore that and carried on with his story. "The first time we encountered some enemies our client nearly gave them that stupid necklace himself, well yeah and that was the only action there was. The rest of the mission was just entirely boring and if that wasn't enough Sasuke and Sayuri admitted that they were a couple and then Sakura totally lost it… I mean… I don't know… she wasn't screaming around or anything, actually she was really calm, but if eyes could kill none of us would have made it back alive, that much is certain…" Naruto finished retelling the past days with a dramatic sigh, before he turned his attention to Neji again and observed the shocked expression on his face.

"They are a couple…?" Neji asked after a couple of seconds, adding a weird intonation to the single words…

"I know what you mean - who would've thought, eh? Someone actually managed to get to our ice-block…" Naruto grinned and looked into the air with a dreamy look on his face; he still couldn't get Kakashi's metaphor out of his head, especially now that he understood what it meant and therefore pretended it to be his own idea. Especially as Neji didn't reply to his words for a couple of seconds he saw it as his chance to show off and kick the Hyuga off his high horse.

"You know ice-block – like how cold Sasuke always behaves and now apparently not anymore… I don't know I didn't really see too much of a change, but if they say they were a couple there must be something, don't you think?"

Again he didn't receive an answer and he noticed that the Hyuga looked kind of downcast… just a little, but it was still noticeable and at first he couldn't make sense of his reaction but then he remembered what Sakura had said before their mission, after they hugged there and so on, or even what she said, as they still lived in the Uchiha mansion together… as she hinted that he and Sayuri had a date – Sayuri had denied that though, but either way they had been eating together, so maybe Sayuri wasn't interested in him, but he apparently in her. Damn how was that with '_A closed mouth gathers no feet'_? It was exasperating how he always managed to say the very wrong thing in the very wrong situation to the very wrongest of wrong person…

"Uhm… Neji…look I don't know how-" Naruto started but was then interrupted as Neji rose to his feet and before he could even ask what he was doing, the door on the other side of the room flew open and a very red and breathless looking Hinata rushed into the room.

"I… I found it!" She gasped out and first had to rest her hands on her knees to breathe through, before she looked up and only then noticed the presence of her cousin.

"Neji-nii-san… you're here, too?" Hinata sighed in relief, glad that he had kept Naruto company and that he hadn't been bored while waiting here…

"Hm." He nodded, his face back to blank again. "But I have to go now."

He started walking towards the door while Naruto rose to his feet and thought about holding him back, but then Neji came to a stop and raised his voice again.

"Be nice to her, Naruto."

"N-Neji…" Hinata stammered, all red again and was afraid the two of them had talked about her while she was gone, but Neji had already walked out, his departure allowing the pattering sound of the rain to enter the room for a moment, before it was shut out again as the door thudded heavily against its frame.

…

…


	12. Two birds, one stone

**12. Two birds, one stone**

_**Silence**__: A period of time without speech or noise; total absence of sound._

That's one way of defining what silence is, but it's very basic and covers only one aspect of it… there is so much more to silence than just the lack of sound. It can also be silent in a loud and crowded room, where words tear through the air like a swarm of disoriented hornets, hitting anyone in reach…

It's not the absence of sound in total, not necessarily at least, it can also be the lack of response, the lack of hearing the words you want to hear, the lack of attention from the person you want to get it from, or even so little as the lack of simple gestures. That's the worst kind of silence, the one that is hardest to bear, because in most cases it occurs as a reaction to something…

It was another of these shifts that would never end and there were more than just the usual reasons for that…

Actually, after that last mission, they had all been given five days off and the guys could still claim that for themselves, whereas Sakura and Sayuri had to work in the hospital again after only three days, because a group of badly injured Jounin had just gotten back from a long-term mission in the Land of Thunder.

The first part of the day had been really stressful and demanding, but in the course of time, after they had been able to stabilize them, it had gotten a bit calmer again and that's actually when it had gotten worse.

Once there wasn't so much to do anymore, it became impossible to miss the sphere of concentrated silence which was literally surrounding the pinkette and seemed worse than any word she might have said. It wasn't like she didn't talk to her… when their work demanded it, she would speak to her, but no more than necessary and without looking at her.

"Did you already treat the man in bed 6?" Sayuri asked her colleague after she had checked the medication of the person in the white-curtained bed next to it.

"No. That's your job." Sakura said in a blank voice, never averting her emerald eyes from the patient chart she was flipping through.

_Failed attempt at starting a conversation number 8._

Sayuri knew that she was responsible for bed 6; it had just been yet another desperate attempt to converse with the Haruno… She didn't really know what she would have expected for a response, this had just been the first thing she was able to come up with spontaneously… Yet more proof that this whole talking-thing really wasn't in her nature…

This is how most of the afternoon had passed. They walked on from patient to patient, did their jobs and talked as little as possible. And the quicker the hours moved to the end of their shift the more desperate Sayuri became, as she still hadn't been able to get through to the pinkette. Trying to save what can be saved, but Sakura really didn't make it easy for her.

About half an hour before their shift would ultimately come to an end, the two girls where standing in a narrow corridor, right in front of the huge massive door leading into one of the numerous operating rooms, where their presumably last patient for the day was being treated at the moment.

Sakura stood with her back leaning against the cold wall and her arms firmly crossed in front of her chest. Her green eyes were fixed on the window wall in front of her, but she didn't seem to look at anything in particular.

Sayuri on the other hand was sitting on one of the long wooden benches, with her hands folded in her lap and her eyes switched from her knees to her team-mate and back again. You should think that now that she was with Sasuke, her limit for tolerating silence would have risen, but apparently it was much lower than it has ever been.

"You think he'll be okay…?" Sayuri asked the pinkette hesitantly, not only because she was still anxious to talk to her, but also because she knew the person who had been really badly injured during his mission and was really worried about him – after all he was in the OR since four hours now and still no news from within.

"Hm…" Sakura merely shrugged, still not averting her eyes from the dirty glass, which softened the incident light like a filter.

_Failed attempt at starting a conversation number 15._

"Phew…" Sayuri sighed wearily, more than disappointed by how things were going.

Maybe she should stop talking about some random things and start with talking about what she really wanted to say, about what had gotten them into this precarious situation in the first place… So, even though it took her an awful lot of overcoming, Sayuri finally turned her head towards the pinkette and raised her voice.

"Sakura… can't we… can't we just talk about it?" She asked in a timid voice, even though she tried really hard to appear calm and confident, but unsurprisingly that didn't work…

"Pfft…" Sakura exhaled sharply and closed her eyes. "You wanna talk…? Now?"

"Mmm-hmm…" She nodded, already intimidated by the snappy tone in Sakura's voice, but definitely willing to get this over with…

"Tze… You had all the time in the world to open your mouth and now you wanna talk…" The Haruno snorted and now finally looked directly at her team-mate for the first time this day and her eyes seemed to be filled with anger and Sayuri couldn't help but to swallow hard as she saw that… "Okay then – let's talk. Tell me: when did that start with you?"

"That's hard to say… a short time before he came back, right before we were attacked by Deidara…" Sayuri murmured, trying to keep up the eye contact to read something in Sakura's features, but still there was nothing but rage and apparently also disbelief…

"Is that so? Are you sure, it wasn't more like… phew… I don't know… about the time we used to live together… as I've seen you and you promised faithfully that it was just a '_misunderstanding'_?" The pinkette glared at her and raised an eyebrow waiting for her to reply and something about her posture told Sayuri that it didn't really matter what she'd say, Sakura had already decided on what to believe…

"But it was a misunderstanding. There hadn't been anything then. Really… "She defended herself meekly, but was then interrupted as Sakura snorted scornfully.

"Are you sure about that? Because it would make sense… Like we were here… all worried about you, because you were supposed to be missing, when in reality you were just visiting your _boyfriend_."

"I didn't visit him! I ran into him by accident and then they more or less kidnapped me and-"

"-and still it was about then that you came together… after he _kidnapped_ you – who is supposed to believe you that?" Sakura interrupted her brusquely and cast another one of her all too famous and not to forget intimidating killer glares at the violet-haired girl, who had shrunken down on the bench by now.

"But it's the truth…" Sayuri murmured helplessly and looked down at her knees again. "I would have told you earlier but-"

"BUT YOU DIDN'T!" Sakura barked and spun around to face her directly, but as she saw the shocked expression on Sayuri's face and then also that of a nurse who just happened to pass them and was apparently startled by her volume, she closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath, trying to calm down a little.

"You knew that I liked him and still you hadn't thought it necessary to tell me. Friends just don't do that…" She shook her head and looked down at the floor briefly, before she focused her eyes on her team-mate again and looked at her with a mixture of disappointment and hurt.

It was really hard to defend yourself when your opponent had so damn good arguments… Sayuri knew she was right; every single word of what she had just said was true, she hadn't behaved like a friend would, so Sakura had every right to be mad at her.

"You're right…" The violet-haired girl murmured in a faint voice and averted her eyes to the floor again. "I wish I would have told you… but it's too late now."

"Yes… it's too late now." The pinkette repeated her words in a blank voice and stared into space as well. "I can't trust you anymore… I just neither have the time nor the nerve to deal with fake friends…"

These words were like a slap in the face. She had known that Sakura was disappointed and she had known that she had totally screwed up – she had even been sure that this is exactly what it would come down to and yet she didn't even feel nearly prepared for this… all her great knowledge didn't even help her a bit to deal with this entire situation… all she could do now was to surrender, to accept that their friendship was apparently over…

"I just want you to know that I'm really sorry…" Sayuri apologized in a shaky voice. "I never did anything with the intention of hurting you…"

"… It's too late now…" Sakura repeated again in a toneless voice, her saddened emerald eyes likewise fixed on the grey linoleum floor, which seemed to be a thing of greatest interest today…

After that none of them spoke another word, until, after an endlessly long seeming time, the door of the operating room finally flew open, before two men, dressed in the typical white uniforms most medic-nin wore, walked out, greeted them briefly and informed them about how the surgery had gone, before they vanished again.

After they were gone, the two of them walked into the room and on to the bed which stood in the middle of it and looked at the brown-haired man and noticed that he was snoring lightly.

Actually this would have led to a comment, but right now none of the two felt like speaking, so they just walked to either side of the bed and started rolling it out of the room, through numerous corridors and finally into an empty hospital room in one of the upper floors, where they connected him to various machines.

"Look who we've got here…" The Jounin raised his voice in a drowsy tone and stared through lidded eyes and with a hazy look into the room, apparently trying to follow the movement around him, but not really able yet.

"Shigeru – you're awake already?" Sayuri turned around to him and regarded him with a surprised expression, before she walked up to him and pulled out a small flashlight with which she checked his pupil reaction.

"Long time no see." He grinned seeming far less dazed than just a few seconds ago and was apparently not bothered by the fact that someone was fidgeting around at his eyes.

"You're right…" Sayuri smiled mildly, glad that there was at least one person in the room who wasn't mad at her… She had met Shigeru the first time when they had done a mission in Kusa-Gakure – actually the first one as the old Team7, right after Sasuke had come back the first time. Since then they had been given quite a few missions together, especially around the time they had feared an attack by Orochimaru and had therefore positioned more ninja at the borders and all teams had gotten wildly mixed anyway.

"What happened to you?" She asked and finally moved the flashlight away from his face.

"We've been sent to the Land of Thunder, to keep watch on a suspicious group of ninja, who were all known to bear a grudge against the Hidden Leaf… Phew… hard to believe that that's already three months ago-"

"_Three months_?" Sayuri asked in a surprised tone, while Sakura kept quiet, since she had never had much to do with the Jounin anyway and carried on taking care of his IV.

"Tze… you didn't even notice I was gone this long, huh?" He sounded slightly offended and even managed to put on a pout, even though one half of his face seemed a little less inclined to do what he wanted to than the other, which made it look kind of asymmetric, not to say funny…

"Oh… of course I did, but I didn't think it was just one mission…" Sayuri said truthfully, but the injured man didn't seem too convinced.

"Wooh… I think I smell a lie here." He nearly sang the words in an amused voice, while Sakura exhaled sharply, as if she meant to back him up.

Sayuri lowered her head a little, but otherwise pretended she hadn't heard that and turned back to Shigeru. "So how come you nearly died here…?"

"Tze, tze…" He shook his head and smirked slyly. "I'm afraid that is top secret. I can't tell you that we've been right with our suspicions and I can't tell you either that we've gotten involved in fights with them and most of all I can't tell you that we so kicked their asses." He grinned proudly and winked at the girl next to him.

"Well then you better keep it to yourself…" Sayuri returned the grin and was really glad that he was here – not that he was injured of course, but that he was here and managed to cheer her up. It was much easier if she could hide her worries behind a smile, especially when she didn't even have to do much to summon that smile…

"You must have a whole lot of holiday now, don't you?" She asked and stepped to the side as Sakura squeezed past her, looking a little annoyed, since she was doing all the work here while Sayuri was just chatting to their patient.

"That sounds like there is a bit more to that question…" He raised an eyebrow meaningfully and then added with a wide grin on his face. "Does my favourite nurse crave for spending some time with _moi_?"

"Pah – I'm not a nurse!" Sayuri pouted, really glad that there was no real nurse in the room, who might feel offended by her words, but then she cocked her head to the side as Sakura left the room without saying another word, which made her feel quite doleful again, but she tried to hide that as best as possible.

"How come you're in such a good mood anyway? You just woke up after a really long surgery – aren't you supposed to act a little more drowsy and suffering?"

"Nah – I never felt better!" He assured her and grinned cheekily and now Sayuri realized what was going on.

"Oh…" She exhaled and cast another look into his patient chart.

"What '_Oh…_'?" He scrutinized her sceptically, waiting for her to explain that weird and apparently meaningful sound.

"Well… I fear that's just because you're drugged…"

"You mean I just think I feel good when actually I'm in pain?" He stared at her through wide eyes and received a hesitant nod in response, which caused an uncommonly thoughtful expression to appear on his face.

"Hmm… well… I guess that's okay… As long as I can still think I'm alright then that's okay, I guess…" He grinned and winked at the violet-haired girl, who looked a little startled at the moment.

_As long as he could still think he's alright… _

It seems like he hadn't understood that whole thing… the drugs made him unaware of the pain… it's not like his own thoughts kept it away… but still these words kept haunting her… think you are alright… Maybe he had some more experience with that… maybe it really did work; how comforting it would be to believe you could just think your pain and all your worries away… It was definitely worth a try – it would be great if it worked and even if not, she couldn't be more than disappointed and she had quite some experience with that, so there was nothing to lose…

…

…

Late in the afternoon, Sayuri finally left the hospital; she had again staid longer than she actually had to, but on a voluntary basis, so no reason to complain…

First thing she did when she arrived her small hut was to take a long shower, trying to get rid of all these different, pungent hospital smells, which seemed to have soaked through her clothes, her hair and every single pore of her skin – or maybe it was just in her nose and she imagined all this…

About an hour later, as the sun was only just beginning to set, Sayuri was on her way to the Uchiha compound; actually she was a bit late already, but not much and since they hadn't planned to do anything special anyway it shouldn't matter too much.

She walked across the open yard, right in front of the huge mansion, when she heard some voices and a couple of seconds later she could see a well-known shock of red hair, which could only belong to a single person.

"Karin…?" She stared at the back of the woman, who stood there in the doorway, right in front of Sasuke, who now looked past the redhead and met her gaze.

"Sayuri-chan!" Karin spun around on her heels and clapped her hands together, with an obviously fake smile on her lips – apparently the interruption bothered her, but she should have known… she was this great, ultra-skilled chakra censor type, wasn't she? - So she should have already sensed her from a distance. But maybe she had… maybe this was just an act – another one of her intrigues… she couldn't effort to lower her guard with her around, the last time should be proof enough…

"Hey." She replied in a neutral voice and regarded her with a light frown on her face, before she walked to Sasuke and kissed him briefly, feeling some weird kind of satisfaction at seeing the sour look on Karin's face and she was actually tempted to kiss him again, like a lioness marking her territory, although she wouldn't go so far as to pee a circle around him now.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but are you helping me now or not, Sasuke?" Her face had gone back to normal again and her voice was as snappy as usual.

"Help?" Sayuri asked not knowing what she was talking about.

"I just need two strong, male hands for a little job…" Karin purred with a light smile on her lips, before she crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised an eyebrow in a challenging manner.

"What is it Sayuri – can you spare him for half an hour?" She asked and kind of startled the violet-haired girl, since she still didn't really know what she was talking about, so she looked up at Sasuke, but his face was entirely blank so she couldn't really read anything in it.

"Well… he can do whatever he wants…" Sayuri furrowed her brows and now drew Sasuke's gaze back to her and still tried to figure out what this whole thing was about, when Karin raised her voice again.

"Oh… that's good to know…" The red-haired woman murmured slowly and cast an ambiguous glance at Sayuri, who now felt like it had been incredibly stupid to say this. After all Karin was like really good-looking, and just far too self-confident and not to forget so very obviously interested in her boyfriend – and she had just told him he could do whatever he wanted – as if she didn't care about it, which was clearly not the case…

"But what do you want to do anyway?" She asked hesitantly and again saw the hint of a smile play about Karin's lips, as if she saw her question as a sign for suspicion – for weakness…

"I bought some new furniture and asked Sasuke to help me get it here… what have _you_ been thinking?"

There it was again – this question and especially her intonation and then that self-satisfied look on her face… she was definitely trying to make her look bad here…

"Nothing – that's why I asked." Sayuri retorted, trying to sound entirely unimpressed.

"Good, then can we go now, Sasuke?" Karin smiled at the Uchiha-heir, who didn't look too keen on this whole thing though, which kind of relieved Sayuri a bit. Still she didn't know why he was doing this then. He was thankful alright, after all she had helped him with achieving his goal and he felt like he was in her debt, but that didn't mean that he had to do whatever she asked him to.

"I'll be right back." He murmured and pushed the door behind him further open, motioning her to go in, before he stepped past her and walked off with Karin, who couldn't help but to look over her shoulder and shoot a meaningful leer at the violet-haired girl.

Once they were out of sight, Sayuri walked in and closed the door behind her, before she leaned her back against it and closed her eyes, while taking a deep breath.

So he was gone with Karin now.

And she had more or less _allowed_ him to do whatever he wanted to do…

But she trusted him now… They had kind of talked about it and he had assured her that there was nothing between him and her, so she believed him. This was definitely just another of her plans to separate them – it was easy to tell from the way she had talked and behaved – just another act, but this time she was above these things. She wouldn't allow herself to be unsettled by her again. Still she didn't feel too good about this whole thing, but that was probably because of how the day had gone in general and just because she trusted Sasuke, didn't mean she trusted Karin…

She still didn't know why he slept with her anyway. Actually she had meant to ask him, but she hadn't really known how. How can you ask someone why he's had sex with another person? Had he done so because he was attracted to her? It definitely seemed to be the most plausible explanation, but then that didn't really fit to who he was, or who he had been. He had never been known for his womanizing, on the contrary. He was this unapproachable, emotionless person who had never shown the slightest interest in the opposite sex or other people in general, so it was surprising to think that he of all people would succumb to his urges and have a one-night stand. But it must have been somewhat in the course of the time he had been with Orochimaru that he must have changed, had grown up and had apparently developed an interest in women – otherwise he wouldn't be with her now. Then he had realized that he was attracted to Karin and they had slept with each other. And Karin was completely different form her, so if Karin was apparently his type how come he was with her then? Maybe he had felt attracted to her on a physical level, but just couldn't stand being near her, which would explain, why he wasn't with the redhead now, but with her, the girl he apparently wanted and that should be enough for her. Quite frankly, she hadn't really expected him to say something of that sort, but she was really glad he had – it was just damn reassuring…

Even so it might be good to tell him what she had said after all… just to make sure he knew what she was up to, because at times she really doubted that he did… But then it was quite some time ago now and it was probably a bad thing to rake over old coals… Especially considering that she hadn't told him about it right after it happened, which had been a really stupid thing… She'd have to learn to be more open with him and tell him when something bothered her – swallowing the bitter pill and submission had no place in a relationship… she should know that by now…

She ran a hand through her hair and opened her eyes again, staring at the dark and empty corridor in front of her. Somehow this house was different when she was alone here, or just when Sasuke wasn't here… It was so huge and most of the corridors were shadowy and grey, it sometimes actually seemed as if its dark past would shine through the walls, but somehow only when Sasuke wasn't around – as if his presence could somehow force it back…

She sighed again and let her eyes wander across the entrance region; there was nothing special to it; just a simple cupboard and a single step, which led to one of the main corridors and the staircase. Still she didn't feel comfortable, but it wasn't really surprising – after all every time she had been alone here was connected to some not so very nice memories…

She finally pushed herself off the door and tried to fight back those irrational thoughts, before she slipped out of her shoes and walked upstairs, but didn't really know what to do with her time, so she just strolled through the different hallways and peered into room after room. Even though she had once lived here she hadn't really seen all of them yet, especially the eastern part was still pretty much new territory for her.

It was somehow weird to see some of these rooms – especially those which had escaped their cleaning tour the year before and were still left in the very state from about eleven years ago…

One of these new rooms caught her attention in particular; some kind of workroom or library. She didn't know if it was okay, but she couldn't help but to walk into it. As she did, the dust which seemed to cover each and every surface, seemed to spring to life and danced through the air, so she came to a stop and waited for it to settle again before she dared to walk again and take a look at the really large bookshelf at the wall across from the door, containing everything from small to big, narrow to thick books, but what they all had in common was an almost finger thick layer of dust which made it impossible to read their titles.

At first Sayuri thought about blowing it away, but then she figured it would be better to just pat it off, so she wouldn't end up inhaling it. There were various different pieces among it, something to just about every subject area, except for fiction maybe and there were noticeably many medical books among them and one really huge volume about herbs and their uses caught her attention in particular. She pulled it out of its row and brushed her hand over its cover, exposing a very detailed illustration of some plants, above which was the book's title, written in a very old script, which was pretty hard to read.

She opened to a random page and leaned the upper edge against one of the massive shelf-boards, since it was pretty heavy, before she started reading in it and was really impressed by some of the things she found in it.

"What are you doing here?" She perceived Sasuke's voice and twitched in surprise, since she had been so distracted by the book that she hadn't even noticed his entrance.

"Just reading… These are some really interesting books… was anyone in your family a medic?" She asked and stared back at the two shelves, which were entirely filled with medical books.

"No. My father thought it was necessary to have knowledge of everything, so he bought all these books." Sasuke stated in a blank voice, even though he was talking about his family here…

"Really? Your father must have been really intelligent…" Sayuri looked with an awed expression over the at least five hundred books here and tried to visualize how much knowledge they must contain…

"He never read them. He was just a collector…" Sasuke said and leaned back against the door frame, while putting his hands into his pockets and keeping his eyes fixed on the girl on the other side of the room, who again focused her attention on the book she was holding.

"What a waste…" She sighed after some time, as she got more and more into the book. "This is really great…"

"You can keep it." Sasuke ripped her out of her thoughts again and caused her to turn her face back to him.

"Oh… I didn't mean it that way…" It kind of made her feel uncomfortable to accept a present from him; especially something like this here; it was very old and apparently handwritten so it had to be very valuable. "I couldn't accept that."

She watched how Sasuke shrugged indifferently and clasped the book shut before she squeezed it back into the bookshelf again and wandered with her fingers over the backs of all the other books, until she reached the end of the shelf and looked at the dark wooden bureau beside it, which looked mainly grey though. There were numerous picture frames on top of it, completely grey as well, so you could think they were tiny mirrors if you looked at them from a distance.

Her eyes wandered across the different picture frames, before she picked one of them up and patted the dust off it, revealing a picture of Sasuke and his family. He was very young there, maybe four or five and was carried piggy-back by his brother who smiled into the camera, while Sasuke held up bunny ears behind his head and cast a toothless grin into the camera. To their left was their father, who was wearing some kind of uniform and had his hands crossed in front of his chest – on a whole he looked very stern, but also fair and authoritative - a typical leading figure… And then to their right was their mother, a kind looking woman with long black hair and equally black eyes, looking very much like her two sons…

"Your mother is beautiful…" Sayuri whispered and couldn't avert her eyes from the tender smile on the young mother's face and the proud look in her eyes…

"_Was_." Sasuke corrected her and now finally left his position at the door and planted himself right in front of Sayuri, who gazed at him with an uneasy expression, before he took the picture out of her hands and put it back to where it used to stand.

She still side-glanced at the numerous pictures and couldn't keep a saddened expression from appearing on her face… It was cruel. Here were all these pictures of this apparently happy family, all seeming very close to each other the way they were smiling into the camera, as if they meant to show how good life could be, when in reality…

"How can you bear this…?" Sayuri breathed in a muted voice and turned her eyes back up to Sasuke, who wore a light frown on his face, but then closed his coal black eyes briefly, knowing exactly what she was talking about…

"It's not a question of '_can'_ – it's something I have to do." He stated in a blank voice, as if this whole thing didn't affect him at all and yet there was something about his eyes, just something… a different kind of blankness, not the usual one, something more deep and thoughtful…

"Living in this house, carrying my clan's name and restoring it's former reputation – it's the least I can do to preserve their memory." Sasuke said while looking at the pictures himself, before he turned back to the girl in front of him and found her looking at him, with an equally thoughtful expression on her face.

This was the first time she had talked to him about his family and it somehow made her wonder if this house felt the same to him, when he was alone here, as it did to her… if it wasn't a privilege for him to have a house as great as this here all for himself but rather a sacrifice. A sacrifice he felt he had to make, but still nothing more than a sacrifice…

Somehow she felt like hugging and comforting him now, but she was sure that he neither wanted nor needed that – he had his own way of dealing with these things and that one didn't include admitting weakness, even though he still had that look on his face, as if he felt a little uncomfortable talking about these things, but didn't want to let it show. Maybe he was strong and was in control of his feelings, but that didn't mean he didn't have any – alone the fact that she was here with him showed that – so instead of comforting him, she should probably try to distract him, even if only in case she imagined all this, simply because she wanted to believe that it didn't leave him all unaffected…

"So… what did Karin buy?" She tried to change the topic and it seemed as if Sasuke was grateful for that, at least his face went back to entirely blank again – his usual emotionless mask.

"A table." He replied curtly and caused a startled expression to appear on Sayuri's face.

"She needed your help for carrying a simple table?" – Now at the latest she knew that Karin had really just been acting this whole thing… kind of pathetic to think that she had to come up with such a stupid story to get him to spend some time with her…

"I doubt it." Sasuke shrugged, but then furrowed his brows as he saw the grin on Sayuri's face.

It was really good to know that he had apparently seen through her, even though it wasn't really hard - against expectation discreetness didn't seem to be Karin's strong point…

"So… what do we do now?" Sayuri asked, still barely able to bite back the gloating grin, so she wrapped her arms around Sasuke's neck and kissed him lightly, while he reflexively put his hands on her hips.

"Let's go eating." He breathed against her lips, causing her to open up her eyes again in surprise.

"You mean _go _as in '_go down into the kitchen and eat there'_?" She murmured while pulling her head back a little to look into his eyes.

"If I had meant that I would have said so." He merely replied and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"So… you mean… go eating… like… _a date_?" Sayuri asked hesitantly, feeling somehow strange while saying the words…

"Call it as you like – so?" He asked somewhat impatiently, still waiting for her to respond, even though the beaming smile on her face should have been answer enough…

"Well – yes!" She grinned and kissed him again, already looking forward to her first real date and even if he might not call it that way, to her it definitely was one…

…

…

It was already dark outside, or at least it should be, but the clear sky was speckled with numerous tiny stars and the full moon stood like a cosmic lamp in the middle of the indigo firmament, bathing the streets in a pale silvery glow.

This pleasant, subtle light soon yielded to a more salient and colourful one, as the two shinobi came across the district in the Village Hidden in the Leaves in which most shops and restaurants were located.

They were walking side by side, with only little distance between them, but without touching each other, like most of the other couples did they came across… But that was okay… she felt confident with him now, she didn't need to display their closeness through these kinds of gestures, which didn't mean she wouldn't like that, but still it was their privacy and no one else's business…

"Where do you want to eat?" Sasuke stopped, as they were in the middle of the street and looked from one of the numerous restaurants to the next, before he looked down at the girl beside him who still gazed indecisively up and down the street,

"Uhm… I don't know…" She sucked in her bottom lip, before popping it out again and finally turning to the dark-haired man. "You decide."

"Hn." He pressed his lips into a thin line briefly, before he looked to the side and then started walking into that direction, closely followed by Sayuri.

It was a relatively small but nice-looking one. It had two dining areas both in- and outdoors, which were mainly separated by a half open wall, which enabled you to look into it and had some paper slides at the top of it, bearing the restaurants name on them. They walked across the outer terrace, all of whose tables seemed to be occupied, with vividly chatting or at times just quietly dreaming people and walked into the restaurant, where it was far less crowded.

They didn't wait for any waiter, but walked directly to one of the a bit more secluded tables, since they were all completely identical anyway; they were all rectangular with two benches at either side of them and behind theirs there was also a big plant, which served a bit as a cover – it wasn't really romantic, but she hadn't really expected so anyway…

They sat down across from each other and ordered their food by a young waiter who cast a baffled look at them and stayed longer at their table than he would have probably had to without really doing anything, until a rather distinct look of Sasuke drove him away.

Once they were more or less among themselves again, they began chatting carelessly, or rather Sayuri did so, while Sasuke posed some questions occasionally, or answered some himself, even though in a rather reticent manner, most of the time. Still they were both having a good time; Sayuri told him most of her day, but left the whole Sakura-part out, since she didn't want to dampen the mood, or maybe she just wasn't ready to talk about it yet, and while she did, Sasuke kept his eyes fixed on her, as if he was really interested in what she had to say. They were so absorbed in their conversation that they nearly forgot about the people surrounding them, until their waiter came back and brought them their food, but that wasn't good…

Not that the food was bad – on the contrary, it was really good; she wondered why she had never eaten here before – but now that they were eating and staring at their plates and not talking anymore, their surroundings seemed to force themselves back into Sayuri's awareness…

With the falling temperatures outside it had gotten fuller in here, so they weren't really sitting at a secluded table anymore but just at a table and she could hear the people talk and could hear their names quite often… actually just his name – he was the famous one here, but she couldn't help but to think that '_that girl'_ in combination with his last name, referred to her… but maybe she was just imagining this…

She looked to the side, trying to move her head as little as possible and saw two women at the table next to them who were huddled together over their table and whispered secretly, while casting some stealthy glances at them every now and then, until they noticed they were caught and looked pointedly into the other direction. On the other side it was pretty much the same and she still heard people murmur his name more often than not. It seemed like they were _THE_ discussion topic here and she really didn't like that… She couldn't stand the thought that all these people were watching them, talking about them and probably inventing their own stories about them, as it was always the case… She really hated being in the centre of attention – regardless for what reason, however the temporary one made it just all the worse…

She directed her attention back at the still fairly full plate in front of her and all the delicious food on it and noticed that she wasn't really hungry anymore. Or maybe still hungry but she just didn't feel like eating, now that she could literally feel all these curious and speculative eyes on them, which made her feel really nervous and self-conscious. Still she didn't want something like that to ruin their night so she tried her best to block them out and forced herself to carry on eating again, really slowly though, because she felt so shaken that she was afraid she'd miss her mouth and poke her food into her cheek, which would probably just fuel even more rumours then…

"Are you okay?" Sasuke asked after he had finished his plate and had quite some time to watch the girl in front of him stare at her food with an almost intent expression.

"Huh?" She looked up and met his gaze, before she nodded hesitantly and fixed her grey-blue eyes on the collar of his black pullover. She had about eaten up now, so this was the time to carry on talking again, so she could focus on his voice, instead of all these other ones, especially since the words they uttered became all the more blunt and suggestive over the time and it became really hard to listen to them, but she just couldn't think of anything to say now…

"Would you excuse me for a moment?" She asked in a faint voice and looked at the young Uchiha-heir, who just nodded his head lightly but scrutinized her with a piercing gaze. His nod was almost like a starting signal for her to get to her feet and rush off to the restroom, all too aware of all the gazes, which followed her, or maybe just imagining they would, but fleeing from them anyway.

Once the heavy wooden door fell shut behind her, she leaned against it and put a hand to her forehead, while filling her lungs with the ocean-fresh air and then holding her breath.

This was far more difficult than she would have thought – she had known that people would talk – after all gossiping was about the favourite occupation of Konoha's inhabitants, but still she wouldn't have expected this to affect her so much – but then she wouldn't have thought they'd be this blunt and blatant either…

She exhaled the held-breath again and dropped her hand down, before she roamed her eyes through the white-tiled room, making sure she was really alone here and then walked up to the sink and stared at her reflection. She couldn't get these words out of her head – the questions of what they were doing here, what he – Uchiha Sasuke – was doing here with her anyway and then their conclusions to it, which she really tried to banish from her mind. She wondered if Sasuke didn't hear them or if he just really didn't care about all this – he always said so, but it was still hard to believe… at least for her, who was just completely unsettled by all of this…

She ran a hand through her hair and then bowed down to splash some cold water into her face, hoping it would help her calm down a little again…

She shouldn't care about what they said, about how they couldn't imagine why she was with him – or rather he with her… But then she didn't really know that herself – but he wanted her, he told her he did, what more could she want?

She turned off the water and looked into the mirror again, before she groped for some paper towels and started drying her face. It had been a nice evening so far – a really pleasant change to the shitty start of the day, so she shouldn't let those people she didn't even know anyway ruin this for her…

She closed her eyes again and took another deep breath, mentally bracing herself, before she opened her eyes again and walked out of the restroom again.

She kept her eyes fixed on the wall in front of her, trying not to look into any faces, until their table came into view and she could see a well-known blonde man sit on the bench right where she had sat before.

"Naruto?" She raised her eyebrows in surprise and stared at the back of her team-mate's head, until he turned around and flashed a wide smile at the violet-haired girl.

"Sayuri-chan – how are you doing?" The Uzumaki asked in a loud and cheerful voice, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"Oh – I'm fine, but what are you doing here?" She wore a puzzled expression on her face – really not understanding it since this was clearly not Ichiraku's…

"I was just on my way home when I saw Teme here and decided to say hello – I nearly missed him – hidden as you are– but I guess I've got a good eye…" The blonde chattered carelessly, not even taking into consideration that he might not be welcome here, which wasn't really the case though, at least not in Sayuri's opinion, she didn't really know how Sasuke thought about it, but she was somehow glad he was here…

Since it really didn't look like Naruto would leave any time soon, Sayuri walked to the other side of the table and sat down next to Sasuke, who then put an arm around her waist, which no one could see though, since there was the wall behind and the table in front of them, but still she gave him a familiar smile and moved closer to him, before she looked to the front again and noticed that Naruto was staring at them with a happy face.

"So you're _really_ a couple now, huh?" Naruto asked and grinned archly at the two people in front of him, who just nodded in response, even though that hadn't really been necessary, simply their posture made it easy to tell… "Say, Sayuri-chan, how is our ice-block here in private – is he also so cold when you're among yourselves or is he actually more of the cuddly kind – have you ever been alone with him anyway?"

"Well… different, no, not really and yes." She worked off his questions one by one and first caused a clueless expression to flit over Naruto's face, until he finally understood what she meant, which caused another thoughtful look to appear on his face as he apparently had to recall all his questions again, so he wouldn't get them mixed up.

"Not really, but practically yes?" The blonde asked and grinned mischievously, while Sasuke sighed in annoyance, which then caused Sayuri to grin as well.

"Just… not really…" Sayuri shook her head lightly and smirked before she looked up at Sasuke, who still appeared clearly annoyed, but wouldn't say anything to defend himself.

"Mmm-hmm…" Naruto crossed his arms in front of his chest and nodded knowingly before he seemed to be hit by a sudden idea and nearly jumped onto the table.

"Hey! You won't believe who I saw yesterday!" He said in an excited and above all loud voice and looked at his team-mates expectantly, but didn't carry on then – as if he meant to keep them on tenterhooks and have them begging for finally being relieved of the suspense…

"Well – who?" Sayuri asked after a couple of seconds, as the silence was only just beginning to get awkward…

"Hehe –guess!" He grinned impishly and stared from one of his opposite's to the other, already sure that they wouldn't know anyway and actually it didn't even seem like they'd try, but then he didn't really give them a chance, because he answered his own question after hardly more than two seconds himself – apparently too excited about this whole thing to keep quiet any longer.

"Ino and Kiba!" The blonde enlightened them, but somehow didn't get the reaction he would have expected to this news.

"…So…?" Sayuri asked, while Sasuke observed him with a frown on his face.

"I mean _together_… You know… like you." The Uzumaki explained, but still his team-mates didn't seem too surprised by these news… "Just sayin'… It's obvious that spring is in the air…"

They carried on chatting for quite some time and Sayuri didn't know if Naruto's appearance had caused the people to stop talking about them or if Naruto was just so loud that she didn't hear them anymore – either way she didn't notice them any longer, so she was really glad that he was here, but simultaneously wasn't, because it conveyed the impression that they needed other people around to feel comfortable among each other and that was clearly nothing she wanted to think about right now. It wasn't true anyway. She had no problem with being alone with him, but apparently only as long as they were really alone…

"Let's have some desert! – Your treat, Sasuke!" The Uzumaki proposed after he had finished the plate he had only just ordered, which had put an end to their date at the latest, but this evening among friends was about just as good.

"Tze – no." Sasuke refused bluntly and caused a shocked expression to appear on Naruto's face.

"What? You can't do that!" The Uzumaki exclaimed with a terrified face, his eyes wide as saucers. "Have you ever seen the prices here? I don't have any money left – you want me to get arrested or do the dishes here?" He whined and turned a little pale from one second to the next.

"You shouldn't have ordered anything then." The Uchiha murmured relentlessly, while Naruto sunk down on the bench, as if he meant to vanish under the table, but then shot up again and pointed at the half-open wall which overlooked the street.

"Look there is Neji!"

Now a shocked expression appeared on Sayuri's face and she stared at the street but couldn't see him yet from where she was sitting. She hadn't told Neji about them yet – and if Naruto had been able to see them in passing then Neji should be able to do so, too, so she should better intercept him beforehand and explain everything to him.

"Could you excuse me for a second?" She turned towards Sasuke, who still had his arm wrapped around her and therefore kept her from just getting up, but instead of letting go, he only drew her closer and observed her through narrowed eyes.

"Why…?" He asked with an edge in his voice, so Sayuri was sure he knew what she wanted to do, but didn't think highly of it…

"Neji doesn't know yet and I think I should be the one to tell him…" She murmured in a muted voice and looked deep into Sasuke's eyes, until an uneasy giggle on the part of Naruto drew both their attention to the blonde.

"Uhm… well… I guess it's too late for that – I already told him…" The Uzumaki grimaced and looked apologetically at the girl in front of him, who again wore a shocked expression on her face.

"Then that's settled. I don't know why you even bother to talk to him after what happened… " Sasuke stated in a blank voice, arousing Naruto's curiosity, since he had no idea what Sasuke was talking about, but somehow liked the dramatic direction things were taking, but none of his team-mates seemed to pay any attention to him.

"He was drunk and he apologized – and he doesn't remember it anyway. "Sayuri explained in a muted voice, causing Naruto to lean closer to them so he wouldn't miss anything.

"Tze… He doesn't remember and still he apologized – and you fall for that…" The Uchiha hissed in a cold voice and stared at the Hyuga, who had only just appeared in their visual field, but didn't seem to have seen them himself.

"It's not like that…" She likewise stared at Neji who had already passed the restaurant by now and was probably on his way home.

"Please…" She said in a hurried voice and took Sasuke's hand in hers to remove it from her waist, before she hurried out of the restaurant under Sasuke's disapproving eyes, while Naruto cast another curious glance at him, determined to squeeze even the tiniest detail out of the Uchiha.

Once she was out on the street, she saw that the Hyuga was already a couple of metres ahead of her, so she started rushing after him.

"Neji!" She called his name and caused the Hyuga to come to a stop and she couldn't help but to think that he looked kind of tense as he turned around to her and scrutinized her with a blank expression.

"Sayuri." He said her name in greeting, but his voice was so cold that it caused an awkward feeling to spread in Sayuri's chest.

"Is it true?" He asked, before she could even say anything herself and caught her slightly off-guard. She needed a few seconds to recollect herself, in which she noticed that Neji's gaze wandered past her and to the restaurant, where he must have seen Naruto and Sasuke, before he focussed his pale eyes on her again and now finally received a nod.

"Yes…" She breathed and looked past him, unable to bear that reproachful look in his eyes.

"I see." He murmured in a low voice and then turned around, preparing to walk off again, but Sayuri held him back.

"Wait! … Please…" The violet-haired girl called out and caused him to come to a stop and turn around to her again, looking slightly impatient though…

It was far more likely for Neji to behave this way…. Much more than these sudden and entirely uncommon surges of emotion… but still she didn't want him to part this way…

"Don't you want to say anything…?" She asked in a pleading tone and forced herself to keep up the eye contact.

"What do you want me to say?" His voice was entirely unimpressed and he still stood there as if he was about to go any second.

"I don't know…" She shook her head helplessly. "Just… say something – say everything is still okay…"

The Hyuga was quiet for a couple of second, but kept studying the pleading look on the young woman's face, before he exhaled sharply and muttered: "I could but it would be a lie and you know that…"

"… Is this all because of your stupid clan rivalries…?" She shook her head and gazed uncomprehendingly at the brown-haired man.

"Tze… no. It's because he's an asshole and I won't stand by and watch him hurt you."

"So you just walk away and hurt me yourself." She had to bite into her lower lip to keep it from trembling and looked at the ground to his feet, so she didn't see the uneasy expression that flitted over Neji's face for a brief second, but vanished just as fast again.

"It doesn't have to be this way, but you've made your choice…" He murmured, but now his voice didn't seem as blank and cold as before any longer, but had a saddened tone in it.

Sayuri turned her head up again and met his eyes with a mixture of confusion and hurt and noticed how his features seemed to soften, but then his gaze moved over her shoulder again and an upset expression appeared on his face.

"He's already staring at you – you should go back before he loses his temper and takes it out on you…" He snarled and stared through narrowed eyes at the Uchiha, before he turned back to Sayuri again.

She could defend him now, but that wouldn't really change anything - nothing she could say would be able to change anything about the grudge they held towards each other and more or less grew up with….

"So that's it now…? You just walk away?" Sayuri asked in a shaky voice and had to open her mouth slightly, as it became harder to breathe with the growing lump in her throat.

"For the moment…" Neji sighed and now looked to the ground himself, unable to bear looking into her sad face, without giving in and saying everything was alright after all…

"I just need time…" He murmured in a low voice and now searched for Sayuri's gaze after all and earned an assenting, though noticeably unhappy nod from her, which caused him to turn around again and leave for real this time.

That was a new record. Gotten rid of two friends on a single day.

She stared with a faraway expression at the spot where Neji had just vanished, as if she still hadn't realized that he was really gone, before she ran a hand through her dark-hair and inhaled deeply, already bracing herself for going in and acting all cheery and smiley again, but even the dry-run seemed impossible to get over with…

But it had been a really tough and mostly disappointing day, so it wasn't so very surprising that she felt entirely unsettled now… But then she recalled Shigeru's words again: _As long as you can still think you are alright then its okay_… Self-deception has always been her strong point so she should really put that into action now and just swallow that humongous lump and go back to the restaurant to have at least a bit of a good time, now – after all there were two people, she liked a lot waiting for her… she wasn't alone… She still had Sasuke and Naruto, who seemed earnestly happy for them – probably the only one… except for Suigetsu maybe, even though he was mainly searching for a reason to tease them – which he successfully did, just about every time she saw him and even though that really annoyed her, she always had to bite back a proud grin, or maybe an embarrassed one, she didn't really know, but either way he managed to make her smile…

Still feeling kind of queasy, she walked back into the restaurant; at once in the focus of Sasuke's and Naruto's expectant gazes – even though Sasuke didn't really look curious, but rather reproachful – it had been quite some time now since he had last looked at her with such a cold expression…

She sat down next to him again, but this time he didn't put his arm around her like before, didn't even look at her again and now Sayuri was pretty sure that he was mad at her for having gone to Neji – as if he was jealous or maybe just angry that she hadn't done as he had told her…

"So how did it go?" Naruto asked her in an eager tone, apparently unaware of the change in the mood between the two of them. Now Sasuke looked at her after all, but she felt reluctant to meet his gaze, churned up as she still was, she couldn't stand that grim look of his and least of all did she want to talk about this whole thing.

"He already knew…" She merely said what everyone knew anyway and before Naruto could point that out, she forced herself to smile and tried to change the topic. "So what about desert now?"

"Nah… stop torturing me – you know I'm broke…" Naruto grimaced but then looked at his opposites through puppy dog eyes, trying to move them to treating him after all…

"Tze – just order something." Sasuke hissed, entirely unaware of how happy he had just made the blonde.

"Thanks teme!" The Uzumaki laughed. "Now it's like we're having a triple date, huh?" His joke didn't really get the reaction he would have liked to have – instead of laughing his two team-mates seemed rather grim, so he turned around and looked towards the counter.

"Yo, waiter!" He waved a hand in the air and a few seconds later their waiter stood already in front of them.

"So… what do you want?" Naruto turned to the people in front of him, who still looked kind of tense and observed them expectantly.

"I don't know… something with a lot of chocolate…" Sayuri shrugged and looked at the waiter, who rolled his eyes and wrote it down then, before he looked at the Uchiha, who just shook his head.

"Okay then and for me another bowl of ramen please!" Naruto grinned and caused the people around him to frown.

"Ramen? I thought you wanted desert…" Sayuri looked at him with a startled expression, but Naruto only shrugged and replied. "What better way is there to conclude the evening than with ramen?"

"About everything else…" Sasuke muttered dryly, causing Sayuri to chuckle lightly, before she sucked in her lower lip, as she saw the sour expression on Naruto's face.

"Did you have a clown for breakfast – or are you a comedian now…?" The blonde grinned wryly and made it really hard for Sayuri to keep a straight face, whereas Sasuke unsurprisingly didn't seem to have a problem with that…

About ten minutes later they were brought their food and same as before silence returned to their table and in spite of all the chocolate, which is actually said to release endorphins in your brain to make you happy, Sayuri sunk back into a dreary mood again. Somehow they must have given her the wrong kind of chocolate – it definitely didn't work properly… She couldn't help but to think about Neji again and then also Sakura and how everything seemed to go wrong lately – even Sasuke seemed to be mad at her now, even though she wasn't so sure about that, since she hadn't really looked at him in the last minutes - she had been far too busy with forcing the corners of her mouth to stay up, so the food had come right in time – a bit longer and she would have probably been seized with a cramp, which must feel really weird there…

She didn't like the thought that she had just abandoned a friend for a lover. But then Sasuke was her friend too and actually for even longer than Neji, even though the two of them had spent some more quality time together, but Sasuke was definitely catching up on that… Still she wondered if he was worth it… From how she felt for him he definitely was, but then she was probably entirely lovestruck and maybe didn't see things the way they were.

What if she woke up one day and realized that she had hurt and scared off her friends for a simple infatuation? But it didn't really feel like that… things between them were still new – theoretically they were a couple since only a week now - at least officially – but just because it was new, didn't mean it wasn't real… Even if he was mad at her now… … No… He was definitely mad at her – third time's the charm, right? – It was either him, or she'd say something incredibly stupid and offending and would actually manage to scare off Naruto, who was about the most loyal and forgiving person there was…

If she had known how this day would go, she'd have thought twice before getting out of bed this morning – but all of these things had been inevitable, they were a reaction to something she had done – so it's had to come down to this sooner or later… She should definitely work on how she treated her friends, before they were all but gone – and she couldn't stand the thought of being all alone again…

"Sayuri-chan? Are you even listening?" Naruto was impatiently waving a hand in front of her face and now finally managed to rip her out of her thoughts…

"I'm sorry… What did you say?" Sayuri twitched in surprise and now raised a frown on Naruto's face.

"You have a _reeaally_ weird attitude towards food…" He murmured. "You're like completely unresponsive when you're eating…"

"Hm…" She merely shrugged and leaned back against the wall, before she cast a hesitant side-glance at the man next to her, whose eyes rested on his brim-full glass though…

"You look tired…" Naruto observed, after he saw Sayuri heave a weary sigh and just couldn't avert her eyes from the broad glass in Sasuke's hand.

"It's been a really long day…" She murmured monotonously, without bothering to look up… Actually she was rather afraid of looking at anyone now; she could feel that lump from before return and didn't want to do anything that might boost its growth… It would probably be best to call it a day and just go home, before she could make things worse…

"I guess I'll go home now…" She sighed and now finally drew Sasuke's gaze towards her.

"Thank you for tonight…" She managed to hold his gaze, but didn't know how to say goodbye now – and not only because they were in a public restaurant here… But there was something in his eyes that caught her breath and she could feel the lump grow again, so speaking was not really an option, therefore she leaned closer to him, slowly, though, so she could stop and pretend she had just looked for something, in case he should turn away, but he didn't, so she placed her lips on his lightly and somehow that actually brief goodbye kiss, became longer than she had intended it to… She just couldn't seem to get her lips away from his again, just keeping them there, barely touching his – just enough to know he was still there – there for her and she didn't even bother about Naruto's whistling and the munching noises he made as he was apparently imitating them.

Only when the first tear rolled down her cheek, did she finally pull away from the Uchiha and turned her face to the other side at once, hoping he wouldn't see it, before she murmured another goodbye and got up from the bench.

"What about me, huh?" Naruto grinned stupidly as Sayuri had only walked past him and caused her to come to a stop, which caused a surprised expression to appear on his face – however that was nothing compared to how he looked as Sayuri leaned down to him and kissed him on his cheek.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun." She whispered in a breathy voice, really feeling like thanking him simply for being there, for knowing that in case it should come down to it, she'd still have Naruto and Sasuke, before she turned around again, paid her bill, even though Sasuke had actually invited her, and finally walked out of the restaurant.

Naruto still stared after her and placed a hand on the spot where her lips had touched his cheek, which was same as the other one bright red now, before he turned around and stared, still with an entirely confused face, at his opposite, who was looking at him through narrowed eyes and now a sly grin started to raise the corners of his lips.

"Hehe – looks like you have a rival now…"

"Tze – shut up dobe." The Uchiha glared at him, before he directed his eyes towards the street and watched his girlfriend walk away before she, along with many other people, was consumed by the captivating darkness of the night.

…

…


	13. Leap in time

**13. ****Leap in time**

An entire year had passed since the attack on Konoha and normality had returned to the Village Hidden in the Leaves – there were no scaffolds any more, no ruins or destructed buildings, not a single stone or brick where there shouldn't be one – nothing reminded of the previous attack, which had nearly caused it's downfall.

It was close to spring already, which means by Konoha's standards the weather should actually remind of early summer, but this year it was a bit different. It wasn't so very cold any more, but not warm either and the whole scenery was a little short of buds and greenness in general and the sky had this wintry grey rather than a friendly blue colour…

Today was no different; ever since the beginning of the week, the sky was covered with heavy, grey clouds, which spat out a mixture of rain, snow and hail, which at once merged with the mud on the ground and considering that it was Friday already made you really wonder how Konoha's buildings had managed to avoid being swallowed up by the soft, soggy earth.

It was seriously annoying. Hardly anyone was willing to even put a foot out of the door, not to speak of actually sloshing through that sludge, but for most unlucky individuals staying at home was not really an option – after all there was something called work, which in most cases couldn't be done in one's own four walls, so whether they wanted to or not, people had to swallow the bitter pill and get out into that awful weather…

It was already late in the afternoon and for Sayuri the working part of the day had ended precisely five minutes ago and yet she was walking up the staircase, heading for the uppermost floor, which had become some kind of habit for her lately. There were mainly patients' rooms up there and she wandered through one of the dreary grey corridors, until she reached its end and opened the last door there.

The small room on the other side of it was likewise bathed in a cold, drab light, coming from the windows, against which the heavy raindrops and marble-sized hailstones pelted forcefully. However the person in the bed, didn't seem to notice any of that, but that wasn't really surprising, considering that he was in a coma since nearly a month now…

Even though it wasn't really necessary, Sayuri stepped into the room as quietly as possible and walked up to the bed, to peer at the young boy, who was definitely the patient who worried her the most at the moment and whom she spend most thoughts on, even when she had long left the hospital.

He was maybe thirteen or fourteen years old and from how he lay there, you wouldn't necessarily figure out what was wrong at first… you wouldn't be able to tell that he had died four times already since he'd been brought here and was still not sure of ever entirely recovering from his injuries… He didn't even come from this village and she didn't know his name or anything about him, or rather his character and yet he had managed to become her favourite patient – or maybe '_favourite'_ wasn't the right word… He occupied her a lot; she was deeply moved by the fate he had suffered and after she had guided him from death to life quite a few times already and saw him struggle to stay alive day in and day out, she had built up some kind of connection to him, which was definitely an unprofessional and not to forget unhealthy thing, considering that it was still not a given that he would make it at all, but she hoped he would… He had suffered enough so there had to be an end to it….

A month ago, as Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru and some others had been on their way back to the village, after having done a mission in the Tea Country, so quite far away, they had come across a tiny village, which had been under attack at that moment… They had done their best to help the people and fought back the intruders, but they had already been quite late and there weren't too many survivors anymore. This boy was one of them. He had apparently gotten into a fight between two ninja, or had maybe tried to fight himself – that wasn't really clear. Sasuke was the one who had found him and then he had already been unconscious but the other two had still been fighting. He had beaten them, but in the course of that fight the house behind them had broken down and this boy got buried underneath the burning debris. Sasuke had saved him and brought him to the others. It was nearly over then – the attackers had either been dead or had fled and they had only been able to save three people. One of them, an old man, had even been conscious and had told them what this had been all about – that it hasn't been a simple attack, but a political thing. The whole village belonged to a single clan and after their leader had died it had come to a fight for his succession… Consequently the clan had split up into two halves and the smaller grouping had apparently hired foreign ninja, which had led to this situation… That was everything he had managed to say before he had lost his consciousness as well…

After that they had hurried back to Konoha, but a short time before they reached it, the woman, who had been the third survivor, died, so it was just the two of them now, the boy and the old man and both of them were in quite a bad condition…

Sayuri watched him with a faraway expression, before she checked the numerous monitors and machines surrounding him, noticing that his heart was beating much stronger and steadier than it used to do lately.

She averted her eyes from his EKG again and changed the position of the soft pads under his legs, before she moved him into a slightly different position to prevent decubitus, which was about the last thing he could need now, wounded as he was already… He had suffered several bone fractures and also severe burnings, so he wouldn't get away from here any time soon… if he made it that is…

A weary sigh passed her lips, while she tugged the blanket tightly around him again and then walked to the window, but was barely able to see the ground through this opaque veil of sleet. And she'd have to get home through this storm – Aaamazing… At least it wasn't hailing so very heavily anymore so she shouldn't be in any danger of being struck down by a clump of ice, coming literally out of a clear blue sky… Just not so very clear and not really blue either…

She sighed again, really not feeling like taking an icy shower out there, when she heard a wheezing sound and turned around right away. Her eyes were drawn to the bed at once and she noticed that the boy had opened his eyes a little and was now breathing heavier.

"You're awake…" She moved to the bed and leaned over him so she could check his pupil reaction before she turned to the side and realized that his heartbeat was slightly quickened, but still regular. A few seconds later a nurse came into the room and was just as surprised about finding the boy awake as Sayuri was…

"When did he…?" She asked and laid a hand onto his forehead to check his temperature, while Sayuri placed her hands on the side of the mattress and looked into his eyes, which were moving unfocusedly through the room though, but at least he was moving them, which meant he was apparently in control of his body…

"Can you hear me?" She asked and laid a hand on his cheek and pressed it lightly to the side, so he would look at her and apparently it worked, at least he managed to focus his eyes on her for a couple of seconds, before he nodded lightly and closed his eyes again.

A light smile rose on both Sayuri's and the nurse's face about this clear response to her question, so she tried again.

"Do you remember anything? Your name maybe?"

He opened his eyes again and parted his lips slightly and the effort behind this simple gesture was hard to miss. Still he kept on moving his lips, mouthing some words, while no actual sound passed his lips, before he pressed his eyes shut again and finally murmured: "…Nao…"

"Nao…? Is that your name?" The dark-haired nurse asked and received a barely perceptible nod in return, which clearly spoke for the still extremely weakened state of their patient and told them not to strain him anymore with questions, which could be dealt with later anyway…

So he finally woke up… Looked like she would spent a bit more time inside this dry place after all, but it's not like she was sorry about it… Better spending some time here on a voluntary basis, than being forced to do so because of a nasty skull fracture…

…

…

In the course of her way back, the rain had ceased a little and there was luckily no hail anymore, but it had only stopped raining entirely when Sayuri had reached the front door of the huge, traditional mansion in the centre of the Uchiha district. She shoved the wooden sliding door open and entered her _home_, where she was at once welcomed by her joyfully barking dog.

She didn't really live here – only about eighty percent of the time… She only stayed here when Sasuke was there, but whenever he was given a longer mission, which happened quite often lately, she'd end up going to her _other home_ again, even though it's not like she had to… He had kind of asked her to move in with him, like entirely, since she had practically been living with him anyway… And even though she had been kind of flattered by this proposal she still couldn't do so – even though it would be much more convenient…

She didn't really know if it was just because of this mansion, even though she had gotten used to it by now, which still didn't change anything about the fact that it was so huge that you felt like a tiny insect in a world of giants, or about keeping a certain amount of independence, or simply because she wasn't really ready for something like this yet – living together sounded so final, which was actually not a bad thing, so maybe it was really like Sasuke said and she kept her hut as an emergency solution, in case they wouldn't work out.

She didn't really believe that though… things between them were going pretty well at the moment – they were arguing at times, like about this living-together-thing, but that was nothing special – every couple did and actually she was even glad that they had gotten to that arguing part, which wasn't really natural for her…

Actually she was always determined to avoid every possible conflict whenever there was a way to do so… But by now she felt comfortable enough with him around to actually voice her opinion and tell him when she didn't like something he did, which had cost her a whole lot of overcoming at the beginning, but by now it was okay and not only with him… He had kind of taught her to say 'no' at times and not just put up with anything – even though he had probably intended her to say no to others and not so much to him… but he created the monster, now he had to live with it…

She bowed down a little to pad her dog on his head, but he at once used the chance to cover her hand with saliva, as if she wasn't soaked enough already… Grimacing, she stood up again and wiped her hand on her trousers, before she unbuttoned her coat, but then buttoned it up again, deciding to use the little break the clouds were taking at the moment to walk the dog, which was probably in dire need, considering that he hadn't been allowed to go into the garden, in this downpour…

So she walked out again and could actually see a narrow ray of orange sunshine break through the cloud cover, which raised a light smile on her lips, but that one vanished pretty quickly again, as her huge black dog dashed past her and caused her to get sprinkled with mud.

"Damn…" She cursed and looked down at the tiny, but numerous light brown spots which now dotted one leg of her black trousers. Even more laundry … She should have learned her lesson after the last times this happened, but apparently that wasn't the case…

She slowly walked up the street and out of the entrance in the wall, which separated the Uchiha district from the rest of Konoha, but came to a stop then, as she caught sight of two people, walking straight towards her.

"Hey." She smiled at her housemate and one of her new neighbours, who then both came to a stop right in front of her.

"Sayuri." Juugo nodded in greeting, while Sasuke who stood next to him, merely looked at her, with his usual emotionless mask, since they had seen each other already (very early) this morning when he had woken her up, practically in the middle of the night still, as he had returned from his mission.

"You've been with Tsunade again?" She asked the auburn-haired man, who then nodded his head in response

"Really? - So how's it going? Are you making any progress?" Sayuri enquired and was sure she could see how Juugo's actually blank expression was lighted up a bit…

"It's hard to say…. Tsunade said she was beginning to figure out what the jûin is all about and she gave me a potion which is supposed to balance my chakra and prevent sudden changes…" He murmured in a vacant voice and stared at the dark blue cloth at the top of the gate right behind Sayuri's back.

"But… does it work?" She frowned about the faraway expression on Juugo's face and wasn't really sure if he was listening to her or not, so she switched her eyes from him to Sasuke, who held her gaze for a moment, before he turned to the man beside him, who still hadn't said anything…

"Juugo." He said his name and raised an eyebrow expectantly, apparently successful in bringing the auburn-haired man back to reality.

"I didn't lose control in nearly four months… But Konoha is a good place that makes it easier to keep my impulses down…" He murmured in a monotonous voice, before he tossed his head back a little like he just woke up from a little nap and roamed his eyes unfocusedly through the area in front of him.

"I better go home now." He murmured calmly, before he nodded at the two shinobi and walked into the Uchiha compound, heading towards the small house he had chosen for himself.

They both followed him with their eyes, until he was out of sight and Sayuri wondered why he had been so absentminded, before she turned back to Sasuke as he raised his voice: "Where are you going?"

"Don't know… Just walking…" She shrugged before she directed a hopeful glance at her opposite. "You wanna come with me?"

He looked at her for a couple of seconds, before he shrugged and emitted an indifferent sound, causing a wry grin to appear on Sayuri's face, since she hadn't been prepared for such wild enthusiasm by her actually so apathetic boyfriend.

"So… how was the meeting…?" She asked once they started walking side by side over the plastered path which led away from the Uchiha compound.

"Tze… guess…" He sighed, again displaying this so very uncommon enthusiasm.

"Well…. That's probably the price of being an important personality …" Sayuri giggled and caused the raven-haired man to roll his eyes.

He really hated these public meetings and did not see any sound reason why they wanted him to attend them at all. It's not like he listened to what they were saying or that he participated in any elections or any of the voluntary works they always searched people for. To him it was mainly biding his time and he was sure that at least sixty percent of the others thought the same way too and yet it was his duty to go there at the beginning of each and every month or when they happened to have a new striking idea in the middle of it and just couldn't wait until the next meeting to talk about it…

"Oh – you know what? Nao finally woke up."

"Is that so…" Sasuke murmured calmly but left it at that, slightly disappointing his girlfriend who had hoped to get a few more words out of him by changing the topic, but all she got was silence, which kind of raised her suspicion…

"You don't have any idea who I'm talking about, do you?" She asked and eyed the man next to her sceptically, who was same as always walking with his hands in his pockets and his black eyes fixed on the path ahead of him.

"No." He confirmed her suspicion bluntly and caused Sayuri to grimace in frustration. Theoretically she had gotten used to talking to a wall, but up to now she had actually been sure that it had at least been a wall with ears, so her breath wasn't entirely wasted… well… wrong.

"Nao – the boy you saved…? I've been talking about him for… I don't know… the whole last month – did you even listen to me?" She pouted and noticed that Sasuke raised an eyebrow and was looking at her now from the corner of his eyes.

"You never mentioned his name." He explained and watched how a shocked expression appeared on Sayuri's face, which then yielded to an abashed grin as she realized her error… She only knew his name since a few hours now, so there was actually no way he could have ever heard it… embarrassing…

"Uhm… Sorry…" She apologized sheepishly and then sighed about the smug expression which appeared on Sasuke's face – he just soo loved being right and especially being told so…

"Hn." He smirked haughtily and put an arm around Sayuri's waist, which earned him a crooked smile from the violet-haired girl.

"So he woke up." The Uchiha looked down at her and received an eager nod, before she began informing him about the boy, who was only alive thanks to him…

They carried on walking for a couple of hours and only came across very few people, but it was easy to tell who of these were ninja and who weren't… There were those who sloshed through the mud and those who did it like them and just walked above it, which made this whole taking a walk thing quite nice, in spite of the weather… Especially as they walked through one of the numerous parks in Konoha, which was pretty much one huge mire with a few trees in it and smelled so nicely of wet leaves, moss and rain, they were reminded of the advantages you had as a ninja. It was already pitch-dark when they finally left the forest behind and found themselves in front of Konoha's main gate, where they could see a small gathering of people.

She was sure she could hear Sasuke murmur something, which sounded suspiciously like cursing, as he caught sight of the well-known, but not necessarily well-liked shinobi, who stood only a short distance away from them and now noticed them as well.

"Yo Sasuke-teme, Sayuri-chan!" Naruto started waving at them, clearly motioning them to come to them and now Neji and Jiraiya who were with him looked up as well. Sasuke stared at them, but didn't make a move into their direction and was apparently busy at the moment, with staring Neji into the ground, same as always.

"C'mon." Sayuri whispered and looked at the raven-haired man in a prompting manner, before she gripped for his hand and pulled him towards the three people, who stood right underneath the huge gate, as if they had only just arrived here, or where about to leave…

"Hey guys." She smiled at the three men in front of them, but then came to a stop, still a few steps away from them, as Sasuke no longer allowed her to carry on dragging him with her and let go of her hand, so they now stood a bit distanced from the small group, only just near enough to convey the impression that they were a part of it. Sayuri tilted her head up to look at him, but just as expected his whole attention was focussed on Neji and Neji's on him of course and same as always their behaviour caused Sayuri to sigh in frustration.

It had taken some time, but she had managed to fix things between her and Neji again and they were almost as close to each other as before, which she hadn't thought possible but somehow it had worked, even though it was a little different now all the same…

With Sakura it hadn't quite gone this well… She mainly saw her when they were working together and it's not like she seemed mad at her any longer… They were talking to each other in a nearly casual manner, as if nothing had ever happened – neither the breach of trust nor the fact that they had been really good friends at all… As if they were nothing but mere colleagues, but that was probably better than nothing – better than getting screamed at or better than being treated like mere air… At least she existed for her again, even though that was mainly limited to being surrounded by the hospital walls… They didn't do anything together in their free time any more but that wasn't really surprising – she wasn't as forgiving as Neji, but then she had probably hurt her more than him, so maybe, in a few years they'd settle things as well – even though that was probably just wishful thinking…

Still she was glad that she had at least managed to save her friendship with Neji. However Sasuke wasn't in the least happy for her. He hated the Hyuga and couldn't stand it when they were seeing each other or merely went on a mission together, which happened really often lately and Sasuke blamed Neji for that of course – as if he was choosing the teams personally… And then, as of late, they were also training for the ANBU-exam Neji wanted to take by the end of the month, so they really did spend a lot of time together and Sasuke used every opportunity to point that out… She would have never thought he'd be this jealous, but then only when it came to Neji… She could meet with Naruto, Shikamaru or even Shigeru, who was even openly flirting with her when Sasuke was around, whenever she liked and he didn't care, but as soon as it came to the Hyuga he had zero tolerance and would probably like best to just forbid her to ever see him again and it really didn't matter how often she told him that they were just friends – he had this fixed image of Neji as the one who had cornered her in that alley and wouldn't change anything about that… well and then there was his name, of course, which was probably the main reason for his aversion.

Neji wasn't so much better either. He tried to ignore the fact that she was in any kind related to the Uchiha and would never visit her or even hang out with her when Sasuke was around. However he'd talk or complain about him quite often, like whenever they had an appointment and she was only a little bit late, he'd ask in this really snappy voice if _that Uchiha_ hadn't let her out, or he'd wonder why he hadn't tied her to the railing in the garden yet…

They both used every chance they could get to make the other look bad and it was really annoying and Sayuri tried her best to just ignore them and change the topic whenever possible, but in these really rare occasions when they actually met face to face it wasn't that easy to overlook or overcome the tense situation…

Still she tried her best and turned to Naruto and Jiraiya, who were likewise watching the two rivals with slightly anxious expressions, however on Jiraiya's lips there was also a tiny, clueless smile, even though the rest of his face looked rather tense, as if he prepared to act as an arbitrator in case it should become necessary.

"Uhm… what are you doing here?" Sayuri asked hesitantly and looked from Sasuke to Neji, before she turned to Naruto and Jiraiya who apparently did the same.

"Eh… Ero-sennin here just came back, so Tsunade asked us to escort him to her, you know…" Naruto explained and cast a meaningful look at the girl in front of him, who got the hint and just waited for Jiraiya to fly off the handle and start defending himself, but he seemed too absorbed in watching the two men in front of him.

"Now, now boys… So much bad blood… What's the matter anyway?" Jiraiya asked in a fatherly tone and planted himself right between the two members of the rivalling clans, but they didn't deign to look at the Sannin, who probably really had no clue what this was all about, considering that he hadn't been in the village in quite some time.

"Nothing's the matter." Neji said in a cold voice and raised an eyebrow haughtily, displaying that he was the wiser of them by giving in and avoiding further conflicts, while Sasuke didn't seem inclined to even react to that symbolic gesture.

"_Sasuke_…" Sayuri whispered his name through clenched teeth, so that no one else would hear it, while she pinched him in the side, not so sure if he had even noticed so because of the thick pullover he was wearing, but then he finally tilted his head down to look at her.

'_Be nice…_' She mouthed the words, but from the way he looked at her you wouldn't be able to tell if he had heard her or not. However his posture was very stiff, same as Neji's, as if they already braced themselves for an attack and the Sannin seemed to be aware of that, too, which caused an uneasy expression to appear on his face and not even Naruto, who was actually known for his quick tongue, seemed to know what to do now and only directed a nervous glance at the violet-haired girl.

But then the situation was relaxed a little as Sayuri's entirely mud-covered dog leaped onto Naruto's back which he always did to greet him, but somehow only with him and no one else and nearly caused the Uzumaki to lose his balance and land in the mud, which wouldn't have made that much of a difference to his clothes anyway…

"Wha- Get off of me! Sayuri-chan, call him back!" He whined and stretched his hands out in front of his body to avoid another attack, but instead of helping him, Sayuri only started giggling and soon Jiraiya joined in on that, even though he felt kind of embarrassed for his student all the same and even Neji couldn't keep at least a tiny smirk from rising on his lips.

"Tze – and you call yourself a ninja…" Neji snorted, saying what eighty percent of them were thinking at that moment and which was the very line, which made the Uzumaki dislike the Hyuga somehow.

"Pah - just shut up!" The blonde groused, but raised only more laughter among the people around him.

"I got to go now…" Neji said, now that it didn't look any longer like he'd flee from the Uchiha.

"Remember our mission. " He said directed at Sayuri, who then nodded in response.

"Sure – goodnight then Neji." She smiled at the Hyuga and was kind of glad that he left.

"Phew… that was strained…" Naruto sighed once Neji was gone.

"You still don't get along any better, huh?" He asked his team-mate, but that one didn't pay any attention to him, but turned around to look straight into Sayuri's face.

"So you have a mission." He murmured and raised an eyebrow and Sayuri didn't miss the accusing tone in his voice.

"Mmm-hmm…" She nodded her head lightly and searched his gaze, before she defended herself in a soft voice, not really wanting to argue here in front of other people. "I only know it since this morning and I have no idea what it is about, so I didn't really think about it…"

"Tze." Sasuke snorted in disbelief and pressed his mouth into a thin line, causing the girl in front of him to sigh.

"Look, how do you think I could hide something like that from you? When I'm gone for a couple of days you would notice at the latest, right?" She asked and peered into his dark eyes, but didn't receive any noticeable response.

"You would notice, wouldn't you?" She asked again and raised an eyebrow, causing Sasuke to roll his eyes in annoyance.

"How could I possibly miss that…?" He frowned and raised a half-hearted smile on Sayuri's lips.

"See…?" She sighed – it hadn't really been the best answer, but probably all she could hope for, so she placed her hands on his shoulders and kissed him briefly, Even though it started of pretty one-sided, but then Sasuke quitted acting stubborn and kissed her back.

"AH – not again!" Naruto screeched and turned around, while covering his eyes with his hands and singing to himself, whereas Jiraiya watched them with a stunned expression and couldn't keep his mouth from falling open.

"Hah! So this is what this was all about?" The white-haired man concluded, as they finally parted and at once raised a deep blush on Sayuri's cheeks, who only just noticed that he had apparently been watching them and the way Naruto behaved wasn't so much better either. He was still standing with his back turned on them and hummed something to himself, but probably loud enough that people could hear him from miles away.

"Love-triangle in the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Who would have thought that our sweet little Sayuri would become such a man-eater… it's not like it wouldn't fit – you have blossomed into a gorgeous young woman in the last years, but… well I guess it's always the quiet ones who…uhm… never mind…" He waved them off and grinned in the for him so typical sly manner and there was even some kind of proud expression on his face, but instead of returning the grin or feeling honoured by this apparent compliment, Sayuri wished for the earth to just swallow her up, but it had never yet done that and she didn't really believe it would do her the favour now of all times…

"It's not like that!" She said in a high voice and stared with widened eyes at the old man, but that one didn't seem to care about her meek attempts of defending herself or probably just didn't want to hear them.

"Gotta write that down." The Sannin murmured to himself and pulled out a scroll and a small inkbottle with pencil, before he sat down on the ground, even though nothing but his feet actually touched it and started scribbling something.

Moment of privacy: Naruto was busy being a jerk – Jiraiya was busy being a pervert.

Sayuri turned back around to Sasuke and didn't miss the gloating smirk on his face.

"You're mean…" She pouted and buried her face in his pullover, not so sure if she'd ever get that blush out of her face again. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his chin on her head, while she put her arms around his waist and inhaled a mixture of his usual scent and that of washing powder, coming from the cozy fabric of his pullover, but then took a step away from him as there was again some motion in the people around them.

"That's gonna be a bestseller!" Jiraiya chuckled eagerly and rolled up the scroll again and rose to his feet.

"Stop that already!" He scolded his student who was still acting like a baby, and smacked against the back of his head, causing the blonde to spin around again with an irritated look on his face.

"Hey – what was that for?" He groused and rubbed his head, while shooting an upset glare at the white-haired man.

"_What was that for_?" The Sannin repeated his words, while wildly gesticulating with his arms. "That was for acting like a baby! No wonder you're still single!"

"Wha- What has that to do with anything?" Naruto screeched, trying to make up for his uncomfortable feeling by raising his volume.

"_What has that to do with anything_?" He repeated his words again. "Well everything. How come Sasuke here has a girlfriend and you don't? – Didn't you say you'd never lose to him?"

"Ah – I won't!" Naruto defended himself and now had a vivid blush on his cheeks as well. "Who said I didn't… well… just because…hmmm…"

"See? I knew it…" Jiraiya nodded commiseratively, feeling truly sorry for his student, who admittedly reminded him a little bit of the way he used to be when he was young, however that sympathetic expression soon vanished from his face again as he turned his attention back at the two shinobi in front of him. He already opened his mouth to say something they probably wouldn't have wanted to hear anyway, when Naruto beat him to it…

"Oh before I forget it – We planned on doing something together, like I don't know going eating or drinking – just an evening among friends… how about it?" He stared expectantly at his two team-mates, who looked a bit startled which was easy to tell from the way Sasuke raised an eyebrow before he asked: "_We_?"

"Yes! – Us old rookies and whoever else might be interested, – just gathering people at the moment… don't really know when yet, won't be easy to find a day when everyone has time but I'll definitely tell you once I know – so what do you say?" He again scrutinized his opposites with a hopeful look on his face and the smile on Sayuri's face already told him that she was definitely in on it, whereas Sasuke still looked pretty sceptical and not exactly convinced…

"Soo… what do you say?" The violet-haired girl repeated Naruto's words after a couple of seconds and turned to the side to look directly into Sasuke's face, but his blank expression made it hard to tell what he thought, even though from how she knew him she was sure that he didn't want to…

"I bet it would be fun…" She murmured in a soft voice, already with a hint of resignation in it and looked at the dark-haired man through big blue eyes. He held the eye-contact but didn't say anything and nothing about his expression changed either until Naruto suddenly stood right next to Sayuri and did that same puppy-look-thing she did.

"_Please say yes, Sasuke-chan_…" He pleaded in a girl's voice and puckered his lips, while doing some kind of dancing-thing and looking pretty ridiculous while doing so…

"Shut up dobe…" He glared at the blonde and watched how his kissing lips yielded to an insulted pout. Still sulking he crossed his arms in front of his chest, but then moved his elbow to the side, nudging Sayuri's ribs, which made her gasp in surprise, before she cast an uncomprehending look at her team-mate. The Uzumaki opened his eyes further, nearly frantically and then nodded towards Sasuke slightly and now Sayuri understood what he meant – even though she didn't think too highly of it – but still turned back to Sasuke, who had watched the two of them with a light frown on his face, but now focussed his attention on the medic-nin again…

"Can we _please_ go there?" She asked in a sugary voice and fluttered her eyelashes enticingly, or at least what she wanted to be so… she really wasn't good at these kinds of things and only hoped she didn't look like Naruto just did, so it was probably a good thing that she couldn't see herself right now.

Sasuke only looked at her without saying anything and Sayuri had given up on batting her lashes, since it was quite straining after some time and left it at flashing a bashful smile at him and now the Uchiha closed his eyes briefly before he exhaled noisily.

"Whatever…" He rolled his eyes and looked to the side, almost grumpily, while his team-mates grinned at each other triumphantly.

"Really?" Sayuri looked up at him with a beaming face, but then Naruto put a hand over her mouth with a shocked expression, which she could only return because of his action.

"What are you doing – don't give him a chance to go back on his word!" He stared at her with a lecturing look before he turned to the Uchiha again and grinned mischievously. "We all heard you so don't even think of talking yourself out of this again."

"Tze…" He hissed and still didn't look too happy about the outcome of this whole thing…

"Yo, Ero-sennin, how about you?" Naruto turned to his master, but that one didn't seem to notice that. He still stared at the young couple like they were some exotic animals…

"Who would've thought…" He murmured again and shook his head in disbelief before he tossed his long white hair over his shoulder and smiled at his opposites.

"I really missed out on a lot while I was gone – so since when… are you two…?" He raised his eyebrow questioningly and wiggled a finger from one of them to the other in a suggestive manner, again catapulting Naruto into oblivion, but he wouldn't put up with that…

"Hey can't we talk about something else? What about me and my training?" Naruto demanded his master's attention to himself, however that one only raised an arm to silence him.

"You know Sasuke – in case you should need advice or have any questions about… uhm… you know… well… I always have an open ear and enough life experience to help you avoid a looot of trouble with… you know…" He nodded his head towards Sayuri, trying to be inconspicuous, but wasn't really successful at it… "No offence, Sayuri-chan – this is all to your advantage - really… Ehem… well, anyway – I'm not stingy about sharing my knowledge – so just come to me…"

He grinned mischievously, while Sasuke didn't show any reaction to this pretty clear suggestion, whereas Sayuri's cheeks were bright pink again and she looked like she had bitten into a lemon.

"NO! You're supposed to train me! You've been gone for nearly a year – so we have a lot to catch up on – and you want to train HIM?" Naruto shouted and pointed at his team-mate, who then rolled his eyes in annoyance, wondering how the last years had managed to not leave a single mark on the blonde - like he had run away from any personal maturation.

"You simpleton! – I'm talking about _special_ training, here!" Jiraiya groused and smacked Naruto on the back of his head again, while his words raised disgusted grimaces on Sasuke's and Sayuri's faces.

"_Special training_?" The blonde flared up, simply the word 'special' in combination with 'training' and then _not_ his name, causing him to lose his temper.

"But I want _special_ training! Why is it always about Sasuke?" Naruto whined sulkily and somehow this whole scene reminded a little of a typical father-son conflict…

"Baka! Just how stupid are you? No wonder you don't have a girlfriend when you don't even know what I'm talking about – and you are supposed to be my student…" The Sannin shook his head in consternation.

"Maybe you really do need some special - non-ninja - training after all…" Jiraiya stared at his student and wondered what he had done wrong in all these years…

"Eh?" Naruto stared at the Sannin with a clueless expression, a bit startled about that 'non-ninja' part and once again, his reaction nearly brought Jiraiya to the verge of despair.

"Just how old are you now? 20?"

"Pah! – No! I'm 18 and a half!" Naruto corrected him, upset that his master didn't even know his age…

"See 18 – which means you're supposed to be a man – so how about you stop acting like you were still 12 and behave according to your age!" The white-haired man scolded the blonde.

"Maybe you should start by reading one of my books – it would be just the thing for you…" The Sannin advised him and at once had a tiny orange book at the ready: "There – even with signature."

"Wahh! I don't want your smut stuff!" Naruto screeched and tried to knock the book out of his hands, but Jiraiya saved his little masterpiece and stared with an angry expression at the blonde, who now seemed to have been hit by a sudden idea. "Wait a second! – Is this what this is all about – you damn old pervert!"

"Stop calling me like that! And my books aren't _smut_ – they are sophisticated literature." He explained but only faced sceptical expressions. "They are more like a guideline or a self-help-book for people like you who don't have a clue about anything."

"People like ME!" Naruto screeched and pointed at himself, before he prepared for his next verbal retort and by now the other two shinobi had entirely faded into obscurity and weren't really sorry about that…

Sayuri turned her head from one of them to the other as the words darted back and forth like a ping-pong ball and couldn't help but to be fascinated somehow and just couldn't seem to detach her eyes from them again.

"Let's go…" Sasuke murmured into her ear and placed a hand on her back, pushing her forward with soft determination and finally succeeded in drawing her attention away from them.

"Mmm-hmm." Sayuri murmured absentmindedly, even though she was sure that he hadn't waited for her approval. Naruto and Jiraiya were so absorbed in their fighting that they didn't even notice their disappearance, which was probably good, because otherwise Jiraiya would have probably tried to force his book on them as well and give them some further advice, which would have again led to her turning bright red so she was really glad to get away from them…

They didn't say a word, but still it wasn't quiet, because they could still hear Naruto and Jiraiya even after they had walked through quite a lot of streets and somehow their voices didn't really die down with the distance but seemed to become even louder and shriller, although the source of them remained unaltered.

"They become more and more similar…" Sayuri murmured quietly, but didn't avert her eyes from the path ahead of them.

"Hn." Sasuke agreed and had a hard time imagining how Naruto could become even more annoying, even though that was exactly what it would come down to, once he'd follow in that pervy sage's footsteps…

The slightly annoyed look on his face caused a light smirk to appear on Sayuri's face, before she tilted her head up to the sky as the moon broke through the cloud cover, the first time in days and bathed them in a pale light, casting silver shadows over their features.

"How pretty…" Sayuri breathed and smiled at the brightly glowing pearl, which was surrounded by a pale white and at the edges slightly brownish halo and shone through a wide, nearly circular break in the clouds, illuminating that crack while the rest of the sky remained in profound blackness.

She leaned her head against the side of Sasuke's chest and beamed at him. Their eyes met briefly, before she turned her gaze up to the sky again, allowing Sasuke to guide her through the dark streets and trusting him not to let her run against a lantern or any other obstacle there might be.

"Looks a bit like a muffin with icing, don't you think? – I mean from bird's eye view… Or a fried egg maybe… with reversed colours, though…" She murmured in a musing tone and gently ran a hand up and down Sasuke's back.

"You're not hungry by any chance?" The raven-haired man raised an eyebrow questioningly and glanced down at the girl in his arms.

"Huh? Just because I said the moon looked like an egg?" She grinned and now finally detached her shiny eyes from said heavenly body to look at her boyfriend.

"That and then the broccoli-forest we passed through." He said dryly and caused the violet-haired girl to stick out her tongue sheepishly.

"But it really did look like that… Just because you don't have an ounce of imagination…" Sayuri murmured in a feigned offended voice, even though she couldn't really keep the corners of her mouth down

"So we'll go and buy something?" He asked casually, not in the least impressed by her acting skills.

"Okay." She grinned cheekily, before she raised her hand to cover a long yawn and then leaned back against Sasuke's chest again, who watched her behaviour with a barely visible smirk on his face.

…

…

About half an hour later, they were sitting in the kitchen, both busy with eating the food they had just bought.

Sayuri had taken fried noodles with eggs and broccoli – after having talked about it and being surrounded by it, she had really felt like eating it and she had thought it would be funny, however now she wasn't that happy about her choice anymore. It didn't really taste that bad, not too good either – she just didn't have an appetite for it any longer – which hadn't kept her from eating half her portion though… Still she couldn't help but to stare at Sasuke's plate more often than not. But the strong, spicy smell of his curry was just impossible to ignore and made her mouth water – just not for her own food…

She sighed quietly and picked at her food listlessly, before a movement of Sasuke again wafted the smell of his curry into her nostrils. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, taking the scent all in, before she looked up again and peered through envious eyes at Sasuke's dish, watching it get fewer and fewer with every bite he took.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, after he had noticed that Sayuri hadn't eaten anything in quite some time and seemed somehow mesmerized, the way she was staring at his plate.

"Oh – n-nothing!" She twitched and grinned sheepishly, embarrassed that he had caught her staring. However Sasuke just shrugged and turned back to eating his delicious curry and was nearly halfway done already.

"Uhm… Can I have a taste?" She murmured hesitantly and flashed an uneasy smile at her opposite – at once wishing she hadn't said that.

Sasuke turned his face up again and looked at the violet-haired girl with a sceptical gaze, until he nodded his head and reached his spoon across the table, holding it in midair right in front of her face.

With a smile on her lips she leaned forwards and took a bite, only to realize that the curry tasted even better than it smelled…

"Thanks…" She smiled happily and received a nod in response, before Sasuke turned back to his plate again, which is why she did so too. Once she did the smile vanished from her face though and she felt even less inclined to eat that stuff than just a few seconds before - now it wasn't only the smell but also the taste and her craving for curry was only enhanced.

"Don't you like it?" Sasuke asked after a couple of seconds and frowned at the girl in front of him, who stared with a nearly disgusted expression at her food.

"N-no… it tastes good… really…" She giggled nervously and took another bite to emphasize that, but the sceptical expression on Sasuke's face told her that he again didn't fall for her acting skills…

Without saying anything he shoved his plate to her side of the table, before he took hers and started eating without any further comments or explanations, while Sayuri looked at him with a startled expression, before a smile lifted the corners of her lips and she cast an affectionate look at the man on the other side of the table, before she started eating as well.

…

…


	14. Dubious proposal

**14.**** Dubious proposal**

Steaming hot jets of water streamed out of the showerhead and filled the bathroom with a cloud of dense vapour, fogging up the mirror and escaping in narrow streams through the crack under the door. The consistent drumming of the running water drowned out all other sounds and created an atmosphere of seclusion, together with the thick steam, which managed to fill up the actually quite spacious room.

Still heavily breathing, Sayuri was trapped between the cold, white tiles and Sasuke's firm body, her feet hanging loosely in the air and her arms were slung tightly around her boyfriend's shoulders.

With pleasantly exhausted features and his breathing coming in equally shallow and uneven gasps, Sasuke rested his forehead between her neck and chest but kept holding her in his arms, until he received a light kiss on his hair and turned his face up to look into Sayuri's face. Her cheeks had taken on a pale pink colour and she had that dreamy look in her grey blue eyes, which made them look like they were glazed over with content and a bit of exhaustion.

He craned his neck and involved her in a deep kiss, before he slowly lowered his arms until her toes touched the submerged floor of the shower base again, but she still didn't let go of him.

He pulled his lips away again and leaned his forehead against Sayuri's, the tips of his dark wet hair tickling her skin. She scrunched her nose as a big drop of water landed on it, but then shot a beaming smile at the dark-haired man and squeezed her eyes shut as he leaned in to kiss her again.

These moments – or rather being together in general had come off really badly lately. They had pretty bad luck with the missions they were given. Sasuke was doing really a lot and then mostly long-lasting ones and once they were over and he was back home, she was sent on a mission instead.

This month it had been especially bad, this was about the fourth day they spent together and she had to go to the hospital later, so it wasn't even a full day.

Just all the more reason to enjoy one of these moments of being together… one of these far too rare moments… everything seemed perfect, as if nothing could ever go wrong…

It was just the two of them. His hands on her waist, his nose brushing hers, their breaths merging with each other and then all these unspoken words which lingered in the air between them. It were these moments in which she wanted to tell him how much she felt for him, in which she wanted him to tell her what he felt for her. He was showing her with actions, but never with words. Never straightforwardly. He always left it to her to guess what he meant, what he felt… and as if that wasn't enough she also had to struggle with making sense of her own feelings…

She did think she loved him, or maybe she just loved to think so. Actually she didn't know what it was like to love – how could you know when you've never loved before or been loved yourself? You can't do anything you never learned – it's like bicycling – once you can do it you'll probably never unlearn it, but still you had to know how to do it first of all…

She didn't remember anything of her past, anything of her family – it was like she was living a half-life and all the love-part had gotten lost somewhere in the depths of her mind. So she really wasn't sure, but from what she had heard, she had always imagined it would feel like this here… But maybe she was wrong. His actions were bound to make her feel good so maybe she confused love with physical desire. But it didn't feel like that. If it was only about lust then it would be a self-interested thing – desire was only about satisfying one's own needs, but she wanted him too feel good as well – maybe even more so – so that would probably speak against that. There was just so much more to it…

The feeling of cherishing someone else's life more than your own, but then learning to cherish yourself in the first place; learning not to hide yourself behind a mask… They were similar in that point only that Sasuke was hiding his emotions under a mask, whereas she had tried to conceal her entire personality. It was like she had always played a role, several roles actually – like she's had a different mask for every single person she hung out with. At least that's what it had felt like to her; as if she had always adapted her own behaviour to that of the person that was with her or had at least tried so… But lately that had changed a little. She had become a bit more consistent; as if she had finally found a mode she could live with and it was so much easier this way…

When you felt comfortable enough to be yourself, or maybe just to behave the way you think would be natural for you. At least she was sure that she was no longer in danger of getting lost in her acting – in pretending to be what other people expected her to be like. She was sure she owed that to Sasuke…

It was thanks to him that she had developed a healthy amount of self-confidence and self-respect. Actually pitiable to think that she had only gained her self-confidence through her boyfriend, but it's not because she was proud that he was with her and felt like she could show off with him. It was more because of the person he was…

He didn't really care about other people or stereotypes or fake behaviour – he seemed to be immune to all these typical social graces and just wouldn't let himself be influenced by anyone… And it was this disposition which made her think, or better had made her hope, that he would see through the masquerade she had put up in all these years in which she had been forced to invent her own person anew and maybe help her see through it as well… And by thinking that he saw through her and apparently still wanted to be with her, it had become much easier for her to lower her guard and just _live_ – without always thinking about the consequences of her actions and without thinking about ways of how to please everybody… Just some people…

They kissed a last time before Sasuke finally let go of her and now that they had both calmed down again, they turned back to the real purpose of the shower and started getting ready for the day.

Sasuke was faster than her, which wasn't really surprising, considering the difference in their hair length and once he opened the plexiglass door of the shower, cold air streamed in, while solid whirls of steam swirled out and made the room look like a sauna. Sayuri had to shudder briefly and turned the water to an even warmer setting before she carried on washing her hair.

Once she got out of the shower, Sasuke was already gone, so she just gripped for a towel and wrapped it around herself, before she stepped to the sink. The mirror was still entirely fogged, so she wiped it clean with her underarm and stared at her reflection. It was something she had never really enjoyed doing, but it's not like there was any way to avoid it. She couldn't leave the house without having made sure at least that she wouldn't run around with toothpaste on her chin or with hair like a scarecrow – but that was about it, just checking if she looked ready to be released into society.

But somehow it felt different to look into a mirror now… As if they had all been defect before, but had been fixed at length. She wasn't even so sure about where her aversion towards mirrors had come from and what had changed about it now…somehow it had always felt like something was missing, which wasn't even far fetched – after all she was lacking like 12 years of her past - she didn't even know for sure… or maybe it wasn't about the mirror itself – maybe she had just shifted her focus and had stopped looking for what there wasn't, but was actually seeing herself…

Since the whole showering part had taken a bit longer than expected, she hurried up with brushing her teeth and getting dressed and once she came into the kitchen, Sasuke had already made a big pot of coffee and was sitting at the table, already in the middle of his breakfast.

Attracted by the aromatic smell of freshly brewed coffee, Sayuri went right to the kitchen counter and filled a mug with the steaming black liquid, before she opened one of the kitchen cabinets and had to stand on tiptoe to reach the red, metallic cookie box, which had found it's way into Sasuke's kitchen now that she was living with him.

"You're in a hurry?" Sasuke interrupted his own meal and stared at her sparse breakfast with a raised eyebrow.

"Kind of… I have to go to the hospital and then I'll go with Neji to the mission conference." Sayuri explained and dunked her cookie into her coffee.

"Tze… your saying this like it was one thing… So you need an escort to cover the long way from the hospital to the Hokage tower?" He asked in a sarcastic tone and looked at her with a blank expression.

"Oh c'mon… don't start that again…" Sayuri sighed and rolled her eyes before she hid her face behind her big mug of coffee, hoping he'd have some mercy, considering how early it still was.

"You're always very discreet when you talk about that Hyuga – why don't you just say you're meeting him?"

"But I just did." She moaned and turned around to put the cookie-box back into the cabinet, taking quite some time for it. However when she turned around again, Sasuke was right in front of her, placing both his hands on the counter to her sides, cornering her there.

"No. You tend to leave things out whenever it's about the Hyuga…" He said with a blank face, but with a barely audible edge in his voice.

"Just the details, but only because I know how you always react…" Sayuri murmured and turned her eyes to the side, trying to avoid his piercing gaze.

"So there is more you don't tell me?"

"No. Just… well, the unimportant things…" She explained meekly, but the look on Sasuke's face told her that he wasn't in the least satisfied with her words. "Okay you want the details? I have to go to the hospital now and I'm already bound to be late and then I have a full hour between the end of my shift and the conference and you are not there, so I'll hang out with Neji in the mean time…"

"There you have the difference – you not just _go_ with him to the conference, but you are actually meeting him…" Sasuke narrowed his eyes into slits and moved closer to the violet-haired girl, pushing her farther against the counter.

"Yes I'm meeting him and I know you don't like it and just _crave_ to tell me so and then I'll tell you that we are just friends and you'll tell me to search for new friends then and then I don't know what to say, because it's just… _stupid_ and then you are angry and I am angry and we both won't talk to each other anymore, but tomorrow at the latest everything will be okay again, but since you go on a mission tomorrow morning, let's just make up already and save the fighting for the next time, okay?" Sayuri flashed a disarming smile at him and looked at him through puppy dog eyes. It had also worked with getting him to say yes to Naruto's idea so maybe it would work again, even though she doubted so, this was a completely different situation, but he wouldn't let it show if she had been able to convince him or not…

"Please…" She fluttered her eyelashes before she glanced to the side and moved a finger over his forearm, which was still keeping her cornered between him and the kitchen counter.

"Tze… whatever…" He murmured in a husky voice, raising a pleasantly surprised look on Sayuri's face. With a wide grin, she kissed him on his cheek, before she squeezed past him and rushed out of the kitchen, taking Naruto's advice to not give him the chance to rethink his decision…

…

…

Late in the evening, after a for the most part pleasant shift, Sayuri was again with Nao, the boy Sasuke had saved and who had made remarkable progress in the last couple of days. He wasn't even close to being fit enough to leave the hospital though, but still he seemed much better and wasn't sleeping this much anymore, either…

At the moment he was though, so Sayuri was very careful with changing the bandage around his arm. Right now she was alone here. She didn't have much to do so she had sent the nurse, who was taking care of him, away already.

Once she had removed the white gauze bandage, a layer of soft pink flesh came to light. About sixty percent of his skin was burnt, but she was confident that he wouldn't be left with scars - not with all the possibilities they had thanks to Tsunade. It had also worked with her… If it hadn't been for the present Hokage she would probably still run around with bandages all around her head. That had been a horrible time so she was really, really grateful that Tsunade had managed to fix her face and if she had been able to help her then why shouldn't it work with Nao, too?

She took out an ointment, made by the Hokage herself and applied it to the burnt skin, before letting her healing chakra run through her hands. A concentrated expression appeared on her face as she watched his arm glow with a strong green light, but then she cocked her head up as she heard a voice.

"How is it?"

As it seemed she hadn't been careful enough and had woken him up after all.

"Well… better…" She tried to smile at him in reassurement, but he had caught her off guard a little, so she didn't think she was too convincing. He hadn't seen the extent of his injuries and could just guess so from all the bandages, but then he had probably been too groggy still to take in too much, so he probably really had no idea…

"How are you feeling today?" She asked and now took her hands away from his arm again and put a new bandage on it.

"I feel… clear… I mean my head feels clear - not so woozy anymore…" He smiled crookedly, but still seemed kind of bemused, the way his eyes were still halfway closed and the way his voice sounded.

"I'm really glad to hear that." She beamed at him, but then saw how his face became more serious and he tried to prop himself up on his elbows, but didn't really succeed.

"You shouldn't strain yourself yet." Sayuri put an arm on his shoulder, motioning him to stay down, even though it's not like he had a choice but to do so, weak as he still was.

The violet-haired girl carried on with examining his wounds and spreading Tsunade's ointment on them and Nao didn't say anything anymore and Sayuri noticed the somewhat saddened look on his face.

"Is everything okay?" She asked in a worried voice, even though it was actually a stupid question, considering that he had only just lost his entire family.

"I don't know…" He whispered in a faraway voice and stared at the yellowish-white ceiling. "Why does no one come to visit me?"

"Y-you don't remember?" Sayuri stared at the young boy with widened eyes, feeling really uncomfortable right now. Being the bearer of bad news was really tough, she never really knew how to do it – especially something like this… How could she tell a thirteen year old boy that his entire family was dead?

"So it's real then…" He murmured in a dejected voice. "But is… is everyone…?"

"There is an old man, but we don't know his name. He's been conscious when they found him, but at the moment he is in a coma. He is having a hard time but he's a fighter…" She murmured quietly and glanced to the side and Nao seemed to understand what the subsequent silence meant.

"But what happened… I mean after I…" He choked out and kept his eyes firmly shut, obviously fighting to maintain his self-control.

Sayuri watched him with a commiserative expression and thought about how to take this whole thing on …

"I don't know too much… Just what the others told me…" She murmured and looked with an uneasy expression at her patient, who nodded his head lightly, before he forced himself to open his eyes and cast a pleading gaze at the medic-nin.

"Okay…" She whispered in a breathy voice and felt somehow dizzy at that moment, even her legs seemed a little shaky all of a sudden, so she sat down on one of the chairs standing right next to the bed, which were actually meant for visitors and took a deep breath, waiting for that weird feeling to fade.

"A group of our ninja came across your village as they were on their way back here." She started and ran a hand, which was a bit shaky as well, through her long hair, while keeping her eyes fixed on the young boy, observing his reaction, so she could stop in case she should unsettle him too much.

"They heard some noise and saw smoke rise into the air, so they went for the source of it and found your village then. They were already late, but there were still some fights going on, so they decided to interfere in them… Some people fled when they came, but others decided to fight them. I don't know if you remember that but it was in one of these fights that you were injured and got nearly buried alive in a burning house… But Sasuke defeated the attackers and got you out of the house again and then they brought you and the old man to Konoha…" She finished and looked with a sympathetic expression at the profile of the injured boy and now that she had gotten this over with that feeling of dizziness faded almost as quickly as it had occurred in the first place.

He had his eyes closed again and his face looked entirely blank and yet it seemed as if he was on the verge of tears and there was something indescribably sad about seeing how he struggled to keep his emotions at bay.

She didn't really know him, so she wasn't sure if she should console him now, even though she didn't think so. Not with the way he was trying so hard to stay strong… It would probably be best to leave him alone for now, so he could give in to his feelings, without being watched while doing so. So he could figure out for himself what this loss meant for him, because as it seemed he hadn't quite realized that yet…

"I'll give you some alone time now. If there is something you need, just talk to one of the nurses, they'll call me at any hour, okay?" Sayuri told him, while rising up from her chair and now Nao finally opened his pale grey eyes and looked with an anxious expression at the dark haired girl.

"Wait please… could you… stay maybe… and carry on talking to me?" He asked hesitantly, but with an urging tone in his voice and startled Sayuri a bit, but then she nodded and slowly sat down again.

"What do you want me to talk about?" She asked softly, wanting to make sure that she wouldn't start with the wrong thing and would make things even harder for him then…

"I don't know… tell me…" He said in a thick voice, as if every single word was hard for him to utter and he started breathing heavier, almost in fits, so he took some time before carrying on. "…tell me something about Sasuke… is he strong?"

Sayuri looked up and observed the boy with a pensive face, before she nodded her head.

"Yes… he is very strong – probably one of the strongest ninja in the entire village." She started and watched how Nao closed his eyes again and now nodded his head as well, motioning her to carry on.

"You two are very similar… the things that happened to you…" She murmured a little awkwardly, afraid that she was hitting a sore spot. But they really were uncannily similar. They had both lost their family at a very young age and both because of intern fightings… And then they also looked very much alike, or maybe she was just imagining this. After all Nao had very light blonde hair, which nearly reached down to his chin and was tousled messily and his eyes were of a light grey colour in contrast to Sasuke's dark grey, at first sight nearly black eyes. But there was just something about his face that looked so very much like Sasuke's when he was young. Even though he didn't look as grim and cold… maybe it were the marks of his past, which were just impossible to overlook. Just a certain look in his eyes, something that made him seem much older than he actually was – as if these events had caused him to grow up from one day to the next.

"He's had a very hard time, but… he managed to cope…"

Sayuri carried on talking about Sasuke, while Nao listened to it with closed eyes and after a couple of minutes the first tears started rolling down his cheeks, but she acted like she wouldn't see that and carried on talking until he finally fell asleep.

After she had instructed a nurse to keep watch on him and had told her where she would be this day, so they could contact her in case anything happened, she rushed out of the hospital, knowing that she was already late for her meeting with Neji. And not just a little – they had meant to meet in front of Ichiraku's, which was pretty much in midway between the hospital, the Hyuga district and the Hokage tower, more than thirty minutes ago. So she hurried through the streets, past all these leisurely strolling people, who seemed to have all the time in the world and used it to block her path on purpose, until she reached Naruto's favourite restaurant and looked around wildly, in search for the Hyuga.

"You're late." She heard a grim voice and turned around and now saw Neji sit on a bench a couple of metres behind her and didn't miss the kind of irritated look on his face.

"I… I'm sorry…" She apologized, still a little breathless from the running, even though it hadn't even been this much, but maybe Neji would have some pity with her this way and wouldn't be too angry.

"What is it? Didn't that Uchiha let you out?" Neji got up from the bench and walked towards her, while crossing his arms in front of his chest and staring at her with a raised eyebrow, waiting for her to explain her delay and of course having come up with a not really surprising assumption by himself already.

"Oh c'mon – don't you start that, too." Sayuri sighed and placed a hand on her chest still waiting for her breathing to calm down again.

"So it's true then? I can't believe you let him boss you around like that. You aren't his property – you do have the right to do whatever you want." Neji lectured her and same as always tried to make Sasuke look bad.

"How was he supposed to do so? You know that I've been working before. You think he came to the hospital and locked me in a broom closet, or something?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest as well and shot a reproachful look at the brown-haired man.

"I wouldn't put it past him…" Neji snorted and looked to the side sullenly, not wanting to admit that he had totally forgotten that she had been working before, even though that was the reason why they were meeting here of all places.

"Tze… you wouldn't believe how very alike you are… If it wasn't for your names you'd probably be best friends." Sayuri sighed and squeezed her eyes shut tightly, trying to block out the irritated look on Neji's face.

"I'm not even a bit like him – I am not a cold-blooded murderer and arrogant traitor." Neji groused in a low voice, obviously offended.

"Right – that is all there is to his character – every single one of his actions tells you that he is an arrogant traitor – you should just see the cold-bloodedness with which he opens a bottle of water. Like really creepy…" Sayuri rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her hair in distress. "Not to speak of the murderous intent with which he silences his alarm clock." – Okay, that was not even thaat much of an exaggeration, but he didn't have to know that…

"Tze it's not me who is like him, but you seem to become more like him the more time you spend together – you've not always been this touchy and sulky…" The Hyuga countered, but as he saw the offended expression on Sayuri's face he felt sorry for it.

"You're right…" She murmured in a low voice and stared to the ground at Neji's feet. "I'm sorry… but I'm just tired of always having to mediate between you… You are both very important to me and I don't even expect you to like each other, but you could at least try to get along… Just so that I wouldn't have to be afraid every time that you'll start fighting any second…" She looked up again and stared into Neji's pensive face waiting for him to respond in any kind, but he took quite some time for it.

"It's not only me… It's hard to stay calm when he talks pejoratively about my family…" Neji defended his behaviour, but only caused the girl in front of him to roll her eyes again.

"Don't you think that goes for him as well? You two are the same when it comes to that, so maybe if you'd stop insulting him, he'd do so, too…" Sayuri proposed, even though it wasn't so much about the things they said, since they hardly ever talked directly to each other, but mainly about that staring-thing they always did and considering that they were both bearer of a powerful Doujutsu made the whole thing seem far more dangerous than it would do with other people.

"I'll try my best…" Neji murmured and switched his eyes to the side sulkily as he saw the contented smile on Sayuri's face.

"Thank you…" She closed her eyes and nodded at him before she groped for his arm and started pulling him down the street.

"So what do we do now?" She asked sounding like she was in high-spirits suddenly and her fickle behaviour caused a startled expression to appear on Neji's face, before he recollected himself and said. "We don't really have any more time to do anything, so we should go to the Hokage right away."

"Okay…" She beamed at him, so they carried on walking through the main street towards the huge red building where they would get all the information about the mission they were supposed to carry out in two days.

…

…

Early the next day, almost night still, Sasuke was on his way to the main gate of Konoha-Gakure. It was still dark outside, but in the east there was this narrow, bright red streak, looking like a deep cut in the sky, which slowly started to bleed out and soak through the rest of the still mainly grey firmament.

A chilly breeze wafted strands of his dark hair into his face, but he didn't bother to brush them away and carried on walking unwaveringly, his feet leaving faint traces on the frost covered ground. Even though it was nearly spring, the nights were still freezing cold, well and the days weren't that much better either, but after having just gotten out of bed the temperature seemed far worse than it already was anyway.

Up to now it hadn't exactly been a pleasant day. First of all it was still far too early, only about five o'clock, which really wasn't his time of day – even though no one who'd look at him would probably notice so… then he had woken up without a blanket, while the obvious thief hadn't even bothered to get up and maybe make breakfast for him, but had even teased him, since he had to go out into the cold, whereas she could remain in bed for a few hours longer… And then there was also this mission… It was a simple surveillance mission, which meant a whole week of nothing but watching some other ninja and making sure they weren't up to something.

With his hands in his pockets and his dark eyes fixed on the ground, the raven-haired man strolled towards the gate, knowing that he was still a bit early, however once he reached it, he already found two people standing there, those two Chunin who were usually sitting in the booth right next to the gate. That's all he knew about them, he had sometimes seen them in passing and yet, once they caught sight of him, they started greeting him enthusiastically, almost the way Naruto always did, only that Naruto had been a member of his team ever since, so it was a bit different…

Still a good distance away from them, he came to a halt and nodded at them briefly – as much greeting as he would condescend to and apparently his reputation had gotten around because they didn't even try to involve him in any conversations but carried on talking to each other again, even though loud enough that he couldn't possibly miss something.

A couple of minutes later the next person of their team came up, a girl with brown-hair and two weird buns at either side of her head. He was sure that he knew her somehow, maybe from the academy still, but she hadn't left any lasting impressions so she was probably weak.

So now everyone was there, right on time and only their team-leader was missing. Kind of reminding of Kakashi, but in case they hadn't changed anything about their constellation it shouldn't be the notorious latecomer.

"You're really all here already…" They heard a sceptical female voice and all turned to the source of it, which was the wall right next to the gate.

A quarter of an hour too late their team-leader finally made her entrance and instead of doing it quietly and bashfully, considering her delay, she still put up a show. With a lofty leap she jumped off the high wall and landed right in the middle of her assigned team.

"You're like really tough guys, eh?" The dark-haired woman grinned cheekily and cast a scrutinizing glance from one of them to the next.

"I'm pretty confident we'll do fine as a team, don't you think, Izumo-kun?" She walked to the brown-haired Chunin and patted him on his cheek with a sly sneer on her face, causing the young man to tense up slightly and nod his head repeatedly.

Now he remembered her name: Anko – the one who had led the second chunin-exam, the one in the forest of death and she didn't really seem to have changed in her behaviour. She was very loud and somewhat tomboyish and definitely up to catching attention, but not with positive actions or anything but simply with her presence.

"I take it you all know why we're here, but for those who slept during the mission conference, or didn't even bother to show up there-" Here her eyes switched to Sasuke. "-I'll explain it again." She winked at the people in front of her and put her hands into the pockets of her light-brown coat.

"A week ago a group of Kiri-nins has put up two camps near our borders. We neither know what they want here – so far away from their village, nor do we know anything about their disposition, which is why there is a group of our ninja with them who keep a watch on them ever since they came here. But if they'd stay any longer they'd probably smell them from a distance and being spotted is not an option. So now we are here to relieve that group and to ensure that our relationship to Kiri-Gakure won't suffer we must avoid being seen at all costs." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and nodded to herself before she turned her head up and looked at the four people surrounding her.

"So then: Kamizuki Izumo, Hagane Kotetsu, Uchiha Sasuke, and… well… Tenten-" She had no idea what her last name was, so she shrugged sheepishly an then carried on as if nothing had happened.

"Are you ready?" She turned from one of them to the next receiving some assenting nods in return, which raised a crooked smile on her face.

"I bet we'll get along just fine… Okay then, this means we are two women and three men and this'll be a week of only very little action and therefore all the more boredom so keep your urges under control, got it guys?"

"Hey! W-what's that supposed to mean?" Tenten looked up with an uneasy expression and drew the Jounins attention to herself.

"How come you feel addressed when I say _guys_?" She raised an eyebrow and caused the brown-haired girl to giggle nervously and shrug.

"So guys? The real ones now."

"H-huh?" Izumo stuttered with a light blush on his cheeks, while his partner only nudged him in his ribs and grinned at least as widely as Anko did.

"We'll do what we can…" Kotetsu smirked and patted the Kamizuki on his back, who nearly choked on his own breath then, but tried hard not to start coughing, even though his face had taken on an unhealthy red colour.

"I bet you will… Phew… a sly one, a shy one, a mute one and then one with gender identity disorder… maybe it won't get thaaaat boring after all…" Anko chuckled and turned around quickly, as she noticed the first signs of protest within her team.

"And off we go!" She exclaimed enthusiastically and walked with hasty steps out of Konoha's main gate, a short time later followed by her slightly disgruntled team.

…

…

He hadn't had high expectations about this mission, but reality had exceeded that by far…

It was the fifth day now that they were here in the woods, not even a day's march away from the Hidden Leaf Village and just as predicted they were facing a lot of boredom.

They had split up into two groups: a two men – or rather women group for the day, while the male beings of their team had to take care of the night-shift.

Same as the last days, Sasuke was sitting in a tree from where he had a good view of the two tents the Kiri-nin had put up and also the small brook, where they were always getting their water. The other camp, which was situated about two kilometres away from this one, was being surveilled by another group of Konoha-nin – as if that had been necessary.

It was already morning, just two more hours until the day-shift would take over and just like during the rest of the night, there was not even a trace of movement in the small camp they were assigned to keep watch on.

He doubted that they were up to something, but then he didn't really know what else they could be doing here, especially since they hardly seemed to do anything… It really did seem by now that they were only taking a vacation here, but still it seemed weird that someone, well actually a not exactly small group of people, from as far away as the Land of Water would come here for a simple camping trip.

This really was no mission for him… just sitting around all day, watching some people and hoping for anything to happen just so that he would have a reason to get up, but nothing. At least during most of the night they didn't do anything but sleeping apparently.

He had once taken the risk to sneak up on one of their tents to eavesdrop on them, but all he's heard were various variants of snoring, but he wouldn't have had to approach the tents to hear that.

He was really glad that he had gotten most of this over with already. Two more days and he could finally go back home.

Home… it has been a long time since he had last referred to a place as such and had really meant that… Not since his family had died, even though he had carried on living in the same house after that, but it had just been a house then and not his home any longer. He hadn't spent much time there, anyway, if at all then in his room; he had rarely ever entered one of the other rooms, not even the kitchen, even though he had tried hard to tell himself that it was just a house, just inanimate objects, and that there was actually no need to shun it. Still it had never felt like home to him then and he was sure by now that '_home'_ wasn't about being surrounded by four walls and material possessions, but was apparently about people… He didn't so much look forward to going to that house but rather to the person who now lived with him in it…

Just two more days… but then there was still this '_evening_ _among friends'_ Naruto was planning and which loomed like a threatening cloud over the immediate future. He didn't know when; he didn't know where, but it would definitely happen…

He really didn't know why he had agreed to that. He was spending more than enough time with the Uzumaki on missions and they were even training together at times, but then he was at least bearable, since he could silence him whenever necessary. Anywhere beyond the training field that wouldn't be possible, or at least not appropriate.

It was Sayuri's fault… if she hadn't looked at him with her big blue eyes and then that smile… it was hard to say 'no' when she gave him that look… He couldn't believe how easily led he had become, but it's not like he had even tried to turn her down.

He still didn't like these things and he was pretty sure that would never change. He wasn't a philanthropist; he didn't place much value on company – especially not on the company of people who he didn't even want to have anything to do with anyway. The old rookies and whoever else wanted… great… That were really a lot of people, so it should be really hard to find a day when everyone had time and maybe he'd be so lucky to be somewhere else then, but if not it wouldn't matter anyway, he'd somehow get this over with…

First off all he'd have some free days anyway and that was in dire need… after all he hadn't even spent a week at home this month, so he really deserved some holidays and with Sayuri it hadn't been too different either, maybe even worse – when she wasn't on missions she was working in the hospital, but she was trying to get her holidays now too, so they'd have some time together, a bit more than just a couple of hours a day.

But first he'd have to sit through 48 further hours of boredom – even though he could spend nearly half of them with sleeping, so it'd be okay… And his place here on the tree wasn't so very bad either. He had found a big branch which was surrounded by a dense green leaf canopy, so he was impossible to be seen and yet had a good view of everything, but since nothing happened anyway, he could use the time to meditate.

Then he heard a sound; not coming from the camp though, but from behind him. It was very quiet, just a faint rustling, so it might have been an animal and yet he was on full alert at once, probably because he really did hope that something happened at long last.

He got up and rested a hand on the thick, coarse trunk next to him, while he peered through the solid wall of leaves into the direction the sound had come from, waiting for it to recur, but nothing happened.

Still it felt like something about the atmosphere had changed, it was much quieter now and there was just something in the air. Up to now his instincts had never failed him, so after casting a last glance at the still sleepy camp, he leaped out of his hideout and moved to where he assumed the sound to have come from. However he couldn't find anything – neither animal nor person, so he closed his eyes and concentrated on his surroundings. It hadn't been anyone of his team; that much was certain and he was sure that it hadn't been his imagination either…

Then he heard it again. Farther away now, so he rushed toward the source of the sound, as quickly and simultaneously noiselessly as he could. He hurried past numerous trees and bushes, most of which were speckled with tiny buds, but none of them had blossomed yet. There was still a faint trace of morning mist in the air, managing to make the region look drab and dreary in spite of the sun.

Again he reached the approximate spot where the rustling must have come from, without finding anyone or anything and yet he was sure that someone must have been there. He didn't encounter any traces and couldn't sense someone else's presence and yet there was something in the air that stroke him as odd, maybe the complete lack of animal sounds. In all the time he had been here, he had gotten used to the twittering of the birds or the scurrying of some foxes, so after some time he hadn't really heard them any more, which is why the total absence of these sounds, caught his attention in particular…

With deliberate steps, watchful eyes and attentive ears the raven-haired man carried on walking, distancing himself more and more from his assigned post, but not really wasting any thoughts on that.

His limbs literally ached for some movement, while his brain craved for something to fight the boredom, so he had no problem with doing something against his orders, it's not like he really cared about something like that anyway – he wasn't exactly the most dutiful person, but he was an ex-nuke-nin so no one ever said anything about that. They really let him get away with a lot – far more than others would do… But he didn't know if that was because of his past or because they knew that all their lectures fell on deaf ears anyway, so they just gave up from the start…

After a couple of minutes he came across a small creek and crossed it by stepping over a huge tree which had fallen across it. Then came a slight ascent in the terrain which led into a more vegetated part of the wood.

He had walked for about half an hour when he came to a stop in front of a huge sea and still nothing. He hadn't found a single trace which would imply that anyone had been here in the last couple of days. He hadn't heard another suspicious sound and it just didn't feel like there was anyone close by any longer. Still he couldn't believe that his instincts had failed him. He wasn't one to hunt after phantoms, so he couldn't really make sense of the whole situation.

He kept standing in front of the sea and roamed his coal black eyes across his surroundings, without moving his head while doing so.

There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, just a greyish blue sphere, stretching as far as the eye could see. The water sparkled in the light of the soft morning sun and a chilly breeze rippled the water surface, but so subtly that it was barely visible. The dense fog didn't seem to reach out to this open area, but kept lingering on the ground around the trunks of the numerous shadowy pine trees behind him, whose dark green colour posed a great contrast to the bright green one of the meadow under his feet.

All he could hear was the whistling of the wind, the rustling of some leaves and the gentle lapping of the waves, but nothing that implied that there was another person with him. He must have erred after all, even though he still didn't believe that… He didn't do mistakes. There has definitely been something. He must have overlooked it. He didn't want to believe that he had come all the way here simply because his overly bored mind had made that up. Maybe being together with Sayuri had rubbed off on him. He knew that he had changed a lot since he was with her, but he hadn't really thought it would actually affect his skills… Or maybe not…

"Show yourself." He ordered in a calm but decisive voice and glanced over his shoulder at the dark wall of trees behind him. He was sure now. He clearly sensed that someone else was there. No failure on his part after all – he knew he didn't make mistakes…

"Uchiha Sasuke. So we do meet again…"

He perceived an unfamiliar voice and a couple of seconds later he saw a dark figure step forth from behind a tree. Once he had left the shadowy forest behind, the bright rays of the sun illuminated his black cloak with the red clouds on it. He peered at his opposite through a single hole in the right side of his swirled orange mask and was just about to raise his voice, when a kunai shot through his chest.

With an amused sound, he took a step closer to Sasuke and stretched his arms away from his entirely unharmed body in what was probably supposed to be a soothing gesture, even though it actually had the opposite effect on the young Uchiha.

"The last time we've met it was as enemies, but now I only wish to talk to you." The nuke-nin stared bluntly into Sasuke's face, but then looked down as he heard a metallic click and saw that his opposite had put a hand around the grip of his katana and had used his thumb to push it out of its sheath a little, chiefly as a symbolic gesture.

"Not convinced, yet… That's unfortunate, because I have a feeling you will really want to listen to what I have to say…" The Akatsuki murmured with a self-assured tone in his voice and as Sasuke looked up, he could see a manic glimmer in his opposite's blood red eye…

…

…


	15. Bad day

**15.**** Bad day**

"… but thanks to Kakashi they managed to get out of there. And he could have used his chance to run off and escape his punishment, but instead he staid and fought against Deidara, that psycho-akatsuki, you know, the one from before… It didn't look too good at the beginning, they seemed to be equal in strength but then Sasuke used his Sharingan and managed to beat him with Amaterasu – that's a jutsu, which can only be performed when you possess the Mangekyou Sharingan and it is said to be one of the most powerful ninjutsu there is – actually I didn't know he had it, but well, he does and after that he was allowed to stay in the village again…" Sayuri finished her story and same as always Nao had listened to it with closed eyes, as if he tried to visualize everything in front of his mind's eye.

He always wanted her to tell him stories, especially about Sasuke. He was bored a lot, which wasn't really surprising though. Now that he was getting better, he didn't sleep too much anymore, which meant that he spent most of his time with lying in bed and hoping for someone to come along and distract him. However in most cases that were his nurses and doctors and they rarely had the time to sit down with him and entertain him.

So she came here whenever possible and at times Naruto and Shikamaru, who had been in the team, which had found his village, as well – however Naruto mainly with the intention of persuading the boy that he was a much better ninja than Sasuke was and that he was actually the one who should be admired. However Nao wouldn't change his mind, even though he was impressed by the Uzumaki as well, but in the end he always asked after Sasuke again and nearly drove Naruto crazy with that.

"I wish I was this strong…" The blonde boy sighed and opened his eyes again to stare at the blank white ceiling.

Sayuri watched him with a commiserative look on her face, able to read between the lines… He thought that in case he had been stronger he could have saved his family. He was blaming himself for what happened – he was still in the middle of the process of coping with his grief. There was no way of telling whether he was doing good or bad, it's an individual process that each person experiences differently, concerning time, intensity and the sequence of the different stages, but as it seems he was at the moment caught up in guilt.

"He hasn't always been this strong – he trained really hard for it." She murmured and now drew Nao's pale grey eyes towards her and there was some kind of sceptical look in them.

"If you train hard enough, you could become this strong too, you definitely have the potential…" Sayuri encouraged him and watched how he closed his eyes again. This weren't just some empty words, but she really meant that. His ancestors had come from Yuki-Gakure so he was able to use ice-natured techniques, which meant a mixture of wind and water element and apart from that his family was also skilled with fire jutsu, so he had the potential to use a wide range of elemental techniques. Problem was only that he wasn't able to perform hyôton techniques yet and has never learned to do so and he didn't really know how he should learn them with no one left who could teach him.

"But how should I train when I can't even leave this bed here…?" He asked in a frustrated tone and made an attempt at erecting himself, but it seemed like he only pressed his head deeper into the pillow.

"You need to be patient. It's a miracle you're awake already, so you shouldn't push yourself… You'll be out of here soon enough, you'll see." The violet-haired girl smiled at him, but Nao didn't seem too convinced and squeezed his eyes shut again, trying hard to force back a disappointed expression, but it's not like Sayuri missed that…

The smile vanished from her face again and a pensive expression took its place as she thought about a way of how to cheer him up again, but it really wasn't easy…

"You know… I could ask Sasuke to come and visit you…" She murmured in a hesitant voice and watched with mixed feelings how the blonde opened his eyes again and turned his head into her direction – the surprised and already eager look on his face was pretty much impossible not to see.

"I can't promise anything, he is always very busy and at the moment he's on a mission anyway, but I'll definitely ask him…" She didn't want to raise his hopes before she had talked to Sasuke about it, but actually there was nothing that militated against it. She had sometimes implied something like that and he hadn't really seemed averse to it – even though he hadn't agreed either. Talking about his feelings and then also his past had never been his strong point and that was what it would come down to, so she wasn't so sure if he would do it.

"You think… he would maybe train with me? I mean later…" Nao asked and looked with a hopeful expression at the medic-nin, who sat in the chair right next to his bed.

"Maybe…" She shrugged and rose to her feet. Sasuke would probably prefer training over talking, but still she didn't want to feed him with false hopes. She hadn't told him that Sasuke had probably finished his mission already and would probably be back by tomorrow evening, so even in case he should say no, she'd still have some time to try and persuade him to do it after all.

"It's getting late, so I gotta go now, but I'll ask him once he is back, okay?" She looked at her patient and received a nod in return and Nao's face looked much brighter now.

So after saying goodbye, Sayuri went down into the entrance hall, which was pretty full at the moment, now that the visiting hours came to an end. She was just about to walk out, when she heard her name and came to a halt. As she turned around, she saw the Godaime stare at her with a critical expression.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a sceptical voice and walked closer to the violet-haired girl, who couldn't help but to frown about this question.

"Well – working…?" She shot a startled look at the blonde woman, not really understanding what she was driving at.

"I feared so… You just came back from a mission and you are again working here – don't you think you're overdoing it a bit? I mean look at you – you look like you lived on nothing but coffee – when's the last time you really slept?" Tsunade asked with that critical and yet worried expression; one you usually saw on the faces of mothers.

"Why… thank you… I actually sleep pretty well at the moment – just having a bit of a headache but it's nothing really…" Sayuri sighed, but then remembered that she had meant to talk to the Hokage anyway. "I wanted to take my holidays together with Sasuke,, if that's okay, so I thought I'd carry on working until he's back…"

"Tze… he could really take a leaf out of your book…" The fifth murmured dourly and glanced to the side, causing yet another startled expression to appear on Sayuri's face.

"What do you mean? He's hardly been here lately – he's done far more missions than me and far longer ones, too."

"Maybe - but he just broke up the last one and that's not acceptable." Tsunade nodded to herself and fixed her honey-brown eyes on the girl in front of her.

"What do you mean he broke it up?" Sayuri looked at her with an uncomprehending expression and couldn't help but to feel a little uneasy about this piece of information.

"He just came back yesterday morning without explaining anything about his behaviour and quite frankly I didn't really have the nerve to worm everything out of him… So I'd be really grateful if you could talk to him."

"S-sure…" She nodded absentmindedly, still trying to digest what she had just heard.

"Good – so don't show up here again before next week – otherwise I'll throw you out with my own two hands and even my feet if necessary." Tsunade grinned at her, but her student seemed too lost in thoughts to return the grin.

"Hey – I bet it's nothing – he probably thought himself too good for that kind of mission…" The Godaime tried to soothe her student, but she still didn't look too convinced.

"You're right… So, I'll go then…" She murmured quietly and forced herself to smile at her opposite.

"Good – take some rest – till next week and no day earlier!" Tsunade said emphatically and received another nod from the violet-haired girl, before she murmured a goodbye and walked out of the hospital…

…

…

A quarter of an hour later, Sayuri had almost reached the Uchiha-district. After she had rushed here most of the way, now that she was only a couple of metres away from her destination she slowed down a bit and couldn't fight back a slightly uneasy feeling.

Maybe it was like Tsunade had said and he really had broken up the mission, because he thought it was a waste of his skills, but she didn't really think so… He wasn't this careless; if he started something he usually finished it. All of this just didn't sound like him and she couldn't help but to be a little worried, even though Sasuke was probably the last person she should worry about… But still, why hadn't he told her that he was back? Since almost two days now, after all – that was definitely weird…

A few minutes later, she stood in front of the wooden entrance door of his house and shoved it open. The corridor in front of her lay in complete darkness, except for the orange-red light of the setting sun, which crawled through the still open door, but didn't quite make it this far…

Still with an uneasy feeling, she closed the door, shutting most of the light out again and slipped out of her shoes, before she slowly walked through the dark corridor with her fingertips brushing along the wall to her left, as if she needed the support to not lose her way.

The first room she came across didn't have a door, but three paper slides, which covered the upper half of the open doorframe. She pushed them aside and bowed down a little so she could peer into the room, but just as expected it was empty.

So she went back again and walked on to the next room, again with her hand at the wall. She didn't know why she didn't turn the lights on – she didn't need it, but still it's what she usually did when she came here… and she didn't really know why she didn't just call out to him and see if he was there, but was actually mindful not to make a sound…

She was already so certain that something wasn't right that normality was completely out of the question now. When she looked into a room she'd rather expect to find a dragon lurking there instead of ordinary, boring emptiness. That's the kind of mood she was in – she received a few facts and her imagination ran wild with her and she at once started making up stories about the most unrealistic things that could possibly happen, but in that moment seemed very likely to happen. In the end, she'd find him lie in bed with a mug of tea in his hands and a really bad cold, he had caught in the freezing cold nights in which he had been forced to stay there in the woods – well that was probably even less realistic than the dragon and would most likely disappoint her current tendency towards drama, so she dismissed that quite quickly again…

Next room was the kitchen and here the door was closed. She trailed her hand along the wall, over the rough wood of the door feeling the fine grains of it and finally rested it on the metallic doorknob, registering its coldness under her hardly warmer skin.

After listening into the silence for a couple of seconds she finally closed her fingers around it and twisted it, before she gave it a little push and stared intently at the narrow door crack, which became wider as the door swung open with an eerie creaking and revealed more and more of the room on the other side of it.

The lights weren't turned on here as well, so there was just the remainder of sunlight, which rather dyed the room in a dark orange than illuminating it and it somehow made the shadows look even darker and clearer defined.

And there he was – a shadow among shadows. The sun shone from the opposite side, so she could only see his black silhouette and something about the picture bothered her, it seemed strange how he just sat here in the darkness, or not really darkness; the rest of the room seemed much brighter than he was, so it looked like he was the source of the shadows and the orange sunlight made him look like he was glowing.

"…Sasuke…?" She murmured hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure if it was really him or not and took a first step into the room. It didn't seem right how he just sat there at the table and hadn't even turned around or done anything to acknowledge her entrance. It didn't seem right that he was here at all when he was actually supposed to be on a mission.

The uneasy feeling from before was getting much worse now, so she embedded her teeth in the side of her cheek and forced herself to walk up to him, even though it felt like she walked through an unyielding mire and the few steps seemed really exhaustive.

She knelt down on the floor right next to him and now he finally turned his face into her direction and observed her with his coal black eyes, but there was just something about the look in them that made her wonder if he was really seeing her or just stared through her. She opted for the latter.

She parted her lips slightly; her mouth long ready to say something, while her brain wasn't even nearly this far, yet, so she closed her mouth again and glanced to the side, not bearing to hold that unfocussed look of his…

Now she noticed the bottle and the glass on the table and a confused frown appeared on her face.

"You're drinking…?" She turned back to him and now his eyes seemed a bit clearer again, at least she was sure that he really was looking at her, even though there was something about the way he looked, just a certain shimmer in his eyes that confirmed her suspicion that something wasn't right, he seemed somewhat… downcast… It would have been nothing special with any other person – everyone was having a bad day every once in a while, but actually he didn't let that show, so simply the fact that she could so clearly see that worried her a little.

"Hn." He finally nodded and even though the bottle of Sake on the table actually spoke for itself, it still took Sayuri by surprise to hear it out of his mouth. What was he doing here, all alone in a dark room with a half empty bottle of Sake when he was actually supposed to be miles away? He wasn't a drinker. Even when they had been out somewhere on a birthday or in a bar or whatever – just a place where everyone was getting drunk – he had hardly ever ever drunken something – even when people had literally tried to force him into drinking. Yet he was sitting here all alone with a bottle of alcohol. Maybe that's what there was in his eyes – he was intoxicated. But still that seemed even worse – it was too uncommon for him…

She shook her head and gazed at him with an uncomprehending expression, before she placed her hand on his hesitantly and again opened her mouth to say something – to ask him what was going on here – but before she could do so, Sasuke's hands were on the back of her head and his lips were on hers. She didn't know what to do now, if she should push him away or kiss him back, but before she could make up her mind the still one-sided kiss became fiercer and more demanding and a second later she lay on the hard floor, with the dark-haired man right above her.

"Sa-suke…" She panted, trying to pull her lips away from his, but he seemed eager to prevent that, so she gave up trying and wrapped her arms around his neck – the anxiety creating a kind of need she couldn't quite identify, but was desperate to quench.

After she didn't know how long he pulled his lips away again, but remained with his face close to hers, the tips of his hair tickling her skin. He bored his deep black eyes into her grey-blue ones, but his entire face was shadowed and it was really hard to keep up the eye-contact when she wasn't even sure what exactly he was looking at.

The warmth of his breath grazed her face and she perceived a faint waft of alcohol. Just a bit, if she hadn't searched for that smell she probably wouldn't have made it out…

Almost mechanically her hand rose up and she ran her fingertips over his cheek, before he leaned down and placed his lips on her forehead, trailing them over the ridge of her nose until he reached her lips again.

"Why didn't you tell me you were back already?" She asked once he had removed his lips again and she heard him emit an annoyed sound before he placed his palms on the floor at either side of her head and pushed himself up again, before resting one of his arms on the table.

"If you were living here you would have noticed…" He said in a cold voice, while he shot a somewhat disapproving glance at her and somehow it was hard to believe that he had kissed her so longingly just a couple of seconds ago.

He was holding it against her that she didn't really live here. Up to know he hadn't really witnessed that – she always knew when he came back so she was usually there by then, or came here directly after having done a mission herself. Still he knew she was doing this – it's not like she had ever pretended it to be otherwise…

Now Sayuri propped herself up on her elbows and sat up as well, searching for something in his face that would help her make sense of his behaviour, but same as always he wouldn't make it easy for her.

"What are you doing here?" She murmured in a quiet voice and looked at him with an uncomprehending and obviously anxious expression, but instead of responding he turned his face towards the table again and groped for the brownish bottle. Under Sayuri's confused eyes he filled the glass with the clear liquid, but instead of drinking it himself he pushed it into her direction.

"Drink." He said in a clear, decisive voice and raised the glass in front of her face.

"N-no." Sayuri shook her head and closed a hand around the glass, meaning to put it down, but instead Sasuke pushed it towards her lips and tilted it a little so the sharp liquid ran into her mouth, or rather down her chin. She couldn't help but to start coughing and now Sasuke let go of the glass and gripped for the bottle again, drinking right out of it.

Here again this just didn't seem right. None of what has happened in the last minutes did.

"Sasuke…"

He had put the bottle back onto the table again, but was still holding it, so Sayuri closed her hand around his wrist, to make sure he wouldn't start drinking again or wouldn't force her to do so again. He turned his head down and looked at her hand for a moment, before he slowly moved his eyes towards her face and looked at her with a faraway look in his dark eyes.

"Just what are you doing here?" She repeated her question with an anxious tone in her voice – not only what he was doing _here_, when he was supposed to be on a mission, but also what he was doing – why he was drinking…

He stared at her for a long moment, but again she had the feeling that he just saw through her. He turned his face back towards the table again and let go of the bottle, before he turned his hand around and closed his fingers around Sayuri's wrist. He turned it from side to side and rocked it a bit, as if he was trying to guess its weight, while he kept his eyes almost intently fixed on it.

"How was your mission…?" He asked in a hollow voice, trying to change the topic, but something about his tone made her wonder if he really wanted to know.

"Not so good…" She murmured in a low voice and cast her eyes down. "We failed…"

"Did you…?" Sasuke turned his eyes back to hers and now there was something sardonic about the way he looked. "You fail quite a lot of missions… That Hyuga must be a really bad team-leader…"

So that's what it was about… Another chance to make Neji look bad and his mood seemed to lift at once – at least the barely visible sneer on his lips spoke for that.

"That's not true… It wasn't Neji's fault – we were given false information, so we couldn't have completed it…" Sayuri explained and watched with rising anxiety how Sasuke's features hardened again and how he narrowed his eyes disapprovingly.

"You're defending him again…"

"You want me to lie and tell you it was all his fault and that he's useless?"

"Would be a pleasant change to your rhapsodies…" He muttered in a firm voice and tried to stare her into the ground, but she somehow managed to withstand him…

"_Rhapsodies_? – I hardly ever talk about him in your presence. I only ever mention his name when I do a mission with him or training or something…" She tried to defend herself, but her attempts seemed to make things even worse.

"Tze – there you have it… judging from how often you mention his name you spend far more time with him than with me."

"Oh please don't start this again…" She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, while Sasuke still held the other one.

"There wouldn't be any need to if my girlfriend would stop spending so much time with other men." The Uchiha hissed in a low voice and took the still half-full glass he had offered her into his free hand, before taking another sip out of it.

"So what do you want me to do?" Sayuri pulled her hand away from his and crossed her arms in front of her chest, again earning a stern look by the raven-haired man.

"Stay away from him." He said in a decisive voice and somehow Sayuri had been sure he would say that.

"I sure won't, he is my friend, but-"

"-maybe you're with the wrong person then." Sasuke interrupted her, in a callous voice and turned away from her again, so he didn't see how her face crumbled after his harsh words.

"Don't you think you're a little unfair…?" She said in a thick voice and noticed that her heart was beating quicker now and her fingertips started tingling unpleasantly.

"You're like… applying double standards…" She murmured hesitantly and seemed absorbed in looking at the label of the bottle next to Sasuke's hand, while he slowly turned his head back around to his girlfriend and scrutinized her with a blank face.

"I never get this mad because of Karin, even though I'd have far more reasons for that…" Sayuri said with a growing lump in her throat and now forced herself to turn her eyes up to meet Sasuke's again and she had to swallow hard as she saw the angry look in them.

"I fucked her – but I'm not spending my entire time with her." He hissed in a low voice and his words caused a shocked expression to appear on Sayuri's face. He didn't usually talk this way… at least not to her… Not only his language but also that tone – that cold, callous tone and the matching look in his eyes…

As Sayuri was left speechless, he carried on, but seemed to be speaking to his glass rather than to her and in such a low, quiet voice that she barely heard it. "I only see Karin when she drops in for who knows what reason and annoys me again-"

Even though this really wasn't the time for it, Sayuri couldn't keep a wry grin from appearing on her lips – she just loved to hear him talk bad about the redhead – at least a tiny glimmer of light in this awkward situation…

"-but you… he even harassed you and still you even meet him all alone – as if you as if you wanted to dare him and aimed at getting him to do it again - that's what makes the difference." Sasuke finished and now even that little, sickly smile vanished from Sayuri's face and she felt like she was on the verge of tears, but she was determined to keep them from flowing out and giving away her troubled state of mind, even though simply the look on her face did the job petty well, but then she managed to hide that behind her anger.

"I can't believe you think this way about me…" She murmured morosely and stared with an irritated expression at the clan-heir. "You always act like you were worried about me, but you're not. You know that Neji would never do anything to me… I don't even think this is about jealousy, because if you were jealous that would mean you'd really consider Neji as a rival, which I don't really believe because – let's face it – I doubt you ever heard of something called self-doubt…" Again a wry grin forced its way into Sayuri's face and now her words finally seemed to have drawn Sasuke's attention back to her.

"You just hate him and want me to do so too – or want him to think that I did at least – it's only about the satisfaction of having something he hasn't, isn't it? Like this whole thing was some kind of competition…" Her voice was a bit shaky, and so were her hands, too but she no longer knew if it was with sadness or anger, so she took a deep breath and squeezed her hands into tight balls, before resting them on her knees.

"It doesn't matter." Sasuke said in a low, but firm voice and kept studying the girl next to him through narrowed eyes. "You're my girlfriend and I'm asking you not to see him again."

"You're _asking_ me to?" Sayuri turned her head up again and looked at him with a sceptical expression.

"You won't see him again." He said decisively and yet it sounded completely casual; like he had merely told her to buy milk when she goes shopping, something she could refuse if she should want to, even though his choice of words implied that it wasn't the case here.

"Wh-what?" She stared at him with widened eyes, really not believing that he had actually just said that. "I'm not your _property_ – you can't forbid me to meet my friends." She took up Neji's words – when he had used them they had seemed completely inappropriate, but now…

"You have to know for yourself who is more important to you – you either choose me or that Hyuga."

"N-no. You can't do that…" She shook her head uneasily and noticed how her angry-façade began crumbling, but even so, Sasuke didn't seem in the least moved by the troubled look on her face and raised an eyebrow expectantly, waiting for her answer.

"… I… I want to be with you-"

"-then that's settled." He cut her off, but she shook her head and stared with a vacant expression at the kitchen counters behind him.

"-but Neji is my friend – you can't force me to choose between you." She objected, trying to sound firm and decisive and ran a hand through her hair, before she shook her head in disbelief and felt terribly dizzy all of a sudden.

"I'll go home." She shook her head again and rose to her feet. It somehow felt like she was standing on a ship, everything was swaying and she was afraid she'd crash against the furniture if she started walking with her jelly-legs or that the furniture would come crashing against her… it wouldn't be surprising, she seemed to be a magnet for misfortune.

"I'll come back tomorrow when you're sober…" She added in a hollow voice and wasn't even so sure if Sasuke had said anything to that or not, because even while speaking she had already turned towards the door and again groped her way along the wall, but this time it really was necessary.

Once she was out of the kitchen and had closed the door behind her, she came to a halt and took a deep breath, still not believing that this had really just happened. Again she ran a hand through her long hair, but then pressed it to her mouth to cover a sob.

She didn't want him to know that she was still standing here and was really crying now, so she finished her little break and went for the exit. She had experienced often enough how very long and arduous that little piece of way could be and today was one of these days again – one of the days on which she knew why she couldn't get herself to fully move in here… As it seemed Sasuke had been right and she really needed that emergency solution, a place to run to when things turned nasty…

She tried her best to fight back those tears and walked through the long, empty corridor, watching her feet and trying to walk straight lines along the wooden boards on the floor, but the lines became blurry with her tears welling up and her thoughts pivoting through her head like drunken ballerinas, so she had to rely on the wall after all.

"Wait." She perceived Sasuke's husky voice right behind her and slowed down her steps, but didn't come to a stop and didn't turn back either. However then she was forced to a halt, as Sasuke wrapped his arms around her neck and pulled her back against his firm chest.

"Let go of me." She protested in a quavering voice and tried to push his arms away, but he wouldn't let her.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear and at once caused Sayuri to freeze on the spot, shocked about his words.

He had never yet said that he was sorry. If he was, he usually showed so with gestures or he just didn't admit it, but this was the first time she had actually heard him say so and instead of being glad about it, it only worried her all the more…

"Y-you can't treat me like this and think a simple '_I'm sorry'_ would make up for that…" She murmured trying hard to keep her voice steady, but that was far easier said than done.

"I know…" He sighed and pressed his lips onto her hair lightly, before he closed his hands around her upper arms and turned her around, not minding the meek resistance she put up. He looked deep into her eyes and every bit of coldness had vanished from his face and he really did look regretful.

"… but you will forgive me…" He whispered softly and gently brushed the tears from her face. This wasn't like before; this wasn't an order to forgive him, but a finding…

"… I know…" She sighed helplessly and received another soothing kiss on her forehead, before Sasuke put his arms around her slender shoulders and pulled her into a tight embrace.

Every bit of resistance vanished along with the tears leaking out of her eyes and she hated herself for her weakness. But he was right. She'd always forgive him, maybe not right away, but she was sure that she would… But then they had never gotten to a point where forgiveness seemed to have been out of the question and she really hoped it would never come to this…

He began running a hand over her smooth hair and rested his chin on her head, holding her tightly, his arms feeling hard and cold like they were made of marble. Then he even started rocking her gently, to and fro and this tender gesture was just too much… She slung her arms around his back, clinging to his broad shoulders for dear life and buried her face in his shirt. Her tears slowly started soaking through the front of it, but he didn't comment on it and kept swaying lightly, with his arms wrapped tightly around her shivering body.

It didn't take long for her to calm down again, but she was still breathing heavily, therefore she turned her face to the side so she could take in more air and just hung there in his arms, entirely exhausted from the crying.

"You shouldn't waste your tears on me." Sasuke murmured monotonously and kept on running his hand up and down her back in an almost mechanical manner. However his words caused Sayuri to turn her head up in confusion and look at the dark-haired man through reddened eyes.

"On who else if not you?" She asked in a barely audible voice and tried to search the answer in the depth of his eyes; in the uncommonly melancholic look in them… However her question caused a plaintive expression to appear on his face and he now took his hands away from her back and brushed them lightly over her still wet cheeks, before cupping them around her face and bowing down slightly to place another soft kiss on her lips.

"You're beautiful." Sasuke whispered almost in awe and ran his thumbs over her slightly reddened cheeks. His deep black eyes burned into Sayuri's widened blue ones and she felt like she would collapse into a heap under the weight of these tender words.

He had never yet said anything like that. If he had ever given her a compliment then it was for her cooking or when she had made some progress in her training, but never for something like this. It was just something he didn't do and she had come to accept that. He neither made compliments nor did he apologize.

"N-no…" She shook her head in confusion and kept her eyes fixed on his. "You're not making sense… You're here, when you shouldn't - a-and then you… you're like this and then like that… and you're saying all these things and…" She stuttered, completely churned up, and kept shaking her head, as if she could deny that any of this had happened if she would only do so long enough.

"Shh…" He calmed her, before he touched her lips with his, keeping her from carrying on talking with the softest and sweetest and most sensitive kiss she had ever had. It was as if he was putting all the emotions he always held back into this one kiss and she felt like she would swoon from the sensation, the confusion, the anxiety – she couldn't even list all the different, contradictory emotions she was feeling at the moment, but the sheer number was simply overwhelming her…

He guided her backwards until her back was leaning against the wall and carried on kissing her, still so uncommonly longing and gentle that she could barely stand it and yet didn't even want him to think of stopping. After quite some time he did so though, as the need for oxygen became too much to take and now that his lips were finally gone, Sayuri's senses slowly returned and her confusion again gained the upper hand.

"Please Sasuke… what is going on…?" She whispered helplessly and still quite breathless, but all she got for a response was a weary sigh by the raven-haired man before he again began placing kisses on her face, as if he was determined to cover every bit of skin.

"Nothing…" He breathed against her soft lips, before he claimed them again, but before he could make her forget just about everything again, she pulled away and took his face into her hands.

"You need to talk to me… something happened, right? During your mission…" She gazed at him beseechingly, but he only wore an impatient expression on his face.

"Sayuri… I already told you I was sorry, so what do you want?" He asked with a sharp edge in his voice and narrowed his eyes disapprovingly, again causing a wave of anxiety to surge through Sayuri's body.

"Tell me everything's okay and I'll believe you." She looked openly into his eyes, determined to believe in his next words, regardless of how they'd come off.

But they wouldn't come. He bid into his lip with an almost harried look on his face, before he turned his eyes towards Sayuri's and she was sure she could see something flicker in them. Before she could find out what it was, though, his hands were at her wrists, pushing them away from his face. He pressed them to the wall next to her face, before he crashed his lips to hers again in a raw, bruising kiss – not a trace of the former softness…

She tried to protest, but he kept her pinned to the wall like some rare butterfly, splayed out in a collector's box and all her attempts to make him stop were muffled by his rough lips. This time she didn't give in though. The fierceness of the kiss made it easier to stay focussed. She tried her best to slip her hands out of his grip, but she didn't stand a chance, of course, but she at least managed to turn her face away.

"Sasuke…" She panted, still quite breathless, but the Uchiha-heir didn't stop, but carried on kissing her neck, trying to ignore her, however the frustrated look on his face made clear that he wasn't too successful. He emitted a low groan and sunk his teeth into the crook of her neck, causing her to gasp, with her eyes wide open in surprise.

"S-stop it!"

He tore his lips away from her skin again and let go of her hands, before he banged his clenched fist against the wall right beside her in frustration.

"Then go." He hissed and glowered at her, before he turned around and walked back into the kitchen.

With a shocked look in her eyes, Sayuri stared at the dark wall in front of her, before she twitched as the kitchen door slammed noisily into its frame. Once the quiet returned, she slowly let her arms drop down to her sides, but that was all motion she could bring herself to.

Just what was going on here?

He underwent more changes in mood than a pregnant woman – and she knew a lot about pregnant women – the whole hospital seemed to be full of them lately – it had been a really long and cold, but apparently not lonely winter…

But he wasn't a woman. He had given her enough proof to be a hundred percent sure of that and he wasn't really known for his fickle temper either… so what was this all about?

Maybe it was the alcohol… He seemed to have drunken quite a lot and she had already experienced to what an extend alcohol was able to change a person – but just why was he drinking in the first place? This didn't make any sense… it just didn't and what was she supposed to do now?

She could either stay or go home – to her other home, like he had told her, but that didn't seem right now… It would feel like running away, like abandoning him, now that it got a little difficult… She didn't even know what this was about… Maybe it had something to do with his last mission, or maybe not… Maybe he was just having a bad day, which is why he had started drinking, which is again why he was behaving this way now… So instead of walking out on him she should probably try to cheer him up… But that wasn't so easy… with his temporary mood, it was really hard to do or say the right thing. But that probably didn't matter too much, as long as she didn't leave him alone now… She was sure he didn't want to be alone… he had kind of implied that – before and after he had lost his temper… It was just something about the way he had looked at her, the way he had kissed her or simply the way he had held her there, like he'd never let her go again…

Anxiety – that's what there's been in his eyes – an emotion she had never before seen in them and didn't really want to see there…

She pushed herself off the wall and looked a little lost, the way she stood there in the dark, empty corridor and she wondered if it was really the right thing to do – if he might not need some alone time rather than company… but she had made up her mind already and walked with as much resolution as she could come up with towards the kitchen and went inside after a brief moment of hesitance.

It was entirely dark here by now and Sasuke sat at the very same spot as before and didn't look up as she came in and again she noticed just how downcast he seemed. She didn't really know if that was just a thing about perspective and lighting – somehow this whole room seemed sombre enough by itself – but it was probably an interaction of many different components; of all the things that had happened before…

Maybe it had something to do with this day… Maybe it had been his mother's or father's birthday or even worse their obit… It would fit – it would explain why he was drinking, why he seemed so desperate and was pushing her away only to pull her back a little later. With his past you should think that he'd behave like that far more often, but he didn't, so she shouldn't take offence at the things he had done today… But still all of this was just her guesswork – she had no idea if it was true and she wouldn't ask him again… at least not today…

She sat down on the opposite side of the table, where she usually sat when they were eating, and drew a knee up, before wrapping both her arms around it. Her eyes met Sasuke's briefly before he looked down and groped for his glass, even though it was empty and he just held it a bit above the table and regarded it with a faraway expression. Sayuri tried to keep her eyes focussed on his, hoping they'd turn up again with something reassuring in them; something that would tell her that everything was alright, but instead her gaze was drawn to the empty glass as well and it didn't seem like she'd be able to turn them away again all by herself. She didn't know what it was about that whole thing, about that stupid glass, but she somehow wished it was full… So they kept sitting there in the dark kitchen, without saying a single word and Sayuri dearly wished to be somewhere else, even though she knew now that she was right where she was supposed to be…

…

…


	16. Tension

**16.**** Tension**

It was a really unpleasant day, as so often lately. The sky was covered with thick grey clouds, but some of them seemed to be too tired to stay up and were taking a nap on the streets, which were shiny and black from the loads of rain the heavens had spat out in the course of this still relatively young day.

It was the beginning of the weekend, so everyone who didn't have to go out stayed in bed, giving the cold shoulder to the world beyond the rain-speckled and in most cases draped windows.

It is said that rain has the ability to clean the world, wash away all the dirt and leave everything damp and new – it seemed as if this was the wrong kind of rain though, because instead of leaving the village in a fresh, cleansed state, there was only a muddy mess, yet again.

Everything seemed to be shrouded by a dusty grey veil, woven of cobwebs; something you might find in an old attic, completely forgotten until the day someone has accidentally set foot in it again and has for some unknown reason decided to throw it over the landscape and this is what you got then…

The whole world seemed to have gone pastel. The only exception was a bright red umbrella, apparently able to stay true to its colours in spite of the rain and mist.

The people underneath it however, didn't have that natural resistance their cover apparently possessed. The dreary day not only deprived them of their colours, but even washed every bit of happiness, every joyful flicker in their eyes or even so little as the faintest hint of a smile, down their faces, mingling it with the mud, covering the dark pavement under their feet.

It was a rare picture to see the two Sannin walk through the village at this time of day, in this weather and then without having tried to drown each other in the puddles surrounding them yet.

They were walking side by side; entirely quiet, except for the splashing of water under their shoes, with every step that took them closer towards the main gate and also exit of the village.

"I still don't think this is a good idea…" Tsunade whispered and came to a stop, making herself vulnerable to the pouring rain, which at once dyed her hair in a darker, nearly brown shade and ran in big drops down her reddened skin.

"It's the best there is…" Jiraiya retorted and took a step back towards the head of the Village Hidden in the Leaves and also one of his oldest and not to forget closest friends.

Acting like a gentleman, he moved the red umbrella over her head, to keep her from getting any more soaked than she already was, which was pretty much a waste of effort by now.

"…and besides it's the only one." He grinned encouragingly, displaying a light-heartedness that was entirely inappropriate and simply not comprehensible in view of the fact that he was about to literally throw his life away very soon. However his easy-going attitude didn't seem to rub off on the blonde woman; no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get that worried expression out of her face.

"Next time make sure to use a waterproof Genjutsu – your face is a mess… really not pretty. I think I can actually see the old woman underneath it." The Sannin murmured and already hunched his shoulders, preparing to get slammed against the next tree any second, but apparently his knowledge of his old team-mate's temper failed him.

"Ass." She hissed – not exactly nice, but nothing compared to how she'd usually react to hearing something like the former.

"_Ass…_?" The white-haired man pointed at himself, his chest heaving up and down with his deep chuckles.

"Now don't go soft in your old age. C'mon – you can do better. And don't hold back – I can take it." The Sannin grinned self-assuredly and shot a challenging look at the Hokage, who merely shook her head absentmindedly.

"And you are really, really sure that it's him?" She simply ignored Jiraiya's attempts at lifting the mood – especially her mood – and now caused him to put on a more serious face as well.

"No doubt about it." The white-haired man nodded gravely. "We are really talking about Akatsuki's leader here."

Tsunade grimaced lightly at the mentioning of this name and could feel a numbing heaviness spread all through her body and she was afraid she'd turn to stone, which would maybe be preferable though, because stones didn't feel anything and at the moment there was nothing she wanted more than being unable to feel the weight of the responsibility residing on her shoulders.

"The leader of the most feared criminal organization in the whole world… and you plan on walking in there all by yourself…" The Godaime murmured in a monotonous voice, more to herself than to the man next to her, who was regarding her with a pensive expression.

"That's the plan." He sighed and repeated what he had already told her for quite a lot of times this day.

"There are other options. You don't have to do this… Not all alone…" She gazed up at her old team-mate and there was a pleading look in her honey-brown eyes, which made it hard to look at them, so Jiraiya closed his eyes briefly and then looked towards the end of the road, as the huge main gate of Konoha-Gakure came into view.

"I have to infiltrate Ame-Gakure. It will be hard enough all by myself, which doesn't mean I can't do it, of course… however if I had to take someone with me it would only cause problems… the larger the number the harder it is to stay hidden – therefore a one-person group seems just right to me…" Again his voice was filled with unshaken confidence, but the blonde woman still looked worried.

"This isn't right… the leader of Akatsuki is in Ame-Gakure, right? So Ame-Gakure is most likely where their headquarters are located, which means in worst case you'll not only find their leader but also further members there and what then? What can a single man do against a whole organization of criminals? Tell me." Tsunade said and clenched her fists to keep them from shaking.

She still didn't understand how he could so readily sacrifice his life – because that's all she saw in his actions. He wasn't brave and heroic – none of this was really thought through… it was just plain stupid and suicidal…

"When did you start doubting me so much?" The Sannin evaded her question and raised an eyebrow with a feigned offended look on his face. However his gesture only caused Tsunade to shake her head and sigh wearily, feeling like she was talking to a wall.

"Didn't it ever occur to you that this might not be our battle…?" She murmured in a toneless voice, which barely made it over the pattering of the rain and kept her eyes fixed on the dark red symbols on the gate, they had nearly reached by now. "We are old. We've had out problems. Fought our battles. So maybe Akatsuki is a problem the new generation is meant to take care of…"

"This is no way for a Hokage to talk." Jiraiya shook his head and now gazed at the gate as well. "As long as we can still stand and drag our feet forwards, we'll fight. We'll fight to set a good example for the next generations, to show them the right path. We'll help them live in a trouble-free world."

"There is no such thing as a _trouble-free_ world…" Tsunade said in a low voice and lowered her head, staring at the submerged ground under her feet and her blurred reflection in the various puddles. "As long as there are people, there'll always be trouble…"

"I can't believe how pessimistic you've grown!" Jiraiya exclaimed and there was a mocking smile on his face. "What happened to the saucy, flat-chested little girl?"

Tsunade took some time to ponder her words before she raised her voice in a calm, barely audibly tone: "That girl grew up and was forced to see the world for what it really is…"

"…" Instead of replying, Jiraiya merely watched her, all too aware of the sad expression on her pretty face.

"She saw too many things… death, war, loss – it was too much… it was the end of that girl… and I… I couldn't take any more of that… not again…" Tsunade whispered, putting all effort into keeping her voice from shaking and was mindful to evade Jiraiya's commiserative gaze.

"I wish I could tell you it would stop someday, but it won't. People aren't meant to last forever and there'll always be the pain of losing someone you love, but I believe that there is a way to stop war. A way to stop people form hurting each other on purpose and I am willing to sacrifice everything I have, for a step into that direction, which is why I have to go now." He finished and came to a halt right underneath the main gate, before he turned around to Tsunade again and finally found her looking at him as well.

"Let me at least set up a back-up squad for you. Somewhere in front of the village, so in case something happens they can get you out of there." She tried again with the most reasonable solution to this whole problem, since she had long given up on talking the old sage out of it…

"We had that already - it would be too risky. We don't know anything about their security measures, so we'll stick to the original plan – so now, this is farewell…" He murmured in a soft voice and caused the blonde woman to sigh wearily while she wrapped her arms around her body.

"The way you say that it sounds final…" She looked to the side, trying to hide her feelings behind a sulky mask. "Promise me to return."

"… I'll do my best…" The Sannin smiled sanguinely, before he closed his hand around Tsunade's wrist and pulled it forwards, causing a startled expression to flit over the blonde's face. His smile only grew wider at the sight of her reaction and he now placed the umbrella in her open hand.

"Take care of the village." He said and turned around, his long white hair swinging over his shoulder, before he stepped into the pouring rain and slowly left his old team-mate behind.

"Yo! Ero-Sennin!"

He grimaced as he heard someone call him by this so very unfavourable nickname and knew that it could only be one person, he wanted to talk with anyway… Still this whole thing kind of ruined his supposedly dramatic departure and as he glanced back, he could see that Tsunade was shaking her head and then turned around to walk back into the village.

"Baka! Stop calling me like that!" He barked, holding his hands in front of his body as if he meant to strangle the Uzumaki, even though he was still quite far away, but he was already rushing towards him, apparently unaware of the impending threat.

"Hey! Where are you going?" The blonde asked bluntly, once he reached his master.

"I have a mission." The white-haired man replied meekly and cast a long glance at his student, before he grimaced as the blonde shrieked: "What? You can't do that! What about out meeting?"

"_Meeting_?" The Sannin repeated, really not knowing what he was talking about.

"Don't tell me you forgot it! We've been talking about that, remember?" Naruto observed the elderly man with a raised eyebrow, not understanding how he could have forgotten that… "I finally found a date, where nearly everyone has time. Well… at least the most important people… So you see, you can't go on a mission."

"So I'm one of the important ones, eh?" Jiraiya grinned crookedly, seeming somewhat flattered by these words.

"Sure! You are that old man who always tells stories that make everyone unsure if they should frown or laugh or maybe both…" Naruto explained and didn't even notice how fast that proud grin vanished from Jiraiya's face.

"If you want someone to laugh at, then hire a comedian." He pouted and now a shocked expression appeared on Naruto's face.

"Ah – I didn't mean it like that! Anyway – make sure to be back by this weekend!" He grinned strangely and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, while big drops of rain ran down his face.

"Yo Neji – you, too. This weekend, okay?" Naruto turned to the side as the rest of his team passed him and now greeted the Sannin as well, but the Hyuga didn't react to his invitation in any kind and kept on walking into the village with the rest of his team.

"I fear I won't be back by then…" The Sannin murmured, once the others were gone again.

"What? You can't do that! You want me to have a word with Tsunade?" The blonde proposed and observed with a frown how Jiraiya started grinning.

"That won't be necessary – this isn't one of those missions you can just talk yourself out of…"

"… Don't tell me you turn all of us down, just because you want to peep on some girls again…" Naruto regarded him with a sceptical and even slightly disgusted expression, which at once caused an offended grimace to contort Jiraiya's features.

"You idiot, I'm not _peeping_ on some girls – I'm setting out on a very important mission, they don't even have ranks for yet!" The Sannin defended himself, but wished he hadn't done so, as he saw the eager expression on the blonde's face.

"Really?" He stared at the older man with big eyes. "Awesome! I'll come with you!"

"You can't." He put him off bluntly and cringed as Naruto raised his voice again, in a for his taste far too loud volume.

"But why?"

"Because I have a different task for you…" The Sannin said in a firm voice, all back to serious now, which happened rarely enough.

"Yeah right… this isn't just a way to get rid of me, by any chance?" Naruto pouted and then glared at his master as he started chuckling deeply.

"No. This time it isn't…" The white-haired man laughed and placed a hand on his student's shoulder in an almost fatherly manner. "You've been talking about special training, right?" He asked and at once drew Naruto's full attention to him.

"Well, I've decided that it's time for it now."

"Really? Finally! It's about high time – but wait a second…" The Uzumaki looked down with a pensive expression before he focussed his deep blue eyes on his master again. "How are you supposed to train me when you're not even here and don't want to take me with you?"

"Well spotted." The Sannin grinned proudly before he started to explain. "That's because it won't be me who's training you and quite frankly I don't have time now to give you any details – just summon Gamakichi – he knows everything… so then take care of yourself!" Jiraiya winked at his student and vanished in a puff of smoke as Naruto was only just about, to open his mouth and complain about these vague instructions…

…

…

She was awake since so long now… She wasn't even sure if she had slept at all – it had been more like drifting from a more conscious state into a less conscious one and back again for quite a lot of times, but recreation had gotten lost somewhere between some tossing and turning or maybe just the worrying. Her desperate attempts at seeking an explanation for what had happened yesterday.

However now Sayuri was wide awake, since a couple of hours actually and yet she pretended it to be different. She was careful to keep her breathing soft and even, and to move as little as possible, even less than she probably did when she really was asleep. All of this to make sure that she wouldn't wake him, even though she wasn't really certain if he was asleep at all. It was close to noon already – he rarely slept this long so maybe he did it like her and just pretended to be sleeping, procrastinating the moment they would have to face each other and talk about what happened.

It was raining again, just a faint drizzle, but it still had the quality of making the world look darker, as if it washed all the colour off the objects it came across. It seemed to be just the right weather; it went well with the general mood of this day and Sayuri was glad about any sound that filled the room. Anything that kept her from suffering the silence.

Time was ticking away second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour – doomed to carry out this unchanging activity over and over again, but its impatient nagging fell on deaf ears, long past being consciously perceived.

She wouldn't _'wake up'_ before him; she wouldn't be the one to approach this whole thing. She hated these kinds of conversations anyway, so she wouldn't be the one to start it…

Maybe he really was asleep still… maybe he was having a hangover, considering how much he had drunken it wouldn't even be surprising… In the course of last night he had drained the entire bottle of Sake, while she had just sat there and had watched him without any comments, like a good girl would, even though she had been screaming in her head for him to stop; not just the drinking but actually stop not being himself. It had been close to midnight when he had run out of alcohol and had proposed going to bed. These remained the only words he would utter that night, while she had grown silent long before that. They had quietly walked upstairs and had lain down on their sides of the bed, as far away from the other as possible and with their heads facing into the opposite direction.

Nothing had changed about that… at least not with her… She was lying at the very edge of the bed, her face almost touching the edge of the bedside table, a too sudden motion in her sleep and she would have been in danger of losing an eye. She hadn't turned around yet to see how it was with Sasuke, but considering that the bed was pretty narrow – actually just a bigger version of a one-person bed – and they weren't in any kind touching each other, not even their feet or elbows, he was probably still lying at the very same spot he had fallen asleep on.

If he hadn't tugged at the blanket a couple of hours ago, she wouldn't even know that he was there at all… But in case he should have left, he would have had to pass her side of the bed, so she would have noticed. Still she somehow didn't feel too sure about it any longer, so she really contemplated turning around, just to make sure that he was there and maybe to find out if he really was sleeping or not…

Determined to keep up her masquerade, she squeezed her eyes shut, really lightly, trying to keep her face as calm and relaxed as possible, before she slowly rolled around and placed both her hands right in front of her face, hiding as much of it as she could but still kept her eyes closed.

Then, about a minute later, which she thought enough, she opened her eyes a little, mainly seeing some blurry streaks of her lashes though, so she had to open them a bit wider, seeing that Sasuke lay on his side with his face turned into her direction, his coal black eyes gleaming at her out of the semi-darkness.

So he really was awake and now he knew that she was too, so there was no need to pretend it to be otherwise any longer.

She opened her greyish blue eyes completely now, wishing she hadn't turned around after all, because now she didn't know what to do, but it shouldn't be up to her anyway – he was the one who had messed up, therefore he should be the one to make the first step.

All he did was staring at her though – who knew how long he had been doing so already… maybe he was as anxious about the whole thing as she was…

However he didn't let it show, if that was the case or not - unlike yesterday his eyes were entirely blank, just a bit darker than usually, but that was probably due to the lack of light… The rainy day apparently managed to even soak the tiny bit of grey out of his eyes and made them appear entirely black.

Staring seemed to be his only tactic of dealing with this thing and all Sayuri did was holding his gaze, even though she realized that her heartbeat quickened slightly as she thought about what might happen next. They couldn't lie here and look at each other forever, but she wouldn't be the one to make the first step – she was determined not to give in… But as it seemed he felt the same way about that, so this would probably escalate into a battle of stubbornness and in that case, he'd probably win, but even so, she wouldn't accept that without having put up a fight at least.

Against expectations, she didn't lose to him after all… He was the first one to break the eye contact; he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, parting his lips slightly, but then closing them again and opening his eyes in turn. She searched for that something she saw in them yesterday – that glimmer of anxiety, maybe even despair, but it wasn't there any more. Maybe it had really been the alcohol – that would explain a lot of things, but not everything…

He closed his hands around hers, pulling them down so he had a better view of her face. His skin was cold and the touch felt uncomfortable in the first second, but then her hands warmed his and his cooled hers and after some time they adapted to each other and then the light pressure was all that reminded her of the contact.

Still not a single word left his lips, however his eyes spoke volumes, but all the words seemed weirdly blurred or just specially coded – either way impossible for her to decipher correctly – unbearable amounts of mysteries she wasn't able to unravel…

There was his soft, warm breath against her skin as he leaned closer, and pressed his lips onto her forehead, in which was probably supposed to be a kiss – maybe an apologetic one even – but this whole gesture seemed forced, so it was meaningless, like a hollow promise, an empty gesture, nothing to be taken serious.

She squeezed her eyes shut reflexively, before she looked up again as he brushed her fringe out of her face, barely touching her skin, while doing so.

Did this count as a first step now? After all he had kind of approached her, even though his actions didn't seem too earnest – as if he had only done so because he felt like he had to… Either way, relationships were about compromises, weren't they? So she'd have to get over her inhibitions and just start talking herself…

"You're sober now?" She asked raising an eyebrow, and somehow her voice sounded more snappish than she had intended it to, or maybe she just thought it did… after all her whole question seemed snappish by itself…

"Tze…" He groaned and rolled his eyes in annoyance, at once letting his hand drop from her cheek again.

He still seemed somehow touchy – maybe he was embarrassed about what had happened – even though she highly doubted that – but still he probably didn't like to think about it and neither did she, but it's not like it mattered…

"What was th-" She started but Sasuke put a finger on her mouth to silence her, before he closed his eyes pointedly and murmured: "Nevermind…"

"_Nevermind_?" She propped herself up on her elbows, causing his finger to slide from her lips and gazed down at the raven-haired man with a sceptical look on her face.

"Hn." He nodded after having emitted another annoyed sound. "It was nothing…"

"_Nothing_?" Her eyes widened and she shook her head in disbelief, while a wry grin appeared on her face. "You break off your mission for who knows what reason and instead of you it was Tsunade who told me about it and then I get here and you're drinking and are totally beside yourself – and you say it's _nothing_?"

"Hn." He nodded again and now supported himself on an elbow as well, bringing his face on a level with Sayuri's, so the piercing look he cast at her would be more effective. "It was a bad day…"

"And that's all?" She asked, really not believing that a simple _bad day_ could get him to act the way he had done…

"It's all you need to know…" He murmured this so very unsatisfying explanation and there was something decisive in his voice, even the way he looked at her told her that he considered this conversation to be over.

"What kind of an answer is that?" She frowned, ignoring the imaginary gag he tried to silence her with.

"A sufficient one." He narrowed his eyes slightly, again trying to intimidate her with his impatient gaze and even though it kind of did work, she tried not to show it.

"You practically didn't say anything – just some empty words, so what part of that is sufficient? You-"

"–drop it." He interrupted her brusquely, causing her to suck in her bottom lip in frustration.

Sighing, he shook his head about her reaction, before he gripped for her upper arm and tugged at it, so she was lying flat on her back again, before he rolled over her, pinning her to the mattress. She squirmed under his weight, but he remained relentless, keeping her down with his hands and his stare.

"I had a bad day and you happened to be the one who suffered from it… that's all there was to it… So stop being such a nuisance." He said in a firm voice and watched how a hurt expression appeared on Sayuri's face and caused his features to soften a little.

"I already apologized…" He murmured in a calm voice and leaned down to her, so close that his face became blurry, so Sayuri closed her eyes and just concentrated on his voice and the feel of the heat radiating from his skin.

"Don't think about it any more…" He breathed a kiss against her lips and this time it wasn't like the one from before, there was something sincere about this gesture.

Stop thinking about it – what a funny guy he was… As if there was any way she could simply forget this – the only thing she could do for him was maybe stop talking about it. She didn't want to have this conversation anyway, but then she'd never know what all of this had been about – apart from having been a bad day, which was definitely true and not only for him…

"If it was something important you would tell me… wouldn't you?" She murmured in a faint voice and opened her eyes again, at once met by Sasuke's deep black ones. She held the gaze, trying to find the answers his mouth wouldn't reveal in his eyes, but same as always he was a closed book to her.

After a long moment, filled with an obscure number of unspoken words, he leaned down to her again and captured her lips in a slow but sensual kiss that made her forget about all her questions for as long as it lasted.

Here again he had wrapped her around his finger. How could she possibly believe that something was not right, when he was here kissing her like this? It was always the same, his lips not only managed to turn her knees to jelly but also her head – most of the time that was a positive thing though – the fact that her boyfriend was a really good kisser was definitely no reason to complain – however in these situations, in which keeping a clear head was definitely helpful, she almost wished it was different. At the moment however it didn't matter, nothing did, she just lay there, kissed senseless by the Uchiha.

That's how most of the morning passed. They kept lying in bed, exchanging kisses and caresses, intimate looks, but not a single word – still those soft, sincere touches seemed enough to dissipate all her doubts. Reality was out of the window by that time, somewhere hidden in the greyness of this day. It felt like everything would be alright as long as they just stayed here, not allowing anything of what had happened to catch up to them. It was so much easier this way – turning blind to everything unpleasant – something they had both mastered…

The uneasy feeling remained though, but was smothered by those uncommonly sweet endearments – he seemed to have a guilty conscience - at least that would explain why he was so considerate and gentle and generous – simply because he thought there was something he had to make up for and Sayuri really contemplated complying with his request and stop thinking about it – for his or maybe rather her good…

…

…

Later that day, as they had finally decided to leave the cozy shelter of their bed, which meant making themselves vulnerable to whatever might come again, Sayuri sat in the workroom, which used to belong to Sasuke's father and tried to distract herself by reading some of his books.

Against expectation, it really seemed to work, however not in the way she would have expected it to… She was sitting there in this really comfortable armchair, with this really interesting, but very dry and prosaic book about astronomy. She figured it might be useful to extend her knowledge about constellations for better orientation during some missions; however she barely got past the introductory part when she sank deeper and deeper into the comfortable armchair and about a minute later she had already fallen asleep.

Only when the heavy book dropped off her lap and landed with a noisy thud on the wooden floor, was it that the violet-haired kunoichi was finally ripped out of her deep sleep. She first had to severe her face from the smooth leather of the armrest, which wasn't exactly pleasant, before she cast a startled look through the room she was in, actually needing to make out where she was, where the sound had come from and what she was doing here in the first place.

It took her a lot of overcoming to rise up from the chair and put the book back to its former place. She just felt far more exhausted now than she still had this morning, even though she must have slept quite some time, at least it looked as if the sun was already setting or maybe it was just a cloud… But it didn't matter how long her little nap had lasted – she was rather confused about the fact that she had fallen asleep at all. She couldn't even remember the last time she had dozed off while doing something else – usually that didn't happen. She usually needed to shut off her mind completely to fall asleep, no matter how tired she might be, so this was really uncommon for her, but then this whole thing with Sasuke had really eaten at her, which is why she had gotten so very little sleep last night and now that it had gotten a bit better at least, she had apparently decided to catch up on that.

Still she felt entirely drained, her head seemed somewhat hazy and heavy, like she was about to get ill, even Tsunade had told her yesterday that she looked bad, whereas Sasuke had said the exact opposite – yet more evidence that it hadn't been him but the alcohol speaking.

She walked down into the kitchen, planning to stuff herself with anything she could find, she really didn't care as long as it contained a lot of carbohydrates to drive her blood sugar up.

Once the fridge was pretty much empty, which really didn't take long, since it hadn't exactly been full to begin with – after all they had both been on missions the last week and no one had really thought of buying some groceries yet. However now that she had finished her sparse lunch, or rather dinner, since it was indeed pretty late already, Sayuri began to wonder where Sasuke was, so after taking another apple, out of the only a little bit fuller fruit basket, she walked through the house in search of her boyfriend and she already had a pretty good idea of where he was…

Without bothering to look into any of the rooms she came across, she went straight towards the training hall and already heard quite some noise, like that of things breaking, from a distance. She walked to the door and opened it a crack, afraid of getting hit by something if she'd walk in right away.

The noise broke off at once, so she opened the door fully now and stepped into the room, or at least one of her feet did, whereas the rest of her remained in the threshold of the doorway. Her eyes came across Sasuke right away; he was standing in the middle of the spacious room and there were some scattered splinters of wood and also some slightly bigger pieces all around him. Even the floor seemed to have cracks and fissures that have definitely not been there before and she figured that he must have trained his Chidori, even though it surprised her a little, since he usually did it outdoors, to prevent damaging the house.

"Awake again?" The Uchiha asked in a husky voice and turned towards the girl who had only just entered. However her attention was still focussed on all the damage he had done to the room, before she finally looked at him with a puzzled frown on her face.

"You knew I was asleep? – Why didn't you wake me?" She asked and leaned against the doorframe, with her hands folded behind her back and her cheek touching the rough wood.

"You looked tired…" He shrugged and caused a wry grimace to appear on Sayuri's face; she got to hear that far too often lately – she should probably start wearing make-up so people would stop telling her that.

"You've been mad or something?" She smiled uneasily, trying to sound casual and raised an eyebrow, while roaming her eyes across the room.

"Just tried something new…" Sasuke explained without going into any details, before his eyes moved to the side and fell on a bigger piece of wood in a corner of the room. His eyes narrowed somewhat disapprovingly, before he walked towards it and turned it over with his foot and now Sayuri saw that it was a small target, or at least one half of it.

"Uhm… mind if I watch you?" She asked in a soft voice, her eyes focussed on the Uchiha-heir who still stared at the remnant of the wooden target right in front of his toes.

"… I'm done here anyway…" He murmured after a couple of seconds and now shifted his obsidian eyes to the violet-haired girl again.

"Oh…okay…" She lowered her head a little, but then heard Sasuke heave a weary sigh and looked up again, realizing that he was walking into her direction now.

"What is it now?" He came to a stop right in front of the somewhat downcast seeming girl and eyed her sceptically.

"Nothing really…" She shook her head and flashed a not really convincing smile at her opposite, who obviously didn't buy that.

"Then come on…" He sighed and put an arm behind Sayuri's back, pushing her off the doorway and then pulled her along with him over the wooden porch, surrounding the entire mansion.

She cast a startled look at him, but didn't say anything and just allowed him to lead the way, until she remembered a promise she had given to a young boy not so long ago…

"There is something I wanted to talk to you about…" She murmured and now Sasuke came to a stop and looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, giving her the impression that she had his undivided attention.

"I wanted to ask you a favour."

"A favour?" He repeated her words and took his hand from her back, to lean against the wooden railing right behind him.

"Mmm-hmm. Sooo… will you do it?" She asked and smiled sheepishly, hoping that his apparent guilty conscience would lead him to say yes right away. However the sceptical frown on his face and the way he crossed his arms in front of his chest made her doubt that.

"Not unless you tell me what."

"Okay…" She sighed and leaned back against the wall. "It's about Nao… he's in hospital for quite some time already and he'll probably have to stay there for much longer… and well… he isn't really able to do much and he's bored a lot and… he always wants me to tell him stories – especially about you…"

Here Sasuke narrowed his eyes slightly, apparently not too happy about her words, so Sayuri looked down at his chest and took a deep breath before carrying on. "You know… after all the losses he has suffered he just needed something to hold on to and apparently that is you… he sees you as some kind of hero, I think, and it would mean an awful lot to him if you'd just see him and maybe talk to him about this whole thing."

She looked up again with her big blue eyes, waiting for his response, but it wouldn't come so she figured she had to be a bit more precise. "Soo… will you do it…?"

"No." He answered brusquely, at once causing a sulky expression to appear on Sayuri's face.

"But why not?" She whined and now crossed her arms in front of her chest as well.

"I'm not the right person for that."

"You are." Sayuri objected. "I mean you two are… like… I mean… he nearly went through the same as you did… You would have probably been glad if you'd have someone to talk to… someone who had actually gone through a similar situation and had learned to cope with it, don't you think?" She asked, even though she felt kind of reluctant about it - after all his past was definitely his sore spot…

"It's not even nearly similar." He merely replied; his voice as cold as it had been yesterday and the look in his eyes perfectly accentuated that.

At first Sayuri didn't know what to say and just gazed with an uncomprehending expression into Sasuke's eyes – the parallels between both their pasts were impossible to overlook, so how could he deny it?

"Even so, you've been the one who saved his life - his hero - and he'd really like to meet you… especially because he doesn't know much of what happened anyway – only what I've told him…" She decided to go along with his opinion and just ignore the similarities there were between them, but still it didn't seem as if she'd be able to get through to him.

"Tze… and did you also tell him that it was his _hero_ who might have contributed to killing a part of his family?" Sasuke hissed and scrutinized the girl in front of him through narrowed eyes.

She hadn't even thought about that, but he was right – it had been some kind of family-intern war and they had interfered, so it was definitely possible that he might have killed someone really close to Nao – maybe his father or brother, an uncle? – no one could tell now – there was no one left who could…

"But you had to do it." Sayuri murmured in a soft voice, already seeing this as a lost battle, but trying anyway. "If you hadn't he would be dead now, too."

"And you think it's so much better to be alive?" He said in a low voice, causing Sayuri to turn her head up with a shocked expression. "He has nothing – his home is destroyed, there is no one alive any longer – he couldn't even cling to his revenge… his life is forfeited…"

"H-how can you say something like this…?" She murmured in a frail voice, feeling a queasy sort of anxiety rush all through her body but centring in her throat and even exerting some kind of pressure on her eyes, as if someone was actually standing there and pressed his thumbs on them.

"How can you not see it?" Sasuke's voice remained cold, maybe even angry; his features unmoved and he now unfolded his arms and rested them on the balustrade to his sides.

"You don't know what it's like… You never experienced what real loss is… how it feels to lose the people you love more than anything …" He hissed, barely louder than a whisper, before he pushed himself off the railing and walked inside, while Sayuri still stood at the very same spot and gazed at the empty space in front of her.

Maybe he was right and she had never experienced what real loss is, but in moments like these she was afraid she would…

…

…


	17. Changes part 1

**17. Changes part 1**

Things had long stopped being right… they weren't wrong either; they seemed to be too indecisive themselves to know what they were and if they didn't know, how could anyone else do so then?

Their holidays were almost over – she still had two days left, whereas Sasuke was supposed to go on a mission tomorrow - and just as planned they had finally found some time for each other. However that time they were spending together wasn't even nearly the way she had thought it would be. At least most of the time…

They had rarely ever left the house, if at all then for buying groceries, or walking the dog and then it was always her – as far as she could tell he hadn't set a foot out of the door in the whole last week.

It were five days now in which she was more or less imprisoned in this huge, hostile building and it was so terribly lonely here, Sasuke's company seemed no longer able to dispel the solitude every single object, all the walls and floors radiated.

She would have done anything to get out of here – really anything – but he just wouldn't let her… It's not like he forbad her to go out and meet her friends, at least not directly… It was just something about the way he would look at her then… About how cold and harsh his voice would sound and then the way he would turn away and leave her feeling like she had done something terribly disgraceful, like she was a bad person… and then she'd stay, trying her best to rise in his estimation again, while simultaneously sinking in her own one.

It made her sick to think that she was running after him like a faithful puppy. She tried to convince herself that it wasn't like that – that _she_ wasn't like that – but it was really hard to listen to those empty words when all her actions spoke so very clearly against that… But there was nothing else to do… or maybe there was and she just hadn't realized so yet, but it was hard to think straight, when fear and anxiety were doing their best to paralyze your brain cells.

She didn't know what was going on, but something was wrong… something had happened and she couldn't tell what and he was changing and distancing himself and it hurt to see him. It hurt to be helpless. She had thought it were these happy moments which welded together, but that didn't seem to be the case. It was the fear of losing that someone which made you aware of how much he really meant to you… When you feel so strongly for someone that it hurts, then it had to be love…

No wonder she hadn't been sure before if she really loved him when she had always looked out for the good things and had tried to base these feelings on them, but then no one had ever told her that love was painful, so how could she have possibly known…?

It wasn't all bad though – that's what made it so confusing… He was oscillating between the extremes. He was either completely distant and unapproachable, even aggressive at times, or more open than he had ever been… In the course of this week they had gone through the very worst, but also the most intimate moments they had ever spent together…. Sitting outside on the porch underneath a sky reminiscent of a midnight blue ocean with tiny white crystals riding its rippling waves, gazing into the stars and hushing secrets to each other into the early morning hours… Talking and lying like lovers do – like she would have never thought him capable of, but he had never acted so lovingly and never lied so truthfully and it were these moments she clung to so desperately and yet couldn't exploit to their full potential, because there was always the fear of the abrupt endings – the moment when things would stop feeling right. It was so very, very easy to do or say the wrong thing and ruin everything. So she fell back into her old patterns. Saying words without any meaning. Altering his words and selling them as her own, in the hope of avoiding the wrong answers this way… Keeping her real thoughts locked inside the distinct boundaries of her mind. She was sure he could see them there. Was sure they were leaking out of her eyes like his seemed to do, but he would never let it show. He seemed to be hiding too much himself to act as a judge, so they ran out of words far too soon and their relationship was in the process of being reduced to mere coexistence, but none of them seemed ready to admit that…

But it wasn't so much about the words he said any longer – they didn't seem to be meaningful anyway. All these things which were left unsaid seemed far more important. Eyes did the talking; thoughts drifting through parted lips, but dying as they were released to freedom… But they were just about everywhere – all these rotting thoughts which had never been meant for anyone to hear, and no matter how hard she tried to look away and not listen, she'd always pick up some incoherent, half-decayed pieces of them and that would make things even worse, would be just all the more confusing…

Yesterday had been one of the good days – at least most of it – these moments happened quite often, though not as often as the bad ones… Everything was repeating itself and yet she'd always begin hoping again, hoping that it'd be over now, that he'd go back to normal, even though she should have long learned her lesson by now.

And here she was now, lying on her side of the bed, with her eyes focussed on the back of his neck, right where his dark hair ended and his pale skin began. It had become a new habit of his to sleep as far away from her as possible. Sometimes he lay down like that right away, sometimes not – but in the course of the night he'd always move away from her, as if there was something about her that repelled him – even subconsciously which made it just all the worse…

This whole situation was really eating at her, she lost most of her appetite and ate more out of habit than from hunger and everything seemed to taste the same anyway, she didn't know if she had unlearned cooking or if there was something wrong with her taste buds… And then she was sleeping really badly lately as well; she spent most of her nights with worrying and looking at his backside, hoping that he'd turn around maybe and tell her everything would be okay from now on, but he never did…

The last time he's probably been staring at the back of her head – now it was the other way around and she had come to hate that sight or rather hate what she associated with it… It was hard to believe how someone could be so close by and yet so far away… Hard to believe how very quick and sudden things could change…

Last week everything had been just fine. Everything had been easy, it had felt like they'd last forever, like nothing could ever happen to them, but then it had happened. She still didn't know what, but it had definitely happened. She no longer felt good and secure when she was with him; it was more like she was floating around, always at the mercy of his whims. It felt like all her organs had shrunken and were now loosely drifting around in her body and she felt giddy and queasy and nauseous – just unstable and she was no longer able to regulate these feelings all by herself…

It was still early and sleeplessness was making her head feel mushy and unpleasantly warm, like she was having hot flashes and she couldn't bear lying around any longer, so she slid out of bed, as quietly as she could and tiptoed out of the dim room.

The corridor on the other side of the door was even darker, since there were no windows, but she didn't bother about that and just walked unwaveringly to the bathroom, only three doors away.

A soft click sounded through the quiet, as she slowly shut the door behind her, before she moved towards the sink and turned on the water at its coldest setting. She kept her eyes down, mindful to avoid looking into the mirror, before she moved her wrists under the ice-cold jet of water and closed her eyes with a weary sigh.

She was feeling how her body cooled down slowly but surely and watched purple patterns creep over her pallid skin, making it look like that of a mutant, until her hands started getting numb, so she moved them away and bowed down to splash some water into her face as well.

She stared at the little vortex above the drain, for quite some time, before she eventually turned the water off again and stepped backwards to sit on the rim of the bathtub. Once again she closed her eyes and placed one of her ice-cold and still somehow numbish hands in her neck and made a game out of controlling her breathing and slowing her heart down as best as she could manage.

She didn't really know how long she had sat there and didn't really know what had moved her to getting up… She only realized so, when she heard the creaking of the door as she shoved it open and next second she was already on her way back to the bedroom.

She hadn't closed the door behind her, so she just slipped through the open crack and at once saw that Sasuke hadn't moved a bit – still only displaying his backside.

She slowly stepped to the bed and pulled up the blanket to crawl under it, not really believing that she could fall asleep again. Therefore she went back to her former occupation and resumed staring at the back of his head, while a soft sigh escaped her lips.

Usually she'd just move closer to him and snuggle against his back and she'd really like to do so now, but she just didn't know if it would be okay or if he'd push her away. She never knew what mood he was in, so she had no idea how he'd react and it made her feel helpless and insecure – even worse than as they had gotten started…

But yesterday, he's been in a good mood and he was… well… affectionate… they had lain in bed and talked and kissed for hours and then she had fallen asleep in his arms and woken up again as she was suddenly freezing and then he was gone, as far away as the bed would allow… And she didn't really understand that… understand how everything could be perfectly fine in one second and then suddenly not any more just a moment later.

She forced herself to overcome her fear of rejection and did what she'd usually do; she moved closer to him and placed her hands on his waist, burying her face in the nape of his neck, the very spot she always got to see lately.

With held breath she waited for his reaction and realized to her surprise that her heart was still beating really calmly and evenly, even though she was completely on edge and somehow that didn't seem right…

His reaction came pretty soon; he gripped for her hands and put them away from his waist and Sayuri could feel something shatter in her chest and felt like she was sucked into a deep black hole, as her worries turned out to be true.

His dishevelled hair brushed across her face, as he rolled around and she had to scrunch her nose and pull her head back a little, before she'd start sneezing. A few seconds ago she had wanted him to turn around more than anything, but now…

Whether she wanted it or not, he turned around, his coal black eyes at once boring into hers. She lowered her gaze a little, looking at his chin, rather than into his eyes, but then gazed even farther down as he put both her hands together and closed his around them.

A hint of confusion crossed her face and she forced herself to look up at the dark-haired man again, but his features were as inscrutable as always, but still she now realized what this was about… She was such a jerk – her hands were still cold like lumps of ice – same as her face. What a nice way to wake up – now he was sure to be in a bad mood – just great…

"Can't sleep?" He murmured in a low voice and received a light nod in response.

"Sorry for waking you…" She whispered uneasily, but instead of responding, Sasuke only looked at her through his pitch black eyes and a quiet sigh passed his lips, before he moved closer to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Her petite body nearly vanished in his bear-hug and she at once slung her arms around him, too, enjoying that moment of closeness. He rolled onto his back again so she was lying on top of him, with her face resting right above his chestbone and just lay there and listened to the murmuring of his heart.

And here everything felt fine again, just like that and she caught herself hoping again, even though that was about the last thing she wanted, but there was nothing she could do about that…

A contented sigh passed her lips as he slipped a hand under her far too big shirt and began drawing random patterns on the skin of her back with his fingertips. She concentrated on these images, trying to fathom what they were, while she kept on listening to his slow, even heartbeat.

"You hear that?" She asked in a soft voice, with a light smile on her face and turned her head up to look at him.

"Hear what?" Sasuke sighed and now paused in his movement, his forefinger resting right between the soft ridges of her spine.

"Our hearts are beating in unison…" She whispered, only voicing it since it happened rarely enough, or has never before happened, because his resting pulse was far lower than hers and maybe she saw it as a good sign or something, she didn't really know, but she couldn't help smiling.

"I don't hear anything…" He said in a blank voice and rested his hand on the warm skin between her shoulder blades.

"Oh…" She breathed; disenchanted by his brusque and sober answer and rested her ear on his chest again, feeling stupid for having said that. All this rejection, the constant to and fro must have hardened her heart, which would explain why it was beating so slowly, this wasn't anywhere near being a good sign… her heart must be turning to stone, just like his…

…

…

With a loud thud the door slammed shut behind her and she again found herself in this mausoleum for deceased thoughts. She inhaled the dry and stifling air and watched whirls of dust dance in the narrow sunbeams, drifting through the door behind her.

Sighing, she walked to the other end of the corridor and pulled the door leading into the garden open to let some air in, when her dog dashed past her and ran out at once, while barking loudly to warn whoever might be there in the garden that he was back now. It had actually been pointless to take him for a walk; he was outdoors most of the day and huge as the grounds were, he was definitely not lacking room for running around, but then she was glad for every chance there was to get out of here and this was definitely a welcome excuse - something Sasuke couldn't say anything against…

After filling her lungs with as much of the clean, fresh air as they could take, she turned back inside and pondered whether she should start doing some cleaning, but same as almost always she decided against that – her laziness taking the upper hand again.

She went into the kitchen and brewed some tea, to warm herself up again, which was in dire need, after she had walked through the sunny, but really chilly day for quite some time.

With the full, steaming mug of herb tea in her hand, she went upstairs, planning to carry on reading the book she had started yesterday. She was really reading a lot lately, it was the best way of distracting herself and passing the time when he was giving her the silent treatment again – it was like she could turn her imagination over to the lives and troubles of others and leave everything behind – just dive into the world of the book and forget about everything else…

At first she wasn't really sure where she had left it, but then remembered that she had read last night, or had at least meant to do so, therefore she figured it was probably lying on her bedside table.

She walked into the bedroom, but came to a stop in the doorway, as she saw that Sasuke was standing at the other end of it and was looking out of the smaller window. She kept standing there and stared at his backside as so often, while he didn't even turn around or did anything else to acknowledge her presence.

"…What are you doing…?" She asked eventually and walked to the bed to place her mug on the small table next to it. When she looked up again, she realized that Sasuke was now at least looking at her from the corner of his eyes.

"What took you so long?" He asked after a couple of seconds, but against expectation there was no judgmental tone in his voice, so it didn't really help her figure out his temporary mood.

"I walked the dog and then visited Nao in the hospital." She explained in a calm voice and gazed with a slightly uneasy expression at the dark-haired man, who just turned back to the window and nodded his head lightly. Now she saw though that his eyes weren't directed at the world beyond the glass, but at a small picture frame on the table right in front of him. She watched him for a long moment, until she remembered why she had come here and looked at the cover of the book.

She had actually meant to lie down on the bed and read there, but now reconsidered that again and picked up the mug and her novel and walked to the armchair in the opposite corner of the room.

Some barking from outside dinned through the quiet and now she looked out of the window as well, or wanted to do so, but Sasuke was blocking her view.

"I could become that someone-" He raised his voice, as she had only just sat down in the cosy armchair and now looked at him with a startled expression, but he wouldn't turn around to her. "– the outlet for his hatred."

Now she understood what he meant; this was about Nao, about the quarrel they've had because of him.

"No… I wouldn't want that." She shook her head uneasily and now finally drew Sasuke's gaze towards her. He turned around and leaned against the sideboard, before he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"You're afraid he could kill me?" The Uchiha-heir eyed her with a raised eyebrow and something about the tone in his voice made clear that he considered this whole thing as pretty ridiculous.

"No…" She shook her head again and gazed to the side briefly. "I just… don't even want to see him try…" She locked her greyish-blue eyes with his again, but he only gave her a sceptical frown, so she turned her head down and stared vacantly at the cover of her book, while a light blush settled on her cheeks. "He is different from you… he rather needs a hero than an enemy."

He didn't say anything to that and as Sayuri turned her head up after a couple of seconds, she found him staring at her with this pensive, maybe even plaintive look in his deep black eyes, she could see there so often lately. He kept scrutinizing her closely for quite some time and Sayuri would have best liked to turn away again and just bury herself in her book, but it didn't seem right to do so now. This was the hardest thing about this whole situation; she couldn't just do what she wanted to do, but always had to consider what was right and wrong, or appropriate and inappropriate…

With a sigh, he eventually pushed himself off the sideboard and walked with slow steps towards the armchair the medic-nin was sitting in and came to a stop right in front of her, so she had to tilt her head back to look into his face. He brushed a finger over her now again pale cheek, before he placed his hand under her chin to push it farther up, forcing her to keep her eyes fixed on him.

This posture wasn't really comfortable and Sayuri had no idea what this was all about, but he was so intently looking at her that it felt like he was reading her mind, wandering through her mental constructs and analyzing every section of them, delving deeper into her thoughts than she would have ever allowed him access to.

An uneasy expression flitted over her face and she lowered her eyes, feeling like a dog that can't keep up the eye contact too long and was still forced to do so…

"You're too naïve…" He sighed and dropped his hand from her chin and now again drew Sayuri's startled gaze towards him, but he wouldn't explain his words… Instead he leaned forward and slipped one of his arms under her knees, before he lifted them up and sat down in the armchair as well, with her legs across his lap.

This action only added to her confusion, but still she shifted her weight to sit more comfortably and leaned her head against his shoulder, while Sasuke put an arm around her back to support her. She softly brushed her fingertips over his cold cheek and stretched up to kiss him briefly, before she just looked into his dark eyes and again saw that weirdly melancholic look in them…

But it weren't only his eyes, there was something melancholic about everything he did lately; about the way he watched his surroundings; the way he moved with an authority and deliberateness that was only dimmed by a certain vacancy in his countenance. Yet everything he did seemed to have a purpose – he could stand in an empty room and do nothing but stare at a cupboard – a picture maybe, like he just did – and yet it felt like he was doing something important. Something secretive and furtive you couldn't possibly understand when you weren't in on the whole secret…

But she wasn't. Everyday she felt it a little more. Felt how she ceased to be a person and was lowered to the level of all these objects he liked to look at. He looked and she could see herself in the film of his eyes, surrounded by darkness and she wondered if that's what he saw… If that was maybe his way of seeing the world… She couldn't really tell but she always caught him staring at her, sometimes openly but most often not. His eyes bearing a knowledge she couldn't even get close to understand and it scared her. Even at those times when he was treating her so uncommonly sweet, because that just wasn't the way he was - like he was a different person… She had even feared that it wasn't really him – that something had happened during his mission and he had been captured and this was just a pretty bad double…

This time he was the one to break the eye contact by gently pushing her head into the crook of his neck. Then he even began running his hand over her hair and she really began thinking he saw her as his pet, which didn't mean she wouldn't enjoy being pampered like this…

They sat like this for a bit, without saying anything and even though they were really close and Sasuke kept on stroking her absentmindedly, it somehow seemed strained, so Sayuri finally opened her book and started reading. But here again he kept her from fully concentrating and she had to read some passages twice, since her mind was elsewhere, somewhere caught between the jumble of black letters and this shallow, twisted version of reality.

"What are you thinking…?" Sayuri whispered, after Sasuke hadn't done anything but holding her for at least thirty minutes, which she considered as pretty tiring and she somehow felt like she had to do something about that, as if she was the host here, or a hired entertainer …

"Hm?" His voice sounded a bit drowsy, like she had just ripped him out of his thoughts and now he turned his face down to look at her.

"What are you thinking?" She repeated her question and looked with an expectant face at the dark-haired man.

"I wonder how you can read something this stupid…" He murmured calmly and shifted his eyes to the book in Sayuri's hands, which was indeed a bit stupid and trite, so there was no need for her to defend it.

"That's not what I meant…" She said in an even lower voice and watched Sasuke close his eyes briefly and take a deep breath. Then he moved his hand up to her shoulder and pulled her closer to him, before he captured her lips in a long, soft kiss.

"Let's go somewhere…" He breathed against her lips before he placed another light kiss on them.

"_Somewhere_…?" She asked, still a bit breathless and cupped a hand around his cheek, to keep some distance to him, so she could look into his eyes.

"Anywhere…" He shrugged and closed his eyes, before leaning his forehead against Sayuri's. "Just the two of us – let's go see the world…"

A surprised smile flitted over her face after his words. "That would be really nice, but it's a bit late now – our holidays are as good as over… Why didn't you say so when they got started?"

She pulled her head back a little and brushed her fingers over his cheek, but was then overcome by a faint suspicion. "You're not just saying this so you have an excuse not to go to Naruto's dinner-thing tonight, do you?"

"Tze… forget it." He hissed and lifted her up slightly and not exactly gently before he got up from the armchair and left the room, without saying anything else.

Sayuri kept staring at the door he had just walked out through, again feeling like she had missed the point and had just said something incredibly stupid…

…

…

Later that day, as the sun was only beginning to set and the narrow crescent of a moon already wandered to its place in the sky, Sayuri was standing in front of their shared wardrobe and searched for something to wear tonight. Usually she didn't need long for things like that, but right now she was with her mind somewhere else and just stared indecisively at the different shelves in her side of the wardrobe, all too aware that time was running out slowly but surely.

A weary sigh passed her lips and she ran a hand through her hair in frustration, feeling entirely overwhelmed by this simple task. Or more precisely so overwhelmed by this entire situation that she felt unable to cope with something as simple as selecting clothes.

And here she was standing now since at least ten, but probably even more minutes, only in her underwear, even though there was a wardrobe in front of her with tons of clothes inside.

Her eyes came upon the large mirror on the inside of the door and she looked at her reflection. She didn't really know if it was only the bad lighting, but she looked really exhausted, like eye rings with a bit of face underneath them. But that wasn't really surprising; she either slept too much or too little lately, but mostly the latter - just never in a healthy amount.

She opened a small drawer and took out a powder compact planning to cover up everything that might give away that something wasn't right. If all else failed she could still cover everything up with make up and at least pretend that everything was perfectly fine and maybe then even start believing that herself… But it was getting harder… She didn't think she could take it much longer if things would stay this way… At first she had told herself he's just had a bad day and as things hadn't changed then, she had been sure it was worse than she had thought and he was even having a bad week… but the week was almost over and still it didn't really get better… And what was worst about all this was that it wasn't even him who was inventing ever new excuses for his behaviour but her and she couldn't keep on doing so for much longer…

"Since when do you wear make-up?"

She froze on the spot after hearing this voice and shifted her gaze, searching for another reflection in the mirror, but seeing none.

"Since when are you standing there?" She countered and turned around to see Sasuke lean in the open doorway, with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Long enough to think you have quite some issues… so?" He raised an eyebrow expectantly and scrutinized the frowning girl in front of him closely.

"Don't know…" She sighed and slouched her shoulders. "I'm just sick and tired of people always telling me I look sick… and tired…" She rolled her eyes about her own witty choice of words and turned back to the wardrobe to put the powder away again.

"You're ready?" She asked and gazed over her shoulder, seeing Sasuke nod his head in a not exactly enthusiastic manner. "Good… we should really hurry or we'll be late…" She sighed and roamed her eyes through the room in a disoriented manner.

"You're planning on going like that?" Sasuke was now behind her and wrapped his arms around her torso, resting his chin on her shoulder to look at their reflection in the large mirror.

"Oh! Of course not!" She gasped and tried to wriggle herself out of his embrace, but he only tightened his grip on her, making sure she wouldn't be able to escape him.

"Stop it – we're supposed to meet the others in fifteen minutes and I'm not even dressed yet." She exclaimed in a breathless voice and tried to move Sasuke's hands away from her, but he wouldn't let her.

"So we'll be late…" He shrugged her off and now turned her around in his arms, looking at her with a decisive face.

"I so knew you'd try to talk yourself out of this." Sayuri pouted and shot an irritated look at the dark-haired man. "We _won't_ be late – at least not later than we already are…"

A sceptical snort was all she got for a reply, before Sasuke leaned his head down and began placing light kisses behind her ear and moved slowly, almost agonizingly slowly down the side of her neck.

"Let's… just… stay… here" He breathed between some kisses and loosened his grip a bit further as he felt her resistance crumble.

"N-no." She shook her head vehemently, trying to stay focussed on reality and ignore what he was doing there, but he really didn't make it easy…

"You said… yourself… you'd go… remember…?" She stammered and closed her eyes while a languorous moan escaped her lips and caused Sasuke to smirk smugly, while she would have best liked to kick herself.

"Enough now." She said with as much determination as she could come up with, but sucked in her breath sharply as the Uchiha-heir began sucking at her neck and therewith narrowed down her choice of clothes drastically.

"So I lied…"

"W-what? - No." She shook her head vehemently – trying to forget he had just said that.

He couldn't do that… He couldn't just say he lied. Say he was a liar. All this time her defences had been based on his truthfulness. If she hadn't been able to believe that he didn't lie to her, things would be much different now. She wouldn't have been able to cope with this entire situation when she couldn't have relied on his sincerity – when she would have doubted his words whenever he had told her that nothing was wrong. He couldn't just take this tiny bit of security from her. How could she possibly try to find sense in all this and carry on defending him, when everything might have just as well been a lie? When they might have been nothing but a lie?

Again it felt like all her organs would contract and it somehow felt like maybe her lungs were too small or her heart too weak and there was only ice-water pumping through her veins and still he kept on planting kisses on her milky white skin, completely unaware of what he was doing to her…

She was just about to protest again, when Sasuke crushed his lips to hers with so much force that she was pushed backwards against the wardrobe. She could feel the edges of the different shelves press into her back roughly, the wood hard against her spine.

"That hurts." Sayuri whimpered as she finally managed to free her lips from his and now Sasuke let out an annoyed sound.

"You're annoying…" He scowled at her and finally lowered his arms, while a hurt expression found its way onto Sayuri's face.

"Thanks a lot…" She tried to act tough and turned around to the wardrobe again, searching for a turtleneck pullover among the piles of clothes in front of her, while she concentrated on forcing back all her emotions.

The Uchiha kept standing behind her, his eyes fixed on the two pale-red streaks on her back, until his sight was blocked by the black sweater she put on.

"Sayuri…" He sighed as she still hadn't turned around to him after having put on a pair of jeans and therefore stepped behind her and bowed down a bit so that his cheek was touching hers.

"Look at me." He whispered and nudged her earlobe with his nose and now Sayuri turned around to him and gazed at him with an inscrutable expression. Noticed the now softer look in his eyes, the slight curve of his lips, his marble-like skin and then recalled his relentless gaze, the cold, harsh voice in which he uttered words that hurt so much more than his rough touch ever could…

She parted her lips slightly as something began gathering in her throat and kept staring at the dark-haired man, who now raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner.

She would have best liked to scream at him to tell her he loved her, but she couldn't, even though she was sure he did… In spite of everything that had happened lately and even though neither of them had ever said so… She would tell him, but she was sure that once the words had passed her lips, she would expect him to tell her so too, even though she knew he just wouldn't or maybe even couldn't say that, which didn't mean he didn't – but knowing this wouldn't keep it from hurting – there was nothing more painful than laying your heart open to someone and not getting the proper reaction to it…

"Can we go now?" She asked in a hollow voice and stared at his chin, seeing it move down a little as he nodded his head, but missed the unenthusiastic frown on his face.

…

…

Twenty minutes later they finally reached the restaurant they were meeting at. Unwilling to start this night with a bad mood, Sayuri had tried her best to act cheerful and just forget about Sasuke's words for the moment. Once they had left the house she had linked her arms with his, not really caring if he wanted that or not, but it had been okay – at least at the beginning… He had even pulled her closer and kissed her on her hair, like everything was perfectly fine, like they were both happy, but once they had left behind the Uchiha-compound his mood had changed somewhat and he seemed to have become tenser and tenser with every step they took away from his home, until his grip had become so tight, that she had felt like she was in a vice and had pulled her arm away then.

A noisy buzz of voices and clattering and a thick unpleasant cloud of various, incompatible smells of food rolled over them, as they stepped into the restaurant and found it full of people already, even though they couldn't see their friends from where they were standing.

First they walked to the coat rack to hang up their jackets and as Sayuri turned back around to her boyfriend, she still found him look so uncommonly tense and had no idea what to make of that…

"You know, we don't have to stay too long if you don't like it…" She murmured in a muted voice and stared into Sasuke's dark eyes, but they seemed so very cold, maybe even angry and she couldn't keep an uneasy feeling from spreading through her. He didn't react in any kind to her peace offer and started walking around the half-wall which served as a cloakroom and found their friends sitting at a long table on the other side of it.

"Finally!" Naruto exclaimed noisily as he caught sight of his two team-mates. "What is so hard to understand about _'we meet at eight o'clock'_ huh?

"Sorry…" Sayuri apologized on behalf of the two of them and roamed her grey blue eyes over the table. They weren't exactly many yet… Naruto was sitting at the head of the table, with Sakura to his right and Hinata to his left, who was sitting beside her cousin and then Choji and Shikamaru were sitting on Sakura's side of the table as well.

Sasuke put a hand on her back and pushed her forwards slightly, so she'd sit down next to Shikamaru rather than Neji, while he sat down next to her at the outer edge of the table, which meant that he wasn't in danger of having a direct table neighbour other than her.

The table was covered with various plates filled with vegetables or some with raw meat and there was a little grill on the table, with some steaming meat chips roasting on them and emitting a not really appetizing smell, like a mixture of something raw and stagnant water and then there was also a bit of a fishy stench mixed into it, so it was really far from smelling pleasant and Sayuri could actually feel her stomach turn by the mere thought of eating something now.

"C'mon – don't just sit there! Have a drink, have something to eat – just don't forget that everyone pays their own bill – or someone else's if they like to…" Naruto winked at them before he started chatting to Sakura, while Hinata looked a bit unhappy about that, but didn't do anything to bring herself into the focus of attention.

"Sorry we're late!" They heard a loud female voice and as they turned around to it, they could see Ino and Kiba stand in a half embrace at the end of the table.

"But Kiba took so long to get ready…" She giggled, while a disbelieving grimace appeared on the Inuzuka's face.

"Me?" He pointed at his chest. "I wasn't the one who spent hours doing his hair."

"Well, everyone sees that – no need to point that out…" Ino moved a step away from him and crossed her arms in front of her chest, while regarding her boyfriend with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm a natural beauty – there's no need for me to spend all my money on stupid cosmetic products." He countered smugly and ran a hand through his hair pointedly, earning him a nudge in the ribs by the blonde woman, which caused him to grin widely. Ino sat down on the carpeted floor next to Neji and was at once joined by her boyfriend who then put an arm around her shoulders.

This wasn't good. Now they were sitting face-to-face with the super-couple and from how Sasuke looked right now, she was sure that he was struggling hard not to get up and walk out already… But they really were annoying, most of the time… It was a love-hate between the two of them – they always fought, then made up and then fought again and they didn't seem to mind whether they did so behind closed doors or in public. They've even had some really, really big arguments right on the market place and stood there and were screaming at each other, while a small group of bystanders had already gathered around them and watched with great interest how they broke up with each other. They were a couple now about as long as she and Sasuke were – only that there have been about five or six breaks in their relationship – some even as long as an entire week, but after that they were always inseparable again. They probably needed all the drama – Ino surely did and since Kiba went along with it, he apparently didn't have problems with it either – unlike some other people here, they were really made for each other…

"Guess we are complete then." Their host grinned and lined up ten cups in front of him, which he then started to fill with Sake.

"To a great night with great people!" He exclaimed once he had distributed the cups among everyone and somehow he sounded like he was drunk already…

The people around him raised their drinks and then started sipping at them, while Naruto drained his entirely, displaying a weird affinity for alcohol ever since that festival last year.

"Woah the food looks really great… I'd best like to eat it all!" Ino beamed and let her eyes wander over the whole table.

"Right… and then I'll end up as the one who has to buy you a new scale because yours is '_defect'_…" Kiba made little quotation marks and now found himself in the focus of Ino's deadly glare.

"You're saying I'm vain?" Ino raised an eyebrow and kept scowling at the dark-haired man, who had a hard time to bite back the grin that so stubbornly tried to manifest on his face.

"Pfft – you and vain…" He rolled his eyes and moved his head along with them in a little arc and finally gave in to the grin, as he was sure his girlfriend couldn't see it, but he wasn't too successful.

"Tze… so what – if you'd be a little vainer, too, you wouldn't have trouble with fleas…" Ino countered and stuck out her tongue and now the other people at the table started laughing while Kiba's face took on a slightly reddish colour.

"You have fleas?" Shikamaru nearly spat out his food and had a hard time to stop laughing, about this far too clichéd piece of information.

"No, I don't…" Kiba sulked and drained his Sake entirely, obviously the loser of this round.

"Helloo… my glass is empty – what kind of a host are you?" He wiggled his glass in the air and turned to Naruto, apparently trying to make up for his defeat by acting out the macho.

"There you go." The blonde said after having filled Kiba's as well as his own cup again. "Anyone else?"

Sayuri glanced over to Sasuke and realized that his cup was empty as well and he stared at it with pretty much the same intensity as he had done back then, so she shoved her own, still half-full cup to him and watched him take it without even looking at her and drain it right away just like he must have done with the other one… As it seemed it wasn't only Naruto who had developed an affinity for alcohol… And she really didn't like this change in his behaviour – especially not in combination with the rest of it…

"We should really do something together more often…" She was ripped out of her thoughts by Ino and now managed to tear her eyes away from the two empty cups and looked at the blonde woman, who regarded her with a light frown on her face.

"What do you mean?" Sayuri asked in a quiet voice, not even sure if she had heard her correctly since she had been spacing out a little…

"Well… just something… like going into a restaurant or a cinema…"

"But… aren't we in a restaurant right now?"

"Yes…But I mean the four of us – it's more fun to do something with other couples – don't you think? Then you don't have to be considerate that you don't exclude someone… you know what I mean?" Ino sighed, like the mere thought of how troublesome that is was troublesome itself…

"I don't know… a little maybe…" Sayuri murmured, giving her at least a bit of agreement rather than telling her she had a screw loose… However now she understood why she was talking with her, rather than with Sakura, apart from the fact that they were sitting across from each other, but usually the Yamanaka didn't really have problems with screaming over the whole table if necessary, so that didn't really count…

A beaming smile flashed over Ino's face after her words, but then she cast a sharp glance to the side as Kiba filled his cup again.

"Hey – don't you think you have enough by now." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and frowned at the Inuzuka.

"No." He merely shrugged and was just about to take his Sake, when Ino snatched it from under his nose and held it as far away from him as she could manage.

"Ino – I'm telling you give it back." He barked, but Ino only raised an eyebrow and cast a challenging look at him.

"Give it - okay – one… … two… …" He looked at her with a stern face, still with his hands reached out to hers, but the moment he was just about to move his lips to a '_three',_ Ino raised the cup to her mouth, but the second the first drop only touched her tongue Kiba tackled her down and she spat out most of the Sake again and started coughing. Then, only a second later they were both lying on the floor and it looked as if Kiba was trying to eat her alive.

The other people at the table – those they had apparently forgotten about – looked at them with disgusted expressions – they were like a car accident, you just can't help but to stare, no matter how ugly it might be… And it looked really gross what they were doing there and Sayuri wondered if they looked like that, too when they were making out, but then Kiba licked across Ino's face and earned a high pitched '_Yuck'_ in response and after that she was convinced that they didn't look like feasting animals, or at least wanted to believe so…

Now at the latest everyone managed to look away and Naruto acted as an all-round entertainer for the entire table, speaking loud enough to drown out their noises…

"Geez… haven't seen you guys in ages, what have you been doing the entire time?" The Uzumaki called across the table, obviously addressing Sasuke and Sayuri.

"Uhm… you know… this and that…" The violet-haired girl murmured and couldn't help but to move her arm towards her nose every now and then, trying to block out these smells, because she doubted that she'd be able to eat anything otherwise…

"Aha-aha…" Naruto nodded his head knowingly with his arms crossed in front of his chest, before he looked up again and regarded the Uchiha through narrowed eyes. "Hey you know what? – I'm doing some _really_ special training at the moment-"

Here both Sasuke and Sayuri scrunched their noses lightly, remembering the last occasion the talk had come to '_special training'_…

"Just give me a week or two and I'll be able to beat you with my hands tied to my back, believe it!" Naruto grinned proudly and crossed his arms behind his head, before he added: "Hey! What was about your last mission anyway, huh? I've heard quite some rumours…"

Now (nearly) everyone's attention was focused on the dark-haired man – as it seemed it had really gotten around that he had broken up his mission.

"Mind your own business…" Sasuke hissed without bothering to look at anyone who didn't happen to be shaped like a glass and his rude response dampened the general mood a little…

"Teme! I'm just trying to do some small talk – what's with your attitude?" The blonde screeched and pointed at his team-mate, who still didn't deign to look at him.

Sayuri cast an anxious side-glance at the Uchiha and noticed again just how very tense he looked. His face was entirely blank though, but over the time she had learned to see a little something in it, just some tiny alterations in his mimic and at the moment it clearly opted for tension, maybe even anger…

She really hoped he'd keep quiet now, before things would get even worse, but in case he wouldn't she'd have to come up with something to divert the attention from him. Maybe just starting a conversation about who knows what, but since she didn't know herself, that could become pretty hard… she wasn't a good speaker… she could just vomit on the table then – that would definitely distract the attention from him, but then she'd have spoiled everyone's night, so she wouldn't really make anything better, which didn't change anything about the fact that she really felt nauseous right now…

"Phew." They heard Kiba sigh, before he rose up again, directly copied by a giggling Ino – apparently they had gnawed away every bit of meat from each other's bones and were now ready to join the conversation again. If that was really so good or not was arguable, but at least everyone was looking at them now, so that was definitely a positive thing…

Kiba at once asked for a new round of Sake and so they began drinking again, while Choji made sure to use the tiny bit of distraction to snatch all the meat from the grill and was mindful to destroy every bit of evidence of his dark deed before anyone would notice.

…

…


	18. Changes part 2

_Hey everyone! _

_I'm going on holiday for nearly two weeks, so there won't be any update next weekend. Sorry about that. Hope you like this chapter though =)_

**18 .Changes part 2**

Not even an hour later the mood was really exuberant again and everyone seemed to have forgotten the slightly clumsy start of this evening and was now engaged in various little conversations.

Sayuri had used the chance to go to the bathroom, because she could barely stand the atmosphere in the restaurant any longer. It was so terribly hot because of the grill, which happened to stand right in front of her and then of course these smells… Therefore she had fled as soon as there'd been a chance, actually meaning to splash cold water into her face, but then she remembered right in time that she was wearing make up and cursed herself for it. Therefore she left it at letting the ice-cold water run over her wrists and then went to the open window and stood there, gasping like an asthmatic, trying to inhale as much of the cool night air as possible.

This wasn't about the food, or the smells or anything; at least she was quite sure that it wasn't… It rather felt like a panic attack. Just a tiny, little, non-severe, non-serious sort of panic-attack-thingy. She didn't really have first-hand experience with that, but she had often seen people in the hospital suffer from it and well, she definitely looked and above all sounded like one of them. Her breath came really quick and deep and yet it didn't help anything and it felt like her lungs would cave in because of the enormous, but fruitless effort to fill with air.

And the funny thing about that was that she knew this wasn't really happening. She knew that she was breathing, she knew that her lungs were full of oxygen and she knew that she wasn't choking and yet she did – choking without dying from asphyxiation.

It had to be a panic attack. The symptoms would fit. That urge to flee, the stifling tightness in her chest, her breathing and then that nauseous feeling. She suppressed all these feelings for so long and now she had fled to the bathroom, because she had been afraid she'd just burst. She was a ticking time bomb, that's why she had come here, to give in to these feelings before it would be too late and they would see her and because she had meant to give in, it had really happened and all these bottled up emotions had surged out from one second to the next.

What if anyone saw her now? She was in a public bathroom, someone could come in at any second and she stood here like a shivering wreck, gasping for all it was worth. She had to get a grip on herself again and she actually managed to…

She kept repeating the word '_panic attack'_ in her head and thought just how very ridiculous that was. They had a few problems and she went panicking right away, her brain sending _I'm-going-to-die_- signals to her entire body. Knowing that this wasn't true when her lungs still felt like they would collapse and her chest seemed ready to snap into pieces, was nearly comical. If she wouldn't feel so miserable still, she'd probably start laughing; a high-pitched, hysterical laugh and in case someone would hear her, he'd at once have her locked up in a mental institution, so feeling miserable was probably a good thing at the moment. She was being smothered by her own thoughts and nearly fell for that. Just remarkable what an influence the mind had on the body…

It really helped to stultify this whole thing. Much more than telling herself everything will be fine would have…

After a couple of minutes she managed to calm down again and thought she looked about the same way as before – no visible traces of her… well… _discomfiture_… so she went back to the others again and found them looking and sounding about the same way they had before she had left, so she was sure that she hadn't missed anything that was in any kind connected with her bad-tempered boyfriend.

Once she got back to the table, Sasuke moved a little to the side, to let her sit at her former place, but that was about everything he did to acknowledge her presence. No questioning look concerning her rather long absence, not a single comforting gesture that would indicate that he knew that something wasn't right, that she wasn't feeling too well, just nothing…

Ino on the other hand eyed her very closely as she knelt down on the floor and once Sayuri looked at her as well she leaned a bit over the table and motioned her to do so, too.

"Is he always like that…?" The Yamanaka asked in a muted voice and with the general noise level the others were pretty unlikely to overhear her, however the person who did hear her, wasn't really keen on this kind of conversation.

"I mean you two always seem so distant – if I didn't know you were a couple, I wouldn't have thought so from seeing you there."

And now she expected some kind of reply to that… She wasn't even sure if her voice worked alright and had no idea what she was supposed to say now. Nothing yet, apparently, since Ino just carried on talking herself.

"I've never even seen you kiss or at least hug or hold hands… But you really are a couple, aren't you?"

"Well… yes…" She nodded lightly, but didn't sound too convinced by her own words, but at least they were audible, her voice sounded kind of flimsy but apart from that it was okay. "We just try to keep our privacy…"

"I see…" Ino nodded knowingly and raised an eyebrow, before a mischievous expression appeared on her face. "So you kind of catch up on everything you miss out when you get home, huh?"

Here again Sayuri didn't know what to say, even though she was pretty sure she knew what Ino wanted to hear, which didn't mean she would tell her, so she just put on an artificial smile and shrugged, leaving the rest to her imagination.

"Ehe… I knew he'd be like this…" She grinned suggestively, obviously having drawn her own conclusions.

Sayuri used this chance to lean back again and looked into another direction, but the Yamanaka was apparently still not done.

"Oh! Does yours always do some weird poses in front of the mirror, as well? Like flexing muscles and so on…?" Ino asked in a much louder voice now, with her eyes sparkling. "I once saw him and he told me every man would do so, but I don't really believe that…"

_Yours_. She was talking about them like they were some kind of pets, okay, with _hers_ that wasn't even so very devious admittedly, but still this possessive marker seemed pretty much out of place here.

"Uhm… you know that they can hear us… don't you?" Sayuri asked hesitantly and cast an uneasy side-glance at the man next to her, who didn't look like he was even listening though, he was only biding his time here and didn't even try to have at least an agreeable time.

"Yes, _precious_…" Kiba pulled his girlfriend closer to him and looked down at her with a raised eyebrow.

"You know that we can hear you, don't you?" He smirked and placed a long kiss right under her ear.

"Ehe…" She pulled away from him and once again an excited look appeared on her face. "Oh and he always drools in his sleep. Really gross…"

"Hey!" Kiba stared at her with an upset expression, before he pulled himself together and countered: "Tze – at least I'm not grunting like a pi-"

"Like a WHAT?" Ino glared at him, with a dangerously throbbing vein in her temple.

"Ehm…" Kiba held up his hands soothingly and wore an uneasy smile on his face, "Like a pi-; a pi-; a pi-rincess – Yes, a gorgeous pirincess."

"_Pirincess_?" Ino eyed him sceptically, but at least that vein had vanished again, which was probably a good sign.

"Puh… Don't tell me you've never heard of pirincesses?" The Inuzuka shook his head and gazed across the room nervously, still with that artificial smile. "They're like princesses, just far more beautiful, because… well… they look a bit like pixies, you know, they are so cute and elfin – and they can eat all the pizza in the world without gaining a gram of fat – which is why they are called _pi-rincesses_."

"Tze… You're silly." Ino giggled and nudged him playfully, while Kiba leaned closer to her and whispered.

"And you are beautiful."

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

They both looked deep into each others eyes before they leaned closer and kissed, but softly this time…

Sayuri watched the two of them with a happy smile on her face. Annoying as they might be, they were also cute together. She didn't know if it was simply because of seeing how close they were to each other, or because of hearing them say that they loved each other, but somehow Sayuri wanted to be near Sasuke, now… Wanted to feel his warmth, hear him say all these things she couldn't get herself to believe anyway, but still wanted to hear… Just wanted to be at least a tiny bit like them as well…

She moved a bit to the side so she could lean at Sasuke's shoulder, but once she did, he bent forwards and gripped for his glass, pushing her away slightly with this action.

She was sure that's why he had done it. He could perfectly well reach his glass from where he was sitting, so there had been no need for him to lean to the front. He must have done it to get some space to her, even though she didn't really understand it… they weren't like Ino and Kiba in public, but up to now he's never really had a problem with at least holding her hand or putting an arm around her… but she didn't understand him in general at the moment… Before they had come here, she's had problems in keeping him away from her and now it was the opposite. Sometimes she really wished they'd be a bit more like them. Like Ino and Kiba or any of the other couples, who didn't have problems with showing their affection, but they weren't and that was okay - she wouldn't want to trade what they had for anything else… It was just really hard at the moment…

"We'll leave." Sasuke said suddenly and ripped her out of her thoughts. Slightly startled she turned her face towards his and even though she really did want to go right now, she was also sad about it – she had really looked forward to this evening, but now it hadn't quite gone that well, which was really a pity…

"Mmm-hmm." She nodded unhappily and watched him rise to his feet, before she did so, too.

"Thanks for inviting us – it was a really nice night." Sayuri turned to their host, who didn't seem to realize what her words meant and just looked at them with a confused face.

"You really want to leave already?" Neji asked in an emphatic tone and there was even some kind of alarmed expression on his face. They had hardly talked tonight and not only because they were quite far away from each other, but still she had often seen him look at her, like he was trying to ask her something via telekinesis, but she hadn't even tried to unravel the questions in his eyes and had drawn up all her shields to avoid them.

"Yes." Sayuri nodded and folded her hands in front of her, trying hard to smile convincingly.

"Doesn't really look that way…" The young Jounin raised an eyebrow and eyed her as well as the Uchiha with a sceptical look.

"No one is talking to you, Hyuga." Sasuke hissed and glared at the brown-haired man, who now looked really angry as well.

"Have fun tonight, bye." Sayuri waved at them and shot a pleading look at Neji, hoping he'd just keep quiet, but just in case she gripped for Sasuke's arm and pushed him out and he didn't really offer any resistance, but actually turned the tables so that he ended up pulling her with him.

They walked to the hallstand and searched for their coats among the various other ones, which took quite some time. While Sayuri slid into hers, she picked up Ino's voice from right behind the thin wall she was standing in front and really wished she hadn't…

"_What was with them? Seemed a bit short of domestic bliss, if you ask me…"_

She couldn't have put it any more precisely. They were having quite some problems. Apparently it was even so bad that they couldn't even spend two or three hours among other people without them noticing it.

A weary sigh escaped her lips and she looked with a saddened face at Sasuke, who had likewise overheard their conversation. He held her gaze, but didn't say anything, even though it somehow seemed like he wanted to, but then they both looked down, almost at the same time and paid their share of the buffet before leaving the restaurant.

They didn't exchange a single word on their entire way home and walked with enough space to each other that a third person could have easily fitted between them.

They walked into the house like they were strangers and Sayuri went upstairs at once, too busy with telling herself that crying wouldn't change anything to notice where Sasuke had gone to.

She went into the bathroom and stepped right into the shower, planning to wash off all these sickening smells, which had soaked through to her skin. It would have been easy to give in to these tears now, she was surrounded by water and the noise of it would be sufficient to cover her sobs, but she was sure that once she got started she wouldn't be able to stop and further more if she started crying now, it would mean she'd give up and that just wasn't acceptable… not yet…

It really wasn't easy to come up with enough motivation to step out of the shower and leave behind the pleasantly warm atmosphere, especially not with the prospect of the icy one that was awaiting her… But since she didn't plan on standing here forever, she turned the water to its coldest setting and then nearly jumped out of the shower – that little trick always did the job.

After brushing her teeth she went into the bedroom and put on a long white shirt, before she crawled into the cold bed and closed her eyes, after having cast a wistful look at the empty space next to her.

Against expectation she fell asleep after hardly more than a couple of minutes, not really a deep sleep though, more like a light slumber, in which she was still aware of everything surrounding her; all the noises, changes in light, but couldn't quite tell if it was in reality or in her dream…

After quite some time she heard the soft creak of the door, followed by that of foot-steps and then the rustling of clothes. Slowly she swam upwards and eventually broke though the surface of the turbid sea of sleep. Her eyes fluttered lightly, before she opened them and stared at the now again closed door, while she noticed how the blanket was lifted up, as Sasuke lay down on his side of the bed.

Even though it was close to new moon, which meant there was only a narrow crescent in the sky, the bedroom was bathed in its pale light, so Sayuri had no problems with reading the clock on the night table right next to her. Nearly two hours had passed since they had come back and she had no idea where he had been in that time, but even under the blanket he was radiating such a coldness, that she figured he might have been outside for who knows what reason, or might have spend some time in the fridge maybe, whyever he should do that…

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again, pretending to be asleep, but then she felt Sasuke's cold hands on her hips and next second he had moved closer to her so that her back was leaning against his torso, his likewise cold knees were in the hollow of hers and he buried his face in the crook of her neck, kissing her like nothing had happened. Like he hadn't pushed her away before – like this whole evening, the whole last week hadn't happened.

It was hard not to flinch under his cold touch, but she somehow managed, still busy pretending she was asleep, pretending she was made from stone and didn't feel him.

Didn't feel his warm breath against the back of her neck.

Didn't feel his cold hands slide along her thighs.

Didn't feel the goosebumps crawl over her entire skin.

Didn't feel the warmth spreading through her body when actually she was freezing.

It was a physical reaction. She wasn't in the mood for anything of that sort and yet she could feel her heartbeat quicken and her breath coming shallower as he brought his hand to the inside of her thigh, moving it down until he reached her knee and pulled her around.

There was no point in fighting him, so she allowed him to roll her over until she lay flat on her back, but kept her face turned away from him, her eyes focussed on the silver-coated doorknob, which was reflecting the pale moonlight.

She tried to become one with the mattress, but the deep heaving of her chest was easily visible through her thin shirt and the blanket was somewhere else as well, so there wasn't much she could hide from his eyes and she had never felt so naked before. It felt like she was at his mercy… she was vulnerable, submissive, docile, powerless, helpless – all the things she didn't want to be – just pathetic… and he… he seemed like a predator, playing with his prey. She was at the mercy of his whims, like she was only there to satisfy his needs, no matter if he needed someone to love, someone to hate, someone to sleep with, someone to scream at – she had become the outlet for his every urge.

He propped himself up on his elbow and gazed down at the profile of her face, before he lowered his head again and lazily dragged his lips along the side of her neck, while one of his hands slowly wandered across her shirt, pushing it up until her smooth stomach was visible, before he trailed his thumb and forefinger along the hem of her panties.

"How come you want to touch me again?" Sayuri asked resentfully, still with her face turned away from him.

Pretending to be asleep and just ignoring him, was really not an option with him touching her like this, so she dropped that strategy before she'd get so aroused that she'd end up with giving in to him, after all…

Sasuke lifted his head again and stared at what little he could see of her face, resting his hand on her abdomen.

"What is it now?" He sighed in annoyance and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"…Earlier you backed away when I just came closer to you and now… so what is different?" The violet-haired girl enquired in a quiet and yet snappish voice, just feeling tired of all the to and fro lately.

"I don't have any idea what you are talking about."

"Yeah, right…" She puffed sarcastically, her voice a little bit shaky.

"Look at me." He murmured in a low voice, but Sayuri wasn't in the least inclined to follow his request and kept on staring stubbornly at the doorknob.

"Stop acting like a child." He rolled his eyes and even though Sayuri knew that he was right and that she really was acting childish, she just couldn't get herself to turn around to him - to look into his eyes and search for the answers his lips wouldn't give away, find something she might not want to see… It was the only defence she had right now, something to ensure that she wouldn't get weak right away.

"What's your problem?" He enquired in a blank voice and Sayuri really didn't know if she should laugh or cry now…

"Tze…" She hissed and shook her head in disbelief, not even knowing where to start listing all the problems _they_ were having at the moment…

"Sayuri…" He murmured impatiently and glared at the back of her head, before he gripped her chin and pulled it back, forcing her to look into his cold eyes.

She swallowed hard and even though she did feel kind of intimidated, she was determined not to show it… but he was just so unpredictable lately, like a completely different person and nothing he did could possibly surprise her. Even if he now just leaned down and gave her a clout on the head, it wouldn't really surprise her and it was this unpredictability that was killing her…

"Let go." She said in a firm voice and pushed his hand away from her chin, but he then gripped for her wrists and pushed them into the pillow right next to her face, while leaning his upper body over hers, his face only far enough away from hers that her sight of it wasn't blurred.

He loved this pose. Keeping her pinned down underneath him, making her look even smaller and weaker than she was. Seeming far more powerful and dominant the way he leaned over her. His arms looking so strong when he held her down, his face resolute; too aware of his imperious position, aware that it only took one look of his cold black eyes to get whatever he wanted – appearing like he would take it otherwise, in case she should refuse to give it to him. And yet, in spite of all this she wasn't scared… not with that hint of anxiety in his eyes, that forlorn gleam he tried so hard to hide underneath this furious mask.

"You want me to be like that guy?" His voice sounded really angry now, his features unforgiving and even though it was really uncomfortable lying there, immobilized by his weight, Sayuri didn't try to push him away and was too occupied with holding his gaze, even though she could barely stand looking into his cold and hard eyes.

"You want me to lick your face and tell you you're a fucking pirincess?" He hissed and narrowed his eyes.

"I just want you to pay attention to me and not act like I had the pest." Sayuri replied, her voice much shakier than she would have liked.

"I only want you to be yourself again…" She whispered and gazed to the side again, while sucking in her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. It was just so much harder to keep your composure, with other people around – especially when you were among the very reason which made you afraid of losing it in the first place…

"You're the one who is ignoring me." He let go of her wrists now and cupped a hand around her cheek, pushing it into his direction again, just much lighter than before and his face didn't look that angry any longer either – just blank and completely indifferent, even that tiny hint of desperation or uneasiness was gone.

"Stop that…" She shook her head uneasily and watched Sasuke heave an annoyed sigh.

"Stop what?" He rolled his eyes and pushed his upper body up, finally relieving her of his weight.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about so stop acting like you wouldn't." She murmured and scrutinized him closely, but as she saw how he opened his lips a little, probably meaning to say something, she interrupted him and added: "I know that something is wrong. Do you think I wouldn't see that? But I can't help you if you don't tell me what it is… We're a couple, right? We're supposed to go through these things together… You can tell me anything, really…"

She gazed up at him, with what she wanted to be a trustworthy expression; she wanted him to know that things could become okay again, no matter what happened, that she wouldn't judge him and stick to him regardless of the circumstances… After all, there was probably nothing he could possibly do wrong; she had long come to that discovery… When he left them behind, abandoned all his friends to seek new powers, it had been okay. When he locked her in here and smothered her with his silence, it had been okay. When he treated her like crap, until she sat in front of the wardrobe and started packing her things, it had been okay. And it wasn't just her; he seemed to occupy a role that entailed an increased amount of liberties. He could pretty much do whatever he wanted and everyone forgave him, regardless of what it was. So who was she to break that cycle? To oppose these tacit rules of his indefeasibility?

"… You have far too much imagination…" He murmured after quite some time and there was again that melancholic look in his eyes, but that didn't really make things better at the moment.

"We have quite some problems, don't we…?" She whispered the words very carefully and slowly; feeling her tongue turn to lead, with the direction this conversation was taking, but she was determined to stay strong and get this over with. Therefore she leaned upwards, closer to him, abandoning her submissive role and gazed deep into his eyes, wanting to dive into them to seek for the remainders of all the affection they used to hold for her and drown in these bitter-sweet memories of a better time. "Do you even want me anymore…? – If so, then let me know, but if not… … I can go…"

This was the hardest part; leaving it to him to decide about them. She didn't want to leave him, but where was the point in staying when his feelings towards her had changed – lessoned – vanished… Who knew? She certainly didn't, but if he really didn't want her any longer, if she was only wasting her time here and things would from now on stay the way they were, then she might as well leave.

"Is that what you want? You want to leave?" He hissed in a callous voice and narrowed his eyes into slits, his bitter glare knotting her throat.

"O-of course not!" She shook her head and hesitantly brought a hand up to his cheek, trying to wipe that cruel expression off his face, but somehow didn't dare to touch his skin.

"I don't… I… I just don't think I can go through this any longer… I couldn't handle your looking at me with loathing again…" She lowered her head in frustration and dropped her hand back onto the mattress. Actually this was the perfect time to tell him what she felt for him – maybe not the situation in which she would have pictured to tell him so, but maybe it would make things better, however her voice just wouldn't go along with it – yet another thing that didn't work the way she wanted it to…

"Just answer the question…" Her eyes slowly moved up to his again and that hostile look had vanished from his face, which made it easier to hold the eye-contact as she waited for him to finally reply. But he was taking so damn long for his answer and in consideration of the situation you could see that as an answer in itself. She would have wanted him to say something like '_stop being stupid'_, or anything of that sort and especially without having to think about it, but instead he was looking at her with this somewhat troubled expression, taking so unbearably long to think about a question he could answer with a simple yes or no.

She slowly sank back into the pillow as the suspense became too much to bear, and she could already feel the tears trying their best to break through the dam she had constructed to keep them at bay.

"How could I not want you…?" He finally replied, but his voice sounded so bitter, the words coming out like venom he had to rid himself off, which diminished the actually positive message of what he had said. "There wouldn't be any problems if you'd stop searching for them."

"How can you still deny it?" She whined and shook her head, trying her best not to start crying, or even blink, just nothing that might make her miss something about his face, some of these little, fleeting alterations that gave away his feelings. His accusation was just ridiculous. She was the one who closed her eyes to just about everything he ever did, so how could he seriously accuse her of searching for problems? Blame her for what was happening?

"You want to do something for me? - We won't see each other for a couple of days, so stop talking…" He sighed and was just about to lean in and kiss her, when Sayuri rolled to the side again, her face directed at the closed door.

"… Maybe it's good that you leave…" She whispered in a hollow voice and pulled her knees up to her chest, desperate to inhale all her limbs and become as small and rigid as possible, tough and hard like a stone, just untouchable, while her watery eyes were again fixed on the silver-glowing doorknob, whose edges blurred out and seemed to melt with the door.

Sasuke looked down at her for quite some time, unable to keep a distraught expression from flitting over his face, but it's not like she could see that, before he managed to recollect himself and lowered his head, pressing a long, rough kiss on the side of her face; a kiss that told her he was still denying that something wasn't right and tried to force her into believing so, too and then he rolled around as well, moving over to the spot, where he usually lay, lately…

…

…

The next day he was gone.

No goodbye.

No note.

Not even a single glance into her direction.

She hadn't slept that night; the third night in a row now (she didn't add these brief non-restorative naps to her count) and somehow she doubted that he had either or maybe it was just wishful thinking. But wouldn't it be comforting to think that you weren't the only one who had been kept awake by all these desperately screaming thoughts? That he was at least as affected, maybe even unsettled by what had happened the day before, as she was?

Sleep is only meant for happy people or for those who are so unhappy that they already surrendered. Those who already admitted defeat and see no use in the additional time a sleepless night provides.

She knew he wasn't happy; they were the same in that point and she just hoped that he hadn't given up yet… but the dark rings she was seeing under his eyes lately made her hope a little. They both looked that way, they were the eye-ring couple or something, but she'd rather belong to the category of rested happy ones with bright faces - the one they had been a part of before…

Even before the clock had started ringing, he had gotten up and turned it off, quietly, as if he could wake her otherwise.

She had watched him with her eyes closed, clumsily pretending to be asleep; listening to his movements, the rustling of his clothes, the creaking of the wardrobe door and again the rustling of clothes.

If she hadn't known that he was going on a mission, she would have been sure that he was trying to sneak out, move out, paradoxically leave behind the house which belonged to him and in which she didn't want to be anyway, and leave it to her by leaving her.

Only about three hours ago he packed his things and was gone.

No goodbye.

No note.

Not even a single glance into her direction.

Not even an object he liked to look at any longer. Just air or maybe an obstacle that kept him form using his bed fully. Something contagious and repellent that forced him to sleep at the very edge of the mattress.

But he wanted her.

"_How could I not want you?"_

Hard to believe how he could make something with an actually positive meaning sound so negative… like it was a curse; something he couldn't help, even though he clearly didn't want it. Like he apparently wanted her, but didn't want to want so… wherever the sense was in that… She didn't know, but it somehow seemed like he didn't either, and now he was gone and she was glad about it.

She needed a break from her being as a yoyo. Again an object – it seemed like she was either an object, a pet or merely air – just never really human; not his girlfriend any longer… Humans had needs and wants. They made demands and that was not acceptable. He was the only human being. The only one who made demands. The only one who had needs and wants, but at times kindly condescended to making you think you did, too. That it mattered what you thought, what you wanted, what you needed, but it only ever did in those rare occasions, when your concerns matched his.

But someone with a propensity for self-deception will do anything to deny that. Will waste his last breath on an _'I know you didn't mean it_…' People can't hurt you when you decide not to pay attention to the wounds they cause you. When you're wrapped in a plaster of made up defences, lies, fabrications – anything which prevents you from suffering the truth. Your mental self is bleeding, bones cracking with every step, breaking like all these little promises you try to feed yourself with, but you'd rather choke on your tears than admit to yourself that something was wrong; that you had a problem…

She had made that step, but as it seemed he was still seeking refuge in denial.

"_There wouldn't be any problems if you'd stop searching for them." _

She wasn't searching. Had never been searching, but after stumbling over reality, too often to keep on denying it's existence, it just had to break through to your brain after some time. There were splinters of truth all over her face and yet it had taken this long until some of them had managed to break through her skull and now see what she looked like: The eye rings were the most apparent sign, but the scars under her skin were just all the worse – so much damage done in a single week… maybe it really was good that he was gone now…

That gave her five days to heal – five days to lick her wounds, enough for the shallow ones to heal and maybe enough to discover that even the bigger ones weren't as grave as they appeared to be.

Maybe it would help… maybe he'd miss her, perhaps regret what he had done, have time to think about what this was about anyway and come back as the old one, his old self – the person that had literally forced her into falling in love with him and the person who wanted her, hopefully even loved her, without the bitter taste accompanying it…

It was just one shitty week. Just one. She couldn't seriously think of risking one year, an entire year in which they had been together – happy together – for one week that hadn't quite gone that well. She didn't want to be a quitter, one who ran away at the first signs of problems. It wasn't too late yet for forgiveness, not if he asked to be forgiven and really meant that… but if not… if not it would lead to the goodbye they hadn't exchanged today…

These thoughts were scaring her. The fact that there was a reason that made her think these thoughts scared her. It shouldn't be this way. None of all that happily-ever-after-crap prepared you for this. She felt like a non-swimmer, thrown in the deep end of a pool filled with relationship-problems, so much thicker than water… once your head got under the surface you were sure to drown, therefore she already tried to gather all the air she could, so that in case it came to the worst, she could at least delay the inevitable.

Unlike him, her holidays still lasted a further day and she really needed that – she badly needed some holidays from her holidays, or else Tsunade would just send her away again. But even though she might have some holidays from him now, she could unfortunately not take holidays from her thoughts, so she doubted the rest would be so much more restorative and relaxing than the first part.

She needed some time off from herself. She wanted something else – to see, to hear and to feel something entirely different. She wanted to escape herself. Escape everything that was even in the least related to her. Maybe seeing the world hadn't been that much of a bad idea after all. Once things had gotten a bit better, they could do so, or if not than she could do so by herself. She could just pack herself into a suitcase and wander the world as a faceless, carefree person; a girl without a worry in the world.

But before leaving for seeing the world, she'd take it slow and first leave this house to go back to her own place.

Her eyes were burning and it was hard to convince them to stay open, so she walked with half-shut eyes to the wardrobe. She gripped for her backpack and started packing her favourite clothes, or just those she would most likely wear in the next days. She still had enough things at home, but her favourites were here. After that she went down into the kitchen and also gathered everything that was easily perishable, chiefly because her own fridge was most likely empty, but even if not, definitely lacking any edible, non-rotten stuff.

She didn't need long to get ready and even before ten o'clock she was already on the streets, right on her way home. The sleeplessness, the worrying, her ridiculous panic attack she tried hard to forget, and all this thinking had left her drained, dulled. She walked slowly, pathetically, home, tripping over occasional cracks in the sidewalk. Somehow her condition made it much harder to defy gravity, or maybe not defy – it just made her aware of it. It was no longer natural, nothing that was just there and which she could handle without giving much thought to.

Everything seemed different, even what she saw… everything was just slightly off-colour. The air was heavier and all the noises seemed much duller, like in the last seconds of a dream, right before you wake up and it slowly yields to reality. So was this now reality slowly yielding to a dream…? Tired as she was it wouldn't be surprising. Her head was already drawn down to the pavement, searching for the cosiest spot, which would serve as a pillow, even though she still tried to fight it and was busy dragging her feet forward, over all the deep chasms in the pavement and the bag she was carrying with her, disturbed her sense of balance all the more, so she really had to pay attention to not tripping, stumbling or falling, not crashing against other people or just some obstacles someone had put in her way and then also finding her way back home – a prime example of multi tasking.

"Look who we've got here…"

She perceived a low, muffled voice and came to a stop, waiting a few seconds before she dared to turn her head up and look at the person in front of her.

"Neji?"

"You're actually outdoors – what happened?" The Hyuga asked with a sarcastic edge in his voice and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Oh, c'mon…" Sayuri sighed and ran a hand through her hair, really not feeling like arguing with Neji now. "We only saw each other yesterday, so don't act like it was something special."

"Tze… yesterday…" Neji narrowed his eyes and scrutinized her closely. "What was that anyway?"

"Nothing really… just had a little argument…" She murmured, regarding it as pointless to deny that and lowered her head slightly, again losing to gravity.

"_Argument_? Is that why you look like that now?"

"Look like what?" She sighed, forcing herself to look into Neji's pale eyes again. She could imagine what he would say now; she knew what she looked like – couple of the eye-rings and so on…

"Like you've cried the whole night and are about to keel over and I mean serious now." The irritated expression vanished from his face and was replaced by a concerned one. "Maybe you should sit down for a moment."

"I just want home…" She murmured in a barely audible voice, and somehow hearing those words made her feel bad, although she didn't know why, but her voice already sounded so resigning.

"_Home_? Isn't that where you come from?" Neji raised an eyebrow and slid his arm under hers, leading her up the street, so now she only had to concentrate on speaking and moving her feet.

"It is… kind of… I don't know…" She shook her head and shrugged lightly, but then stumbled against Neji's side.

"…sorry…" She murmured and straightened herself again, before she hunched her right shoulder and pressed her face into it to hide a yawn.

"Nevermind…" He said, still with that worried face. "So he's on a mission now…"

Sayuri looked up at him briefly, not really sure where he had gotten that from, but his voice sounded somewhat speculative, so she nodded her head and focussed her eyes on the street again.

"You think he'll finish this one for a change?" The Hyuga frowned at her, but there was something mocking about his voice and even the look on his face and this question didn't earn him anything but eye-rolling from the violet-haired girl.

"What was with that last one, anyway?"

Same as Naruto, he seemed pretty interested in what happened and she couldn't blame them for it, she would really like to know it too, but he just wouldn't tell…

"Since when do you care about what he's doing?" She avoided his question and received a cynical snort by the brown-haired man.

"I don't… but you look like a wreck and it's his fault-"

"It's not." She interrupted him and pulled her arm away from his. "I just don't sleep well lately – that has nothing to do with him." She lied and crossed her arms in front of her chest, acting stubborn. Actually Neji was one of her best friends and she could talk about nearly everything with him, but nearly everything didn't include anything that was even in the least related to Sasuke, but even if that wouldn't be the case, their problems were hardly anything that should concern anyone but the two of them.

"Tze… right…" The Hyuga-heir rolled his eyes and eyed the girl next to him sceptically. "We all saw how he treated you yesterday, so who are you trying to fool?"

"Pfft… I don't have to fool anyone, because it's no one else's business…"

"And now you're evading my question because you know I'm right."

"I'm not evading anything – Oh god not him…" She grimaced and put a hand to her forehead as she saw a white-haired man at the end of the street. As it seemed he had already spotted them, so it was too late for hiding and now his feet were carrying him relentlessly into their direction, his pointed teeth flashing in a wide grin.

"My, my – if that isn't my neighbour – long time no see Sayuri-chan…" He smirked and closed his eyes briefly, before opening them again and shooting a piercing gaze at the violet-haired girl, without paying any attention to the man beside her.

"Suigetsu…" She forced herself to smile at him and was kind of glad that he hadn't shown up a bit earlier, when they had still walked arm in arm, because she was sure that wouldn't have gone uncommented.

"You know… I've been wondering where you've been all week-"

"Tze – see?" Neji interrupted him and received an annoyed side-glance in return, whereas Suigetsu just carried on as if nothing had happened - he was quite picky when it came to the people he paid attention to and while Neji got off pretty well, she wasn't even nearly that lucky.

"I thought now that you had holidays we'd find some time for training, but as it seems you rather spend your time not answering the door or going eating with everyone without even asking me if I wanted to come too, which indeed I would have liked…" He said in a low voice, still with a wide, but not really earnest seeming grin on his face and his sharp violet eyes fixed on the medic-nin.

"Naruto was the one who planned everything – if you didn't get an invitation, you should turn to him." Neji answered on her behalf, but Suigetsu still acted like he was air and looked expectantly at the violet-haired girl, as if he wanted to hear it out of her mouth again.

"You know… excluding someone is really rude… same as breaking one's promises…"

"What _promises_? – I never promised you a thing." Sayuri frowned and scrunched her nose, really not understanding what he was talking about, but that ever-present grin on his face was beginning to annoy her.

"Oh, you did, but I wasn't talking about you here…" He winked at her, like it was some kind of inside-joke, but she couldn't remember being in on it.

As Suigetsu caught sight of her clueless expression, he began chuckling to himself and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"You know-" He began his third sentence with this phrase and caused Sayuri to roll her eyes in frustration.

"Why ask '_you know'_, when clearly I don't?" She interrupted him brusquely and with a snappish tone in her voice.

"Sheesh… calm down sunshine. What's with that face, eh? Where did that smile go?" He frowned at her and yet there was something amused about his face, completely unlike Neji's, which was again dominated by an anxious expression.

"Sorry… just short of sleep…" She sighed wearily and ran a hand through her long dark hair.

"That explains a lot then… You've been really going at it, eh?" The white haired-man leered at her and even though Sayuri knew exactly what he was hinting at, she was just too tired to blush, like she would have usually done and merely rolled her eyes.

"A lot to catch up on… no wonder you've shut yourself away, all this time…" He grinned, but didn't really get any reaction from his neighbour, whereas Neji looked slightly uncomfortable, the way she always did, when Suigetsu started all his doubletalk.

"And it's about high time you started filling that house; huge as it is you better start early or you'll get into time pressure."

"We're not planning on having a baby any time soon." She assured him in a calm, matter-of-fact tone that wouldn't leave any doubts about her seriousness and she would have best liked to pat herself on the back for this so very unusual degree of self-restraint and calmness, which was completely unlike her. From how things were going at the moment, she could be happy if their relationship would make it at all; family planning seemed so absurd just now, that she couldn't even get herself to giving Suigetsu one of her typical embarrassed reactions, which he so very much liked to see or rather cause.

"That's what you say, but I won't let my vision of tiny Sachia and little Riuke be ruined by your reluctance." He smirked as he mentioned his newest name suggestions (which weren't really better than the numerous other ones he had come up with) and now finally did get the reaction he had aimed for all the time.

"It's my good right to be reluctant, because we're talking about my body here. How come you're so keen on babies anyway? If you want one then have one yourself and stop talking like… like…" She stammered, so furious that she was at a loss of words.

"Like what?"

"Like… I don't know… It's just… well… in case it should ever, in the far away future really come to this, I wouldn't have to be afraid you'd sneak into our house and steal it, right?"

"Well… we'll see when the time has come…" He winked at her, but her face seemed frozen. "But first you'll have to work on yourselves, I guess – and not just on your negative attitude…"

"Just what are you talking about?" She grimaced, feeling her blood boil more and more with every second she had to stand here and talk to the Houzuki.

"Just saying… it came quite sudden, didn't it?" His eyes flashed cunningly and now there was something malicious about the way he smiled, which made it just all the harder to make sense of his words. "All these changes, I mean…"

"W-what?" A shocked expression appeared on Sayuri's face and this seemed just what Suigetsu had aimed at.

_These changes_… How could he know about it? She hadn't seen him in nearly two weeks and since Sasuke had been on missions or with her at home, he probably hadn't either – so how could he know? Was he some kind of stalker, who sat with binoculars in the bushes and spied on them? Or had he maybe talked to Sasuke after all, maybe even before all this had started and knew what it was about – knew it when she didn't? Maybe she should ask him. Maybe he could tell her why her relationship to Sasuke was going down the drain. But only if he really did know… Sometimes his words were so context-free and speculative that she wondered if he was only making guesses and then judged from her reaction how to carry on and right now, her response must have told him that he had just hit the bull's eye…

"So I'm wrong…?"

"… with what…?" She probed hesitantly, not too sure if she wanted to hear what he had to say…

"You're fighting a lot, aren't you?" He said this and his grin only grew wider and more gleeful and it upset her to see how he apparently got a kick out of their problems and then Neji was also watching her through narrowed eyes, apparently feeling confirmed in his assumption that something wasn't right between them.

"Where did you get that from?" She frowned at him, acting like he had said something completely absurd, not even anywhere near the truth.

"A birdie told me…"

"_A_ _birdie_? You mean Juugo?" She raised an eyebrow sceptically, feeling like she had long missed the point.

"No. Not _Juugo_…" The first time today the grin vanished from his face and was replaced by an indignant look, but then he just shrugged and shook his head and once he stopped, the grin was back where it used to be.

"Anyway, the walls are really thin, so-"

"What? They're not – but even if, there'd be like fifteen other walls between us still, so there's no way you could have heard anything." She interrupted him, somewhat in need to convince herself that it was impossible for him to hear anything of what was going on within their own four walls.

"I guess I have good ears, then…"

Now Sayuri's mouth dropped open slightly and she shook her head, not knowing what to say to this – it definitely spoke for her stalker-theory, so there was probably nothing to get by talking to him – she'd just end up growing paranoid now.

"We don't have time for this – let's go." Neji finally raised his voice and put a hand on her shoulder, drawing her gaze to him. He had been so quiet that she had nearly forgotten about him, but that wasn't really surprising, Suigetsu had chosen a really unpleasant topic, so no wonder that he hadn't joined their _conversation_.

He nodded at her lightly and so did Sayuri then, too, knowing that he was helping her to get away from the Houzuki and she was more than just thankful for that.

"I see… Tell Sasuke I want to talk to him, once he's back, okay? See you soon." He grinned and waved goodbye, before he turned around and walked into the direction of the Uchiha-compound.

"Phew… finally…" Sayuri sighed once he was out of earshot and again put a hand to her forehead, before running it through her hair and finally resting it behind her neck.

"I can't stand that guy…" Neji hissed and still stared at Suigetsu's back, until he vanished completely in the distance.

"Watch out… he has good ears, remember?" Sayuri stuck out her tongue cheekily, before raising up a hand to cover a yawn.

"Good ears and inexhaustible jaw muscles…"

"Absolutely." She dropped her arm again and smiled blandly. "I don't know… I actually like him… just not when he talks to me…"

"Yeah… I know what you mean…" He said and cast a long look at her, which made her feel quite uncomfortable, since she feared that he'd dwell on Suigetsu's words and cross-examine her, starting some I-knew-it-talk, so she quickly turned her head away and thought of a way to take the wind out of his sails.

"Where are you going anyway?" She asked and leaned against the lantern behind her.

"I'll walk you home." He shrugged and raised a startled expression on her face.

"You don't have to…"

"I know." Neji stepped towards her and offered his arm to her.

"Thanks." She smiled and linked arms with him, really grateful for the support, but somehow feeling weird for doing so with her best friend, but not with her boyfriend and she knew that in case he should ever see them like this, he'd probably rip her head off and do something even worse to Neji… Jealous or not…

…

…

This was it now. The last day of her Sasuke-free time. She wouldn't say it had done her good to be without him, but really it had.

She had missed him though, even more than she usually did… after all five days, no four actually, really weren't long, but to her it had felt like that. They had been separated for much longer before, even so much as two months, so it was nothing special – she wasn't the kind of girl, who needed to see her boyfriend each and every single day, even though those two months had been quite hard admittedly. But then she usually didn't miss him the way she did now…

She always thought about him a lot, especially in those situations which would have been so much better when he would have been there, too, but then she'd only smile mildly and would just all the more look forward to seeing him again; would look forward to their reunion… But right now it was different. She missed him. Really missed him. Could hardly think of anything but him, wanted him to come back so badly and yet didn't want that all the same.

She had resumed working in the hospital again, which was really good since it took her mind off all these things, at least while she was there and when she got home she was too exhausted to do anything but sleeping.

Actually the last two days had been quite calm and really not stressful and yet she was completely jaded, even though she had gotten quite a lot of sleep. She was only working and sleeping – that's what her day looked like, really boring and monotonous actually, but she was too busy with either working or sleeping to be bothered by it.

It was already dark outside by the time she got home, after she had walked the dog for much shorter than he was actually used to, but she was longing for a hot bath and wanted to enjoy the cosiness of her tiny, little hut before she would go back into that huge, unwelcoming mansion again.

He was supposed to get back tomorrow around noon probably, maybe even in the morning, depending on how many breaks they took. She didn't know for sure, though, but she'd most likely be in the hospital then, which meant she'd see him somewhat in the evening. 24 hours left.

She closed the door behind her and watched her dog jump onto the couch right next to the entrance, lying down there, like the 30 minutes of walking had really exhausted him.

A mild smile appeared on her face and she sat down next to him. He at once used the chance to crawl onto her lap and looked at her through his big, brown dog-eyes, almost in an expectant-manner, so her smile grew wider and she began running a hand over his soft fur.

She did so for quite some time, moving her hand almost automatically across his head and then down his back, until she saw a ball of loose black hair gather at the spot where she stopped her fondling. An annoyed grimace found its way into her face, before she picked it up and rose to her feet, to throw it away.

A noisy howling sounded through the room and the shutters rattled in the strong wind, shaking so violently that she feared her house would take off, if the storm would get any worse, which was most likely going to happen. There had been a strong wind all day and there were heavy dark clouds in the horizon, looking like they were about to burst into rain any second now.

She liked this kind of weather, at least when she didn't have to go outside, but could watch it from within. Now there was only some thunder and lightning missing and this would be the perfect setting for spending curled up under the covers.

With slow steps she walked into her small bathroom, up to the eggshell white bathtub at the other end of it. She turned the water on and poured a generous amount of bubble bath into it, so ten minutes later she sat inside a heap of foam, completely surrounded by white vapour.

Her grey-blue eyes remained focused on the ceiling, while her fingers leisurely drew the small cracks and fissures into the foam, which at once dissolved under her touch. Actually she wouldn't have to look at the ceiling to do so, she had done it so often that she already memorized it by now, but if she wouldn't keep her eyes open she'd probably fall asleep, so this was definitely for the better.

Just one last day. She was really anxious about seeing him again, but it had been after that last mission that he had started acting so weird, so maybe there was now some kind of reversal after this one and he'd come back as his old self.

She really tried to believe in that, but it really wasn't easy with her rather pessimistic nature. She wasn't _naive_, like Sasuke had said; at least she didn't think she was. Actually she was kind of negative; always expecting the worst to happen, setting her expectations so low that they could only be topped, so she wouldn't get disappointed in the end. However at the moment it wasn't this easy, since this whole situation was so strange, so unpredictable, that the worst could pretty well happen. It was weird – she thought of the worst and yet hoped it wouldn't happen – a hopeful pessimist, which would be kind of paradoxical since those two features excluded one another. She was just too messed up to make sense.

And then she had even told him that she was glad he left. In fact the last words she had spoken to him, before he took off. She wished she hadn't said that, even though it was true; in that situation she had really been sure it would do them good if he left, but now she wasn't so sure about that any more…

It had done her good in a way, she still felt like she was getting ill, but at least she had managed to catch some sleep, so she had drawn some benefits from this, but with him… He had either missed her, which would be what she hoped for, or it had given him just all the more time to distance himself from her and he'd come back as someone who only reminded of his former self because of his looks.

A weary sigh passed her lips and she sunk deeper into the hot water until it was up to her chin and the foam was drawn towards her nose whenever she inhaled, only to bounce back with every exhalation like it was jelly.

She really hoped it would be okay now… She hated stories without a happy end, so how much worse would that be in real life then?

There was only white in front of her eyes, but the foam turned grey as her eyes slowly dropped shut but didn't close entirely, so she looked like a prisoner at the cloud covered sky, her lashes the bars that kept her from just diving into them, from hiding inside the fleecy clouds…

_She would apologize for having said that_

… crawl into the cosy cotton balls…

_tell him how much she missed him_

… lie there in the pure whiteness…

_tell him that she loved him_

… but then it slowly became darker… and darker… …

She was trapped, deaf, buried alive under a massive layer of snow, floating there right above her. She didn't know where the snow had come from and why it had such a blue-green shade, but she didn't waste much thought on it, since her oxygen was running out, so she broke through the water surface and spluttered unceremoniously, coughed out all the water she had inadvertently swallowed in shock.

She shouldn't have closed her eyes. She had been sure this would happen, but at least she now knew that falling asleep in the bathtub didn't necessarily lead to drowning, but that wasn't really surprising, sleeping without breathing didn't really work…

Still with some last coughs and her nose feeling like it was crushed, she leaned back against the surprisingly cold porcelain rim and pressed a hand to her eyes, which felt like they were under some kind of pressure, as if the lack of air had brought them close to bursting.

This near death experience somehow took the charm from this whole bathing-thing, so once she had calmed down again, she stepped out of the tub and wrapped herself in a soft white towel and in spite of the not so nice ending she was feeling much better now. Really clean and pure, like a brand-new person.

She walked to the sink and used her forearm to wipe the fog off the mirror, but as she did, she was suddenly overcome by a wave of dizziness verging on vertigo, so she gripped for the rim of the sink, to catch herself before she'd fall, unbalanced as she felt.

She dropped her head between her hunched up shoulders, her long, wet hair falling in front, the water dripping into the sink, really loudly and frequently. It took her some time to realize that it wasn't really the water from her hair but rather the pouring rain, hammering on her roof she heard, but it's not like she cared. She was too busy with forcing back those black dots in front of her eyes and somehow convince the room to stop spinning.

The water must have been too hot and then in combination with the oxygen deficiency… She leaned down and turned the water on, splashing it into her face and drinking some of it, feeling the cool liquid run over her skin, down her throat, the coldness slowly but gradually spreading through her entire body and pushing back the nausea with it.

She kept standing like that for at least five minutes, until she was entirely sure that her knees wouldn't just buckle underneath her and she'd probably end up hitting her head on the sink, which would be just great right now…

With a tired sigh she turned the water off again, feeling at least a bit better now and started combing her hair, but then twitched as a sudden roar of thunder cracked right above her roof. She put the comb down again, almost certain that she had also heard another sound in the cover of the thunder, but not really able to put a finger on what or if there had actually been something at all. It was pretty late already and she was tired and then there was also that weird fit of dizziness, so her senses weren't too reliable…

She detached her eyes from the closed door and looked at the red comb again, but then turned her head back around as the door flew open with a loud bang.

"S-Sasuke…?" She looked at the dark-haired man with widened eyes, not understanding what he was doing here. He stood there in the doorway, dressed in his dark cloak, which hung open and revealed his muddy clothes underneath, his hair dripping wet, like he had just stepped out of the bathtub himself and there was some kind of harried look in his eyes, even his breath came in ragged gasps, as if he had run all the way here.

"W-what are you doing here?" She stammered anxiously and pulled the towel around her chest tighter. Something about his demeanour bothered her; he looked so wild and agitated and he had again returned earlier than he was actually supposed to and then he was so intently staring at her and this time there were so many emotions in his eyes that she couldn't even tell which prevailed.

Without saying anything he walked closer to her, it took him only two steps to cover the whole distance and he was so quick that she didn't even have a chance to flinch back, confused as she was.

"I thought you-" She started, trying to get something out of him, something that would explain his behaviour, but he pulled her by the waist, staining her lily-white towel with mud, as it collided with his torso. Still with an anxious face, Sayuri looked into his eyes and had to swallow hard about that firm and yet somehow desperate look in them. He gave off the smell of dried leaves and damp earth. There was dirt on his hands, his clothes and his cheek and she even perceived a slash of scarlet on his neck.

She moved her hands away from her chest and placed her palms on his shoulders, trying to have some distance to him. His appearance still worried, not to say scared her. He looked so confused himself, like he didn't know what he was doing here.

Something in his expression changed and he glanced to the side briefly, avoiding her gaze, before he turned back to her again and wrapped his arms around her back crushing his lips onto hers, in a raw, desperate kiss.

A surprised gasp escaped her lips, but he used the chance to shove his tongue into her mouth and even though she was still confused, she now put her arms around his neck and returned the kiss.

Maybe he had really missed her. Maybe that's why he did that. He might have had a guilty conscience because of what happened and that was why he was here now. He had rushed back all the way, in spite of the weather and had come to her house right away, because he knew she'd be here and now he was kissing her. This hungry, needy kiss, passionate in spite of its roughness. She lost herself in the act; the kiss so perfectly mirroring her own emotions, the uncertainty, the despair, the need, so she barely realized how he pushed her backwards, until her back hit the cold tiles.

Shocked by the sudden coldness, she pulled her lips away from his and accidentally knocked her head on the wall, but she was hardly aware of that. Her widened eyes remained fixed on his pitch black ones as she heard the rustling of clothes. Then she felt his big, cold hands under her thighs and a second later the ground under her feet was gone. He raised her knees up beside her chest, pinning her between his body and the wall as he pushed himself inside her.

It only a hurt a little. Physically. Mentally there was just confusion and incomprehension – the confusion was massive. Hurt hadn't arrived just yet, but she could already hear it creep up on her. Very slowly but unfalteringly. It would come and running away was not an option…

She cast a perplexed look at him, her mouth slightly agape, but not a single sound passed her lips. His eyes were so cold now. Cold and hard, vacant maybe, looking through rather than at her. His face entirely blank, no trace of the former emotional chaos.

She lifted a hand to his cheek, wanting him to look at her, to really look at her. Wanted to ask him what he was doing here, why he was doing this, but her voice failed her. He shook his head lightly, shaking her hand off his cheek, before he lifted her farther up and buried his face in her shoulder, deliberately avoiding her gaze.

She dropped her arm down again and looked past him. Looked at their reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall. Watched herself hang loosely in her lover's arms, while he thrusted carelessly in and out of her, his movements quickening along with his heart rate, while her own one seemed to stand still. Frozen like every single thought in her head. She couldn't stand seeing that picture and yet she couldn't avert her eyes from it, didn't have enough control over herself to order her eyes to close, to just turn blind and pretend this wasn't happening.

His grip on her thighs tightened and a muffled groan brought her out of her daze. Then, after a last deep thrust it was over. His face was still resting against her chest, his head lowered like he was ashamed.

There was only the noisy hammering of the rain against the roof and the sound of his quickened breathing brushing over her warm skin. Slowly he brought his face up, kissed her favourite spot right in the crook of her neck, but she didn't really feel it. His grip loosened again and he slowly lowered her until her feet were back on the ground and now he finally lifted his head to look at her. The emotionless mask from before slowly gave way to a desperate expression, as he looked into the shocked face of his girlfriend, but then turned away as he couldn't stand looking into her widened, empty eyes.

He took a step back and pulled up his pants again, while Sayuri slowly slid down the wall. Fucked she sat down on the cold tiles, raising her knees up in front of her, while her eyes remained fixed on the dark-haired man.

After he had put on his clothes again, he turned back to her, looked at her small frame sit there right at his feet. He picked up her towel from the floor and offered it to her, but instead of taking it she raised her voice.

"I didn't want you to do that."

The words were hardly louder than a whisper and yet they didn't fail to have their effect on the Uchiha. Seeing her like this caught his breath and for a split second a guilty expression flitted over his face. He draped the dirty towel around her shoulders and looked down at her with a miserable expression.

"Sayuri…" He murmured her name, his voice so uncommonly shaky and his mouth was still open, desperate to say something, but then he closed it again and rose up to his feet, the blank mask returning to his face.

"I should leave now."

"…Yes…" She breathed and stared at the cabinet in front of her, listening to the quiet tapping of his footsteps as he walked away from her.

Once she heard the bang of the front door, she buried her face between her knees, and took a couple of deep breaths, knowing exactly that he hadn't just talked about leaving the house…

…

…


	19. Confusion part 1

**19.**** Confusion part 1**

The violet-haired kunoichi was sitting in the slightly damp grass under her favourite willow on the high cliffs overlooking the colourfully glowing and blinking village. The very cliffs at which she had met Sasuke, about one and a half years ago, just a different spot of them. It was dark by now, close to midnight presumably, but she couldn't tell for sure, long as she was sitting here already.

A faintly glowing crescent stood like a shepherd in the middle of the dark, prussian blue sky and his sheep were gathered all around him and everywhere else, too, but never alone, so he must have done his job quite well.

He still hadn't shown up yet and she wondered if he'd come at all. She didn't feel alone though, not with the talented shepherd, who she imagined was watching over her, too, or the happily chirping crickets, volunteering their most cryptic songs to fight back the silence. Her chirpish wasn't too good though, but still she thought she had a fairly good idea of what they were singing about, but they'd never give her a clear answer to whether she was right or wrong, so she couldn't really tell for sure.

Eventually he came then, though she didn't realize so at first, because tiredness had decided to collaborate with gravity and was drawing her lids down, but then he slumped to the ground right next to her and his weight on her arm outmatched the weight on her mind by far.

Only just awoken from her little almost-nap, she cast a confused look at the Uchiha, before she sat up and gazed into his eyes. His pupils were dilated in a funny way, making his eyes appear even darker than they already were, but maybe that was just a trick of light –the absent light that is.

Clumsily his lips crashed against hers, first just against her chin, but he corrected his course soon enough. He put his hands on her shoulders pulling her closer and further into the kiss, before his weight on her suddenly increased and she was slowly pressed down to the ground. The moist grass tickled her neck and ears and she couldn't help but to grin and as Sasuke realized that, he lifted his head and gazed down at her through his shadowy eyes.

"Your lips taste sweet." He whispered and brushed his thumb over her soft lips, before he leaned down again and placed another light kiss on them.

"Like… cherries or strawberries, I don't know…" He licked over his lips, as if he meant to savour the taste she had left on them and his words caused Sayuri to smile lightly.

With him it was different though, his lips felt like stone and there was a stale smell whenever he exhaled, but she told him he tasted good anyway. He shifted his weight and then sat down with his back against the willow, before he pulled out a bottle, she didn't know he had with him, and passed it to her.

"What is that?" She asked, sitting up, before she turned the bluish bottle in her hands, searching for any label that might identify it, but couldn't find one.

"Just try it." He sighed and shot a challenging look at her, so she opened it and took a hesitant sip of the apparently clear liquor. It wasn't Sake this time it tasted much better, even though she couldn't quite say like what, just good.

A surprised smile found its way onto her lips and she side-glanced at Sasuke, who then gave her an I-told-you-so look and watched the violet-haired girl take another far more generous sip of the unknown beverage.

"That's really good." She smiled and passed the bottle to the dark-haired man, who then drank from it as well, before he leaned down to kiss her again and this time his lips tasted much better than before and weren't so hard any more, as if the alcohol had defrosted them. She could feel some sort of heat spread through her chest cavity and her throat as well and her head began feeling airy and a bit giddy, but in a pleasant way.

Once he pulled his lips away, she gripped for the bottle again and drank, realizing that they had already terminated half of it. She didn't know why, but she couldn't stop smiling and as Sasuke saw that he couldn't help but to smirk about her stupid grin as well.

A shudder ran through her, as a cold wind blew against her face, so she put the bottle to the ground and leaned to the side, but lost her balance so she landed on Sasuke's lap, which is where she had wanted to end up anyway, so it really didn't matter. He looked down at her, as she shifted her weight to lie face up and then reached for his arm and pulled it across her chest, snuggling her face into the crook of his arm.

Their eyes met for a second, before Sayuri looked past him and gazed into the star speckled sky.

"Look… that's the great bear, isn't it?" She pointed into the sky, her finger swaying a bit so she included most of the visible stars into her assumption.

"And the little bear right next to it." She moved her finger to the side, with a little more vigour than she had intended to, so she ended up pointing at her own shoulder.

"Tze – I doubt it's down there." Sasuke murmured in an amused tone and reached for her hand.

"No really!" She protested and propped herself up, leaning against the tree trunk right next to Sasuke. "And that is Sextans, right?"

"If we just switched hemispheres, maybe…" Sasuke shrugged, but then smirked about the dumbfounded expression on Sayuri's face.

"Phew… I'll never learn it…" She sighed and leaned against Sasuke's shoulder, receiving a light kiss on her hair, which caused a contented smile to rise on her lips, while her eyes slowly fluttered shut… …

Her lids felt so heavy, it was almost impossible to move them up. But not only her lids; she felt heavy in general, her limbs felt heavy and she doubted she could even so much as wiggle a finger at the moment and her head felt heavy as well; heavy and dull and lethargic, just too drowsy to do anything but throbbing and now that she thought of it also aching.

There was a desert in her throat and her lips were dry and chapped, but her tongue was so swollen that she couldn't even swallow to fight the dryness.

It took her quite some time and above all effort to pry her eyes open and she gazed at a blurry mass of beige with some lighter and darker spots which gradually cleared in her vision, until she was sure that she was staring at a ceiling.

She tried to remember the ceiling, remember whom it belonged to, remember where it was, but in her head was only a yawning void and the more she tried to remember, the more her head ached, as if the thinking actually caused her pain and she was no longer able to keep her eyes from falling shut.

But just because it hurt didn't mean she could just stop it; not now that she had gotten started. The questions seemed to pop up from everywhere and just took over her head and then as it had just gotten a bit clearer again. Now it was over with that and her skull seemed crammed with more questions than it could possibly accommodate.

Why was her mouth so dry?

How come her entire body seemed to be aching?

Why did thinking hurt her?

Where was she?

Was this her room?

Her ceiling?

The ceiling of another room in her home?

Why was she lying here?

Why did she feel so unbearably weak?

What was she doing here?

Why didn't she recognize anything?

If this wasn't her room, what was it then?

How had she gotten here?

Where was this room?

Where was her home?

What did her home look like at all?

Who was she anyway?

Especially this last question caused a wave of panic to roll over her and suddenly it wasn't so hard to keep her eyes open after all. However the headache increased until it was almost unbearable and she wondered if it wouldn't have been better to have her eyes shut after all, but it didn't seem to be up to her to decide about it.

Just who was she?

Who was the person caught in this body she was at least to some extent able to move with her thoughts?

Where did this person come from?

Where was she born?

Where did she grow up?

Where was her family?

Why was she thinking of herself as female anyway?

She felt like a girl. Her inner voice sounded girlish, but how could she know? Maybe she was just a boy with a high voice? Maybe her inner voice had nothing to do with her real voice. Did it even sound female or was she just imagining this? Actually it sounded toneless, voiceless and yet she heard it; heard the different intonations. What did that mean? Did she only hear it because she wanted to hear it? What if she was only a boy who dreamed of being a girl, which is why she thought of herself as female?

Without her even having realized it, she had moved a hand up to her face and now trailed it across her features. She wondered how she had come up with the strength, but that was irrelevant now, because she was too busy with studying her face. She felt something crisp and wondered if he/she was really a boy/girl or rather an old man/woman, with wrinkled, leathery, sun-tanned skin.

Nothing seemed familiar. Her jaw, her lips, her nose, her cheekbones, her eye sockets, her brows, her forehead, her hairline, her ears – nothing. But at least she realized now that it wasn't her skin she had felt, but something on her face, some kind of bandage, which was wrapped around her head and ran over her nose. She lifted a hand over her eyes and saw that it was really small and slender, with smooth, though bruised skin – neither a male nor an old hand, so she was sure she was a girl, or at least wanted to believe so. But even if - just who was she? What did it help her to know that she was a girl, when she didn't know which girl?

Her heart started pounding heavily, her head throbbing along with it and she was sure it would burst. There was so much pressure on her head all of a sudden that she was certain her bones would give way. What did it matter to know who she was, when her head was going to explode any second now anyway? When she was close to being nothing but some bloody red body parts scattered all over this unfamiliar room?

Her mouth was ripped open by a scream, coming from deep inside her, right out of her painfully contracting lungs, but no actual sound passed her lips. Still she couldn't close her mouth and felt so nauseous that she feared instead of that scream, her stomach contents would come flying right out.

She pressed her hand over her mouth and finally squeezed her eyes shut and struggled to turn off all these questions and just concentrated on her breathing patterns, trying to calm her heart down again.

It took her quite some time and she still wasn't calm, but at least the urge to scream or puke had vanished by now. She opened her eyes again, realizing to her relief that she regained more and more control of her body, so she slowly tried to move her head to have a glimpse at the room, hoping that it might help her remembering.

It was a really spacious room, with light walls, having a slightly greenish tint to them and there were a couple of cupboards, all of them looking quite old and worn. She turned her neck farther to the side until her cheek rested on the thin pillow and she now noticed the other person, lying on the red carpeted floor right next to her. Same as her, he was covered by an olive-green blanket and seemed to be asleep, which wasn't the case with her any longer though.

With quite some effort she propped herself up, barely managing to lift her head a couple of centimetres off the ground and for hardly longer than ten seconds, but it was enough to catch a glimpse of the man. He had messy grey hair and wore a mask which covered the lower part of his face and there was a scar on his left eye. He also wore some kind of headband thing around his forehead and looked really exhausted.

Maybe she was in a hospital. She was here, definitely in pain and he didn't seem to do much better either, so it would fit. But then she didn't think they had carpets in hospitals. Either way thinking about what this place was, or who that man was, was much more pleasant than thinking about who she was, so she started hypothesising about these things, started inventing an entire life story for that stranger, while being mindful not to spend a single thought on her own one.

Then she heard some noise. Some hurried steps and loud voices; many voices, belonging to quite a lot of people and moving closer. She didn't know why but she brought her hand back to where it had lain before and closed her eyes again, pretending to be asleep. Her heart was again beating rapidly and she saw it as a bad sign, suddenly felt like she was in danger, like those voices brought calamity with them.

The door flew open and in rushed at least five people, maybe even more, at once filling the room with their mere presence, which would be somehow impressive, if she wasn't too intimidated by it right now. She heard their voices but the hammering of her heart was so loud that she could barely understand anything of what they were saying, even though she tried hard to listen to it and couldn't help but to wonder why they didn't hear her, considering how deafening loud her heart was pounding.

They seemed to gather around the man though, saying something in anxious voices, but then there was a louder one, shrieking something in such a high pitched tone that she nearly cringed.

Something like: 'nó tájm tú slí:p'– whatever that was supposed to mean, but she doubted that he was speaking the same language as her.

The floor vibrated lightly as someone approached her, so she prepared herself for anything; being spoken, to, maybe being touched or moved, just so that in case it should really happen it wouldn't catch her by surprise.

However what really did happen then, shocked her so much that she nearly blew her cover after all. She lay there, mentally preparing for whatever was going to happen, when she saw a dark figure lean over her and put something cold onto her forehead. Her eyes were closed so why could she see something? Maybe she only thought her eyes were closed when in reality they weren't and they all knew she was awake and would now do who knows what to her. But actually she was sure they were closed. All she saw was black or just dark-grey and yet that figure was definitely outlined against the blackness – somewhat darker than it and it somehow grew a bit clearer still, the surroundings becoming a little lighter, while that person was outlined darker, with different shades even. She could see two black circles where the eyes had to be and she could also see the contours of a mouth.

Then there was another person beside that woman, a bit smaller and peering right into her face. She could even feel his warm breath on her skin, smell something spicy, probably his lunch and he was so close that she was sure he knew she was awake. However then he said something in a low voice, not loud enough to get past the throbbing in her head, before they both turned away and then there was only black again.

'What had that just been?' She asked herself, but her head was getting too lazy to think of an answer and she slowly drifted off, led away from her conscious state by a jumble of words.

"náwz dé tjaéns – l_3_ts lúk énder híz maésk"

"wát íf hí wèiks áp?"

"nó wéi."

'…What queer people…' she thought and drifted off to sleep… …

However then a noisy ringing ripped her out of her dreams. Her grey-blue eyes fluttered open, but still she made no move to shut up the much-hated alarm clock and just stared with a vacant expression at the angry thing, wondering how long it would take until it would ring itself down the table, on a kamikaze mission to silence itself.

It didn't though. Turning out as a coward – it just stood there, immobile except for the little clacker that moved back and forth between the two bells, creating an ear-splitting sound, which she usually couldn't stand to listen to for more than a few seconds.

Now it was different though. The noise seemed muffled and barely reached her. She wondered how it had managed to wake her up at all, but then she didn't really feel awake, which would make sense again – half the volume half awake.

The battery was probably low and she was curious to see how long it would keep on ringing before it would die. Why had she set the alarm anyway?

She tried to remember and yet hindered herself from it. Once she knew, she'd probably have to get up, since that was usually the function of alarm clocks: waking you so you can get up. Therefore she rather remained ignorant and kept lying here, surrounded by the dense veil, which had descended upon her mind and kept her from thinking. Kept her from facing reality, facing this day, facing the day before.

She raised her knees to her chest and slung her arms around them, her painfully dry eyes still glued to the clock display. Maybe she should blink, it would stop her eyes from burning, but she felt too worn out for even that.

She didn't want anything. She didn't want to move, didn't want to think, didn't want to feel. She didn't want any of this, even though she hardly did so and should therefore be satisfied. That wasn't entirely true though. She was moving - those little movements, which were inevitable for human beings. She thought numbers, as she counted the seconds the clock was hammering and she felt empty and since you can only feel empty when you do feel something, this whole thing didn't really work after all. She was totally powerless. She couldn't stop moving when she wanted to, she couldn't stop thinking when she wanted to and she couldn't stop feeling when she wanted to – she had absolutely lost control of her own life, probably never had any. Nothing seemed to work out the way she wanted it to lately and this is what it led to:

2400 seconds.

300 seconds left before her shift would get started. She didn't know where the motivation came from, but before she knew what was happening she stood in her bathroom and looked at the muddy footprints on her white tiles, leading to a towel which used to be white and clean once. She was sure this sight would unsettle her, but it didn't. Her heart was beating at a near death pace, so calm and slow that she was tempted to knock at her chest and have a look into it to see if something was in there at all.

She kept her eyes down, not wanting to look into the mirror again, not now that she still so vividly remembered the last image she had seen in it. She washed her face and brushed her teeth and then took a shower after all, even though she was already late.

In spite of her latest experience, she turned the water to the hottest setting, feeling it burn her skin, which took on the colour of a lobster. It was a good hurt. A cleansing pain, scorching the unpleasant memories off her skin, numbing her mind until she could think nothing but pain. Before she stepped out of her bathtub, she turned the water to freezing cold, feeling a different kind of sting as her skin contracted, trying to strip off her bones and hide from the ice water.

Once she grew accustomed to the cold, she turned the water off, feeling as empty and numb as before. She got dressed without really paying attention to what clothes she picked, before she called for her dog and stepped out into the bright and sunny day.

The ground was still covered with many puddles and the trees glistened with raindrops, the sunbeams almost looking solid the way they drifted through the bright green foliage. It was a beautiful day, the air smelled fresh and new and all colours seemed so excessively bright and everything was sparkling and twinkling.

It didn't seem right. It didn't seem right that everything was so vivid and pretty, when all she wanted to see was darkness – just something that matched her mood. How could everything be so bright and happy after what happened? Why didn't the world have some regards for her dreary mood?

She brought her dog to the Inuzukas' and walked to the hospital, counting her steps, counting left foot and right foot, just anything that kept her from thinking. Anything to distract herself.

She entered the busy entrance hall, moving without paying attention to anyone around her, moving like she wasn't an hour too late. She walked from patient to patient, but the second she left their rooms again, she had already forgotten about them and drifted like a ghost through the corridors, completely unaware of the people passing her, moving around in a twilight zone. She wondered if she had really left her bed this morning and didn't just imagine herself walking through this building.

She had to pick up a patient from the OR, but he wasn't ready yet so she sat down on the bench in front of it and looked down at her knees.

"_You knew that I liked him and still you hadn't thought it necessary to tell me. Friends just don't do that…" _

She looked up and gazed out of the window, squinting her eyes as the sun shone right into them and eventually closed them completely.

Sakura had been right. She should have told her. Should have told everyone, so it wouldn't have come to all these complications.

"_It's too late now." _

She looked up as the door flew open and watched a couple of white coats waft past her – yet more ghosts in this huge, old building, walking removed and withdrawn from everyone else, apparently not acknowledging the presence of any other being. Walking with their faces fixed on a spot in the distance, with concentrated obliviousness in their expressions. It was eerie how much they reminded her of herself.

Shoving the bed in front of her, she walked her patient down the corridor, followed by a nurse, she thought she had greeted, even though she wouldn't put her money on it.

The recovery room. Full of people as always. Unconscious patients, half asleep doctors. They began connecting him to various gadgets and she started preparing his infusion.

A soft rustle was heard, as she removed the plastic foil and pulled out a big, hollow needle which she then attached to the syringe. She kept her eyes fixed on the clear infusion bag and watched the yellowish liquid spread through it.

"_How long till it kicks in_?"

Sayuri slowly turned around to him and stared vacantly into his face.

"Not long…" She whispered and looked down at the wrinkled sheets… The turned up hand…

"Just what are you doing there?"

She was ripped out of her reverie by this sudden exclamation and was shoved to the side the next second, watching with an uncomprehending expression how another medic-nin ripped the tube out of the man's arm, right before the yellowish liquid would have flown into it.

"He just came out of the OR! Are you trying to kill him?" The male medic shouted at her and she now realized that almost everyone in the room was staring at her and she still had no clue what this was all about.

"W-what?" She stammered and shot a confused gaze at him and then at the nurse who had come here with her, before her attention was drawn to a blonde woman, wearing a jade-green jacket, who walked with resolute steps into her direction, the look on her face, which would have usually caused her to panic in advance already, now leaving her entirely cold.

"What is going on here?" The Godaime planted herself in front of the two people and stared from one of them to the other, but his attention was still focussed on the violet-haired girl.

"You almost killed him… …"

"I-I almost killed you…" She murmured and looked down. "Why did you let me win like that… why didn't you offer any resistance?" She just circumvented around the thing she really wanted to know, but just couldn't bring herself to asking it… to ask him why he had wanted her to kill him.

"You defeated me, that's all there is to it." There was something decisive in his voice and he wrapped his arms tighter around her, apparently declaring this conversation as over, but Sayuri was of a different opinion.

"That's a lie and you know that." She didn't see how Sasuke rolled his eyes, but she could at least hear the annoyed sigh he heaved.

"I have a theory about that…" She breathed the words, her voice barely audible, but the Uchiha heard her nevertheless.

"Is that so…" He neither lowered nor raised his voice at the end of his sentence so Sayuri couldn't tell whether it had been a question or a statement, but whispered nevertheless: "Uh-huh… but I'd rather not tell…"

Her eyes stared into the direction of her own futon on the other side of the room, but seemed to be entirely unfocussed and vacant. He scrutinized her for quite some time, weighing her words, until he finally stated in an emotionless voice: "That's unfortunate…"

She thought about his words for a long time, thought about what had just happened, about how it could have come to this. How come she was now here lying in his arms, still tasting his kiss on her lips, hearing the calm murmuring of his heart, beating there right under her ear?

Still it was hard to enjoy this situation since she couldn't just ignore that this might be the last time they were lying like this and even though she tried her best to fight it, since she didn't want to miss a single second of this, tiredness began to overpower her and in spite of her efforts, she drifted off into sleep… …

She opened her eyes, once her dream came to an end. A nightmare probably, but she couldn't quite tell. Couldn't quite remember anything of it and now there was this ceiling again. The stained, cracked ceiling, belonging to no house she had ever been in before.

"You're awake."

She perceived a male voice and could literally feel all her organs turn to ice that second. One of the people from before. One of these queer, loud and somehow dangerous people. After she had been so mindful to pretend to be asleep, now that she really had fallen asleep it had led to her cover being blown.

Still she didn't move. Hoping that by not moving, not reacting to his words, just doing nothing she could somehow fool him into believing she was sleeping with her eyes open. People did so from time to time, right? They open and close their eyes while asleep. Maybe she should close them now. She really should, but they just didn't react to that order. Anything but her heart seemed to be paralysed and she was aware of her every bone pressing into the thin and far too hard futon underneath her.

"Don't be afraid. You are safe here." He said in a calm, pleasant voice and something about his tone really did have a reassuring effect on her. He was different from the others. His presence wasn't so overwhelming, he didn't radiate this concentrated energy and he had been unconscious before, too, maybe he had been brought here just like her, didn't belong to these people, maybe he even knew her.

She turned her head to the side and found him sitting beside his futon, one of his eyes focussed on her, while the other one was hidden underneath his headband. She wasn't quite sure, but it actually looked like he was smiling under his mask.

"Who are you guys?" Her voice sounded weak and raspy, the words feeling like tags she could barely force out of her throat. Somehow it didn't really sound like the voice she had heard in her head all the time, but now that she thought about it and heard herself speak, her inner voice adjusted to it, or maybe it had been like that all the time – she really didn't know.

"_Guys_?" He seemed a bit startled, but then the smile returned to his face. "So you're awake for quite some time already, huh?"

Her eyes widened slightly and she avoided his gaze, feeling somehow ashamed or even guilty, like a child caught by doing something strictly forbidden.

"Nevermind." He assured her, apparently having noticed the change in her expression, before he leaned towards her and she first wanted to back away, but her body wasn't fit enough for any sudden actions yet and then it didn't really feel like he was a danger to her, he really looked anything but threatening. She wondered why she was doing this: always sorting people into categories of dangerous or only potentially dangerous – and up to now he was the first and only one in that latter category.

Still she didn't lower her guard and observed through watchful eyes how the grey-haired man reached for a glass standing beside her futon, a bit above her head, which is why she hadn't seen it yet

"Drink." He put a stray into the glass and held it towards her, but she only regarded it with a sceptical expression.

"Don't worry – I didn't drink from it. It's all yours." The unknown man smirked and still held the glass expectantly in front of her face.

Actually she had been worried about poison and not so much about germs, but if he said so. She propped herself up on her elbows and it worked much better than she would have thought, it was painful though, but still bearable, so she tried to sit up completely, which cost her quite an effort, but in the end it worked.

It took her a couple of seconds to recover from this struggle, but then she took the glass and emptied it in one go, feeling like it was not even nearly enough to ease the drought in her throat.

"You're doing much better than I would have thought…"

She didn't respond, but looked at the empty glass, wishing it was full, but at least it had fought the dryness and she was able to swallow again, without that barbed-wire feeling in her throat.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her voice still sounding weak and hoarse, but a bit better than before.

"What a weird question to ask of someone in your situation."

He was right, it was weird, but it was the first thing she could come up with, just to make sure he wouldn't ask her something first, which would again lead her to thinking about herself. So in case he should know anything about her, he might drop some hints and maybe that would help her remembering, without showing him that she didn't do so by herself.

"Hm…" She shrugged and gazed at a small bird, which had landed on the window sill to her side.

"I am Hatake Kakashi, a ninja from Konoha-Gakure."

None of his words rang a bell, but the fact that he was introducing himself had to mean that he didn't know her. Apparently she had to find out by herself, who she was, but merely that thought caused her again to feel nauseous, so she pressed a hand to her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Maybe you should lie down." He said, his voice sounding sincerely worried, even though he apparently didn't know her.

"No." She shook her head and dropped her hand again, but kept her eyes closed. "You're Hatake Kakashi from Konoha-Gakure." She repeated his words, already knowing more about him than she knew about herself and she hoped he'd just carry on talking so she could stop thinking about her own identity.

"Right." He confirmed, still looking at her with a concerned expression, but then carried on to her relief. "Me and my team – the other people who you've apparently seen already – have been hired by Tazuna, the owner of this house to protect him while he is building a bridge-"

"And yet you're here." She interrupted him in a musing voice, trying her best to get into his story.

"And yet I'm here…" He sighed and caused her to open her eyes again and look at him. "Three days ago, we've been attacked by a high-ranked ninja, a short time after we found you…"

"… found me…?" Her mouth was suddenly all dry again, so she nervously licked over her lips and tried to look at the grey-haired man, but she just couldn't get her eyes over the edge of his mask, as if there was an invisible barrier keeping her from it.

"Mmm-hmm." He nodded and shot a piercing look at her. "Still on our way here, near a river. You've been really badly injured – if we hadn't taken you with us, you'd probably be dead by now."

"…" She stared with a blank face at her bruised hands, trying to digest what he had just said. She nearly died. All the injuries and bandages had already made her guess that something must have happened, but she hadn't thought of something this grave.

Kakashi regarded her with an attentive expression, trying to read in her face, what she was thinking, before he raised his voice. "I am a ninja since 22 years now and I've seen a lot of wounds already, many different kinds and I am convinced that yours are battle injuries. I've thought a lot about what could make someone nearly beat a young girl to death and then throw her into a river – if that's what happened at all… However it is none of my business, so in case you'd rather keep it to yourself, I won't ask any questions."

Now she looked up and met his gaze, somewhat startled by his words. He wouldn't ask? She had actually prepared for questions. Had secretly even hoped for them. Maybe his questions would be different from hers, would help her remember, see something she hadn't noticed before. She hadn't gotten anywhere by herself, so why not?

"What if I just fell into the river?" She pondered aloud and gazed down at her hands again, turning them around to look at her palms. "Perhaps you were wrong and I got hurt by some rocks."

"Highly unlikely." He murmured and narrowed his eyes suspiciously, not sure what to make of her words.

"So I was attacked… a victim… or maybe I did something… I'm the culprit…" Her voice became hollow and a frown appeared on her face, whereas the rest of it remained blank. "I might have done something horrible and throwing me into the river was their last resort… but who are _they_, then?" She lowered her head and buried her face in her hands, again overcome by a stinging headache and now a knowing expression found its way onto Kakashi's face.

"You don't know it yourself." He said more to himself than to her and caused the young girl to look at him through her spread fingers.

"Mmm-hmm." She nodded weakly and felt like she was about to start crying any second now.

"You've sustained some serious injuries to your head – a temporary amnesia is not uncommon, it will fade over the time." He assured her, but somehow the attempts of this stranger to cheer her up made her only feel worse.

"You shouldn't strain yourself; try to go back step by step – what is the last thing you remember?"

"Hmpf." She shrugged, her voice not able to get past the lump in her throat and squeezed her eyes shut again, pressing her thumbs firmly against them, until she saw caleidoscopic patterns in varying colours on the black screen of her shut lids.

Kakashi didn't say anything any longer, apparently understanding what her reaction meant. He just sat quietly beside her for quite some time, until she heard him move, but she could still sense him beside her so he hadn't gotten up.

"It would do you good to eat something. The world looks much brighter with a full stomach, don't you think?"

She gazed up at him, her eyes slightly reddened, however not from tears but from the pressure she had exerted on them. Now that he mentioned it, she realized that she really was hungry and especially thirsty still, so she nodded her head and saw a smile appear on the Hatake's face.

"You think you can get up? Otherwise I'll send my students here to bring you something – they'll be glad to finally meet you." He winked at her, but somehow the prospect of meeting those energetic and somehow intimidating people, wasn't too promising. But then there was the food and merely the thought that he – the stranger she had somehow gotten to know already – would leave her alone here, in exchange for those unknown strangers, gave her the motivation to struggle to her feet and stand unsteadily in the spacious, swaying room.

"You're doing much better than I would have thought." The grey-haired man repeated and reached for his crutches, getting up himself and just in time to keep the dangerously reeling girl from falling.

"You haven't moved in days, so take it slow." He advised her, again with one of his reassuring smiles.

"I'm okay now…" She said after having taken a couple of deep breaths and erected herself to lend weight to her words.

"Still let me lend you a hand." He put one of his wooden crutches to the floor and offered his free arm to the injured girl.

"…" She eyed him warily, but then nodded and hesitantly groped for his arm, allowing him to lead her downstairs, which she definitely wouldn't have managed on her own. Every movement was painful, but some less than others so she tried to find the most pleasant way to walk, which must have looked quite weird, but it's not like she cared right now.

She perceived some voices and rattling, getting louder the nearer they came to the open doorframe at the end of the broad corridor, they had only just entered. Again she could feel a certain queasiness spread through her stomach and she was really glad it was empty. However then something else caught her attention: a mirror.

She came to a stop and tilted her head into its direction, entirely oblivious of the curious expression on Kakashi's face, or of anything else in general.

It was strange. She looked into the mirror the way she'd look at a picture – seeing a static image, she couldn't really relate to.

So that's what she looked like. A lot of bandages with a bit of face underneath them. Her eyes were bloodshot, blue apparently, but the longer she looked, the more her vision blurred and at some point they only looked violet and huge, like those of an insect. There were rainbows around her eyes, the skin underneath them slightly yellowish, but the rest she could see, which was mainly around her mouth, was pretty white, like it hadn't seen the sun in years. Then bandages across her forehead, her nose, her chin, like she was a half-finished mummy.

"Familiar?" The ninja asked, his voice sounding as if it travelled through a long tunnel.

"No." She eventually murmured, carefully watching her bruised lips mouth the word, but still that motion didn't take anything of that picture-like quality from what she was seeing.

"Then let's eat first." He said that as if a paper chase after her memories would come right after it, the second point of today's program.

After the tall man perceived a light nod on her part, he began moving towards the open doorframe again, the noise getting louder and louder. They had almost reached it and Kakashi felt that it became harder to drag her with him.

"Don't let the uproar fool you – they are really nice children, about your age probably." He mused, smiling again and there was something familiar about his smile, the whole way he treated her, he was so casual and open – as if he'd know her for ages and not just since half an hour.

After taking a deep breath to mentally brace herself for stepping into the lion's den, she nodded, so they entered the room and were at once welcomed by a loud scream… …

"Just what were you thinking?"

The words dinned through the room and suddenly caused all other noises to die down. The babble of voices was silenced at length; all eyes and ears intently focussed on the scene in the centre of the crowded room, no one even having the decency to at least hide their blatant curiosity.

"What in the world led you to giving an already anaesthetized patient such a high dose of tranquilizers?" Tsunade barked, completely beside herself.

"I… I don't know…" Sayuri shook her head helplessly, her eyes still widened in shock. She couldn't believe she had seriously done that. She nearly killed a patient, just because she hadn't been focused, hadn't really been there at all, had against all her determination, given in to thinking about him.

"_I don't know_…? – You _have_ to know! This is no playground – peoples' lives are on the line!" The Godaime reprimanded her in a volume that caused the violet-haired girl to cringe.

"I… I really…" Sayuri started, but broke off then, not even knowing herself what she wanted to say, hardly knowing what happened anyway.

"Enough – get out of here!" Tsunade yelled and pointed at the door, causing a shocked expression to manifest on Sayuri's face, before she lowered her head and nodded miserably.

She kept her head down and started slouching towards the door, her shoes squeaking on the polished linoleum. All these people were still staring at her; she knew they were, so she didn't dare to look up. It would be like walking into all these people's faces, doomed to see different versions of her own failure in their judgmental eyes.

It was really strange, She had almost killed a man, had just been bawled out in front of the assembled company and yet she didn't really feel anything. After that first shock there was just emptiness yet again and she wondered if she would have felt different if he would have really died because of her – and the worst thing about that was that she doubted so.

"Wait!" Tsunade called her back, as she had only just reached the door and caused her to come to a stop and look at the Hokage over her shoulder.

"Go to my office and wait there." She ordered and ran a hand through her hair in distress, while the violet-haired girl only nodded quietly and walked through the door… …

"If you're going to throw up then stop eating!"

They came to a stop in the open doorframe and stared at the people in front of them. There were six people, five of them, three boys, a girl and an old man sitting at a long table and a woman standing in front of the stove.

"No I must eat." The dark-haired boy said, while wiping his mouth and turning back to his plate.

"Yeah we have to, no matter what, because we have to become stronger!" The blonde boy sitting right across from him, explained with an eager smirk on his face. She remembered that voice, it was the same loud voice she's heard before, the one talking some outlandish nonsense all the time.

"Hem-hem." Kakashi harrumphed, drawing everyone's attention to them.

"Wha- You're awake!" The loud boy yelled, right after he had turned around to them and caused the girl to hunch her shoulders, due to his volume. "When did you wake up and how are you doing? Are you alright? – Are you hungry? You gotta be hun-"

"Keep it down, Naruto." The grey-haired man said in a stern voice and shot a meaningful look at the blonde, who seemed slightly offended about being put in his place like that.

"Okay, let me introduce everyone: right here in front of you is Naruto, next to him Sakura, then Sasuke – all members of my team and then we have Inari-kun, Tazuna-san and over there Tsunami-san." He moved his head from one person to the next as he said their names and they also gave some slight gestures, once they were called, so she knew who was who now and hoped she'd be able to memorize their names and really did realize that they weren't even nearly as scary as she had imagined them to be.

"C'mon." Kakashi murmured and guided her down the high step and she wondered how he managed to lead her down, while having to walk on crutches himself.

There was only one empty chair left, standing right next to the boy called Naruto and the man, she somehow regarded as a reference figure, made her sit down on it.

"And what about you?" She asked trying to hide her anxiety, but she couldn't help being afraid that he'd just drop her off here and leave.

"I'll sit over here." He smiled and sat down on the step right behind them.

"You must be starving." The blonde boy murmured in an awed voice and stared bluntly at the girl to his side. "Three days without food… I meant to feed you, you know, but Kakashi-sensei said I'd just end up choking you so I left it… but I really felt for you. I would have long starved after three days without any food."

"Baka – that's not true – did you ever pay attention in class? A normal person can live more than two months without food, but only about three days without water." The girl with bubblegum-pink hair lectured him and then cast a sheepish look at the other boy, the one with the dark-hair next to her, whose attention was focused on his food though.

"Pfft… there you have it – a _normal_ person – who said I was normal?"

"Well, that's about true… you are pretty far from being normal…" Sakura grimaced and received some consenting nods by the blonde, before he apparently realized what she meant and shrieked: "HEY!"

"You're such a retard…" The dark-haired boy hissed and shot a disgusted look at his opposite, who then jumped up from his chair.

"TEME! Take that back!"

"Tze – make me." He shrugged indifferently and raised an eyebrow in a provoking manner.

"You asked for it." The blonde pulled up his sleeves and next second he was standing on his chair, ready to jump across the table.

"Sit down!" The pinkette barked and gripped for his bright orange jacket, pulling him roughly down into his chair.

"Boys will be boys – just leave them once, they'll see what it'll get them…" The bridge builder laughed heartily, but Kakashi seemed to be of a different opinion.

"They are not here as boys but as ninja, so they should behave like that."

Now silence finally descended upon the table and everyone but Kakashi and Tsunami turned back to their plates and ate quietly.

Even though she was really hungry, since she had, as Naruto pointed out, not eaten anything in at least three days, she barely managed to force down more than three or four bites and already felt completely stuffed – her stomach must have shrunken down to the size of a grape.

"You're not done already –are you?" The blonde asked and eyed her sceptically.

A bit startled she shook her head and stared at her plate again, actually managing to get down another bite, even though she was afraid it would come right out again, but she preferred that over risking to be asked out why she only ate so little. She was perfectly fine with just watching these people and getting to know them a little, she didn't need to talk by herself.

"What happened to you anyway?" The pink-haired girl had eaten up and now leaned back in her chair, rather lying than sitting in it and her emerald green eyes seemed to be the only thing about her that was wide awake.

"Uhm… I fear I can't tell you…" She murmured quietly and now found herself in the focus of everyone's' gazes.

"Woah - that's pretty rude! We took you here, cared for you and so on and you won't even tell us what happened?" Naruto groused and crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking slightly disgruntled, while the girl next to him only lowered her head and nodded helplessly, unhappy about having fallen out of favour with them this quickly.

"She can't tell you, because she doesn't remember anything." Kakashi explained in a calm and patient voice and now drew Naruto's attention to him.

"She doesn't remember anything?" Naruto raised an eyebrow and now turned back to the injured girl. "Like really nothing?"

Again she just shook her head and kept staring at her plate, somehow feeling ashamed of her own inadequacies.

"Nothing, nothing?" He frowned at her and bowed his head, while moving closer, so he could peer into her face. "Not even your name?"

"No." She sighed and sunk even farther down in her chair, wishing she was invisible.

"We can't leave it like that! You need a name, even if only for the time being." He grinned and now caused her to lift her head up and look at him, even though a brief second was all she managed.

"Yes, a name! Let's make something up!" Sakura clapped her hands and smiled at her team-mate. "There aren't many people who can choose their names themselves so it should be something fitting… what do you think?"

"Uhm… guess so…" She shrugged and received a beaming smile by the pinkette.

"Soo… what is your best feature or is there anything you are particularly good at?" Naruto folded his hands on the table and gazed at her with a serious face.

"I… don't know…"

"Maybe your favourite colour?" Sakura raised an eyebrow and cast an uneasy look at the other girl, who only shrugged in response.

"Any name or at least word you like?"

Again she just shook her head, feeling her headache return, but tried her best not to let it show, even though she couldn't keep her eyes from wandering around and always did some compulsive movements, really not much, just shifting her position, moving her fingers, contracting her muscles – just anything but sitting still.

"You're not much of a help." Naruto frowned and leaned back in his chair, his face directed to the ceiling. "Maybe we can use something about your appearance…" He suggested and turned his face back to her, scrutinizing her from head to toe.

"Ehm… or maybe not…" He grimaced awkwardly and she could feel how she had just turned awfully red underneath her bandages, so she was really glad they were there.

"NARUTO!" Sakura screeched and slammed her hand onto the table, shooting some deadly glares at Naruto, who then shrunk down on his chair, just like she had done, while murmuring some feeble apologies.

"We found her in a field of lilies, right next to that river." Sasuke participated in their conversation for the first time and at once drew Sakura's adoring looks towards him. It was really remarkable to see how she could switch from that aggressive grimace to a sweet smile in less than a second.

"That's right – what a great idea Sasuke-kun." She giggled and beamed at the dark-haired boy, while an irritated expression appeared on Naruto's face.

"What's so special about that? We all know where we found her – what has that to do with a name?" He shrieked and glared at his opposite, who held the gaze, but without looking anything but bored, which annoyed the blonde just all the more.

"Of course you don't understand that." She rolled her eyes, but then smiled at Sasuke again. "Liles and so on? Well… Sasuke-kun meant we'll just call her Sayuri then." She started giggling again, and missed the disbelieving look on Naruto's face, his eyes saying something like '_that's soo not what you meant'_, before she turned to the other girl. "So what do you think of that one?"

Now all eyes were focused on her again, waiting for her reaction.

"Yes… that's nice…" She murmured, relieved that this was over now and cast a thankful smile at Sasuke… …

He didn't return the smile though, and just looked as blank and yet melancholic as so often lately.

"What is it…?" She smiled uneasily and side-glanced at the man, who was watching her ever since she had started putting away the groceries she had bought this morning.

He didn't respond and kept leaning against a kitchen counter, right next to the door leading into the garden, while Sayuri resumed filling the cupboards, but kept her eyes fixed on him, still waiting for an explanation.

"I just wanna look at you…" He murmured after some time and walked a half circle around her, scrutinizing her the way an artist would his creation, before he brought his hands for support, using them to see through a blind man's eyes. Searching her skin for all these imperfections, the little flaws his eyes so readily missed.

"You could rather help me." She giggled once he pulled his lips away from hers and rested her hands on his chest, to keep some distance to him and look into his eyes.

"Those have to go into the fridge, too." She nodded at the two last full bags, standing beside two already empty ones – she really overdid it a little.

Sasuke gazed at the groceries for a couple of seconds, before he turned back to Sayuri and observed her through narrowed eyes and she really didn't know what to make of the sudden change in his expression.

"What took you so long?" He raised an eyebrow and now moved his hands from her hips to the counter behind her.

"Well… these are quite a lot of things, it takes some time." She shrugged and cast an uneasy look at him, which didn't get better as his expression became even more sullen.

"That's not what I meant." He said in a low voice and scowled at her. "Since when do you need three hours for doing the shopping?"

"Well… I also walked the dog and then I ran into Shikamaru and Naruto on my way to the store and we talked a little."

"Is that so… and you're sure you didn't train with that Hyuga as you always do on Wednesdays?"

"You're not serious, are you?" She asked, with a strained smile on her face, trying to just smile away this tense situation, but it just wouldn't jump over to her opposite's face.

"Why so defensive?" He looked at her with a firm face and she was sure that it really didn't matter what she'd say, he had already decided on what to believe. "Just answer the question."

"I already told you everything and training with Neji was no part of it." – Even though he was at least partly right – Neji had been with Shikamaru and Naruto, but she somehow felt like saying that now would only make things worse.

"But you tend to leave thing out when it comes to him. Isn't that what you said?" He hissed, looking really angry now and he no longer bothered to hide that.

"No. It's what _you_ said, but good to know how you think of me." She groused and sunk her teeth into the side of her cheek, offended even though he really was right, but it wasn't her fault – it's not like she wanted to lie to him, but he just didn't leave her another choice.

"Then what happened to your hands and knee?" He raised an eyebrow sceptically and looked at the rip in her leggings right on her knee, which was dirty as well, before he reached for her hands and turned them around to look at her scraped up palms.

"I tripped and fell." She defended herself, this time not lying, and gazed over his shoulder at the still open fridge. "And if you don't want our food to spoil right away, you let me past now, and I wanted to go to the hospital before lunchtime, so it would be nice if you'd stop this now."

"Pfft…" He hissed and let go of her hands before he leaned against the counter and crossed his arms in front of his chest, again regarding her though narrowed eyes.

"C'mon, don't give me that look…" She sighed, and ran a hand through her hair. This really wasn't going well. She couldn't believe he again started this whole thing with Neji – she knew his attitude towards the Hyuga, he had made that pretty clear three days ago, as he had tried to forbid her to ever see him again. Still she didn't think that any of this was really about Neji – he was most likely just an excuse for him to pick a fight with her. He was so very fond of arguing lately and she really couldn't stand that.

"If you don't want me to go, then just say so." She tried to soothe him – again going for a compromise that held hardly any advantages for her.

"Tze… like I cared…" He walked past her and closed the fridge, which had already started buzzing loudly.

"How nice of you…" She tried to hide her hurt behind a thick layer of sarcasm, but wasn't really successful. However Sasuke didn't let it show, whether he was aware of that or not and didn't react in any way to her words.

"If that's the case, why are we having this conversation, then?" She whined and stared at the small Uchiha crest on Sasuke's back, as he walked towards the door.

"Didn't you say you had to go?" He hissed coldly and gripped for the door-handle, but came to a stop as Sayuri raised her voice again.

"If you don't care, then why am I here anyway?" She wrapped her hands around her body to keep herself together and tried her best to stay calm and not give in to anything as stupid as tears.

"If you want to leave, then do so - no one is keeping you here." He said and walked out of the door without casting another look at her and now she stood there, counting the seconds until she would lose her composure and it really was only a matter of seconds, until the first tears forced their way into freedom.

She couldn't believe he had really just said that. Just what was going on with him? He would never talk to her this way – he wasn't exactly sensitive or a sweet talker, but this was just mean. Like she had done who knows what to him and that after he had first kissed her and had actually been so very nice to her today in general. But as it seemed he had changed his mind and had decided not to care about her any longer.

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and gazed through vacant eyes at the full bags next to the fridge, before she shook her head and walked out of the kitchen, heading upstairs into the bedroom.

Her feet carried her relentlessly towards the wardrobe and before she even knew what was happening, she sat in front of it, with her backpack in her hands and was packing her clothes. There were still tears in her eyes, but they just silently wandered down her cheeks and she was hardly aware of them. Almost in trance, she packed her things, at this point not even realizing what this meant for her, or maybe she just didn't want to realize so.

Then she slowly got up, apparently done already and now noticed his presence behind her, not even two metres away and she wondered how long he was standing there already and watched her back, but she was reluctant to turn around and look into his face, maybe hear him say goodbye before he'd volunteer carrying her bag out. Her body seemed to be beyond her control though and whether she wanted to or not, she slowly turned around… …

It seemed like a dream, even though she wasn't entirely sure, whether she should consider it as a good one or a bad one and she didn't dare make any sudden movements, because she feared that he would just fade away if she did.

But there he was, just about two or three metres away from her, looking as solid as ever, but still he had changed a lot from the way she remembered him. He still had the same black hair, which stuck up at the back of his head, somewhat like a duck's back and the same coal black eyes, even though they seemed to be even colder than they'd already been before, which she hadn't thought possible, but he sure proved her wrong.

This was just great. He was about the last person she had expected to see here and had wanted to see here – in this situation – and yet he was here, for who knows what reason.

Her eyes and her mouth were open in shock, rain was silently dripping from her hair and chin, joining the water in the puddles all around her feet, but the pattering of the rain was the only sound there was, even though she could think of at least a hundred things with which she could fill the silence, although at least ninety-nine of them seemed totally stupid and petty at the moment and she was still too shocked to utter the single rational one.

"You better go home now." He said, turning away from her and made his first steps back into the dark wood behind him.

"No, wait -" She begged and took a hasty step toward him, but in that very second she slipped on the wet rocks and lost her balance.

She thought she'd fall down, her body was bent at an angle that made it impossible for her to catch herself, but then she apparently didn't have to.

Sasuke was suddenly right in front of her, both his hands placed on her upper arms, keeping her from falling. He pulled her towards him until she was standing straight again, so close to him that she could easily see the dark rings under his eyes and the scratches on his face, even though it was already dark outside.

Her breath came in ragged gasps, she had already prepared for falling and needed a second to realize that she apparently didn't, that she was safe – saved by the man who had betrayed them almost three years ago, but who was apparently back now and right in time to save her from her certain death.

"I never meant to jump…" She murmured in a shaky voice and looked deep into Sasuke's pitch black eyes, watching his face harden again.

"And you think it's so much better to be alive?" He said in a low voice and narrowed his eyes into slits, causing a shocked expression to appear on Sayuri's face.

"You have nothing – no home, no family, no friends, no reason to carry on – your life is forfeited…" He hissed coldly and pushed her into the depth.

Before she even realized what happened she was already falling, still with a startled rather than a frightened face. But this wasn't a normal fall.

She floated through the air like a feather, much slower than the raindrops and she wondered if it was really her moving, or if it wasn't the ground which was so very slowly approaching her. It felt like she could just get up and walk away, before the ground would come at her, like the collision wasn't inevitable, wasn't lethal. But like a feather, she was at the mercy of the wind, the water pouring out of the sky and soaked through her clothes and made her heavier, called back the rules of gravity to her weightless fall. Then there was the ground and she squeezed her eyes shut, not bearing to witness her own end. Her eyes were closed. She was ready for the collision. She hit the ground and fell right through it… …

Dazedly she opened her eyes, feeling her head throb like it was going to implode any second now. A soft murmur sounded through the air, barely making it over the sound of her own breathing and then the cracking of her shoes as she rose to her feet.

It was one of these white dreams about freshly fallen snow that made the landscape disappear underneath it. It covered everything up, until the houses were invisible against this array of sheer whiteness.

She started walking, trying to find out where she was, looking for something familiar, or at least a path, which might lead her somewhere, anywhere – she really wasn't picky.

It was imposing, a feeling like infinity. At some point it became impossible to tell where the land ended and the sky began and everything was just huge and impressive and lonely and intimidating.

It didn't take long until the lack of anything started to drive her crazy and she was desperately searching for something that wasn't white, but there just wasn't – she herself seemed to have become invisible – there was no relief.

Then at some point everything turned black, as if something like snow blindness had made its unwelcome arrival and she no longer knew what was better – black nothingness or white nothingness.

She groped her way through the void, neither seeing, nor hearing anything, never touching anything. There was nothing.

She sunk to the ground, but nothing changed, as if she hadn't just moved, as if there was no solid ground under her feet, as if everything had stopped existing and she couldn't help but to start screaming… …

And screamed so loud that she woke herself up. She rose up and placed a hand on her chest, waiting for her heartbeat to calm down again, before she ran a hand through her long hair and squeezed her eyes shut tightly, willing all the pictures from her previous nightmares away.

What a sick mind she had to come up with something this stupid. But it wasn't all her fault. There was a reason why she was feeling the way she did now. She looked at the clock and saw that it was six o'clock, but she didn't know if in the morning or afternoon. Either way, she got up, got dressed and once she was outside, she knew it was evening already.

The sun was still up in the sky, would stay there an hour or two longer, which meant she had slept through the whole day. Usually she wasn't really a long sleeper, but at the moment everything was different anyway – she switched from no sleep to too much sleep and back again and it was really beginning to wear her out, or was long doing so.

Actually she had gone out, because she couldn't stand being indoors any longer, just for the sake of getting some fresh air, some purposeless strolling around. Yet her feet were determinedly carrying her forwards and she wondered where she'd end up. She didn't have to do any thinking, her body just moved on its own, even when she did try to stir it, it just didn't respond and kept moving towards the centre of Konoha, before taking a turn to the left and now she knew where she was going to.

She didn't want to see him, not after what happened. She couldn't just walk up there after they had only just broken up. They had broken up. It still seemed unreal to her. They hadn't even said so, but after what happened it was somehow clear. They just had to look at each other and at once knew that this was the end. The consequence of the last weeks, but especially of his last action; after he had used her to satisfy his own needs without really caring about how she felt about that – that was probably the most euphemistic way of saying this, but if she put it like this it hurt less. And fact is she hadn't even let him know that she didn't want that. First they had even kissed, kind of like they always did and yet it was different although it's not like he ever asked her when she was ready, it just happened. Maybe it was the same now – it had also _just happened_ – the only difference was that she hadn't been ready this time. He had caught her off guard and she hadn't even told him to stop. Even so she was sure he knew the difference, he hadn't even looked at her and then that desperate, guilty face. Same as her, he had known exactly what he was doing – so the question was why? Why had he decided to take something she would have given him anyway? It was just too confusing and now it was over. They were done. After they had been a year together – happy together or at least she thought so – it was over.

Somehow she had already known that this is what it would lead to the first time he had told her to leave. Not so much these words but rather the look in his eyes. He had seemed desperate and unsettled and she had known that he hadn't just said so, it hadn't just been the alcohol, but he had really meant that. She had hoped she was wrong. Had just as always tried to convince herself into believing that she was mistaken, but now reality had caught up to her again and she wished she hadn't been so foolish and gullible. Wished she hadn't turned a blind eye to everything, so she could have seen all of this coming and could have prepared for it.

Even from a distance she could see the red and white Uchiha crests on the dark-blue cloth hanging above the entrance of the Uchiha quarter. The place that had been somewhat her home for the last months.

Everything inside her screamed and protested, but nothing of her resistance reached the outside and so she carried on walking and wondered if she had really woken up or if this was just another dream, another one of these stupid nightmares. It would fit. She seemed to be led by a foreign power, like she was a marionette, controlled by her own twisted mind, so maybe she really was sleeping still and would wake up to realize that nothing had happened. Nothing ever happened.

Maybe she really just dreamed it. She was asleep so often lately and her dreams were getting all the more vivid and she remembered them more and more frequently than she used to, so maybe she had gotten that confused. Had confused her dreams with reality. It wouldn't be the first time. But just now, she felt so numb and dizzy and somehow insignificant – after all she wasn't even able to decide where she walked to. It was like she was sleepwalking and she almost believed it never actually happened, was determined to believe that it never did. Maybe she dreamed a lot of things. Things that she thought had happened in her life. Things she thought she had done. Things that had been done to her. Wouldn't it be great to think that the real you was asleep somewhere and you were actually just dreaming a life? To think that there was another you somewhere else on the planet, at this moment living the life that was actually meant for you. The very life you always yearned for, while you struggled so hard to cope with your own existence, engaged in fruitless attempts to make sense of your place in the world. Wouldn't that be great? She'd love to think that most of it had just been dreaming.

Now there was the door in front of her, with the red sunshade on the left and the by now pretty big box tree, they had bought together last summer. Dream or not she didn't want to go there. She couldn't think of anything to say to him and most of all didn't want to see him right now. This whole thing had really worn her out, you could even tell so by looking at her and it would be like yet another slap in the face to see that he wasn't in the least affected by what happened. To see that he was doing well, when she so clearly wasn't.

Yet she walked up to the door, wondering where all her cowardice had gone to and what had gotten into her anyway, but before she could figure it out, she had already knocked. Actually there was no need for her to do so, the door was rarely ever locked and she had a key, so she could just go in. But then this didn't seem to be her home any longer – had never really seemed so, but now even less than before and going in just didn't seem right and not only because she didn't want to do so anyway.

She listened into the silence, waiting for something to happen, trying her best to come up with a last minute excuse to justify her being here at all, so she wouldn't just stand there, so stunned by his mere presence that she wouldn't be able to utter a single word. Just stand there, gape at him and embarrass herself, and then it would probably start raining so she'd look like a drowned rat to crown it all.

She heard some steps now, soon drowned out by her racing heart and she still didn't know what to say. Then the door was slowly opened and even though she wanted to run away and hide, as long as there was still time to, her legs just wouldn't let her.

"Sayuri?"

Her eyes widened to their fullest and just as predicted she just stood there and gaped at the person in the doorway, unable to get even a single word out of her mouth.

"What brings you here?"

It didn't seem like she'd get out of this paralysis any time soon and yet she managed to at least choke out some sounds. "K-Karin?"

"Long time no see…" The redhead flashed an affected smile at her and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

She was right. She hadn't seen Karin in months and it's not like she had been sorry about it. However this was about the last place she wanted to see her at. Especially not now after he had just broken up with her. Was that maybe why she was here? Did she know it already and had at once been there to '_console'_ him? Or had he maybe gone to her right away and had just replaced her? Or worse even, was she maybe the reason why he had behaved so strangely in the last weeks? Did he start something with Karin again and realized that he liked the redhead much more than he liked her and had just searched for a way to get out of their relationship again?

Here again she was left speechless and the ex-nuke-nin regarded her with a raised eyebrow and leaned back against the doorframe, resting her hands on her taut and round belly. Sayuri's mouth dropped open and she couldn't drag her eyes away from her, which Karin watched with a mean smile on her lips.

"Y-You're… preg…nant?"

This couldn't be happening, it had to be a dream, it just had to.

"Surprised?" The redhead gave a laugh and rubbed pointedly over her stomach. "I told you he was mine, didn't I?"

"Who is it?" They perceived Sasuke's voice from within and with a much brighter smile, Karin turned around now and called. "Oh, just one of the others."

Still with a mean sneer on her face Karin pushed herself off the doorway and placed a hand on the door.

"Well then, goodbye Sayuri-chan – oh, and I guess I speak for the two of us when I ask you not to come here again – so then, have a nice life." She grinned and slammed the door in her face… …


	20. Confusion part 2

**20. **** Confusion part 2**

… She still couldn't believe this really happened and stared with a vacant expression at the closed door, before it flew open again and in stormed a still pretty irritated looking blonde woman.

She cast a severe glance at her student as she walked into her office and at once moved towards the dark-blue couch at the other end of it, where she slumped down while heaving a weary sigh.

After a couple of seconds Sayuri turned around to her and already found her master looking at her and there was mainly exhaustion in her face, but then she had folded her hands in front of it, so she couldn't really see too much of it.

None of them said anything for quite a while. Tsunade just kept staring at her student, while that one was busy with staring at her hands.

"I'm sorry for having screamed at you before, but what you did was unacceptable – I hope for your sake that you have a good explanation. So?" The Godaime rested her hands on her knees and sat up straight, motioning the violet-haired girl to sit down next to her.

After a brief second of hesitation, Sayuri walked up to her and took a seat, mainly out of courtesy, because she really didn't feel like sitting at the moment.

So now, she wanted a good explanation. That could become pretty hard, since she didn't understand anything about what happened herself, so how could she possibly make her understand?

"Sayuri." She said her name in a firm voice and leaned a bit to the front to peer into her face.

"Hmm?" Sayuri looked up as she was ripped out of her thoughts and her reaction caused the Godaime to let out another deep sigh.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked with an authority in her voice, that made Sayuri sure there was no avoiding this conversation. "You're one of my best students, so I'm certain that you didn't act out of conviction – you definitely know better than that and actually you're not one to be careless either, so what is going on?"

"I… I really don't know – I didn't even realize that I was doing it…" Sayuri murmured and lowered her head, burying her face in her hands. "I just don't know…"

"You're having any problems?" Tsunade's voice was much calmer now and she regarded her student with a worried expression, even though she couldn't see too much of her face, since her dark hair was hiding it.

"… I think I'm getting ill…" The young kunoichi mumbled into her hands, not really a lie, but most likely not the reason for all of this.

Tsunade scrutinized her closely, before she placed a hand on Sayuri's forehead, causing her to put her hands down and sit straight again.

"You do have a temperature." She sounded almost surprised, as if she hadn't believed her. "Since when are you feeling bad?"

"Uhm… I don't know… actually since quite some time… it always gets better but then comes back again…" She sighed and leaned back into the couch, as if the fact that she now knew that she had a fever, made her aware of that and she felt warm and lousy or maybe she just saw it as a permission to give in to feeling miserable.

"A protracted illness?"

"I guess so… I think it started after I've had that food poisoning about a month or two ago."

"Hmm… that must have weakened your immune system, so it would make sense. You should take some time off and don't you dare come back before you're not a hundred percent healthy." She said and now drew Sayuri's gaze towards her. "You're a medic-nin, which means you bear a great responsibility – you should know your limits and not overdo it. In case you should ever endanger a patient like that, you won't take part in any high-ranked missions any longer."

It was hard, but she was right, as a medic-nin she had to be as fit as a fiddle at all times or else it meant she might endanger the people she was supposed to care for – just like she had done today, so Sayuri sucked in her bottom lip and nodded weakly, before she gazed to the floor at her feet… …

But the fog was so dense that she could barely see them. This was insane. This wasn't some kind of game – they were really serious. This was a real fight – real – with winners and losers and wounded and maybe even dead persons. Just to think that these people she had only gotten to know about a week ago could stop existing any second now. Just like that. This morning they had still been eating breakfast together and maybe some of them might not be there for dinner any more. Maybe all of them – her included.

Kakashi had even said that they didn't stand a chance – that Naruto and Sasuke were no match for that masked boy and he himself had to fight against Zabuza. The last time he fought him he'd been out cold for nearly a week and now he even had to worry about his students and his client, so fighting would become even harder for him.

She had never seen him fight anyway, and she couldn't really imagine him doing so. He was so nice and a bit scatterbrained at times and this guy… he was a killer – a professional killer – how in the world should Kakashi stand a chance against him? He was even wounded already, in that short time. But there was something about _Sharingan_ – Sakura had seemed really excited as she heard that, but up to now it hadn't done too much good yet and Zabuza sure didn't seem impressed.

"I have already seen through the trivial system of that eye." Zabuza said and raised two fingers up in front of his entirely bandaged mouth.

"Ninpou, Hidden Mist no Jutsu."

Suddenly the fog became even denser and the grey-haired ninja slowly faded from her sight, as if he had turned into a ghost and even Sakura and Tazuna, who were standing right beside her, were for the most part obscured by an opaque grey mass, like a cloud had fallen out of the sky and they were now trapped in it.

"Sakura! Protect Tazuna and Sayuri!" Kakashi called out and judging from the direction his voice came from, he was sill standing at the same spot as before and yet he just wasn't there any more and neither was Zabuza, which was even more alarming.

"Yes." Sakura agreed and Sayuri could feel her squeeze past her, so she was now standing in front of her and the bridge builder, standing there as if she could really do something if it came to it; in case the others failed.

There was some noise, like that of metal against metal and then steps and they still couldn't see anything; had no idea what was going on not even ten metres away from them. Then a scream, coming from where Naruto and Sasuke were fighting, and then again silence.

"What is going on there?" Tazuna murmured, his voice sounding awed, scared maybe. None of them knew what was going on. They were all blind and helpless; it could be over any second now, without them even noticing it. The others could all be dead already without them having noticed it.

She was scared. Really, really scared. She had no idea how they could do that. How they could just stand there and fight when they didn't know if they'd survive it or not. She was entirely paralysed at the moment. Even if she had wanted to, or had been forced to, like them, she probably wouldn't have been able to move.

She could already feel a wave of panic well up in her, even though she wasn't in any immediate danger presumably. At least as far as she could tell. All her muscles were tensed and she was trying her best to listen for any sounds that might tell her where they were, what happened at the moment, anything, but again her overly nervous heart made it hard for her to perceive anything but its beating and she wondered if it was the same with the others.

She squeezed her eyes shut, since it didn't seem to make a difference anyway and she hoped it would calm her. With her eyes closed she started counting down, but same as on the day she woke up in Tazuna's house, she was surprised to find out that she could still see something. She had actually forgotten about that already. There had been so many different things lately and even though her brain was apparently empty it hadn't really bothered to memorize that.

She couldn't see well, but she could see and the harder she concentrated the better it became, still not good, but she was able to make out Kakashi's silhouette in the thick fog. She wasn't even sure if it was really him, the contours were too blurred and they seemed to swim in her vision, so it was hard to make out his exact body form, but still she was sure it was the grey-haired ninja. But then where was the other one? The enemy? The person she saw wasn't moving, which is probably what made her so sure that it was Kakashi – he was the defensive one, preparing himself for an attack by Zabuza. So where was he?

She concentrated harder, giving up on listening for sounds and scanned the area in front of her. She could feel the headache, she suffered from so often lately return, but she couldn't afford paying attention to it now, allowing it to break her concentration. Still there was nothing but that shadow that was presumably Kakashi and something big in the distance, right where the boys were fighting.

Then she saw something. A quickly moving shadow, looking like a negative image of lightning, but then she lost track of it and could again feel her heart-rate increase considerably, as she desperately searched for that something again.

"Behind you!" She called out, as she saw another man appear behind the Hatake, who emitted a surprised sound, but then ducked down, just in time to avoid being cut in halves by Zabuza's ridiculously huge sword.

He jumped backwards, raising his kunai, while Zabuza shouldered his sword and bent his knees, going into a fighting stance.

"Luck… the next time you'll see me, will be the last time." The nuke-nin murmured, again raising up two fingers, before he seemed to become one with the mist just like before.

"What…?" Kakashi murmured and scanned his surroundings, but his opponent was nowhere to be seen.

He was really gone, it wasn't like he had moved away quickly, he had just dissolved and Sayuri was no longer able to see him. She took a step to the side, so it was easier to peer past Sakura and noticed to her surprise that the other girl was apparently trembling as much as she was.

"To your left!"

She still hadn't really seen him, but there had been some kind of change in the atmosphere, in this TV-like flickering that reminded a bit of rain, as if it had suddenly been sucked towards Kakashi.

The Jounin jumped to the side, a bit into their direction and even while he was still in mid air there was a loud crash and she now saw that Zabuza had slammed his sword into the ground, right where his opponent had stood not even a second ago.

"You can see him?" The Hatake asked, still with his eyes fixed on the point the noise had come from and where the nuke-nin was still standing.

"I-I think so…" She stammered, not having anticipated being talked to, which resulted in her attention slipping for a moment and once she regained it again, Zabuza had vanished from her sight.

"Then become my eyes." The Jounin murmured, receiving a consenting sound in return, before he went into a fighting stance again and raised his kunai up in front of his face.

Sayuri took a step to the front, so there was no one in her way and did her best in tracking the Demon of the Hidden Mist, but that was far easier said than done. She didn't know how he did it, but apparently he was able to become invisible – something she wanted ever since she had woken up – therefore she gave up on searching for any silhouettes, but looked out for those alterations in their surroundings, just some trace of movement that might give away his position, like it had done before.

"In front of you!" She shrieked, fearing that it was already too late, close as he was, but the Hatake seemed to have incredible reflexes and succeeded in blocking his attack. It looked weird how he managed to withstand that huge sword with his little kunai, but he somehow did it and now they stood there engaged in a fierce trial of strength.

"Seems like I wasn't the only one who picked a useful tool." Zabuza murmured in a low voice, before he used his free hand to pick out a kunai by himself and with a flick of his fingers it flew straight towards their little group.

"Watch out!" She pushed Sakura to the side and used the momentum to push herself backwards as well, before she raised up her arms reflexively to cover her face… …

Her small hands were clutching her face tightly, as if they meant to keep it from crumbling apart, while flows of crimson liquor started gushing out from between her cramped fingers. She thought she would suffocate, until she concentrated on breathing through her mouth only, fearing that her nose was broken, since it was entirely congested with blood and sent a painful throbbing through every single bone in her face, but fortunately she soon found out, or at least assumed that it was more or less okay – if you didn't consider pain as a benchmark at least.

Still lying on her side, she supported herself with one arm and tried to push herself up, but as soon as she sat straight, a dark curtain started to obscure her view, so she pressed her watery eyes shut and tried to fight the feeling of dizziness and vertigo that was taking over her head and made it feel heavy and yet weightless all the same.

With slow steps Sasuke walked towards her and bent down right in front of the badly injured girl, heaving her up by wrapping his hand around her throat and slamming her limp body against the thick tree trunk behind her. He lifted her upwards, until her face was on one height with his and started adding to the pressure on her throat.

Sayuri's eyes popped open, as her airways constricted and the oxygen became scarcer. Even then, she still tried to touch the ground with her toes, but they only swayed loosely in the air, until she was able to touch a small root with the tip of her foot and rested it on it.

Not that it would help her.

She led her hands to his and tried to loosen his grip, clawing her nails deep into his skin, but failed in making him let go of her.

A narrow ray of light broke through the low, black clouds and illuminated the two shinobi, who had apparently reached the final phase of their fight.

This was it now. She would die here. She had thought it would hurt a lot; after all he was strangling her, he squeezed his fingers so tightly into the skin of her neck that no more air managed to reach her lungs. So tightly that her brain was about to stop working any moment now. But she didn't really feel the pain, even though her body apparently did and performed all these instinctive, reflexive movements; all the emergency strategies it could come up with, to ease it as best as possible.

She waited for these films, the memories of her whole life, maybe even the suppressed once, to run before her eyes. Rush away in fast forward, so she wouldn't miss a second of her life in the limited time she still had. She expected to finally see her family, to finally know who she was, what happened to her and all these things. She even expected to grasp the meaning of life with the last breath she took or rather not took and suddenly she wasn't afraid of dying. Instead she tried to extract those very little advantages from the inevitable, but they just wouldn't show up. There were no films, no memories, no sudden revelations, no mysteries people had to die for to unravel them, just nothing. All she saw were his now again pitch black eyes, the very opposite to the light tunnel she had expected to see.

His eyes seemed to become bigger. The black flowing out of their sockets, beginning to fill her field of vision. She would have never thought it would really come to this. She had believed in him to the very last second, had believed in the good in him, had believed that somewhere deep inside of him, there was still that boy she had gotten to know about three or four years ago, the one that didn't hesitate to risk his life for the sake of his friends – had saved her life for quite some times, but like so often she must have been wrong. She was about to die here. Die here at his hands.

Her body started twitching, electric currents running through her nerve tracks, as no more oxygen reached her brain. One of her arms sunk down and dangled loosely at her side, but she had bored the nails of the other one so deep into his flesh that they remained stuck in it. Her lids started fluttering down, finally winning the fight over her watery, bloodshot eyes that were now staring at some distant place, no one but her was able to see.

She felt everything. All the pain she hadn't been able to feel before. It was all there now and she had to scream, but she just wasn't able to open her mouth, she didn't have any control over herself, so she had to do all the screaming in her head, hoping she could build up enough pressure to bring her head to burst. To shoot out her eyes and splatter her bloody contents all over the place. Shocking as it might be, it seemed beautiful and just preferable to the pain she went through right now. She had thought dying would be quick, like everything would just stop from one second to the next, but it seemed to last an eternity. Maybe this wasn't dying any more, but being in hell.

Then it stopped.

Sasuke loosened his grip a little, and it felt like his fingers had fused with her skin, so it wasn't really relieving. He just stared at her blood-covered face that was slowly taking on its former ashen complexion again, while her chapped, swollen lips were likewise drained of all colour and trembled, as she tried to suck in more air than her damaged windpipe would allow.

His hand still rested on her delicate neck, without exerting more pressure than it took to keep her from sinking down. He lightly trailed his thumb over her collarbone and perceived how her entire body shook violently, from every breath she forced into her lungs. Her head had grown so heavy that she was unable to keep it from tilting forward, even though it made breathing even more arduous for her.

As she had finally recollected herself, as best as was possible considering her current condition, she raised her head up again and leaned it against the tree trunk behind her, to keep it from dropping forwards again.

Her eyes were still slightly unfocused, but she met Sasuke's gaze at once, as she found him staring at her. She looked into his deep black eyes that seemed to bore into hers, seeing far beyond the limits of flesh and bone. The intense eye-contact caused a cold shiver to run down her spine, so she extended the range of her vision, taking in his bloody and exhausted and yet somehow churning and expectant face.

She flinched, as she felt how he moved his hands upwards again, almost reaching the sore parts of skin that were adorned by the dark marks, his fingers had left on it.

Her breathing accelerated.

Eyes widening in fear.

Was he about to pick up from where he left off?

Her chest heaved rapidly up and down.

Her heart was beating so violently that her ears throbbed with each pulse of blood.

Her thoughts were racing and ricocheting through her mind.

This was it. Her end. Again that pain. That unbearable pain it would come again – he'd send her through hell once again.

His hand still moved upwards. His fingers falling into the places they had left their imprints on before.

A cold breeze came up, sweeping through her dark hair and tossing it into her face, highlighting the ghostly paleness of her battered skin. She pressed her body against the tree trunk behind her, oblivious of the branches and twigs that bored into her back. All that mattered was to get away from him. Get away from this pain and death bringing being she used to see as a friend.

She narrowed her eyes and fixed them on his again, realizing that his face was now clouded by a blank and almost pensive expression, his eyes slightly unfocused.

He was distracted.

Maybe it wasn't over just yet.

She took a deep breath. Mobilizing the little strength she still had left, before she clenched her fists tightly and rammed her knee into his crotch.

His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and he let out a choked gasp, letting go of the girl at once, who hence sunk down and landed on the ground right before his feet. Sayuri observed what her low-blow had done to him. A cheap trick, admittedly, but the prospect of death made one insensible to things like social conventions or fairness.

He was in a lot of pain, his contorted features and his crouched posture gave that away quite well. She could take the chance to run, however she doubted that she'd be able to walk even a couple of metres in her condition, before he caught up to her – really angry this time, so running was not an option.

Another wave of panic rolled over her. Froze her in place, but then her eyes fell on one of the kunai, she had thrown at him in the course of their fight, lying right next to her. She put all her strength into overcoming the mental paralysis, as well as the physical exhaustion and was able to enclose her shaking fingers around the small dagger.

With her free hand, she pushed herself up from the ground, hardly able to keep on her feet, so she didn't really try, but stumbled with raised kunai towards her opponent, who stood hardly more than a metre in front of her, literally falling against him, while ramming her weapon into his right shoulder.

They both fell to the ground. Sayuri landed on top of her former team-mate and forced her kunai even deeper into his shoulder, practically pinning him to the ground, before she let her head drop forward and rested her forehead on his chest, taking a couple of deep breaths and pressing her eyes together, to fight the dizziness that swamped over her.

Except for the agonized gasp, the Uchiha had let out, once they'd fallen to the ground, he remained completely still and unmoving. If it wasn't for his wheezing breathing noises and the heavy heaving of his chest, you wouldn't be able to tell whether he was dead or alive.

After her breathing had steadied considerably, even though there was some kind of rattling every time she inhaled, Sayuri tightened the grip of her cramped fingers on the kunai and pulled it out of his shoulder, causing the raven-haired man to suck in a sharp breath through his clenched teeth. She then put her flat hand on Sasuke's bandaged chest, so that she could push herself upwards and looked into his face, completely ignoring the pained hiss, coming from the raven-haired man and held the kunai to his throat, pushing it firmly enough against it, to cause a small cut to open where it touched his skin.

From the corner of her eyes, she saw how he tried to move his arm, however all he managed was to wiggle his fingers a little - she'd been able to hit him right where she had meant to, paralyzing his other arm as well.

Her mouth opened and fell shut again. A tiny drop of blood trickled from her parted lips and landed on his collarbone, running down his chest until it reached the already soaked bandages, which were covering his torso and mingled with his own blood. Sayuri observed how the only just darker spot, blended with the rest of the crimson liquor until it was imperceptible, before she turned to look into the Uchiha's eyes again. His face had taken on its usual unreadable expression again, if it wasn't for all the cuts and bruises, covering his entire body, you wouldn't even know that he was in pain.

With an uneasy expression on her face, Sayuri opened her mouth again, but nothing more than a hoarse croak escaped her lips, so she tried to clear her throat, even though it felt like someone pulled barbed wire up her windpipe, and tried speaking again.

"…Why…?" Her voice was hardly more than a husky and yet high-pitched rasp, barely able to drown out the sound of the flowing waterfall, she had completely forgotten about up to now. Sasuke didn't show any sign that he had understood her; his coal black eyes just remained fixed on her, but he didn't utter a single syllable, so she repeated her question again, a saddened undercurrent clearly audible in her weak voice: "Why did you do it?"

Her voice failed at the end of her question and tears started filling her eyes again, liquefying the dried blood on her cheeks as they came in contact with it and burning in her open wounds like acid.

He was still eyeing her pensively, before he closed his eyes for a couple of seconds and inhaled deeply: "You won – aren't you supposed to kill me now?"

Sayuri gasped in shock – this sure wasn't what she had expected. He was probably mocking her – thinking that she wouldn't be able to do it anyway, but his face didn't really look like that. This wasn't his usual haughty and arrogant expression.

He looked…

…sad?

Maybe not. It was really hard to tell. Had she ever seen him sad before?

Worried? – Yes.

Angry? – Definitely.

But sad? She knew that he must have been sad, after everything that happened, there was no way around it and he had been all alone for such a long time and yet he had never shown any signs of distress or sorrow, but had kept all his emotions locked up inside him, invisible to anyone but him.

She scrutinized his features carefully, noticing how he raised an eyebrow in response to her puzzled stare. A challenge? – Was he teasing her after all… …?

She held his gaze, with a provoking look on her own, but before she knew what happened, he tackled her down and she spat out most of the Sake again and started coughing. Then, only a second later Sasuke was right above her and before she could even protest and remind him that they were in a restaurant, with other people around and all that stuff, his lips crushed on hers and she no longer cared about these things herself.

He positioned himself between her legs and she reflexively raised her knees up and wrapped her arms around his neck, while grabbing a fistful of his dark hair.

He let out a guttural growl and sunk his teeth into her bottom lip, before he slid his tongue into her mouth and stroked it over hers. A stifled moan escaped her and she ran her hands over his back, feeling his hard muscles under her palms, felt them through the bothersome fabric of his thick pullover.

He moved down, kissing her lips, her chin, her neck going all the way, not leaving out a single of her favourite spots and there were quite many, but she blamed it on him. If he tired hard enough he could turn every section of her skin into a favourite spot.

With her eyes shut, she lengthened her neck, oblivious of anything but his warm lips and his hands wandering down her waist. He bit into her neck teasingly, causing her to cringe and giggle, before she opened her eyes and looked at Neji. He seemed determined to look away from them, but his eyes always trailed off into their direction and there was a disgusted look on his face.

Now that he found her looking at him as well, he didn't turn away again and kept his pale eyes fixed on her hazy blue ones. There was something reproachful in them, but she couldn't really figure it out, since in that second, Sasuke moved his hands along her thighs, causing her to inhale sharply while squeezing her eyes shut. When she opened them again, Neji was still staring at her and she wanted him to stop that. This was a moment of privacy – intimacy – even though she very well knew that they were surrounded by people, but still he could at least have the decency to look away.

'_Stop it'_ she mouthed the words, but then looked away again as Sasuke's face was right above hers and after kissing her lightly, he licked across her face, causing her to wrinkle her nose and emit a disgusted '_yuck'_, but then couldn't help but to giggle and moved her head up to kiss him herself. The kiss became rougher and he pushed her to the ground, her head landing with a light thud on the carpeted floor. His hand moved down to her legs again, his fingers dug into her knee and pushed it to the side, while his head moved to her neck again and no longer kept her from seeing the Hyuga.

'_Is this what you want_?' He whispered, so quietly that she only understood what he said by watching his lips, but Sayuri was unable to respond, because in that second Sasuke nibbled at the sensitive spot under her ear. The one spot that made her melt in seconds. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she dug her fingers into his shoulders.

This was going too far. They were still in a restaurant, even though she barely noticed that any longer, her mind entirely clouded with pleasure. Then he bit into her neck again, not like before. Not playfully or teasingly, but he really bit her – taking the expression '_eat you alive'_ far too literal. She could feel his teeth sink into her skin and ripped her eyes open, trying her best to suppress a pained outcry and she no longer knew what to feel. Her whole body was still shivering with desire and now there was pain. This change was too fast, too sudden and she had no idea what this was all about.

"_You disgust me.'_ Neji shook his head and turned away from her, instead of helping her. She wanted to tell him to stop, but then what they did was embarrassing enough, she couldn't just make a scene of it now. Therefore she tried to push him away, sunk her nails deeper into his shoulders, trying to hurt him. He pulled back after a couple of seconds and ran his tongue over the wound on her neck, before he pressed his lips onto hers again, as if it was something completely natural to do.

She kissed him back, going along with his act, before she slipped away from under him and sat up, closely followed by him. She gripped her glass of Sake and drained it, mainly tasting her own blood his kiss had left on her lips, before she directed her attention to the people in front of her, pretending they hadn't made out in a restaurant, pretending there was no blood covering her lips, running down her neck.

No one seemed to mind anyway, as if they didn't see it and if she wouldn't feel the warm liquid run down her skin or feel the stinging, numbing pain, which got worse with every throbbing of her carotid, she'd probably doubt it ever happened. So she started chatting to Ino, who was sitting next to Kiba, but that one seemed entirely distant, the way he stared at his cup and hadn't exchanged a single word with his girlfriend yet.

"Oh! Is yours also so jealous…? And I mean _really_ jealous…" Sayuri asked in a much louder voice now, with her eyes sparkling. "If it was up to him, I'd probably never get to leave the house again…But that's natural isn't it? Some kind of compensation for insecurity… whatever…"

"Uhm… you know that they can hear us… don't you?" Ino asked hesitantly and cast an uneasy side-glance at the man next to her, who didn't look like he was even listening though.

"Yes, _precious_…" Sasuke pulled his girlfriend closer to him and looked down at her with a raised eyebrow.

"You know that we can hear you, don't you?" He smirked and placed a long kiss right under her ear, not the nice kind of kiss, but one that was supposed to make her shut up.

"Ehe…" She pulled away from him, wanting some distance after what had only just happened and now a wayward look appeared on her face and she carried on talking, the words coming fast, as if she was afraid she wouldn't get to finish them if she wouldn't make haste. "Oh and he is completely incapable of showing his feelings – not to speak of putting them into words… except for anger maybe – anger is probably the only emotion he just can't hold back…"

"At least I do voice my anger and not just bottle everything up and then burst into tears and still won't tell what it is about." Sasuke countered and regarded her through narrowed eyes, seeming kind of pleased about seeing the shocked expression on Sayuri's face and at once used the chance to top that.

"And I don't stand in front of the mirror and wail about having gained weight."

"But I really have!" She protested in a high pitched voice, while a pout formed on her lips.

"If you'd really look at me, you would have seen it. But you…" She shot a venomous side-glance at the Uchiha, before she turned back to Ino and leaned closer over the table, but didn't drop her volume. "Does Kiba ever look at you with so much loathe in his eyes that you could start crying at once and would best like to gorge his eyes out so you'd never have to see that again?"

"N-no…" Ino stuttered uneasily, not even knowing if an answer was expected at this point.

"Or does he ever touch you so roughly that it leaves you black and blue?"

Now Ino merely shook her head, not knowing what to say, just like all the other people at the table, who were now all mutely staring at them, like silent jurors in court.

"See that? Other men don't do that to their girlfriends. What do you know…" She pressed her lips into a thin line and glowered at her boyfriend, who had now erected himself and looked down at her, already displaying his superiority, before he launched his counterattack.

"Unlike someone else I'm at least able to manage my life. I didn't try to kill myself just because life has gone off the rainbow road for a moment, right Sayuri-chan?" Sasuke sneered self-complacently, already knowing that he won this round and that she wouldn't be able to say anything to that.

"That is… I never… you're a liar! A mean liar!" She whined and wrapped her arms around her body, taking on a defensive posture.

"Hn." He grinned smugly and stroked over her head degradingly. "Enough now. Let's go." He rose to his feet and offered her a hand, which she took at once, allowing him to pull her up before he let go again.

"You're leaving already?" Naruto looked at them with a puzzled face. "C'mon – it's far too early to go home."

The way he said that, you could really believe that he wanted them to stay, like they had been a pleasant company and hadn't just fought here in front of all these people.

"No. It's enough for tonight." Sasuke said and started walking.

"Then goodbye!" Naruto waved and then Hinata and Sakura to his sides did so too… …

"Have a good trip and thank you for everything. Without you we could have never completed the bridge. Make sure to drop in whenever you're near." Tazuna said in his deep, booming voice and smiled at the group of people in front of him, whereas Inari, right beside him, looked like he was about to start crying any second now.

So this was it now. She had spent the last three weeks with these people, had gotten to know them, had grown comfortable around them and had gone through really hard times with them – these brief, platonic relationships were all she had and now it was over.

They were saying goodbye to each other, one group to the other and she stood somewhere in the middle, feeling completely lost because she didn't know what this meant for her now. Would she stay here, would she go with them or would she maybe do something entirely different? She really didn't know and no one seemed to pay attention to her.

She couldn't just ask them if she could stay with them. She couldn't force herself on any of these people. Maybe they'd feel compelled to say yes then, just because they were polite, when in reality they didn't want that. So what was there to do, other than standing here and hoping that someone might take her by the hand and have her go with them?

"Inari you're sad right? It's alright to cry!" Naruto murmured with a not really convincing smile on his face.

"I'm not going to cry, but you can cry if you have to!" Inari screeched, barely able to keep his composure any longer.

"Fine… Later…" Naruto spun around on his heels and wandered off under Sakura's uncomprehending eyes and now the first tears began streaming down Inari's and apparently also Naruto's face.

Tazuna put a hand on his grandson's shoulder and smiled at his daughter, before he turned around and they started leaving with a last goodbye. When Sayuri turned around, she saw that Naruto and Sasuke had started walking off as well and Sakura and Kakashi looked like they were about to join them.

This was the last chance. She'd have to ask someone now, otherwise she'd just keep on standing here, all alone and then what? The prospect of what she was going to do all by herself scared her and yet she just couldn't get herself to just open her mouth.

"What are you going to do now?" Sakura ripped her out of her thoughts, with the very question that ghosted through her mind as well and even though she was glad that they apparently hadn't forgotten about her, she didn't know what to say now.

"I-I… don't know…" She murmured and looked to the ground, those words coming out of her mouth only confirming her helplessness, which made things even worse.

"You're coming with us of course!" Naruto had come to a stop and turned around while wiping his cheeks.

"Stupid pollen." He sniffled, his voice still thick with tears.

"Those nasty sea-pollen, eh?" Sasuke sneered, just to point out how illogic Naruto's excuse was, even though they all knew so anyway.

Now Naruto started eagerly defending himself and tried to talk himself out of it, while Kakashi turned his back to the two quarrellers and looked at Sayuri.

"Hokage-sama has never sent a needy person away, so I can already assure you that you would be welcome in Konoha-Gakure, if you should decide to come with us." Kakashi said in a calm voice and added: "You could become a ninja, just like all of us." He moved his head towards his students, who had now all approached them again. "You'd have to go to the academy and become a Genin first, but as it seems you are already did absolve some sort of training, so maybe you could shorten the time."

"I don't know…" She rattled off her favourite sentence – she used it so often, that Naruto had said they should have rather named her the indecisive one – it would be far more fitting and he was definitely right about that, but then she liked her name much better, so she stuck with it. She doubted that he had been serious anyway.

"I don't think I could…" She murmured and looked to the ground, knowing that they were all staring at her.

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, still with some last tears in his eyes, but his voice was as loud and clear as usual.

"During that fight… I've been scared. So scared that I was barely able to move – I couldn't have fought even if I had to…" She explained, her grey-blue eyes still focussed on the pavement.

"We were all scared – that is natural. Everyone is afraid, but it is about what you make of your fear. You have to overcome it and use it to your advantage instead of letting it paralyse you and that's what you did." Kakashi closed his eyes and smiled at her, again that reassuring smile. "You did really well – if it hadn't been for you this whole thing might have ended differently…"

She was sure he only said that to encourage her, but even so it worked. He was not only offering her a home but also a purpose – giving her a chance to start a new life until she'd remember her old one.

"I'd be really grateful if you'd take me with you." She bowed down slightly, before she looked into all their faces.

"Of course! Let's get home to Konoha!" Naruto screeched excitedly and started leading the way.

"Then that's settled. Let's go." The Hatake smiled and turned around as well, causing the bright sun to shine right into Sayuri's face, so she squinted her eyes and began walking… …

A small cloud obscured the sun, relieving her eyes for a moment of its bright rays. There were colourful budding trees on either side of the road, showing more white, pink, yellow and red than green and the glaring sun bathed the whole region in a surreal glow, making the already brilliant colours look even more intense and vibrant, so this whole scene seemed to be ripped out of the sugar-coated dreams of a hyperglycaemic six-year old girl.

It was very quiet. Except for the twittering of birds, the rustling of leaves and the crunching of gravel under their feet, there was no sound and the air smelled so nicely of spring; fresh and sweet and somehow new. As if everything had dropped into existence only this morning. As if everything was still untouched and they were the first to ever tread this path, see these prettily blooming buds, inhale the heady and beguiling scents of the various flowers and feel the refreshing breeze cool their warm skin.

It was one of these days that would always be too short. One in which you'd put up a fight not to have to go to bed, because that would mean an ultimate end to the day, which could never be long enough and you'd always think you were still far away from having exploited it to its full potential. The kind of day you wished would never end, so you pretend you wouldn't know about the inevitable, wouldn't know that everything in life was transitory. Knowledge often has the quality of taking the special something from certain things, so there is nothing reprehensible about ignorance, it's just a means of comfort.

"Can we take a break, maybe?" Sayuri asked and turned her head to the man who was silently walking beside her, his hands hidden in the pockets of his dark blue pants.

"Already?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and slowed down his steps a little, not appearing too keen on her proposal.

"Mmm-hmm." She nodded and looked around. "I'm hungry and it's really nice here."

"Why not…" Sasuke shrugged and now came to a stop, receiving a beaming smile by his girlfriend, before she took his hand and led him off the road, to a speck of sunbathed grass at the foot of a chestnut tree, which was covered with white and pink blossoms.

They both slumped to the ground, realizing that there was moss under the grass, so it was like sitting on a mattress. They took off their backpacks and Sayuri pulled out the food they had bought in the last village they had come across, just some rice balls and a few apples, since they were good to transport.

They ate quietly, watching some scattered clouds travel through the sky and throw dark patterns onto the grass. Sasuke was sitting with his back against the thick tree trunk and once Sayuri had finished eating, she crawled towards him and lay down on her side, resting her head on his lap, while a contented sigh escaped her lips.

"You're not tired, are you?" Sasuke asked in a calm voice and brushed her silky hair out of her face to have a look at her profile.

"Not quite…" She murmured in a breathy voice and turned around on her back to peer into Sasuke's face.

"Just… thinking…" Her voice trailed off and her eyes wandered towards the clouds, while she gripped for his hand and began playing with his fingers absentmindedly.

"Don't say…" He said with an amused tone in his voice and drew Sayuri's gaze back to him and there was a sulky look on her face.

"Hey!" She pouted, trying to bite back a grin and poked a finger into his stomach, wishing she hadn't done it, because it was hard as a rock.

"So you're thinking…?" Sasuke asked, still with a smirk on his face, knowing that this was exactly what she wanted to hear.

"I don't have to tell you if you don't care…"

"I always care about what you have to say." He rolled his eyes and this seemed to be one of the really rare occasions when he wasn't able to keep a straight face and avoided her gaze, which seemed pretty suspicious.

"Phew… I'll just pretend I didn't hear the sarcasm…" Sayuri sighed and grinned wryly, before she dropped their hands onto her chest and directed her eyes into the sky again. She gazed at the clouds for quite some time, starting to forget about her surroundings, until Sasuke squeezed her hand lightly and caused her to look into his face again. She still seemed kind of bemused, but cast a rapt smile at the dark-haired man, before she shifted her weight to lie more comfortably.

"You know… I thought a lot about leaving, after I came to Konoha…" She eventually whispered in a soft voice and kept her eyes fixed on Sasuke's, which held a fairly surprised look in them.

"I wanted to travel the world. Go from city to city, village to village and hopefully find someone who recognizes me. Someone to tell me he searched for me in all this time and would then finally take me home… but over the time I settled down in Konoha and made new friends…" A dreamy smile flitted over her face and she raised his hand up, placing it at her cheek, which led him to stroke the side of her face lightly, wearing a thoughtful look on his face as well.

"And then I hardly thought about it anymore until I stopped entirely. I didn't have a single memory of my family, of my old life, so my new life seemed far more important after some time and I couldn't even imagine going away any longer… now it happened after all…" Her voice trailed off and she again gazed into the sky, while Sasuke observed her quietly and eventually brushed her fringe out of her eyes, drawing her attention back to him.

"You think… someone might know me…?" She asked with an uneasy smile on her face and there was something vulnerable about the way she looked at him.

"…Who knows…?" He responded in a blank voice and looked away, somehow appearing rather unhappy.

"Hey…?" Sayuri murmured, startled by his behaviour, before she placed her hands in the warm grass and raised her upper body up.

"Kiss me." She whispered, once he was looking at her again and even though there was still that weird expression on his face, he put a hand under her back and pressed his lips on hers… …

She giggled into the kiss, before she pulled away and struggled to her feet, almost certain that she could feel the earth spin around its own axis, which made it quite hard for her to keep her balance.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked, watching the swaying girl stumble forwards, heading into the sea of colourfully blinking lights. A frown appeared on his face and he already prepared to get up, in case she should get any closer to the edge, but to his relief she came to a stop at about half the distance and stood there with her face turned towards the sky.

"Fireflies!" She clapped her hands with a beaming smile on her lips, her face so bright, it rivalled the moon with its soft and tender glow. She jumped up like a cat on the hunt and tried to catch some of the tiny glowing orbs, but missed and then the ground came faster than she would have expected. She nearly stumbled, but caught herself and flashed a sheepish grin at the dark-haired man, who seemed clearly amused by watching her continuous battle with gravity. Her attention was soon captured by something else though, as she saw how the stars fell out of the sky and began whirring around her head.

A rapturous laugh escaped her lips and she turned in slow, reverent circles, her mouth agape in awe and her gleaming eyes focussed on the tiny specks of light above her. Her movements became faster with her thoughts trailing off until she twirled and danced in an abundance of moonlight. Spinning in circles until she felt dizzy, but everything just carried on turning even after she had stopped, so she twirled into the opposite direction, hoping she could keep the world from spinning that way.

She had never been seasick, but this is exactly how she imagined it to feel like. The ground under her feet was moving, wavering from side to side, while everything around her or more likely just the contents of her head were spinning around and all colours blurred like those of clothes in a spin dryer.

Cautiously she took a step forward to where she assumed Sasuke to sit, but it might have just as well been the opposite direction. Her intuition didn't fail her though, so after a vigorous fight against her own intoxicated mind, she stood in front of the grotesquely blurred form of her boyfriend and sunk to her knees right before his crossed legs.

"You're all over the place." She slurred, wondering why her real voice wasn't even nearly as clear as the one in her head.

"No, that's you …" One of the many Sasuke copies smirked and stretched his hands out to hold her, since even though she was sitting already, she looked like she was in dire need of something to steady her.

"Nah… nonsense…" She giggled and leaned forwards to place a clumsy kiss on his lips, even though she more or less just smiled against his mouth, but at least she had picked the real one, which was quite something. He softly brushed a hand along her cold cheek and looked into her eyes which seemed to be glazed over with the alcohol she had consumed, while she gripped for the bottle in his hand and took a sip.

"Don't you think it's about time to stop?"

"Nah – would that make any difference?" She grinned and turned around, snuggling against his hard chest, while he put his arms tightly around her and she could feel his warmth envelope her.

A contended sigh passed her lips and she sunk farther down, so she was rather lying than sitting and closed her eyes, but that didn't do any good. It felt like she was somehow moving out of her body, drawn to the side while her physical shell remained where it was. Therefore she opened them again and felt dizzy, but what she saw through her nauseous mind was incredible, if she could just block out that sick feeling… But the stars had never been this beautiful. How they were moving around there, as if the sky was filled with shooting stars that got twirled around by an invisible mixer.

"I wish you could see this…" She breathed in a dreamy voice and lengthened her neck to look at the man behind her and she was sure she could see a light smile on his face. She sunk down again, watching the whirl of stars and fireflies above her, while she unconsciously intertwined her fingers with his.

"You think we'll work out…?" She asked hesitantly after quite some time and looked up again. The Uchiha wore a thoughtful expression on his face, his coal black eyes fixed on the village, which looked so lifeless and distant, from where they were.

"It's too late for that…" His voice was blank and sober and so where his words and yet they managed to churn her up. She sat up again, feeling how the effects of the alcohol wore off from one second to the other and looked at him with a desperate face, knowing exactly that he was right, but up to now she had been successful in ignoring that.

"B-but… can't we at least pretend we'll get a happy end…?"

"Hmm…" There was again that melancholic look in his eyes, making them seem like black holes which had soaked all happiness out of his body and were now trying to do the same with her.

"Then close your eyes…" He whispered and cupped a hand around her cheek, bringing his face so close that his forehead touched hers and kept her from seeing anything, even if she had wanted to. So she did as she was told and closed her eyes, thinking about all the things, all the words, just everything she could do or say now to make him stay with her… …

"Sasuke…?" She looked to the side, at the profile of his face, but he still stared unwaveringly to the front, not even seeming to realize that he had been spoken to.

"Hey…?" She gripped for his hand, causing him to stop and finally turn around to her.

"Hm?" He cast an expectant look at her, now that she had finally ripped him out of his daydreams, which had taken her quite some time and actually that was rather unusual for him. He was rarely ever so distracted that he forgot about his surroundings, he was never this inattentive.

"What are you thinking…?" Actually not what she had meant to say, but his behaviour made her curious somehow. A frown appeared on his face and he gazed at her hand that was still holding his.

"We need to stock up with provisions once we get into the next town." He explained and started moving again, pulling her with him.

"Yeah right…" She curled her lips and shot a piercing look at the dark-haired man, who had turned his face away though, apparently thinking he could silence her this way.

"Seriously now. What is it that distracts you so much that you are entirely inattentive?" She raised an eyebrow and kept gazing at the man to her side, not paying any attention to her surroundings.

"I wouldn't have to think about our food if you wouldn't eat so much." He murmured and side-glanced at the violet-haired girl, who now looked slightly offended.

"That's not true – you eat far more than me." She pouted and gave up on getting him to tell her what he was thinking, stubborn as he was, she doubted she'd get anything out of him. She heaved a weary sigh and turned her face back towards the front and what she saw caused her mouth to drop open, while a stunned expression found its way onto her face.

She came to a stop, drawing Sasuke's gaze back to her, but her slightly widened eyes remained focused on the field of snow-white lilies right ahead of them. Their huge petals were swaying in a gentle breeze, their heads moving to and fro in a rehearsed dance, meant to hypnotize their surroundings into bowing before their beauty. There had to be thousands of them, growing high on each side of the path they were treading on, and from where they were, they couldn't see the end of them, like they had conquered the world and were now closing in on the last little streak that was defying their regency. What a pretty world it would be, if everything would be like this, if the whole world would be covered with these pure white flowers, a veil of innocence, that made every sorrow seem unimaginable.

"Beautiful…" Sayuri murmured almost in awe, succumbing to the charm of their mesmerizing dance.

"Hmm…" Sasuke observed her with a thoughtful expression, before he turned to the side and looked at the sea of flowers all around them.

"That name really does suit you…" He murmured and picked one of the prettiest lilies, which he then handed to his girlfriend without any further comment.

A surprised smile flitted over her face and she needed a couple of seconds to realize that she was now supposed to take the flower; that it was a gift and a compliment and a really sweet one.

She carefully took the snow-white lily in both her hands and brought it to her face, inhaling the lovely scent of it, before she lowered it again and gave the dark-haired man a beaming smile. This compliment - this whole gesture flattered her, not least because it happened rarely enough and she couldn't keep a light shade of pink from appearing on her cheeks. Therefore she lowered the flower and gave him a long thankful kiss, really glad that she had decided to go with him.

They carried on walking and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky anymore. The sun was unusually strong for this time of year and there was hardly any wind either, so it became really warm – the perfect weather for wandering.

The field of lilies wasn't as endless as it had appeared to be at first sight, but still the landscape was really nice, there was nothing comparable to spring in the countryside. There was so much greenery and all these colourful flowers and not a single human being anywhere near, at least they didn't run into anyone in the last two days and now they came across a small lake, surrounded by reed and grasses and behind it was a mixed forest, rising out of the ground like a dense green wall.

"Hey – let's go swimming!" Sayuri proposed and pulled the Uchiha towards the lake. They didn't know when they'd come across the next village – they hadn't taken any maps with them and were just walking to where their feet were carrying them, therefore they had no idea where they were and when there'd be the next occasion for them to wash with more water than their water bottles could carry.

"We'll never get anywhere if you carry on taking break after break." Sasuke sighed and came to a stop, giving the girl beside him a huge frown.

"But we're not planning on getting anywhere special anyway, right? So what does it matter?" She shrugged and smiled cheekily, before she slipped her pretty heavy backpack off her shoulders, which landed with a muffled thud on the grass and moss covered ground. Sasuke still wore that annoyed expression on his face and had his arms crossed in front of his chest, but she just ignored that and began taking off her clothes under the watchful eyes of her boyfriend until only her underwear was left.

"So… what is it now?" She gazed at the dark-haired man with a raised eyebrow and took a step closer to him.

"This isn't anything like you…" He smirked and there was something challenging about the way he looked at her.

"It's not really like you to give flowers either." She grinned and gripped for the rims of his backpack, letting it slide down his back, before she carried on with his shirt and pulled it over his head. When she was just about to do the same with his pants however, he put his hands under her thighs and picked her up.

"Hey!" She struggled in his arms, caught off guard by his action and before she knew what happened, she landed with a loud splash in the cold water. It took her a couple of seconds before she managed to break through the surface again. She would have never thought the water would be this cold and even though she had wanted to swim, she was pretty angry at him for having thrown her into the lake like that and then the way he was standing there with that smug look on his face – actually she would have liked to snap at him, but her teeth were clattering too violently for her to do so.

"M-m-mean…" She managed to press through her clenched teeth and kept her arms tightly wrapped around her body, while her legs were pedalling underwater, because she feared in case she wouldn't move she'd turn into a block of ice.

"Hn." Sasuke smirked self-complacently, not even trying to hide his amusement about his girlfriend's ordeal, as was maybe appropriate.

Trying to hide her shame, Sayuri began splashing some water at her neck and some tiny drops even made it to her face and caused some new tremors to run through her and she wondered how she could have actually come up with something as stupid as going swimming, when she had spent the last nights shaking and should have therefore known that the water had to be icy. Either way she had wanted to get washed and she could do so now and cold water hardened so it was probably a good thing, as long as she wouldn't catch a cold now at least.

Then there was another splash, so she held her hands up to her face, to shield it from the water and when she lowered them she saw that Sasuke had jumped into the water as well and didn't even look like he was freezing. With a weird looking smile on her face, Sayuri swam up to him, trying to act like the cold wouldn't affect her either, but it felt like her skin was tightly pulled back from her face and stapled to the back of her head, which probably explained that botox-smile.

She already prepared to splash a good load of water into his face, to get back at him for throwing her in here, but before she could do so, he was right in front of her and slung his arms around her upper arms and back, keeping her from moving and carrying out her plans.

"Hey!" She protested, still with a grin on her face, when he lifted her up until her face was a bit above his.

A light giggle escaped her lips, as she looked down at the dark-haired man and now at least passively managed to drip some water at him, but he didn't even grimace or cringe or anything, but lowered her again, bringing her face to his. He loosened his hold, so Sayuri cupped his face in her hands and brushed a wet streak of hair out of his eyes, before she leaned in to kiss him.

Their lips locked in a deep, passionate kiss, while Sasuke slowly sunk deeper into the water, taking her with him, but she didn't notice so until her nose was suddenly filled with water and he still kept on kissing her and pulled her deeper and deeper down. She tore her lips away from his and wriggled herself out of his grip as she slowly ran out of air.

A couple of seconds later she burst through the water surface and started gasping and coughing violently, feeling like she had only just managed to come up before she'd have passed out.

Once she had calmed down again, she looked around and searched for Sasuke, but couldn't see him anywhere. There were some rippling waves, centring where she was swimming, but except for that the water was relatively calm. There was no trace of him.

She began paddling in small circles trying to look at the bottom of the lake, which seemed so much deeper than she would have ever imagined, but she couldn't see anything but her own reflection. He could probably hold his air for quite some time, but it was over a minute now and still no sign of him.

A queasy feeling came over her and she started calling his name and dived under, hoping she would find him anywhere, but it was really hard to see anything underwater, even though the bright rays of the sun made it down to the bottom of the lake. It wasn't even a big lake, deep in the middle, but nothing you could get lost in.

She swam right above the sand and seaweed covered ground, trying to make anything out in the greenish water, but in vain. She was just about to rise up and catch some air, but then she felt something at her ankle. However when she was just about to turn around and look what it was, she was pulled down with a jerk, the surprise causing her to let out even the tiny bit of oxygen she had still left and swallow some water instead. She tried to kick out, aim at whatever was gripping her ankle, but it didn't help, she was pulled farther down, held there, while she was gradually losing her consciousness, but she had never seen the sun look so beautiful, as from underneath that crystalline, viridescent surface, before a premature dawn squashed it to a merely pinhead sized dot… …

She was trapped, deaf, buried alive under a massive layer of snow, floating there right above her. She didn't know where the snow had come from and why it had such a blue-green shade, but she didn't waste much thought on it. What she thought of was that her oxygen was running out and that she should probably dive up now and even though her body was so clearly yearning for that, yearning for the essence of life it needed so badly, she just couldn't get herself to do so.

It was weird. This was her body which was in the process of being drowned and yet she didn't really feel involved in this. As if she was watching it from a distance and this had absolutely nothing to do with her, didn't even interest her, so why should she do something about it? What did it matter anyway? She didn't want to die and yet she had no reason not to, but somehow it was equally pointless to die as not to die. She lived because she was already alive, was probably meant to be alive for some unknown cosmic reason and it was comparatively easy to leave it that way. Theoretically.

As it was almost too late, her body gained the upper hand after all; she broke through the water surface and spluttered unceremoniously, coughed out all the water she had inadvertently swallowed. She still felt dazed, her brain seemed to have melted like a gummi bear in the sun and was now just a slimy mass, incapable of thinking any clear thoughts. Everything was reduced to the basics, which would in this case be breathing and coughing up the water that was still trying to drown her lungs.

"Shh…" She heard a sizzling sound and tried to turn her eyes up, afraid that they'd fall out if she moved too fast, since they felt weirdly loose in their sockets. Now that she was beginning to calm down, she also felt something at her face and finally managed to focus her eyes on what was in front of her.

"Sasu…ke…" She pressed out between some coughs and stared at the man, who was kneeling before her bathtub and had one of his hands on her cheek while the other one was wrapped around her upper arm.

Still with some last coughs and her nose feeling like it was being crushed, she leaned back against the surprisingly cold porcelain rim and pressed a hand to her eyes, which felt like they were under some kind of pressure, as if the lack of air had brought them close to bursting.

"Just what were you doing?" The Uchiha asked her in a low voice, now that she had stopped coughing and when Sayuri opened her eyes again, she saw the angry look on his face.

"You're back." She murmured weakly and placed her hand on his, giving him a faint smile.

"Sayuri, what were you doing?" He leaned closer and stared into her eyes, waiting for her answer, but she wasn't willing to give it to him. Now a new idea crossed her mind – it probably hadn't been her but him who had pulled her out of the water.

"I thought you'd come tomorrow…" She sat up and crossed her arms on the cold rim of the bathtub, before resting her chin on them so her face was barely a hand's breadth away from his.

"What if I had?" He hissed bitterly and glowered at her, so she lowered her gaze and hesitantly gripped for his hand again.

"I fell asleep…" She sighed wearily and placed a light kiss on his hand. "I'm just so very, very tired all the time…"

Sasuke watched her for a long moment, before he brushed her wet hair out of her face and drew her gaze back to him.

"Come on out now." He sighed and rose to his feet, picking up the clean white towel, which lay folded on her bathroom cabinet and handed it to her once she was standing. She wrapped the towel around herself and stepped over the rim of the bathtub, feeling like a fawn, which had to make its first steps on these far too thin and shaky seeming legs.

The water must have been too hot and then in combination with the oxygen deficiency… no wonder she felt dizzy, but she was determined not to let it show. She didn't want to worry him, although it was apparently too late for that by now.

With slow, tottering steps, she walked towards the dark-haired man and wrapped her arms around his waist for support, leaning her forehead against his hard chest. With her eyes closed, she listened to his faint heartbeat, which was mostly drowned out by the pouring rain and inhaled his slightly musky and earthy scent, different from how he usually smelled.

"I missed you…" She looked up at him, once he put his arms on her back.

"Me too…" He whispered and placed a light kiss on her hair, but she pulled her head back and looked at him with a desperate face.

"No, you don't understand… I really, _really_ missed you… and I'm sorry for having said that-"

"Shh…" He put a finger to her lips to silence her, before he brushed his hand along her cheek and leaned down to kiss her.

"It's okay…" He murmured and smiled at her and the smile was more earnest and genuine than she had ever seen and it caused a tingling warmth to spread through her body, as if the butterflies had suddenly returned. Maybe it really didn't matter what had happened in the last weeks and they could become happy after all, she'd love to think they could.

A loud peal of thunder was heard, sounding as if the sky had just broken into halves and was now slowly crumbling down, the fragments colliding with the earth one after another and with an ear-splitting noise. Instead of spoiling the atmosphere, it only emphasized their closeness and it was like she had never felt as good and protected as she now did here in his arms.

"Sasuke…?" She pulled her lips away from his and rested her forehead against his, their breaths mingling with each other.

"Hm?" He ran his thumb across her cheek and kissed her quickly, before she moved her head farther back so she could look into his dark grey eyes.

"I love you."

It was far easier to utter these words than she would have thought, but just as expected she now stood there, her heart beating like a trapped bird in its cage, while she waited for him to react to her love confession.

A surprised smile flitted over his face and she watched him open his mouth, preparing for his response, but all she heard was thunder, before he drew her against his chest again and just held her in his arms.

What had that just been? What did he say? Did he also tell her that he loved her or didn't he? This damn thunder. It was getting louder and louder and more frequent and that now of all times.

She moved her face up again and looked with an uncertain face at the dark-haired man. "W-what did you say?"

He met her gaze and repeated it again, but now it wasn't only the thunder but also his heartbeat, which kept her from hearing him. She pushed herself away from him and closed her hands around his upper arms, while the thunder sounded almost continuous now, like someone was beating a drum and they were right inside of it. Yet again she asked him to repeat himself and she could feel a growing despair build up in her.

It seemed as if all sounds had died out all of a sudden and it felt like he was drifting away, even though he was still standing in front of her and held her there. It was as if he was fading. She tightened her grip on his sleeves, desperate to keep him here, but it seemed as if there was nothing she could do to make him stay. Everything, even their surroundings became paler and seemed to just dissolve and yet did not, so she started shaking him, but it somehow felt like she was the one being shaken and even though he was still in her arms, he just drifted away and faded completely…

…

…

"I'm awake." She murmured drowsily and caused the shaking to stop and instead of her bathroom or Sasuke there was now her pillow in front of her eyes.

It had been a dream or rather many dreams. Really, really stupid but also far too nice ones and yet nothing but dreams, just products of her imagination and some messed up memories. They didn't set out to see the world, they didn't get drunk by the cliffs, they didn't change rolls with Ino and Kiba and most importantly there was no pregnant Karin. But in spite of how stupid and unrealistic these dreams were, this last one was really telling: She couldn't even get her happy end in her dreams, so how could she possibly get it in reality?

"Why didn't you say so then?" She heard a loud voice, the volume causing her to cringe, but she didn't seem to have enough energy to turn around to him.

"I've been knocking on your door for at least five minutes and nothing and then I get here and you just lie there like a corpse and don't even react… I was really worried about you." He ranted still speaking to the back of her head.

"How did you know I was here?" She whispered and turned around to lie on her other side, with her face turned to the Uzumaki, who was sitting on the edge of her bed. She hadn't told anyone about their break-up and she doubted that Sasuke had done so, therefore he shouldn't have come here if he had wanted to see her. Or maybe he had been at Sasuke's place and he had told him that she didn't live there anymore, which meant that Naruto knew of their break-up and had come here to console her – the very last thing she needed right now. She didn't want to be consoled – everything was too new still… too fresh… she couldn't talk about it yet, she could hardly believe this actually happened, so talking was clearly out of the question.

"Well… Sasuke is on a mission so I figured you'd be here." The blonde explained and looked with a concerned expression at his team-mate. "Sakura told me what happened in the hospital…"

"Oh…" Sayuri exhaled, having a really hard time with simply keeping her eyes open, even though she must have slept for ages, if not longer.

The hospital. She wished that had been a dream as well, but apparently it wasn't, somehow the bad ones always have some truth to them…

"Uh-huh. And since you're ill and all alone, I thought I'd come and look after you and see how you're doing, soo… is there anything I can do for you? Do you need anything?"

"That's really nice of you…" She said in a shaky voice and really meant that. It was really nice that he had come all the way here to visit her and see how she was doing, but that didn't change anything about the fact that she didn't want any company now… "I… I just want to sleep…"

Naruto apparently got the hint and rose to his feet. "Okay, then sleep yourself healthy – and you're sure there's nothing you need?"

"No…" She shook her head lightly and drew her knees up to her chest. "I'll be fine."

"Hm…" He nodded and walked out of the door, while Sayuri just stared at her drawn-up knees, led into sleep again by her attempts at convincing herself that she really would be fine.

…

…


	21. Friends

**21.**** Friends**

These pounding sounds haunted her.

Here she was dreaming of herself dreaming. A shallow, boring dream, because she didn't have insight in her dreaming self's head and yet it was a welcome change to all these disturbing nonsense-ones…

She saw herself lie in her bed, the way she probably did lie in reality. It was always the same image, since hours now, but it might have just as well been only seconds or even days.

There was a bundle of grey and pink in front of her face, like an ash heap with cherry petals on top of it. It was the sleeve of her terrycloth bathrobe and there was her tiny hand peeking out of it, but the semi-darkness made it look grey and dead and she wondered if there wasn't a more profound meaning behind this picture…

It really started as a pleasant dream, everything was quiet and peaceful and there was only this still life in front of her eyes. However with the time the lack of any movement or sound became agonising and worst was that she couldn't do anything. She just lay there and watched the unchanging picture in front of her, literally feeling how the time was taken from her and she was sure that once she'd wake up, her hair would be twice as long as before and she would have starved down so much that she'd find herself hang on a rack in some classroom full of pupils asking '_how'_ and '_why'_ questions, to figure out how the human body functions and her emaciated something would be perfect to make them start asking questions, which was probably a good thing – at least for them.

She'd probably never wear this bathrobe again, once she woke up. She was long tired of watching it, same as that dead fish that was supposed to be her hand, but she knew that in reality it didn't look that way, so there should be no need to chop it off – hopefully.

Then at some point the pounding had started and now at the latest she knew that her dream hadn't just lasted for seconds but much, much longer. It sounded almost the same way it had the day before as Naruto had come and had knocked and then shaken her out of her sleep and she wondered if it wasn't the very same now. If this pounding was really in her dream or if it wasn't rather the outside world trying to invade it like it had done before.

She tried waking up, concentrated on the constant hammering and hoped it would be loud enough to wake her, but it wouldn't work. She had never yet tried to willingly wake up from a dream; had never yet consciously known that she was dreaming when she was. Up to now she had never faced the difficulty of waking up when she was still in the middle of a dream and she really didn't know how to do so. It didn't seem like she could move, so pinching herself was out of the question, she couldn't even do so much as blink, it was horrible and she felt how she grew more and more frustrated with every further second she had to stare at her sleeve.

35 knocks already, but then the sounds died out all of a sudden and she didn't even want to imagine that whoever there was had given up and was leaving her here to dream of nothing forever.

"I really don't know why I even bother to knock…"

Definitely not a dream. This was Naruto's voice. It sounded like it came from a great distance, but she doubted so. He had probably let himself in through the backdoor again and was now standing right beside her.

It was suddenly much brighter in the room and she now saw her sleeve in a different light and still she kept on sleeping. She couldn't seem to wake up anymore, at least not fully. It was like she was caught in a desolate third interval, like being in a vigilant coma and she feared it would never end.

"Hey?" Her sleeve slowly blurred out of her vision and then there was only white with something yellow in the left corner. She at once knew that it was her ceiling, she had stared at it long and often enough to be a hundred percent sure of that, however that yellow streak was new.

It moved, until she realized that it had only been Naruto's hair and now he was leaning over her, but his face looked all wrong being upside down and she was almost tempted to smile, if she would have any control of her mimic that is.

"Don't you want to get up? It's way past noon already."

She'd really like to get up, but it's not like she could. She was imprisoned in this immobile body, which was same as her mind paralysed with sleep.

"I'm tired…" She heard herself murmur in a low, hoarse voice and wondered how she had managed to do so. When she tried it didn't work and now it did without her even having intended it.

"Why are you here anyway? Isn't Sasuke back already?" He only received a not really meaningful sound in return, but he figured it was a negation – he should better check his sources the next time.

"You're still not doing any better huh?" He asked in a worried tone and sat down on the bed. "I'm sorry I didn't come here any earlier, but I was pretty busy with my training."

"W-what? But weren't you here yesterday?"

This was horrible. Did she dream that up as well? Some kind of foreboding dream and he had really never been here…?

"Well, no – that's why I apologized." He frowned at her and raised a distraught expression on Sayuri's face.

"Did you even move since I left you here?" The blonde stuck out his tongue and grinned at her, probably trying to lift the mood, but his words only added to her confusion.

"So you were here?" She frowned, feeling like she had completely missed the point and Naruto didn't look like he knew what this was all about either.

"Well sure, have you forgotten that already?"

"But why did you say then you weren't?"

"Because that wasn't yesterday but almost three days ago now." He enlightened her and now a shocked expression appeared on both their faces. "Don't tell me you just slept through the last days."

That was heavy. Three entire days? She'd like to tell him she hadn't slept in all this time, but she really didn't know. She had long lost track of reality…

"I-I don't know…" She stammered and was suddenly desperate to get up, but from how numb and heavy her body felt, she might have really just lain around in the last 72 hours or she had absolved some extremely hard training, which now left her with aching muscles. What if she's had some kind of fugue? She might have gone who knows where and done who knows what, like sneaking out at night and acting as a superheroine or a supervillainess, she didn't even have the faintest idea.

"Take it slow…" Naruto who noticed her attempts at sitting up, put his hands on her shoulders and helped her lean against the wall behind her. This simple action was so straining that she saw black dots dance before her eyes and she would have best liked to just slump down again, even though she should have enough of lying around by now.

Still she doubted that she had really been asleep for so long. If that had really been the case than she should be close to dying of thirst and her mattress would probably be drenched in urine, but none of that was the case. Yet this wasn't really a comforting thought because it meant that she just didn't remember what she had done in the last days. That her brain has had a blackout again, just not as long as that first time, but still that meant there was probably something seriously wrong with her…

She ran a hand through her hair and from how it felt it had to be all greasy and she was ashamed that Naruto saw her like this and she could actually feel a lump build in her throat because of something as stupid and superficial as this. She was ill, so she had an excuse for looking wasted and Naruto was probably the last person who'd bother about something like this anyway, so this was just ridiculous.

She raised up her knees and slung her arms tightly around them, while Naruto still watched her with an anxious expression and didn't seem to know what to do now.

"What's with you anyway? I mean you have a flu or a cold or what?"

"My head…" She murmured. "It's not alright…"

"Really?" He frowned and sized her up thoroughly. "You seem more or less like yourself."

"Less." She interjected and lowered her head. "Less and less everyday…"

"What do you mean by that?" Naruto asked, looking and sounding clearly puzzled.

"Nothing feels right… everything is changing and I don't know what to do about it." She sighed helplessly and looked into Naruto's big blue eyes and the huge question mark on his forehead, so she added: "I don't know…"

"See? That sounds quite a lot like you, if you ask me." Naruto grinned encouragingly, but today his good mood wasn't as contagious as it usually was.

"Hmm…" She shrugged and wrapped her blanket around herself like a cocoon, so he could no longer look at her hair or anything else – her sense of shame prevailed after all. "Maybe it's just the fever…"

"Mmm-hmm." Naruto nodded knowingly, but then leaned forwards and caused Sayuri to flinch back, but he didn't bother about that and just reached through the loophole in her blanket and put a hand to her forehead.

"I'm no expert, but I don't think you have a temperature anymore." He dropped his hand again and flashed a cheerful smile at her, which she tried hard to return but her features seemed to be frozen.

"Maybe you just need some movement and fresh air – and food! When's the last time you've eaten anyway?"

Again a question she couldn't answer, but her stomach felt pretty much empty and yet she wasn't hungry, as if her stomach had shrunken so far that it got by with nothing but air.

"Hm…" She shrugged and rested her chin on her knees, still engaged in trying to remember what she had done in the last three days.

"Does that mean you don't know? How can you not know when you've eaten?" He asked in a high-pitched voice and now at the latest he looked really alarmed.

"I just don't…" She mumbled into her knees, more than just frustrated by her malfunctioning memory.

"Unbelievable… You can call yourself lucky that you have me, because I have this here-" He started rummaging in his backpack, he had apparently placed beside her bed and then pulled something out, but she couldn't really discern what it was.

"What is this?" She raised her head up and pulled the blanket back a little, so she could see it better.

"Noodle soup for a cold… well I guess you don't have one, but still… it'll do you good." He smiled at her, before he got up and walked towards her stove and put on some water for his favourite meal.

It was really nice of him; this whole thing. That he had come here at all and was now making food for her. That he cared enough for her to be worried about her – you really couldn't ask for a better friend.

"There you go." Naruto smiled once he had filled the two plastic cups with the hot water and now passed one of them to the violet-haired girl.

"Thank you." She murmured, trying hard to put some emotions into her voice, but it was just low and hoarse and didn't really sound like anything. She took the cup out of his hand and watched the Uzumaki at once start eating his own portion with a happy grin on his face. She stared down at the hot steaming soup, into the spiral of noodles which rotated in hypnotizing circles as she stirred it. She ought to be hungry, but somehow the prospect of eating didn't seem too inviting. Still she moved the cup upwards to take a sip of the stock, but as it came closer to her nose she inadvertently inhaled its strong, intensive scent and felt her stomach turn at the smell of it.

With a disgusted expression she turned her face to the side and put her soup down again, trying to take some deep breaths of the scentless air, but the spicy smell of the soup had long conquered the room and was just about everywhere.

Her face must have turned green, she felt it the same way you feel it when your face turns red, so she raised a hand to cover her nose and also her mouth just to be on the safe side, because she could feel that whatever little there was in her stomach was determined to come out any second now.

"Hey – what is it?" Naruto leaned forwards and peered into her face with an alarmed expression, but his breath just brought back that intensive smell and she could feel another wave of nausea build up in her, so she turned away from him and clutched her hands tighter around her mouth and nose, trying to keep everything away, which obviously only served as a short-term solution, though. She had never really been that much into ramen, but still the smell usually didn't bother her, least of all sicken her like this. She had probably not eaten in such a long time that the smell seemed just far more strong and pungent than it would usually do, which only confirmed her in thinking that she really had to eat something, even though that was about the very last thing she wanted to do now in her current condition.

"Open the door." She exhaled explosively, as she had to lower her hands anyway to catch some air and didn't even think of any formalities in that second, but Naruto didn't seem to take offence at being ordered around like that.

"Sure." He leaned to the side and shoved the backdoor, right beside the bed open, at once letting a whiff of fresh air in.

After a couple of seconds, Sayuri dared to lower her hands again and turned her face towards the open door, literally feeling how the clean and chilly air washed the nausea and all urges to vomit out of her and it just stopped about just as fast as it had occurred.

"Thanks." She sighed, once she was sure that the word wouldn't be followed by a good load of stomach acid.

"Look, you really do need to eat something." Naruto looked at her with a concerned face and even though this really wasn't the time for it, she couldn't keep a smile from her face and Naruto seemed pretty confused about it. Maybe it was relief; she felt a bit better now, still like something the cat dragged in, but definitely better.

"You want me to make you something different?" He asked still with a frown on his face.

"Would you mind?"

"Of course not!" He retorted, as if that question had been entirely stupid. "I told you I'd look after you now that you're all alone here."

"Hm." She nodded and gazed at her knees again.

_All alone_. Even more alone than he imagined. He only came here because Sasuke was on a mission, so he thought she was alone in the meantime, he couldn't know that she'd be alone for much longer. Alone and yet not. After all he was here, and she was really, really grateful for that.

She watched him get up again and walk towards her fridge, but then he vanished from her sight as he pulled the door open.

"Phew… that's gonna be tough." Naruto sighed and scratched the back of his head, before he closed the fridge door again and roamed his eyes across the other cabinets.

"Err… You want a carrot?" The blonde grimaced, as his eyes fell on the small fruit basket, which was only filled with a by now black banana and some acceptable looking carrots.

"Why not." She shrugged, really not caring what it was, as long as it didn't smell so strongly that it'd make her sick again.

He washed it and then gave it to her, observing with vigilant eyes, how she began eating that piece of raw vegetable, which wouldn't even pass as an appetizer for him.

"If you give me some money, I can go and buy you some food." The Uzumaki proposed and sat down again, before he gripped for her soup, which was cold now though, but ate it anyway.

"I think I'll go myself. I really do need some exercise." She said and carried on nibbling at her carrot.

"But it would be nice if you'd come with me. If you have time of course." She added, really hoping he'd say yes. Actually she had thought that she wouldn't want any company; that it'd make her feel only worse, but it seemed to be the opposite.

"Sure, if I go alone or with you doesn't really make a difference, right?" He smirked and finished his soup.

"But I need to take a shower first." She murmured uneasily, feeling a bit uncomfortable about that.

"Yeah that's true." Naruto nodded, but then a shocked expression appeared on his face and he shook his head vehemently. "I mean no. You don't have to, but if you want…I wouldn't say… well…"

"Nevermind." She tried to sound casual, even though she was sure that her face was all red now, even though she didn't feel it as clearly as with that green before.

"Then take your time, I'll wait here… Oh, and where's your dog?" He asked and looked around, as if he expected him to come around the next corner and jump at him like he always did.

"Brought him to Kiba. Guess he better stay there for some time…" She slid to the edge of the bed and sat there for a couple of seconds, a bit anxious about getting up. Her legs didn't really feel like they'd be able to carry her weight and somehow her head felt so heavy, as if she had stones in it instead of a brain and she feared she wouldn't be able to keep it up and had to drag it after her, which would make walking pretty difficult.

"You need help?" Naruto asked, as he watched her just sit there and do nothing for a couple of seconds.

"You want to help me showering?" Sayuri raised an eyebrow and regarded the blonde with a sceptical expression, which gave way to an amused one though, as she watched how his eyes widened and he turned bright red now for a change.

"N-no! I mean help you get up. I didn't want to… you know…Sasuke would kill me! I mean… It's not like he could, but anyway…" He scratched the back of his head and instead of looking embarrassed he now looked really excited.

"I told you about my training, didn't I?"

"You mentioned it."

"It's totally awesome – once I'm done I'll be just as strong as that pervy-sage – no, stronger!" He rubbed his nose proudly and grinned from ear to ear.

"What kind of training is it?"

"Well… I can't tell you, yet – just you wait till I'm done!" If it could, then his grin would probably leave his face and stretch all across the room, push away the furniture and walls and conquer the village, he seemed barely able to hold back his excitement, so it had to be something really great. Simply the fact that it was actually something he managed to keep to himself made her sure of that.

"Okay." She nodded and now finally rose to her feet and just as expected it was quite difficult, but she somehow managed. At least the standing part, walking would still be on a whole different level.

Even though she might have needed it, Naruto didn't offer her his help this time, so she was on her own now, to cover the whole way to the bathroom, which meant at least three metres in total.

After taking a deep breath she dragged herself forward, still feeling a bit dizzy, especially when she moved too fast, but as long as she kept the right pace, it was more or less okay and her head seemed to become clearer the longer she was in an upright position.

She briefly took a shower, not wanting to let Naruto wait too long and then put on a thick pullover and a beanie, so she wouldn't have to dry her hair, which would be appropriate, considering that her immune system was already weakened, so she shouldn't push her luck.

…

…

An hour later they reached the supermarket, which was pretty full at the moment – it wasn't really clever to go shopping in the middle of the day. So they squeezed their way through aisle after aisle, Naruto carrying a small shopping basket, while Sayuri randomly threw whatever they came across into it, without really paying attention to what it was.

"Why do you need four different kinds of toothpastes?" Naruto frowned and stared into the by now pretty full basket he was carrying after her.

"You never know…" Sayuri shrugged and made two of her fingers wander along the shelf next to her, watching with awe how they looked like a tiny person, in search of its upper half.

"Never know what?" There was still a frown on his face, however now it was no longer directed at the basket, but at his team-mate.

"Exactly." She murmured, her eyes still focussed on her wandering fingers and turned around as she reached the end of the aisle, seeming a bit disoriented the way she roamed her eyes across the different shelves.

"Heh…?" The Uzumaki grimaced and scratched his head sheepishly, really not understanding what she was talking about, but Sayuri didn't react any further and walked around the next corner.

"Oh - Sayuri."

She heard someone say her name and looked up, trying to find the speaker among all these people surrounding her, until her eyes came across a dark-haired girl only a couple of metres away from her.

"Hinata?" She asked in a sceptical tone and rose on tiptoes to have a better look at the other girl and make sure that it really was the Hyuga, but since they were both midgets – though she could proudly say that she was at least three maybe even four full centimetres taller than the Hyuga – she should have rather bent down to peer through all those big people's legs. Actually they weren't really _that_ small. They had a perfectly acceptable height; it was just that the others had grown over their heads in the last two years – especially the last year has been marked by growth spurts, but somehow the two of them had missed out on that.

"You're feeling better?" She asked in a worried tone, once she had squeezed past the people that separated them.

"Uhm… yes…" Apparently it had gotten around what happened in the hospital – not that it would surprise her… not with the way people in Konoha talked.

"Hinata-chan!" Naruto appeared right next to Sayuri and greeted the only female member of Team 8.

"Are you living here or what? How come you're always here when I'm here, too?" The Uzumaki grinned and at once caused Hinata's face to take on a deep red shade.

"I-I… I only come here because it's closest." Hinata mumbled in a harried tone and looked down at her feet. "And they have everything here, so…"

"Hey – I was just kidding, don't take it so seriously." Naruto soothed her, but somehow his words seemed to have the opposite effect on the Hyuga and she apparently felt even more uncomfortable now.

"You have a really huge family, right? No wonder that you have to go shopping that often." Sayuri supported her, pretty well able to imagine why Hinata seemed so unsettled now, whereas the reason for it seemed as clueless as ever. Surprise, surprise.

"Yes, that's true – and there is a clan-assembly today and my father asked me to make dinner for them, since our cook is ill. So I have to buy some food." She explained and lifted up her shopping basket pointedly, hoping that Naruto wouldn't think she was stalking him here, which was really not the case, even though she was glad whenever she ran into him.

"Really? That's perfect!" Naruto clapped his hands and caused Hinata as well as Sayuri to flinch back a little, but he didn't seem to notice so. "We are both starving – Sayuri doesn't even remember the last time she has eaten something."

"Naruto-" His team-mate interrupted him with a shocked face and a light blush on her cheeks, while Hinata looked again pretty worried, but didn't get to say anything, because Sayuri added: "You can't just invite yourself to eat dinner with someone else!"

"That's not how I meant it!" The blonde turned towards the girl to his side, which is why he didn't see how all colour slowly vanished from Hinata's face. "We'll help her out of course! Then she'll be much faster and you wanted some exercise anyway, right? So what better way is there than being ordered around in the kitchen?"

"How about you ask Hinata first before you plan everything out?" Sayuri raised an eyebrow, before they simultaneously turned towards the Hyuga and looked at her with questioning expressions.

"Oh – of course." She nodded quickly, once she was in the focus of attention again.

"But only if it's no trouble." Sayuri shot a meaningful look at the other girl, since she knew that the Hyuga had quite some problems with turning people down, they were pretty similar in that point and then it was even Naruto who had asked her, so saying no was even less of an option than it would usually be.

"Oh, it's no trouble at all, really." She assured her. "I always end up cooking far too much anyway and I'd really like some company." Her voice trailed off and she looked to the floor again.

"See? I told you." Naruto grinned and nudged Sayuri lightly with his elbow. "So are we going now or what?"

"Well… yes…if it's really okay…" Sayuri nodded hesitantly, feeling a little bit anxious about this whole cooking-thing though. After all this morning, well… actually it wasn't even two hours ago, the mere smell of food had made her feel sick, so what if that happened again when she was in the Hyuga mansion? How embarrassing it would be if she would not only feel sick, but actually be sick then. But actually she was feeling quite good right now. Still a bit drowsy, but on a whole quite good. In fact she felt better than in that last week they had been together and somehow she felt bad for doing so. Things were all wrong; nothing was the way it was supposed to be. But it's not like she wasn't glad about it – who would voluntarily feel love-sick? It was just a bit surprising… It was easy. So much easier than she would have ever thought - except for this morning maybe…

She had thought she wouldn't be able to move all the way here, but that hadn't been the case. She had thought that being among people would make it just all the worse, but it didn't. And most of all she had thought she would cry a lot. She was a cry-baby anyway and now she had a real reason to do so and yet nothing.

After all they had been together for an entire year, so it would be appropriate to cry and yet not a single tear would leave her eyes. She wasn't keen on crying but maybe it would help. But then what should it help when she didn't feel bad, didn't really feel anything at all…?

They broke up - so what? That was no reason to just lie down and die. She's had a life before him and she would have a life after him as well. She had barely thought about him… today… Maybe she hadn't really loved him after all. She had been sure lately she would, but if that had really been the case, then she would feel bad now, right? She would miss him and cry and think about ways of how to get him back again. Would wallow in self pity and eat all the chocolate and ice-cream there was in this supermarket, but she didn't.

She had felt bad the last days because she was ill. She had a fever, which is why she hadn't been able to concentrate when she's been with her patient and why she had apparently slept through the last days. Because she was ill and not because their break-up was getting to her. It didn't seem too logic or convincing, but that's how it was – she couldn't help feeling the way she did, so even thinking these thoughts was pretty pointless. It seemed quite unusual and inappropriate, but she had barely needed five days to get over him and that's that.

If she knew how she had done it, she'd probably sit down and write a book about it, so she could spare everyone else the troubles and inconveniences of lovesickness as well, but unfortunately that wasn't the case, which didn't make her feel any less glad about it though.

…

…

The thing about being faster with more people wasn't quite true. It seemed to take them ages to first just agree on what they'd make (even though Hinata had settled on something from the start and had extra done the shopping for that) and then the whole cooking part itself didn't pass as trouble-free as they had imagined. Not to forget the ghost. As it seemed the kitchen in the Hyuga mansion was haunted and some of their ingredients just vanished in a highly mysterious way, without anyone having noticed anything about it, or anyone being responsible for it of course. Still their food just kept on vanishing and even though the four people in the kitchen had a pretty good idea of what was going on, they kept quiet about it and just kept their eyes open all the more, hoping to catch the 'ghost' red-handed.

"I'm done here – what's next?" Naruto asked after he had finished the fourth or fifth of his petite tasks. No one really felt like trusting him to do some more important or more difficult tasks. It had gotten around that he wasn't exactly a luminary in the kitchen and not to forget that he didn't really have the most exquisite taste when it came to food.

"Well…?" He asked again after having gotten no clear answer the first time.

"I-I don't know…" Hinata stammered nervously, not really inclined to give the blonde any orders he might end up not liking at all.

"How about you start washing up? The kitchen is a mess and you have definitely contributed to that." Sayuri proposed without looking up from the vegetables she was cutting, so she didn't see the grimace her words summoned on Naruto's face.

"Wha- I came here to cook – and not to forget to eat and not to act as a cleaner!" He exclaimed and looked expectantly at the blue-haired girl, hoping for some support.

"We're almost done and doing the dishes is a part of cooking, so get going!" Hanabi, who was with them in the kitchen, snapped at the Uzumaki, appearing to have an entirely different temper from her older sister.

"Pfft… fine." Naruto snorted sulkily, really not liking to be ordered about by a so much younger girl, but the male species was clearly underrepresented at the moment, so there wasn't much he could do.

"Here." Sayuri stepped towards the two Hyugas, who were standing in front of the stove, on which there were many different pans and pots and passed them the vegetables she had cut.

"Anything else?" She asked, but Hinata only shook her head and kept stirring the faintly steaming rice, while her sister watched her, or rather the food, the way a wolf would watch a herd of sheep, her mouth seeming to water already.

"Hey! How come I'm the only one doing something here?" Naruto turned away from the dishes and looked at the three girls, who were only standing in front of the stove, whereas he was scrubbing his hands off here.

"Oh, don't be such a baby!" Hanabi rolled her eyes, but then stuck out her tongue, cheekily. She had developed a weird affinity for teasing the blonde, which mostly resulted in her sister turning bright red or chalk-white in succeeding cycles.

"Who's the baby here? I'm almost twice your age!" Naruto groused and waggled the cleaning rag menacingly in the air.

"Pah! Learn math! 18 isn't the double of 13 you blockhead." She tried her best to bite back a grin, but she didn't really manage, which resulted in her face looking like she had bitten into a lemon.

"I said '_almost'_ – and who are you calling a blockhead anyway, you spoiled brat?" The Uzumaki snapped, looking not even nearly as amused as Hanabi did.

"The fact that you don't know it just proves that I'm right." She grinned smugly and took a dishtowel, before she walked up to the blonde and started drying the dishes, while he carried on washing and they kept exchanging one sharp remark after the other, Hanabi ending as the winner most of the time.

"I don't know what's gotten into her… She usually isn't like that…" Hinata murmured under her breath and shot an anxious side-glance at Naruto, who looked ready to explode, which wouldn't do any good to the dishes, that much was certain.

"Does she know that you like him?" Sayuri asked in an equally shushed voice and at once caused a shocked expression to appear on Hinata's face and she nearly dropped the spoon she was holding.

"Wh-what… I-I don't… I…" She stammered all red again.

"Okay…" The medic-nin shrugged, but cast a meaningful look at the other girl, which made clear that she didn't believe her a bit.

"Uhm… I need to go and get something… Can you watch out that nothing boils over?" The Hyuga asked, still in a timid voice and rushed out, once she had received a nod in response to her question.

And now she stood there in front of the stove, with nothing really to do, except for staring at the different pots, none of which were in any danger of boiling over any time soon.

Naruto and Hanabi were still arguing there at the other end of the kitchen, so she was practically alone here. Actually not, but she just didn't have anything to do and it somehow made her feel nervous. She really wanted to do something, needed to do something, but as they had said, they were more or less done already, the dishes were all there was left and they were already being taken care of, so all she could do was watching the boiling and steaming food in the pots in front of her.

At least the smells didn't bother her this time, which was quite a relief, but still she felt sort of uneasy now, just totally bored and in need of any action, any distraction. Just anything. Usually she wasn't this easy to be bored, she always found some way to keep herself busy, but somehow today that wasn't the case.

She began stirring the different pots, just for the sake of having something to occupy her hands with and concentrate her attention on, but it wasn't really a demanding activity. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and peered into pot after pot, before she turned around and looked at the other two people in the kitchen, who were still busy with the dishes and with fighting of course. She'd actually like to go to them and help them, but there was no room and she couldn't really join their conversation, since verbal duels weren't really her strong point and she didn't want to interrupt them either.

There was a dark grey clock on the white wall, looking like a negative picture of the moon and it counted the passing seconds with a loud tock and an even louder tick, the sounds reminding of water dripping into a deep, hollow well. She had come to hate clocks. Hate their sound, hate their function. What do they do other than ticking away the seconds of your life, telling you that you were late or early, reminding you of responsibility, unsettling your whole natural rhythm? All they do is hinder you from adjusting time to your own wants. Mock you by moving too fast when you want them to be slow and too slow when you want them to go fast. They are an everyday curse, spoiling your day already by waking you at the most abnormal times, with the most annoying sounds and yet they are nothing but a tiny representative of the greater evil time.

She could feel how she became more nervous and agitated with every tick-tock that trampled across her nerves. It had started feeling like ants, just a tiny tingling, but it got worse and worse and by now it was feeling like a mob of kangaroos, hopping their way over her every nerve fibres.

"I think the toilets are down that corridor." Naruto had apparently settled his quarrel with the young girl and now stood right next to his team-mate, pointing a finger at the door, Hinata had vanished through before.

"What?" Sayuri looked at him with a frown on her face, not sure if she had heard him right.

"You look like you need to pee." The Uzumaki shrugged and his words made Hanabi start giggling, even though she tried to fight it.

"Oh… well no, I don't." She stammered with a light shade of pink on her cheeks. Her restless movements must have looked like the sort of dance, you often do when you have a full bladder and stand on the wrong side of the toilet door and Naruto wasn't exactly known for mincing his words, so no wonder he confronted her with it right away.

"I just feel like doing something, I don't know…" Her voice trailed off and she looked to the side as Hinata returned, carrying a tray with a lot of valuable bone china on top of it, in her hands.

"Really?" Naruto asked in an excited tone and drew his team-mate's attention back to him.

"Mmm-hmm. I think I used up my quota of doing nothing for the rest of the week." She murmured and helped Hinata fill the bowls with the different food and arrange them on the two trays

"That's awesome! Then how about some training after dinner?" He grinned and took a deep breath, as the smell of their meal flared in his nostrils, already causing his mouth to water.

"Training? How am I to keep up with you when you're doing your super special top secret training?" She smiled cheekily and shot a questioning side glance at the blonde.

"I know, but never mind. I haven't gotten to the usage part yet, but anyway I'll go easy on you so no need to worry." He scratched the back of his head and flashed an encouraging smile at his team-mate, really hoping she'd say yes, because he was always a little short of a training partner, but never of energy.

"So what do you say?"

"Why not… How about you Hinata? You wanna come with us?" Sayuri asked the girl to her side, who switched into nervous-mode from one second to the next and nearly dropped a fancy looking bowl then.

"M-me…?" She pointed at herself, her pale lavender eyes as wide as saucers.

"Sure! The more the merrier, right? But not before we've eaten." Naruto cast a yearning look at the food on the trays, before he flashed a sheepish smile at the Hyuga, which at once caused her to turn bright red as so often.

"O-of course. We'll just bring the trays to the others and then we can eat." She turned around quickly and took a deep breath, before she picked up one of the trays and turned to her sister. "You're coming Hanabi?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded and picked up the other tray, before the two of them went to the room their clan members were having their conference in, while Naruto and Sayuri started distributing the remaining food on four plates, so they could start eating once they were back.

…

…

A mixture of green and orange light bathed the huge, tree-lined terrain, the three of them had chosen for their training. They had started about an hour ago and the sun was preparing to set and now really did look like the great fireball it was, the way it burned the light blue out of the sky, like an explosion of many different red, orange and violet shades, getting more and more intensive with the time passing.

"I think she's waking up." Naruto murmured and peered with a worried face at the girl right in front of him, who was at the moment treated by his team-mate.

He didn't really understand what had happened. After they had eaten, they had come here and had split up into two teams for the sake of fairness, how he had put it. The two girls against him. They had decided to use the whole area, like a game of cops and robbers; one group was hiding and the other tried to trace them. Actually Hinata would have held the advantages here, but she had promised she wouldn't use her Byakugan so they could fight on equal conditions.

It had been his turn to seek the two girls and after quite some time he had located Hinata in a tree, so he had used a couple of shuriken to sever the branch she'd been sitting on. Apparently he had caught her off guard, because she just dropped down like a sack of potatoes without even trying to avert her imminent fall. Once he had realized so, he had been there to catch her of course and actually he was quite sure that he had made it before she could have hit anything or sustained any other kind of injury and yet she had fainted, but at least he had still been carrying her so she didn't hit the ground, but nevertheless he didn't understand it.

Hinata's eyes fluttered lightly and her face took on a healthier colour, so Sayuri deactivated her healing chakra and watched how the other girl now finally opened her pale lavender eyes.

"Wha…?" She exhaled deeply, but then fell quiet as she looked into Naruto's face, which loomed like the full moon right above hers.

"Are you hurt? I thought I caught you in time, but well…" Naruto scratched the back of his head and observed the blue-haired girl, who stared up at him through widened eyes. Slowly but surely the memories of what had just happened returned and caused an embarrassed blush to appear on her cheeks, not in the least because of how close the Uzumaki still was to her and then as she recalled how he had held her in his arms. That memory in particular made her nearly faint again, so it was good she was already lying on the ground.

"You should take a little break…" Sayuri murmured and was unlike Naruto pretty well able to imagine what was wrong with Hinata. She was just a shy, well extremely shy girl and head over heels in love with the Uzumaki, who was to everyone's incomprehension, entirely unaware of that.

She would really like to help her out, give her tips or something, but she couldn't really think of anything. Sasuke has always been the active one, the one who had taken the initiative. He had decided to start their relationship and he had also been the one to end it. She hasn't had too much to say in all this, so there was nothing she could tell her. A whole year of relationship and she couldn't really tell how it had gotten to that in the first place. Couldn't recall ever having done anything that might have anything to do with its start. Didn't know why he had suddenly decided to want her. Didn't know why he had stayed with her this long. Didn't know why it had ended this suddenly. She didn't know anything; her head had to be filled with straw or probably cotton candy, considering how many sweets she ate… Maybe that's why he dumped her; he had realized how stupid she was and didn't want to be together with a stupid person…

"Can we carry on now?" She asked in a quavering voice and stared at the dark brown tree trunk right behind Hinata.

"Sure! Just join us when you feel better, okay Hinata-chan?" Naruto rose to his feet and smiled down at the Hyuga.

"O-okay." She squeaked, the red still present on her face.

"But no more hide and seek - how about some sparring, huh?" The Uzumaki grinned excitedly and received a nod by his team-mate, who was glad about anything which kept her from thinking these thoughts.

They walked into the centre of the meadow, a bit farther away from Hinata, so they wouldn't hit her by accident and both went into a fighting stance. They only stood there and stared at each other for a couple of seconds, until they suddenly vanished.

A metallic clink sounded through the air and now the two members of Team 7 stood right in front of each other, engaged in a trial of strength with their kunai.

Unsurprisingly Naruto held the upper hand and forced the medic-nin farther backwards, but then she tried to kick against his hand, so he blocked it with his other arm and saw this as his chance to knock her over by applying more strength to his kunai, attempting to unbalance her. However Sayuri had already expected that, so she let herself fall backwards and now Naruto nearly lost his balance as the resistance was suddenly gone. Even before her hands reached the ground she raised her other foot and kicked against his chin, the drive causing her to do a cartwheel backwards, while Naruto stumbled a few steps towards the back, but then caught himself.

Once she was standing again she dashed forward, at once beginning to kick and punch the blonde, who at the moment couldn't do much but blocking her attacks.

The training with Sasuke had really done her good. He was very strict and unlike Naruto he hadn't really gone easy on her. He had kept on pushing her until she got to a point at which she was sure she wouldn't be able to move in the next three days and at the beginning that had really been the case, but it had gotten better over the time. However once he realized so, he'd increased the pace so she ended up with aching muscles after all. She had once asked him why he did that; if he was only up to torturing her, which he had even affirmed, but then he had added, that he wanted to make sure that she'd be strong enough to look after herself and wouldn't have to rely on her team when doing missions. As if he'd been worried about her…

She jumped to the back as Naruto finally managed to launch into a counter attack, but missed her by a hair's breadth. They took a short rest, both heavily breathing and Naruto held his stomach and looked a little queasy.

"I shouldn't… have eaten… so much…" He panted, trying to justify his bad performance, but instead of responding, Sayuri dashed forwards again, even though she was at least as exhausted as the Uzumaki.

"Oh…" Hinata whimpered and clutched her hands in front of her mouth. She had activated her Byakugan now, so she could follow them better and had gotten totally into watching them and from how she reacted you could think that this was a serious fight and not just some training.

Naruto jumped up into a tree to avoid Sayuri's attacks, before he threw a couple of shuriken at her and actually managed to hit her. He jumped down at once and watched with a shocked expression how a narrow red streak slowly appeared on her cheek reaching down to under her mouth.

It was nothing. She had often gotten hurt during their training. Sasuke had taught her not to pay attention to minor wounds, not even bigger ones, at least not while she was still fighting, because that little distraction might be enough for the enemy to catch her off guard and injure her seriously this time. So if it was only a small wound she should just carry on fighting like nothing happened and if it was a bigger one, or just one which restricted her movements, she should retreat and only tend to it once she was sure she had gotten away from her opponents.

She had come to think that he had deliberately injured her at times, just to test her. Test what she would do if she had blood running into her eyes or test how she would handle fighting with a paralysed arm, even if it was only a genjutsu. She had hated training with him, in spite of all the progress she had made, because it had always made her think of all these men who said they could never lay a finger on their girlfriends and then saw that he very well could.

"I'm sorry!" Naruto exclaimed, but his team-mate hardly seemed to notice so and now drew some shuriken herself, which she then threw at her opponent. Unlike her, he managed to dodge them by doing a quick backflip, however while he did, he missed how the medic-nin sneaked up on him and was now right behind him. She kicked into his rips, but Naruto moved his arm down to lock her leg between his side and his arm, before he turned in circles and hurled her away.

She managed to land on her knees, so the fall didn't really hurt her, but she still didn't feel like she'd be able to get up right away, exhausted as she was.

"You've gotten really good." Naruto murmured still a bit breathless. He was really impressed by her improvement – that was the very reason why he wanted to train with Sasuke as well, he just knew how to get the best results out of your training and Sayuri had clearly benefited from that… But then once he had accomplished his special training there probably won't be much Sasuke could teach him any longer, so it didn't matter too much, even though a combination of those two training styles would definitely be interesting.

"You need a break?" He asked after Sayuri hadn't gotten up from the ground after a couple of seconds, but instead of responding she just threw a kunai at him, he was barely able to dodge, since he hadn't really anticipated it.

"Hey!" He shrieked indignantly, but then a crooked grin appeared on his face and he took on a fighting stance again.

"Okay – you asked for it!" He exclaimed and stormed forwards, while Sayuri finally struggled to her feet and raised up her hands in front of her face, preparing to block his attack.

Sasuke had taught her how to make the best of all the advantages she had. Since she didn't necessarily need her eyes to see, she could raise her hands higher to shield her entire face, without being too obstructed in her view. It had cost her quite some overcoming at the beginning, since it was an unnatural move – no one would voluntarily cover his eyes when being attacked. At the academy they had constantly preached that you should never lose track of your opponent, but then he had always gone for her eyes in particular, so she's had to shield her face, whether she wanted it or not. He had often been rough during their training, but that had been okay, she wouldn't have wanted him to patronize her, but he could have been a little more easy-going at times. Besides the only times she had gotten hurt was when she had been inattentive, so it had actually been her fault, but then he could have just as well pulled back or stopped before he'd hit her. It's not like he hadn't held back, if he hadn't she probably wouldn't be alive any longer, but still… But he had meant to prepare her for any kind of fight, whether it were long- or short-distance ones or fights against users of nin-, gen- or tai-jutsu, not only by actually fighting, but also by knowing when it was a lost battle and running away if necessary. Not being overcome by false pride and making sure to get out alive. It had always been weird to hear these words out of his mouth, since he was about the last person who'd just surrender and hide from an opponent.

Actually these were the very things they had also lectured at the academy, but he had somehow made them sound so much more important and reasonable. It had felt like he had told her some well-kept and confidential secrets, something he hadn't told anyone but her and only because he cared about her and wanted to get her to a point at which she could go on a mission without him having to worry about her. Worry what might happen to her when he wasn't around to save her if necessary. Save her like he's so often done.

"Stop! Naruto-kun!" Hinata called out all of a sudden and caused the blonde to freeze on the spot, right before his foot would have collided with Sayuri's forearms.

"What is it? We were just so into it." He exclaimed, before he turned towards his team-mate. "I think I've never seen you fight like that – really awesome!" Naruto grinned but then frowned at the Hyuga, who was running towards them, and now he finally let his leg down again, while Sayuri slumped to the ground and concentrated on her breathing.

"What's wrong?" Hinata knelt down right in front of Sayuri and tried to look into her face, but she had tilted it down and then her hair was covering most of it as well, so she didn't really see much of it. "Hey?"

"It's nothing." She murmured in a shaky voice and brushed a hand across her cheek, before she stared at her bloody fingertips and wiped them in the grass.

"Are you crying…?" The dark-haired girl asked hesitantly and now drew Naruto's attention to her as well.

"No." She shook her head, but her voice was already thick with tears and didn't sound convincing.

"Does it hurt?" The Hyuga asked again and bent forwards to have a look at the wound on Sayuri's cheek.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so, so sorry." Naruto stammered uneasily and did some abrupt movements, as he wanted to do something to make it better but didn't really know what. He hated seeing people cry, especially girls and then when it was apparently his fault.

"There's just something in my eye." She murmured in a muted voice and rubbed her eyes emphatically, before she rose to her feet and therefore kept Hinata from examining her face any longer.

"Can we carry on now?" She folded her arms in front of her chest and bit into her bottom lip to keep it from quavering; all of this just to appear strong and composed.

"No! I'm not fighting against a crying girl-"

"I'm _NOT_ crying!" Sayuri snapped at him, but then raised a hand in front of her mouth, as she could feel a sob build up in her, but didn't manage to cover it in time.

"Please stop this…" Naruto whined and looked pretty unsettled himself, but that first sob was more like a starting signal for more and more to come and even though she'd really like to follow Naruto's request, it seemed just an impossible thing for her to do.

"Please…" He pleaded and put a hand on her shoulder, which made him feel every single sob that ran through her shaky body.

"I'm really, really sorry. Look – you stop crying and I'll buy you some ramen, how is that?" He tried to cheer her up, but only caused her to cry even harder. "Or something else! Whatever you want, just stop crying."

Now Hinata rose to her feet as well and looked with a sympathetic expression at the other girl, looking about as helpless as Naruto did.

This was so unfair. She was over him. Surprisingly quick, but still she was over him, so what the hell was she crying for now? Why now and why here? She hadn't cried right after they had broken up and she's had more than enough chances to cry when she had been all alone and yet she just hadn't felt like she had to. So why did it have to happen now of all times? Why now that she was with other people? She's had to think about him a lot, but mainly negative things, nothing that would lead her to miss him, lead her to suffer because he no longer wanted her anymore.

"You're trembling like a leaf. C'mon sit down." Hinata put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her down gently. Sayuri didn't even think of offering any resistance because her legs felt like jelly anyway, so she'd end up on the ground one way or the other. She slumped down as if all strength had left her all of a sudden and just sat there and squeezed the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger, trying to push those tears back to where they came from.

"Are you injured? Did I hurt you?" Naruto sunk down right in front of her and stared at her with a guilty expression, which yielded to a confused one though, as she shook her head and wiped her face on her sleeve, but didn't look up yet.

"Phew, that's good." Naruto exhaled in relief, but then remembered that there had to be another reason for her sudden surge of emotion then.

"Did something happen? Are you having any problems?" Hinata enquired, but Sayuri just couldn't get herself to nod, even though she hit the mark, but still the lack of any response made the Hyuga guess that she was right.

"Is this because of what happened in the hospital?" Hinata asked hesitantly. "That wasn't your fault, really, it could have happened to-" She broke off as Sayuri shook her head, but only because she felt so miserable already, that she didn't need a guilty conscience to that.

"You're having problems with Sasuke? Is that why you were in your house today?" Naruto ventured his next guess and at once knew that he was right. If it wasn't for her spine she would have probably spread like a puddle on the ground, even though she was quite close to it this way too. She tried to shake her head, since she didn't want them to know, but it just didn't work.

"Did you fight? I already thought so when you were in the restaurant, but did you?"

She nodded weakly and ran a hand through her hair before she pressed it onto her eyes again, hoping she could keep the tears form leaking out this way, but it just wouldn't work.

"Oh, dear." Hinata murmured sympathetically, before she sat down next to the other girl and hesitantly wrapped an arm around her back and Sayuri just couldn't help but to bury her face in her shoulder, even though she felt how the Hyuga tensed up because of the sudden closeness, but then she began patting her back soothingly and tried to hush her.

"Hey – I bet it's nothing. He's sometimes pretty stubborn and rude, but… well… you know that. I bet he didn't mean it that way…" Naruto tried to cheer her up, at once taking it that Sasuke must have done something wrong, even though he didn't know what happened.

"He's probably doing just as bad as you do… I mean he's not crying, but… you know what I mean…? When it's about you he's a softie… sort of… so you really shouldn't take it so seriously and just talk to him. You'll see it's probably nothing." Naruto finished his attempt at encouraging his distraught team-mate and now finally caused her to look up at him, her eyes and cheeks all red and puffy from the crying and the look on her face made him doubt that she was buying his words.

"We broke up." Her voice was only a hoarse whisper and yet they all heard her. She didn't know why she had said that. Probably because she wanted to put a stop to Naruto's telling her that everything was perfectly fine.

"No you didn't." Naruto shook his head slowly and stared with a disbelieving expression at the violet-haired girl, who was still leaning with one side of her face on Hinata's shoulder.

"Oh, I'm so sorry… and then we were even so insensitive and talked about him so much and made you train with us." Hinata murmured miserably, but noticed to her relief how the other girl calmed down a bit and wasn't sobbing and shaking so heavily anymore.

"But what happened anyway?" The blonde enquired in a wailing voice and wore a huge frown on his face.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata interrupted him. "I don't think she wants to talk about that now."

"So what? I can't believe Sasuke would break up with her. He's changed so much lately and that all thanks to Sayuri, he wouldn't just leave her, I'm absolutely sure of that."

"How do you know it was him who left her?"

"Well, if it had been her, she wouldn't sit here and cry her eyes out now." Naruto explained and looked with a sympathetic expression at the crying girl, who felt miserable about hearing them talk about her, as if she wasn't even there and still couldn't seem to stop crying, which made it only worse.

"I bet it's only a misunderstanding. You want me to talk to him?"

"No." She shook her head vehemently and the sobs died out at once, his words having the same effect, as drinking upside down when you have the hiccups.

This is why she hadn't wanted anyone to know, because she didn't want anyone to interfere. Just the thought that Naruto would walk up to him and ask him out, like she had sent him there, because she was too cowardly to see him herself, which wasn't even so very far-fetched…

"Okay then tell me everything, or I'll go to Sasuke and ask him." Naruto threatened and watched the violet-haired girl shake her head repeatedly, wishing she hadn't left her bed this morning.

"If she doesn't want to talk about it, you-" Hinata objected in a timid voice, but then broke off as Naruto shook his head and then leaned to the front, to grip his team-mate by her shoulders and pulled her forwards, so she couldn't hide in Hinata's shoulder any longer.

"I'm waiting." Naruto murmured impatiently and watched the Hyuga hand the other girl a handkerchief, with which she then dried her face.

"We fought the whole time…" She sighed after she had taken some deep breaths for a couple of seconds, still hoping for a meteor to crush down on her, so she wouldn't have to do this… "…every single day and also as he came back from his last mission… then he broke up with me…" Up to now she had always thought it had been a mutual thing – that _they_ had broken up with each other, but that wasn't the case, it was all his doing.

Naruto looked a bit startled about her words; they weren't like Ino and Kiba, they rarely ever showed anything in public, so he hadn't realized that they were apparently having problems since quite some time now.

"But how did he do so…? I mean… I just can't imagine it… Did he actually say that?" Naruto stammered a bit awkwardly, knowing that he was probably hitting a sore spot, but at least Sayuri wasn't crying any more, although she still looked like a picture of misery.

"Not directly…" She shrugged and looked to the side not bearing to look into any of their eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto frowned and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Tell me what he said, word for word."

"I should leave." She murmured after quite some time with obvious difficulties, like every single word was an ordeal to her.

"Okay… And what did you say?"

"Yes."

"…and…?

"That was it."

"What? That's nothing!" Naruto shrieked, feeling a bit dumbfounded. "Where's the part where you broke off? Like seriously this is ridiculous."

"You haven't been there… You didn't see that look… It's over… definitely…" Her voice trailed off and she ran a hand through her hair again, no longer feeling like crying, but like lying down for a long, long time, at least three more days, but preferably for as long as it took a heart to heal.

"Well that's his face! He always looks grim, you know that – if you should ever see him laughing – that's when you should worry." Naruto grinned at her and actually managed to raise a smile on Sayuri's lips as well, however you would have to turn her upside down first in order to see that.

"Okay. I'll go to him right away and settle things for you. I bet it was only a misunderstanding."

"No. Naruto this is none of your business so stay out of it." Sayuri wailed and could feel the tears leaking out again.

"Please…" She added in a failing voice and even though Naruto did look touched, he remained persistent.

"It is my business! You are my friend and you are unhappy when you wouldn't have to be, so if you don't want me to talk to him, you'll do it yourself, so c'mon, get up." The blonde rose to his feet and reached a hand to her, planning to help her get up, but she only backed away like he was contagious.

"You can't make me…" She shook her head uneasily and stared with widened eyes into space. "I can't just… go to him after what happened…"

"You not just '_go to him'_– you are trying to save your relationship, what better reason is there?" He asked, but Sayuri just kept on shaking her head and wrapped her arms tighter around her drawn up knees, determined to inhale all her limbs, to be tiny and let nothing spill out of her. Neither tears, nor words, nor anything they could use to force her to do the very things she least wanted to do.

"Look…" Naruto sighed after she hadn't reacted to his statement in quite some time and had only sat there and listened to Hinata hush comforting words to her. "I know this is hard for you and that you are maybe even scared of going to him, without any other, less personal reason…"

"You mean a pretext?" Hinata looked up at him and received a nod in return and now he drew Sayuri's attention back to him as well.

"Let's make something up…" The Uzumaki snapped his fingers and stared with a thoughtful expression into the small fireball in the middle of the sky. "If you really did break up, which I still doubt, you'll need to get your things, right? There you have your pretext – you can use that chance to talk to him – even though I'm sure that once he'll see you he'll ask where you've been and that he already meant to search for you, you'll see…" He smiled enthusiastically, but Sayuri only stared with a blank expression at her knees.

Getting her things. She wasn't ready for that yet. Officially moving out or worse still talking to him, would only make it real, would cause this whole situation to lose this dream-like quality it still possessed and which made her hope that she'd just wake up one day and find out that nothing ever happened.

"What is it now –yes or yes?" Naruto asked impatiently and wore a huge frown on his face. "Someone is going to talk to Sasuke – it's either you or me, so what do you say?"

"You won't just drop this, right?" Sayuri asked in a low, hoarse voice and looked with puffy eyes at her team-mate.

"No."

"Even if I do tell you that I still think it's none of your business and that I really hate you for doing this to me."

"I guess I'll have to live with that." He smirked self-complacently knowing that this was a yes, a reluctant one, but still a yes.

"I'll escort you to him, just to make sure you won't draw back."

"No. Not today." She interjected and looked to the ground again. "I can't go there like this." She brushed a hand across her cheeks pointedly and now met Naruto's gaze again. "I'll go tomorrow…"

"Promise?" He raised an eyebrow and again reached his hand toward his team-mate.

"Uh-huh." She nodded again with watery eyes and took his hand, only to be pulled to her feet the next second.

"Good… and don't even think of going back on your word! I'll visit you tomorrow and if I find out you didn't talk to him…" He didn't finish his threat, but Sayuri knew what he meant anyway. He didn't leave her a choice. She would have to talk to Sasuke and face up to reality, whether she wanted it or not.

…

…


	22. Deal

**22.**** Deal**

It had to be the rain. What more plausible reason was there? Even her pillow was drenched with water and felt wet and sticky, just like her skin.

Just as predicted she had used up her amount of sleep and had spent the whole night lying curled up in a tiny ball without moving or shifting position. Her muscles were already aching and her neck was stiff, but she barely took notice of that, because she was too distracted by her thoughts to care about any physical ailments.

She had made lists. Various lists. Lists about the pros and cons of going to see him today; the pros and cons of their relationship, of saving their relationship, even lists of the things she would say or do when she saw him or more importantly the things she wouldn't do by any chance, those kinds of lists. Some were longer than others, but the one about reasons why she should not go to see him was by far the longest and the one with the most crucial arguments.

She could already picture herself stand there in the rain, right in front of his closed door. She'd be glad about the rain, because in case she'd start crying against her resolutions, the rain would conceal it and then she wouldn't look as weak and hurt as she actually felt. She'd probably stand there for quite some time, before she'd work up the courage to knock and he'd probably need some time himself to open the door, because she had knocked so lightly that he first hadn't been sure if he had heard something at all… He'd appear in the doorway then, looking at her with a mixture of confusion and displeasure, maybe even discomfort. His mouth would remain firmly shut, but his eyes would ask what she was doing here and she'd look down then, not knowing the answer herself. She'd give him Naruto's excuse then, tell him she had to get her things, quite some time after the situation had become embarrassing and Sasuke would just nod and lead her upstairs. It wouldn't work as Naruto had said; they wouldn't talk to each other, he would only guide her through the house like a visitor and look over her shoulder, while she packed her things, as if he meant to make sure that she wouldn't steal anything. Once she was done, he'd lead her to the door again, and they would keep standing in the entrance hall for quite some time. They wouldn't speak or move. She'd look into his eyes and get lost in the dark, while he would want to open the door for her, but just wouldn't be able to get himself to do so. There'd be nothing left to say, because they both knew that in the end it wouldn't make a difference, so she'd leave and neither of them would mention meeting again.

That's what reality is like or would be like. Naruto couldn't know that because he hadn't been there. That's why he had no right to force her, had no right to go to him himself and interfere in their affairs. But even so he would do it, which is why she would have to go, whether she wanted to or not – needless to say that it was a _not_.

Against her will she found herself stand in her bathtub and take a shower. If she had to see him, she at least wanted to look decent and not like she had cried all night; he didn't need to see what he had done to her. Still she hoped to find him suffering. An irrational wish, because even if he did, he wouldn't let it show, but she hoped for these apparent signs, maybe dark rings under his eyes and an apologetic look on his face. She wanted to get there and find out that it hadn't really been him all the time; that he had been kidnapped and had now taken care of his double. Or else, to stay rational, she hoped for him to say words that would explain everything that had happened lately, to give her an apology that sounded so earnest and perfect that she would forgive him at once, without feeling pathetic and dependent for it.

It wouldn't happen. She knew him. Even if there actually were some words which might explain or justify everything he's done, he just wouldn't say them. He was too proud or maybe stubborn for that – he just didn't apologize or admit he had done something wrong. That one occasion didn't count. He hadn't been himself then. But maybe if he still wasn't himself, he might apologize after all. But what good did that do her then? She didn't want that new cruel and yet loving Sasuke, but the old one. The one that was as solid as stone, short of words or ways to express his feelings most of the time, but always honest and reliable, with a strong shoulder to lean on. The one that would give without being asked to and take without showing false modesty, which didn't mean he wasn't grateful – it was just the way he was.

After quite some time she finished her shower and first didn't know what to do next. Her head felt kind of giddy, not really aching, just different, probably because of the nervousness – no definitely because of the nervousness. Her whole head seemed to be clouded by thoughts of what was going to happen, what she could say, what he might say and then all the different scenarios she could think of, so many in fact that they dispelled all thoughts on what she had to do right now, like towelling herself and getting dressed maybe.

Once she remembered, she took care of all these necessary things and then just stood in the middle of her bathroom, feeling how every single action brought her nearer to the inevitable, which is why she was now standing here, drawing out her temporary activity, as long as she could. It didn't help anything. She couldn't do this now that she was feeling entirely unsettled already, how would it be like when she'd actually stand in front of him?

Slowly she slouched out of the room and went back to bed, feeling like this wasn't the kind of day for doing anything. There are days when you should avoid doing something, when you already know that it does no good and would only make things worse. On such occasions there should be nothing wrong with hiding under your covers until that feeling passed, until the day regained the potential to seem good again.

Only for now she would surrender. Surrender to inertia, surrender to anxiety, just give in to that overpowering feeling of insecurity. It wouldn't do any harm yet, not before Naruto had caught her wallowing in her cowardice.

But it was the rain, it was her head, it was the earliness, which kept her from doing what _he_ felt she had to do. So she just lay there, curled up under the covers, so very tired that she doubted she had gotten any sleep in the last week and definitely not 72 hours straight. Wondered if she hadn't really been awake, when her head had played all these movies, had fantasized instead of dreamed them. It was a tricky thing, but she had become too unreliable lately to be trusted anymore.

Then a knock on the door, the much hated sound. She should think about covering the wood with pillows, so no sounds from the outside would intrude her home, which served as a refuge during the misanthropic phase she went through at the moment. All she wanted was for everyone to leave her alone until she'd step outside on her own accord, to declare she was fine and would actually mean it.

Still the knocking.

She tossed the blanket aside and shuffled towards the door, all the time aware that it was a waste of effort, since she knew that her visitor would let himself in if she'd just wait a little bit longer, just like the days before. Still she opened the door, to put a stop to the knocking at least, and discovered to her surprise, that she had been wrong about her guess of who her visitor was.

"Oh." She exhaled, a bit startled and raised a grim expression on her opposite's face.

"_Oh_? What a greeting…" He rolled his eyes and shot a meaningful look at the girl in front of him, waiting for her to ask him in.

"What are you doing here, Neji?" She asked, still all startled.

"I just came back and meant to visit you. You have some time?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly and still stood there in the doorway.

"Actually I was just on my way to Sasuke." She murmured slowly.

To be honest, she would have gladly seized this excuse Neji offered her, to not see him, but simply the shock of thinking that it was Naruto, who stood there on the other side of the door, made her want to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"I doubt that." The Hyuga said and baffled her quite a bit.

"What?" She enquired with a frown on her face, but then moved to the side, as he just squeezed past her.

"Because I just saw him leave for a mission, so he's not there."

"Oh." She exhaled, not so sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

"Hinata told me about it." He slumped down on the couch and looked over his shoulder at the violet-haired girl.

"So you came to congratulate me now?" She asked wryly and closed the door, but stayed where she was.

"Kind of… but first of all I wanted to see how you're doing."

"Just fine…" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and caused Neji to smirk through gritted teeth, while he watched how she walked to the bed and sat down on its edge, right in front of him.

"How come I don't buy that?"

"Why ask me?"

"Well who else?"

"Hmpf." She shrugged and looked to the side.

"This won't lead us anywhere…" Neji sighed and leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I didn't know you wanted to get somewhere."

"Phew… how long do you plan on beating around the bush?

"Hm." She shrugged again and drew her knees up, before she wrapped her arms tightly around them.

"You don't want to talk about it, huh?"

"Nope."

"Well, bad for you." Neji said dryly, completely ignoring the irritated look on his opposite's face. "So you were having more problems than you'd let show."

"Seems so." She murmured and was surprised about how detached and hollow these words sounded as they left her mouth.

"_Seems so_…" He repeated and there was almost an amused tone in his voice, which didn't go along with the annoyed look on his face though. "Stop acting like you didn't care and tell me what happened. It'll make you feel better."

"We split up. That's all there is to say." She sighed and couldn't keep the corners of her mouth from sinking down.

"Yeah right." Neji snorted sarcastically. "For some mysterious reason, you've been entirely besotted with him. You wouldn't just break up unless something really bad happened, so what did he do?"

"He didn't do a thing." She rested her chin on her drawn up knees and gazed at the low table between her and Neji. "It just didn't work any longer…"

"That doesn't really sound like you…" He raised an eyebrow and scrutinized her closely. "You wouldn't just give up like that."

"Why are you doing this?" She shook her head and there was an irritated frown on her face. "I know that you can't stand him, so how come you care so much about all this?"

Neji parted his lips slightly, but didn't say anything for quite some time, until he exhaled noisily and finally raised his voice: "I don't care about him, but about you. It's obvious that he hurt you… I always told you he would. If you had listened to me then-"

"I don't believe this." Sayuri interrupted him and shook her head again. "You only came here to tell me you were right all along? – Great, that's just what I need…"

"That's not it." The Hyuga leaned back against the couch and looked fairly frustrated himself. "I came to comfort you, or at least distract you."

"So you are planning to distract me by forcing me to talk about it? What a clever plan…" She pressed her lips into a thin line and kept gazing at her messy table.

"There is also a third thing… I came here to make sure you wouldn't go back to him." He said and finally caused Sayuri to look up at him.

"What? So he isn't really gone?"

"No he is. I mean in general…"

"Look… I know you probably mean well, but this is something between Sasuke and me…"

It was weird. Actually she didn't even want to go to him and all this and yet she defended herself in front of Neji.

"You're too good for him. You deserve someone who treats you well. Someone who respects you and cares for you, someone who wouldn't be stupid enough to let you go." He said in a soft, but insistent voice and kept his eyes fixed on the girl in front of him, who was careful to avoid his gaze though.

"Stop this…" She murmured uncomfortably, feeling how Neji's attempts at making her feel better, or probably only at making her see the advantages of their break-up, brought back the urge to just crawl into bed and start crying. It didn't really seem like he had come here to comfort her. Of all the things he could have done or could have said he had chosen the very worst and there just had to be purpose behind the whole thing. He wasn't really insensitive, so he should know that telling a person with a broken heart that she deserved better anyway; that all the pain was actually unfounded, maybe even unreal, when she so clearly felt it, was definitely the wrong way of going on about it.

"I know you… You are a consistent person. You don't like changes. That's why you feel bad now, but if you are honest to yourself you know that you're better off without him."

"Don't you think it's presumptuous to tell me what I am feeling?"

"Maybe, but it's the only way to get through to you." He shrugged and now Sayuri finally sat up.

"Get through to me?" She groused and pointed at her chest. "Why is it that you all think you had to talk into my affairs? I'm sick of everyone telling me it will be okay again if I just talk to him, or that he didn't mean it or that this is for the better anyway!"

"Sayuri." Neji interrupted her in a soothing tone as her voice was taking on a nearly hysteric edge.

"And how come you all know so perfectly well what I have to do, when I don't even know that myself?" Her voice broke off and a strangled sob escaped her throat.

"You don't know how I feel…" She murmured in a shaky voice and shook her head repeatedly, before she drew her knees up again and slung her arms around them, feeling like her skin and muscles and all the other great tissue wouldn't suffice to keep her together and she was about to fall apart any second now.

"Hey…" Neji got up from the couch and sat down right next to her, before he slung an arm around her back and pressed her against his hard chest.

"Shh…" He soothed her and started rocking her back and forth, while she buried her face in his chest and curled her fingers around the fabric of his shirt.

"This is so unfair…" She sniffled and couldn't keep the tears from running down her face. "I didn't want to cry anymore."

"That's okay… just let it all out…" Neji whispered sympathetically and rubbed a hand up and down her back in a comforting manner.

That was about the first useful advice she had gotten up to now and even though she still didn't want it, it just felt so good and relieving to cry. She had always thought that crying wouldn't help anything, but it really did, at least for the time being. She just kept sitting there in Neji's arms for what felt like hours, crying her eyes out and in spite of the clumsy start, she was now glad he was here. It didn't even bother her to blubber here in front of him and she just took comfort in being held by him, being surrounded by his warmth, feeling like she wasn't all alone.

"I never thought we'd end this way…" She mumbled into his shirt once she had calmed down a bit. "Everything always seemed so perfect… even when it wasn't… he still somehow managed to make it seem this way… like nothing could ever happen…"

"If that had been the case you wouldn't be here now." Neji said in a bitter voice and stared at the wooden wall in front of him. "He fooled you all along, but you were too lovestoned to see that."

"Stupid isn't it? But I really thought he loved me…" She murmured with a sickly smile on her tear-stained face. "Of course he never said so, but I thought he just couldn't…"

This would be the very thing Naruto would have wanted to hear yesterday, but which she hadn't been able to utter in his presence. He had only talked about how things would become fine again, when she knew they wouldn't, whereas Neji rather confirmed her in her pessimistic view and actually supported her in all these things she had said yesterday. About how she couldn't go to him and all and yet she just couldn't get herself to agree to him. She was like a child who didn't want to be ordered around and did the very opposite of the thing she was supposed to do.

"I used to love you." Neji murmured eventually and caused Sayuri to turn her head up to look at him, not really able to grasp the meaning of his words yet.

He used to love her? She knew that he's had a crush on her, but she had never thought he had actually loved her. This was terrible. Here she was crying over her ex-boyfriend and telling him how he didn't know how she felt, when he probably did. He sat here, consoling her over a broken heart, when she had been the one who broke his heart herself and hadn't been there to comfort him.

Besides, something about his words bothered her… maybe it was the '_used to_'… she wouldn't have wanted it to be any different. She didn't want him to love her, because she clearly didn't have those kinds of feelings for him. Maybe it was something about the way he had said that. Just how very easy it was for him to admit that he loved her… In all this time she had so dearly hoped for Sasuke to say so, but he would have rather eaten a sack of stones than talk about his feelings and here came Neji and did it like it was nothing special. Like it didn't cost any overcoming.

"I didn't know that…" She mumbled, feeling really uncomfortable now, so she backed away from him a bit, as if it was inappropriate now that she knew about his feelings to be this close to him. As if it would make things harder for him, even though he was apparently over her already, what else should the '_used to_' mean?

"Thought so…" He sighed and somehow his voice sounded sad and not only his voice, his face looked sad as well, which made her only feel guiltier. Neji was a good guy, he was reliable and kind and attentive and caring. He belonged to the sort of men who wouldn't lay a finger on their girlfriends, not even during training or who'd start the day with a tender kiss and a whispered 'I love you', each and every morning until it'd become routine and yet it wouldn't turn into a meaningless gesture. If Neji had been a bit more obvious with his advances, then everything might have turned out differently. If he had tried to kiss her before she had fallen in love with Sasuke. Maybe he would have been the better choice. She was almost sure he would.

"I'm sorry." She whispered and looked at his chin, rather than into his eyes.

"About what?" He frowned and now took his hand away from her back.

"I bugged you all the time and tried to get you to forgive me, when I was probably the last person you would have wanted to see… and then I even wanted you and Sasuke to become friends…"

Instead of saying anything Neji cupped a hand around her face and wiped his thumb over her still wet cheek. Sayuri could feel how her heart rate increased, as he slowly pushed her face up, making her look at him again. There was an inscrutable look on his face and she doubted that her face looked much different, because her mind was entirely blank, her synapses were turned off, her grey matter was shutting down, all she thought about was lavender, could even smell their soothing scent, until she closed her eyes and embraced the darkness.

…

…

The day was slowly coming to an end. The sun was leaving its place in the sky bit by bit. Another fifteen minutes and it would probably be gone, but its exit was really uneventful. There was no spectacular sunset this time, just a bit of orange mixed under the greyish blue of the sky, but except for that it was pretty dark already.

By now you were able to see the lights in the windows of the buildings in Konoha, outlined against the advancing darkness. The village looked smaller and yet bigger from here; smaller because she was so high up that the houses looked tiny in comparison and bigger because from here on the cliffs you could actually see just how very many buildings there were in the Hidden Leaf Village.

It was pretty warm still, a pleasant warmth with just a bit of a fresh wind that wafted the resinous smell of the pines behind her into her nose. She loved that scent, there were so very many memories connected to it – good as well as bad ones, but somehow she mainly associated these typical forest smells with something positive.

And then there were the cliffs, of course. THE place of memory per se. The place of her dreams. The place of her past – in a way this is where their shared past began and now she was standing here without him, and could feel that hollowness creep back, as if he had taken a part of her with him and since she had felt empty beforehand, it must have been the only thing there at all, and now it was gone again…

It was stunning how very deep the chasm was and yet he had voluntarily let himself fall into it to save her. Well maybe not so very voluntarily; he had probably not wanted to end up down there, but he had tried to keep her from falling, even though he'd been injured, which is also why he hadn't succeeded. Even so he had cushioned her fall. In that brief seconds of their descent he had managed to turn her over, so she had landed on top of him, mostly unharmed, whereas he had nearly died.

She had never understood why he had done that but his answer hadn't been too satisfactory. It wasn't even so very long ago that she had asked him, just a couple of months, as they've already been living together, so she had been sure he wouldn't shrug her off with a 'just because', but would actually give her a serious reply. All he had said though was that he had underestimated the severity of his injuries and had never thought he'd actually not be able to pull her up. That definitely sounded like him, but it didn't explain why he had cushioned her fall.

His response had started off really promising at the beginning. He had said that he was much tougher than she was. This had sounded like he had already cared about her back then, like he had rescued her, because he didn't want her to get hurt and rather accepted being hurt himself. That's what she had made of his words, but of course she hadn't been so sure about it, or maybe had just wanted to hear it out of his mouth, but his explanation had been pretty sobering. He had told her that in case he wouldn't have done it, they would have both gotten hurt and wounded as he had been already, it would have probably turned out life-threatening for him either way, so he had needed her to stay unharmed and above all conscious so she could take care of him. All of this just so that he wouldn't die before he had finished off with Itachi. Then later he had even realized that it had been a gift of fate, since it had allowed him to infiltrate Konoha. There had been nothing romantic about his words, only cold calculation and now his actions no longer seemed incomprehensible or mysterious, even though there was still one open question: Why had he bothered to approach her at all?

She would like to think that he's already had feelings for her back then, tried really hard to find hints for that, but it wasn't really easy. The first thing was already refuted for the most part. The next thing would be the fact that they had shared a room for some time. Actually this arrangement had only been meant for the time the others had been on a mission, but even after that she had stayed there. He had in fact wanted her to stay there, but then this wasn't too surprising, after all he hasn't had that much of a choice. He could have either stayed with the hyperactive Naruto or with Sakura, whom he still remembered as the lovestruck little girl, so no wonder that he had chosen the ill, bedridden girl, who would probably bother him the least.

So again nothing. Next thing would be the night they had spent together in that cave; again after he had saved her from her certain death. This was definitely more obvious and harder to refute. After all they had been huddled together in one sleeping bag, so on hardly more than two square meters of space, without any clothes, well and then he had tried to kiss her. That didn't necessarily have anything to do with feelings though, but rather with the fact that they had both been freezing, naked and really close together - lust and not _love_. Besides, she now knew that it was already after the time he had slept with Karin, so after he had discovered his sexual drive, so his behaviour hadn't been as special and as out of the ordinary as she had thought. Therefore the first 'real' time would be after their fight.

He could have killed her, but he didn't and then she had nearly killed him. There was nothing arousing about that and yet he had kissed her – if at all it could have been relief that he hadn't died, but that wouldn't fit to what had happened afterwards.

But it really didn't matter. Instead of thinking about when he had started having feelings for her, she should probably find out when he had lost them, but she didn't want that. She wanted some distance to everything – to everything that was in any kind related to him, to all the memories anyway…

Maybe seeing the world hadn't been such a bad idea after all… She could go places. Invent a new name and go somewhere where no one knew her and no one reminded her of anything. She could start a completely new life, her third one, and live as yet another person until she felt good enough to go back into her old life. She was good at running away, so there was nothing that spoke against it. But then they probably wouldn't let her go. Especially Naruto – he seemed about as churned up by this whole thing as she was and then he was also totally, excessively worried about her and it was hard to stay strong and calm when you had someone pitying you all the time and telling you how bad you had to feel.

Naruto had come to her this afternoon, as Neji had still been with her. She was really glad that he had come, before she could have done something incredibly stupid. From the time on that she had thought about how Neji would have been a better choice and after she had thought he would kiss her, had even prepared to be kissed, she just hadn't been able to stop thinking these thoughts. Thinking about how it would have been or would still be if she had been with Neji instead of Sasuke, or how it would be if they came together now…

She had really thought he'd kiss her and was really glad that he hadn't, because she was sure that in case he had tried she wouldn't have pushed him away. Actually she had been close to initiating something like this herself, which was completely unlike her and yet in that situation it had seemed like the right thing to do. She had wanted to kiss him, maybe even more, she had wanted him to tell her that he loved her without the 'used to'…

This could have ended really, really bad, in case she should have given in to these irrational feelings, so she was glad Naruto had come. It was like the second he had walked through the door, she had realized what she had been about to do and had been so ashamed by her behaviour, or merely the fact that she had been thinking these thoughts, planning these scenarios that she had wished the ground would open and swallow her up.

Naruto had already known that Sasuke wasn't there, so he hadn't given her a sermon and more importantly he hadn't been able to act on his threat and talk to him himself. From what he had found out, he would be gone for about two weeks and she hadn't known how to feel about this information.

Two weeks in which she wouldn't have to talk to him. Two weeks in which she couldn't talk to him, even if she wanted to. And she really did want to. If she hadn't been so hurt by his behaviour and if she wouldn't be so much of a coward, she would have long gone to see him. It was killing her not to know what this was all about and even if the things he might tell her wouldn't be too nice, it was still better than nothing. She wouldn't be able to draw a line under their relationship before she had talked to him. So she needed to do so. If possible she would set things straight and if not she'd at least know that it was really over. But he wasn't there, which meant two further weeks of floating around in insecurities. Two weeks of changing her mind about him over and over again. And that's what she'll do. She'll definitely go through phases in which she'll be determined to do anything to get back to him and then phases in which she'll be grateful that it was over.

2 weeks are 14 days are 336 hours are 20160 minutes are 1209600 seconds – that better shows just how long a time it really was. She had far more than a million seconds to torture herself, until she could let him give her the finishing blow or not – if life had decided to turn into a fairy tale than maybe not.

The sun was gone by now and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky – just numerous tiny lights up there as well as down there in the village. It was a beautiful sight actually, but she was far too distracted by thinking about him to enjoy it. It was amazing how he always managed to do that to her. He does something and manages to wreak havoc upon her entire world. It was exasperating, but the worst part about that was that it didn't even bother her nearly as much as it ought to…

She kept standing there at the cliffs for quite some time, before she finally decided to go home. The streets in the village were entirely deserted even though it wasn't really this late yet and the temperature was still pretty mild, spring was beginning to show itself at length.

There was a park in front of her and since she still didn't feel like going home, she decided to take a longer walk. The air smelled faintly of chamomiles, even though there weren't any to be seen, but many other blooming flowers, all looking grey and nearly identical in the darkness.

She kept on walking until she came upon a large meadow, surrounding a great lake, which is a famous bathing place in summer, but the water should still be far too cold for everyone who didn't show an inclination to masochism. However on the open lawn around it, she could see a black silhouette, lying there in the grass.

"Shikamaru?" She asked hesitantly, once she had stepped close enough to the other person to at least guess who it was.

"Hmpf." He snorted and jerked his head up a little and now Sayuri was sure that he had been taking a nap and she had just woken him up.

"Sayuri?" He sat up and yawned with his mouth wide open, before he looked with a frown into the ink black sky. "What time is it?"

"Don't know… Ten I guess." She shrugged and watched the Nara nod his head and slump back down, with his arms crossed under his head.

"Isn't the grass still wet?" She asked and looked around with a sceptical expression.

"Why should it?" He frowned at her, but didn't move otherwise.

"Because of the rain."

"It didn't rain in days."

"Oh…" She looked at her shoes and saw that they really were entirely dry. Definitely strange… "Uhm… mind if I sit down with you?"

"Eh… no…" He sighed, but didn't sound too enthusiastic, or maybe it was just drowsiness still, even though she rather thought that he was afraid she'd disturb the quiet and chew his ear off.

"Thanks." She sat down next to him and looked around. It was a peculiar sight. Everything around them was pitch black, but the lake in the middle of this meadow reflected the stars and the moon and looked as if it was glowing by itself, a soft, purplish-black shimmer, reminding of the surface of an eggplant.

"Had a hard day?" She turned back to Shikamaru, who was lying with his eyes fixed on the sky, the way you often found him in his free time.

"Mmm-hmm." He nodded with a grim expression and exhaled deeply. "If I had known how bothersome babies can be, I would have skipped on being a godfather."

"No you wouldn't…" She shot a sceptical look at the man next to her, knowing that just because he was a notorious complainer didn't mean he belonged to the sort of people who shirked responsibility.

"I know, but I could have…" He sighed wearily and caused Sayuri to smile to herself.

"So how is Asuma's little girl?"

"More like a pig… All she does is grunting, farting, burping and all other sorts of unladylike stuff…"

"A typical baby, huh?" Sayuri nodded and saw the grimace on Shikamaru's face as confirmation.

"Well…at least she's not a crier…" He sighed again. "And she laughs a lot or does funny grimaces and always sucks at my fingers, I already dread the time when her first teeth appear…" There was still that typical bored or even annoyed tone in his voice and yet there was also some kind of proud expression on his face, she was even sure that he was smiling, but the darkness made it hard to tell.

"I bet you are a good uncle…" She mused, but received only a sceptical snort in return.

It felt really good to talk about something normal, something that wasn't in any kind related to a certain someone… And even though it was a good way to distract herself she was sure that Shikamaru didn't really feel like talking, so she kept quiet and lay down in the grass as well. They kept lying there like this for quite some time without saying anything, only lying around and gazing into the night-time sky.

She didn't know why she had liked looking into the stars so much.

She could spill salt on a black piece of cloth and it would have the same effect. This way of thinking bothered her… this disenchanted point of view… When did it happen that the stars had died and how come she had missed it and no one had done anything about it?

There wasn't this overwhelming sensation any longer, when you looked into the sky and tried to grasp just how high it was, or that dizzying feeling when you looked into the millions of stars and thought about infinity, only to realize that the whole concept exceeded your horizon by far and you somehow felt like shrinking with awe.

Who took the dazzling inconceivability from the sky?

It felt like she was lacking a dimension to take in the celestial sphere for what it really was. All she saw was a dull 2-D version of salt covered silk and she dearly wished for a way to fill the stars with life again…

…

…

"Gosh, hurry up a bit! We're not here for fun so get going!"

Ever since the day before, as they've commenced their journey, this is how most of the 'conversations' had turned out. Sasuke, Karin and two other ninja from Konoha were on their way to the Takumi Village in the Land of Rivers, where they were supposed to hunt down a group of high-ranked criminals, which were terrorizing the village for months now. The village's administration felt unable to cope with the problem by itself, which is why they requested Konoha's help.

It was a fairly long journey; they had only about covered half of it and thought they'd need at least four days in total. That's probably why Karin was making such a fuss all the time. She had only just gotten back from a longer mission and really didn't feel like doing yet another one, but since it wasn't up to her to decide so, she at least tried to get everyone to hurry up, so she could at least get home a day or two earlier.

"Are you listening?" She groused and turned around to look straight at the two Jounin, who were casually wandering a bit behind them. "What are you doing dawdling back there?"

All she got for a response was synchronized eye-rolling, but the two didn't seem inclined to increase their speed, still looking out for potential enemies, as they had called it. Like seriously, that's what she was here for – as if there was any chance that they could sense someone before her, so this was a really lame excuse.

"You tell them!" She turned to the man beside her, but he only walked with a thoughtful expression and his eyes fixed on nothing in particular ahead, somehow seeming even less talkative than he usually was and that was quite something. She wasn't even sure if he had heard that she had talked to him, he was so uncommonly distracted and absent the whole time, just completely unlike himself.

Again no response. Maybe there was something wrong with her speech organs, which would explain why no one seemed to be listening to her. She hated being ignored, more than anything, so she tried again by raising her voice to an even louder and shriller tone: "Hey, Sasuke! Do you even-"

"Just shut up." He hissed in a low voice and side-glanced at her briefly, the angry look in his eyes at once causing a shocked expression to appear on her face.

"Excuse me!" She put her hands on her hips and glowered at Sasuke, obviously offended by his rude words, but again instead of a verbal response, she only received a killer glare.

"What's wrong with everyone today? Are you all having your period or what?" She grumbled, her former reluctance to defy him – at least when they were among themselves – had vanished over the time, as she had sat there on the substitutes' bench, waiting for him to finally come to his senses, but nothing. She was waiting and waiting and still he was with her – that anaemic witch with her wicked goggle eyes. She must have put him under some kind of spell, which kept him from seeing that she didn't fit to him, was not even anywhere near his league. There was just a single woman in his league and that was her, but that idiot was too blind to see that. In all the time she had been in this silly, boring village, living there right under his nose, giving him all the chances in the world to finally approach her, he still hadn't realized that she was perfect for him.

It made her mad to think that she was wasting her time here, waiting for a man who was apparently poisoned with some kind of love potion. It had changed him. She had changed him. He wasn't who he used to be anymore. She couldn't quite tell what it was, but he was different, felt different. That change had started about a year ago; the special something she had always seen in him had slowly been covered by something else. Not entirely though, actually just slightly, but still it had altered and she couldn't quite tell if it was a good or a bad change. However today, or rather in the last days it was something else again. He felt darker, was so obviously on edge and somehow distracted and yet overly vigilant likewise. His chakra was flaring like he had been provoked, even though they were just quietly walking here, so she couldn't quite make sense of that. She couldn't tell what this was all about, but it clearly annoyed her. As if those two lame dumbasses weren't enough, no… he had to act bitchy and moody as well – just great… If they kept that up they wouldn't have finished this mission in a month's time.

Usually that wouldn't have bothered her, after all it would be a month together with him, but at the moment he was pissing her off too much to find something positive in this… She just had to look at him and there came frustration again.

He had used them all. She had come here to be with him and even though she hadn't explicitly voiced that, she knew that he had known. Juugo had decided to live in Konoha to get healed and yet they were putting him off and kept him contented by telling him how they were this close to knowing what to do with him and then Suigetsu. They had trained a lot at the beginning, but that had ceased over the time, as the fine gentleman had decided to rather spend his time with that air-headed girl and that blonde freak – Suigetsu was still no closer to getting his sword than he had been a year ago.

He had fooled them all into believing this was actually what they wanted and not him and had fed them with false promises to cloud their minds, so they wouldn't see that this was actually what he had wanted all along, that all advantages were on his side.

This way he could keep his image as the fair leader, who took into consideration what his team wanted. That there was at least a little amount of democracy in their platoon, when in reality all he's done was manipulating them. And fact is that even if they would want to leave now, it wouldn't be as easy as it would have been if they had left right away.

They had become a part of the village, knew some of their secrets, abilities, strategies, weak spots, geography all that stuff. Therefore they wouldn't simply be treated as a potential danger, but as S-rank criminals that had to be eliminated immediately. Hunted by the Leaf Village itself to keep its secrets and hunted by other villages to obtain these secrets. A fine mess he had gotten them into…

He probably hadn't even thought this far – none of them had thought that he would break his promises. They had all looked up to their glorious leader, the almighty, never-failing Uchiha, even when he was a cold, arrogant, dismissive bastard at times, but they had always been sure that they could count on his sincerity and that in case he should bring them into trouble he'd get them out of it again.

That's who he had been. A person who was so full of himself that his thoughts and actions had mainly circled around his own person and yet he had actually managed to live up to the picture he's had of himself and now… He was merely a cheap copy of who he used to be. That skinny little slut had made him all soft and soppy – it was hard to bear looking at them when they were together. The way he watched her, like she could get lost or fall into a drain, if he only averted his eyes for a second, not to speak of her… Everytime she saw that goggle-eyed, love-stoned look on her face, she felt like beating it out of her. Go straight for her face, until it'd only be a disgusting mass and he'd get sick by only thinking of kissing her. She'd so deserve that for having done that to him. For having made him weak and having turned him into one of those men you could find at each and every corner. Having made him ordinary, almost like those two wimps back there.

A weary sigh escaped her lips and she again glowered over her shoulder at the two ninja, who were entirely unaware of how very close they were to getting beaten to a bloody pulp. She really felt like beating someone up, so she could let off some steam, before she'd implode. The next person who dared to talk to her, or just look at her askance was already done for, that much was certain. With a little exception maybe, but not necessarily, though…

Her red eyes switched from side to side impatiently, utterly bored and in need of something to distract her, so she'd stop thinking about ways of how to get rid of her team most effectively or rather satisfactory. The region they were passing through didn't offer much of a variety though. Pines to her left, pines to her right, pines before her, pines behind her – no wonder she was about to go mad here. Just about everything seemed to be out for annoying her and then they wondered why she didn't leap here for joy… Idiots…

"Don't we need to turn right here?" Saginta, a very tall and bulky man with dark brown hair and some kind of war paint on his face had spread out a map and was holding it in both his hands, blocking the small path they were walking on completely.

"No." Sasuke replied brusquely, without even turning around to his team-leader, who now looked over the edge of the huge map.

"But it says we have to." He frowned and exchanged a quick glance with Yoshito, the other Jounin, who walked slightly behind him.

"It's a shortcut." The Uchiha said in a blank voice and just carried on walking, directly followed by Karin, whereas the other two were slowing down little by little.

"How can it be a shortcut, when we walk into the wrong direction?" Their team-leader buried his face in his map again and now his partner stepped in: "Who made you the boss anyway? When-"

"Oh! I remember!" Karin interrupted him and caused an annoyed grimace to appear on Yoshito's face. "We took this path as we-" She broke off and shot a stealthy glance at the two men behind her, who seemed clearly curious about what she had to say – just all the more reason to leave them in the dark. "There's a mountain chain in the way, if you want to climb it or walk around it that's your thing, but about two kilometres away from where _you_ want to go, there's a small passage – we'll go that way and then let's see who's faster."

"We won't split up – the map says nothing about a passage. You probably mistook it for some other place." Their team-leader murmured and still studied his map.

"I'd say you're incapable of reading a map!" Karin groused and glared at the Jounin.

"Watch your tongue! There's a reason why he is the team-leader and not you. If the map says it's not there, then it isn't. We sure won't trust in the words of someone like _you_." The other Jounin who had pretty long white hair defended his partner again and now caused Karin to come to a stop and so did the others then too.

"Someone like _us_!" She screeched and pointed at her chest. "Without people like _us_, you probably wouldn't be here anymore and people like _you_ wouldn't be able to pride themselves so much on being better than us."

"If it wasn't for people like you, we wouldn't have to be here now and it would have never come to the attacks anyway." He countered and looked at least as furious as the redhead did.

"Right. We're the source of all that's evil. Blame us for everything if it makes you feel better. What a great place the world would be if it was only inhabited by conceited dumbasses like you!" She groused in a shrill voice and felt so unbelievably good for finally letting out a little of the bottled-up anger.

"How sad that you can only communicate on such a low level." He hissed self-complacently and nearly caused Karin to fly off the handle, if Sasuke hadn't beaten her to it.

"Shut up now or I'll make you." He hissed in a callous voice and at once drew all eyes to him.

"Woah – who do you think you are to boss us around here?" The white-haired Jounin asked, his voice not as harsh and firm as before, even though he was determined not to let it show that he was intimidated on some level. Instead of answering, Sasuke only glowered at him and something about the way he looked made him sure that he was serious about his words and even though he wanted to object him, his lips wouldn't move a bit.

"Hm." Karin smirked smugly and started walking again, at once closing up to Sasuke who had just successfully taken the lead. Apparently he hadn't changed that much after all – he was far from being such a wimp as those two there, who were now trotting after them like a pair of beaten dogs. How miserable they looked, you could clearly see the word 'defeat' written all across their faces - so much to their attitude. That spell Sayuri had cast on him must wear off with the distance and he became more and more himself again, maybe once they'd be far enough away, she could convince him to never go back to her again. They could take off together and go somewhere where she'd never find him again. It would be just the two of them. Just like it had been meant to be all along.

She side-glanced at him surreptitiously, watching the profile of his face. He looked very stern and determined, like this mission was dead serious and he was full of resolution to get it over with. She loved it when he looked that way; when he looked ahead and not down at that cow. He looked so handsome and strong and cool and she wanted him. Once they were as far away from the village as they would get, she'd go for him right away, without leaving him a chance to say no.

An eager smile appeared on her full lips and she almost giggled aloud, but managed to suppress it in time. Still her mood had clearly been lifted in the last couple of minutes. Maybe things wouldn't be this bad after all, as it seemed she could definitely extract some advantages from this mission, if she played her cards right. Those two back there could become an obstacle, but she could handle that, she wouldn't let anything get in her way, now that she sniffed a real chance…

"These were more than two kilometres, so where is your passage now, huh?" Yoshito asked in a snappy tone, apparently still mad about having been put in his place before.

"Tze – it's not even one kilometre!" Karin retorted sharply and turned around to the Jounin, so she was walking backwards now. "What's with you? Are you just looking for attention or are you really that stupid?"

"Just one more word…" He pressed out through gritted teeth, his face already red with anger.

"What then, huh? What will you do?" She snapped at him and watched with a self-complacent expression how he was just about to rush forwards, when the other Jounin grabbed his arms and held him back.

"Come on – she's not worth it." Saginta tried to soothe him, but that became pretty much impossible as Karin started laughing maliciously.

"What will you do now, huh?" She sneered and watched with blatant satisfaction, how Yoshito tried hard to free himself out of the other Jounin's grip, but in vain.

"Oh, don't give me that look – he's doing that for your own safety!" She giggled, so obviously enjoying herself. "You wouldn't even- SASUKE!" She screeched and spun around, as she suddenly felt a chakra, which definitely hadn't been there just a second ago.

With a shocked face she stared at a shadowy silhouette in the wood right ahead of them. She didn't understand how he could have gotten so close to them without her having noticed it. He hadn't been there or anywhere near, so what was he doing here? He had just appeared out of nowhere – who the hell was that guy?

They all went into a fighting stance at once, as if the little quarrel from before hadn't happened and were all back to serious now. She kept her crimson red eyes fixed on the man who was slowly approaching them, before she side-glanced at Sasuke, who had, unlike the rest of them, not moved in any way and just stood there almost casually, entirely unimpressed by whoever there was – he was just _soo_ cool.

Another proud smile raised the corners of Karin's lips, as she watched her team-mate stand there like nothing had happened – he was still the old one, apparently Sayuri hadn't influenced him as much as she had thought at first.

"W-who is this?" Their team-leader called out in a not exactly steady voice, apparently feeling the need to do something because of his position, but not really succeeding in asserting his authority. An answer wasn't really necessary, because in that second the man stepped out of the shadows of the dense forest and the sun illuminated the bright red clouds on his dark cloak.

"Akatsuki…" Karin gasped and tensed up at once, remembering how very unpleasant their last encounters with members of that criminal organization had passed off.

"So now Sasuke…" He finally left the shadows behind entirely and Karin realized that it was the one with the mask and was almost glad about it, since it was that goofy one who always ran away, but still something about him bothered her. His chakra felt different, much stronger and more evil than she remembered, which is probably why she hadn't recognized it.

"I'm fully aware that I'm a few days too late, but I've been held up by something important. Still your time for consideration is over, so how will you decide?" He came to a stop, only about a metre away from Sasuke, who still looked at him with a blank face and hadn't even made a move to fight him yet.

"What's going on here?" The white-haired Jounin asked in a grim voice and moved his eyes from the Uchiha to the Akatsuki, while an uneasy feeling arose in him. "You betray-" He started but was forced to stop as a kunai tore through his throat.

Two thuds were heard as both he and his partner dropped down to the ground, both with a kunai in the side of their necks, which had hit a spot that must have killed them immediately.

With a shocked face, Karin stared at the two bodies, needing a few seconds to realize what had just happened, before she looked at the Akatsuki, as he started chortling.

"I take that as a yes." He chuckled in a deep voice and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

What was that supposed to be now? What were they talking about and how come they seemed so acquainted anyway? They sounded like they had made some kind of deal and by killing those two Sasuke had apparently agreed.

He had really killed them.

He never killed anyone, unless it wasn't absolutely necessary, so why did he kill those two now? They were too pathetic, for him to even soil his hands on them, so how come his attitude had apparently changed so drastically?

With a somewhat uneasy feeling, Karin watched how the dark-haired man now turned around to her and looked bluntly into her face.

"Karin. You get to choose: you either come with me or you'll die as well, which is it?" He asked with a stern face, making her wonder if he was really serious about this. It was such a very ridiculous question that she couldn't really believe it, like seriously, what person would voluntarily choose to be killed, when there was a not even unpleasant way to avoid it. Of course she wanted to go with him, so there was actually no point in asking this question, but still she wondered if he would really kill her if she should refuse. Actually, she didn't believe so, but then she wouldn't have thought that he'd kill those two either and yet he had. Still they were merely some obnoxious strangers, whereas the two of them were really close, probably closer than he realized, but she'd make him see soon enough.

"I do." She breathed the word and gazed deep into his eyes until she saw him raise an eyebrow and blushed slightly, as she realized that she had rather answered a question in her mind, than the one he had actually asked. "I mean… err… I do want to come with you."

She nodded brusquely, seeming somewhat stiff, her face looking like she had just smelled at something that made her hope her nose would fall off, but only as long as Sasuke was still looking at her. Once he turned back to the Akatsuki, after having given her a not exactly enthusiastic nod, she couldn't help but to grin eagerly, somewhat excited about all this.

When she had thought about being alone with Sasuke before, it had been more like a reverie, she hadn't really thought it would work out just like she had imagined, especially not this soon. That didn't matter, though – he seemed to be his old self again, maybe even better than that and that _woman_ was apparently out of the picture as well, because something like Akatsuki didn't really fit into her picture perfect little world, which meant there were no more obstacles left. Now everything would finally work out the way it was meant to be all along…

"Good…" The masked Akatsuki murmured in a contented tone and took a few steps towards the two. "There's always a use for a talented tracker… Now then, we still have quite some things to do, so let's go."

"But what about them?" Karin nodded her head towards the bodies, which lay there quite conspicuously in the middle of the way. Anyone who'd search for them would most likely find them.

"I have people for that." He waved her off and stared at her in a manner that made her wonder if he had x-ray eyes. "It really is quite useful that you're there, because I have a little task for Sasuke – just to be sure of his loyalty – and your abilities could be quite helpful…"

He finally turned his back on her again and took some slow steps into the direction out of which he had come, while Karin still didn't know what to make of this whole situation. She'd be with Sasuke – that's all she knew, she didn't know why and she didn't know what it meant and even though she did feel kind of uneasy about all this, it also made it just all the more exciting and she actually felt a rush of adrenalin, something she hadn't felt in the whole last year and that alone was enough to make her look forward to whatever was going to happen.

She switched her deep red eyes to Sasuke who was still watching the Akatsuki's back, with a somewhat sceptical or even alert expression and she really, really wanted to know what he was thinking right now, but then he started moving, slowly following that masked guy.

"Changed your mind?" He side-glanced over his shoulder, as she still hadn't started walking.

"N-no!" She shook her head quickly, a little caught off guard by his question, but then she hurried to catch up to the Uchiha and walked beside him after the Akatsuki, who would lead them into an unknown fate.

…

…


	23. Alarming news

**23. Alarming news**

Everything was bright and colourful and radiant. Just like every other day in this hidden land, which seemed to be oblivious of any other season but spring. Plants grew in the greenest of the green, small ones to unimaginably big ones, both in common, as well as in extraordinary shapes, which made some of them seem like they were leftovers from a prehistoric era, when the world was only inhabited by giants. The little shadows there were, although even they were rather blue than black, were the only thing which kept your mind from drifting off into psychedelic spheres. Yet in spite of this abundance of colour, everything seemed peaceful and calm.

There was the faint rush of a nearby waterfall in the air and the impatient tweeting of freshly hatched birds sounded out of nearly every tree. The cool western wind carried the smell of freshly mewed grass with it and wafted it against two figures, sitting engaged in intense meditation on the rim of a small basin filled with a honey gold liquid.

They were both so calm and still that they seemed to blend into their surroundings and not even the usually shy animals seemed to see them as a disruptive element and approached them like they'd do with a tree, without any fear or caution, as if they weren't even there at all. Except for the position of the sun and accordingly the direction of the shadows, nothing about that scene had changed since early this morning. The blonde shinobi and the tiny, but very old and wise toad, were as still as the numerous huge statues surrounding them. The reminders of what will happen to you if you failed the training the young man had decided to absolve.

A small bird soared in circles through the air, slowly flying down, before it landed on the shoulder of the Genin. His yellow eyes opened and he gazed to the side at the happily twittering bird, until his attention was drawn to the elderly toad, dressed in a dark brown cloak, right beside him.

"There you go! Without the oil and without turning into a frog." Fukasaku crossed his arms in front of his chest and nodded proudly.

"Hm…" The blonde looked down, apparently not sharing his master's enthusiasm.

"What is it?" He asked, not knowing what to make of his student's reaction to his well-meant praises.

"It's just… it's too slow. Everything is." Naruto shrugged and moistened his lips, before he watched the bird fly off again, scared by his sudden movement. "First it took so very long to make any progress at all and now that I've done it I still need a lot of time to get into Sage Mode in the first place, so how could I use that in a real fight? I can't just ask the enemy to wait till I'm ready so this is practically useless."

"Oh, hold on a second. First of all you didn't take long at all to absolve this first part of the training. Jiraiya-chan was already thought to have been fast, even though he needed months to get as far as you did in merely a couple of weeks, so you see, you're not slow at all."

"But what good does that do me, when I can't use it?" Naruto sighed, sounding slightly frustrated.

"Well, that's what I'm here for. As you've already realized you need time in which you have to be perfectly still in order to go into Sage Mode, which can turn out as really risky during an actual battle. However there is a way to sidestep that…" The small toad explained and at once drew the Uzumaki's attention to him.

"There is?" His yellow eyes widened and he seemed much brighter now, than just a few seconds ago. "Well tell me!"

"Actually I already did. We'll just fuse our bodies and it should be fine." Fukasaku nodded and missed how the blonde turned terribly pale in the blink of an eye.

"Wah-! You were really serious about that?" The Uzumaki shrieked and already pictured how a mixture of him and a toad would look like, when he was brought back down to earth by his current master.

"Basically I'll just sit on your shoulder, so no need to panic."

"Oh… okay then, but-" The Uzumaki looked into the air and crossed his arms in front of his chest, apparently engaged in intense contemplation, when a deep sigh set an end to his fruitless musings. "I still don't get it."

"Nevermind. I'll explain." Fukasaku said, displaying an inexhaustible patience with the blonde. "When going into Sage Mode you need to be completely still in order to gather natural energy, right?"

"Eh… yes." Naruto nodded as he realized that he was supposed to answer here.

"So far so good, but it's an impossible thing to do when you're fighting, isn't it?" He went step by step, just to make sure the Uzumaki managed to follow him all the way and the nod he gave, assured him that he hadn't lost him yet. "But when we fuse, I'll be stuck there to your shoulder and gather the natural energy for you, while you can concentrate on fighting and go into Sage Mode once I'm ready."

"That's it? Awesome! So when do we start?" Naruto jumped up and raised both his fists in front of his body in excitement.

"Woah… take it slow, we're not in a hurry. Let's do it like this, we'll first carry on with some basic Kata training and then start the fusion part."

"Alright! Let's go!"

"Oh, and Ma's making dinner tonight and I bet she wouldn't mind having a guest." The elder toad smiled, but the addressed person didn't seem too enthusiastic about this invitation. Actually he hadn't thought it possible that he'd ever say no to anything that was somehow related to free food, but that was before he's had the pleasure of enjoying Ma's rather peculiar cooking skills. The mere thought of these protein-laden dishes, the different kinds of bugs and worms and snails and all other sorts of – in his opinion – inedible stuff, made his stomach turn once again.

"Err… you mean today?" Naruto asked hesitantly, while his brain was working on overdrive to come up with a believable, non-offending excuse.

"Sure, we'll both need some refreshment after this training, you'll see – it's not even nearly as simple as it sounds."

"Yeah, well, but…" He stammered and turned his eyes away from Fukasaku's expectant face. "That's really nice and I absolutely would come, when… … when I wouldn't have a date, you see, so it's impossible today…" He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and there was an awkward smile on his face. He didn't dare to open his eyes yet and see if the toad sage was buying his flimsy excuse or not.

"A date!" Fukasaku clapped his small hands and at once drew Naruto's shocked gaze to him, the clapping sound having brought back some fairly unpleasant memories, including a staff, his head and various other body parts, which were at once seized by phantom pain, as they were reminded of how much they've had to put up with lately.

"Just the master!" The small toad exclaimed in an amused tone. "Jiraiya-chan also went back for dates almost every evening! Needless to say that his chosen lady was in most cases unaware of her luck…well I guess nothing changed about that…" He shrugged and heaved a weary sigh and so did Naruto then, but more in relief that he had gotten off this well. So he wasn't the only one who was not so very keen on eating bugs and yet it had apparently not affected Jiraiya's training, so there was probably no need for him to have a guilty conscience about his little white lie and his neglectful attitude, because actually this food was supposed to be a part of his training…

"Maybe you shouldn't take him as an example when it comes to that… Your girl knows about it, doesn't she?"

"Of course!" – Not quite – "I'm not like that pervy sage!"

"Pah – pervy sage!" Fukasaku laughed out loud, just like every time he heard this nickname. "You couldn't have chosen a more fitting name for Jiraiya-chan" He snickered, but then pulled himself together again and stared at his newest student in a challenging manner. "So what is it now? Shall we start?"

"Yes!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly, happy about how things had turned out in the end…

…

…

It was really hot outside. A dry, searing heat that didn't really go with this season, but seemed just right for the place the three shinobi were passing through. There wasn't a single cloud in the brilliant blue sky and the dusty, parched ground reflected the bright sunbeams, causing the three people, wearing these inappropriately thick black cloaks with red clouds on them, to squint their eyes.

The whole area seemed deserted. There weren't any people except for them, not a single plant, not even some rises or dips in the ground, only the reddish brown earth that was traversed by dark cracks reaching straight towards the horizon.

They had wandered through this grim area for hours, when the first bluish seeming mountains came into view, still far away in the distance. That's where they were heading to: Unraikyo – the place where the eight tails' host was supposed to be.

It took them nearly another hour, until they finally reached the said mountains, which looked like turned-over ice-cream cones and were surrounded by rings of clouds. There was a sea in between them, providing a bit of cooling and the numerous mountains threw dark shadows on the area, so it was quite tolerable.

Without saying anything to each other, they walked across the sea, until they caught sight of a mountain, that wasn't surrounded by water like the others but had a wide, almost circular plain around it.

"I can sense a really strong chakra." Karin broke the silence for the first time in hours. " He must be up there."

"These tailed beasts are nothing to mess with… Nervous?" Kisame, an original member of Akatsuki asked in a meaningful voice, as if he actually meant to say that this was the last chance to turn back.

"Hmpf." Sasuke snorted dismissively, but didn't react any further to this clear doubt about his skills.

"Not really talkative, huh? Must run in the family." Itachi's former partner said with a small grin on his face, but he only received a sharp side-glance in response, pretty much the same reaction everyone received, who talked about the Uchiha-clan in Sasuke's presence.

"I might give you some tips if you say please." His grin grew even wider, but except for an irritated glare by Karin, his words didn't earn him any response. "Too proud, eh?"

"Gosh, we don't need your advice, okay?" Karin groused, fed up with having to listen to Kisame's patronizing talk – it had only been two or three sentences, but for her definitely enough. "Up to now we have been perfectly fine without you, so what makes you think we would need your help now of all times?"

She loved using a '_we'_ when she was talking about Sasuke and her; this '_we'_ was a clear dissociation from the others and since that Akatsuki was the only other person here, it formed a stronger connection between them; the last members of Team Hebi, at long last without Suigetsu and Juugo and especially without Sayuri – there was no more doubt about that. She hadn't been a part of their team though, but she had been an obstacle, which made her at least just as bothersome as those other two. Probably even more so…

"You'll wish you had listened to me soon enough-" The blue-skinned man replied but was again interrupted by the redhead.

"- aren't you supposed to be an observer? So how about giving your mouth a rest and focussing on your eyes instead!"

"What a feisty girl you are." Kisame chuckled. "Good. Now you're all on your own." He said as they had climbed the first stairs leading up to the round plateau and found themselves in front of another long staircase, leading up to a small, shrine-like hut or maybe an adit in the middle of another mountain.

"He's in there." Karin murmured and kept her crimson red eyes fixed on the building, when they perceived some weird stammering, coming right out of it.

She scrunched her nose and shot some startled side-glances at the two men around her, but their attention was intently focussed on the hut, or rather on the man who had just stepped out of it. He didn't seem to have noticed their presence yet and was still mumbling to himself, which didn't reflect well on his mental health, that much was certain.

After a couple of seconds he tottered to the head of the stairs, performing some kind of dance-thing probably, which would almost make sense again, because now that he had gotten a little closer they noticed that he was rapping, and really badly.

"What's with that guy?" Karin asked and eyed the talent-free jinchuuriki with an irritated face. Her voice had apparently drawn his attention to them at long last and he now did a high leap and landed on the plateau they were standing on. He was very tall and bulky. His short hair and his beard were platinum blonde and therefore formed a great contrast to his dark skin.

"Who are you?" He leaned to the front, so far that he might have been in danger of falling over, especially if you considered how he had tottered around before.

"Are you the Hachibi jinchuuriki?" Sasuke asked in a calm voice, not in the least impressed by the erratic appearance of the considerably taller man.

"That's Lord Jinchuuriki to you, say-" He started but was interrupted by Sasuke.

"I'm going to capture you." He said in a blank voice and as Killer Bee was just about to open his mouth, Sasuke stormed to the front, planning to silence him right away. While running, Sasuke drew his katana and jumped up, raising it high above his head. A self-assured smirk appeared on Killer Bee's face and he gripped for one of his own katana, parrying the Uchiha's attack with it.

"Such big wo-" He started, easily managing to resist the attack with a single arm, but was then forced to shut up as Sasuke's foot collided with his cheek and caused him to stumble to the side, but he managed to keep his balance.

"Way to go! Make sure he won't open that big mouth of his ever again!" Karin cheered, standing farther back, right beside Kisame, who was silently watching them.

"Hn." Sasuke smirked, but didn't avert his eyes from his opponent, who was now turning back to him, but stared into the air, silently moving his lips in probably another stupid rhyme.

"You inspired me. Thank you, but I still won't let you live." He took the remaining swords from his back and threw them all into the air, catching them with his hands, the crook of his arms, the side of his neck, his mouth and the hollow of his knees. That was sure to have shut him up, but this uncommon fighting stance was still alarming. He was no clumsy, air-headed drunkard, but apparently quite skilled. Still air-headed probably, but he was definitely good with swords, either that or just showy. It didn't really look like he'd be able to move like this, but he was a jinchuuriki after all, so there had to be more to him than just a mighty big mouth.

Sasuke eyed him cautiously, waiting for his opponent to make the first move and he didn't take long. After mumbling something incomprehensible, since that hilt in his mouth was quite bothersome, he jumped into the air. The polished blades reflected the light of the sun and Sasuke couldn't help but to squint his eyes and in that split second Killer Bee was already in front of him, rolling towards him like a curled-up hedgehog, the tips of his blades sparkling menacingly in the high sun.

From one second to the next, Sasuke's pitch black eyes turned crimson red and he leaped high into the air, trying to evade his opponent, but he was after him at once, his physical shape apparently not affecting his agility. Still in the air, the Uchiha used his Kusanagi to block two of the blades, the one in his mouth and the one at his neck, and pushed against them, shoving himself farther back, while simultaneously thrusting his leg forwards, aiming to kick his enemy's throat, which was at the moment unguarded, while he used his other leg to kick his arm down, so he couldn't use the sword in the crook of his arm to attack.

The second his foot rammed into his opponent's throat, he felt a sharp pain in his thigh, without him having noticed being attacked. Only when he was nearly back on the ground, was he able to recreate what must have happened. He must have dropped the blade in his armpit which was facing to the back and had caught it between his elbow and his chest, turned it around and then twisted his body so that it would hit his leg. And all of that without him even having seen it.

With a light plop, his feet landed on the ground, only to jump back into the air a second later as the boisterous Jinchuuriki was right behind him again. They were about equal in speed, but Killer Bee definitely possessed a higher degree of physical strength, which meant he could gain more momentum by pushing himself off the ground; ergo Sasuke was in quite a plight.

Instead of attacking, he used his katana to fend off the attacks of the still rotating Jinchuuriki, who reminded a bit of Choji at the moment, but his one blade was hardly a match for seven. Before they reached the ground again, his body was already covered with numerous scratches and those seemed to be joined by a new one with every further second of their fight. He hadn't really managed to harm his opponent yet, at least there were no visible wounds on his body, but he had at least succeeded in depriving him of two of his swords, which had made his own situation a little better at least.

He ran backwards, Killer Bee right at his tail of course, but then put a hand on the ground to redirect his course, without having to slow down for it. He could feel how the rough ground abraded the skin of his palm, but his manoeuvre seemed to have worked out. Killer Bee hadn't anticipated his action and thanks to his Sharingan that nanosecond he had before he'd realize what was going on, was enough for him to find his weak spot, which was his abdomen at the moment and at once rammed his katana into it.

"Give him hell!" Karin shouted excitedly, already seeing this fight as won, but then she clutched her hands in front of her mouth, as she saw how two of Killer Bee's swords pierced into Sasuke's shoulder and probably his right lung.

"NO!" She screeched and at once ran towards him, at that moment too shocked to even snap at the Akatsuki for not doing anything. His chakra was still strong but getting weaker little by little. She just hoped he hadn't hit his lung.

"Sasuke!" She called his name, at that moment completely unaware that she was running headlong into danger.

"Ah… poor baby…" The Jinchuuriki sneered mockingly and pulled Sasuke's katana out of his stomach, like it was a needle, but Karin hardly registered that, her vision limited to the cowering figure of her team-mate.

"Stay back." He hissed in a low, but decisive voice and at once caused Karin to come to a halt, only five metres away from him. She watched him rise to his feet, uncommonly slow, before he glanced over his shoulder briefly, apparently checking if she had listened to him. Even though she didn't like it, she nodded and did as she was told, but just couldn't help but to feel worried. That Jinchuuriki was definitely strong and Sasuke was all on his own and as far as she could tell, he had gotten out of shape a little in the last year. Bedroom sports was no replacement for real training and now that jerk got to pay the price for that.

She kept standing where she was, but nevertheless stayed alert, ready to interfere whenever necessary, even though there wasn't too much she could do. If Sasuke couldn't handle this opponent, than she didn't even stand the ghost of a chance, that much was certain.

A shrill, chirping sound was heard and the whole area was bathed in an eerie blue light, entirely surrounding the Uchiha, who had drawn the blades out of his body and was holding them in both his hands, since his own one was lying on the ground right in front of his enemy, who didn't seem to prepare for this attack but just stood smugly around, acting cool, until Sasuke was so close that he apparently got cold feet after all and jumped back while raising his remaining three katana up to block Sasuke's attack.

Enhanced by his Chidori, the two blades Sasuke was wielding, cut into the ones in Killer Bee's hands, even though they were of the same kind. However instead of going right through them, as he had intended them to, they were stopped in the middle of them, as if something had changed about their texture.

So he was able to use lightning elemental jutsu as well. Once Sasuke realized so, which didn't take long because of his Doujutsu, he pulled back, his blank mask slowly yielding to an irritated one.

They didn't seem to make any progress. Their fight was still in the initial stage and even so, Sasuke clearly seemed to be in the inferior position. Karin couldn't help feeling anxious, she couldn't have him just lose – not to speak of die here, when things had only gotten a little more promising for them. He couldn't turn to a piece of the past when their shared future hadn't even begun yet.

She tore her eyes away from the fighting scene as she heard a weird sound, something she couldn't quite identify. Soon she realized where it came from. Her red eyes wandered to the Akatsuki or rather the huge bandaged sword he had rammed into the ground right beside him.

"What is this?" Karin enquired in a sharp voice and glared at the blue-skinned Akatsuki, who then ran a hand over his shivering sword.

"The chakra excites it. It yearns for a share of it." Kisame murmured with a light grin on his face, his voice almost sounding affectionate.

"Tze. Turn it off already!" Karin barked and turned around again, realizing that quite a lot must have happened in the few seconds she had looked away.

"Calm now." The blue-skinned nuke-nin murmured and patted his Samehada like it was a pet. "If he keeps that up it'll be our turn soon enough."

…

…

It was a busy day. Three teams of ninja had gotten back from a mission simultaneously and of course they all needed medical treatment and most of them really badly. The doctors and nurses were scurrying through ward after ward like busy bees, nowhere near being able to keep up with the vast quantities of patients all by themselves. They had already called for back-up by those who were supposed to do a later shift or those who had a free day, needing everyone who could come up with the time and yet Sayuri was just standing there at the reception, entirely engrossed in the paper work, feeling like she was in the eye of a tornado. Life was passing on around her, while she was here in the calm centre, utterly bored and dearly wishing to be a part of that hectic frenzy whirling around her.

But they didn't want her help. Well, actually they did want it; quite some people had already snapped at her to stop sitting around and help them, but she wasn't allowed to. After what happened, Tsunade had been reluctant to let her back to work in the first place; she still didn't trust her to do any more challenging tasks, so all she got to do was taking care of some bumps and scratches and of course the paper work.

There was _soo_ much paper work, she'd have to work two days straight to get it done, but sadly enough she didn't have anything better to do so she really contemplated pulling it off. Maybe by getting the impossibly messy paperwork for the clinic done in a respectable time, she could show the Godaime that she was doing well now, and that something like the past incident wouldn't happen again. But then her master made sure that she wouldn't stay here a minute longer than she ought to, so she could forget about showing off with handling the loads of documents in an astonishing time.

Tsunade still regarded her with that worried face all the time and passed by more often than she would usually do – apparently checking if she was in the process of killing a patient again, which was kind of ridiculous, because she wasn't really allowed to care for any and especially not alone.

Being treated like this was horrible, but she fully deserved it, or maybe not, but it was definitely appropriate in consideration of what she had (almost) done. Everyone else would have been treated the same way, so she couldn't complain about this being unfair and so on. Even though it still felt that way. It was simply frustrating.

However she was glad that she had allowed her to come back. She had literally begged her for anything to do, preferably doing a mission, but Tsunade had merely laughed at her, that disbelieving laugh, which had remained stuck in her throat though, as she had realized that she had been serious about that. Of course she hadn't '_risked'_ sending her out on a mission – like she was a ticking time bomb - but at least, after some further begging, she had condescended to letting her work in the hospital again, taking care of tasks which were usually meant for trainees or household slaves or anything in that ranking.

A group of people rushed past her, from the looks on their faces probably having an emergency. Her eyes followed them with a yearning look. At the moment they didn't so much look like a desperate group of people, but merely like occupation. A distraction from the boring paper work, distraction from feeling inferior, underprivileged, left out…

It was not to be. They rushed off again, joining the dizzyingly fast rotating masses of people around her, until she lost track of them and stopped thinking about them any longer.

Back to the paper work. Sorting through old patient charts. Filling in when which staff member came to work, when they took or will take their holidays, when they reported to be sick etc. – all kinds of uninteresting stuff. After an hour or so she came across her own name. It looked pretty bad for her. She had used up most of her holidays already and then she had been sick for nearly three weeks altogether and it was only just April, the end of April, but still April…

"Hey!"

She threw her head up abruptly and looked over the edge of the reception, seeing a tall, blonde woman in front of her.

"Ino…?" She looked at the Yamanaka first with a startled but then worried face. "Is something the matter?"

"Yes…" She drew out the 's' and looked over her shoulder, before she gripped a man, who had only just appeared next to her, by his upper arm and pulled him closer to her. "Because… Yashamaru here would really like to meet you." She patted him on his back and there was a hollow sound, so she must have clapped harder than it looked like.

"Hi." He smiled at her and then reached his hand over the counter and Sayuri needed a couple of seconds to realize that she was supposed to shake it now.

"Hi." She repeated uneasily and finally shook his hand, even though she couldn't really get herself to smile back at him, because she was too busy figuring out what the weird grimaces and gestures Ino did behind his back were supposed to mean, but they weren't exactly hard to read and the message she received, troubled Sayuri a little.

"Uhm…Could you excuse us for a moment? Ino?" She motioned the Yamanaka to follow her and already got up before she had her answer and stepped a few steps back, seeing that Ino was right behind her, so she went to a more remote corner of the big hall, definitely out of Yashamaru's earshot and field of vision as well, before she confronted the blonde.

"What is this supposed to be?"

"Isn't that obvious?" She raised her eyebrows, but the lack of response made her think that maybe it wasn't. "Well I just arranged you a date."

"You did not." Sayuri's eyes widened in disbelief, but the look on the Yamanaka's face made clear that she was serious about this. "Ino…" She whined and put a hand to her forehead, but the blonde tried to soothe her.

"Now don't freak out, let me-"

"You knew exactly I didn't want this." Sayuri interrupted her. "I just don't want anyone to know before I've talked to him, so going on a date is completely out of the question."

This was a pretty lame excuse. The reason why she didn't want it to go public yet, was because she was still too hurt to endure the sympathetical and pitying looks she would definitely get then. There were already far too many people who knew about it anyway. She still didn't know how Ino had gotten wind of it, but somehow she had. She had promised she wouldn't tell anyone though, but she had some doubts about that. The Yamanaka had quite a reputation and even if she did manage to keep quiet about it, arranging a date for her really wasn't inconspicuous.

"Look you're getting things all wrong. So let me explain first, okay?" Ino asked and fluttered her lashes, used to getting what she wanted this way and even though her charms failed to have their effect on Sayuri, she still gave her a half-hearted nod, knowing that there was no way around this anyway, so she might as well get it over with without engaging in fruitless debates.

"I have quite some experience when it comes to how to get your boyfriend to do what you want, so just you trust me." She paused and looked at her expectantly, but since Sayuri was sure that she wasn't done yet, she kept quiet still, her indifference causing Ino to sigh in frustration. "Now is the part when you nod and give me an enthusiastic '_I do trust you!_'… … well… nevermind. Just listen. Okay first this is about distracting you and getting you to stop mulling over Sasuke – now don't deny that, I know that you do. So just regard this as a casual get-together and not as a date. There are no rules and you decide for yourself how far you want to go."

"Ino! I'm not planning on-"

"Shh… that's your thing. I won't pass any judgement…" She winked and there was a slight leer on her lips.

"Okay now second. Well, I guess it's an unwritten rule, but guys are jealous. They all are. So once Sasuke gets to know that you're dating already, it'll probably hurt his ego. He'll ask himself how you managed to get over him this quickly and of course he won't understand it. He'll then start with trying to figure out what this guy has that he hasn't and it will drive him mad not to know what it is." The Yamanaka nodded and crossed her arms in front of her chest, nearly causing Sayuri to grin, because her pose looked like she had copied it from the cover of a self-help book, but then this situation was too serious for humour.

"And what does it help me when he gets mad? That'll only end badly for that guy and Sasuke isn't forgiving…" Sayuri looked past her, her thoughts again trailing off to the very controversial topic that had occupied them in the past weeks.

"And that's where you're wrong. It'll drive him crazy not to know what's going on. He'll lie awake at night and wonder how you are doing, what you are doing and more importantly with whom… you are doing… whatever…" The blonde woman shrugged and grinned deviously. "Anyway, he won't be able to stop thinking about you and will realize what a huge mistake it was to leave you and then he'll come crawling back to you and beg for another chance. _And they lived happily ever after_…" She nearly sang out the last words, seeing it as a fitting conclusion to her speech, but Sayuri still didn't look convinced.

"Look, it's really nice of you to arrange all this, but I don't think I should to that…" Quite frankly she was convinced that she shouldn't do that. Dating just wasn't something you did after you've just been kicked out of a relationship. It was too early still and she doubted that she'd be able to enjoy herself on a date with a guy she knew since three seconds now, but she was sure that he had something better to do than going on a date with a drag.

"Yeah, but well I don't think you're in any position to decide – I mean hey, look at your love life and then look at mine – now who do you think you should listen to?"

That was so Inoish. Telling you the most blunt and uncomfortable truth right into your face, so you first needed some time to recover from the verbal blow and were even then too stunned still, to come up with an appropriate reaction.

"See?" Ino grinned self-assuredly as she didn't get any response, which she took as a personal victory. "And he really is a cutie, isn't he?"

"Hm…." Sayuri shrugged and looked past the blonde. Cutie was pretty much of an understatement. That Yashamaru was a really good-looking guy. He was taller than her, probably Sasuke's height and he seemed a bit older than her, maybe twenty or so, although when he smiled he appeared younger again, so she wasn't so sure. He had long black hair, he kept in a messy ponytail and he had blue eyes, or so she thought, but she wouldn't put her money on it. These three seconds in which she had mostly looked at the weirdly gesticulating Ino hadn't been enough for a thorough evaluation, but his good looks had still struck her eye.

He wasn't as good-looking as Sasuke though, or maybe he was, but she just didn't see him this way. She had put Sasuke on such a high level that there was probably no one who could reach up to him. It hasn't always been like this. Right after she had come to Konoha and had witnessed the hype around his person, she had wondered what they all saw in him. He was handsome alright, but so were others, and others weren't as grim and remote and rude and self-complacent as he was. Still they had become friends… in a way… about as much as you could expect of him… She had given a lot, at least by her standards, but had rarely ever received anything, but neither had anyone else, which was probably why she hadn't given up on him, had even allowed him to become one of the most important persons in her life…

"And he has a crush on you since quite some time." Ino grinned as she saw the thoughtful expression on her opposite's face, which made her sure that she had gotten through to her.

"No he doesn't…" She slowly turned back to the blonde and eyed her sceptically.

"Well… okay, he actually doesn't even know you, but he's definitely attracted to you."

"How do you know?"

"Well, I pointed at you and said '_that's the one'_ and he nodded and said '_sweet'_" Ino imitated a male voice and started giggling. "So, you see, you can't just turn him down…"

"Why does he want to date me, when he doesn't even know who I am?" Sayuri enquired in a doubtful tone, thinking that only someone who is really desperate would go on a date with a stranger.

"I told him you were pretty, willing and desperate and then he was in on it at once."

"Ino!" Sayuri screeched with a flushed face, but Ino just kept on giggling.

"Oh, come on. I was just kidding." She shrugged her off and tried to bite back a grin, as she saw that her opposite wasn't even nearly as amused about all this as she was. "I brought him here, so he could have a look at you. If he hadn't liked you, we would have just gone away again and you would have never gotten to know about it. But once he saw you he was as keen as mustard, so… well… just do him the favour, will you?"

This was tough. Being reduced to one's looks like that sure didn't feel good, even though the assessment had turned out in her favour… But the fact that he was apparently this superficial, didn't really make her more inclined to spend her time with him, even though a date with someone like him, would definitely push her ego, which had suffered quite a lot lately and besides, it would probably distract her, which was definitely a good thing.

"Sayuri? He's still waiting there, you know?" The Yamanaka murmured impatiently and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "So what do you say now?"

"I don't have anything to wear…" And that was actually true. A great part of her clothes was still in Sasuke's house and she had been too lazy lately for doing the laundry, so she was slowly but surely running out of clean clothes. She could have gone to his house and gotten them, since she knew that he wasn't there anyway, but somehow that would have made her feel like a burglar, so she had left it.

"How come I knew that?" Ino giggled and pulled a plastic bag out of her backpack, which she then handed to her opposite. "Thank me later… So now… any other excuse or will you finally say yes? – Because you will say yes, since I have a counterargument for just about every excuse you could come up with, so just spare yourself the trouble."

"… okay…" She sighed after a couple of seconds, lacking any kind of enthusiasm though.

She'd go on a date with a person she didn't know, just to stop thinking of the person she had feelings for. It still didn't seem right, but it shouldn't matter. It didn't matter. She had pretty much dismissed the idea of going back to Sasuke anyway. She did want to talk to him, but mainly to understand what happened and not to save their relationship, as everyone (including her at times) seemed to think. He owed her an explanation. An explanation, an apology and much, much more, but to stay realistic she'd settle for an explanation. Even in the unlikely case that she should get an apology, she probably wouldn't go back to him. He's hurt her too much. The fact that he had been able to hurt her like this - so much that her whole life had gone off the rails - was scary, she couldn't allow someone to have that much influence on her. He had hurt her once so who knew that he wouldn't do it again? In the past year she had grown so fond, but more importantly dependent on him, on his opinion, his approval, his attention that she had surrendered a part of her sovereignty and she couldn't have that. She was a ninja – a medic-nin – people relied on her and how could they do so if she couldn't rely on herself? Her position didn't take dependency, especially not in such a high degree as it had been the case, therefore she wouldn't allow herself to fall back into her old role, even if he would offer it to her and even if she might want it… She owed that to herself, she deserved to have a relationship to a man that didn't disturb her relationship to herself. He's been a bad influence. Everyone had told her so, but she had just ignored that, because in spite of all this he had still managed to make her feel good. Had always managed to make her feel safe and special.

"Awesome!" Ino gave a brief laugh, before she gripped Sayuri's hand and pulled her back to her soon-to-be date. "You just make sure to enjoy yourself and I'll take care that Sasuke gets wind of it."

"Better not." Sayuri objected and caused Ino to shoot an uncomprehending look at her, before she nodded sceptically and came to a stop as they were back at the reception.

"Everything settled?" Yashamaru asked with a smirk on his face, which made Sayuri wonder if he knew what they've been talking about. It's not like it was hard to tell… the look on her face must have spoken volumes.

"Yep. Just some girl's stuff, right?" Ino turned to her friend and couldn't help but to smile self-complacently, as she saw the way they looked at each other. His full attention was focused on the violet-haired girl and hers on him, if she'd walk away now they probably wouldn't even notice.

He seemed to be a really open person and Sayuri couldn't help but to dislike the way he looked at her. He was so bluntly staring at her, actually not in a negative or disapproving way, but rather in curiosity. Still such an intense and long eye contact just wasn't meant for people who didn't even know each other. It made her a little uneasy, but she couldn't get herself to look away. He had eyes the colour of the ocean.

"So when do you finish working?" Ino brought their attention back to her and had to smile about how puzzled they looked once they broke the eye contact.

"Uhm… at six." She murmured and had to blush, because of how long she had needed to think of an answer. She shouldn't be unsettled like this…

"Good. How about you pick her up at half past six then, huh?" Ino asked the tall man, apparently doubting that they could arrange this whole thing without her help, which was probably even true.

"Sounds good." He agreed and smiled at Sayuri, whose attention was still focussed on the blonde though.

"Okay. I'll leave the details to you then. Have fun tonight." She winked at them and walked off with a huge grin on her face. Sayuri stared after her, somehow feeling betrayed that she just left her alone with him, without any prior warning, but far too soon her _date_ drew her attention back to him.

"So sweetheart – what do you want to do?" He looked openly into her eyes and there was again that wide, charming smile on his face.

Sayuri couldn't help but to blush because of his addressing. It was so uncommon, being talked to this way and then from someone other than Sasuke, even though it had also been more than uncommon to hear it from him either. Well… actually it had never happened.

While she had been with Sasuke she had somehow stopped seeing men as men, which had made it much easier when it came to how to behave with strangers, but now… She was on the market again, even though hardly anyone knew that and she doubted that there were many people who cared about it, but still it changed something about her own point of view and right now she felt terribly self-conscious and uneasy, as if being in a relationship had shielded her from all these single men which inhabited this huge planet and now she was all on her own again.

"I don't know… surprise me?" She asked hesitantly – actually quite a silly saying, but she was sure that this way they wouldn't get engaged in a '_you decide – no you decide'_ discussion.

"Wow… that's tough…" He looked down thoughtfully and scratched the back of his head. "I'll see what I can do, but don't set your hopes too high. I'm not of the creative kind…"

"Well, it's not like I'm used to anything different, so I bet you'll do fine." Sayuri assured him and had to smile as he exhaled theatrically.

"I'm mighty glad to hear that." He smiled. "Then see you in four hours."

"Right. Bye." Sayuri returned the smile and turned back to her papers, as he walked away.

Wow. If she wouldn't know it better she'd say she had just flirted with him. Really good that she knew that wasn't the case. They had talked completely casual, just that date-thing made it sound like flirting. He had to know that she wasn't out for a relationship or anything of that sort. Ino had definitely told him about her original plan, which would be making her ex-boyfriend jealous. She didn't want to handle things this way, but still, this was just about him not raising his hopes. But what if Ino hadn't told him? That would have been quite an unfair thing, but it's not like she could find out now. They were both gone, so it was too late for that. She'd just carry on doing that stupid paper work and find out in 4 hours…

…

…

This just had to be a joke – and a really bad one.

At six precisely Tsunade had come to her to shoo her away from her workplace, as if a further minute would kill her, or rather someone else. She had gone to the dressing room right away, which had fortunately been empty and had finally dared to look into the bag of clothes Ino had given her and now she was sure that Ino really did want to make her look desperate and willing.

It was a tiny, blazing red something, looking a bit like a fire extinguisher. At first she had thought it was a top, but then there wasn't something she could wear underneath it, and once she had put it on, she had realized that it was apparently a dress, or at least supposed to be one. She couldn't imagine what Ino had been thinking when she bought this; she wouldn't be caught dead wearing this.

And now she stood here in front of the mirror and couldn't believe how very cheap she looked. It would come to some really embarrassing encounters if she would be seen like that in the wrong quarters… It was only just long enough to cover her panties, at least while she was standing; she doubted it would stay like this in case she'd bent forward. Actually she wasn't really tall and anything but plump and had at times trouble with finding fitting clothes, but Ino had actually managed to find something that was too small for her. This something, definitely wasn't out of the children's department – no one would actually squeeze a little girl into something like that, so it had to be from the women's section, although she couldn't think of any shop in Konoha that had undersized stripper clothes in stock.

She wasn't flat-chested, but you couldn't say she was blessed with curves either and yet this dress was so tight that her bosom looked ready to burst it, in case she'd do something as overrated as laughing or breathing.

She couldn't go out like this. She wouldn't even wear something like this in the bedroom, because it looked nothing but cheap – being seen like that in public was completely out of the question. Just what had Ino been thinking? Actually she had just meant to get her to date that guy to make Sasuke jealous, but how did this dress go together with that? Did she think she always dressed up like that when she had a date, or did she just want to make sure that even in case she should bore him with her talk or be too tense to even say something, he'd have at least something to look at?

This had been a really bad idea. She shouldn't have said yes. Maybe she was desperate after all – desperate for distraction and Ino knew that. As she had gotten to know of their break-up, even though she still didn't know where she had gotten that from, she had come to her right away, telling her how sorry she was and what a retarded ass he was for doing that.

She's had a basket with her, filled with all kinds of confectionary, all of which contained at least enough calories to cover your daily need. She had proposed doing a girl's evening, with braiding each other's hair, face masks, gossiping and eating all the sweets she had brought with her. Had said that _they_ – so the two of them – would eat them, but in the end Ino had only sucked on a toffee, while literally stuffing the ice-cream into her mouth, as if she meant to fatten her. She had at least gained a full kilo at that single evening. Although she hadn't weighed herself, hadn't done so in quite some time, but actually for the opposite reason. She had eaten so very little in the last weeks, ever since Sasuke had started behaving so weird and she had seen that she had lost quite some weight and had therefore been afraid of stepping onto the scale. Maybe that's why Ino had done that. She had seen how emaciated she looked and had been worried about her, so she had meant to get her back on her feet. Either that or she just couldn't stand seeing that someone was thinner than her - she was definitely touchy when it came to her weight – so maybe she just planned on having her get fat… That was probably a little unfair. Ino had been really nice to her. Actually she's never had that much to do with the Yamanaka and there had been quite some reasons for that, but she had been really, really nice to her and seemed to earnestly care about how she was doing and she had definitely contributed to her getting back on her feet this quickly. She's had a pretty false image of the blonde up to now. She wasn't as superficial as she always appeared to be, if you got to know her a bit better you realized that she was actually a really sweet and caring, though very quick-tempered person and she almost regretted that she had pretty much given her a wide berth until now, just because of her reputation as quarrelsome chatterbox. Therefore she should probably trust Ino about that whole dating thing, but still that didn't excuse this dress.

With a sigh, she let her hair down trying to cover all the inappropriate skin this dress revealed, but that wouldn't do. A bit of wind or movement and it would be behind her shoulders again and it wasn't long enough to conceal her bottom, so that wasn't enough.

"Oh, Sayuri." An elderly nurse, she luckily knew a little better and was on quite friendly terms with, entered the room and stared at the violet-haired girl with big eyes.

"Where are you going girl?" She asked and looked her up from head to toe.

"Hopefully somewhere dark." Sayuri grimaced and caused the nurse to chuckle quietly.

"Would be advisable. Just make sure not to go anywhere with kids around…or fathers…"

"Haha." Sayuri said dryly, knowing when she was being made fun of, however her opposite didn't get the hint and still carried on.

"Sasuke will have to beat up a lot of men if you go out like this."

"Hm." Sayuri shrugged and looked down for a moment, before she pushed her hair in place again

"I often dressed up like this when I was young, to show my husband that I was also of interest to other men and that he shouldn't take me for granted…" She reminisced and stared into space dreamily.

"Could you do me a favour?" Sayuri asked and looked back up.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Can you lend me your jacket?" She shot a pleading look at the grey-haired woman, who seemed a bit surprised at first, but then nodded.

"Well, okay… it really is a bit fresh outside, you'd catch a cold if you'd go out like this." She murmured in that grandmotherly tone and took off her grey jacket. Her words startled Sayuri a bit, since it sounded as if she had actually thought she would go out like this… Still she recovered from that pretty quickly and took the jacket with a thankful smile.

"Phew, you're my saviour. I'll wash it and give it back to you then."

"Oh, no need to rush it. Just enjoy yourself tonight, girl."

"Thanks." Sayuri beamed at her and buttoned up the a little to big jacket and then pulled the dress down, since she no longer had to fear that the monstrous cleavage would reveal a bit too much of skin she would have rather kept hidden.

"Bye then." She waved at her and walked out of the dressing room, only to realize once she was in the corridor and saw the huge round clock, that she still had fifteen minutes left. She could just sit down somewhere and wait, but then she'd have time to become nervous, so she really should do something and then without Tsunade seeing her.

As so often she decided to visit Nao, even if only for a couple of minutes. Now that he was doing better, which mainly meant that his condition was stable and that he was no emergency patient any more, he had been moved to a different, nicer room. He was on the ground floor now, so when he looked out of the window he could actually see something other than clouds and the room was much newer and just looked a bit more comfortable than the old one, since it was meant for long-term patients.

By now the other survivor, the old man, who had turned out to be Nao's great-uncle had awoken from his coma, however he was still far from being moved away from the intensive care unit, but everyone was positive now that he would make it.

Once Sayuri reached his door, she knocked lightly and entered, after she got some sort of muffled reply from the inside.

"Oh." She exhaled in surprise, as she saw the blonde boy sit on his bed, entirely unassisted. "Did you manage all by yourself?"

"Mmm-hmm." He nodded, obviously proud, even though he tried hard to look casual and laid-back.

"That's awesome! The exercise therapy really pays off." She smiled at him, no less proud.

"I'll be able to get up soon, don't you think?" He murmured, his voice sounding a bit strained.

"If you keep that up definitely." She assured him, but in that moment he slumped back down, seeming utterly exhausted.

"Take it slow. It won't do you any good if you push yourself past your limits."

"Hm." He pouted in frustration and turned his eyes towards the window, so he wouldn't have to look at Sayuri, or rather have her looking at him in this moment of weakness.

She watched him with a sympathetic expression, before she walked to his bedside table and filled a glass with water which she then passed to him.

"Drink something." She advised him and sat down on the chair next to his bed and watched him empty the entire glass in less than three seconds.

"More?" She asked, but he only shook his head and put the glass back to its place, before he wiped his mouth and chin with his sleeve.

"What have you been doing today?"

"Well, sleeping, lying around, eating, getting examined, lying around, sitting and now again lying around." He sighed and stared holes into the ceiling.

"Wow… sounds really… exciting…" Sayuri grimaced and caused Nao to give a cynical snort.

"Yeah, still need to recover from all the action."

Such a young boy and already all sarcasm…

"Did you talk to Sasuke again?" He asked hesitantly and gave the medic-nin a hopeful side-glance.

He hadn't asked her that in quite a while, not since she had told him that he didn't have time. He had been quite disappointed then, and she doubted it would be different now, but Sasuke wouldn't do that. He had made that pretty clear, but still she was reluctant to tell him. Actually she had hoped he'd just forget about it. There were more and more people who came to visit him now, he wasn't as lonely as in the beginning, so maybe he'd realize that he didn't need Sasuke and would just forget about him.

"He's on a mission again and I don't really know when he gets back… It's quite far away…" She evaded a clear answer. She wouldn't talk to him about that again, but Nao didn't need to know that. He didn't need to know how his _hero_ had changed… Up to now he had been content with just clinging to that idealised image he had of the Uchiha; it would be cruel if she'd just destroy his illusions.

"Oh…" He looked down a bit, but then turned to the violet-haired girl again. "No wonder he is always sent on missions when he is so strong… You must miss him a lot, don't you?"

Now it was Sayuri who lowered her head, before she nodded softly. "Mmm-hmm."

It was true. She did miss him and what was worse was that she'd have to get used to it. Nothing would be the same from now on and that's a fact.

"Remember what you told me about how he defeated that Orochimaru?"

"Hm."

"What happened after that?"

"I already told you everything."

"But what about that Kabuto guy?"

"No one really knows. He disappeared for the time being, hiding somewhere out there like the rat he is." Sayuri explained in a bitter voice and gazed out of the window.

"So he might come back again?"

"Hopefully not."

"I see…" Nao gazed into the air thoughtfully, before he shrugged and asked. "Can you tell me something else then?"

"Hmm… I don't know what." Sayuri sighed wistfully, still with her eyes directed at the busy street on the other side of the window. "There's nothing left to say…"

…

…

Being the Hokage was a full time job. She got up early in the morning and went to her office to distribute the numerous missions they were asked to do to the most suitable team of ninja. Then there were the reports of already finished missions and all other kinds of organisational things. In her 'free time' she moved over to the hospital to help out there and see that everything was going as planned and in the evening she had to go back to her office again to finish off everything she hadn't managed to do in the morning, which was usually quite a lot.

Now that she had only just gotten some order into the chaos that had been going on in the hospital all day and was in dire need of some rest, she had to go back to her office again and had to take care of all these boring things, she hadn't felt like doing in the morning already and now it was even less so. She rather needed an aspirin and some ice for her aching ankles, but it's not like she could choose.

It was still bright day, the real time not going together with her inner clock, which told her it was long past time to sleep, but her work schedule was of a different opinion. Luckily the way from the hospital to the Hokage tower wasn't too long, although it wouldn't make much of a difference to all the kilometres she had already covered today.

Very few people passed her, but all of them took the time to greet and engage her in a thirty seconds chat, which was all she could spare and she was more than just glad as she finally entered her empty and perfectly quiet office.

She closed the huge door behind her and leaned against the hard surface. A deep sigh escaped her lips and she closed her eyes to take in the comfortable silence, before she walked to her desk and slumped down in her light blue chair.

There were so many documents on her desk that she was barely able to look over them. She didn't even know where to start, so she just glowered at the piles of paper in front of her, hoping to stare them down, but unsurprisingly it didn't work.

She sighed again and ran a hand through her hair, before she slammed her hand onto the closest pile and gripped for the first sheet, nearly bringing the tower to fall while doing so. And here again her sole strategy of getting her work done was glaring. As if the paper was actually to blame for the valuable minutes she would waste while working through it.

She didn't have fixed working times, so theoretically she could just call it a day and go home, but then she'd only find an even bigger amount of work here the next day and she had to do it sooner or later anyway, so there wasn't really a way around that.

She leaned back in her chair and yawned, without bothering to put a hand in front of her mouth, since she was alone here anyway, so there was no one who could feel bothered by her bad manners.

She stared down at the mission report in front of her again and had at least managed to read the first line with the names of the team members in the last five minutes. If she'd keep that up she'd have them all finished in one or two weeks. Up to then there'd be about ten times as much new stuff though, so she sure wasn't in any danger of getting bored.

As she had only just managed to work through the first sheet and was just about to sign it off, there was a hasty knock on her door, which caused her to turn her head up abruptly.

"Come in." She said, but it didn't seem as if her visitor had waited for an invitation, but rushed into the round office even while Tsunade was still speaking.

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune, her personal assistant, came to a stop right in front of her master and first put her hands to the edge of the big oak table, taking a deep breath, before she explained the reason for her appearance.

"We received a message from the Land of Rivers." She panted, while the Godaime only watched her with a raised eyebrow, waiting for her to get to the point. "They complained that the support-team they called for still hadn't arrived."

"The Land of Rivers?" Tsunade leaned forward and folded her hands on her desk, trying to recall all the details about the mission, but since she was giving so many different ones every single day it was quite hard.

"The team of Saginta, Yoshito, Karin and Sasuke set out to Takumi Village one week ago, so they should have reached it three days ago at the latest, but they didn't."

"They didn't?" Tsunade repeated for better understanding, but the frown on her face made clear that she was nothing but puzzled.

"Mm-mmh." Shizune shook her head. "They didn't send a message or anything to explain or excuse their retard. Our client even sent out some of his men to see if they had lost their way, but they were nowhere to be found."

"They didn't lose their way." Tsunade murmured in a blank voice, her eyes staring into space, the way they always did when she was concentrating on something bothersome.

"Yes, I'm convinced of that too." The dark-haired woman seconded her; their ninja were definitely skilled enough not to get lost on this relatively short distance, so it was pointless to waste any thoughts on that.

"Tsk." Tsunade gnashed her teeth and leaned back in her chair. "This is bad… It would have already been bad with any other constellation, but then Karin and Sasuke – it's a disaster."

"What does this mean now?"

"If I only knew…" Tsunade sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. "I can only think of two things and both of them are more than just disturbing."

"But what…?" Shizune asked hesitantly, as the blonde didn't carry on.

"Hmm…" She looked up, as if she had just awoken from a little nap and shook her head, before she started explaining. "It could mean that they have been kidnapped. The Sharingan is of interest to a lot of people. However there aren't exactly many who could actually stand up to Sasuke in battle, so such an opponent or more likely opponents would have to be extremely strong and cunning. And in case they really did manage to overpower and apparently abduct him, we have to assume that they have already taken his Sharingan and that he is most likely dead already, same as his team."

"Oh!" Shizune clapped her hands in front of her mouth and stared with a shocked face at the blonde woman, whose face didn't show any emotions.

"The other option would be that he left voluntarily and then the others are probably dead as well. But why would he leave? For what reason and why now?" Tsunade gazed with a grim face at her desk and you could almost see the gears in her brain working and Shizune was anxious to do anything that might break her concentration.

"It's the same as last year." Tsunade sighed after a while and put a hand behind her neck, massaging it lightly. "He just vanishes from one day to the next. No one knows where he is and no one knows why, but fact is once it gets known he'll be treated as a nuke-nin again."

"But what if he really was kidnapped?" Shizune asked. "We can't declare him a nuke-nin as long as we don't know if he really did betray the village."

"People won't believe he was kidnapped and quite frankly I share that belief as well. He is too strong for that and then there is still Danzô… He'll do his best to scare the villagers and turn them against Sasuke just like back then."

"But there are enough people who'd vouch for Sasuke. He was successfully reintegrated into society in the last year and he did a lot for the village, Danzô can't ignore that. And then there's also Sayuri. It's well known that they are together and I doubt he'd just leave her and there are enough people who'd confirm that."

"Sayuri…?" Tsunade put her elbows on her oak desk and folded her hands to rest her chin on them.

"Yes. I'm convinced that in case he left, he would have taken her with him." The dark-haired woman assured her and picked Tonton, Tsunade's pet pig off the ground.

"You think?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow and there was a sceptical tone in her voice, which startled Shizune quite a bit.

"You don't?"

"I'm not so sure… She's been acting quite weird lately. She has been overly exhausted, absentminded, nervous – like someone who has something to hide…"

"Oh! Don't tell me you really think Sayuri would do something to harm the village." Shizune stared at the blonde with widened eyes and squeezed Tonton so hard, that she gave a loud squeal, which caused Shizune to loosen her grip, before she patted her head apologetically.

"No…" Tsunade exhaled noisily and shook her head. "But she's in love with him. She might not support him in what he is doing, but she wouldn't betray him either."

"But then we have to talk to her! We need to explain what will happen if he keeps on missing for no apparent reason!"

"She knows that." Tsunade got up from her chair and walked to the window realising that it was already dark outside. "We've all been there last year. She knows how hard it was back then for him to return to the village and all the conditions which went together with it…"

"But why would she cover him then?"

"I can only think of two reasons. First, she thinks she'll be able to talk him out of it before it's too late. Second, he might not plan on returning to the village, so it doesn't matter whether he is a nuke-nin or not." Tsunade explained in a calm voice and kept staring at the dark-blue sky.

"I'm sorry but none of that sounds too plausible to me." Shizune objected hesitantly, which was something she rarely ever did.

"I know." The Godaime sighed and leaned her forehead against the cool glass. "It's all just hypothetical. It's an impossible thing to figure this out without any leads."

"Then we should talk to Sayuri, she might give us the leads we need. You want me to send for her?"

"No. It's pointless. She wouldn't tell…"

"But if we don't question her, what else should we do then?" Shizune enquired, not understanding her master's strategy.

"Contact Morino Ibiki and Yamanaka Inoichi. They will take care of the interrogations." Tsunade said in a firm voice and turned around to her assistant again, already having anticipated the shocked look she would give her right now.

"What? Don't you think that's a bit too much? Inoichi _and_ Ibiki… Only high-ranked criminals are interrogated by the two of them."

"It's necessary. Sayuri is the weakest link. The fact that she is his girlfriend makes her untrustworthy and then she also lied after the first time he came back. Therefore we need to take drastic actions, to make sure that not even Danzô could challenge the results of her interrogation."

"I see. So I'll inform Ibiki and Inoichi and send Sayuri to the intel division." Shizune scrutinized her master expectantly, waiting for any sign of approval.

"That won't do…" Tsunade sighed. "We'll have to interrogate everyone who is close to him. Luckily there aren't too many who come into question."

"Right. That would be Sayuri and his old team – I mean Team Hebi, although Karin vanished along with him which is quite suspicious, isn't it?"

"Hm." Tsunade nodded grimly and was just about to say something, when Shizune added. "Oh! And Naruto of course!"

"Good… There won't be any need to have Naruto interrogated by the two of them. I'll question him personally. So you'll send Sayuri, Suigetsu and Juugo to the intel division first. Then you'll get Naruto here, before you gather all his peers – at least those who are in the village at the moment and have them wait outside, until I call for them. He isn't particularly close to the others, but he is still one of them, so they should take care of it and it might be useful to have other people rack their brains as well." Tsunade finished her instructions and watched her assistant bow slightly before she turned towards the door, but came to a stop before it.

"What should I tell them about how to deal with this whole thing?" Shizune asked cautiously and watched how Tsunade closed her eyes before she murmured: "This whole situation is to be treated with utmost secrecy. They'll have to be as discreet as possible and try to question them so they won't notice what it's about."

"That's not what I meant…"

"Hm… Tell them to treat them as suspects. In case they notice that they hold something back they are free to act according to their own discretion, as long as they get the required information."

"I feared you'd say so." Shizune said in a quiet voice and exchanged a dejected look with the blonde, before she turned to leave again, but was held back.

"Keep in mind that this is top secret. We won't let anyone know before we have a better overview of the entire situation."

"Understood." Shizune bowed again and walked out, but was then forced to a stop in the doorframe still, by three people who were blocking her path.

"Wha-?" She exhaled in surprise, but forced herself to keep quiet, before she'd let something spill.

"I hope you didn't include us, when you were talking of keeping it secret." Koharu, a member of Konoha's council said in a raspy voice, while giving the Hokage a reproachful look. However the blonde was too stunned by their sudden appearance to do anything but gaping.

"You do know that all major decisions have to be agreed upon by us as well, don't you Tsunade-hime?" Homura asked and walked past the apparently paralyzed Shizune, closely followed by the other member of the village's council and their new best friend Danzô, who at once positioned himself in front of the two and addressed the Hokage:

"We need to talk."

…

…


	24. Uncertainties

**24.**** Uncertainties**

There had been some rain. Really not much, but it had been pleasantly cooling for as long as it lasted. However now that it had stopped, the hot, stony ground had started steaming and the whole air seemed blurred. It smelled the way that only a summer rain can smell, but it was really muggy and just breathing seemed really straining, walking was still much more of an ordeal.

The air seemed so thick and heavy that you could actually feel its weight, feel it press you down to the ground, so it was really hard to stay in an upright position. And as if the heaviness of the air and gravity weren't enough, there was also the weight of the two unconscious people Sasuke and Kisame had to carry.

He had won the fight. It had been a close thing, which he quite frankly wouldn't have expected, but he had made it. Still he was impressed by the power that Bijû had given his host. The sheer amount of chakra had been incredible and then the way he could just use his power; could transform into that beast that was living inside him.

Was this the power Naruto possessed?

He knew that the Uzumaki gained a considerable amount of strength from the Kyuubi, but he had never thought this much. He had never yet seen him do a full transformation, so who knew what he would be like if it came to that. Up to now he's never had problems with suppressing the nine-tailed in him, but with the eight-tailed that hadn't really worked… Madara had told him that the power of the Bijû was related to the number of their tails; therefore the Nine Tailed Demon Fox had to be the strongest, even stronger than Killer Bee. But then the Uzumaki didn't possess the same amount of control over his Tailed Beast, as Killer Bee did, so it should be easier to deal with him… However not in his current condition.

His previous fight had taken quite a toll on him; that he was actually able to walk seemed like a miracle and then he also had to carry Karin. He owed her something. If it hadn't been for her, he'd be dead now, so carrying her was the least he could do, even though right now he was so exhausted that he'd best like to drop her down and have a nap right here on the ground.

It would take some time for his injuries to heal and he couldn't ask Karin to cure him again. She was injured enough by herself and probably wouldn't wake up too soon and then he still needed her because of her qualities as a sensor. Therefore she had to conserve her energy, so she wouldn't end up burdening him. She wasn't really strong, but her other abilities made up for that and regardless of how their future plans turned out, Karin definitely played an essential role in them.

It had been a really good thing that the redhead had been with him, as Madara had finally decided to show up. He had successfully accomplished the Akatsuki's first task and without the help of that watch-dog or rather shark he had sent with them. At least he was making himself useful now and carried the Hachibi. He couldn't have managed that by himself, probably… he was sure that he would have found a way somehow, but it was definitely more pleasant like this.

He felt weak, he had lost a lot of blood and at least 60% percent of his body was covered with wounds and almost half of them were grave. His right shoulder was about his only, unwounded spot, but now he had Karin hanging over it and she seemed to become heavier and heavier with each passing second. The last time he had felt this way was right after his fight against Itachi and then it had taken him quite a lot of time to recover; ever since the jûin was gone his self-healing powers had suffered, but at least he wasn't dependent on Orochimaru any more. He didn't need a _thing_ living inside him to be strong. His strength came from himself, was a mixture of his heritage and hard training, therefore he'd always manage to beat those who had to rely on others.

"We're almost there, but you look like you could need a break." The blue-skinned Akatsuki murmured in an almost mocking tone and sneered at the young Uchiha. That one shot an irritated side-glance at their watch-shark, but didn't reply and not only because he was sure his voice would sound more than just strained.

"That was close… I really thought you wouldn't make it." Kisame said and somehow his sharp, pointed teeth made it look like he was smiling all the time, although right now that most likely was the case. "I would have expected more from the man who killed Itachi…"

"And I would expect his former partner to know when he is talking too much…" Sasuke glared at him and caused the nuke-nin to chuckle deeply.

"You're really alike each other and yet you're not…" Kisame murmured in a low voice, but didn't finish his statement, but it's not like Sasuke was curious about what he had to say.

They carried on walking in silence, ignoring each other, ignoring physical exhaustion, ignoring all doubts that had still plagued the Uchiha before they had set out this morning.

Before now nothing had happened, except for the fact that he had killed two of his team-mates and had joined Akatsuki, but now he had captured a jinchuuriki, who happened to be the brother of the Raikage. Now there was no going back any longer. It hadn't been an option before either, but now it was definite. Even in case he should decide that it had been a mistake to join Madara, his only living relative, he could no longer return to the village. They didn't know about his actions yet, but these kinds of things will always come out one way or the other and in that case he should better be as far away from the Leaf Village as he could, so they wouldn't catch him unprepared and would sacrifice him, the way they apparently liked to do with people that were a thorn in their side.

He didn't know the whole story yet; back then as he had met Madara for the first time, he had briefly told him something about Itachi's orders, about his sacrifice, about the treatment the Uchihas had endured in Konoha and these kinds of things. Only enough to give him a general overview of the situation, but no details, no names, no dates, no culprits. Just enough to arouse his curiosity, to make him doubt what he had believed to have happened so far and most of all it had made him doubt the life he had lived so far.

He had dedicated his life to his revenge and had now finally settled down, believing that he had accomplished his aim of life, when in reality he hadn't. When he had been chasing after the very wrong thing in all the time, had taken his revenge on an innocent person, someone who must have suffered just as much as he had in all the time, his own brother, whereas the actually guilty ones were still free, lulled in a false sense of security in the safety of their homes. The people who could still sleep soundly, could smile in his face, when the weight of murder lasted on their shoulders. They had lived their safe, meaningless lives, while Itachi had taken the blame for them. Had decided to sacrifice himself for them and apparently also for his sake. For the sake of his little brother, he had loved so much that he even accepted having him grow up with a deep hatred towards the alleged murderer of his family, just to know he'd be safe, to know he could live the life that had been refused to him… It was hard to think about Itachi this way, not after a lifetime of hating him, but apparently this was just what he had wanted. If this really was what happened after all.

He still had some doubts about what the Akatsuki had told him, and in case he turned out to be a liar he would be the next on his list. If he could trust in Itachi's words, then Madara had been his accomplice after all. He had thought he was talking nonsense – after all Madara was one of the founding fathers of Konoha, accordingly he should be long dead already, but as it seemed he was alive and well and now there was the conflict between what Itachi had said and what the Akatsuki had said and he still didn't know whom to believe. So either way he's had to join forces with him, if only to get close enough to him to kill him, but first he'd give him the chance to give him his version of the truth and if he was lucky he might believe him.

Either way, Madara's story had been enough to make him come up with all these thoughts, had made him take into consideration that there might be a different version to what he believed to have happened. He had sowed doubts in his mind with all his incomplete facts, all the hints and the blanks at the very points that interested him the most and then he had left him with more questions than answers. Telling him to go to the Naka Shrine and use his Mangekyou Sharingan on the tablet to seek confirmation for his story and that he would give him two weeks of time for consideration, before he'd get in touch with him again.

He'd been a week late, but he had come and actually Sasuke had prepared to finally hear the rest of the story, finally understand all the things he hadn't been able to figure out by himself, regardless of how very hard he had brooded over them, and there had hardly been a minute in the last weeks in which he hadn't, but instead Madara had sent them out to capture the Hachibi. To test his abilities, his loyalty and to test if he was even worth hearing what he had to say. Had told him that the Eight Tailed Giant Ox played a major role in their proceedings and was therefore not only of interest for Akatsuki but also for him.

Sasuke didn't share his opinion on that though. He didn't think there was any need for chakra monsters when it came to taking revenge on the person, or persons who had killed his clan, or rather had forced his brother to kill his own family, which was far crueller than if they would have done it themselves. Besides he wanted to kill them with his own hands, wanted them to suffer, to feel at least a fragment of the pain they had inflicted on him and his family. His plans didn't include a medium, which would do the work for him. Take the gratification of finally having avenged his parents' and now also his brother's death.

It was weird, he actually hadn't decided on what to believe and yet he was thinking from this point of view, as if he was already sure of Madara's truthfulness and that even though he didn't even know half of what he had to say yet…

He didn't even care about what happened afterwards, regardless of what path he should choose. It had always been like this, he had only concentrated on one goal and had lived to accomplish it. Everything else had more or less sorted itself out and up to now he had mostly been favoured by fortune, which was about the least, after it had practically been permanently absent during his childhood. Had even afterwards left him often enough again, like on the day Madara had approached him.

Before the Akatsuki had come he had lived in the belief that he had accomplished the task, he had dedicated his entire life to. Had started settling down, because he had been sure that it was over, that he could find his peace now that he had finally killed Itachi. Had actually started to open up to someone, had found the person with whom he could imagine to start a family, had even felt content and at ease, but only until the day that Madara had shown up to tell him that the life he was living was nothing but a lie, that it wasn't over yet and he had seriously caught himself wishing that he hadn't come and told him all that. Would have rather remained ignorant and lived the life that had almost seemed like a compensation for all the pain he had suffered up to then.

This way of thinking was only meant for weak people. He wouldn't turn a blind eye on reality, just because living a lie would be so much more pleasant and agreeable. He wouldn't get his peace, before the murderer of his family had atoned for his sins and if that meant going back to his old way of living, going back to being alone, selfish, cruel and being interested in nothing but his own needs, no one but his own person, so be it.

…

…

Against expectations she's had a really good time today, or was still having one.

At six thirty precisely, Yashamaru had been in front of the hospital to pick her up. He had changed clothes and wore a deep blue sweater, almost the colour of his eyes and some dark trousers, it was hard to tell in the dim light if they were black or grey. He had at once complimented her on her clothes and that told her quite a bit about his personality. Apparently he would tell you just about everything to ingratiate himself with you, so she couldn't rely on his words.

He seemed like a typical womanizer, it was just something about his self-assured posture, his cocky attitude and then the way he always used those awfully sweet and embarrassing nicknames for her.

She had come up with quite a lot of prejudices and things that bothered her about him in the first two minutes, so their date hadn't really started off too promising. She had actually contemplated to feign a migraine, so she could get away, before they'd start whatever he had prepared, but then something had changed.

Just like that.

It had been pretty strained at first and she hadn't really known anything to say or ask, so he's been the one asking questions, she had mostly answered rather briefly, because she hadn't really felt comfortable around him, which her body language must have given away and yet he had listened to her and had shown her that she had his full attention. So much apparently, that he hadn't seen a bench beside him and had hit his shin on it. He had at once let out a pained outcry and had jumped around and started cursing – the whole program – while Sayuri had nearly choked with laughter and this little accident, which had made him appear a bit more down-to-earth and less stuck-up, had been enough to break the ice and from then on (or a bit later, since he had been a bit sulky because of her reaction) it had definitely gotten better.

He had been right when he said that he wasn't really creative. He had proposed taking a walk in the park and even though it was nothing fancy, Sayuri was glad about it. It wasn't really obvious, people who'd see them wouldn't guess they had a date and she wouldn't be stuck in a stupid restaurant or anything, where there was no quick getting away in case she should feel like it, so his uncreative idea was in Sayuri's opinion the best he could have come up with.

They had just walked around, fully casual, and had talked to each other. First just some typical small talk about the weather, a bit of politics, really not much though and then about their work. He was a Jounin since five years now and thought about teaching in the academy, or at least taking care of a group of Genin. Apparently he liked kids.

From that point on they had advanced to some more personal topics. It had started as he told her that he actually came from Suna-Gakure and was in Konoha since hardly a year now, but already felt at home here, even though he knew only very little people and mostly just fleeting acquaintances, since it was hard to get to know someone when you had to do missions all the time.

She understood what he was talking about. She had been in the same position a couple of years ago. He had somehow managed to make her talk about herself, even though she usually didn't do so with strangers, she just needed some time to warm up to someone, but his open and straightforward nature had made it much easier for her.

He had even succeeded in making her talk about her past relationship, although she had kept it short, or had at least meant to. As she had started talking about how they had gotten together she had at times just babbled away, but as she came to the end that hadn't happened again.

After she had finished, he began talking about his past relationships, if you could call them like that. Just like she had thought he was apparently quite popular with the ladies… Still she didn't know why he told her that. Maybe just to keep the conversation going – she had talked about her boyfriend and then he about his numerous girlfriends – fully casual or maybe he had meant to brag, trying to awe her with his experience. And it did work in a way. The fact that he's had so many fleeting acquaintances (she wondered if that's what he meant when he had used the term before) worried her a little, because she didn't know what he expected from this date here.

Her first assessment must have been right, he not only seemed like a womanizer, but actually was one, although he hadn't said how deep these brief relationships had been, but she had a fairly good idea of it, or maybe just a dirty imagination. But it's not like it mattered or like it was any of her business. She didn't plan to marry him; this was just about having a good time for a change, about enjoying and distracting herself and it definitely worked. She was only using him, so she was no better than him, ergo she shouldn't be this quick to judge him.

"You wanna eat something?" The Jounin asked as they came across a small dango shop, pretty much in the middle of the park they were strolling through.

"Uhm… okay, why not?" Sayuri shrugged, not as keen as he would have liked, but by now he had gotten used to her slightly reserved attitude and just tried to ignore it. They walked to the shop and both ordered what they wanted, but as the medic-nin was just about to pay for her meal, Yashamaru held her back.

"Woah, you wanna insult me? Put the money away, I'll treat you." He gave her an impatient look and then slammed some money onto the counter. He had really mastered the ungentleman-like way of being a gentleman. "Sheesh… your dates must have really sucked if you had to pay your own bills. But never mind. I'll show you how it's done properly."

"Do you always say whatever runs through your mind?" Sayuri evaded a clear reply, since she didn't want to give him a starting point to dissect her private life, like he had done before. He hadn't just listened to her, after he had more or less forced her to talk, but had thrown in comment after comment, like her life was the book of the month in a literary club.

"Nope. Otherwise I would have collected quite some slaps already." He grinned and shot a provoking look at the violet-haired girl, who was walking beside him and just bit the first dango off the skewer

"Huh?" She looked at him with big eyes and big cheeks, seeming nothing but startled.

"How cute you are." He grinned, obviously amused about how slow she was on the uptake and even though she tried to act like she knew what he was talking about (which she didn't) and like his last statement left her entirely cold (which it didn't), the vivid blush on her cheeks and her stiff posture must have given away her embarrassment and then he even started chuckling, which didn't make it any better. He obviously enjoyed teasing her and making her feel uncomfortable, just so that he could tease her again and act like she was a naïve ten year old.

"Shall we sit down for a moment?" Sayuri asked, trying to direct his attention away from her facial colour and pointed at a stone bench, only a couple of metres away from them.

"Are you kidding? Its big brother nearly made me lose a leg!" He looked at her like she was crazy, but then he sighed theatrically and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, for you I'll risk it, but in case something happens to me it's all your fault.

"Well… okay… I guess I can live with that."

"Ouch." He grimaced and scratched the back of his head, while Sayuri sat down already. "Could you at least pretend to be worried? At least a little bit?"

"I don't know… I'm not much of an actress." She tried to keep a straight face, even though she clearly enjoyed, having moved on to a more domineering position in their conversation.

"Really? – I am." He pointed at his chest and smiled smugly.

"How come that doesn't surprise me?" Sayuri smirked and recalled all the little acts he had already performed today.

"Phew… you don't particularly like me, do you?" He gave her an uneasy smile and scratched his head again, obviously volunteering another act and he admittedly looked really convincing, but Sayuri wouldn't fall for it again.

"Oh no, you're okay I guess…"

"_Okay_?" He raised an eyebrow and gave her a disbelieving look. "Could you be a little more devastating please?" He sighed and slumped his shoulders, before he sat down on the bench next to her and crossed his arms on his knees.

"Oh c'mon. Cut it out now!" Sayuri nudged him and couldn't keep a grin from her face, but he just kept on sulking and looking all miserable and offended.

"You're… _fine_, okay?" Sayuri giggled and shook her head, not really knowing how to tell a stranger that she actually enjoyed spending time with him.

"Hah!" He at once slid closer to her and put an arm on the backrest of the bench, right behind her back.

"Now how hard was that?" He smirked and looked down at her. His face was so close that he was probably in danger of inhaling her hair, in case he should take a too deep breath.

"Honestly?" She raised an eyebrow and didn't bother to move away from him, even though he really was close.

"Err… Better not." He grimaced awkwardly and caused Sayuri to laugh lightly.

"I bet you were the class clown in school."

"Nope. Actually I was more like the geeky guy." He leaned back and looked into the dark sky, while his fingers moved a little so that he was brushing her shoulder, not enough yet to say he was touching her.

"Really?"

"Nah! But I could have been. I had the glasses and all that." He looked down at her again and observed with a smug smirk how she giggled again.

"I like your smile." He murmured and tipped her chin with his forefinger, so he could see it better. "You always seem shy and reserved, but your smile is really warm and inviting."

"Th-thanks…" She stammered, absolutely sure that her face must look like a tomato again, but she just wasn't used to getting compliments and couldn't do anything about her reaction – neither the blushing nor the permanent giggling which was really beginning to annoy her.

"How long did you say you've been with him?" He suddenly changed the topic and startled Sayuri a little, so she needed some time to think of an answer.

"Uhm… almost 15 months." It would have been fifteen months by the end of next week, but somehow she rather said 'almost fifteen' than 'fourteen and a half', since the 'almost' made it seem less final, which was actually a bad thing, since it was final.

"Such a long time and yet you're acting like a coy schoolgirl."

"That's not true!" She pouted, even though she knew it was, but then forced herself to get that pout out of her face, since it would only make her look childish and confirm his assumption.

"Never mind. I rather like sweet and smart girls than conceited, promiscuous cows." His voice sounded bitter towards the end and he bent forward and rested his forearms on his knees again, while Sayuri regarded him with widened eyes.

"Bad experience?" She asked hesitantly, wondering if she hadn't done him wrong with her opinion about him.

"Hmpf." He gave a cynical snort and stared to the ground.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be nosy."

"See? That's what I was talking about." He erected himself again and smiled at her, but his smile didn't look as easy and relaxed as before.

"Hey, you're a dancer?" He asked, completely contextless and caused a slightly dumbfounded expression to appear on Sayuri's face.

"What?"

"Just had some time to look at your ankles and they look like those of a dancer." He explained and gave her a mischievous grin, which didn't seem strained any longer, completely unlike the one on Sayuri's face as she realized that he must have stared at her legs the whole time and thanks to Ino there was quite a lot of them to see.

"You know a lot about dancers?"

"Except for what I learned during my tap-dance education…"

"_Tap-dance education_…" She curled her lips and raised an eyebrow, not believing him a bit.

"Absolutely – I'm a coryphaeus on the dance floor."

"Aha… did you do that in addition to your drama courses?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest and was still not convinced by his story.

"You think I'm lying?" He pointed at his chest and looked almost scandalized.

"C'mon!" He jumped to his feet and held his hand out in front of the medic-nin, waiting for her to take it, but she just shook her head.

"Oh no I believe you." She smiled awkwardly, hoping he'd just sit down again and would stop looking like he was about to do what she feared he would do.

"Yeah right - c'mon let's dance."

"Hell no!" She objected as he just gripped for her arm and pulled her to her feet.

"Ha! You cursed!" He stared at her with widened eyes and looked seriously shocked. "That just destroyed my whole image of you. You're not as nice and sweet as you make believe, huh?"

"Never said I was." She murmured and looked up as Yashamaru let out a husky laugh.

"Good to know." He gave her a meaningful look and then put a hand on her shoulder. "Let's carry on walking then, chere."

And there he did it again. This was about the tenth pet name he had given her by now and then he wondered why she felt uncomfortable. She just wasn't used to being called sweetheart or honey or whatever and quite frankly she didn't need that. She wondered if he had forgotten her name and was just too proud to admit it or didn't want to offend her by not remembering something as crucial as her first name. Actually she can't remember having told him and as Ino had introduced them, she hadn't mentioned it either, so perhaps he really didn't know. Maybe she should mention it, but how could you just casually slip in your name? Should she start talking about herself in the third person? Better not. She hated it when people did so; it made them sound so stuck-up and self-important and she didn't want to come across that way. Accordingly she would have to put up with being called one embarrassing name after the other.

They strolled around for another hour and Sayuri still hadn't managed to figure out if he was one of the good guys or if he was only good at pretending so… However now at the latest it was impossible to overlook that he really was interested in her. It was just something about the way he looked at her and used every chance to touch her, like putting a hand on her shoulder when he wanted her to come to a stop or squeezing her hand lightly to get her attention whenever it seemed like she was spacing out and then of course the nicknames. And now he had even proposed walking her home, even though it wasn't really this late yet and she was a big girl so she could have perfectly well managed to walk on her own, but he wouldn't hear of it. Like it was actually dangerous for a girl to walk through Konoha's streets at ten o'clock in the evening. But he said that this was what a real date is like and had again just shaken his head about her cluelessness, which he really liked to do.

"You're living quite remote, huh?" He asked after they had walked for almost half an hour and still hadn't reached her home.

"A bit, but there are enough houses around." She explained and guided him to the left.

"Your parents at home?" He raised an eyebrow and gave her an inscrutable look.

"Hardly." She murmured after a couple of seconds and kept her eyes directed to the front. He couldn't know. She had only told him that she had come to Konoha a couple of years ago but nothing about the circumstances, so it wasn't this unusual for him to ask, there surely was no deeper meaning behind his words…

"You're living alone already? How old are you seventeen, eighteen?"

"Eighteen."

"You had problems at home?"

"Hm." She shrugged and thought of a way to reply without really answering his question. "I'm living alone ever since I came to Konoha."

"Really? But you could have been no older than twelve then!" He frowned at her and just kept on probing, not realizing how his conversational partner retreated more and more with every question he asked.

"Seems so." She sighed and wished he had left her to walk home by herself. First she wouldn't have to go through this questioning then and more importantly she would have gotten past the saying-goodbye part already, because she wasn't quite sure how to do that.

"You ran away?"

"I… It's complicated…"

"Well lucky you. I'm pretty quick-witted so you won't have to repeat yourself or explain everything in the minutest detail." He grinned archly, while Sayuri watched him with a baffled expression. "So let's hear it."

"Another time maybe." She tried to put him off, hoping he'd just drop it, which actually worked for a change, but what he deduced from her answer wasn't so much better either.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but that really sounded like you asked me for a second date." Yashamaru stepped into her way and gave her a smug smirk and Sayuri was at first too taken by surprise to even think of a reply.

"T-that's not… I mean…I don't know…" She stammered and looked down, her face feeling like it was on fire. She really didn't know… She liked him and all, but she didn't really want to start something new yet.

"You still have a few minutes to think of an answer, so I'll just be extra-charming, to help you a bit with your decision." He winked at her, with a wide grin on his face, before he turned around and prepared to walk again.

"How much longer do we have?"

"Uhm… about five minutes." Sayuri murmured and started walking again, closing up to Yashamaru.

"That's not much." He said in a musing voice, but then tripped over a stone and stumbled against her, nearly causing her to fall.

"Woah, I'm sorry." He apologized and held her elbow to steady her. "It's probably an after-effect of my accident from before; I'm usually not that clumsy."

"And why did you run against that bench then?"

"Tactics." He shrugged and had a proud look on his face.

"_Tactics_?" She frowned at him, not really understanding how clumsiness and a tactic went together.

"Yep. Tactics. I first ran against that bench to relax the mood a little, which worked out, and now I could make use of the severe injury I sustained only because of you, to stumble against you now." He explained, but the medic-nin still didn't really get the second part and the first one was only plain stupid.

"And you needed to be injured in order to knock me over…?" She said the words really slowly, but it didn't help her find sense in them. "So what does that help you now?"

"Easy. I can now just take your hand, so it won't happen again and there's nothing you can say about it since I'm only concerned about your safety." He grinned and closed his hand around hers in that moment.

"Impressive…" She giggled, as she couldn't think of a counterargument to his argumentation. "You should become the mastermind of some super-huge, top-secret organization – they always need people with a ridiculously complicated way of thinking."

"Hey, it worked, right? So don't question my methods. I know how to get what I want." He smirked and pulled her closer to him. She bumped into his chest and stared at him with wide eyes, but he only smiled at her and then carried on walking like nothing had happened.

She didn't really want to be held by him like this, but it would be rude to just push him away now. After all he was really nice to her and apparently put a lot of effort into getting through to her. And then she really liked him, but somehow felt guilty for doing so. It was too early still to replace Sasuke; it would feel like cheating somehow… She's had this weird feeling all night. It was just something wrong to do, this whole dating-thing, and yet she enjoyed nearly every second of it. And wrong as it felt, it was also really pleasant to be close to someone, to be given compliments, just to be treated like someone special. Her ego needed some pushing and he was the perfect person for that. Still that didn't change anything about the fact that they were now approaching a really awkward situation, because her house was already in sight, which meant the saying goodbye part was up next…

Her experience with that equalled zero. She wasn't used to dating and everything that went together with it. At first she had been alone and had actually not planned on changing anything about that, then she had been in a relationship with a single person and they hadn't really gotten together in the usual way, and when they did have 'official' dates they mostly hadn't turned out that well… so she was a complete newbie when it came to dating and she didn't know what he'd expect once he dropped her off at her door.

She could literally feel how every single muscle in her body tensed and felt like there was a broomstick instead of a spine in her back, which made her walk like a robot and it just seemed impossible to hide her anxiety. At least it was dark and he was looking to the front, so he might not notice.

"Something wrong?" He asked and cocked his head to the side to look at her.

Of course he noticed. How else could it be? After all he was holding her, so he had to feel the broomstick first hand.

"N-no." She shook her head hastily and tried hard to smile, but a smile that was so hard to keep where it was supposed to be, couldn't look convincing.

"It's okay." Yashamaru moved his hand up her back and gave her shoulder a light squeeze. "I was nervous too as Ino proposed this whole dating thing. Actually I don't do something like that… blind dates and so on… I only did it because I owed Ino a favour, but now I'm really glad about it." He smiled at her and came to a stop a few steps in front of her house.

"You're really something else…" He looked deep into her eyes and softly brushed her hair behind her shoulder, causing her to shiver lightly.

"Uhm… I live here…" She stuttered nervously and nodded towards her house, which was the only one in sight anyway, but this way she had an excuse to break the eye contact, because he was really making her feel jittery.

"Figured as much." He smirked and now she felt stupid for having said that – damn nervousness. Now she didn't know what to say any more and neither did he apparently, so they just stood there and stared at the ground, or at least she did, which is why she didn't quite know what he was looking at.

"So now…" He murmured and scratched the back of his head.

"Yes…" Sayuri nodded and forced herself to look at him again.

"I really enjoyed this night."

"Me too. Thank you…" She smiled at him and saw from the corner of her eyes how his hand reached up and he again brushed her hair out of her face, the tips of his fingers barely touching her skin.

"That smile again…" He closed his eyes and shook his head, before he gave her a long look. "Makes me want to kiss you."

Before she even had time to grasp the meaning of his words, his hands settled on her shoulders and a second later she could feel his lips on hers. It was a short but sensual kiss and Sayuri even caught herself closing her eyes, so she was glad that he pulled away by himself, because she wasn't quite sure if she would have managed to do so on her own. First Neji (well actually not) and now him – as it seemed she was really into kissing lately…

His hands had moved down to her upper arms, but he was still holding her and kept his face close to hers, waiting for her reaction to his sudden ambush. However she still needed some time to digest what had just happened and just enjoyed the closeness and that pleasant feeling you had after a kiss.

"Yashamaru?" She whispered after some time, already in an apologetic tone and finally opened her eyes, only to see him close his, before he moved a little away from her.

"I knew it…" He sighed wearily, but at least managed to summon a strained smile on his face.

"I'm sorry…" Sayuri bowed her head lightly and folded her hands in front of her. "I really do like you and all, but… it's really bad timing."

"Phew… can't be helped I guess." He crossed his arms behind his head and looked to the side, his features seeming a bit strained. "Maybe one day it'll seem like better timing."

"Maybe." She smiled and now drew his gaze back to her and he started smiling as well.

"This is goodbye then… think of me once or twice?" He fluttered his lashes and cocked his head to the side, waiting for a reply.

"Huh? Why not…" She shrugged and could barely suppress a new wave of giggles.

"That didn't really sound convincing…" Yashamaru pulled a wry face and gave her a sceptical look. "Hey, how about a goodnight kiss at least?" Now his mischievous grin made its comeback and he pointed at his cheek expectantly.

"Well… okay." She agreed. He kissed different than Sasuke, but also really good, so she truly wanted to kiss him, but didn't want to want so and then she was always comparing the two, which really didn't make it easier for her stupid conscience. But then he was only talking about a little, innocent goodnight kiss, so it should be okay.

She slowly leaned forward, while he lowered his hand again and moved his cheek closer to her, so she couldn't possible miss it. However a split second before her lips would have touched it, he turned his head around, so she ended up kissing his lips after all. Actually she wanted to move away, but as it seemed her body was no longer ruled by her brain but by her hormones, so this turned out as anything but a little, innocent goodnight kiss.

Then they heard something, so they both pulled away from each other and saw that they were surrounded by three ANBU.

"Sayuri, you are to come with us." One of them said in a clear, commanding voice.

"W-what…?" She stared at them with a shocked face, not knowing what they were doing here and why they had to come now in this situation. Maybe that was it. They just caught her in flagranti with another man and would now punish her for being unfaithful.

"What do you want with her?" Yashamaru had taken a step in front of her and it was weird to hear him speak in such a serious and hard voice – that sure didn't match his class-clown image.

"We are to take her with us by order of the Hokage." The one to their right, who had a really coarse and craggy voice explained.

"It's okay." Sayuri put a hand on his shoulder and took a step past him, feeling a bit uneasy about this whole thing and yet she was glad this happened. It was better to rely on others to keep her from doing something stupid than to rely on her own hormone-driven self.

"See you around." She forced herself to smile at him, before she took a deep breath and stepped towards the three ANBU, who were now orderly lined-up in front of her. She gave them a light nod and a second later the four of them had already vanished in the darkness, leaving only a swirl of dust and leaves behind.

…

…

They seemed to be in quite a hurry to get her wherever they meant to get her.

They had almost reached the very other end of the village and had barely needed ten minutes for the whole way. She had thought they'd go to the Hokage tower, but as it seemed they didn't. They were heading too far north to get there and Sayuri couldn't help but to feel uneasy about this whole thing. Why did Tsunade send out three ANBU to get her and where did they bring her anyway?

She had asked them, right as she had noticed that they weren't going to the Godaime's office, but none of them had felt obliged to answer her question. That's what she hated so much about most ANBU; they acted like they weren't even there and only did what their orders told them. Just because their stupid masks gave them immunity, they apparently thought they were invisible and could accordingly not be addressed and therefore didn't have to answer… She had never yet had a normal talk with an ANBU – at least not when they were on duty and she doubted that it would ever happen. But then she didn't really have much to do with them anyway and when that was the case it was most often connected to something not so nice, which might explain her prejudices.

As they almost reached the town wall, they finally slowed down and since she was wedged in the middle of them she had to do so, too. She wasn't really familiar with this part of Konoha, since there was nothing that could be of any interest to her, so she didn't at once recognize the building they were now standing in front.

It was pretty big and grey and massive and the darkness made it hard to discern anything special about it, so it merely looked like a giant block, with some smaller blocks attached to it and Sayuri had no idea what she was supposed to do here now.

Without saying anything – surprise, surprise – they led her into the building and now for the first time Sayuri saw a sign, so she squinted her eyes to read it:

_Konoha-Gakure, Intel Division_

What in the world was she supposed to do in the intel division? She had been here once, quite some time ago, as she's had to bring some documents from the hospital to some forensic scientist, but that was it and she couldn't think of a single reason why she should be here now.

The two in front of her moved on to the glass door and held it open for her, like actual gentlemen. She hesitated a second, still trying to understand what this was all about, but then the one behind her pushed her forward already and then she was inside.

There was a bit of a whirring in the air, but except for that it was perfectly still. The halogen lamps above their heads were glaring bright and everything was either white or light grey, so the whole interior looked drab and sterile and that made things somehow worse. Sayuri could feel how her fingertips started tickling and the bright light caused her to become overly vigilant and nervous.

The ANBU seemed well-trained; their steps didn't make a single sound on the dull linoleum, so Sayuri tried hard to walk as noiselessly as possible as well, but it wasn't so very easy, with that far too tight, movement-restricting dress, which had made getting here at the pace they had set quite an ordeal and then the slightly heeled ballerinas (also Ino's), which clicked a bit on the floor, regardless of how careful she was. And she tried really hard and cringed internally with every click-clack she heard and then also the slight echo, which carried it through the entire corridor, so everyone in this building had to know of their entrance now. But then the whole, long corridor was empty. There were various doors on either side of it and a glass case, containing some certificates and information panels, but that was about it.

She could see two further ANBU stand at either side of a door at the faraway end of the hall and as it seemed this is where they were heading to. They walked really slowly this time and she was almost glad about it, since this way she didn't have to hold on to the hem of her skirt so it wouldn't ride up, but still it was just more time of not knowing what this was all about, so she would have rather gotten it over with already.

She switched her eyes from side to side, although it didn't help anything, since all the doors were closed and except for the doors there was only white wall, but still it was better than staring at the backs of her escort. Then one of them started rummaging in his pocket and she could hear a rattling and was sure that it was that of a key, but he didn't pull it out and kept his hand in his pocket, so she didn't know for sure. She averted her eyes from the tallest of the three and looked to the side again, at one of the small windows in the upper half of each door and for the first time the room wasn't empty. She slowed down a bit, trying to be inconspicuous about it, and looked at some strands of orange hair, before she rose on tiptoe and could see a bit of the profile of the person's face, but then the ANBU behind her pushed her again and received an angry look in return and then they were past the door already.

She was sure it was Juugo. She hadn't been able to see much, but his hair-colour and then his height were quite prominent and what little of the face she had been able to see looked like Juugo as well. But then what was he doing here? Was this where Tsunade worked with him? She didn't do so in the hospital, because that would be too risky, in case something should go wrong. So maybe that's why she was here. Maybe Tsunade had some kind of breakthrough and now needed her help with it, but then why the ANBU and why the secrecy?

They came to a stop in front of the door right next to the room, Juugo was in and now the ANBU at the front finally took his hand out of his pocket and really did hold a key, or rather a set of at least thirty keys. He started sorting through them and tried to fit some into the lock at the door but none of them was right – poor organization, but with that many, almost equal looking keys it wasn't so very surprising.

It took him almost a minute to find the right key, but the second he turned it in the lock, the huge door at the end of the corridor flew open. Sayuri turned her head to it at once and saw a cluster of ANBU come out, with Suigetsu in their midst. Her grey-blue eyes widened slightly and a disbelieving frown appeared on her forehead. First Juugo and now Suigetsu, things were getting stranger from second to second. The Houzuki looked somehow worn, the way he walked as if his head was too heavy for him to hold upright, but then he apparently spotted her as well and gave her a meaningful look, which only added to her confusion.

"Damn, this wasn't supposed to happen." The ANBU with the key hissed unhappily and finally held the door open, before the pushy one behind her did what he was best at and pushed her roughly into the room. She stumbled into the middle of the plain office and as she had only just caught herself, she heard how the door behind her fell shut and then there was a click and she was sure they had just locked her in. She spun around at once and rushed towards the door, rising on tiptoe to peer through the small window, but all she could see was the door on the opposite side of the corridor and a bit of the white, textured wallpaper, but then the group around Suigetsu appeared, but none of them paid any attention to her and two seconds later they were already gone and she still didn't know what this was all about.

…

…

"Is that everything?" The pretty blonde woman asked and leaned back in her blue chair.

"Mmm-hmm." Naruto, who was standing in front of her desk, nodded grimly and looked to the floor, still a little shaken by what he had only just gotten to know.

"This is bad…" Tsunade sighed. "Not only is it really little, but then I can't even tell if it's of any use to us…"

"I can't imagine he planned to leave…" Naruto repeated for at least the sixth time in the last hour, trying hard to convince himself into believing it.

"So you really think he was kidnapped?" The Godaime asked in a sceptical tone, not thinking too highly of this idea.

"Probably not…" He exhaled noisily and glanced to the side, to avoid Tsunade's piercing eyes.

"Very well." The fifth Hokage folded her hands on the oak table and gave Naruto a sharp look. "The others should be waiting outside. Get them in."

"Others?" Naruto gave her a startled look, but then nodded and turned to the door. Once he opened it, he saw Shikamaru, Neji, Sakura, Shino, Ino and Hinata stand in the rounded corridor, all of them looking quite strained and anxious. Same as him they had apparently not been informed about why they were supposed to come, but had seen it as a bad sign that there were so many of them here at this hour.

They all looked at him with questioning expressions, apparently a little alarmed by the uncommonly grim look on his face, but he only motioned them to come in and then turned his back on them again, moving back to where he stood before.

The six newcomers slowly entered the spacious office and looked around nervously, as if the room itself might help them understand what this was all about. They lined up in front of Tsunade's desk and now every bit of anxiety was replaced by a serious expression.

The Godaime watched their expectant faces for a while, before she harrumphed and started explaining the reason for their being here.

"Six days ago the team of Uchiha Sasuke set out to a mission in the Land of Rivers, but today we received the message that they still hadn't arrived yet."

Somehow the quality of silence changed after her words, but no one interrupted her, so she carried on. "The Land of Rivers already sent out tracking squads of their own to search them, but they were nowhere to be found and in consideration of the members of this team we can't just outwait the situation."

"Members?" Ino asked, since the only name mentioned up to now was Sasuke's.

"Mmm-hmm." Tsunade nodded. "Sasuke and Karin."

"Karin, too?" Ino raised an eyebrow sceptically. She had never really liked the redhead. She was rude to practically everyone but Sasuke and then the way she always threw herself at him, although she very well knew that he had a girlfriend, which was just cheap – and now they were gone together, right after he had broken up with Sayuri… Definitely strange…

"Yes, her too, which would make it quite hard to find him, in case he doesn't want to be found."

"What?" Sakura's emerald eyes widened slightly and she somehow felt like being thrown back in time. "You think he left by himself?"

"At this point we can't tell." Tsunade sighed and pressed her lips into a thin line. "It's either that or he was kidnapped - that would be all the options I could think of, which is why you are here now." She let her honey-gold eyes roam across the people in front of her, who looked like they still needed to digest what they had just heard, so she waited a couple of seconds before she carried on. "You are closer to them, might have overheard or seen anything that might help us at this point, or maybe you are just more creative than I am. Either way, we need to act quickly, because Danzô has already heard of his disappearance and is eager on making him a nuke-nin again."

"WHAT?" Naruto screeched in a high-pitched voice. "He can't do that. He doesn't even know what happened!" As he had been alone with Tsunade, they had only talked about what he knew, but not about what they were going to do now, so he's had no idea of how urgent things were.

"You know Danzô…" Shikamaru murmured in a low voice. "He will seize even the tiniest chance there is to get what he wants."

"But he can't do anything without the permission of the Hokage." Neji said, but there was a questioning tone in his voice.

"No and that is why he ordered a council meeting for tomorrow. In case he should get sufficient support by the representatives of the village he can defy my opinion and act as he pleases."

"But then he first needs the support. I can't imagine the villagers would sell Sasuke out this quickly, not without any solid evidence." Sakura stated and looked down with an unhappy face. Before she had said that she had almost been sure of it, but now that the words were out, she could pretty well imagine that they would do it. It wouldn't be the first time.

"The council meeting is only of secondary importance to us. First it would be helpful to grasp what is going on at all." Tsunade said in a firm voice and received some nods in return. "So? Any ideas?"

"You said you ordered us here because we are close to him, but that's not really the case…" Sakura murmured and could feel how the corners of her mouth sunk down, but then she forced herself to carry on in a steady and yet somehow grim voice. "Shouldn't you have brought Sayuri and the rest of his _new_ team here?"

"They are at the moment being interrogated by Inoichi and Ibiki. We'll get the results of their interrogations as soon as they are done."

"By father?" Ino stared at the Hokage with widened eyes, knowing exactly that it was rather uncommon for her father to work together with Ibiki and that it meant bad news. Maybe she hadn't quite realized yet how serious the situation was. "Wouldn't it have been enough if you had just asked them?"

"No." Tsunade merely shook her head, not feeling like repeating the same thing she also told Shizune and Naruto all over again.

"I don't think he just left." Naruto got back to the actual topic. "That's just not like him."

"Why not?" Neji asked and gave Naruto a grim look. "He did so before, so why shouldn't he do it again?"

"But that was different. He left because of Itachi – what reason should he have to leave now?" Naruto countered in a snappish tone, as if Neji's interjection had been a personal attack.

"What do I know? He might have come up with yet another stupid obsession." The Hyuga met his gaze and looked no less irritated than the blonde.

"You just say that because you can't stand him - where's your proof?"

"If there was any proof then we wouldn't have to be here."

"Neji is right." Tsunade threw in, as she saw that the blonde was about to open his mouth for his next retort. "We are not here to argue, but to cover every possible scenario, so unless you don't have another idea-"

"I do!" Naruto exclaimed. "What if he was blackmailed or threatened? That would explain it all! It would explain why he was acting so weird lately, why he broke up with Sayuri and why he left now."

"He dumped her?" Sakura turned to her team-mate with wide eyes, same as Shikamaru, who were the only ones in the room (except for Shino) who didn't know about it yet.

"Mmm-hmm." Naruto and Neji nodded grimly, before the Hyuga asked: "How does it explain that he left her?"

"To keep her safe of course! Now that would finally make sense. He left so he wouldn't endanger anyone." The Uzumaki suddenly looked much brighter and was at once totally taken in by his new idea.

"Tze… You think far too highly of him." Neji hissed, at once causing Naruto's transitory good mood to vanish in an instant. "It sounds like you actually believe that he thinks of someone other than himself."

"Yes Neji. I do think so." Naruto glowered at him and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "He made some wrong decisions in the past, but he has never been a bad person."

"He's just a good actor." Neji countered, but then cringed as Tsunade slammed her flat hand on the table.

"Enough now. Both of you." The Hokage said in a firm voice, before she started massaging her sleeves. "You think he was blackmailed? That might very well be, we can't tell, but if that really is the case, then their must be a reason for his disappearance."

"So he might be a threat to Konoha-Gakure after all." Shino said in a calm voice and at once drew all eyes to him, not so much because of the thing he had said, since that was what ran through everyone's mind at that moment, but because he had spoken at all.

"I don't think he was blackmailed." Shikamaru murmured and leaned against the bookshelf beside him, while crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Why not?" Naruto screeched and looked with a sour expression at the Nara.

"Do you really think that Sasuke would give in to blackmail?" He raised an eyebrow and now really did manage to shake Naruto's belief in his own theory. "You are even saying that it went over weeks – that just doesn't sound like something he would put up with."

"Shikamaru is right." Sakura said in a dejected voice. "He doesn't shirk confrontations; he would do something about it right away. Even if the odds should be against him… that's just who he is…"

"But that's the old Sasuke." Naruto objected in a desperate tone, trying hard to defend his idea, just because he didn't want to believe in the other ones. "He changed. Maybe there was nothing to get by standing up against his extortionists. Maybe he just didn't have another choice…"

A long silence followed Naruto's words and was only broken as Tsunade heaved a deep sigh and buried her face in her hands. "So we can't dismiss the extortion idea. Anything else?" She looked up again, but then turned her face to the door, as she heard some steps in the corridor.

The others did it like her and stared at the closed door until it was opened, without any knocking or addressing and in came one of the people they talked about before: Suigetsu.

"Oh. Having a party?" He smirked and scratched the back of his head, before he walked into the office and lined up with the others.

"What are you doing here? You were supposed to be kept in the Intel Division until all interrogations are done." Tsunade said in a slightly disgruntled tone, a bit angry about how the whole organization part had turned out. Not only that they had let him go, but that he had come here right away, which had to mean that they hadn't been able to keep the reason for his questioning secret.

"Well – I'm picked up in the middle of the night by a group of ANBU and then have some people mess with my brain – which is anything but pleasant." He gave the Hokage a sharp look and now everyone noticed how exhausted he looked. His clear violet eyes were slightly reddened and there were dark rings under them. His forehead was covered with tiny beads of sweat and he was breathing through his mouth, as if he had just done some training or anything physically exhausting.

"So what did Sasuke do that you have the three of us interrogated?"

As it seemed he picked up more than he ought to, but it was probably still good that he was here. He knew both Sasuke and Karin quite well, so he might have a better idea of what was going on in their heads. Still she would have rather waited for the results of his interrogation, just so that she could be sure he was telling her everything he knew and more importantly telling the truth.

…

…

Slowly but surely she was regaining her consciousness again. She hadn't really been unconscious to begin with, but not really conscious either, so the term seemed appropriate. She felt like she was drugged or drunk or just suffering a severe blood loss. Her mind was foggy and so was everything around her and all sounds were dull and distant, as if she had plugs in her ears. She tried to move but it wouldn't work. Although she didn't know if that was because she was still too weak for it, or because something kept her from it, but she could swear it was a mixture of both. She could feel something touch her skin, something hard and cold and she was sure this something was keeping her immobilized.

There was a faint murmuring in the air, human voices that much was certain, and yet she didn't understand a single word of what they were saying and somehow that unsettled her. She tried really hard to disperse that cloud from her mind and it did work in a way, just far too slowly for her taste.

She squinted her eyes, blinded by the bright neon light, when she heard a clicking sound and whatever there was around her opened up like an oyster. Everything became a little clearer then and she recognized the huge room she was in. It was almost like some kind of auditorium or amphitheatre. The ceiling was at least seven metres high and the walls seemed really thick and were made of large grey stone blocks and there were some huge pillars embedded in the rounded walls.

She was still in the room they had brought her in before. She couldn't even tell how long she had been here and needed some time to recall what she was doing here at all, but as she saw the people around her, the memories came back much faster than she would have liked.

She was still in the intel division. They had brought her here and locked her in that office, where she had waited for almost an hour, before they had led her into this huge and daunting room, with all these apparatus and gadgets she had never seen before. Her eyes had at once fallen on Ibiki, who had stood right across from the door in the most intimidating posture he could have possibly come up with. She had been so taken in by his sight that she had barely noticed the other people in the room, which would be Ino's father, who stood in front of some kind of semi-round machine and then three Chunin, who sat at some sort of stone desk.

First they had led her to a chair, which stood in the opposite side of the room and looked kind of lonely and just tiny over there. The three ANBU, who had also brought her here, had made her sit down on it and then they had left. Ibiki on the other hand had approached her and circled her like a predator, but without saying anything. Another of the various intimidation tactics he used and with which she was quite familiar by now. Then he had started asking her things, many things and she remembered that his questions had made her feel really uncomfortable, could still recall the inner conflict she had, the question of would she get away if she lied to him?

Then Inoichi had taken over and had led her to this thing in the middle of the room and now she was as good as out of it again. She didn't remember their questions or whatever the Yamanaka had done as she had apparently been out cold. Although she could pretty well imagine it… She knew what the Yamanaka-clan was famous for and she couldn't say she was happy about it.

Her brain was still recovering from whatever had been done to it before and worked really slowly and wasn't really able to handle all the sensory input of the proceedings around her. That's why she didn't at once notice the hand Inoichi had reached out to her. He probably realized that she was still in a dazed state and therefore just took her hand, before slowly helping her get to her feet.

She wanted to ask him what he had done, but her mouth seemed glued shut and then she wasn't really able to figure out the right words anyway, so it didn't really matter. She just stood there and stared into space, hardly able to manage blinking, when she felt something at her shoulder. She slowly moved her head to the side and stared with an empty gaze at a hand and then followed the arm until she looked into Inoichi's green-blue eyes.

"I'm sorry." He gave her shoulder a little squeeze, but received only a distraught look in return.

What was he apologizing for? Did he apologize for having searched through her brain or did he feel sorry because of what he had found out? Was this apology meant as an expression of his condolences? Who knew what he had seen. It could have practically been everything; every single second of her life. Just to think that there was now a person who knew everything that ever happened to her, everything she had ever done, every thought that ever ran through her head, was more than just disturbing and yet she only felt numb and drained and was really thankful for that.

"You are free to go now." He dropped his hand again and nodded towards the ANBU at the door, who then nodded as well and walked out.

"I… can go…?" Her voice was entirely shaky and so were her legs, but as Ino's father gave her a nod she was out of the door in less than five seconds. This time the long white corridor was empty and although she just wanted to slump down on the spot and digest what had just happened, she still waited until she was outside and at least 50 metres away from the building before she did so.

He could have seen it all, from the happiest to the saddest moments in her life, from the most embarrassing to the most intimate situations. He might have now found out about all the lies, all the secrets she had kept right after Sasuke had come back. He might have seen how they had gotten together, even how they had slept with each other or how they broke up. What if he had seen it? She doubted she could ever look into his face again if he knew… But she had no idea how exactly his jutsu worked, so maybe her worry was exaggerated. She really hoped it was…

But why had he been interrogating her anyway? Why him and why Ibiki? And what was about Suigetsu and Juugo? There was just one thing that connected the three of them and that was Sasuke. She was almost sure Ibiki had asked her out about him, so what did that mean? Maybe he did something or something happened to him. That might explain why they had interrogated them and apparently also erased their memories about it. It shouldn't matter. She was done with him, so why should she care about what he had done?

But what if he was in danger…? - Nonsense. He could very well look after himself, he didn't need other people, he had made that clear often enough. But what if not? Maybe what was happening now was an explanation for what happened before… Maybe she'd finally get to know the reason of why he had changed so much lately. Damn it. This morning she had still thought that it was actually good that he was gone and had enjoyed herself so much on her date with Yashamaru and now all her thoughts were centring on him and she was again totally worried about him and tried to turn all this into something to defend his behaviour.

It was no use. She would have to go to Tsunade and ask her personally what this was all about. She still felt a bit dull but had more or less recovered from the interrogations and the Hokage tower wasn't far away and her head should be clear enough to express her concerns in a comprehensible, rational manner.

She meant to rush there, but that was no good, so she took her time and needed nearly ten minutes for the little bit of way. She walked up the stairs and entered the green carpeted corridor in front of Tsunade's office. The lights were turned off and there was no one around, so she cautiously made her way to the room she hoped to find her master in, although it was quite late and the switched-off lights made her wonder if she was there at all. Once she stood in front of the heavy oak door she knocked, first just softly but then louder and entered the office, although she didn't get an invitation from inside.

"What is going on here?" She asked in a startled tone, as her eyes fell on the not so small assembly of well-known people inside of Tsunade's office.

"Sayuri-chan!" Naruto turned around to her at once and looked kind of glad about her appearance, although there was undeniably a hint of agitation in his face. Every single one of them looked fairly gloomy or maybe just tired.

"And here comes the next one." Suigetsu smirked and gave Sayuri a curious look, before he turned back to the Hokage. "You can't have been too clear about your orders."

"Hmpf." Tsunade emitted a sulky sound and looked to the side, knowing exactly that he was right.

"What is this all about…?" Sayuri asked again, after she hadn't received an answer the first time, but the people around her seemed too busy with looking at their feet to enlighten her.

"Sasuke is gone again." Hinata finally murmured in an uneasy voice and looked at the violet-haired girl with a sympathetic expression. However Sayuri was too stunned by her words, to even see that or feel a little of the comfort her eyes were promising.

"W-what do you mean he is gone…?" She moistened her lips and now looked at Tsunade, who looked clearly distressed, which alarmed her all the more.

"Actually I didn't mean you to know about it yet…" The Godaime sighed and ran a hand through her long, blonde hair. "But as Suigetsu pointed out, things aren't going according to plan."

"But she has to know! She is his girlfriend after all!" Naruto exclaimed noisily and stared with a disbelieving face at the fifth Hokage, while Sayuri lowered her head and couldn't believe how easily his words could make her feel all miserable again.

"Yes, Naruto." Tsunade rolled her eyes, seeming slightly impatient. "At this point there is no way around that anymore. Close the door."

She hadn't even realized that she was still standing in the open doorway, so she did as she was told and now finally entered the office, lining up with the others. Somehow she felt like standing next to Suigetsu, which was something that would usually not happen, but simply because he had been interrogated as well formed some kind of connection between them and at this moment she actually felt close to him in a mysterious, incomprehensible and unprecedented way.

"Sasuke vanished along with Karin and now we are here to find out why and decide on what to do about it."

"With Karin?" Sayuri sucked in her bottom lip, because she was sure it would start trembling, but in that moment she was too shocked to check if that was the case or not.

"Mmm-hmm." Tsunade nodded grimly. "So did you notice anything suspicious lately? Did they meet often or did he ever mention something that might be helpful now?"

"No…" She shook her head and took a deep breath. "He barely ever left the house in the last weeks, so I don't think he saw Karin…"

"So you claim that you didn't notice anything?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow sceptically, not really believing her, since they have been living together after all and then, as she had only just gotten to know, they had broken up now of all times…

"He changed…" She shook her head again and gazed to the floor, feeling all the emotions she had tried so hard to suppress well up in her again. "He didn't even seem like himself anymore…"

"Explain."

"I can't… He just… he was everything he usually wasn't and nothing like he used to be."

Tsunade scrutinized her student, who seemed like she was on the verge of tears, before she switched her eyes to the other people, who were all regarding the violet-haired girl with commiserative expressions.

"Alright then." She sighed and closed her eyes, before she rested her chin on her folded hands. Actually she hadn't even contemplated that Sayuri might not know anything about it. She had counted on the results of her interrogation, since she had been convinced that Sasuke must have told her, but apparently she had misjudged their closeness.

"What will you do now?" Sayuri looked up again, trying to be brave and force back those tears, but she still couldn't get over the fact that he had left and most importantly together with Karin.

"That's what we were just discussing. We'll stick to the original plan. There'll be a retrieval group, which will set out to search them and act according to the different scenarios we have worked out so far. Let me sum up. He either betrayed the Leaf Village, which would mean we don't know what he is up to, but he might be a potential threat to us, in which case your top priority lies in tracking him down and stopping him, regardless of how you do it." She narrowed her eyes meaningfully and the grim expressions on her opposites' faces made her sure that they understood what she meant, so she carried on: "In case he was blackmailed, things are pretty much the same, but in that instance, you should manage to return him to the village. Last option is that he was kidnapped, in which case he is probably dead already. Therefore your duty would be finding him, getting his corpse back to Konoha or if it can't be avoided disposing of it on the spot, and making sure that no one attains his Sharingan."

"D-dead…" Sayuri murmured to herself and didn't really comprehend what she had just heard. Were these all the options they had? One was worse than the other and she couldn't even tell which ranked at the top. Would it be better to know he was dead, rather than assuming he had betrayed them? Again? She just hoped it was that blackmailing point. It might even explain what happened to them. Why he acted the way he did… Maybe. She shouldn't raise her hopes, because of some mere guesses, but it's not like she could help it. In spite of everything she told herself, she still had feelings for him; she couldn't just switch them on and off like a lamp. And if it was not really his doing… If there had been a valid reason… But even if not she wanted to make sure he was safe, since even if he didn't care about her any longer, she still did…

"Shikamaru, you'll stay in the village; depending on the outcome of tomorrow's meeting I might have to rely on your advice. Besides your, Ino's and Hinata's father belong to the circle of representatives of the village. Therefore please inform them of what has been said here and try to convince them that it would be best to delay the decision making, until we have enough evidence to make reasonable decisions." The Hokage looked at the addressed people with an expectant face, until she received some consenting nods and sighed quietly.

"Phew… so far so good…"

"As the representative of the Aburame clan, my father will attend the meeting as well." Shino reminded her in a calm voice, although he felt rather offended because of being overlooked as it so often happened.

"I'm well aware of that." Tsunade soothed him. "However because of your abilities I decided to add you to the retrieval group."

"Hn." He nodded without displaying any sort of emotions.

"So the team of Hyuga Neji, Uzumaki Naruto, Aburame Shino and Haruno Sakura will set out to search for them and decide on the spot about how to proceed. As the only Jounin Neji will act as your team-leader."

"Understood." Neji nodded, while Naruto looked a little sulky, since he had never yet been allowed to lead a team and that had nothing to do with his status as Genin, since Sasuke was a Genin as well and still he had led quite some missions.

"I think you forgot to mention my name." Suigetsu raised an eyebrow and gave the Hokage a meaningful look.

"And mine. Please let me go with them." Sayuri turned to her master with a pleading look on her face.

"Right." The Houzuki casually put his elbow on Sayuri's shoulder and grinned at her, before he switched his piercing violet eyes to the Hokage again. "As you said we are the ones who know him best, so you really should let us go."

"A six-person group would be too suspicious and Sakura is already in the team, so there is no need for a second medic – and about you…" She turned her eyes to Suigetsu, who then interrupted her.

"Before you go on. Let me remind you that Sasuke is still indebted to me, so I'll go and search for him regardless of your orders, and if you leave us no other choice I'll just take Sayuri with me." He shot a challenging side-glance at the girl next to him, who was a little shocked about his words, but then nodded her head and turned back to the Godaime, hoping she wouldn't let it come to this.

Tsunade glowered at him, upset that Suigetsu seriously had the nerve to confront her, the Hokage, with a fait accompli, but before she could even think of a response, Neji stepped in.

"Who do you think you are to talk like this to Hokage-sama?" The Hyuga asked in a stern voice and glared at the Houzuki. "You'll do as you are told and don't even think of dragging her into this." His pale lavender eyes switched to Sayuri for a brief second, but enough for her to notice so.

"He isn't dragging me into this – it's my own decision." She said in a sourly voice, but was then interrupted by Tsunade.

"No. It is _my_ decision and I don't think you are in any condition to join this team." Tsunade explained and received a shocked glance by the violet-haired girl. "Not only did your performances deteriorate lately, but I also doubt you'd be able to cope with the psychological pressure of this mission."

"But-" Naruto wailed, but Tsunade raised a hand to silence him.

"I don't think you are aware of the seriousness of the situation. There are more than enough reasons to believe that he is a traitor. Do you think you could kill him if it came to that?"

"…No…" Sayuri shook her head helplessly and looked to the ground. "But I'm sure that Neji would gladly take that burden from me." She side-glanced at the Hyuga, resentment clearly visible in her features.

"You're not even a couple any more. Why do you want to join this team so badly?" Sakura asked and frowned at her old team-mate.

"I just…" Sayuri stammered, keeping her hazy blue eyes firmly fixed on the ground. "I just want to know he is safe."

"But you're ill." Hinata stammered uneasily. "Don't you think this will be too much for you?"

"She is doing much better!" Naruto said. "You have to let her go. In case Sasuke really did leave by himself, then Sayuri is probably the only one who could convince him to return." Naruto defended his team-mate and received a thankful smile in return.

"Look at you. You're still not fully recovered. This is an S-rank mission and the medic-nin could turn out as one of the most important members of the team." Tsunade said in a stern voice, but then sighed as she saw the distraught expression on her student's face, so she carried on in a softer voice. "I know this is hard for you and that you are worried about him, but that's just all the more reason for you to stay here in Konoha. In your condition you would only burden them and slow them down so-"

"You're wrong!" Naruto exclaimed and walked to stand beside his team-mate, who seemed clearly affected by Tsunade's harsh words. "But even if not, I'll personally look after her and make sure she won't get into our way."

"So will I." Suigetsu smirked and winked at Sayuri, although he still didn't have the official permission to join the team.

"Please, Tsunade-sama." She bowed lightly and gazed openly into Tsunade's golden eyes, until the blonde looked down and curled her lips.

"Very well." Tsunade sighed, not willing to sacrifice more time to discuss with these bullheads, when time was about the last thing they could spare. "Shikamaru, Sakura I'd like you to attend tomorrow's meeting as well and lend me your advice. Hinata, Ino, you know about your orders, please set out immediately to inform the leaders of your clans about the situation."

"Understood." The two girls nodded and rushed out of the office at once.

"Neji, Naruto, Shino, Suigetsu and Sayuri, pack your things and meet in thirty minutes in front of the main gate."

"But Hokage-sama!" Neji protested, anything but happy about the constellation of his team, but Tsunade wouldn't hear of it.

"Dismissed." She barked and after giving some consenting nods, the five members of the retrieval group left her office, so there were now just her, Sakura and Shikamaru left.

"Phew… this didn't really go that well…" Tsunade sighed and started massaging her sleeves. "Now we'll have to wait for the results of the interrogations and prepare them for tomorrow. We should get them soon."

"Hm…" Shikamaru nodded grimly, before he addressed the blonde woman. "In spite of your dissent, I do understand Sayuri's role in this team, but do you really think it is wise to let Suigetsu go with them?"

"Right, I mean he is a nuke-nin after all." Sakura added and still felt a little upset about not being allowed to go with them after all, although she would never admit that.

"Ex-nuke-nin." Tsunade corrected her. "And I think he is the most important person in this team. No one is more likely to find someone than a creditor his debtor, believe me, I have quite some experience with that…"

…

…


	25. Search operation

**25.**** Search operation**

There was only very little time to get all the preparations done, which was good, since it meant there was also only very little time for thinking.

Right after Tsunade had dismissed them, they had left the Hokage tower and Sayuri had been mindful to get away before Neji would have the chance to catch up to her. She didn't know if he had meant to do so at all, but better safe then sorry. Neji was about the last person she wanted to talk to right now. She knew that he didn't mean harm or anything, but still she was angry that he had been so obstinately against her being in the team.

This wasn't so much about him being worried about her or the mission, as it had been the case with the others, he just wanted to make sure she wouldn't search for Sasuke, she was absolutely sure of that. After all he had said so himself, he had said that he wanted to make sure she wouldn't go back to him and that she deserved better and all other sorts of silly stuff. What did it matter what she deserved when he was the one she wanted? Or maybe not. She didn't even know it herself, but in any case these were very personal things and although Neji was one of her closest friends it was still none of his business.

She had moved home at about the same speed as she had, when she had been rushed by the ANBU, although after the interrogation it seemed far more straining than before, which wasn't good at all, since she would most likely have to move at the very same pace in the next time.

They didn't have much time with Danzô doing his best to expel Sasuke from the village again, so they couldn't just stroll around and hope they'd run into him sooner or later. Maybe Tsunade had been right and it was really a bad idea that she was joining this team. In her condition she might actually slow them down. Naruto had promised though that he would make sure that wouldn't happen, but still she didn't want to burden him. This mission would probably cost all of them a lot of effort as it was, they didn't need her to make it even harder for them.

Maybe she should rethink her decision and let Sakura go after all. As she had said, she wanted to make sure he was safe, but when she was really only getting in their way, then maybe she would cause this mission to become a failure. Maybe they'd find him and get involved in fights and then they'd need a medic-nin to take care of their injuries and what if she would be too knackered then from the mere journey to care for their wounds and they'd die because of her? It was a precarious situation, but the urge to see him with her own eyes outweighed it all. Her decision was maybe not rational or reasonable, but it was the only one which came into question. Staying at home and letting others do the work for her was not an option so she'd have to make sure she'd be able to keep up with them.

Again she needed only about ten minutes for the way and thought she'd make it to the gate in five minutes, which meant she had fifteen minutes left for packing her things, which should be more than enough. She was glad that her dog was still with the Inuzuka's. He was staying there ever since their break up. She had been ill and in a really bad condition, which hadn't changed too much, and then she had been asleep so often, so she had thought it would be better for him to stay with them, before he would rot in her house because she overslept and missed out on taking him for a walk.

Once she reached it, she stormed right into her house and instead of packing clothes and weapons, she went straight for her kitchen cabinets and rifled through them. There was no trace of the small plastic bag she was looking for and the longer she searched, the more nervous she became, since she felt how time was running out.

Then she remembered where it was. All cabinet doors were open and all drawers were pulled out, but she didn't bother to close them, but went right to her bed and knelt down in front of it, to pull out the two backpacks she had stowed underneath it. After rummaging through them, which turned out as quite difficult since her hands were all shaky, she finally found the desired item and heaved a relieved sigh, before she looked into the small plastic bag with the military ration pills, she had once been given by Hana for helping her out in her veterinary practice.

There were about twenty left – more than enough. A single one was supposed to refresh your chakra and nourish your body, so you'd be able to fight for three full days and her main concern was only running at the moment, so it should be fine. There were so many that she could even share them with the others, so she would contribute something to their team after all. She would make sure she wouldn't burden them, even if that meant she'd have to eat five of these pills at one go, which is clearly not recommended.

She didn't hesitate to take the first one and after hardly more than three seconds she could already feel a wave of concentrated energy drive all the exhaustion and weariness out of her body. It even managed to dispel all the self-doubts from her mind and she felt like there was nothing she couldn't do right now. Like she was on a trip. She really wondered why she didn't take them more often…

Now that the most important part of her preparations was done, she took off Ino's awful dress and the unpractical shoes and put on her usual attire, before she started packing some clothes, weapons and most importantly her medical pouch, which she had luckily restocked after her last mission and not used since then, so she wouldn't have to check on it.

Not even ten minutes had passed once she felt she was done with everything, so she set out straight away, thinking it would make a good impression if she'd be there a bit earlier. It wasn't a long way to the gate and boosted by the soldier pills she needed only about half as long as expected, so she really was there first and somehow felt proud about that, although there was no one to see it, however that initial good feeling didn't last too long.

Plainly standing around, with nothing really to do, brought back all these thoughts and now that her head was also much clearer that wasn't really a good thing. She became aware of all the flaws in her plan, and there were quite many. She realized that she didn't even have a real plan, but only counted on probabilities… On the one hand she just couldn't get herself to believe he was dead. It just didn't work. She tried to brace herself for this, so in case he really was dead, it wouldn't catch her unprepared, but it just seemed ridiculous. She couldn't say why, but she was convinced that he was still alive, just couldn't believe that there was any way for him to die, stupid as it sounded.

Thinking about his mortality seemed just absurd and unrealistic, so she skipped it. However thinking about him having left Konoha wasn't really better. Not because it was unrealistic or anything – on the contrary – it was just too painful to dwell on. She just hoped it was that extortion thing. Wanted to believe that he had left her and now left the village only in order to keep them safe. Some kind of heroic, martyrish thing, just something that might keep the picture she had of him alive, or rather revive it. But it just seemed so perfectly fitting. After all he had started acting so weird from one day to the other and she's always had the feeling that he tried to push her away, even though he didn't really want that and it had been obvious that he was hiding something and now he was gone.

She couldn't really imagine what someone could blackmail him with and how he would actually give in to that, but there were many things she couldn't imagine, which didn't mean they couldn't happen. But it was clearly a reason to worry, this whole situation was, and one of the most bothersome things was that Karin had vanished along with him. What if he had only left the village to be with her? Almost nice and considerate of him to not start a new relationship right under her nose. Still this was nothing she wanted to think of right now…

He had never seemed particularly fond of Karin, in spite of what there had been between them. He's only had practical interests in his team-mate and had pointed out often enough that her persistent and pushy nature annoyed him. She should really forget about that, before she'd just turn around and go home after all. And anyway the fact that he had vanished with Karin didn't have to mean anything. After all it wasn't only Karin but also two other guys and then he hasn't had any influence on the constellation of his team – that had been all Tsunade's doing, so it was probably just a stupid coincidence that Karin had been with him on the day he vanished.

Not even five minutes later she heard the first sounds that indicated the arrival of one of her team-mates and as she turned around, she saw no one else but Neji and couldn't keep her mood from dampening a little – if that was still possible, since she hadn't been in a good mood to begin with.

"Sayuri." He said her name in a steady voice and approached her.

"Neji." She nodded stiffly and couldn't keep an irritated tone out of her voice, which Neji didn't miss.

"You're angry." He stated the obvious, but only received some eye-rolling in return. Actually he didn't deserve that, but she needed something to channel her insecurities and worries through and what better way was there than through anger?

"Listen…" He sighed. "I know you feel like you have to be a part of this team, but still, please rethink your decision and let Sakura go."

"I've made up my mind, Neji." She looked to the side and crossed her arms in front of her chest, taking on a defensive posture.

"You don't have to do this. There aren't any obligations, nothing. You're not even a couple anymore, so-"

"-this is none of your business Neji." She narrowed her eyes and glared at the Hyuga, feeling how her hands started shaking so she balled them into tight fists, hoping he wouldn't see how much his words upset her. "As the team-leader, I can understand that you are worried that I might hinder the mission, but I'll make sure to keep up with you and-"

"I'm not worried about you burdening us." Neji shook his head and couldn't believe that she really thought he'd care about something like that. "I'm worried about you. As Tsunade said this mission is connected to a lot of psychological pressure, especially for you and I'm not sure you can handle that. You were a total wreck after he left. It wouldn't be good for you to see him, now that you've only just gotten better."

"Are you my psychiatrist now?" She snapped at him and could see a dark silhouette in the distance, quickly approaching them. "I'm a grown up. I have to know for myself what is good for me and what isn't, but even if not it's my own decision so stop mothering me."

It was mean, so mean that it almost made her feel better, but just almost. If it hadn't been Neji but some stranger, she would have felt quite fine now, but since it was one of her best friends, who was for no solid reason at the receiving end of her bad mood, caused a guilty conscience to overshadow the satisfaction of letting off some steam. She finished her rant, right as Naruto caught up with them and although he had probably not overheard anything of what they had said, he still cast some anxious looks from one of them to the other, literally feeling the tension between his two team-mates.

"Phew – dead on time." The blonde grinned and looked around. "So there's only that Suigetsu-guy missing, huh?"

"And – Oh!" Sayuri gasped as she saw Shino stand with his back leaning against the town wall, barely two metres away from them. She hadn't heard him coming and judging form Neji's reaction he hadn't either. Who knew how long he was standing there already. How much he had picked up of her little dispute with Neji and how very bitchy she had been. Embarrassing…

"After he'd been so eager to join this team you should think he'd be punctual." Neji hissed and gazed at the empty street, leading into the village.

"He isn't really late yet." Sayuri defended Sasuke's old team-mate, something she usually wouldn't bother to do, but at the moment she'd probably do anything to oppose Neji. What a rebellious girl she was – next thing she knew she'd go to bed without brushing her teeth…

"Guess you're right." Naruto shrugged. "But still he could at least hurry up a bit."

"Let's already go through the details then." The Hyuga sighed and stared into the village, but still no sign of their last team-member. "Sasuke and his team were on their way to the Takumi Village in the Land of Rivers, so we'll stick to the usual route to get there. We don't know how far they've come, but I doubt they vanished anywhere near the Leaf Village, so we should try to buy some time by covering the first part of our journey as quickly as possible. Once we leave behind the immediate area, we'll have to concentrate on finding their traces."

They all nodded, once Neji finished his instructions and by now Shino had also decided to stand in their little circle.

"The major difficulty is that we have no idea when they vanished. For all we know it could have already happened right after their departure, so their traces might be quite old and the weather conditions might have caused them to fade. Shino, will your insects be able to pick up their traces nevertheless?" Neji asked and turned to the Aburame.

"If there are any traces of their chakra left then yes. It would be best if they fought. The signs of a fight are more apparent and won't fade this quickly, but even if not I'm positive that I will find them." He explained in a detached voice, although he had just indirectly said that he hoped they had gotten into trouble.

"Hmpf." Naruto snorted and looked about as grim as Sayuri did, but then glanced to the side as he heard some steps and saw that Suigetsu had now finally decided to show up, although he seemed to have all the time in the world to close up to them.

"Oh, everyone here already." He scratched the back of his head and gave the group in front of him a cheeky smile. "Can we go then?" He asked sounding completely casual, like they meant to go on a picnic and not a highly dangerous mission.

"We meant to leave precisely seven minutes ago." Neji said in a strict tone and glowered at the Houzuki, but that one didn't seem to pay any attention to him.

"Alright then let's go and look where Sasuke is hiding!" Suigetsu exclaimed with a wide grin on his face and cast a piercing glance from one of his current team-mates to the next.

"We don't know if he's hiding." Naruto wailed, unwilling to even take this option into consideration.

"Yeah right." Suigetsu snorted and curled his lips, obviously amused. "He was kidnapped and is dead now, uh-huh."

"We don't know what it is, so we should finally take off!" Neji hissed impatiently, knowing that it was his duty as the team-leader to make sure that this mission was a success and as Tsunade had pointed out they had absolutely no time to lose, so they should finally get going.

"Sheesh… I know why I never really came to like you; you're like Mr. Dutiful, huh?" The Houzuki sneered, and Neji was first too taken aback by his bluntness to even react, but before he could do so, Sayuri laughed out loud and therewith drew everyone's attention to her. Once she realized so she pressed a hand over her mouth to silence herself, before she gave Neji an apologetic look, but still couldn't stop grinning.

"I'm sorry." She sucked in her bottom lip, to fight back that entirely inappropriate laughing fit, but it was an impossible think to do, she could still feel these creepy, insane giggles well up from the pit of her stomach like lava and only her last bits of self-control kept them from erupting.

"Err… Sayuri-chan?" Naruto stared at the still snickering girl with a sceptical frown on his face, while Neji looked slightly sulky.

"I'm sorry. No offence, Neji – I do like you." She shook her head and wiped some laughing tears from her eyes, wondering if this was how hysteria felt, or if that was maybe some side-effect of the soldier pills. Maybe she should have checked the date of expiry before taking them. "We should really go now."

"You're not drunk, are you?" The Uzumaki asked hesitantly and exchanged a quick glance with Neji.

"Unh-unh." She shook her head and then gazed to the side as Suigetsu put a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh c'mon, leave the girl be. She just has a good sense of humour." Suigetsu smirked proudly, since it was his joke, or just his statement she was laughing about.

Wow. She has probably never gotten along as well with Suigetsu as she did today, which was kind of suspicious… A common goal or maybe just a shared enemy united. A little harsh to consider Neji as an enemy – no definitely harsh – but it's not like she could help it…

"Hn." Neji nodded and glowered at the violet-haired girl. "If you manage to calm down again, we can set off."

"Good." She pressed her lips together, so she wouldn't involuntarily start getting the giggles again and after nodding at one another, the five of them turned around, preparing to take off.

"Wait!" They came to an abrupt halt and spun around again, seeing a pink-haired kunoichi run straight towards them.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked with a puzzled frown on his face, while Sayuri stared at her team-mate with a shocked expression.

Had they maybe reconsidered their decision and wanted Sakura to go after all? Had they gone through the results of her interrogation now and figured she wouldn't be the right one for this mission? Damn it. If she hadn't had that stupid laughing fit, they would already be gone by now. But they couldn't just force her to stay in the village. She had Naruto and Suigetsu on her side, but then Sakura and Neji were against her and especially the Haruno had a nature that made it hard to deny her anything.

"Tsunade wants you to take Katsuyu-sama with you. She'll inform you about the outcome of tomorrow's meeting and give you all the information we get." Sakura explained, still a little breathless from the running. "Besides, she'll also give you medical aid in case you'll need it…"

"I'll do my best to support you." Katsuyu said in a calm voice and now appeared on Sakura's shoulder. She picked her up carefully and handed her to Neji, who was closest to her.

"Your aid is most appreciated Katsuyu-sama." Neji inclined his head to show his gratitude, before he turned back to Sakura. "Anything else?"

"No." She shook her head and watched how Sayuri heaved a relieved sigh, causing her to close her emerald green eyes, as she could again feel a wave of frustration well up in her.

"Hn." Neji nodded. "Then let's go." He gave the other members of his team a sharp look, before they took off in the cover of the darkness.

…

…

It was already late in the afternoon, when the council meeting, which had started at noon precisely, came to an end. Masses of still agitated seeming people were slowly but surely leaving the large assembly hall, using the time they were still inside this building to re-discuss the very controversial decision, which has just been made, since once they were outside, they were bound to keep quiet and pretend they wouldn't know anything about what has been talked about in the last five hours.

Tsunade still sat in her chair, on the small podium, from where she had tried to make her position clear to the audience, same as the council members, only that their position had been more than just a little different from hers.

She waited until everyone was gone, before she heaved a weary sigh and finally departed the room as well. She still perceived a babble of voices, coming from somewhere in the distance, but it was too quiet for her to understand anything, but it's not like she cared. She had listened to all these people, their opinions, worries, concerns and partly irrational and ridiculous fears for more than enough time. She could pretty well imagine what they were talking about at the moment. The very same things they had also discussed in the last infinitely long seeming and utterly nerve-racking hours.

Good that she had waited long enough, otherwise she'd probably now run into countless people, who'd all want to give her their opinions on the issue personally, actually believing she'd care about that. That she wanted to listen to their attempts at currying favour with her or their criticism of her too inconsiderate viewpoint. No matter how hard she tried to block out all these thoughts, it just wouldn't work.

She had only just gotten over with five hours of absolutely unnerving and unsettling debating and since the opinions on the topic had been almost equally divided, the outcome of the meeting had been a mystery to the very last second. And the five hours of uncertainties hadn't left her cold. She didn't even know why she was supporting his cause so much and why all of this was getting to her to the extent that it did.

Unlike what Danzô said, Sasuke was clearly none of her favourites. She didn't dislike him either, just his manners at times, but it had gotten better. He's made some progress on the social level and he's been more than useful to the village. In spite of his rank, she had even allowed him to go on solo missions or act as a team-leader and up to now he had performed all his orders to her utmost satisfaction. The same was true for Karin as well, for Juugo and Suigetsu maybe not so much, but still they did as they were asked to do, so what could she possibly say against them? And then there was Team 7 of course. Their unshakable trust in him made it hard to feel different about that – in spite of everything that happened in the past.

"Tsunade-sama?"

She perceived a female voice and turned around, seeing Shizune, Shikamaru and Sakura walk towards her.

"Phew… that was a close call, huh?" Shikamaru sighed and scratched the back of his head.

"One of the closest votes I've ever seen." Shizune backed him up and watched how her master nodded grimly. "I really thought it was over as Danzô brought up these old stories again. He really is an exceptional orator."

"But in the end it wasn't enough." Sakura said with a sickly smile on her face, which was soon forced back by another grim look though.

"That doesn't have to mean anything." Tsunade brought her back down to earth, although that wouldn't have been necessary. None of them regarded the close, but for them positive outcome of the meeting as a success. They had only won by four votes, so practically nothing, which is why Danzô would most likely contest the election, once he's had enough time to brainwash some of his contradictors, so this was far from being over. Besides, the vote was one of their slightest concerns.

Against expectation none of the people who had been interrogated the day before had known anything about Sasuke's disappearance, which is what had assured so many people that Sasuke can't have left the village on his own accord. If it hadn't been for what Ibiki and Inoichi found out and also certified, this whole thing would have probably turned out in Danzô's favour, but luckily she had been foresightful enough, to have expected that.

And then there was also the tracking squad she had sent out of course. She had mentioned that a Hyuga and an Aburame – two big names – and then also Naruto – a less official but still big name – were in it, and that they had already left to search them and that had soothed quite a lot of people. Some had even asked what they were doing here then and that she seemed to have everything under control and admittedly it had been really good to hear that – wrong as it might be, because she felt like she was miles and miles away from having everything under control.

However these interjections had outraged Danzô, as far as you can imagine him to be outraged. He had countered with telling them that a single team would hardly be a match for Sasuke alone and that there was reason to believe (although he didn't elaborate these reasons) that he had accomplices, so she had sent the team with these three famous and promising ninja into their certain death.

That kind of killed the at least short-termed optimistic mood and after that, things hadn't looked too good anymore. It had been a permanent to and fro between her and the leader of _root_, although you should think that the actual members of the village's council would represent their opinions themselves, but that hadn't been the case. Danzô was gaining more and more influence in the village, but there was nothing she could do about it, her title as Hokage was pretty useless when it came to that. Until the last minutes of the meeting she had been entirely in the dark about the outcome and even though their apparent success was not to be considered as final and absolute she had at least managed to buy them some time.

"I could really need something to soothe my nerves."

That was the code for 'I need Sake" and luckily the people around her knew her well enough to understand the illocution of her utterance.

"It's still pretty early, but I guess we all need something to _soothe_ our nerves." Shizune murmured and grinned strangely at the blonde woman, who just nodded absent-mindedly and then led the way to her office, in which there was a little cabinet with an emergency stock of Sake, meant for days such as this.

They went up the stairs in silence, the tense kind of silence, like they were heading for a crucial written exam, which would determine about their futures. It became even worse though, as they entered Tsunade's office and found Danzô, Koharu and Homura stand inside of it.

"What are you doing here?" Tsunade exclaimed, not really able to keep a hint of irritation out of her voice, but since that matched the look on her opposites' faces, it probably wasn't that bad.

"I hope you are pleased with yourself, foolish girl." Koharu groused and narrowed her eyes, which resulted in her face looking even more wrinkled than it usually did.

"Watch your mouth!" Shizune reprimanded her in a scandalised tone. "This is no way to talk to a Hokage!"

"Hokage…" Danzô hissed and glowered at the black-haired woman, before his one visible eye switched to Tsunade again and regarded her livid face. "You are the worst Hokage Konoha has ever seen. To put personal relationships over the good of the village…"

"You're not seriously accusing me of being biased, are you?" Tsunade said in a dangerously calm voice and walked to her desk to take a seat, intending to show them that this was still her office and that she was the one who was in control here. "You're so blinded by your own preconceptions that you don't even realize that it's you who is biased."

She felt a swell of satisfaction build up in her, as she saw their expressions darken after her words, so she didn't waste a second to carry on.

"You are the ones who harbour a personal grudge against Sasuke. You are even willing to destroy his life just because of your antipathies. He has suffered enough. He doesn't need you to make his life even harder for him."

Sakura nodded eagerly after her words, whereas the other people looked rather unaffected and clearly not convinced by what she had stated.

"He is about the last person who needs, or more importantly deserves your pity. He alone is responsible for his deeds." Danzô said in a calm and yet edgy tone and looked down at Tsunade, who regretted right now to have taken a seat, because instead of emphasizing that she was in her territory here, she rather seemed or maybe just felt inferior, with those three old persons looming over her. "No one forced him to go to Orochimaru, to become a nuke-nin and to work against the village – he chose his path all by himself."

"He never worked against the village!" Sakura interjected hastily, not bearing to listen to them dragging his name through the mud, but then the three elders turned around, almost simultaneously and gave her a look that nearly made her choke on her breath.

"Sakura is right." Tsunade brought their attention back to her, as she realized their attempts at intimidating her student, for having the audacity to address them. "He has never been a threat to the village. We've gone through all that last year and back then it has been decided that he is not to be blamed for having done anything to harm Konoha-Gakure."

"You decided that all by yourself!" Homura interjected, very well remembering the scene after the failed invasion of Konoha, as she had suddenly and without any accord, declared, that Sasuke and his team would be allowed to return to the Leaf Village.

"His sole focus had lain on Itachi." Tsunade decided to pay no attention to that last remark and just carried on as if nothing had happened. "The only crime you could accuse him of would be leaving the village-"

"-and all the crimes he committed during that time, of course." Koharu finished her sentence, although this isn't how Tsunade had intended it to turn out.

"Lining up with a declared enemy of Konoha is not to be taken lightly. Other people wouldn't have gotten away like that, but he… his name has given him a lot of advantages and all we demand is that he ought to be treated like any other person would and you know exactly what that means." Danzô said in a low, hoarse voice and waited for Tsunade's response, but she took her time for it.

"Is that so?" She raised an eyebrow and gave the three people in front of her a challenging look. "Then why did most of the villagers vote against giving him up?"

"Because you manipulated them!" Homura groused and glared over the rim of his green-rimmed glasses.

"Did I?" The Godaime narrowed her eyes, growing slightly impatient because of their ever-same arguments, which hadn't changed a bit in the last year. "How did I do so?"

"All your talk about his apparent loyalty and then these dubious interrogations-" Koharu started, but was then interrupted as Tsunade slammed a hand on the table and shot to her feet.

"_Dubious_?" She barked, pretty much running out of patience now. "You're not seriously alleging that I forged evidence?"

"As we agreed upon, all decisions on how to proceed should have waited till after the meeting and yet you already took action by inducing these interrogations and sending out that tracking squad." Danzô said in a calm voice, not in the least impressed by Tsunade's sudden outburst of emotions. "But I already anticipated that…"

"What?" Tsunade asked what ran through almost everyone's mind in that second, but Danzô seemed to enjoy the suspense to its fullest and took an awfully long time to finally explain his words.

"You thought you were the only one who sent out a team to search them, didn't you?" His voice was still calm, same as it always was and yet Tsunade clearly heard a mocking tone in it.

"I couldn't have known about the results of this meeting beforehand, so my orders might not correspond to what has been agreed upon… but then it shouldn't matter since your team of Genin and Chunin will surely find him first, won't it?"

"Danzô…" Tsunade's voice was shaking with anger and she couldn't think of anything to say now, which is why she left it at hissing his name, with about as much despise as she could muster and that was a lot.

"Get. Out. Of. Here. Right now." She tried to restrain herself, but if looks could kill there'd be a literal bloodbath in her office now, but unfortunately that scenario remained limited to her imagination.

"How impertinent…" Koharu groused but then turned around to leave. With their heads held high, the three of them departed Tsunade's office without paying any attention to the other people who were in here as well, but it's not like they gave them a proper send-off either.

"Those damn-" Tsunade hissed, once the door fell shut behind them, but then silenced herself by biting into her bottom lip. "We should have anticipated that. It was clear that Danzô wouldn't risk banking on a vote he had no control over."

"But what can we do now?" Sakura asked anxiously, not quite sure if she understood the full extent of what she had just heard.

"Danzô is the leader of _root_, so we have to assume that the team he sent out consists of elite ANBU." Shikamaru suggested and watched how Tsunade nodded, before she started massaging her sleeves, suddenly looking at least ten years older than just a few minutes ago.

"They are probably highly skilled trackers and judging from when they took off, they might have an advantage over our group." Tsunade murmured in a low voice and still kept her eyes closed.

"But our ninja know him, whereas they don't and then there's even Suigetsu who knows some of his old hideouts." Sakura defended their team, not even wanting to imagine what would happen if Danzô's men found them first.

"True." Shikamaru sighed and leaned back against the bookshelf behind him, while crossing his arms in front of his chest. "But still it's only of help in case Sasuke did leave on his own accord… In case Danzô's team left before them, they might have a decisive advantage because of their timing and in case they left after them, they'd just have to track them and let Neji's team do the work for them."

"We'll have to warn them." Tsunade exhaled wearily and shook her head, before she turned her attention to Shizune. "Katsuyu-sama?"

The small white-blue slug slithered forth from behind Shizune's neck and did a motion, which reminded a little of a curtsey.

"Tsunade-sama." She said in her high, yet calm and pleasant voice and waited for her instructions.

"I take it you heard everything. Inform Neji about Danzô's team and tell them to be careful that no one follows them. In case they should encounter them, they are to send them back by order of the Hokage." Tsunade finished her instructions, but still looked rather unhappy about this whole situation.

"You really think they would listen to them?" Shizune enquired hesitantly, already knowing the answer, before she had asked the question.

"No. But if they openly disregard my orders, they have an excuse to fight them."

"F-fight them?" Sakura stammered, her emerald eyes wide with shock. "But they are ANBU."

"Hmm." Tsunade nodded grimly and scrunched her nose. "But by mentioning that they are acting on my orders, which presupposes that I know of them, should give them immunity and then they still have Katsuyu with them, so we'd know about it even before they would have a chance to take any actions. If they did however, it wouldn't reflect well on Danzô and since they are most likely aware of that, they'll hopefully leave them alone."

"Hopefully… but there are enough ways around that." Shikamaru murmured in a toneless voice and stared at the beige ceiling.

"I'm well aware of that." Tsunade sighed and rested a hand in her neck. "But in that case we'll just have to put our trust in them."

…

…

It was the third day of their journey now, which meant that Sasuke and his team were missing since ten days already. They had done their best not to have any expectations about this whole thing and yet they would have never thought to not find a thing in three entire days. That wasn't entirely true though, Shino's insects did pick up a trace, still a good distance away from the border of the River Country. However that trace wasn't exactly much of a help, since it had literally led to nowhere, which was more than just confusing. They had managed to follow their trace from Konoha-Gakure to a spot in the woods, still pretty much in the middle of the Fire Country and then it was suddenly gone. They had even contemplated if they had walked the same path backwards, but in that case their tracks would have been stronger, the closer they had been to the village and they would have come across some sort of junction since they had clearly not targeted Konoha, but that had not been the case. Like they had dropped off the face of the earth.

That had been day one.

In the last two days they had just scoured the whole area at a venture, but up to now without any success. They didn't really think they were in the River Country, since in that case the Daimyô would have probably found them already and sent news to Konoha. Still Shino had sent his insects into all directions, just to be on the safe side and apart from that, they took the time to pass through every single village, even the tiniest hamlet they came across and ask the people if they had seen them. Something they usually wouldn't do, but they were desperate, so they had to rely on even the most dubious measures.

When they were still on the move, they would have to stock up on their provisions from time to time and maybe even stay somewhere over night, so there was at least a chance that someone had seen them. They weren't exactly inconspicuous beings. Karin's red hair was already visible from a distance, from what they had seen on the pictures, their team-leader, Saginta, had some kind of paint on his face and then there was Sasuke of course, who usually caught the eyes of the female gender. The other Jounin looked pretty normal, but the three of them should be noticeable enough. Or maybe not. After all they had been pretty unsuccessful up to now and taking into consideration that they didn't have any time and were also competing with Danzô's team, that was anything but good.

It would have probably been helpful to run into Danzô's team, although they were rather anxious about an encounter, but still that would take a little of that sense of paranoia away. They were permanently looking over their shoulders, expecting the enemy whenever they only heard the rustling of leaves, or when they witnessed a larger swarm of birds take off for no apparent reason. It had been quite a shock as Katsuyu had told them about that, as if things hadn't been complicated enough already. It was hard enough to track them down without any starting point, actually that would demand their full attention, but now they also had to make sure that they were neither followed nor outpaced.

It was afternoon already, when they came across the first village that day, situated at the border of the Earth Country, so nowhere near the Land of Rivers any longer. They had laid back a remarkable distance in that short time, not least because of the military ration pills, Sayuri had taken with her. Each of them had taken one, still on the first day and since then they had never rested longer than three hours at a stretch and not exactly frequently, but at the beginning that hadn't bothered them, but by now the effects of the pills were wearing off and slowly but surely exhaustion was making its arrival.

"We'll take a break here." Neji stopped them, as they were only a couple of metres away from the first houses of the small village.

"Hm." His team nodded grimly, knowing that '_take a break'_ was the code for: Shino and I will look for traces and you go and ask the villagers if they have seen them and restock on food. Having Katsuyu with them was clearly an advantage. The white and blue slug could split into even tinier replicates, which they could use to communicate with each other whenever they scattered. Better than any headphones.

"We'll meet again here, in one hour precisely."

"One hour? You're such a slave driver!" Suigetsu grimaced and took a sip of his drinking bottle, exhaustion clearly written on his face. "We didn't take a '_real'_ break in ten hours and I don't know how it's with you, but I usually need some sleep from time to time."

"We'll take a '_real'_ break with nightfall. You'll have to hold on till then." Neji said relentlessly, not in the least impressed or moved by the overall exhausted faces, looking at him.

"Let's go." He nodded towards Shino and a second later they vanished in the woods surrounding the small village.

"Phew… that's still four more hours…" Suigetsu pulled a wry face, before he turned around to his remaining two team-mates. "Say, can I have another one of those pills?"

"Better not." Sayuri murmured. "You're not supposed to take them in a too short interval."

"You just give it to me and I'll worry about the rest." Suigetsu grinned at his only female team-mate and reached a hand out to her, but as she didn't fill it with the desired item, he dropped it again. "Who put you in charge of them anyway?"

"Well… I'm the medic-nin, so I'm supposed to make sure you're all doing alright and they're mine, so… isn't that enough?" The violet-haired girl shrugged, trying to make the best of the little time they were only standing around, to recover from the harsh journey. Actually she shared Suigetsu's opinion on taking a slightly longer break, she was so tired that she could probably fall asleep on her feet, but she was determined not to let it show. They had made it painfully clear that she was the weakest person in the team and although she knew that herself, that didn't mean she'd have to give them the confirmation.

"Fine then. This is a pretty small village. There won't be any need for all three of us to run through it and ask questions, so how about you two do that, while I'll take a nap over here." He nodded towards a spot of sunlit grass, with a yearning look in his clear violet eyes.

"You're such a lazy bum!" Naruto snapped in a high-pitched voice. "We're all tired but do you hear any of us complain?"

"Leave it, Naruto." Sayuri sighed in a feeble voice and ran a hand through her long hair, she had pulled back in a messy ponytail. Her tiredness wasn't restricted to a lack of sleep, but she was also tired of having to listen to Suigetsu's complaining and Naruto's consequent, although justified bickering.

"It really is a small village, there are hardly twenty houses around. I can handle that by myself. You both take a break." She suggested, since otherwise Naruto would start grousing about this being unfair and so on and if she did that with him or by herself didn't really make a difference.

"Oh no! I don't need to! It's just…" He glared at Suigetsu with a sulky face. "Pfft – whatever… Let's go." He turned his back on the Houzuki and entered the village, slowly followed by Sayuri, who was busy with rummaging through her backpack in search for the tiny folder in which she had the pictures of the four missing people.

"Hey! You over there." Naruto pointed at a small group of people standing on the market place and at once ran towards them. "Excuse us for a second. Have you seen any of these people by any chance?" He nodded at the violet-haired girl, who had just appeared next to him and now opened the folder and slowly flipped through the different pictures so they could all have a look at them.

"No. Never seen 'em." The first one said and made room for someone else. As it seemed their little group or merely the fact that there were strangers around, attracted a lot of attention and they were soon surrounded by at least fifteen people, all of them volunteering their help, but in the end they remained disappointed.

"What did they do?" An old man asked in a slightly accented voice and this question seemed to be of interest to everyone around and some of those who were just about to leave reconsidered that again and waited after all.

"They're just… missing." Sayuri murmured in a hollow voice and looked down at the picture of Sasuke, which just happened to be open. "That's all."

Naruto looked at his team-mate with a commiserative expression and felt like hugging her, but then turned his attention to an old woman, who was just squeezing her way into the front row.

"Can you turn back to that girl again?"

It took Sayuri some effort to tear her eyes away from Sasuke's face and do as she was told, especially since she didn't particularly like looking at Karin's picture, but this was about the first lead or at least prospect of a lead in the last days, so this sure wasn't the time to come up with any personal stuff.

"There." She turned the page to Karin's picture and stared with a blank expression at the for her taste far too pretty woman with the cold red eyes.

"I've seen that one." The old woman stated in an almost casual manner and at once caused the two shinobi in front of her to throw their heads up in surprise and stare at her with widened eyes. "I sold her some herbs."

"Really? Are you sure it was really her? When? And where did she go to?" Naruto nearly burst with questions and tried to verbalize them all simultaneously, which obviously overcharged the old woman.

"Easy now, boy." She tried to calm him and motioned him to take a deep breath. "She passed me in the woods and there were some other guys with her…"

"The ones on the picture?" Naruto asked impatiently, dearly wishing she'd stop keeping them on tenterhooks already.

"Let me see them again."

Sayuri at once handed her the folder and left her to search through it alone, which was probably a bad thing, since she was not only a slow speaker, but apparently slow in just about everything she did.

"So?" Naruto pressed on, feeling like the suspense was about to tear him to pieces.

"No… just the girl."

"But when was she here and where did she go to?" Naruto repeated again, pressing out the words in an emphatically slow manner.

"She didn't tell me where she went to, but well… when was she here…?" The old woman stared into the air, as if the memories were hidden somewhere between the fleecy clouds. "That must have been one or two… no… or were it three?"

"Three what? Minutes, hours, days?" The blonde snapped, finally having reached the end of his patience.

"Don't you scream at me, brat. Screaming won't get you anywhere in life." She lectured him, as if she wasn't a random old woman but his very own grandmother. "It was two months I think… or was it three after all…?"

"_Months_?" Sayuri and Naruto repeated simultaneously, apparently having been excited for nothing. She must have been here on a different mission then, that's why she had been here with other people. And so they were back to having no clues at all.

"Thanks for your help." Sayuri bowed her head lightly and nudged Naruto in his rips, as she heard him mumble something like. '_it was no help at all_…'

The small crowd around them had dispersed by now and considering how many people there had been, they figured they had more or less asked the whole village, so they were done here now.

"Still thirty-five minutes left. What do we do now?" Sayuri asked and side-glanced at Naruto, who was heading straight out of the village again.

"That's still plenty of time. We'll do it like him and take a nap." He nodded towards Suigetsu, who had just appeared in their field of vision and was as it seemed sound asleep.

"I don't think I can fall asleep that quickly…" Sayuri murmured and kept her eyes fixed on the backside of the Houzuki as well, who lay curled up in the warm grass, looking like he was having the sleep of his life.

"Oh, c'mon. You look like you can barely stand upright. You'll be asleep the second you only close your eyes." Naruto grinned and sat down in the grass, a good distance away from the white-haired man.

"Really? And what about you Mr. I-end-my-every-sentence-with-a-yawn, huh?" Sayuri countered and sunk down to her knees right beside the blonde.

"I'm dead tired." Naruto sighed and slumped down, before he crossed his arms under his head and stared into the sky. "That's why I'm going to sleep now, so I'll be all the more efficient later."

"Learned a new word?" Sayuri grinned cheekily and watched Naruto turn his head to her at once.

"Wha-! No!" He groused in a high-pitched tone. "I knew that before! Anyway…" He rolled his eyes and then gave Sayuri a piercing look. "You probably feel like you had to act tough and all, but… Just don't overdo it, okay?"

"Shut up over there! Some people are trying to sleep here!" Suigetsu slurred in a drowsy voice and raised an arm over his head, apparently trying to cover his ears.

Instead of objecting, as he would have usually done, Naruto did as he was told and rolled on his back again, which told Sayuri that he had to be really tired, but it's not like it was different with her. Although she didn't like to admit it, Naruto had been absolutely right; she really was barely able to stand on her feet, but since everyone was taking a break now, there should be nothing wrong when she did so, too.

She cautiously lay down as well, and she doubted that there has ever been a bed that was as comfortable as the grass here and hard as it was too imagine, now that she was lying, she only just felt the full extent of her tiredness. It was like being anaesthetized. If she'd now start counting to ten, she probably wouldn't get past three.

"It's just like back then, isn't it?" Naruto murmured in a quiet voice and caused Sayuri to turn her head into his direction, at least as much as she was able to.

"Huh?"

"We don't know where he is, what he does, how he is and yet we're chasing him and again time is running out. If we don't hurry Danzô might get impatient and adopt drastic measures to get his will…"

"Hm…" She agreed meekly, but if he said something after that or not, remained a mystery to her, because she fell asleep in that very second.

…

…

'…_like it… …better leave… … break… …'_

Those few scraps of conversation, slowly managed to wake her up and yet she just felt more exhausted than she had before she had fallen asleep, which is why she needed quite some time to get re-used to her apparent wakeful state.

'… _explain… way… … let's go…'_

Her lids fluttered lightly and after a couple of seconds she managed to open them a little and was at once blinded by the bright light of the low standing sun, so she at once squeezed them shut again. Somehow she felt awkward. She couldn't even tell why, she just doubted that she was still lying and couldn't recall having fallen asleep in that weird position in which her body was bent now.

"What's going on?" She slurred, since her mouth was too lazy still to open up completely.

"Look who's awake, sleeping beauty finally decided to grace us with her presence." She perceived Suigetsu's voice and in spite of her tiredness, she could clearly hear the mocking tone in it and could imagine the matching sneer on his face.

"Don't mind him." Naruto soothed her and now she finally managed to open her eyes completely and saw that she was apparently in an upright position.

"Woah, Naruto – let me down." She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed herself backwards, to have some distance to the Uzumaki, who had apparently decided to take her piggyback while she was sleeping.

"It's okay – you're about as heavy as my backpack, so-"

"Naruto!" She pinched him lightly and now caused him to sigh wearily, before he crouched down a little and finally let go of her.

"Told you she wouldn't like it." Neji shrugged and caused the Uzumaki to grimace.

"Why didn't you just wake me?" Sayuri asked in a high-pitched tone and looked around hastily, trying to figure out where she was and how late it was and all, but to her relief they were still in front of the village, so she can't have slept too long and more importantly he can't have carried her too far.

"Well I tried, but you wouldn't wake up." He countered.

"Then why didn't you try harder?"

"I've been shaking you for minutes – what else could I do?" He crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave her a challenging look, while Sayuri only regarded him with widened eyes.

"R-really?" She stuttered uneasily and could feel the heat rush into her face. They have all been tired, but of course she had to be the one who directly fell into a coma…

"No." Neji sighed and at once drew Sayuri's attention to him. "He didn't even try. Guess he was just keen on carrying you."

"What?" She shrieked and turned back to the Uzumaki, who was glaring at the traitorous Hyuga, but then realized that he had far bigger problems at hand.

"Uhm… well…" He waved his arms soothingly and wore an artificial grin on his face. "You looked so tired and… I thought… err…"

"So what? We are all tired and did you propose to carry one of the others?" She raised an eyebrow and pressed her lips into a thin line, as she waited for him to answer, although she very well knew what he would say.

"Eh… no." He hung his head, waiting for the rest of her sermon.

"See? So what led you to carrying me?"

"Oh c'mon." Suigetsu interrupted her. "I'd jump for joy if someone would carry me, so stop grumbling."

"Tze." She bit into her bottom lip and turned away from them, not knowing what to say to that. He was right, she had been inappropriately bitchy, but this was just unfair. Just because she was the only girl in the team didn't mean she wanted any special treatment – except for when it came to hygienic stuff maybe, but apart from that she wanted to be treated as an equal member of the team. It was just frustrating to think that she was struggling so hard to keep up with them for nothing…

"Here." Neji placed a hand on her back, causing her to turn around to him, before he handed her her backpack.

"Thanks." She mumbled, still a bit embarrassed about the previous scene, but Neji only nodded at her and then turned to the others. "Let's go then, we'll explain everything on our way."

"_Explain_?" Sayuri gave him a startled look, needing some time to realize that they apparently found something.

"Mmm-hmm." He nodded. "Let's go."

He jumped into the first tree at once, directly followed by Shino and Suigetsu and after exchanging a quick glance, which contained a mutual apology, Sayuri and Naruto followed after them as well.

"So what did you find?" Suigetsu asked once they were all in earshot.

"Shino." Neji nodded towards his team-mate, who then adjusted his sunglasses, he was wearing regardless of the time of day.

"My insects found something." He stated in a calm voice, but didn't go into any details.

"Really?" Naruto asked, but in spite of a nod, the Aburame wouldn't condescend to a clearer reply. "But what?"

"Other insects."

"Are you kidding?" Naruto groused, feeling slightly dumbfounded. "What's so special about that? We're in a wood. It has to be teeming with bugs."

"Hmpf." Shino snorted, not particularly fond of the word _bugs_, but still he decided to enlighten the blonde. "The insects they found are endemic to the Fire Country. They are used by my clan from time to time, but not very frequently because their species shows a long reproductive period."

"Fine, you found some lazy beetles, but what does that help us now?" Suigetsu asked with a frown on his face, which perfectly mirrored the one on Naruto's face.

"Isn't that obvious?" Shino asked, still as cool as a cucumber, whereas the rest of his team grew slightly impatient by now.

"To someone who isn't into _bugology_ – no." Naruto rolled his eyes and heard Suigetsu emit a light laugh.

"It's entomology." Shino corrected him, slightly offended, which is probably why he didn't carry on.

"So?"

"…"

"Hey - You know what? In Myôbokuzan they eat bugs." Naruto stuck out his tongue and grimaced to express how disgusting he found that, before he looked at the Aburame again, hoping he might have lightened his mood a bit with his little joke, but it somehow seemed to have had the opposite effect.

"…"

"…ehem… Shino…?"

"…"

"Those insects live only in a certain area in the Fire Country." Neji took over after the Aburame didn't say anything in nearly a minute. "So they shouldn't be here at all."

"You mean someone brought them here?" Sayuri asked and glanced at Neji who was right beside her.

"Not deliberately. They might have crawled into their clothes or backpacks… we can't tell for sure."

"But who says that they came here with them? What if it had been another team from the Fire Country? We know that Karin has been here a couple of months ago, so…" Sayuri interjected, a bit sceptical about this whole thing.

"Those insects have a very narrow ecological niche." Shino took over again. "There is only one area that offers the living conditions they need in order to survive and that is close to the Valley of the End. So far from home their lifespan won't exceed fourteen days."

"Just two weeks?" Naruto looked slightly surprised, but was then hit by a sudden idea. "But hey, they left about ten days ago, so that would still fit into that span, right?"

"Yes and from how weak they look they must be approaching their end." Shino gazed down at his hand, where he had two of the tiny black insects he had found before.

"So they've been here? Definitely?" Suigetsu raised an eyebrow and stared at the back of Shino's head, until he saw him nod, which caused a grimace to appear on his face.

"Phew… I guess that means sleeping will have to wait again, huh?"

"Hn." Neji nodded and although the prospect of yet more hours of running without any breaks was rather sobering, the fact that they now had a reliable trace, kept them all from complaining.

…

…

"Lies."

This word finally broke the profound silence, which had descended on the room like a shroud of delusion and secrecy. Insight was vanquishing the last desperate remnants of denial that were still clinging to a reality that was in the process of being killed. All the rules have been repealed, certainty was suspended and everything he never even considered to believe and still refused to believe might very well be true, after all.

"You're lying." The dark-haired man shook his head and stared at the polished metal surface of the table, the only thing which separated him from the man who claimed to be in possession of the truth. The man who had ripped him out of his old life and introduced him to this new bizarre world, where old truths were dismantled as lies, where his former conceptions of reality were belittled and marginalized as nothing but some pretty mirages, a comforting illusion spun by his loving elder brother.

_Loving_? The man who had demanded him to hate him…? The very man who had turned his childhood into a living nightmare? Where was the love in all that?

The multitude of preposterous input was simply too much. His understanding of the world he lives in; eighteen years worth of experience and knowledge and although he's had some time to prepare for it, the idea that his life was nothing but a lie, still managed to shake him to his foundations and his head was about to split in halves, because of his inner discord.

Old truths vs. new truths.

The new picture of his hated older brother as a loving person.

Itachi:

The man who loved peace – the man who joined Akatsuki.

The man who loved the village – the man who abandoned the village.

The man who loved his family – the man who killed his entire clan.

The man who loved his friends – the man who sacrificed his comrades to gain new strength.

The man who loved his brother more than anything – the man who didn't regard him as worthy to be killed. The man who changed his mind and decided to kill him after all. The man who used his every technique in the attempt of killing him. The man who tried to take his eyes. And that should have been a lie?

He had too much evidence at first hand and this man was seriously trying to make him belief that these eyes of his, the eyes that have been praised as even keener than Itachi's have been unable to see through the illusion his older brother had cast on him?

Impossible. How could something he had seen with his very own eyes not correspond to the truth?

He regretted having come here. Just what had gotten into him? He had thrown away his whole life out of mere curiosity. Curiosity about Uchiha Madara, the man who shared the same eyes, the same blood as him. Curiosity about what he had to say, all the things this stranger knew about his brother, his family, his past, even his future. He had given up everything, just to listen to this man feeding him with lies that made his past achievements, every single action he had ever taken in his life seem meaningless. He was pushed into a corner of failure and that man seriously believed he would put up with that?

"Give me proof, or else…" His coal black eyes hardened, more threatening than any word he could ever utter.

"Did you take a look at the tablet?" Madara, his oldest and only ancestor enquired in a calm voice, not in the least intimidated by the implicit threat in his opposite's eyes.

"I did. But it only explains the connection between the Uchiha and the Senju-clan. What has that to do with Itachi?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes, his vigilant pupils constantly following even the tiniest movement of the masked man, he still considered as an enemy rather than an ally.

"The tension between the Uchiha-clan and everyone who supported the Senju, led to revolts within the clan-"

"-You said that already." Sasuke interrupted him brusquely. "Everyone could make up such a story, but that does not verify anything of what happened. For all I know you might be nothing but a liar. You said yourself you were weakened – nothing but a shell of your former self – which would explain why you need me to do the dirty work for you." He waited a couple of seconds, to let the words have their effect, before he added: "It's not enough."

He was pleased with himself, with how he managed to not let his inner turmoil reach the outside, and there really was a hullabaloo going on inside him. He's had years of training when it came to suppressing his emotions and yet neither Orochimaru, nor he himself had ever prepared him for anything such as this. Now he knew why Madara hadn't told him everything right away, but had fed him the truth bit by bit. If he had let all of this loose on him in one go, he probably wouldn't have believed him a word – not that it was different now…

"That might indeed be the case. There is no point in denying that your strength would be of use to me." Madara explained in a musing tone and didn't fail to notice how Sasuke's brow twitched slightly at this indirect confession. "But just because I need you, doesn't mean I did not tell the truth. Still I do understand that, especially in your current state, the words of a stranger are not able to get through to you. Fortunately, you don't need to rely on my words to figure out what is true or false – the key lies in your memories."

The masked Akatsuki got up from his chair and walked around the table, all the time keeping one of his gloved hands on its cold surface. He came to a stop as he was barely a meter away from the young Uchiha, but that one didn't flinch back or showed any sign of discomfort, but stared through the small hole into the one visible eye of his opposite, which reminded so very much of his own and yet did not.

"Think back. Remember Itachi, your own brother, and tell me if you see him as a cold-blooded murderer or not rather as a tortured soul. Remember the night Itachi decided to give his life for the sake of the village, try to remember his face. Your memories contain enough evidence that'll confirm my story." The hand which had up to then rested on the table moved to Sasuke's shoulder briefly, but he didn't show any reaction to that, since he was too lost in thoughts about the night he had up to now tried to banish from his mind, just as Madara had planned, so he walked out of the room, to leave Sasuke to arrange his thoughts, now that he was sure that he had finally gotten through to him.

Agitated by the draught of the closing door, the lonely light bulb, hanging right above the table, swayed to and fro, inviting the shadows to a ghostly dance. A heavily pregnant silence took over the dark, spacious room, which was filled with nothing but a table, some chairs and a deluge of abstruse thoughts, raining down from low, sulphuric clouds, washing his mind free of everything he's chosen to believe so far.

"What do you think of him?" Karin emerged out of the shadows, a speck of colour in this dim and drab room. She's been there all the time, had listened to everything that maniac had let loose and same as Sasuke apparently, she had quite some doubts about his story.

No response. He sat with his back turned to her, so she walked into the middle of the room and came to a stop at the edge of the table, so she could look into Sasuke's face. His eyes were as blank as the table top they were staring at and yet he looked upset. There were even beads of sweat on his forehead and she doubted that he even noticed that she had talked to him, that she was there at all. A frown appeared on her face and she crossed her arms in front of her chest, resisting the urge to put a hand under his chin to push his face up, so he would look at her.

"Hey?"

"Hm." He shrugged in a late response, and now his obsidian eyes flickered into life and found her crimson red ones for a moment, that simple gesture taking her breath away. It was only a brief second, only as long as the interval between two heartbeats, but in that moment it felt like her soul had made a connection to him. It felt like she had caught a glimpse of his mind. Like he had allowed her to see into his head. She could see his turmoil, could see the war raging behind his eyes, could grasp the extent of his hurt, feel his pain as if it was her own. And he was the one who allowed her access to all this.

Breathing, Karin.

His gaze returned to the table again, his eyes like stones at the shore, washed over and over with hurt and loss – all the cruelties life had thrown at him.

She took a long, deep breath, trying to make up for the ones she had skipped as she had lost herself in his eyes.

"Eh… let me see your wounds." She stammered awkwardly, her voice still shakier than she would have liked.

"Hn." He gave a meaningless sound, which implied that he had at least heard her, but didn't move an inch or did anything else that might make it easier for her to examine him.

"Well?" She asked impatiently, before a devious look crossed her face. "Shirt off."

Without a second of hesitation, he did as he was told and pulled his shirt over his head and Karin, a little startled by his uncommented obedience, wondered if he was maybe so lost in thoughts that he would do whatever she asked of him… it was definitely worth a try…

He put his grey shirt on the table and leaned back again, as motionless and rigid as a sculpture made of white marble. Her red eyes examined him closely, taking in his solid torso, his well-defined abs, his strong arms, his broad shoulders and then his battered skin, which was at the moment covered with more cuts and bruises than she could count. He had taken quite a beating, but it's not like she was doing so very much better – although she hasn't even been the fighting one, she had gotten a good share of Killer Bee's attacks.

There was already a bandage going across one half of his chest and his shoulder, the places the Jinchuuriki's swords had pierced through. The wound on his shoulder had bled through the bandage already, so she slowly bent closer to him and took it off.

"Geez… the wound is infected. Didn't that idiot think of cleaning it before taping it shut?" She groused, but Sasuke didn't reply, so she didn't even bother to inform him that she would now leave to get some dressing material and just did it.

Five minutes later she was back again and Sasuke still sat the same way he had sat before. Not that it would surprise her. She put the medical kit on the table and took out a bottle of antiseptic and some gauze.

"This is gonna hurt now." She warned him, but again no reaction, so she just poured a generous amount of the disinfectant onto the gauze and then dabbed it onto his wound. His muscles twitched lightly but his face remained entirely blank, as if he didn't feel the stinging of the alcohol in his open wound.

Once she was done with her first aid, she stepped behind him and put on a new bandage. Her face was only a hand's breadth away from his neck and with every breath she inhaled his scent. A mixture of blood, sweat and something else she couldn't describe but clearly identified as his, something special that made her head spin with hunger and a craving to be close to him, to touch him, to kiss him and all other sorts of things.

A wistful sigh escaped her full lips, which were so very close to his neck. Sweet temptation.

"He had tears in his eyes." Sasuke finally broke his long-lived silence and caused Karin to flinch back in surprise.

"I thought I only imagined it. After all it didn't make sense back then…"

"So you believe him?" Karin enquired, not quite sure if it was a good or a bad thing. No… it was most likely a bad thing.

"Partly."

"But you will follow him."

"It would seem so."

_It would seem so._ Not quite a no, but not really a yes either. He didn't know it himself and yet didn't want to admit that. He was still confused, uncertain, weak and he was sharing that with her. He was talking to her, showing her something of what was going on inside him, sharing a bit of his burden with her. She'd be a fool if she wouldn't seize this chance.

She reached her arms around him and ran her hands over the new bandage which now covered his torso, to smooth it.

"Done." She murmured into his ear, but didn't lower her arms again. "I'll stay with you. Regardless of your decision." With closed eyes, she rested her chin on his unharmed shoulder and brushed her nose along his neck, taking in his manly scent.

"Hmpf." Sasuke snorted, sounding almost amused. "It's not like you had a choice."

"I'm not doing this because I have to." She opened her eyes again, as Sasuke reached for her hands to lead them away from his chest. "I'm here because I want to be here."

He stopped short in his movement and cocked his head to the side, so he could get a glimpse of Karin's face.

"Why? What's in it for you?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and observed with a sceptical expression how the redhead started giggling quietly.

"Well… You." She placed a kiss in the crook of his neck, but Sasuke seemed entirely frozen, so she took her hands out of his and cautiously wrapped her arms around his neck, careful not to touch any sore spot, which was anything but easy.

"I need you and you need me." She purred into his ear and used the time of his apparent paralysis to cover his neck with more and more kisses, trying to savour his taste for rainy days. "Even more than you think you do…"

"I need you for your abilities as a sensor and a healer." Sasuke said in a cold voice, not seeming in the least impressed by her obvious advances, but he didn't do anything about it either, which she considered as a personal victory.

"Yes. You do." She agreed. "But there's more. You need to think of your clan. You're the only one who can ensure that the name of Uchiha will not die out – apart from Madara but he's too old." She shrugged dismissively and straightened herself, before she walked around the dark-haired man and took a seat on the table right in front of him, so she could look into his face. "How are you planning to revive your clan? You can't do so by yourself and you certainly can't go back to that… to _her_, now that you're with Akatsuki."

A thoughtful expression appeared on his face, so Karin gave him some time to think before she took one of his hands into hers and rested them in her lap. "I've always been there for you. See? I'm here and look where she is… I knew this thing with her had only been temporary… I knew that we'd end up together. I will follow you wherever you go, stick to you to the bitter end, because… I love you."

"…_Love_?" He repeated the word and stared with a vacant expression at her knees. "Love is only a feeling, it's ephemeral, which makes it an unreliable thing. It's a strong emotion, but once it expires there is only pain…" He said in a quiet, musing tone, as if he was talking to himself and not to her. "One day you love… the next day you hate… You couldn't have given a worse reason for following me." His coal black eyes became focused again and found Karin's stunned ones in the semi-darkness.

"… Do you love _her_…?" Karin asked in a quavering voice, not so sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"… The ones I love lost their lives because of the administration of the Leaf Village." Sasuke murmured eventually and in spite of the meaning of his words, Karin couldn't help but to feel glad about it. "I don't love you Karin, so what will you do?"

Ouch. She knew that he didn't love her… yet… but hearing it that bluntly was still tough. He's had no time to learn to love her yet, but she'd show him how… It wouldn't be like that first time. Back then they were both inexperienced and tense. It had not only been her but also his first time and he had only seen things from the practical side. For him it had only been about an heir, which hadn't quite worked out… He had barely touched her, hadn't allowed her to touch him either and he hadn't kissed her a single time, had hardly ever looked into her face and it had made her feel unwanted and hurt at first, but then it had turned into something special after all and she had felt some kind of invisible bond between them. The next time would be different. It would be special all the way and they would revive the connection they had made back then.

"I'm well aware of what I'm letting myself in for." She said in a steady voice. "I'll stick to my words."

She had a hard time to keep a telling grin from appearing on her face, so she pushed herself off the table and slid cautiously onto his lap, bringing her face so close to his that he wouldn't be able to read her expression.

After she had chased after him for so many years and had tried so many different things, this seemed almost too easy to be true, but she sure wouldn't complain about it. There was still some sort of sceptical expression on his face, and she was sure that he still had doubts about it, which is why she would have to take the initiative, to make him forget about all this.

She raked a hand through his messy bangs, something she wanted to do ever since. She liked his new hairstyle; it made him seem wilder and gave him some kind of heck-care look. She brought her hands to his face and leaned in to kiss him. His lips were hard and firm and he didn't respond to her kiss, but didn't push her away either. Just like the statue he resembled and still she moved on, unwilling to accept defeat. After all she was about as far as she had ever gotten. She was here with him, could feel his skin, tasted his lips and a one-sided kiss was still better than no kiss at all.

Then he came to life again. One of his hands found its way into her hair and yanked her head back roughly, but he moved along with her, so his lips never left hers. His mouth pressed hard against hers, pushing her even farther backwards, until her back collided with the edge of the table. She let out a muffled whimper in surprise, but then his tongue darted into her mouth and there was only bliss.

Funny to think that although she was no virgin anymore, this was still her first kiss and again Sasuke had been the one to take it and what a kiss it was… He was rough and passionate, his lips still hard and firm, but also hungry and demanding. Hungry for her.

His mouth left hers, wandering down her neck, while his hands slid under her thighs and lifted her on the table. She wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, no longer worrying about hurting him and just pressed herself against him, kissing the top of his hair, while he pulled down the zipper of her anorak.

A not exactly quiet moan escaped her lips and desire was pulsing through every single fibre in her body, but then she felt it. Suddenly the cloud which had shrouded her mind dissolved and she could clearly sense the presence of a group of shinobi, still far away, but definitely approaching them. There was one with a peculiar chakra… no… it was merely a mixture of his chakra and that of animals, numerous animals. He was most likely a tracker, so they had to know they were here, so what should she do now? This was what she had been waiting for for years and she didn't want anyone to spoil this special moment.

The decision was taken from her, as Sasuke finally took off her jacket and then moved on to the clasp of her bra. As it seemed he was quite impatient, so this wouldn't last too long, and they were still a good distance away, so there should be nothing wrong with waiting till afterwards…

…

…


	26. Encounter

**26.**** Encounter**

Night was keeping the landscape hidden, an intangible curtain, covering the ground, the bushes, the trees, even all specks of light you might expect to see in the wide celestial vault.

It was something around four in the morning, they were in the middle of nowhere, it was damn cold and windy, but they were too exhausted to care about that. They had abandoned their new plan and gone back to the original one, so they had set up a camp for the night after all. Everything else would have been irresponsible. Tiredness had encroached upon their brains, affected their perception, slowed their reaction and dampened their spirits, so although they finally found a lead, they would have probably been in no condition to follow it. But even if that hadn't been the case, it would have done them no good to keep on hunting for their missing comrades at the risk of actually finding them.

They had no idea what would expect them, once they did. They could get involved in fights; fights against an unknown enemy, a group of definitely strong and most likely hostile shinobi or maybe against some very well-known persons after all… It was an S-rank mission, so danger was inevitable, therefore they couldn't afford running around with a mind that could think of nothing but shutting down and limbs that yearned for a warm bed or a hot bath, maybe a massage even, but definitely no fighting or more precisely no kind of physical effort whatsoever.

So, after having been awake for longer than you should think possible and definitely longer than was healthy, which they at length began to notice, they decided to take a break. Realized that they badly needed a break from their drug-induced state of prolonged wakefulness, so they had settled on six hours of recreation time, although six days would have seemed far more appropriate. It weren't even six full hours, because of the night watches they did in an alternate order.

Shino had started. He had done the first hour alone and then Neji had joined him. After Shino's two hours had been over, Sayuri had relieved him and had spent one hour together with Neji and now Naruto had taken his place.

The two of them were sitting around a bonfire the size of a tea-candle, in the centre of the circle of sleeping bags, which were filled with three soundly sleeping men. The fire wasn't there to warm them, although considering the temperatures it wouldn't have been a bad idea, but their intention of lighting a fire, which was actually quite a risky thing to do, was that it made it a little easier to stay awake, when you could focus your eyes on something that was moving and especially wasn't black.

Still with the degree of exhaustion, it seemed to make little to no difference, but they were both awake after all, so it must have served its purpose… Nevertheless the yearning for sleep and more importantly the lack of sleep was clearly visible in their features. You could see it in their barely open eyes, the dark rings underneath them, their posture, everything. They all looked and felt miserable, but once they had made it through this night, things called for a new round of food pills and then they'd feel great and invigorated again. They could have taken them already, but then they wouldn't have been able to fall asleep now and regardless of how effective and nourishing these military ration pills might be, the human body still needed sleep, so they'd have to wait.

Naruto was sitting cross-legged on the cold ground, his blue eyes firmly fixed on the tiny, flickering flame, the dancing shadows bringing some motion into his face. Sayuri sat right next to him, with her sleeping-back tightly wrapped around her shoulders for two reasons, which were closely linked to each other. First she was freezing like mad, second she was shivering with cold and most likely exhaustion and she didn't want Naruto to see that.

She still cursed herself for having volunteered to take one of these middle shifts, which no one else had wanted to do. She's had about two hours of sleep already, which had left her feeling even worse than before and now she could look forward to two further ones, which still wouldn't do to make her feel any less tired. As she already knew she was the weakest part of the team, so she probably needed the rest far more than them, but her masochistic urge to prove herself to them had made her come up with this utterly stupid decision and right now all she wanted was to find a dark corner and have a good cry – that's what sleep deprivation did to you. Her mood had reached rock bottom and she was simply frustrated, depressed and whiny – not to forget absolutely tired.

She should have listened to them as they had told her that this mission was too much for her… There was a reason why Chunin usually didn't do S-rank missions. But actually Neji was the only Jounin in their team, so the only one who was officially allowed to take part in such a high-ranked mission and yet everyone else seemed to do so much better than her. The others were only tired; give them a few hours of sleep and they'd be perfectly fine and operative again, whereas she was a complete wreck. She wasn't only fighting fatigue, but also back- or rather neck-pain, thanks to all the clothes, food, medicaments and especially weapons she had stuffed into her backpack, and then she was almost permanently suffering from abdominal pain. A couple of hours ago it had even been so bad that she had nearly asked them to take a break, because she had barely been able to concentrate on just walking ahead, but then she had swallowed a pain killer instead and it had been okay as well. More or less. She knew that it didn't cure the pain, it just made her unaware of it for a while, but that was all she needed to function.

"Sayuri-chan?" Naruto addressed her in a quiet, worn out voice, which didn't sound like his at all.

"Huh?" She turned her head to the side a little, all the motion she could muster at the moment.

"Can we talk?"

This didn't sound good. The fact that he asked her and not just did so, made it seem like he had some serious matters to discuss and her brain sure wasn't in the right shape to handle anything complicated.

"Okay… about what?" She eyed him sceptically, trying to figure out what he might want to talk to her about, but there was only a cerebral ghost town in her head and all she could think of was that all their names began either with an 'N' or an 'S' –that sure was what Naruto had only just noticed as well…

"Don't know – just something. I feel like I'll fall asleep otherwise." He sighed noisily, while Sayuri did so internally – no intellectual challenge after all…

"Okay… well…" They both gazed at the fire, not knowing what to say, so Sayuri decided to fill Naruto in on the one single thought that ghosted through the cemetery in her head. "Did you notice that all our names either begin with 'N' or 'S'? And then the order of the night watches: first Shino, then Neji, then me, then you and then Suigetsu. S-N-S-N-S – funny huh?"

"Hm." Naruto shrugged, not even seeming nearly as stunned, as she had been, when she noticed it. "You think they are alright?"

Serious topic after all…

"Hmm… I don't-"

"-don't know." He finished her sentence and grinned to himself, although his face seemed rather grim. "I know that you don't, but tell me what you think."

"Hmm…" Sayuri gave him a long look, before her eyes returned to the tiny flame again and she wrapped her arms tighter around her stomach to keep it warm, since that usually made it better. "It's hard to imagine, isn't it? You should think he's gone through worse, but then…" She broke off, trying to arrange her thoughts, while Naruto just watched her mutely, waiting for her to carry on.

"He changed so much lately and he seemed so… desperate… Whatever it was, I think he saw it coming and it scared him…" Ever since she knew that he had vanished, she had invested a lot of time on analysing his latest behaviour and this was the conclusion she had drawn. He must have known about it – that would explain why he had always looked at her like this, that weird, regretful look – that had been his way of saying goodbye and she hadn't even realized it or maybe just hadn't wanted to see it. She had been far too confused by his behaviour to unravel the reason for it. Still wasn't able to do so. After all if you assumed he had left on his own free will, searching him was pretty pointless (if you disregarded their orders which said to force him to return or kill him otherwise), but then it hadn't seemed like he wanted this, or maybe she just wanted to think that he had been afraid of this – an act of self-deception to preserve her ego, maintain her hopes…

"You think…"Naruto started, but broke off then, before he inhaled deeply and started again. "You think this is why he left you?"

"…No…" She breathed in a dejected voice and wrapped her arms tighter around her stomach, wondering if the aching wasn't connected to her desperate attempts at suppressing her feelings. Maybe it would help to at least let out a tiny bit of all these bottled up emotions, only just enough to ease a bit of the pressure that was making her guts cramp like someone was wringing them. "… but at times I catch myself hoping…"

"Well… you'll find out soon." Naruto gave her what was probably supposed to be an encouraging smile, but Sayuri couldn't quite make sense of the meaning behind his words.

"Huh?" She lifted her head and looked with an inscrutable expression at the reflection of the flame, flickering in Naruto's eyes.

"Dunno… Just have a feeling we'll find him soon."

"Hmm… but what if…"

"What if what?"

"What if we come too late after all?" Sayuri asked in a weak voice and couldn't bear looking into Naruto's face any longer. Seeing a hint of doubt in his features, might destroy the tiny bit of hope she was still harbouring.

"He isn't dead! Seriously!" He exclaimed, sounding utterly convinced by his words.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun." Her eyes met his again and she actually managed to summon a grateful smile on her face.

"Nevermind." He returned the smile and put an arm around her shoulders, so she moved a bit closer to him and leaned against his side, taking comfort in the closeness. He was just like an older brother; he was caring, protective, always worried in a way, it was easy to be around him, they were even fighting like brother and sister and in a way she thought she loved him.

"Gosh, I'm tired." Naruto sighed and yawned loudly.

"Who isn't?" Sayuri raised an eyebrow but then turned her face to Tsunade's slug, which was sitting on the heap of their backpacks and was therefore at eye level with them. "How about you, Katsuyu-sama?"

"Oh, I don't need to. It's enough when a part of me sleeps." She informed them in a quiet voice, her words causing an invisible light bulb to go on above Naruto's head.

"Hey – I could do that with my shadow-clones!" He exclaimed with an enthusiastic expression, which was then replaced by a gloomy one. "But I don't think I could come up with the strength to create even a single one. Phew… this sucks and why is it so cold anyway? You should think that so close to the desert you would break a sweat when you're only wearing a t-shirt." Naruto grimaced and watched a faint wisp of steam billow through his rounded lips and mingle with the narrow trail of smoke ascending from their tiny fire.

"I know…" Sayuri sighed and pulled her sleeping back up to her nose. "The days are overly warm and the nights overly cold."

"Right, although the last days that hardly bothered me."

"That's because you were drugged. Now that you're coming down, you perceive this far more intensely than you would otherwise do."

"Drugged?" Naruto's eyes widened at once and Sayuri sensed how his body became rigid from one second to the next.

"Well… sure…" Sayuri nodded and eyed him sceptically. "What else did you think these pills were?"

"I thought they were… I mean… I don't know… something like… hmm… actually I didn't give much thought to it…" The blonde stuck out his tongue and gave the girl beside him a sheepish look.

"They aren't really the same as drugs… They aren't addictive and they contain a lot of ingredients that are beneficial for your system, but even so they deprive you of sleep and make you mostly unaware of exhaustion, pain, hunger or any other physical need and now that the effects wear off, you become aware of what you've actually done to your body."

"Oh… no wonder that you're so miserly with them."

What a nice way he had of putting things, but it was true. She didn't just keep them all to herself, because she was sure she'd need them, which was definitely true though, but because they were anything but healthy. Maybe she had been wrong about the non-addictive part, because right now she felt like she clearly needed them. In the last three days she had felt boosted, had felt like she was floating on a wave of élan, of nothing-can-go-wrong, even during the hardest of activities, like she had been surrounded by a shield of luck, vigour and yet more nothing-can-go-wrong. Especially at the beginning it had been great, like those pills could push away her mortality and make her invincible, could make her brain immune to all auto-aggressive attacks, could dismantle the minefield of doubts that was turning her head into a war zone. Her spirits, her energy level and her hopes had been somewhere high up in the brilliant blue sky, soaring there with the birds, but now she was crashing. Crashing like a meteor, that was kicked out of its place in the sky.

She felt burned out; her system had purged itself of everything that had kept her going lately and now her body was trembling from sleep-deprivation, lack of solid sustenance and an overall weakness that was hard to define, much harder yet to locate. Her head felt like bursting from all the thinking, from the enforced state of wakefulness, which kept it from pursuing its one desire, which would be shutting down and falling into a deep REM sleep. All she wanted was to feel okay again, to feel good and rested and since these ridiculous two hours of sleep that were still awaiting her, would hardly suffice to achieve any of these things, every single cell, every fibre, every molecule of her being yearned so dearly for one of these tiny black magic pills that were hiding in her backpack. Solely the prospect of how she'd feel in three days if she succumbed to their alluring charm now, kept her from giving in to her weak will.

"Would you mind if I go to sleep already?" Sayuri asked in a drowsy tone. She had reached the end of her tether by now. Her eyes were permanently falling shut, which was actually nothing unusual, but right now she was barely able to tug them open again and more importantly, couldn't vindicate such a self-tormenting action in front of herself.

"Huh?" Naruto snorted and jerked his head to the front.

"Oh no, not at all…" He sounded about as awake as she felt and she wondered if she shouldn't wait till the official end of her shift after all. "You're done since ten minutes anyway – go wake that lazy bum!"

"Really…?" She asked and was sure she must have fallen asleep for a couple of minutes after all, because the last time she had looked at the clock, which had actually not been long ago, she still had fifteen minutes left.

"Phew… so much the better." She sighed and thought of standing up, but at the moment that seemed about as impossible as going to the end of the rainbow, so she crawled the one metre to Suigetsu's sleeping place and peered into his peaceful features.

She almost felt sorry for what she was about to do now, so she tried to be at least as gentle and humane as she could.

"Suigetsu?" She whispered and put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him a little. "Hey?" She gave up on shaking him and patted a hand against his cheek lightly, but instead of waking up, he mumbled something unintelligible, before he lashed out like she was some kind of mosquito. She flinched back in surprise and lost her balance, so she landed on her butt, while the Houzuki just rolled on his side and kept on sleeping like nothing had happened. She stared at him with a slightly dumbfounded face, needing some time to grasp what had just happened, but once she did, she couldn't help but to chuckle. Some exhausted, repressed, staccato-like chuckles, although you mainly heard the air she pressed out through her nose.

"That damn slacker! First he snags the best time and then he still oversleeps his turn!" Naruto groused, anger managing to actually fire some last energy through his tired synapses. "Just let me at it – I'll have him awake in no time!"

Sayuri moved a bit to the side and watched with a curious face, how the blonde rose to his feet and walked with an inauspicious expression towards the soundly sleeping Houzuki. He came to a stop right in front of him, but then turned around, and before Sayuri had a chance to stop him, he just slumped down and took a seat on Suigetsu's face.

"Naruto!" The medic-nin clasped a hand in front of her mouth and watched her team-mate with a shocked face and also a tiny little grin on her lips, but that one just ignored her.

"Wake-up call!" He sounded clearly amused and now started wiggling from side to side, finally managing to wake the white-haired man.

"Wha- Get off me you fat-" He pressed out through gritted teeth and tried to push Naruto's butt out of his face.

"Naruto, stop it! You're waking them all!" Sayuri grasped his upper arm and pulled him back, so he landed on the hard ground right next to her.

"Ugh." Suigetsu grunted, now that he was relieved of Naruto's weight and wiped his hands across his face, as if to brush off imaginary cobwebs. "I'll so get back at you for that!"

"Pah! You should be glad I didn't drop my pants first!" Naruto countered and darted malignant glances at his current team-mate, who did it just like him.

"What's going on?" They all turned around and saw that Neji had propped himself up on his elbows and looked at them through half open eyes and a definitely sleepy but also grumpy expression on his face.

"Err… we…" Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly and gave an uneasy laugh.

"I see." Neji sighed and rolled his eyes, but then his face hardened suddenly and his eyes popped wide open.

"Shit!" He cursed and shot to his feet at once and so did the others, although they still didn't know why.

"What-" Naruto looked around wildly, but before he could finish his question, they were suddenly surrounded by a dense cloud of smoke, smelling strongly of sulphur. They reflexively raised their sleeves to cover their noses and mouths and pressed their eyes firmly shut, although too late to prevent any contact with whatever substance that was, but from how their eyes were burning it couldn't be anything beneficial.

"My eyes!" Suigetsu wailed, once the smoke had subsided, but even so, they were still unable to open their eyes.

"Sayuri!" Neji barked her name and she at once knew what he wanted, so she scanned the field for anything that might be helpful in their current situation.

"There is… there are two persons…" She corrected herself and took a step backwards, until she could sense her team-mates, standing in a circle with their backs facing inwards, so no one could attack them from behind.

"One and eight o'clock." This wasn't too much of a help for them, since their faces were turned into different directions, but it was better than nothing.

"Damn it! Who are you guys?" Naruto called out and gritted his teeth, intuitively turning his face into the right direction – his training with Sayuri and Jiraiya had paid off after all – at least to some extent…

"I can handle things from here on – you can go to the others. "The one on the left said and crouched down. Then he moved his hands rapidly in a long sequence of seals, before he placed a hand on the ground between his knees and remained like that.

"_He did something_…" Sayuri whispered to Neji, who was right beside her, so neither the others nor their apparent enemies could hear her. _"… something changed about the atmosphere, but I can't tell what._"

"Hn." Neji nodded and took a deep breath, trying to gather his last bit of chakra so he could activate his Byakugan to analyse the situation. Actually he had meant to wait, in case it should come to a violent conflict, but as it seemed that wasn't an option.

"I see." The other one said in a calm voice and a second later he was already gone.

"One of them left." Sayuri informed the others, who seemed to relax a little after her words.

"Pah! You think you can take on all five of us by yourself? My vision is almost back to normal, the second I see you, you're a dead man!" Suigetsu snarled, but couldn't keep a thrilled tone out of his voice.

"You won't." Neji said calmly and relaxed his posture, whereas his team was merely confused by his words.

"Then you'll have to stop me." Suigetsu said in a challenging manner and squinted at his team-leader, who was slowly but surely assuming shape again. How stupid of them to use smoke, instead of flash bombs, the blindness hadn't even lasted two full minutes. That guy was either extremely full of himself or just plain stupid.

"That won't be necessary. There is a barrier surrounding us." Neji explained and deactivated his Byakugan again.

"What?" They all stared with shocked expressions at the still slightly blurry, but definitely discernable silhouette of the Hyuga, who was now slumping down to the ground, his face directed at the unknown man.

"So you must be Hyuga, Neji." The cloaked man said in a blank, but notably deep voice, however Neji didn't bother to respond.

"You can lower your guard. There is nothing we can do from in here and neither can he." Neji sighed, but his team-mates still remained in a fighting stance. "The barrier has four corner posts. One at the rock over there, one each at the roots of this tree and that one-" He moved his head, according to his description. "-and the last one where he is sitting. He needs to keep up the contact to the earth, in order to maintain this jutsu, so he can't attack us. Besides, neither attacks from the inside, nor the outside would manage to get through the barrier, so we are in no immediate danger."

"Very accurate analysis, but I would expect no less from a bearer of the Byakugan."

"But we need to get out of here!" Naruto shrieked and took a few steps forward with his arms stretched out in front of him, until he reached the invisible, but very solid wall, which was keeping them imprisoned.

"Damn it!" He slammed his fist against it, but other than scraping up his knuckles that action didn't do him any good.

"Phew." Sayuri dropped down to her knees as well, a bit faster than the blonde to accept their impasse, but only because her thoughts were still dominated by a single topic… "This just had to happen when it was finally my turn to sleep."

"You're one of Danzô's men, a member of _root_." Shino eyed their enemy closely, same as his team-mates, who hadn't even thought this far yet.

"I am." He confirmed, but since he was sitting there in the darkness, none of them could tell if they had ever seen him before.

"Really? Then you're supposed to go back to Konoha at once!" Naruto exclaimed in a loud almost non-tired voice, before Neji added: "-by order of the Hokage."

"So, you're one of them, huh?" Suigetsu just ignored what they had said and walked towards the man, as close as the barrier would allow and crouched down in front of him. "I must say I don't particularly like your master… And I guess I don't like you either – I mean a trap? Like c'mon how cowardly is that? What about a real fight, huh?" He raised an eyebrow and stared at the dark silhouette, trying to make out anything about his opposite's appearance, but it didn't really work and then he didn't respond to his challenge either, which was more than just annoying.

"Helloo…? I'm talking to you! Scared, huh? Hey aren't we supposed to snitch on them, once we run into them? Where's that slug-thing again?" He turned around to his team and roamed his eyes around.

"Don't talk like that." Sayuri corrected him, far too tired to be appropriately outraged. "It's Katsuyu-sama, and she is over there." She pointed at the pile of their backpacks, but guess who wasn't there. "Katsuyu-sama?"

A couple of minutes ago – well, at least in perceived time – she had still talked to her, so where was she? Slowly she made her way to their baggage and started looking through it, when the ANBU raised his deep, bass voice: "There's no point in searching her."

"Uh?" Sayuri stared at him with widened eyes, not knowing what to make of his words, but apparently Neji did.

"So that's what the smoke was there for. It didn't smell like an ordinary smoke bomb."

"What? You mean it was some kind of slugicide?" Naruto shrieked, before he glared at the stranger. "You bastard…"

The man didn't react to the insult or the statement, apparently not willing to give away their methods.

"So you knew she was with us." Neji said in a musing tone, before he went for his next guess. "Since when are you following us already?"

"Since your rest in that village, yesterday afternoon. The thing about the insects you found was of much use to us." The ANBU explained and at once caused Suigetsu to lose his temper.

"Do your own research, you damn-"

"BOO!" Naruto suddenly leaped in front of the ANBU and landed in a crouch with his hands held in front of him like they were claws.

"Err… what's that supposed to be?" Suigetsu scratched the back of his head and regarded the blonde with a puzzled frown on his face.

"Meant to scare him." The Uzumaki laughed sheepishly. "Didn't work…"

"Don't say…" The Houzuki rolled his eyes and watched how Naruto turned around to him again.

"Oh, shut up you…" He groused before he explained the reason for his making a fool of himself. "He said that he needed to keep the contact to the earth, so I thought if I managed to scare him he'd let go."

"…"

"…"

"… right…" Suigetsu scrunched his nose, before he slumped down beside the rest of his team.

"Hey at least I'm doing something!" Naruto defended his action and cast a stern look at his team-mates, who were now all sitting, or rather half-lying on the ground, before he joined them as well.

"Guess it's about time, huh?" Sayuri pulled the small plastic bag, with the military ration pills inside, out of her bag. Actually she had meant to wait until their bodies had recovered from the exertions by themselves, but the luxury of time just wasn't on their side, so it's not like they had a choice.

"But what is he keeping us here for anyway?" Naruto wailed, before he took the small pill his team-mate handed him.

"Isn't that obvious?" Sayuri asked, while she kept on distributing the pills, whereas the ANBU just watched them mutely, but couldn't do anything about it. Since she didn't receive an answer, but noticed that all eyes were now focused on her, she figured it might not be as obvious as she had thought – maybe the pill was already having its effect on her…

"They found them." She shrugged, before she turned to their captor. "Didn't you?"

"Yes."

"So you're keeping us here, so we won't interfere." Neji speculated and received a nod in response.

"What are you gonna do with them?" Naruto shrieked, feeling his blood boil with rage.

"We'll do as our orders tell us."

"Don't say – and what are your orders?"

"…"

"Hey! What are your orders?" Naruto asked again, but the ANBU still wouldn't give him an answer or react to any of the other questions they asked him in the next hour, he kept them imprisoned here. He was neither softened by any of their pleas to let them go, nor was he impressed by any of their attempts at intimidating him and he wouldn't agree to any of the deals they proposed either – just what you'd expect of an ANBU.

The sun was beginning to rise, giving a golden shimmer to the dense wisps of morning mist, which coiled around the dark brown tree-trunks, concealing the wet ground underneath them. Their fire had expired by now, but since they had no use for it anymore, no one had bothered to keep it alive. They were now able to see their captor, but although he came from the same village, none of them could recall ever having met him before, which wasn't impossible, but definitely unusual for Konoha.

"-and there is a babbling brook. The water rushes until it gets to a waterfall and there it goes drip-drip-drip into the lake underneath it and there's just all this running water – warm water – dripping and dropping like a leaky faucet. But then you turn it on and you hear a swiiiisssshhhhhh…" Naruto whizzed and used his hands to imitate the motion of waves.

"Cut it out already." Suigetsu groused and glared at the blonde. "He'd rather wet his pants than search for a toilet here in the middle of nowhere. All you do is make me want to pee."

"So you have a better idea?" Naruto turned around and leaned with his back against the barrier that was keeping them here.

"Obviously not. But at least I'm not making things worse."

"Worse? How am I making things worse?"

"Tze – ask my bladder." The Houzuki rolled his eyes and took another sip of his drinking bottle.

"Then stop drinking all our water goddamnit!" Naruto barked, but Suigetsu just shrugged him off and decided to pay no more attention to him.

"You're so quiet. Are you okay?" Neji took a seat next to Sayuri, who was sitting cross-legged in the corner which was about farthest away from their captor.

"Hmm?" She looked up, but once her hazy blue eyes met Neji's pale lavender ones, she averted them again and stared at her knees.

"I'm fine. The pills are quite effective." Not as effective as that first time, as she had felt like superwoman after taking them, but in consideration of what a wreck she had been before, it wasn't too surprising. They couldn't do wonders, but she felt ordinary now, like at any other day when she hadn't taken any drugs, but had sufficient sleep and what more could she ask for?

"Worried, huh?"

"I… I don't know." She shook her head slowly. "I don't know what to feel…"

The only thing she knew was that she was entirely overwhelmed by the entire situation, but she had no idea if that was because there were just too much information for her to digest at the moment or if it was the opposite and there were just too little to make sense of the situation. She knew now that Danzô's men had caught up to them, that they had apparently found Sasuke, who therefore had to be close to them and that they now held them here so they wouldn't interfere, because they probably thought they'd help him if it came to that and keep them from killing him. She didn't know if that's what they meant to do, but she was pretty sure of it. So far so good… What she didn't know was how an encounter between them would pass off. If they would fight against Sasuke, or if they would fight against his kidnappers or maybe something entirely different like body-snatching. But the fact that they were keeping them here had to mean that he was still alive, right?

"Hey…?"

"I'm sorry…" Sayuri jerked her head back and side-glanced at Neji. "What did you say?"

"I-" He started but broke off, his attention obviously focussed on the ANBU, who had now moved for the first time in the last hour.

"Something's happening." Neji murmured and rose to his feet.

Sayuri gave him a startled look, but then gazed at the other members of her team, who were now all watching their captor, who was whispering something into the headphones he was apparently wearing. Naruto and Suigetsu at once made their way to him, as close as the barrier would allow, so they could listen to what he was saying.

"I see." He finally said in a louder tone, so they all heard him without any trouble. "We are drawing back for the moment. They are straight north, 3 o'clock, about two kilometres from here. Guess he's your problem now." He said, before he vanished in another cloud of smoke.

Again caught off guard by this sudden assault they all started coughing and squeezed their eyes firmly shut, which must be exactly what he had aimed for, since this way he could take off without being seen.

"He is… gone." Sayuri murmured and rose to her feet as well, now that the smoke had vanished again. It was an ordinary smoke bomb this time, so their eyes were okay and they didn't need to wait long for their vision to clear again.

"Yes." Neji confirmed after having scanned their surroundings with his Byakugan. "I don't like this…"

"You think they got him?" Naruto stared with widened eyes at his team-leader, wondering if he had misinterpreted the words of the ANBU.

"No." Neji shook his head after some time of contemplation. "I mean… it's too easy. We need to consider that it might be a trap."

"A trap?" Naruto frowned. "He had us trapped already, what more could he trap us?"

"I don't think it's a trap." Shino said in his usual calm and detached voice and at once drew everyone's attention to him, since it happened rarely enough that he spoke up without being forced to. "He said they were drawing back, which suggests that they apparently were no match for whatever opponent they were facing."

"So now they want us to do the dirty work for them, so they can take over afterwards, huh?" Suigetsu raised an eyebrow and gazed at the Aburame, who then nodded slowly.

"I see." Neji said. "They are ANBU so if they couldn't handle their enemy, he must have been very strong, so to them it would be best if we just took each other out – that would save them a lot of trouble."

"Hm." A pondering silence descended upon their group, everyone wondering who the ominous enemy was. Of course they all had someone special in mind, but none of them would put it into words, as if that might make it real.

"What does it matter?" Naruto asked in a loud tone, bringing them all back to reality in an instant. "We have no time to lose – let's go!"

"Naruto is right." Sayuri supported him in a calm voice. "We should leave before they have a chance to get away."

"Yes." Neji nodded, but then held them back as they were only about to take off. "But first we'll have to set some things straight. We don't know what is going to happen, but whatever it is, we'll do it like them and draw back in case the situation becomes too much for us to handle. Our top priority is not Sasuke, but getting out there alive. Understood?"

"Yes." They nodded with grim determination and after thoroughly scanning their faces, just to be sure that they were taking his orders seriously, Neji nodded as well and led the way into the direction the ANBU had given them.

They jumped through tree after tree, in probably the only forest there was in the Land of Earth, but since they've rarely ever been here, their geographical knowledge of this country was rather limited.

"You think they fought against Sasuke?" Naruto had a talent for voicing the very thing that ghosted through everyone's mind and since no one had an answer to that, he had to wait quite some time for a reply.

"No." Neji answered after some time and was then outpaced by a swarm of Shino's insects, which would check the area for him.

"How do you know? Can you see them?" Naruto asked with a tiny speck of hope in his clear blue eyes, but it didn't stay there for long, as he saw how the Hyuga shook his head.

"ANBU usually operate in teams of three or more people, but considering the situation it were probably more. One of them was with us, so we can assume that at least two, but more likely three or four were fighting and yet they were no match for their opponents. Sasuke wouldn't have been able to take on a group of ANBU all by himself." Neji finished, but Suigetsu didn't really seem convinced.

"You shouldn't underestimate him. He knows some dirty tricks those ANBU couldn't even imagine." The Houzuki put on a meaningful grin and exchanged a quick glance with Sayuri.

"And no one said he was alone, we already discussed the possibility that he might have accomplices." Shino murmured and took a slight turn to the left, at once followed by the others.

"Stop talking like that! This is Sasuke – one of us. If he did fight them, then only because they attacked him. There's nothing about accomplices or anything – I'm almost sure they didn't even fight against him." Naruto defended his team-mate, like he always did, regardless of the circumstances, and not only because it had become a habit by now, but because he earnestly believed in him.

"Don't tell me you seriously believe in that kidnapping-thing?" Suigetsu gave him a dismissive sneer and caused Naruto to pull a wry face.

"Man you're sweating– how can you be sweating already when we only just took off?" He glared at the Houzuki, who was obviously offended by his words, but then that's why he had said that.

"Tze – how about you submit to a few experiments that change your whole metabolism and then we continue this conversation."

"Cut it out now. This is no time for fooling around, so keep your guards up!" Neji rebuked them and kept scanning the area with his Byakugan. "In case it should come to a confrontation Naruto, Suigetsu and I will fight at the front. Shino, you're a long-range fighter, so you'll stay behind and back us up. Sayuri, you'll stay out of things and make sure to be ready whenever one of us needs medical aid."

"Understood." They all nodded more or less enthusiastically, but this sure wasn't the time to complain about their orders so they left it at that. As Neji said, this was no time for fooling around; things were getting serious now, the anxiety and the pressure were nearly palpable, but all that mattered now was to function. That's what being a shinobi was like; repressing one's emotions, so one could function, regardless of the circumstances. At least that's how it was supposed to work, but reality was often different. In reality there was still fear and then all these doubts… The doubts were hardest to deal with.

"I found them." Shino said nonchalantly, the way you might announce that you found a piece of butter in your half-empty fridge. "Both Karin and Sasuke."

Sayuri's eyes widened slightly as he mentioned their names. So this was really it now. It had been hard to believe as that ANBU had said it – after all, who was he to them? He didn't owe them any truth. He could have sent them into the completely wrong direction, just because he hadn't been able to keep his jutsu up any longer and hoped he could buy his team enough time this way. But apparently that wasn't the case, he had been honest and keeping in mind what he had said, they should be really close now. They had covered more than a kilometre already and with every further step into their direction, into his direction, her doubts increased.

She really didn't know what she was doing here. After what happened, she shouldn't have come here, it would probably cost her the little progress she had made lately, but they had needed a medic-nin and so she had volunteered to accompany them or rather persuaded them to let her go and although she was reluctant to admit it, she really was worried, which was still pretty much of an understatement.

"They should be close now, can you see them Neji?" Shino asked the man who was running next to him in his usual calm voice, as if all the running didn't strain him at all.

"…" The Hyuga scanned the tree-filled area in front of them with his Byakugan, before he nodded his assent, but left it at that.

"Are they alright?" Naruto, who was leading their little group had turned his head around and looked with an impatient expression at the Hyuga.

"Seems so…" The brown-haired man nodded with a fierce look on his face and caused a startled expression to appear on Naruto's face.

"They are?" – That was definitely unexpected, considering that they were missing since nearly two weeks now, but actually it was good news. However the look on Neji's face made him doubt that somehow and he couldn't help but to feel rather uneasy.

"Oh c'mon – does that really surprise you?" Suigetsu, who looked as if he badly needed a break, grinned at the blonde, before he moaned: "Didn't you say they were close?"

"Hm…" The Hyuga nodded grimly, before he slowed down, as they came upon a small clearing, which was bathed in the pale, but still strong and warm light of the early morning sun. It was such a peaceful scene. The clearance was nearly a perfect circle, entirely surrounded by a dense wall of vibrant green trees, which seemed to glow from within, as the sun was nearly on level with them. The entire ground was covered with lush grass, speckled with buttercups, chamomiles and various kinds of wild flowers, which were studded with tiny pearls of morning dew. Like a secret garden, created by no one else but Mother Nature herself.

And there they were, standing right in the middle of it, as if they aimed at being seen. It were just the two of them, Sasuke and Karin – no sign of the other two or anyone else – but at least they looked entirely unharmed and yet that didn't soothe them a bit… Not with the way they were standing there, as if an invisible wall separated them from their group and they didn't seem in the least inclined to overcome that illusionary barrier. Something was terribly wrong; they didn't need to be saved – at this point there was no more doubt about it.

It was hard to look at them. Karin's eyes held so much scorn in them and then the boastful, arrogant grin on her full lips and the way she drew closer to Sasuke and wrapped her arms around him in such an obvious manner – as if he belonged to her now and she wanted the whole world to know it. Never averting her mocking red eyes from Sayuri, who looked as if she had seen a ghost, she whispered something in his ear with a lewd expression on her face and her grin only grew wider and became even more malicious, as she realized that her action had the intended effect on the girl in front of her.

Looking at Sasuke however was even harder to bear… How he just stood there with his blank, emotionless face and the hard, empty eyes. He didn't react to Karin's embrace or to her whispering in any kind, he just kept staring at them and it made something snap in Sayuri's chest to see how terribly cold his eyes had become…

She wrapped her arms around her stomach, not knowing where else to put them and feeling as if she needed something to keep herself from crumbling apart. She still didn't understand it… understand why they had failed like this and as she saw them there, the two of them together, so clearly separated from the rest of them, she couldn't help but to wonder about how it could have come to all this…

This wasn't how she had imagined things to be like. She had prepared to free him out of the arms of some vicious impostor, a kidnapper or an extortionist and not out of Karin's arms, although she couldn't deny that she had been afraid of this the whole time. Ever since she heard that the two of them had vanished together, there had been a tiny, repressed voice in her head that had claimed that they had left together in order to be together and as it seemed, that voice had been right.

Without any prior warning, Sasuke's piercing eyes met hers. They were like dilated black windows, inviting her to take a look inside him, take a look into a world which has ridded itself of all phantasmagorias of a better time, any hope, anything she had ever seen in them. They weren't blank or empty or anything, not this time, although she would have preferred that to what she was seeing in them now. She wondered if she'd ever manage to tug her eyes away from his, find her way out of his dark and foreboding mind which seemed to be consumed by a hatred so pure that a mere glimpse of it hit her like ice water and she felt how she was slowly but surely sucked into a world beyond this one herself. A clean, white one; anything like the one hiding inside his thoughts and yet no less disturbing, but then with a sudden slam reality kicked back into gear.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled and you could clearly see relief in his face. As it seemed, he was entirely unaware of the icy curtain that hung between them and was just about to run towards the two, when Neji stretched out his arm to hold him back.

"What?" He shot a confused look at his team-leader, but that one just stared with a grim expression at the two missing persons and now he noticed that the others did so too, and he wondered why they weren't glad that they had finally found them and then without any major difficulties even.

"So you came." Sasuke raised his voice, but just as expected there weren't any emotions in it, neither joy nor anger nor anything else, that told them what he thought about this reunion. "I wouldn't say it surprised me, but still I wouldn't have thought you'd find me this early."

"You underestimated us." Neji said in an unimpressed tone and glared at the Uchiha.

"Apparently, but it's not like it would change anything."

"Just what are you talking about?" Naruto pushed Neji's arm away and took a step forward. "We came here to save you!"

"Save me?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow, while Karin giggled quietly and put a hand on his upper arm. "And what exactly do you want to save me from?"

"Anything!" Naruto exclaimed, sounding utterly convinced by his words. "You tell us what-"

"-enough now, Naruto." Sayuri interrupted him in an agonised tone and tried her best to meet his eyes. "Don't you see it?"

The blonde kept looking into the sad face of his team-mate, until he slowly turned around to the dark-haired man, as he was finally overcome by understanding.

"You mean…" He murmured and shook his head, still not understanding this, or maybe just not wanting to understand it. Not even his face seemed to know what to do; it was a mixture of a frown, a grimace, a half-smile and definitely a distraught look.

"So Sasuke, what's the plan then?" Suigetsu asked completely casual and put a hand on his hip, just like they were having a nice little chit-chat.

"Mind your own business, dork!" Karin glared at him and moved even closer to Sasuke, as if she meant to emphasize that it was now only the two of them and that he better shouldn't do anything to spoil that. Actually she had hoped she'd never have to see him again and not only him, but every single one of them, but then she would have missed out on looking straight into Sayuri's face, as her tiny little heart was broken in two and especially the satisfaction of having been the cause for it. That was the revenge for having snatched her future boyfriend away right under her nose. Hey – yet another thing Sasuke and her had in common – they were both out for revenge. Things were getting better and better. She'd tell him once they were among themselves again and could pick up where they left off…

"I'm in a generous mood today, so I'll give you the chance to leave now." Sasuke's obsidian eyes switched to Sayuri's for the fragment of a second, before they moved to the Hyuga right beside her, as he raised his voice.

"Arrogant as always." Neji hissed and observed how Sasuke narrowed his eyes into slits, pretty much the same way he always did when talking to him, so it's not like he cared. "We have our orders. We'll bring you back to Konoha, dead or alive, if you don't leave us another choice."

"Dead, huh?" The Uchiha raised an eyebrow, at first sight in a provoking manner, but if you looked carefully you could only see bitterness in his face. "That sounds exactly like Konoha's way of handling these things."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Naruto shrieked and stared with widened eyes at his best friend. "That's just what our orders say, but of course we won't kill you! We heard that Danzô's men found you so we came here at once and-"

"Danzô's men?" Sasuke repeated in a toneless voice and you could see something in his expression change, become even darker than before. "These cowards were working for Danzô?"

"Yes! They trapped us, so we wouldn't interfere." Naruto explained and still looked pretty sullen.

"So it really was you, who forced them to retread." Neji ventured a guess, but the clan-heir wouldn't respond to him.

"How about enlightening us about what is going on, huh?" Suigetsu proposed and still seemed completely at ease, like he didn't understand the seriousness of the situation.

"Hn." He nodded thoughtfully. "What's going on is that I severed my connection with the Leaf Village."

"No way…" Naruto murmured to himself and stared with a shocked face at the two shinobi, before he carried on in a louder tone. "That doesn't make any sense – why in the world would you do that?"

"Because I have no intention of living among the murderers of my clan." Sasuke hissed in a dangerously calm voice, which seemed far worse than if he would have started yelling now.

"But I thought it was Itachi who killed them!" The Uzumaki exclaimed, really not understanding what he was talking about.

"Itachi was just another victim of Konoha's administration."

"What?" Naruto shrieked. "You saw him yourself and you killed him with your own hands – what has that to do with Konoha?"

"I don't owe you an explanation." Sasuke said dismissively and glowered at his opposites. "So now, if you don't want to leave…" Instead of finishing his threat, he drew his katana out of the violet robe around his waist and pointed it at the group in front of him, at least one half of which still looked clearly shocked.

"Alright then." Neji closed his eyes briefly and nodded. "We stick to the plan and-"

"Sorry guys." Suigetsu interrupted him and cast a cheeky grin at every single one of them. "You in Konoha are fine and everything, but you're of very little use to me. My loyalty lies with Sasuke."

Well aware of the shocked pairs of eyes resting on him, the white-haired man moved on to Sasuke, who then nodded slightly, which he saw as a sign of welcome, but then Karin stepped into his way.

"Don't even think of it! Stay where you are!" She barked and looked pretty creepy while doing so, but the Houzuki didn't seem to mind her disapproval.

"Oh, shut up you…" He groused under his breath and lined up with the two of them and glanced at the Uchiha. "Thought you could just run away on me, eh?"

"Yes, fishhead we hoped so!" Karin snapped at him. "So how about you just go ahead and die so-"

"Enough Karin." Sasuke interrupted her and gave her a stern look. "Leave him alone and make yourself useful."

"Pfft." She snorted disdainfully and shot a last venomous glare at the Houzuki, before she turned her attention to their enemies again. She put her hands together and raised two fingers in front of her lips, before she closed her eyes and concentrated on their chakras.

"That's gonna be tough." She murmured and clicked her tongue, still not opening her deep red eyes. "Their chakra is enhanced, they must have taken some sort of medicine and-" She gasped suddenly and her eyes popped wide open.

"And?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and observed sceptically how the redhead kept staring at the group in front of them with an obviously shocked face.

"Hello? Reality calling Karin. What is it?" Suigetsu smirked and poked a finger at the side of Karin's head, but instead of punching him for it, she just shook her head dazedly and still looked pretty upset.

"Err… it's just… that nine-tails chakra… always a shock." She stammered and nodded brusquely, but never lifted her eyes off the people in front of her.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded, but still eyed her sceptically, before he turned to Suigetsu as he raised his voice. "We all took some pills to increase our chakra and fight exhaustion. They are really great." He grinned widely. "Maybe I should relieve Sayuri of them…"

"How long do you plan on just standing around?" Karin shouted at their opposites.

"She is right." Neji murmured and glanced at his team-mates who all looked clearly affected by the situation, especially Naruto appeared entirely upset and somewhat helpless.

"Get a grip on yourself, Naruto." The Hyuga reprimanded him. "He doesn't leave us a choice. I won't be able to fight him alone and neither will you, so we'll both take care of him. Shino you'll take on Suigetsu and Sayuri you will fight Karin."

"…"

"Understood?" Neji raised an eyebrow, as he received no response from his team and now they all nodded at least, but looked anything but keen on their tasks.

"Have you made up your minds?" Sasuke enquired and gave them a haughty look.

"Please Sasuke!" Naruto wailed, still not willing to accept that his best friend had apparently turned his back on all of them yet again. "I don't know what happened, but this isn't like you. I know that you don't really mean what you say."

"Tze." Sasuke closed his eyes and shook his head slowly, and when he opened them again his face was as cold and blank as ever. "You still have that fixed image of me… but this time I'll destroy it for good."

The second he finished talking, he already rushed forwards, straight toward Naruto, who only stood there with widened eyes, but didn't move away. The shiny blade of Sasuke's katana was only inches away from his chest, but then there was a metallic clink and as he gazed to the side, Naruto realized that Shino had blocked Sasuke's attack with a kunai. Now he finally overcame his paralysis and jumped to the back and right in time, because a second later the Uchiha managed to cut through Shino's kunai, by enhancing his katana with lightning elemental chakra and if he had still stood there, there'd probably be two of him now.

"So you're serious…?" He asked in a quavering voice and stared with a pleading expression at the dark-haired man, who merely nodded. "But why? How could you change so much?"

"People don't change Naruto. I am still the same; it's the situation that is different this time." He explained and then leaped to the side as Neji ran towards him with his bluish gleaming fist raised in front of him.

"Hey!" Suigetsu jumped into Shino's way as he saw that he was just about to go after Sasuke as well. "If I heard correctly you are supposed to fight me, aren't you?" He raised an eyebrow and sneered at the Aburame, who then stood up straight and nodded. "Hehe, then let's see what your bugs can do."

He was just about to start laughing, when he was suddenly surrounded by thousands of the tiny black insects, covering every centimetre of his body. Some of them even managed to fly into his open mouth and he could literally feel how they began draining his chakra or maybe he just imagined so, because he knew that's what they did.

Shino watched the black figure, without any emotions on his face, apparently relaxing while his insects did the job for him, but then there was a sudden splash and the human shaped figure, fell apart.

"Guess you're the perfect opponent for me." Suigetsu chuckled as he materialised again, after having transformed into a liquid form to get rid of the bugs. Instead of saying anything, Shino leaped into the air, as Suigetsu was about to launch into a counterattack with his ridiculously huge sword and only just managed to evade him.

With no apparent effort, the white-haired man pulled his Decapitator out of the ground again and turned his head to where he assumed his opponent to be, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Ah come on. I'm not a fan of hide-and-seek." He pouted but then jumped into the trees after all to start searching for his assigned opponent.

Meanwhile Sayuri was watching Sasuke's fight. By now Naruto had more or less managed to overcome his misgivings and had joined the quarrel. Nevertheless it was obvious that he was holding back. He relied on mere taijutsu and even so he mainly defended himself, although considering that they were fighting two against one you should think that they were having the upper hand. Especially since Sasuke didn't seem to be in a good shape either. She had seen him fight often enough, she knew what he could do and this was clearly not it. He was pretty slow by his standards and he didn't move the way he usually did, he seemed kind of stiff. Neji was probably the only one who was seriously fighting, but up to now Sasuke had managed to avoid his attacks for the most part, but it was getting harder for him – the fight with Danzô's men must have taken quite a toll on him and she wasn't so sure if that was a good or a bad thing… No. A good thing, definitely. He was more unlikely to hurt any of them when he was wounded himself and this way they might manage to overpower him without having to kill him.

"Hey." Karin stepped into her way and gave her an artificial smile. "So it's you and me now, huh?"

Instead of responding Sayuri only glared at her, too angry and upset to know what to say, or merely managing to speak up and then there was still the other fight, which she much rather watched than Karin's visage.

"Uh… you're angry… scary…" Karin gave a brief laugh and adjusted her glasses. "Guess you're out of the picture now, huh? But I warned you, didn't I?"

Again no response. Sayuri was too confused still to think of a witty reply that would make Karin choke on her words and before she'd end up fuelling her taunts, she rather kept quiet and at least pretended to be above such things.

"Did you lose your tongue?" She gave up on feigning a smile and now merely glared at the violet-haired girl, who finally tore her eyes away from the other fight and met her gaze.

"Are you here to talk or to fight?" She raised an eyebrow and after giving her a stunned look, Karin started laughing.

"Straight to the point, eh? Fine then, let's get this over with as quickly as possible." She sneered haughtily and grabbed a handful of shuriken, which she then threw at her opposite. Luckily, Sayuri had already drawn a kunai before, and now used it to fend off the sharp throwing stars. Right as she was done with it and actually meant to breathe through, Karin was in front of her with a kunai herself and although Sayuri hadn't anticipated her to be this quick, she managed to resist her attack with her own dagger.

"You don't even have the slightest idea how long I've been waiting for this…" The redhead sneered and bored her crimson red eyes into Sayuri's blue ones. "I've seen through your plan, but it won't work. You won't spoil this again. I'll make sure he'll never get to know of it."

Before she even had the chance to make sense of her words, the medic-nin saw how Karin drew up her knee to kick her, so she pushed herself backwards, forgetting that there was a tree behind her, so all she could do was use her free hand to block her knee. It kind of worked in a way, after all she didn't manage to hit her stomach, but there had been an ominous cracking in her left wrist and although it only hurt a little, but that was probably due to the soldier pills, she feared it was sprained, maybe even broken. Since her hands were at the moment busy with holding down Karin's knee and blocking her kunai and since she accordingly couldn't kick her, Sayuri jerked her head to the front to give her a clout. They both winced in pain and Karin stumbled backwards and grasped for her glasses, which now hung in two pieces from her ears and there was a narrow runlet of blood running down her forehead, probably caused by some of the shards.

"You damn-" Karin hissed and threw them to the ground, before she bowed down and rolled to the back, as she saw Sayuri's bluish gleaming hand approach her. She kicked against the side of her knee from down on the ground and caused her to skid to the side and once Sayuri caught herself again, Karin was back on her feet as well and stormed with a raised kunai towards the violet-haired girl.

Sayuri's eyes widened in shock, while her brain was working on overdrive, to figure out what to do now. She had only one functioning hand left, which meant dodging. She jumped up, while concentrating chakra into her feet and landed on the broad branch of a nearby tree and was just about to leap higher, just to be on the safe side, when Karin threw her kunai and scratched the tip of her nose.

It barely tickled a bit, so she didn't pay attention to the tiny cut and jumped out of the tree instead, only to realize that she had landed right in the middle of the fight between Suigetsu and Shino and then Karin was still hot on her heels, so she couldn't just turn back. Still Karin was her opponent so she shouldn't get into Shino's fight, especially since the Aburame had only just thrown a kunai with an exploding tag at the Houzuki and she didn't want to be there when it detonated. Therefore she turned around again, having to rely on her left hand after all and then there was already the explosion.

She squeezed her eyes shut reflexively and hunched her shoulders, but she recovered from the shock pretty quickly and when she opened her eyes again, she could see how Karin was surrounded by a swarm of black insects. The redhead was flailing around wildly, trying to keep them away, so Sayuri at once used the chance to throw a couple of shuriken at her, while trying to thank Shino via telekinesis. At least three of her missiles hit the mark. Karin gave a pained shriek and now the insects around her scattered and moved on to Suigetsu as the cloud of smoke finally dispersed. Karin came back into view and she saw that she was pressing a hand to her ear and then her jacket was torn at her side on the height of her waist, but it didn't seem like it was a deep wound, but it was something at least, so this clearly called for an offensive move.

The battle between Sasuke, Naruto and Neji seemed far more serious and grave. Although they were fighting since barely five minutes now, they all looked fairly worn and their bodies were covered with cuts and bruises. Sasuke was standing on a small boulder, while Neji was rushing towards him from the right and Naruto from the left. A second before they would have reached him, he concentrated his lightning elemental chakra in his entire body, before he let it flow out into all directions. The two Konoha-nin knew him though and already expected his attack, so they jumped into the air at once to avoid contact with the ground, since it would serve as a conductor for the electricity and since they were so high in the air that they weren't in his reach, they managed to escape him without any harm.

By now Naruto had given up on going easy on him, in case he wanted to get him to come back he'd have to beat him, because he was sure now that he wouldn't follow them voluntarily. Still in midair he created a shadow clone and began concentrating chakra in his right hand, using the bunshin to help mould it into a small ball. Once he was done, the clone vanished again and Naruto fell with his Rasengan in front of him towards the Uchiha, who now finally activated his Sharingan, before he raised his arm up as well, planning to counter Naruto's Rasengan with his Chidori.

Their two characteristic jutsu collided and seemed to merge with each other, until they formed one huge energy ball and in that moment everything around them seemed to pale into insignificance and for a brief second, their minds made a connection, but then the combined force of their attacks became too much and they were both hauled backwards. Naruto was slammed against a tree, while Sasuke landed with his back on the ground, but what they both had in common was that the collision knocked all air out of their lungs.

They lay there like overturned turtles, both gasping for air, but as Sasuke was only just about to struggle into an upright position, which was even harder now, because he was sure that the collision must have caused his old wounds to open again, he could see the Hyuga come at him, so he slumped back down and rolled to the side, hearing how Neji's fist crashed into the ground right beside his ear. He drew his katana, seeing that his forearm and his hand were entirely covered with blood and blisters and aimed it at Neji's arm, but he managed to pull it back in time and leaped backwards, while Sasuke used this chance to get back on his feet. By now Naruto had done so as well and was running straight towards him again, persistent as always.

Sasuke cursed under his breath and squinted his left eye, as some blood from the wound on his forehead, he owed to the Hyuga, ran into it. It only caused his blood to boil even more and he saw this as his chance to finally get rid of the Hyuga, he hated ever since the first time he saw him, but that was a mutual thing. For the moment he ignored the Uzumaki, since he was still far enough away and focussed his attention on the member of the rivalling clan. After performing a quick sequence of seals, Sasuke took a deep breath and blew a huge orb of flames at the Hyuga, watching with utter satisfaction, but still a blank face how the brown-haired man vanished inside the fireball.

"Neji!" Naruto screamed and created a bunch of bunshins, which at once stormed towards the Uchiha and began attacking him from all sides. The dark-haired man changed the direction of his jutsu by whirling around quickly, managing to fend off the first rows of Naruto's clones. However now he saw that Neji had created a shield around himself by releasing chakra out of all his chakra points simultaneously, while rotating in fast circles, so he had apparently taken no harm from his attack. His loath towards the Hyuga increased just all the more, but he couldn't give vent to his anger right now, because there was Naruto in the way.

He at once attacked him with his remaining shadow clones, but thanks to his Sharingan, Sasuke had no problems in distinguishing between them and the real one and he also managed to read their movements, even before they actually attacked so he didn't really have trouble with fighting them off, although by now he was running out of chakra, since he hasn't exactly been fit to begin with and then there was also the fight against those ANBU. Not to forget his hands. It must have happened as Naruto had attacked him with his Rasengan, but actually he had managed to resist it, so he didn't really know where the wounds came from, but now he noticed that Naruto's arms didn't look any different either.

Neji joined the fray now as well and they managed to corner the Uchiha, although the number of Naruto's bunshins was decreasing rapidly and they were slowly approaching a mere two on one situation again.

Sasuke kicked one of Naruto's clones away, which then crashed towards Neji and caused him to stumble backwards, but he caught himself and decided to take a short rest to breathe through and leave things to Naruto for a couple of seconds. While he did, he took a look at the other fights, seeing that Shino was kneeling on the ground, clutching a wound on his hip, whereas Suigetsu seemed more or less unharmed, but definitely exhausted. He was just about to take a sip of one of his water bottles, when Shino's insects surrounded it and congested the straw so he couldn't drink of it, which obviously vexed him.

Karin and Sayuri didn't seem to do so much better either. One side of Karin's head was covered with blood, apparently coming from her ear and one of her sleeves was entirely torn and the skin underneath it looked burned, so Sayuri had probably used a paper bomb to attack her, since she wasn't able to use katon jutsu. At the moment, his team-mate was running towards the redhead, but she limped with her right leg and Neji noticed a deep red blood stain in the middle of her thigh, but that seemed to be the only wound she had sustained, except for a few scratches at least. She had concentrated chakra into her hand, intending to use it as a chakra-scalpel, but as she had almost reached the other girl, Neji noticed that Karin had created a clone, which was sitting in a tree right above her, at the moment getting ready to jump down and attack.

"Sayuri!" He tried to warn her, but instead he seemed to lead her right into Karin's trap. After hearing her name, she looked up briefly and met his eyes, but before he could make her realize what was going on, Karin's clone already jumped off the branch and slammed both her fists into the back of her neck.

With a shocked face, Neji watched how his team-mate went down to the ground, before a sudden pain in his side, right under his armpit, caused him to turn his head around again.

"You shouldn't watch her when you're fighting me." Sasuke hissed in a cold voice and stared into Neji's pain contorted face.

The Hyuga tried his best to hold the eye contact, but then gazed past him after all to find out what happened to Naruto. He saw the blonde lie there on his side in a foetal position, with his arms tightly clutching his stomach and from the spasms that ran through his body, he figured that he wasn't able to breathe.

So that's the kind of person Sasuke was. His former best-friend and girlfriend got hurt and he didn't even care. Neji doubted that he had ever hated the Uchiha as much as he did in this second, but as he glared back at him again, he found that Sasuke's crimson red eyes were now focussed on the fight between Sayuri and Karin as well and if he wouldn't know it better he would say that he looked shocked.

Sayuri still didn't really know what happened. In one second she had been about to finish off with Karin, then Neji had called her and now she was here on the ground and there was grass between her teeth. She tried to spit it out, until she realized that it was pointless as long as her face was still on the ground, so she prepared to turn around, but in that second her neck sent a throbbing pain through her entire head and down her spine and there was so much pressure, that she was sure her skull wouldn't be able to resist it and would explode like a balloon in a vacuum. Therefore she remained perfectly still, hoping she could avoid the oncoming catastrophe this way, but then she felt something slide under her ribcage and a moment later she was lying on her back, with Karin's face swaying there above her like a mobile that already promised a night full of bad dreams.

"Finally…" Karin murmured in a shaky voice and eyed her with an eager face, before she started giggling, but that in combination with her worn-out voice made her only sound hysteric. The sound of her laughter gave Sayuri the creeps, so she tried to back away from her. She propped herself up on her elbows, so her upper body was off the ground, which meant there was a little less weight she'd have to drag and then she used her elbows and her feet to push herself to the back, realizing how every single bone in her body seemed to hurt and especially her stomach. Her stomach was suddenly seized with such a sharp pain that it took her breath away for a moment, it felt as if her guts were being churned inside her. She was a complete wreck and she couldn't even tell how it came to that.

With a desperate effort she tried to ignore all that and willed strength against the aching in her limbs and actually managed to move away from the redhead, who now looked like a lunatic giant. It seemed that regardless of how much effort she brought up, she didn't manage to get past snail pace and then she was forced to a complete stop as Karin slumped down on her legs and she felt much heavier than she looked like. There was a vicious smile on her face and not even a hint of mercy in her cold red eyes; not that she would have expected there to be any.

"Finally…" She repeated again in that unsteady and yet excited voice, before she held a kunai beside her own face, her smile only growing wider as she stared into the shocked face of her opponent, before she turned the kunai around, so its tip pointed at Sayuri's stomach.

From a distance she heard someone call Karin's name and then everything happened really fast. In one moment there was only the shining blade of the dagger and Karin's face, then it gave way to a blur of colours and shapes and then there was only a swirl of red. Then everything turned black.

…

…


	27. Tricky situation

**27.**** Tricky situation**

It was quiet.

So very quiet that you were tempted to believe your thoughts might break out of your head and reverberate through the room. Bouncing from wall to wall – your deepest secrets free for anyone to hear, but then there first had to be someone…

It was so quiet that even the faintest rustling of clothes, even the softest breathing sounds would have roared through the room like deafening thunder. But why didn't they?

_She_ was here after all – thinking therefore living and accordingly breathing as well, so how come there was no thunder? Where was the ear-splitting, crackling undertow of her mouth trying to inhale all the air there was in this room, the very substance of life?

She pried her eyes open, pushing away the darkness in front of them, only to find darkness of a different kind. No perfect darkness anymore – far worse – it was much colder and more oppressive. There was grey and green mixed into the blackness, like her vision had started moulding. But the sounds came back now. She could hear her frantic breathing, her panting, her attempts at filling her lungs with the humid, stale air, but the sound was terrifying…

There was a wheezing and everything was so hollow and muffled – she came to believe that it wasn't really her who was breathing. There was no sound coming from her – everything seemed to hover in the middle of the thick air, coming from anywhere but a fixed spot.

Only now that she heard these weird, retching sounds and tried to locate them, did she have to confess that it really was her own breathing or rather her attempts at breathing. There was a lump in her throat and her lips felt numb and she wondered if there was someone sitting on her chest, hidden in the dense darkness. After all she was taking short, rapid breaths so her chest would have to be heaving like she had just run a marathon, but it seemed perfectly still, or maybe it was moving so quickly that she didn't even notice it. What she knew was that her chest felt like bursting or maybe caving in, it was hard to tell, but if she wouldn't do anything soon, she was sure to choke. It took her a lot of effort, but she managed to roll on her side and somehow that made breathing easier, as if the imaginary and yet very real weight had dropped off her torso and was now no longer constricting her airways.

Everything lapsed into silence again; even the sounds of static seemed to restrain themselves out of mercy for the throbbing in her head. On a whole everything seemed very soft and mild, she'd even say well-disposed if she wasn't talking about a room here, which couldn't have any dispositions at all. Still everything seemed to just float around her, like she was in a dark water world, without any weights, edges or other solid things, nothing that could exacerbate the pain, but nothing that could ease it either.

Her head felt like it was full of cotton wool, which dulled the pulsing and everything but the pain centre part had shut down, but that didn't matter because the part of her brain that might care about being in pain, had a time out as well, so it was quite bearable.

In another situation, she might have been quite curious to learn more about this weird water room, but right now, her curiosity couldn't surpass her yearning to close her eyes and drift back into a comfortable state of inertia, some sort of respite for her brain cells, so they'd have the strength to find their way out of the haze surrounding them.

It felt nice in a way, somewhat light. Everything just stopped, like she had left her body behind somewhere and yet she could feel the restorative component of whatever condition she was in right now. As if she was out of reach of physical afflictions and personal demons and she wished she could stay there in the gentle darkness forever, but of course that didn't work.

Reality closed in on her again and it all came back now. Sounds, thoughts, feelings, fears – all the things she had managed to escape from for as long as that out-of-body experience had lasted. Her eyes fluttered open slowly and her surroundings gradually came into focus.

It was different than before. The room looked different. It wasn't that dark any more, not light either, but the walls were tinged with a vague copper shimmer and there was motion all around her. Shadows were scuttling across the walls, engaged in a spasmodic dance that forfeited every bit of gracefulness due to its galvanic quality. The motion kept her eyes from falling shut again and even managed to disperse the haze engulfing her brain far enough for her to think rationally again, which only led to confusion. Massive confusion.

She closed her eyes after all and allowed the past events to go into replay. Recalled their chase, all the efforts and then the fight. They had really found him. She hadn't really believed in it and right now she almost wished they hadn't, because what they had found sure didn't mesh with her visions – with her hopes of their reunion. She didn't even know how things had come off, the last thing she remembered was looking into Karin's hate-filled eyes, before they had yielded to a quite peculiar juxtaposition of colours and then she had woken up here.

Now curiosity overcame her after all and she forced her tired eyes open, trying to figure out where she was. Her face was turned towards the wall. A thick, dark-grey wall, composed of big stone blocks. The flickering light had to come from a candle in the opposite side of the room, so she slowly rolled around and rested the side of her face on the warm fabric of the thin pillow. The floor was made of stones, too and was uneven and dusty. The room seemed fairly big and there were the black outlines of four table legs in the middle of it.

She tilted her head a fraction and moved her eyes upwards, towards the source of the light, when she saw a pair of legs hang down from the table. After a first shock, since she had been utterly convinced that she was alone here, she guided her eyes farther up to find out who it was. All she saw was a shady silhouette though; the candle had to be behind him, so his features were bathed in complete darkness, but still she recognized him at once.

She was suddenly overcome by the urgent need to get up, to quit exposing herself in this frail, lying position. Actually getting up seemed to be out of the question though, so she had to content herself with merely sitting up, which was hard enough in itself. She pushed her upper body up with her hands, but then her left wrist was seized with a sharp pain, so she pulled it back quickly and used her left elbow instead. It seemed to take her ages to struggle into a sitting position and she at once leaned back against the wall, just to make sure she wouldn't slump back down again. Now that her head was a bit higher off the ground she had a slightly better view of her opposite.

He was sitting on top of the heavy table, with his hands resting on the metallic surface on either side of his hips. There were two tiny specks of light where his eyes had to be, which made her sure that he was looking at her, and she couldn't say that was a pleasant discovery.

Slowly but surely Sayuri's eyes grew accustomed to the darkness and it became easier for her to make out some details about her opposite's appearance. It really were his eyes that were reflecting some tiny points of light, although she didn't know where the light came from, since the candle was behind him and apart from that there wasn't any further illuminant, at least as far as she could tell. His face looked stern, his features hard and cold like granite, even his eyes resembled burned-out cinders and were lacking any human trait. He looked lifeless, or maybe just exhausted. There were bandages around his arms, his forehead and his visible skin was covered with quite some scrapes and bruises – remnants of the fight and yet he was just so still that she wasn't quite sure if it was really him or maybe a statue or some kind of scarecrow-thing that was supposed to keep her from getting up.

Why didn't he say anything? What did his silence mean and what was he doing here at all? Or more importantly what was she doing here at this unfamiliar place? Her head was close to bursting with these and yet more similar questions, but she wouldn't say anything and neither would he. They kept sitting in the darkness, his eyes focussed on hers and hers on his engulfed by a profound tension. The presence of something larger than either of them began usurping the room; if she'd have to guess, she'd say it was guilt.

"You're wounded…" She finally broke the silence, but her voice seemed so thin and feeble that she wasn't so sure if he had heard her at all.

"Hn." He nodded eventually, showing her that he was real after all, that he was really here with her in this room for who knows what reason. After he had left her, hurt her and destroyed every hope of a happy ending and after she had prepared to be all alone, he was here with her and that just didn't make sense.

"I hope it hurts."

For the fragment of a second the corners of his mouth were drawn up, before his face turned to stone again and he relapsed into that stifling silence.

"What is going on here?" She enquired in a hoarse voice and began to register a subtle pain throughout her body, but it was more like a soft pulsing, using every beating of her heart to remind her of its presence. "Where are we and what happened to the others?"

He remained mute like falling snow, burying her questions under a white heap of silence, until the stillness was so perfect that it made her wonder if she had ever broken it. It would make about just as much sense as everything else. Still his lack of response worried her a little, or rather the fact that it gave her time to come up with more and more questions, especially about what happened to her team – his old friends – gave her reason to worry.

She remembered that Suigetsu had joined him, which didn't necessarily mean he was okay, but his betrayal made her indifferent about him anyway, but what about Neji, Shino and Naruto? When Sasuke was unharmed, or well… alive at least, did that mean that they weren't? Did these two options exclude one another? Like an antonym: Sasuke alive equals Naruto, Neji and Shino dead and the other way around, but since he was clearly standing here, alive and well, there was no other way… She had no idea, but he did and yet he wouldn't tell and rather left her to torture herself about it, have her go through yet more pain than she had already endured thanks to him, for the mere fun of it.

She was beginning to wonder what she had ever seen in him. He had said to Naruto that he hadn't changed and that he had been like this all along… That he had always been this cold and callous person, he had only shown them from time to time and yet they had rather taken that one for his false self. What a good act he had put up, good enough to fool them all for more than a year, until he had apparently gotten tired of pretending to be a nice guy and this is what it led to… But still it didn't make sense. In case the others were dead, why was she here then? Had he been unable to bring himself to kill her, or was it just because she had been unconscious and he wanted to look into her eyes while doing it?

At the moment she would actually think him capable of that and she could feel a wave of nausea built up in her as she thought about how she had spent an entire year with this person, had even imagined a future with him and then how much she had suffered after he had left her. That she had actually cried her eyes out for him and had at times been so depressed that she hadn't thought she'd come up with the strength and the will power to even leave her bed. He didn't even deserve a single one of all the tears she had wasted on him and she grew more and more bitter as she finally saw the person she had fallen in love with for who he really was.

"I'm talking to you." She said in a much louder voice, but it was about just as shaky as all her limbs, which she hadn't even realized yet.

"When did you plan on telling me about it?" Sasuke hissed after a while, his voice and his expression so very cold that it sent chills up and down her spine and made her guts twist, so she wrapped her arms tightly around herself, trying to press against the tremors to make them stop or at least hide them from those cruel eyes of his.

"About what?" She asked feebly, curiosity giving her the incentive to overcome the paralysing effect of his intimidating glare and form a coherent, though rather short question after all.

"Tze… you make me sick." He snarled and pushed himself off the table, before he turned around to leave the room without deigning to look at her again. With a resounding bang the door slammed shut, causing the walls and floor to vibrate slightly and then she was alone again.

What was he so mad about? If someone had a reason to be mad then it was her and yet she didn't slam around with doors here… Although if she could she probably would, but right now she was just too tired and exhausted for doing anything and since he was finally gone, she no longer had to struggle to keep sitting, so she carefully let herself down on the saggy futon with the flat pillow and the far too thin blanket and was asleep already, before she could even wonder what his whole behaviour had been about.

…

…

The sun was beginning to set and it was late spring already, which meant it was relatively late. Everything looked the same as it had this morning, before they had set out. The forest was engulfed in shadows and faint wisps of mist were rising up from the subjacent terrains, like all the hollows in the ground were seething cauldrons.

Everything was quiet now and the animals were reclaiming their territories, after the noise this morning had frightened them away. Against what they believed, they weren't all among themselves again – on the contrary. Hundreds of blonde men, dressed in rather conspicuous black and orange clothes were scurrying through the numerous trees, since hours now, while their number was gradually decreasing. Exhaustion was clearly visible in every single one of their identical faces and yet they didn't even think of taking a rest, not to mention giving up. He wasn't a quitter, regardless of how tired or exhausted he might be, as long as he could still stay on his feet, he would carry on, even if it meant pushing his body past its limits and using up his chakra to absolute zero. He wasn't so very far from that anyway, but since his real body was in good care it didn't really matter.

Naruto's clones were more or less everywhere. They were scattered all across the vast forest, searching every single spot for about the twentieth time already and some had advanced to the barren land surrounding it, the area that much rather looked like a part of the Land of Earth, they were at the moment passing through – or not passing through… Now they knew that this was the place they had been searching in the last days, although they hadn't so much searched this place but rather the persons they had finally found here, but then lost again. And not only that… apart from the two people they had been supposed to retrieve they had also lost two members of their team, so things had passed anything but smoothly and that after he had been so excited about finally having found them.

From the second they had met them everything had gone wrong. First Sasuke's talk about severing his connections with the Leaf Village, then Suigetsu's betrayal and then the course of the entire fight… They had all gotten hurt, there was a haematoma on his stomach that was bigger than his head and he was sure that at least one or two of his ribs had to be broken, which led to a shortness of breath from time to time and quite some pain of course. Shino had sustained a deep cut on the height of his hip, which made it nearly impossible for him to walk and then Neji had been pierced in his side, luckily between his ribs, which didn't make it any less painful, though, it would just heal a little more quickly. However they were all put out of commission, which was anything but good, because of the next complication during their fight, which would be Sayuri. He hadn't seen too much of what happened then, since he had been too busy with lying on the ground and keeping his guts from falling out of his stomach, but he had at least heard something and Neji had told him the rest then.

Sayuri had been knocked out by Karin and she had just been about to finish off with her, when Sasuke had stopped her. After that he had rushed towards them and picked Sayuri up, before he had told Suigetsu to draw back. Shino who had been the only one who had still been able to do something had sent his insects after them, but Sasuke had used a body flicker technique, in order to get away from them unseen, however not before he had used a fire jutsu to get rid of Shino's bugs. His plan seemed to have worked out. They were gone without a trace. Shino didn't have enough insects left to search them and since he had run out of chakra he couldn't shorten the reproduction time of the few ones he still had left, which meant waiting. Their other tracking specialist, which was Neji wasn't in any condition to make use of his Kekkei Genkai either – staying conscious seemed to be troublesome enough for him, which is why he left it.

The three of them were still there in the meadow, where they had fought against Sasuke and his team. They had taken care of their injuries as best as they could – luckily a gauze bandage belonged to the usual ninja-equipment – and now they were using every stone or root there was to find a comfortable position to sit or lie, while Naruto's shadow clones did the work for them.

He didn't have any special abilities that made him a good tracker, but he tried to make up for that by increasing his number, hoping that by covering the entire area he would have to find them sooner or later, since they couldn't just vanish off the face of the earth – that jutsu didn't count. Besides they have been wounded as well, so they couldn't be this quick either, so he might still have a chance of finding them, especially if you took into consideration that they'd probably rest for the night and as long as he wouldn't, he should be able to make up for the lead they had gained, while he had still been more unconscious than not. It had taken him more than an hour to come round and in that time none of them had done anything, which is why he had to hurry now.

"Enough Naruto." Neji murmured in a worn out voice, apparently having woken up again, but the Uzumaki didn't even think of following his request or probably order. He kept sitting there on a stone, trying to calm down and will strength into his body, just so that he could keep up his jutsu. Even if he had wanted to, he couldn't have actively participated in the search, at least not anymore, but that wasn't so very surprising considering that his search operation had started about eight hours ago.

"Naruto." The Hyuga repeated in a decisive voice and watched how the blonde now finally opened his eyes and at least paid attention to him. "You've reached your limits, it would neither do you nor us any good if you keep going until you collapse."

"I won't. I have to…" Naruto stammered and wiped his sleeve across his sweaty forehead and then the rest of his face as well, since he was dripping all over.

"Even if you should manage to find them, what happens then?" Neji raised an eyebrow and slumped farther down, adjusting his body to the shape of the tree he was leaning at. "They'll get rid of your bunshins in an instant and we aren't in any condition to take up the chase again. You'd only warn them and make them take off again and who knows when we'd find them then."

"But. I. Have. To." Naruto pressed out through gritted teeth and squeezed his eyes shut as drops of sweat ran into them. Maybe Neji was right. They weren't anywhere near and he wouldn't have the strength now to cover longer distances and neither did they.

"Damn it." Naruto hissed and did a quick motion with his fingers, before he sunk down and took a few deep breaths. The second all of his shadow clones had vanished he had not only gotten to know everything they had managed to find out in the whole time, but he was also hit by their concentrated exhaustion, which caused everything in front of him to go black for a moment, but at least he hadn't passed out.

"But we have to do something…" He stammered after a while and opened his glazed eyes, trying his best to focus them on the Hyuga.

"We need to cure our injuries first and my insects suffered a severe loss, it'll take time for them to recover." Shino murmured, his voice sounding almost the same way it always did, only his crouched posture gave away his exhaustion.

"Shino is right." Neji nodded, although he barely moved his head. "We'll seek the closest village and look for medical aid there, now that our medic-nin is gone…"

"Our _medic-nin_? You are talking about Sayuri here!" Naruto sat up and gave Neji a disgruntled look, not liking at all how detached he sounded as he talked about their friend.

"That's who she was, after all-"

"_Was_?" Naruto interrupted him again, his eyes as wide as saucers, which you shouldn't think possible considering how swollen they were.

"Is." Neji corrected himself. "I'm the team-leader; I have to see things from a practical point of view and at the moment she is not here."

"I really feel like punching you right now, Neji." Naruto hissed in a low, shaky voice and clenched his equally shaky fists.

"Do you think this is easy for me? She is my friend too, but this isn't the time for personal matters. We need to think rationally through all this."

"Hmpf." Naruto snorted and looked to the side sulkily, before he gave the Hyuga a half-hearted nod.

"You have the best knowledge of our surroundings, so I trust you to lead us to the closest village." Neji murmured and used the tree for support as he struggled to his feet, before he glanced at Shino, who hadn't moved whatsoever in the last hours and still didn't do so.

"Shino?" The Hyuga raised an eyebrow, suddenly worried about his team-mate's condition. He had hardly uttered two sentences in all the time and he was just sitting there with one hand on the tourniquet on his hip.

"Hm." He merely gave a meaningless sound and turned his head to the side and the two other members of his team really didn't know what to make of his reaction and just exchanged some puzzled looks.

"Any objections?" The brown-haired man enquired, but still didn't receive an answer, but apparently Naruto seemed to have an idea now.

"Oh!" He exclaimed and slowly rose to his feet, before he walked towards the Aburame and bowed down in front of him.

"You should have just asked." He gave him a faint smile and reached for Shino's arm, which he then put around his shoulders, before he carefully helped him get up. "There isn't really anything close by, so we'll have to go back to the village we passed through yesterday."

"Hm." Neji nodded pensively and thought through the entire situation again, before he sighed wearily. "Okay, it is impossible to get there before nightfall, but we should hurry nevertheless. It will be much harder to find medical attendance in the middle of the night. People in such small localities are usually very distrustful."

"Then it's probably good that we talked to them already, we've questioned nearly the entire village, so they should know us." Naruto said and already started leading the way, although with Shino hanging there on his shoulder, he wasn't even nearly as quick as he wanted to be. He could propose to carry him, but he probably wouldn't make it past ten metres, before he'd collapse like an overloaded donkey.

"They know you, not us, but you are right, it might be of advantage." Neji said quietly and trudged after his team-mates, barely able to keep up with them although he didn't have to carry anyone and didn't walk with a limp either.

"Naruto?" Shino raised his voice after a while and caused the blonde to tilt his head into his direction.

"Yes?" He raised an eyebrow as the Aburame didn't carry on and wondered why he looked so overly stiff at the moment – even more than he usually did.

"Thank you." He muttered awkwardly and gazed to the side, while a surprised smile found its way into Naruto's face.

"Never mind, Shino." The blonde smiled and shook his head. "Never mind."

…

…

She didn't know what it was that had managed to wake her from the coma-like state, exhaustion had thrown her into, but it's not like it mattered, because whether or not she knew why, she was awake, when she would rather not be. Her body clearly told her that it wasn't time yet to be awake, whereas her head didn't have much to say to the whole thing, which is probably what made her so sure that she actually ought to be asleep still. Maybe she could just go back to that deep, dream-free sleep that had kept her mind indifferent to everything around her for the last, who knows how long. But that didn't work. It was too late for that now.

The very same questions from before plus some new ones managed to get her brain to work and she could feel how the fear and the uncertainties flooded a deluge of adrenaline through her body, so how could she possibly go back to sleep? Not only had she gotten no answers to her previous questions, but now she had no answers to the new ones either. What did Sasuke mean when he asked when she had planned on telling him? Had he expected her to warn him in advance that they were searching him?

Highly unlikely, he must have known they'd come sooner or later, he had even said that he was surprised that they had been this quick, so that couldn't be it, but what was it then? At the moment this was all she could think of. Just one idea. Almost ridiculous, considering how much time she had invested on mulling over this thing by now. And why had he been so angry? He was the one who was keeping her imprisoned here, so what reason had he to be mad about?

It's not like he needed any big, profound reasons; lately it had been enough to look at him askance. So maybe that was it, maybe the way she had looked at him or the tone in her voice had ruined his day and that's why he had reacted the way he had. Maybe it really was that simple. Either way, she had more important things to think about right now. Just what happened to the rest of her team? She didn't really want to imagine that Sasuke had killed them, that he had actually brought himself to killing the people who were supposed to be his friends. But just because she didn't want to imagine it didn't keep these pictures from popping up in her head. And it wasn't only Sasuke; Karin and Suigetsu had been there as well and they certainly didn't have any qualms about killing someone.

This damn Suigetsu, they should have known that they couldn't trust him. It was just something about him. He was loyal to no one but himself – not even to Sasuke, regardless of what he had said. As he had pointed out, they were of little use to them, whereas with Sasuke that was apparently different, at least for the time being, which is why he had turned on them. He had probably planned that from they very start and had only used them, since alone his chances of finding him would have been rather slim. He hadn't even been much of a help to them and had leaned back, while they had done the work for him. Like he was some sort of parasite and she had actually thought she was beginning to like him… Now he could sure forget about that. It's not like he cared about it anyway, but still…

She wondered if he was here, too. It would make sense, after all he was with Sasuke and Sasuke was obviously here, so the Houzuki sure wasn't far away and not only him… Karin was probably here, too. As it seemed the redhead had taken her place. It must have been like a dream come true for her, after she had thrown herself at him for the last years, but had been pushed away each and every single time – at least as far as she could tell… Now he had apparently stopped pushing her away and although that should probably bother her it didn't.

They really deserved each other. He probably needed someone whose attention was as focussed on him as his own one, someone he could treat like a household slave, someone who wouldn't deny him any of his requests, would put up with his every mood and someone who would grant him his desire to have children.

She was tired of thinking about him, just as tired as of thinking about this whole thing in general and than being awake of course. However she couldn't change anything about that now, so she decided to do the most obvious thing in her situation, which would be planning her escape.

She opened her eyes slowly and tilted her head to the side a little, seeing that the one candle on the table had almost burned down by now, so she should hurry before she'd be left to search this room in complete darkness.

Carefully she sat up, not doing the mistake again to prop herself up with her left hand, which was, as she now noticed, covered with a thick layer of bandages. She kept sitting like that for a while, hanging her head while waiting for her circulation to stabilize, which took quite some time. Once she was sure that every vital part of her body was supplied with enough blood, she used the rough wall to grope her way into a standing position. Not wanting to overstrain herself, she pressed her eyes shut and again waited some time, just to be on the safe side.

It was again perfectly quiet, but this time she really was alone here, unless there was no one hidden in one of the numerous shadowy corners and niches, which seemed to make up seventy percent of the entire room. No surprise, considering that there was only a single candle, which was there to illuminate it.

She let her eyes roam through the darkness, her gaze always drawn to the flickering flame, the only source of motion anywhere near. There was some kind of reflection in the air right above it, but she had no idea what it was, which is what made her come up with the motivation to start moving and test her tired limbs, which felt a bit weird, as if they weren't so sure if they were a part of her body or not, especially her legs seemed to opt for a not. Still she just ignored the tingling numbness and that alienated feeling and made her way to the heavy table in the centre of the room.

A sudden gust of wind, caused by her movement, nearly made the candle go off, but that didn't matter, since Sayuri now noticed a lonely light bulb hang there right above the table. There was a thin cord swinging beside it, so she pulled at it and with an electric buzzing the light came on, faster and brighter than she would have anticipated, which is why she hadn't been able to look away in time. Since her eyes had gotten used to the darkness, the sudden brightness blinded her for a moment, like there were two black coins on her eyes and she could only see what was beyond their edges, which was definitely not much, but it became better after two minutes or so…

As soon as she had regained her sight, she scrutinized the room again, which looked entirely different due to the mere change of lighting. It didn't look as spacious as before, it wasn't small either, just a little more compact. There wasn't any furniture except for the table and the futon she had been lying on, which was set in some sort of niche in the wall, which she oddly enough hadn't really noticed as she had still been lying there. Apart from that there was just a lot of stone and dust and then the heavy wooden door of course, but no window or ventilation shaft or anything of that sort. She didn't even waste a thought on hoping that the door might be unlocked, although she clearly felt the urge to at least try it, which she then did, but of course it was locked. How else could it be?

With frustration clearly visible in her face, Sayuri turned around again and now saw that there was some kind of separating wall in the opposite side of the room, about two metres in length, but because of its position and the shadows she hadn't been able to make it out up to now. She gave up on rattling at the door handle and slowly scuffed to the separated section of the room. With her hand resting on the outermost edge of the cold stone wall, she peered around it, seeing that it was some kind of bathroom area.

There was a toilet, a sink and a tiny, cracked mirror hanging above it and although it should have probably relieved her to know that in case she would have to relieve herself, she wouldn't have to hammer at the door until someone let her out or worse even do it in an exposed corner of the room, but actually had a real, even clean looking toilet, it still unsettled her a little. The fact that they had locked her in a room with a toilet and not just some shabby shed – although this room was anything but nice, too – somehow made it seem like she was out for a longer stay here… Maybe she was just attaching too much importance to this actually very considerate gesture, but after what happened she didn't expect to be treated nicely, so this bit of kindness just had to be a bad sign.

With a sceptical face she took some slow steps towards the sink and saw that there was also a lamp above it, so she switched it on, this time careful not to stare right into the 1000 watt bulb, before she turned the water on. She nearly expected a brown sludge to come out of the faucet, but the water was really clean and so was the sink – except for the dust, especially in the area in front of the door, it was really clean here in general, which was at least something – although it didn't manage to make up for the fact that she was still locked in here for who knows what reason.

She put a hand under the streaming water and looked at it for a while, before she cupped some of it in her open hand and smelled at it sceptically, but it passed the test, no stale stench. Although she was reluctant to do this, which you could easily tell from the disgusted grimace on her face, she bowed down to drink, since her throat felt awfully dry. It tasted so good, even if it would have been stagnant, she probably wouldn't have cared, all that mattered was, that it quenched her thirst and it clearly did the job, just as well as the most expensive spring water would have done.

With a sigh, she turned the water off again and caught a glimpse of a bucket and a somewhat familiar heap beside the sink, as she was just about to lift her head. She crouched down and realized that it was her backpack and its contents, which have obviously been searched through. Her leggings were lying on top of it and it was just then that she realized that she didn't wear them any longer which might explain why it was so chilly. Instead there was just a bandage all across her right thigh, where she had been wounded by Karin. She picked up the black bundle which hardly passed for a piece of clothing any more and noticed that one of the legs was ripped or probably cut off, but so high up that she couldn't really wear them any longer – not that she usually ran around with one-legged pants, but still. Just good that her kimono was long enough – if she had worn some normal pants and a top, things would look much worse for her now. She dropped the black rag again and looked into her bag. There wasn't much in it any longer, just her toothbrush, some food, fresh clothes, a comb and a towel – no trace of her weapons, scrolls or her medical supplies, not even her key was left – as if she could use it as a weapon.

So now she sat here, with curled lips and just didn't know what to do. It didn't seem like there was a way out of this room – although it probably was a little early to give up just yet, but she was tired and aching and although all she wanted was to lie down again, she forced herself to carry on examining the room more thoroughly, although she was quite sure that in case Sasuke didn't want her to get out of here, then she most likely wouldn't, but even if she should be able to, what happened then? This room had to be part of a building – the building which was almost certainly their hideout for the moment, so they were here, accordingly merely escaping this room didn't automatically mean being free – although it was a first step into that direction… But then there was Karin still; even if she should be able to get out of this building undetected, she'd be able to track her if she wanted. But maybe she didn't want it… She could just hope that Karin hated her enough to not even want her anywhere near her or more importantly him.

She stepped back into the open part of the room and fumbled along the wall, hoping to maybe find a loose brick or even some kind of secret passage, but of course she didn't. She was just about to give up again, when she suddenly heard some weird tune. Some kind of melody, sounding like a flute or a harmonica or maybe a clarinet…

What was that supposed to be now? Was this some sort of ambient music that was supposed to make the atmosphere seem a little less oppressive and gloomy? Was it even there or was this just an emergency signal of her brain to finally take a rest? It made her feel kind of awkward, but still she walked towards the door and pressed her ear against its cool surface and she was almost sure it was real. It even sounded as if the flute player was sitting right on the other side of the door; she was convinced that there was someone.

"Who is this?" She asked and couldn't keep a frown from appearing on her face. Although she was probably all alone it still made her feel stupid to talk to a door, which wouldn't give her any answer.

"Hey?" She asked again and pounded at it lightly, since she didn't have the strength for pounding heavily, but the music just carried on and she was denied any clear answer and yet she was still sure that she could sense someone there, only an inch away. She sunk down on her knees and bowed down, until her head was resting on the ground, her eyes focussed on the narrow gap under the door, but apart from some light she couldn't see anything, no shapes or shadows, just nothing, there was no one there and still she heard the music, and what a nice melody it was.

She really should go to sleep now, but now she was lying already, and the futon was so very far away and the ground here was probably just as good as it and then she better heard the music from here and it really did have a lulling quality… Maybe it was a Genjutsu or really just some automatic, ambient music and the fact that it played now had to mean that it was night, so there should be nothing wrong with letting it guide her into the land of sleep. And that's what she did then, lying curled up like a cat in front of the door, lulled by the soothing music of a non-existence flute player, forcing back the light by closing her eyes, lying and shivering there alone in the dark.

…

…

As predicted it had already been dark when they had finally reached the village Naruto had led them to. The streets have already been deserted then, so they had gone to the first building with lighted windows that was, from the sound of it, full with people.

It had turned out as a pub and after a quick talk with the host, he had led them to a doctor who happened to sit at one of the numerous full tables. He had been a bit tipsy, but one look at them had told him not to waste any time, so he had led them to his office, which was luckily only three doors away and had started treating them. He had wondered how they had managed to walk at all, but they've had no answer to that, because quite frankly they didn't know it either.

It had taken him two hours to take care of their wounds as best as he could and had told them to rest for at least three days. They had all agreed of course, when in reality they knew that they didn't have the luxury to just lie around and do nothing. Time wasn't on their side, which didn't mean they could set off right away.

He had asked them quite some questions, only casually of course, about what happened to them and all, but they had evaded any clear answers and after some time that must have worried him a little. He had ceased talking after a while and had always switched his eyes around, so he wouldn't miss anything they did, like coming at him from behind and stabbing him maybe.

He had seemed really glad once he had finished tending to them and had sent them out at once, telling them he needed sleep and so did they and before they might have had the chance to ask him for a place to stay, he had slammed the door shut in front of them.

It hadn't really surprised them, not in consideration of how obviously paranoid he had grown over the time and it hadn't offended them either, since he had given them a free treatment after all and that was all they could have asked for. Still they weren't so sure of what to do now.

They stood there in the darkness, feeling the temperature drop lower and lower, which their tired limbs registered just all the more and actually they had just been about to go back to that pub, so they could at least spend the night at a warm place, when suddenly one of the upper windows of his office swung open and they saw their doctor stick his head out through it.

"There is a hotel, right over there." He pointed at a house on the opposite side of the street. "They take in guests till late at night, just tell them I sent you."

"Thanks a lo-" Naruto was just about to express his gratitude to their doctor, when he latched the window shut again and even turned out the light in his room. "What a weird man…"

"You shouldn't talk like that about the people who help you when you are in need." Neji lectured him in a calm voice and only caused the Uzumaki to roll his eyes, before the three of them commenced their way to the small hotel that would hopefully become their refuge for this night.

After knocking at the door and peering through one of the curtained windows to see that there really was light on the other side of it, they backed away a little, as the door was suddenly opened.

"Yes?" A woman with greyish-brown hair and a deep voice peered through the narrow door crack.

"We are searching for a place to stay for the night." Neji explained in a clear voice, but the elderly woman only raised an eyebrow and eyed them suspiciously over the small chain which kept the door from opening any further.

"What do three young lads stroll around in the middle of the night?"

"We were-" Naruto started but was then interrupted by the cyclopean woman.

"Hey I know you!" She exclaimed suddenly and focussed her full attention on the blonde, trying to place him. "You were here yesterday. With the pictures."

"Yes! That's right!" Naruto grinned at her and waited for her to finally open the door, but as it seemed they still hadn't managed to remove her doubts.

"What happened to the girl? There was a girl with you, wasn't there?"

"Yes, but she-"

"-she is staying somewhere else." Neji finished his answer, before he might give the woman more information than she ought to have.

"Hmm…" She squinted her one visible eye and scrutinized them suspiciously, before she shut the door in their faces.

"Hey! You can't do that!" Naruto wailed and knocked again, but then they heard a soft clicking, and after that she opened the door, showing him that she had two eyes after all.

"Come in then, quickly, before you bring in the cold air." She shooed them inside and at once closed the door behind them again. "Goodness what have you gotten into?"

The light revealed all the wounds and bandages the darkness had kept hidden and which would have made her think twice about letting them into her home, but she wasn't brave or heartless enough to throw them out now either.

"The terrain is unpredictable. We've had some trouble with making our way, so we came back here at last." The Hyuga explained, not exactly lying, but leaving out too much to call his statement truthful, but it's not like it was any of her concerns.

"Hm." Her eyebrow twitched slightly and she curled her lips, not seeming to believe him. "We have two free rooms and this is no charity organisation, you'll have to pay."

"That goes without saying." Neji murmured and pulled a generous amount of money out of his wallet and put it on the reception. "One room will do."

"As you wish." Her eyes started sparkling as she saw the money and all her qualms seemed to have been removed in an instant and she was all sweet and courteous now. After bowing slightly she led them upstairs into their room and prepared three futons for them, before she vanished after bidding them a good night.

"Phew… people here are queer in general, huh? That has to have something to do with the size of a village, I mean Konoha is huge and there people are-"

"Give it a rest, Naruto." Neji interrupted his stream of words and slumped down on his bed, not able to comprehend how he still had the energy to babble away like that.

"Pfft." The blonde snorted and looked from Neji to Shino, who were now both lying in their beds and were sure to be asleep in less than three seconds, so he'd have to be quick if he wanted to talk to them about what he had on his mind.

"We won't rest for three days, will we?"

"… No…" Neji sighed after a while, not happy about his own words, because resting was what he wanted to do most, although he very well knew that it wasn't possible, which is why it was so bad.

"Phew… So we'll take up the search tomorrow morning, right?" The Uzumaki asked and sat down on his own futon, but didn't dare to lie down yet, because he'd probably fall asleep on the spot.

"… No…" Neji sighed again, once more unhappy about his own answer, because he knew what was going to come next.

"What?" Naruto shrieked. "But we have to!"

"No, Naruto. We can't stand up to the situation. Things have gotten completely out of hand. As it is there is nothing we can do so we'll have to go back to Konoha."

Naruto didn't even know what to say to this and left it at shaking his head, with his mouth and his eyes wide open until he finally recovered his voice again.

"We can't go back to Konoha!" He shook his head again and watched how Neji propped himself up on his elbows, although it seemed to cause him a lot of trouble. "You know what will happen when they get to know that he hadn't been kidnapped?"

"I do and it's just what he deserves. You heard him; he severed his connections with Konoha and-"

"But that's it!" Naruto interrupted him. "What he said hardly made any sense. He is probably confused and doesn't even know what he is talking about himself, but what's worse is he thinks he does, so we have to find him, before he can delve any deeper into his stupid fanaticism."

"I don't think he was confused." Shino murmured in a low, worn-out voice, showing them that he wasn't asleep yet either. "He seemed determined, only his last action didn't fit into the picture."

"You are wrong." Naruto said in a calmer voice and looked at his knees. "He's uncertain. I felt it." He nodded resolutely and looked up again.

"_Felt it_?" Neji raised an eyebrow and lay down again, since he no longer had the strength to support himself any longer.

"Yes." Naruto nodded again and leaned back against the wall behind him. "Sasuke told me once that when two shinobi fight, they can read each other's mind the moment their fists meet." He gazed into the air thoughtfully before he looked down at his arms, which were now covered with bandages, after his skin had been torn to shreds due to the combined force of his Rasengan and Sasuke's Chidori. "And that's what happened and I felt it. I felt that he was indecisive. I felt his turmoil. It's not too late yet. If we hurry we might make him change his mind."

"We can't base our decision on something you felt." Neji objected, always sticking to the rational side, as was his job as team-leader, although personally he had some doubts about that.

"There's proof."

"Proof?"

"Yes. You are the proof." Naruto rested his arms on his drawn-up knees and pointed at the wound on Neji's side. "You have been entirely distracted. He could have easily killed you in that moment, but he didn't even go for a vital point."

"That doesn't have to mean anything." The Hyuga narrowed his pale eyes and rested a hand on his chest, letting it run over the rough bandages, while a grim expression appeared on his face.

"Even if. We'd need at least four or five days to get to Konoha and he still has Sayuri, so there is no time to go back. Danzô's men are still somewhere out there. We can't let them find them first." Naruto argued and looked at his team-mates expectantly, the thoughtful expressions on their faces telling him that he might have gotten through to them, so he added: "This time they wouldn't be unprepared again. They'd kill them right away – including Sayuri, so we just have to find them first."

"We can't handle them alone. We would run headfirst into our own demise and dead we'd be of no use to anyone." The Hyuga murmured in a low voice, although he really wanted to do as Naruto said, but their physical condition wouldn't allow that and unlike the blonde he realized that, so going to Konoha, informing Tsunade about everything and letting her sent out another, better prepared team would be the best they could do at the moment.

"Then we'll ask for support. Not in Konoha – it would take more than a week before they'd get here, but…" He gnashed his teeth and gazed to the side, not so sure what he wanted to say himself. They couldn't ask for help in Konoha, not only would it take far too long, but then they'd also know what happened and that was unacceptable…

"I can send a message." Shino said and at once drew all eyes to him. "My insects recovered sufficiently, I can send them out to search for the closest team they can find and lead them to us."

"You can?" Naruto's blue eyes widened as much as they possibly could and scrutinized the kind of miserable and definitely exhausted looking figure of his team-mate.

"Hm." He nodded and lifted his hand and in that second a swarm of tiny insects flew out of his sleeve. "If I have the permission of our team-leader."

Now all eyes were focused on Neji, but he just stared at the cracks in the ceiling, the way other people would stare at an insolvable riddle, until he sighed wearily and finally nodded his assent, although he was obviously reluctant to do so.

"Awesome, then how do you do that, Shino?" Naruto asked with a grin on his face, seeming not even nearly as tired and worn out as the rest of his team.

"I have a tincture." The Aburame explained and pulled said item out of his bag. "I only need to write the message I want to send on a surface and my insects will attach to it, memorize the formation and carry it to anyone I tell them to, as long as the journey doesn't exceed an interval of 24 hours." While speaking Shino had already started writing his message on the wall beside him, so he wouldn't have to get up and since that tincture was luckily transparent they wouldn't get into trouble with the lady of the house.

"And that's it?" Naruto asked and watched with awe how all the insects sat down on the wall and now formed letters, but before he had the chance to read them, they already flew past him and out of the half-open window.

"Yes. That's it."

"Man, I think I love you Shino." Naruto grinned in relief, but when he opened his eyes he saw how the Aburame looked at him with an apparently shocked face, at least as far as he could tell.

"Err… thank you Naruto-kun." He stammered uneasily and lay down on his futon with his back turned towards them and although Naruto feared that he had probably misunderstood what he had said and attached far more importance to it, he just shook his head with a disbelieving grimace and lay down as well, since even though he had been quite successful in pretending to do well, he clearly didn't and needed the sleep just as badly as his two team-mates, who were by now both snoring lightly.

…

…


	28. Shocking revelation

**28. Shocking revelation**

Bright rays of sunlight were creeping through the open window, carrying the warmth of the late spring day along with them. From the position of the sun, it was afternoon already, but the people inside the small but crowded hotel room seemed to mistake it for bedtime. There was one exception though. A blonde shinobi was sitting on the low windowsill, his tired eyes constantly switching from the crowds in the street to his sleeping team-mates and back again.

He had tried to wake them already, but other than some annoyed grumbling he hadn't gotten any reaction. That wasn't surprising, though. They both seemed to do really bad, especially Shino. He was just lying there and shivering. At first Naruto had thought he was having a nightmare and had used that as an excuse to wake him up, but it hadn't worked and then he had realized that the Aburame was running a fever. He had at once put a wet piece of cloth on his forehead and then checked Neji's temperature as well, just to make sure that he wasn't out cold, too, but luckily he wasn't – he was just awfully tired.

Actually Naruto had thought about going out a bit, since he was feeling more or less okay again and couldn't stand just sitting around here, but he was afraid that the others might wake up while he was gone and would have to delay their search because of his absence. If it was up to him, he'd set out at once, but that would get him in quite some trouble with Neji and quite frankly there wasn't too much he could do by himself, so he would have to wait, whether he wanted to or not. But if he'd have to wait for them, they'd probably stay here for three days after all – he could just hope that Shino's bugs would find someone soon. If he was lucky there was even a tracker among them and they could take up the chase right away. Hopefully it weren't some overly correct upholder of moral standards, who wouldn't do anything without the explicit permission of the Hokage. There were more than enough of these people in the Leaf Village – especially among the elderly people, which was to him pretty much everyone who had exceeded the age of thirty.

A sound coming from one of the sleeping people raised both Naruto's curiosity as well as his hopes, but to his great disappointment the two shinobi just kept on sleeping and so the blonde lapsed back into his thoughts, since that was everything he could do at the moment to fight the boredom. He really wasn't good at entertaining himself – he wondered how he had actually managed to do so for the past two hours in which he had been awake. He tried to kill time by looking out of the window, but the village was really small and there wasn't much going on outside, nothing like Konoha's streets… There seemed to be more motion in the dust on the windowsill he was sitting on.

He grimaced in frustration and started drumming his fingers impatiently on the hard wood underneath him, while his features hardened and then softened again and he just didn't know what to do, other than being upset by the fact that he didn't know it.

"Calm down, Naruto." Neji sighed and pulled his blanket over his head, trying to shield his ears from the clicking caused by Naruto's fingernails.

"You're awake!" Naruto's expression brightened at once as he stared at what little there was to see of his team-leader.

"Hm." Neji grumbled, showing him that he would rather not have it stay that way, but the Uzumaki was determined not to let him fall asleep again.

"It's already four o'clock – we need to finally take off!"

"Not everyone heals as quickly as you do, Naruto." The Hyuga murmured and pulled his blanket down so he could look at the blonde, who definitely looked far more vital than he did. "We not only have to recover from our injuries, but also from the soldier pills."

"But we don't have time to wait!" Naruto exclaimed, feeling just as frustrated as the other times he had said that already. "We can't expect them to take a break as well, so they could be who knows where already!"

"I doubt so." Neji sighed and at once caused a startled expression to appear on Naruto's face, so he explained: "They now have Suigetsu and Sayuri with them and they are most likely in the same condition as we are, so they cannot move too quickly either."

"But still…" Naruto gnashed his teeth and looked out of the window again, which Neji at once saw as his chance to go back to sleep again.

He knew that Neji was right, there was no point in denying that – one look at the two told him that they were in no condition to set out yet, but just because he knew and more or less accepted that, didn't mean he wasn't unhappy about it.

He kept sitting at the open window and stared at the passing clouds, his mind wandering off along with them, yearning for clarity or a solution or any kind of comfort or assurance that might help him get over the waiting time without losing his head. He wasn't made for just sitting around and doing nothing – it contradicted every fibre of his being and yet he'd have to submit to it. What else was there to do?

"Naruto!"

He twitched lightly as he was ripped out of his reverie and looked around confusedly, until his attention was drawn to a small group of people, standing on the street right under his window.

"Kiba!" He smiled excitedly and leaned out of the window. "Lee, Tenten!"

"We got your message and came here at once, so what's up?" Kiba asked and rested an elbow on Akamaru's back.

"We- err…" Naruto stammered and scratched the back of his head, before he looked at his two team-mates and then turned back to the people outside. "Hey – why don't you come upstairs? This isn't something for everyone's ears."

They exchanged a quick look and nodded at each other, before Naruto saw them leave for the entrance of the hotel. He closed the window and started putting away their bags, so they'd have enough space in the small room, which definitely wasn't made to accommodate six people and a huge dog. He even put away his futon and wondered what took them so long and if he should maybe wake his team-mates, when there was finally a knock at the door.

"Come in." He said impatiently and watched how the door was slowly opened, but instead of Kiba and the others, the hotelier poked her head into the room.

"Sorry to interrupt, but there are three suspicious beings downstairs, who claim to be acquainted with you and demand to be allowed upstairs. Shall I let them?" She asked raising an eyebrow and although it was actually a really nice thing of her to not let any strangers to them, Naruto was at the moment too impatient to show much of his gratitude.

"Of course! Let them come!" He exclaimed noisily and after bowing her head slightly, although her face looked rather sour, the elderly woman turned around and left again.

Naruto stared almost without blinking at the door, waiting for it to be opened again by the Konoha-nins this time, but it just remained stubbornly shut, until, after at least five minutes, it finally flew open and in came the three shinobi, surrounded by a palpable cloud of bad mood.

"Finally! What took you so long? Did you get lost or what?" The blonde snubbed and Kiba was at once ready to meet him with both an angry glare and an angry answer.

"First that _woman_ wouldn't let us in, then she finally changed her mind and we were just about to enter, when she came up with some no-dogs-allowed-crap. I told her at least ten times that Akamaru is no ordinary dog, but she wouldn't hear of it and now he has to wait outside. Like seriously – in case she thinks she can win over new customers this way she is sure wrong. Don't you dare give her any tips!" Kiba ranted and now that he had given vent to at least a little of his anger, he finally scanned the room and saw the two other people, who were still fast asleep, which didn't seem right, considering how loud he had been and then how late it was…

"Neji!" Tenten and Lee exclaimed almost simultaneously and stormed towards their team-mate once they caught sight of him.

"What happened to him?" Tenten asked and looked over her shoulder at Naruto, who merely shrugged.

"Well, he got hurt."

"Do not worry Neji. I will seek justice for the misdeed perpetrated upon you. Your sacrifice will not go in vain." Lee actually had tears in his eyes, as he reached for his team-mate's hand and decided to hold a minute of silence, like he was dead or at least inexorably approaching that condition.

"I'm really glad that it was you and not some strangers who received Shino's message." Naruto smiled blandly and sat down on the windowsill again.

"Right, but why are we here anyway and how come two thirds of your team are out cold?" Kiba asked and sat down beside Shino's futon.

"Well…" Naruto murmured and scratched the back of his head uneasily, while now all eyes of the not-sleeping people were focussed on him. "It's actually top-secret… I don't know if I can tell you…"

"You gotta be kidding me! We came here as fast as we could because we thought you needed help and now you won't even tell us?" The Inuzuka snubbed, not just slightly offended by Naruto's words and especially his lack of trust. "What did you call us here for then?"

"Phew…" The blonde sighed, his face openly displaying the inner turmoil underneath the surface of his skin. "Guess you're right, but you mustn't tell anyone." He roamed his clear blue eyes over the three people, waiting for all of them to nod their approval, before he carried on: "Okay then. Sasuke vanished, so we were sent out to search him and yesterday we finally found him."

"So he did this?" Tenten asked in a high-pitched voice and pointed at her wounded team-mate. Although Naruto would really like to tell her that he didn't, he just couldn't, so he merely shrugged and lowered his head.

"Danzô sent out some of his men as well and they found him before us and kept us trapped meanwhile, but they couldn't handle him, so they released us again. He was with Karin as we found him and Suigetsu at once changed sides and joined him."

"So Suigetsu was with you as well?" The brown-haired kunoichi enquired and now sat down next to Lee, who still couldn't avert his eyes from the Hyuga.

"Yes and Sayuri."

"So she joined him as well, huh? Not really surprising if you ask me… Tsunade must have been drunk as she chose the team." Kiba pressed his lips into a thin line, before he raised an eyebrow because of the angry look on Naruto's face.

"What's that supposed to mean? Of course she wasn't and Sayuri didn't join him!"

"Calm down. It's just… she is his girlfriend, so I rather wonder why he didn't take her with him from the start. If I should ever decide to leave the village I'd expect Ino to come with me… eh… or maybe not… depends…" He grimaced awkwardly, remembering the quarrel they've had before they took off, only because Ino thought he was spending too little time at home – how would it be if they were living on the road?

"They aren't a couple anymore-"

"What? And she still went with him?" Tenten looked at the blonde with wide eyes, but he just shook his head.

"Not voluntarily. We all fought and she got hurt during her fight with Karin and then Sasuke just dropped everything and took her with him." Naruto explained, not so happy with his own, somewhat chaotic way of retelling the past events.

"Does that mean he saved or he kidnapped her?" Lee raised one of his rather prominent eyebrows and finally let go of Neji's hand.

"Well… he… no… I mean…" Naruto stammered and curled his lips. Kidnapping was exactly the right word, but it sounded so harsh and he didn't want to say anything to put Sasuke in a bad light, although it was too late for that… "It's complicated. What he said and what he did contradicted each other. I don't know… it just didn't seem like he knew what he was doing himself…"

"But what's important is that he left Konoha again, didn't he?" Kiba enquired with a frown on his face.

"No! He just… kind of… phew…" Naruto exhaled noisily, before he took some deep breaths to calm himself and tried to arrange his thoughts. "Okay. Neither the things he did nor the things he said made any sense, so I'm not sure, but as it seems he did leave Konoha."

"Damn." Kiba cursed, before Lee asked: "But why would he do that?"

"I don't know." Naruto sighed in frustration and slumped his shoulders. "But whatever it is – we lost him again and now he has Sayuri so we have to find him soon, but as you can see they aren't really ready for that yet and I can't find them alone, so we asked for support."

"What's with that guy?" Kiba grimaced and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Can't he ever make up his mind? I'm sick of all the to and fro and how come I always end up searching him, like seriously!" He rolled his eyes and looked to the side, before he shrugged and turned back to the others.

"Fine then. I'll help you. How about you?" He looked at his current team-mates, who at once nodded.

"Of course we'll help." Lee said in behalf of them and first looked at Tenten and then at Neji. "We have to."

"Thank you guys." Naruto flashed a relieved smile and leaned back against the wall behind him, feeling how an illusionary burden was lifted from his shoulders – unfortunately it was just one of many, but still the difference was clearly noticeable.

"So how is it? When did you lose him and where?" Kiba, the only tracker among them asked, at once getting back to business.

"Yesterday morning, a couple of kilometres from here."

"But wouldn't it be better to go back to Konoha first? You can heal your wounds there and get sufficient support." Tenten proposed and flinched back a little, as she saw the irritated look on Naruto's face.

"Oh, not you too." He grimaced and dropped his head in frustration. "We talked about that already and we just don't have any time for that – besides, there are people in Konoha who would take things the wrong way…"

"Naruto is right – we don't have time to go back." Lee supported him and gave the Uzumaki a solemn nod.

"But we have our orders, too. We have a message to deliver and when we don't show up on time either, we'll be the next who are thought to be missing." The brown-haired girl reminded the others and caused her team-mates to lower their heads, knowing that she was right.

"I'd propose that we just switched and I joined your team, so they could take care of that message, but-"

"But you are not the Hokage and are therefore not allowed to make such decisions." Lee finished his statement and caused the blonde to grimace slightly, since that was actually not what he had thought of, but it was true as well.

"Well… yeah, but I mean we need Neji when it comes to finding their hideout and-"

"-and you need me." Shino had finally woken up and at once found himself in the centre of attention.

"Shino!" Kiba exclaimed and watched how his team-mate slowly struggled to sit up and it really did take him quite some time and he still appeared really shaky, nevertheless the first thing he did once he was sitting was adjusting his glasses.

"You need me when it comes to finding them." Shino said in a subdued voice and found himself opposed by some questioning faces so he explained: "I attached a female insect to every single one of you, in case we should get separated. They emit a certain fragrance that can be picked up by the male ones even over great distances."

"Really?" Naruto asked excitedly with a wide, open-mouthed smile on his face. "Way to go Shino! I know we could count on you." He laughed but was then struck by a sudden idea, which caused his smile to crumble slowly. "Wait a second… Why didn't you say so yesterday?"

"It wasn't asked and besides I was of Neji's opinion. The three of us wouldn't have managed to do anything, but now we have support."

"Hmpf." Naruto emitted a sulky sound and eyed the Aburame sceptically, but that one kept a straight face and didn't feel the need to justify his actions any further.

"Then everything is settled, right? So let's go!" Naruto got up and pumped his fist into the air, which was at once copied by Lee, whereas the rest of them didn't even do so little as nodding their heads in assent.

"What are you talking about – nothing is settled." Tenten objected with a frown on her face. "We still don't know what to do about our mission."

"Oh." The Uzumaki exhaled disappointedly and slumped back down. "So…? What do you propose?"

"Eeh? Why ask me?" She pointed at herself and there was a light blush on her cheeks, but since everyone just kept on looking at her, she figured she'd have to give them an answer. "We should wait till Neji wakes up; he'll know what to do."

"Anything else?" Naruto simply dismissed Tenten's idea, since up to now Neji's opinion had always differed from his, so he didn't really want to leave it to him and then they'd first have to wait till he woke up anyway.

"Tenten is right." Shino supported her in a blank voice. "He's our team-leader, so it's up to him to decide."

"Pfft. Fine – then let's wake him." Naruto got up, but as he was just about to approach the sleeping man, Tenten and Lee moved into his way.

"Let him sleep." Tenten held him back while Lee only nodded, and from the stern looks on their faces, you could tell that they'd fight to the death, just in order to have their team-mate enjoy his little nap.

"We are in no hurry, Naruto, so keep it down." Shino tried to calm him, but his words seemed to have the opposite effect on the blonde and he was just about to protest when Shino added: "Or do you think that Sayuri is not safe with him?"

Now Naruto's eyes widened and everyone was watching him, waiting for him to show how much trust he really had in his best friend.

"Hmpf." Naruto leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms behind his head. "So we'll wait."

…

…

Waking up isn't always a bad thing.

There are days when your eyes slowly flutter open and soft stripes of light stream through the blinds, giving the room a warm atmosphere and that's how you feel. Everything looks cozy and warm, your bed is cozy and warm, you just feel comfortable and rested and then you catch the faint smell of freshly brewed coffee, only to realize when you turn your head a little that there is a big, steaming mug standing right at your bedside table. Before you can even believe your luck, you feel two arms around you, pulling you into a possessive embrace and then you receive a long good-morning kiss that already makes you feel so very good that you feel ready for whatever life is going to throw into your way and can't even imagine that it might be something other than roses and confetti. A morning routine that already nips every hint of pessimism in the bud.

This clearly wasn't one of these days. In one moment she was still in the clutches of sleep's indistinctness. An ungraspable state in which your mind and your body no longer seem to be a unit and not even a part of your being any longer. It's like losing yourself, your limbs, your body, your brain, even your thoughts are scattered just about everywhere and everything is just black and it takes waking up to get everything back together again. To become whole once again. The way of waking up has its influence on how fast you manage to puzzle yourself together. Sometimes it's so quick it goes unnoticed, but today that wasn't the case.

First came her head. There was a bang and then pain. After that came her entire left side and slowly but surely her thoughts found their way back into her head, but they were still straying around in search of their fixed places, so there was just confusion. She opened her eyes, but there was only darkness in front of them, although it wasn't really dark in the room, so yet another reason for confusion and even though she couldn't really see anything, she felt how she was moving or rather being moved and heard herself let out a subdued '_Ouch'_. There was some pain in her nose now too, so she raised her forearms in front of it, only to feel that the wall was closing in on her and was pushing her backwards over the rough stony ground. Now confusion was replaced by panic, or maybe not replaced but rather complemented.

"Oh." She heard a voice and suddenly the movement stopped and she at once used the chance to bring some distance between herself and the approaching wall, by pushing herself to the back. "Err… what are you doing down there?"

Good question. Her brain wasn't really in charge yet and it took some time for her memories to return and with them came her sense of logic and suddenly all of this wasn't so very unsettling and mysterious anymore.

"I listened to the flute." She murmured drowsily and ran her hands over her face, trying to brush away the etherising remnants of sleep that still kept her eyes from opening completely and her mind from working the way it usually did.

"What flute?"

"The one that played…?" She finally propped herself up on her elbows and looked up, trying to find out with whom she was talking anyway and she couldn't say she was happy about it. There in the half-open door, which she had mistaken for a malicious wall that intended to crush her, stood no one else but the traitorous Houzuki.

"I didn't hear anything." He shrugged and frowned at the violet-haired girl, whose features were frozen at the moment.

"You…" She snarled and narrowed her eyes into slits, suddenly feeling wide awake, so she at once used that boost of energy to at least raise her upper body off the floor.

"Yep. Good morning sunshine. How do you do?" He grinned widely and squeezed through the open door crack, before he came to a stop in front of Sayuri and scrutinized her closely. "You've been asleep for nearly two days, but nevermind – so have I… Must have been the pills, right?"

"…" He didn't get an answer, but it didn't seem like he cared about that.

"Hey – you're into stripes?" He raised an eyebrow and there was this sly, ominous smirk on his lips that tried to burst into a full-out laugh, but he somehow managed to keep it in rein still, but it was only a matter of time.

"Huh?" She raised an eyebrow, still with that indignant expression on her face, the sight of his visage had summoned there, but the Houzuki only puckered his lips, still doing his best to restrain himself and did a meaningful motion with his head. Still a little slow on the uptake and actually unwilling to do something Suigetsu expected her to do, she followed his gaze after all, only to see that her kimono wasn't exactly where it was supposed to be…

"Wha– don't look!" She barked with a flushed face and pulled her clothes in place, while Suigetsu was no longer able to hold back his laughter, which only gave an even deeper shade to Sayuri's facial colour.

"Get out of here now or else I can't guarantee that your stupid grin will stay where it is." She glared at him through watery eyes – actually feeling like acting on her threat.

"Pf-fff…" Suigetsu pressed his lips together tightly, only to burst out into a new fit of laughter a second later. "Haha – that was really cute. You're about as dangerous as a fluffy little kitten."

"What do you want?" She hissed, feeling how the corners of her mouth were drawn down and her face still felt like it was on fire.

"Oh, just came to have a little chat." The Houzuki grinned and shook his head a bit, which caused his white hair to swing from one side to the other, like he was posing for a shampoo advertisement, before he moved on to the table and leaned against its edge.

"Tze – like I'd talk to you." Now she rose to her feet as well and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You rat betrayed us."

"_Betrayed_?" He raised an eyebrow and stared into the air thoughtfully, before his piercing violet eyes switched to Sayuri again. "Well, I'd say I'm just a practical person. I have a goal and since you won't be able to help me achieve it, it's only natural that I joined Sasuke, isn't it?"

"It's not – you used us from the very start and then just turned on us. What happened to the others anyway? Did you…? Are they…?" She couldn't even get herself to finish her question, but she doubted it was necessary.

"For someone who doesn't talk to me you have quite a lot to say, huh?" He smirked sardonically, enjoying to keep her on tenterhooks, while Sayuri felt like she was choked by the anxiety and couldn't even get herself to tell him to stop tantalizing her.

"They are alright… I guess…" He shrugged and roamed his eyes through the room. "Sasuke was in too much of a hurry to get you away from there to finish things off with them."

At first she had only been relieved, but now that last sentence brought back the question of what she was doing here and since Sasuke hadn't given her any answers, she'd now get them from Suigetsu, whether she wanted to talk to him or not. "But why?"

"What _why_?"

"Why did he do that? Just what am I doing here?"

"You're a good one…" He grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his head, not seeing what she was talking about. "Did you really think he'd let you run around like that?"

"Like what?" She frowned, getting annoyed by his cryptic answers, whereas the Houzuki seemed clearly amused by the whole thing.

"Well, in your condition of course." He knitted his brows and leaped up to take a seat on the table, just like Sasuke had done before. "Karin nearly stabbed you, remember? You think he'd let that happen?"

"W-what…?" Once again a shocked expression appeared on Sayuri's face, but she couldn't really believe what he had just said.

She remembered Karin; remembered the look on her face – she would have definitely killed her, no doubt about that, but she was still alive, so she obviously can't have finished her action. She hadn't even thought about that yet. The dagger had only been a foot away from her stomach and although she did have some slight pain in that region, it wasn't from a stab wound. Therefore she must have been stopped before she had even tried and that by Sasuke? The man that had looked at her with so much disdain in his eyes and had told her that she made him sick, was supposed to have saved her? Why in the world would he do that? He had planned to kill them, all of them, because he had again left Konoha for who knows what reason and then he had changed his mind and saved her after all? That just didn't make any sense. He didn't care about her anymore, otherwise he wouldn't have stood there with Karin to show her who had taken her place. All he had done lately was hurting her, so why should he have decided now to keep her from harm?

"Sayuri?" Suigetsu raised an eyebrow, as she had only stared into space for over a minute and now he finally got her to look at him again, although her eyes still looked like they were fixed on some distant place, definitely not in this room.

"It's hard to imagine with him, you know, but he's quite the family man." He murmured and now Sayuri's hazy blue eyes became focused again, but her face was still noticeably pale and she really felt like sitting down at the moment, but then she'd have to be able to move first, so she left it at listening to the Houzuki and his nonsense-talk for the time being. "I mean he more or less threw away his whole life to avenge his dead family, just imagine what he'd do for his living family…"

"But I'm not his family…" Sayuri murmured in a monotonous voice, still looking through rather than at him. "We broke up, remember? And I can't recall having gotten any sort of proposal, lately."

"What does that matter?" Suigetsu asked and watched how the violet-haired girl finally walked to her sleeping place and sat down on the thin futon, before wrapping the blanket around her. It really was cold in this room and she still walked around with bare legs. She didn't even know why she hadn't just changed her clothes yesterday – first thing she'd do once the Houzuki was gone.

"You know he-" He stopped as the door was opened and once he caught sight of the newcomer, you could clearly see how an annoyed expression appeared on his face.

"Gosh, not you!" Karin groused as she entered, the very thing that was also written on Suigetsu's face, but she had been the first to voice it. "Not enough that I have to do this in the first place – noo, then you have to be here as well."

"Nice to see you too!" Suigetsu grinned at her, trying to oppose her constant bad mood, with cheerfulness, just because he knew it annoyed her.

"What do you want here?" Sayuri glowered at her and now finally drew Karin's attention to her.

Awesome. Now she was here in the room with the very two people she least wanted to have here. Especially Karin - the new girlfriend of her ex and besides the woman who nearly killed her… Just great. But at least she now saw that Karin looked quite bad as well. There was a bandage around her head – like she had just come from the dentist and she had a black eye and her nose was slightly swollen, which made her look like some kind of bulldog. Really not pretty – just good that she didn't know how she looked herself, because she doubted it would be much different…

"This was so much better as you were still asleep. That way I could at least imagine you were a corpse." Karin rolled her eyes and closed the door behind her.

"Haha – this is so funny." Suigetsu started laughing and at once drew the angry glares of the two present women towards him. "You're like the good wife and the evil mistress."

"Tze - who are you calling evil you dork?" Karin barked and hurled the bag she was carrying at her team-mate, who allowed his head to liquefy so her attack just went through him.

"That you even have to ask." Suigetsu chuckled once his head had taken on a solid form again, but Karin only glared at him from the corner of her eyes, before she turned to Sayuri again.

"I have to examine you."

"I don't think so - Stay away from me!" The intended-patient hissed and pulled the blanket tighter around herself, her eyes following even the tiniest movement of the redhead, so she didn't miss how she reached into the bag, she had only just used as a weapon, and pulled out a small brown pouch.

"Hey! That's mine!" Sayuri exclaimed and pointed at her medical kit, but Karin only pressed it against her chest and narrowed her eyes.

"No. Yours is in your bag and this one is in my hand."

"But it isn't in my bag anymore."

"It's not my problem when you can't look after your personal stuff." Karin snubbed and crossed her arms in front of her chest, right around the bag containing various sorts of medical supply, to keep Sayuri from looking at it and more importantly to mark her possession.

"Of all the things you two could argue about you choose a stupid bag." Suigetsu smirked and shook his head, pointing out just how ridiculous their debate was in consideration of the situation.

"Shut up!" They barked simultaneously and directed their hateful glares at him now.

"Sheesh… easy now." He held up his hands soothingly, like he was already preparing to fend them off, in case they should jump at his throat, which didn't seem so very unlikely at the moment.

"Anyway." Karin turned back to her patient and walked a couple of steps into her direction, while Sayuri moved farther to the back automatically, until her back was pressed against the wall and she felt like a trapped animal, which Karin regarded with a self-complacent smile on her lips. "Look, I'm not keen on this either, so just pretend you are dead or so – that'll make it much easier for the two of us."

"Like I'll let you touch me. The last time I saw you, you still tried to kill me." Sayuri said and tried to look a little less like a scared rabbit that was approaching a heart attack.

"Yeah but I failed, right?" She raised an eyebrow and planted herself in front of Sayuri so she could look down on her and appear like a mighty giant while doing so. "You're still alive and that's also my doing. So stop making such a fuss."

"I'm fine. I don't need to be examined – I can handle those few scratches myself." The violet-haired kunoichi assured her and cursed herself for having moved from demanding to negotiating.

"Right, but I have my orders and I not only have to examine you, but also the baby, so stop being such a pain or I'll change my mind about not killing you."

"Pfft – try it!" Sayuri leaned to the front, anger giving her a good load of courage, or more likely just blinding her common sense, which clearly told her that she wasn't in the condition for a fight, but neither was Karin, so maybe it would end in a draw.

"I'd love to…" Karin snarled venomously, knowing that no matter how much she wanted this she couldn't do it.

"Hold on." Sayuri murmured with wide eyes and let Karin's words play through her mind again. "W-what did you say?"

"I said: I'd _love_ to kill you and-"

"No, before that." She swallowed hard, while the redhead only frowned at her, wondering what the matter was this time… "You said you had to examine the baby, didn't you?"

"Yes." Karin hissed impatiently, almost certain now that she only did this to vex her.

"What baby?"

"Just how stupid are you? You think we store pregnant women here?" The redhead groused, but her opposite still looked like she had no clue what she was talking about, so she made it clearer: "Yours of course! The one in your uterus. Got it now?"

"I-I'm not pregnant." Sayuri shook her head hastily and looked from Karin to Suigetsu, hoping they'd burst out into laughter now, but they didn't. "If I was, I'd know it and-"

"Oh, cut it out now!" Karin barked and rolled her eyes. "Sasuke saw it with his Sharingan and I can sense it, okay? So there is no point in hiding it any longer. Like seriously, what else did you think you were doing here? Did you think Sasuke wanted to have you here because he missed you? – Certainly not!"

"I'm not… hiding…" Her tongue became really heavy and it was an ordeal to squeeze out the single words and yet she felt the overpowering urge to express herself and to assure them or more likely herself that it wasn't true. "I'm not… that's…"

"Hey – take a breath." She heard Suigetsu say, but in that moment a weltering surge of blood rushed into her head, which made his voice sound like it came through a long underwater tunnel and she was in there as well and was slowly washed out of her body and away from here as the bloodflow ebbed away again and left her to be embraced by an overwhelming coldness that at once took dominion over her every cell. Her eyes were wandering erratically from side to side, away and back, so she tried to stop them by blinking, but with every time it became harder to get her lids to open again, until her eyes remained closed and it was like all rules of gravity suddenly lost their validity. She was only floating in the room, entirely unaware of up and down, left or right, all directions became a lie and the laws of physics seemed to be rescinded – like she was in water, swimming in a puddle of the blood that had left her brain and it was so unbearably cold. Temperatures you could only find at the deepest point of the ocean washed over her and rattled her teeth. There was some pull at her head, probably drawing her down, but at the moment it felt like it was going to the right. When she opened her eyes again she found the world in a different angle than she would have assumed it to be and twitched briefly, while stretching her hands to keep her balance and catch herself if necessary, but it was too late. She heard her name, but the voice was about as substantial as every single thought in her head and she was so far away already that it barely reached her and then everything went black.

…

…

The sun was already setting when Neji finally woke up. Kiba and Tenten had walked through the village to acquire some food for them, while Lee couldn't have been moved to leave his team-mate and self-declared rival, the genius of the Hyuga clan behind. Tenten had also bought some medical supply for them, disinfectants, bandages and pain reliever and had taken care of their wounds as best as she could. They had finally eaten up now and were in about as good a condition as they could possibly be, so they finally took on the serious matters that were still open for discussion.

"I see." Neji nodded as the others had brought him up to date and now he just sat there on his futon with crossed legs and closed eyes, looking as solemn as a Buddha.

"So what are we gonna do now?" Naruto asked impatiently and kept straying through the little bit of free space there was in this room, since sitting still was about the last thing he wanted or could do now.

"They are right. They have their mission and we have ours, although in our current condition we will have some difficulties with completing it." Neji murmured calmly, while his unhelpful answer only caused Naruto's patience to wear thinner and thinner.

"That's why we called for support and now they are here, so where's the problem?" Naruto exclaimed in a high-pitched voice and roamed his widened blue eyes through the room. "We are so many now and with you Kiba and Shino, we shouldn't have problems with finding them and now we are superior in number as well, so we'll be done with this in no time and then we can return to the village and you take care of your mission. I doubt that Tsunade will make a fuss when you come a day or two too late."

"It won't be this easy." Neji brought him back down to earth. "He obviously doesn't want to return to Konoha, so it will definitely come to a fight and then he still has Sayuri, so he could use her as a hostage."

"Not to forget about Karin." Kiba added. "She'd warn him, before we'd even have a chance to get anywhere near them, so this'll be quite difficult."

"And all of them are serious opponents; we can't rely on being superior in number." Tenten decided to say something against Naruto's rash decision as well, which he definitely didn't take positively. "An actual fight would definitely take a toll on us and we'd not only have to overpower them, but also bring them the whole way to Konoha – in case we should pull it off at all, it'll definitely cost us more than two days of delay."

"So you say we just leave it?" Naruto groused and crossed his arms in front of his chest, feeling pushed into a corner by all these people who were so obstinately of a different opinion than him.

"Eeh? No!" Tenten shook her head quickly and looked at the sulky blonde with widened eyes. "It just won't work the way you say."

"Then how about you come up with a better idea?"

"Stop it Naruto. Tenten is right." Neji sighed wearily, still feeling too worn out to cope with Naruto's overly loud speech organs. "The situation is far more complicated than you think, we shouldn't make a decision just for the sake of making one – we'll need to think things through thoroughly, otherwise this mission is doomed to fail."

"But instead of talking about how we should make our decision or all the things we can't do, we should finally come to what we are going to do now!" The blonde groused in frustration and was close to tearing at his hair.

"Naruto is right. We finally need to decide on what to do." Lee backed him up and at once received an eager nod by the Uzumaki, who was really grateful for the little bit of support.

"…"

A thoughtful silence filled the room and even Naruto had stopped strolling around by now. The only thing you could hear was the noise of the gears in everyone's brains, as they intently concentrated on finding a solution for their problem, but to no avail. No sudden flash of genius would lighten up the tense mood, so instead of words, the room remained dominated by the creaking sound of gearwheels, until a loud knock set an end to their fruitless thinking processes. They all turned their heads towards the door, but nothing happened, so it finally occurred to Tenten that whoever there was probably waited for an invitation.

"Come in." She said and now the door finally opened and the owner of the hotel poked her head into the room.

"Excuse me." She smiled uneasily, before her eyes narrowed and she scrutinized the people in the room closely. "I didn't see any of you leave, so I just wanted to find out if you are staying for the night."

"No we-"

"Yes. We will." Neji interrupted Naruto and at once drew his irritated glare towards him.

"Good." The elderly woman smiled again, but something about her face looked kind of dubious. "That costs extra then. I take it you will want an additional room, or better two – the poor girl shouldn't be forced to sleep in a room with so many men."

"Eh? Oh, that's… ehm…" Tenten giggled uneasily, not really knowing what to say, since quite frankly she hadn't even taken into consideration that they might be staying here tonight.

"No. This one room will do." Neji said and now found himself in the centre of quite some startled gazes, especially the old woman looked obviously shocked and didn't seem to know what to say now.

"Err… as you wish." She stammered and gave Tenten a scandalized look, which caused her to turn bright red, but before she could say anything to defend herself, their hotelier had already turned her back on them and closed the door behind her without even uttering a goodbye.

"So now, this sounded like you've made up your mind." Kiba turned to Neji, once they were among themselves again and watched him nod in assent.

"It's not the best solution, but the best I can think of." The Hyuga murmured and closed his eyes, once again going through the plan he had worked out.

"Okay, okay – then spit it out already!" Naruto said impatiently and crossed his arms in front of his chest, already sure that he wouldn't like whatever he had to say, since it included another overnight stay.

"Now that we know about Shino's insects, we are in no hurry to pick up their traces. Nevertheless it would be best if we had Kiba with us." The Hyuga explained calmly and now looked at the members of the other team. "Tenten, Lee – I know you and I am convinced that you'll be able to make your way to Konoha by yourselves, but in the end that remains your decision."

Everyone stared at the two expectantly and while Tenten merely looked a little taken aback, Lee seemed clearly disappointed, since he had actually looked forward to bringing back Sasuke, which would definitely be a challenge, but then travelling in just a pair, wasn't too easy either and they'd have to take care that the scroll got to Konoha.

"Of course we can do it!" Lee exclaimed with new enthusiasm and looked at Tenten, who seemed a little sceptical, but then nodded as well.

"How about you Kiba?"

All attention now rested on the Inuzuka and he stalled a bit before he finally heaved a theatrical sigh and said: "Up to now I've been in every Sasuke-retrieval-group, right? Can't break the tradition now…"

"Good." Neji sighed, while Naruto only smiled contently, happy that things were finally beginning to assume shape. "Besides taking care of your own mission, please inform Tsunade-sama of what happened, since now that Katsuyu is gone we aren't able to communicate directly anymore."

"Alright! You can count on us!" The dark-haired man exclaimed and gave the Hyuga a wide grin and a thumbs-up, proud to have been entrusted such an important task after all.

"Wait!" Naruto interrupted him and his interjection was followed by some annoyed sighs.

"I'm not even finished. What is it now?" Neji rolled his eyes, feeling a bit of the impatience Naruto had been plagued with all day.

"They can't do that! If they tell Tsunade, they'll make him a nuke-nin again!"

"And they'll be damn right to do it, because he is one." Neji hissed, finally abandoning his calm, laid-back poise, but then that wasn't so very surprising since the Uchiha had always managed to upset him in one way or the other.

"We don't know that-"

"Naruto, he fought us and he kidnapped Sayuri – how much more evidence do you need?" The Hyuga interrupted him in an angry voice, but he still didn't manage to shake Naruto's unwavering trust in his friend.

"That doesn't have to mean anything! You heard him yourself – he was only talking nonsense, it was obvious that he was confused." The blonde defended his team-mate and merely caused Neji to roll his eyes.

"What did he say?" Kiba frowned at him, since he wasn't familiar with the details.

"He said that he left Konoha because he didn't want to live among the murderers of his clan and then he even defended Itachi and said that he had merely been a victim of… err…" At the beginning he had talked so fast that his voice had barely been able to keep up, but now a slight gap in his memory caused him to stumble over his words. "Well a victim! After everything Sasuke did to finally be able to kill him, defending him would be the last thing he'd ever do!"

"Hm… it clearly doesn't sound like him, but still…" Kiba gave him a partial agreement and cupped a hand around his cheek. "That still doesn't really prove it…"

"But Naruto is right. It is weird!" Lee nodded hastily, same as Naruto always believing in the good in a person.

"And then he also said that people don't change – that almost sounded like some kind of secret message – like he was forced to do this!"

"Pfft - you only hear what you want to hear, to me that rather sounded like he wants you to finally stop making something out of him he isn't." Neji countered, but before Naruto could reply, the Aburame tried to bring the conversation back to the actual topic.

"It's a journey of four and a half days from here to Konoha – maybe we'll have found him by then already." Shino tried to soothe him, but wasn't exactly successful.

"What does that matter? We won't get there before them, so once we're back in the village they'll see him as a nuke-nin and treat him like that – even when we should find out that all of this has been a misunderstanding, it would be almost impossible to change their minds then." Naruto explained in a desperate voice and caused some thoughtful expressions to appear on everyone's faces.

"And again Naruto is right." The Inuzuka murmured and Lee also nodded in assent.

"But they'll have to tell her. Tsunade will want to know where Kiba is, so how are they supposed to explain that without mentioning this whole thing?" Neji asked, directed at Naruto, since he was the one who had a problem with his initial idea. The blonde gave the Hyuga an angry look, before he curled his lips and tried to think of an idea.

"Just tell her he's with us." Naruto murmured slowly and now turned his attention to Tenten and Lee. "There has been an encounter with Danzô's men so we needed the support and we found them already, but then lost track of them again. That's all she needs to know…"

"You want us to lie to the Hokage?" Tenten asked in a high-pitched voice and stared at the blonde with a stunned face.

"No! You're not lying… you just give her a slightly abridged report of the events…" Naruto tried to whitewash the issue as best as possible and gave his opposites a sheepish smile, but they still looked fairly sceptical.

"But she'll definitely ask for details." The brown-haired kunoichi murmured uneasily; actually she regarded Tsunade as some kind of idol, so she really didn't want to lie, or at least keep things from her.

"Then tell her you don't know anything. We didn't have time to exchange that many facts."

"But that's then lying after all, isn't it?" Lee raised an eyebrow, while Naruto only grimaced and cursed him internally.

"Do we really have to have _that_ discussion now?" The blonde groaned loudly and crossed his arms behind his head, while gazing out of the window, knowing that they were nowhere near being through with this yet…

…

…

"What is it now? She can't be serious, right?" Karin stared at the unconscious girl with an irritated expression, but she wouldn't move or tell her it was a joke.

"She looks a bit like Kisame-senpai, don't you think?" Suigetsu grinned and poked a finger into Sayuri's cheek, like it was a stranded jellyfish. "Is she supposed to be this blue? Sure doesn't look healthy…"

"No – and quit messing around!" She knocked his hand away and glared at her team-mate. "Stop getting on my nerves!"

"I don't know what you're getting so worked up about – you wanted her to act dead and ta-dah!" He spread his hands and wiggled his fingers over her head. "She's only doing as you told her and you got to admit she's really doing a great job."

The redhead watched how the Houzuki nodded admiringly and couldn't believe how stupid he was. "Like she's doing that on purpose you idiot and it's no help at the moment since I need to question her about the baby."

"Bad luck, then…" Suigetsu smirked and just received another angry glare by his team-mate who'd best like to beat him up, but was then struck by a new idea. A malicious, but anticipating sneer appeared on her full lips as she thought about how this was her chance to give Sayuri a hearty smack across the face. She'd deserve that for all the trouble she had caused her already. Everything had gone so unbelievably well until she had shown up here again and had at once driven a wedge between her and Sasuke.

"Better leave it." Suigetsu said in a low voice and watched with narrowed eyes how the redhead was just about to raise her hand in order to put her plan into action. "When Sasuke gets to know that you only laid a finger on her, he'll tear you into shreds. He's mad at you anyway for nearly killing his baby and I don't believe you that you didn't know about it…" Everything playful had left his voice and was replaced by an insidious undercurrent, which perfectly fitted to the sharp look in his eyes, with which he scrutinized Karin's every movement.

"What do I care what you believe, fishhead." She pressed through clenched teeth and glowered at the white-haired man.

They were right, both of them – of course she had sensed it, but still they had no right to accuse her of it. Like seriously, as if there was any way she'd admit it and as long as she didn't do so, they should better believe her. She had been far too distracted by all the other chakras and then especially the Kyuubi that she hadn't quite noticed it – that's what she had told Sasuke, but he hadn't really bought it. He had been so angry; the way he had talked to her in this low, cold voice and then especially the fierce look in his eyes – he had even activated his Sharingan or he had maybe just been too furious to suppress it, either way, at times it had seemed like he'd lose the tiny bit of self-restraint he's still had left and if that had really happened she probably wouldn't be here now.

She still hadn't admitted anything and sure wouldn't do so – she wasn't suicidal and at the moment she'd think Sasuke capable of anything. He had changed so much in the last weeks. Actually she had thought it had been a good change. He had become crueller, alright, but then he had also become more emotional. Mainly when it came to anger, though, but he was also more passionate, she's had the pleasure to experience at least a bit of it, but then Sayuri had shown up again and everything she had managed to build up between Sasuke and her had just fallen apart like a house of cards. The foundations of their relationship had been too fragile still to withstand the trauma caused by the appearance of the pregnant ex-girlfriend, so it was all her fault. If it hadn't been for her, she wouldn't have fallen out of favour with him now. Then she could maybe be in her position in nine months from now. But that wouldn't happen. She doubted that she'd manage to fix things between them any time soon and then there was still Sayuri and her damn spawn, which was an unknown variable in her scheme.

She didn't know which role they'd play in his life, but merely thinking about it made her want to puke. Once again that persistent roach was about to snatch everything from her she had worked for so hard and she truly, abysmally hated her for it. And then she had been so close. She would have needed a second or two longer and she would have been dead now, but Sasuke had noticed it and as she had just been about to stab her rival, he had thrown a kunai against her hand – not just at the kunai in her hand but he had actually aimed it at her. She now ran around with a bandage around her hand to cover the stigmata-like wound on her palm she had thanks to him and he hadn't even apologized.

"Hey! I think she's waking up!" Suigetsu interrupted her train of thoughts and caused her to narrow her red eyes and focus them on the violet-haired girl, whose eyelids fluttered suspiciously, but didn't open just yet.

Everything around her was still bathed in darkness and there were voices, slowly meandering their way past all the agonizingly loud throbbing blood that seemed to be occluding her auditory canals. A narrow crescent of dirty white light opened up, calling her towards it, but it didn't even seem nearly as inviting as the darkness, but unfortunately a longer stay there was denied to her, as the pull of the light became more forceful, more urgent. It felt like she was catapulted into consciousness and her eyes quickly popped open. Then her energy and will left her again, abandoning her in a black and white interval, at least two steps short of being awake and yet conscious enough to be aware of everything passing on around her.

"Finally, you dozy cow!" Karin groused once Sayuri had opened her eyes again, but kept lying there on her side, with her hair hiding most of her face, but it didn't seem to bother her. "Get up already! I have some questions to ask."

"…" Instead of answering, Sayuri just lay there with a blank face and stared into space, not seeming responsive or like she had even heard that she had been spoken to.

"Since when are you pregnant?" The redhead asked, her voice not sounding inquisitive, but rather accusing and still Sayuri didn't respond and looked like a broken doll with her glassy, empty eyes.

"You gotta be kidding me." Karin shook her head in disbelief and forced herself to take some deep breaths, before she'd lose her temper and let it all out on the woman who was unfortunately under Sasuke's protection, which was probably the only reason why she wasn't dead yet. This was so nerve-wracking – Sasuke wanted some answers and especially assurance that the baby was well and Sayuri was the medic-nin here, so she ought to have a look at it herself and tell her then, just so that she could tell Sasuke and maybe rise in his estimation a little again.

"How about you start examining her then?" Suigetsu proposed and therewith introduced himself as the future outlet for Karin's bottled-up anger.

"What do you know? Like it was that easy, you turf-head!" She snarled and turned back to Sayuri, already moving her hands indecisively into her direction, before she balled them into fists and slammed them onto the ground. "Damn him! Just what is Sasuke thinking? I don't know anything about babies – I'm no freaking midwife – all I can do is sense its chakra, I don't have any idea if it's healthy or not or how old it is or anything!"

"But when you can sense it that means it's alive, huh?" Suigetsu raised an eyebrow and regarded the red-haired woman with an amused expression.

"Err… yes, but still…" Karin sucked in her bottom lip, before she popped it out again and reluctantly put a hand on Sayuri's stomach and against expectation she didn't come up with some '_don't touch me'_ crap, which would be quite alarming, in case she would care about her, but since that was clearly not the case, she was almost glad about that vigilant coma she had fallen into. At least for the moment. "It felt different the first time I sensed it. It was more pronounced, but so was hers and I don't know in how far they are connected."

"So you mean it's bad news?" Suigetsu asked and watched how Karin slowly nodded. "Haha – man… I'm glad that I'm not the one who has to tell Sasuke about it. He won't be amused." The white-haired man chuckled, before Karin's fist went right through his head and put a stop to his display of malicious joy.

"Shut up! It isn't my fault. Who told her to come here anyway? Isn't she supposed to sit at home and eat pickles with ice-cream and stuff?"

"Hehe, right…" The Houzuki smirked once his head had solidified again, before he turned to Sayuri, who still looked as lifeless as a knocked-over mannequin. "You're quite reckless Sayuri-chan. Taking part in such a dangerous mission as a pregnant woman. It was probably the babies desire to be with its father, huh? - Love conquers it all!"

"Gosh – shut up already!" Karin couldn't stand hearing him talk that way – father and love and all that stuff, like they were actually a family now. She still hoped that she'd just drop off the baby and then get lost again. After all she was still the woman Sasuke left and a stupid baby shouldn't change anything about that – he was only interested in his heir and not in her.

"I'm so thirsty…" Sayuri murmured in a breathy voice, but still didn't seem inclined to get up. "Can I… water, please?"

Her mouth felt so terribly dry and it was so cold in here that she must have gone into some kind of brumation, which would explain why she felt unable to move.

"Found your tongue at last, eh? Fine. I'll get you some." Suigetsu grinned before he rose to his feet and walked to the door. As he was just about to leave, however, he turned around again and gave Karin a piercing look. "Can I leave you alone with her?"

"What's that supposed to mean now?" She snapped at him, offended by his implicit accusation.

"Just saying… wouldn't be pleasant to get back and find a bloodbath here."

"Tze – I'll make a bloodbath of you if you won't get out of here now!" Karin was just about to throw her, or rather Sayuri's bag at him, but could only just control herself, which was good, since she'd probably need that thing still.

"Yeah, right…" He curled his lips smugly, absolutely convinced that she couldn't pull it off anyway. "Don't do anything I wouldn't." He winked at her, before he finally left, while Karin was once again tempted to act on her threat, but then he was gone already, so she turned back to the violet-haired kunoichi.

"Oh, pull yourself together girl!" She groused and rolled her eyes, again fighting the urge to slap her awake, but instead she merely put her hands on her shoulders and pulled her into a sitting position. Sayuri's head dipped forward weakly, feeling far too heavy to keep up, but then she got a grip on herself and raised it, to lean it against the wall behind her, which provided the support she needed.

"So now tell me, since when are you pregnant? Did you have a check-up already or do you know the gender?" She asked and watched how her opposite pulled the blanket closer around herself, her whole body shivering like a leave, but then her attention was drawn to the door as Suigetsu came back.

"Oh, you're alive… You must be shit-scared of Sasuke, huh?" He chuckled and enjoyed seeing how very upset his team-mate looked, which told him that he had hit the mark.

"Shut up already and give her the water, goddammit!" She snarled, while Suigetsu merely shrugged indifferently and moved towards the two, to take a seat on the ground right next to Karin.

"There you go." He handed her the glass and watched how Sayuri slowly brought both her shaky hands out from under the blanket and moved them to the glass. She tried to pick it from out of his hands, but the second he let go, it slipped through her shock-wired hands and fell down, shattering into a hundred big and tiny pieces on the hard stones. She merely stared with widened eyes and a slightly agape mouth at the glittering puddle, while Karin clapped a hand to her forehead and let out an annoyed moan.

"You gotta be kidding me!" She shook her head and stared incredulously at the violet-haired girl, who looked like a retarded monkey the way she gaped at the broken glass.

"Don't tell me I have to get a new one." The Houzuki sighed and dropped his head, not feeling like acting as a servant here.

"Just give her one of your bottles then – at least she can't break them." Karin moaned and caused an incredulous expression to appear on Suigetsu's face.

"Ehe – no." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and raised an eyebrow. "I need the water far more than her."

"You have at least a dozen of these silly bottles so give it to her already." Karin groused and now Suigetsu finally did as he was told, although he was pretty reluctant to do so, which the sulky look on his face made clear.

"Thanks." Sayuri murmured, once she had emptied at least half of the bottle, without dropping it this time and now that she no longer had to fear that her lips would chap when she moved them, talking was a lot easier.

"Alright then, will you finally answer my questions now?" Karin raised an eyebrow and gave the other girl an expectant look, but she only shook her head before she murmured in a slow, unsteady voice: "I don't know what it gives you to make such things up, but I'm not pregnant."

"Not that again… there is no point in denying it any more, okay? Gosh, I wonder how Sasuke could put up with you this long." The redhead heaved a deep sigh, while Suigetsu merely watched her with a mocking expression.

"C'mon – you're just jealous…" He sneered and already moved his head back, since he knew what would come next, but to his relief Sayuri drew their attention to her.

"I-I can't be pregnant." She stammered and shook her head still with that shocked look on her face. "It's impossible."

"Yeah right…" Suigetsu curled his lips, obviously amused. "Like anyone believes you that…"

"Suigetsu!" Karin barked, at once getting what he was hinting at and not liking it at all. "What are you doing here anyway? I'm supposed to examine her and I'd be much quicker if you'd just get lost!"

Their voices slowly merged until they were more like a distant humming and Sayuri no longer understood a word of what they were saying, but then she didn't care anyway, since she was too busy with trying to hear herself think.

None of this was making sense. She couldn't be pregnant. Impossible. After all they had used protection – except for the first time, but if it had been back then, she'd be like pregnant in the thirteenth month now and would probably look like a grown-up sea cow and since that was clearly not the case this didn't make sense. She had gained a tiny bit of weight, but only after losing quite a lot of weight before that and still not enough to think of pregnancy. And she would have noticed. She was a medic-nin after all, she didn't have much to do with pregnant women, though, but still she knew the indications and she hadn't noticed anything. She had been ill quite often admittedly, but that had nothing to do with pregnancy and it's not like she's had any ravenous appetite attacks or something of that sort. On the contrary – the mere thought of eating had made her feel sick, but then sickness would fit… Morning sickness and so on, but she had only once puked, but that was because of a food poisoning, or so she had thought. And then once was an understatement… It was one instance, but it went over four days and a bit of the following four ones as well – some kinds of after-effects, but it had happened right after they had gone to a new restaurant and had eaten fish. They had both felt queasy as they had gotten home and she had puked and because of that her immune system had been so weakened that she had gotten ill shortly after that again. But she had actually thought she had caught a cold and not a baby.

She felt how her whole world started crashing in all around her. She was eighteen years old, single, kept prisoner in some dungeon-like cell by her ex-boyfriend, his new girlfriend and their pet-shark and as if that wasn't enough she was supposed to be pregnant as well? That sounded like a pretty bad soap-opera. Her life played on subtitles and she could feel a salty liquid sting in her eyes, disabling her from deciphering these substantial captions that might help her understand what was going on.

"Hey – what are you doing?" Suigetsu's voice finally seeped through to her, so she looked up, but it was like there was an aquarium between them and they looked blurry and distorted, now there were just some fishes missing – other than Suigetsu – that would bubble around there and it would be pretty funny, but she didn't really feel like laughing now.

"Stop that." He whined, looking like he felt really uncomfortable, but it was too late already. She could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks and wondered if they'd freeze right there, cold as it was in here.

"What's with her now?" Karin groused, sounding like she was about to lose her patience, which wasn't really surprising, considering how short-lived it was.

"There, there." He moved forward and patted the top of her head awkwardly, as if he meant to comfort her. "Enough now."

It was impossible. It wasn't even like she was crying. Not in the usual way at least. She wasn't sobbing, her nose wasn't running, she had no problems with breathing, nothing and yet the tears just kept running down her cheeks, while her eyes remained focused on the broken glass amid the puddle of water, which seemed like a sad metaphor for her life.

She kept sitting there and let her thoughts part her head along with her tears. It might have just been rainwater and she might have well been a mere statue for she felt cold and empty and her brain was at the moment as active and productive as a chip of stone, so it might very well be. The salty tears might have turned her skin to halite and she'd look valuable and beautiful now, like she was made of crystal, but that was very unlikely, with her luck she was most likely just rusting and would look dirty like copper and smell of gore.

Sometime in the course of the day or maybe night someone must have breathed life into her and there was neither crystal nor rust, just her normal, gravid self. She was alone again. Karin and Suigetsu must have deserted her, who knew how long ago that had been already. Judging from the size of her stomach it had either been less than a month or more than nine months. Maybe it was over already. She might have spent ages like Niobe, a weeping stone, although they were clearly mourning for opposite reasons. Wishful thinking. She was as unimaginably pregnant as before and she wouldn't be able to just worm her way out of the situation – life was rarely this easy.

She was still sitting with her back to the wall and her shoulders feeling stiff and aching, every movement sending sharp needles through her muscles, so she rather remained still – the whole situation was tormenting enough, there was no need for masochism now. Her senses finally returned from their fleeting holidays and except for the sniffing of her nose, she again perceived that weird melody, not quite the same as the day or rather night before, but definitely the same instrument. Probably.

Her reddened eyes switched towards the door, which was closed of course, not that she would have expected anything else. Suigetsu had said he hadn't heard the music, but she apparently did, although she wasn't quite sure of it. Maybe she really was just imagining this. A trick of her mind to fight the loneliness, or some sort of self-defensive mechanism that was supposed to keep her from thinking about her current situation which would definitely entail fear, desperation and most likely insanity, which might have been quite comforting at the moment. Hopping around in a padded cell, leaping head first against the walls, until she had knocked every remaining bit of common sense out of her and would spend the rest of her days in a state of perfect passivity, not caring about a thing in the world and especially not the thing in her uterus or more importantly what would happen once it was out of there…

She couldn't even pull that passivity-thing off for five entire minutes. The pain in her muscles made it impossible to just keep sitting there, so she rose to her feet and started stretching a little, trying her best to just ignore the music, which seemed like a siren call of insanity. But it sounded far too realistic to be a mere product of her imagination and before she could do anything about it, she was standing there at the door again, with her ear pressed to the rough wood.

The melody clearly didn't emanate from between her ears, but had an exterior source. Probably. She could even swear she heard some sorts of breathing sounds from time to time. She definitely had a vivid imagination, but still she doubted that her mind would come up with this many details.

"Hello?" She asked, barely raising her voice above a whisper, since she felt kind of awkward about this whole thing, which is why she didn't want to be overheard, in case someone should happen to walk past her door in that moment. Being caught soliloquizing sure wouldn't reflect well on her mental state.

Just as expected she didn't get a response and yet did in a way. The music stopped for a brief second before it played a quick sequence of rising notes and went back to the original melody again.

A frown appeared on her face and she didn't know what to think of that, other than being clearly annoyed by it.

"Is there someone?"

Again the music changed to some lighter notes and that right after her question, so it can't have been mere coincidence. Just how silly this was. She could literally imagine how someone sat there on the other side of the door and laughed up his sleeve or into his flute or whatever and of the people that were here, she could actually think only one capable of this.

"Suigetsu? Is that you?" Her voice was louder now and there was a slightly snappish tone in it, but instead of a direct reply, whoever there was only played deeper tones.

This would be just the thing Suigetsu would do, searching for every possible way to annoy his fellow human beings. It would also explain why he had told her he hadn't heard it, just so that he could unsettle her further and have her believe she was going mad.

"This is so not funny! What are you – three years old? Stop it already!" She groused and for once felt like switching roles with Karin just so that she could give him a proper beating.

The music actually fell silent now, which startled her a little, so she bowed down and tried to peek through the keyhole.

"Does this meet your approval now?"

This wasn't Suigetsu. It was a low, toneless voice – the verbal response she had been waiting for and yet it shocked her since she wouldn't have expected an answer.

…

…


	29. Secret ally?

**29. Secret ally?**

The discussion on how to proceed had gone on for quite some time, but in the end Naruto had gotten his way and they had decided to act clueless in front of Tsunade. It was obvious that Tenten had quite some qualms about it, whereas Lee had been entirely won over as Naruto had told them about how he had sensed that Sasuke was uncertain. From that point on he could have probably said anything and Lee would have still supported him – he was just totally into this spiritual stuff, only that this wasn't just some humbug, but it had actually happened.

The two of them had set out at once, while the four of them had rested the night, so they'd be able to start out at sunrise, which was now.

"Stop dawdling Kiba!" Naruto stood at the staircase in the entrance hall of the hotel they had staid in the last two nights and looked up, waiting for his team-mate to finally appear.

Meanwhile Neji was at the reception and paid the extortionate sum the old woman demanded, without any complaints – after all they were still far from having exhausted the budget they were given for this mission, so it wasn't his money he was spending – however two or three further nights here and things would look quite bad for his wallet, so it was good that they left.

"I hope you enjoyed your stay-" She bowed slightly but then broke off and gazed to the side, as Naruto once again felt the urge to rush his team-mate.

"We're all waiting here already! What takes you so long?"

"Tze – you can talk. I first had to look after Akamaru and then myself." Kiba groused as he finally walked down the stairs. "If he would have been allowed to come inside it would have been much easier." He shot an accusing look at the elderly woman, who glared back at him, before she turned to the Hyuga again and carried on with her farewell clause.

"-but please feel free to choose another hotel in case you should ever come here again."

"Sure won't happen." The Inuzuka grumbled and walked outside with his head held high and not a single word of goodbye.

"Thank you very much for offering us shelter." Neji said while putting his wallet away, whereas the rest of his team had left the small hotel already.

"Not at all. It's how I make my living." She shrugged, before her eyes narrowed and she scrutinized the Hyuga with a stealthy expression. "I don't know what you've gotten yourself into, but I hope it's nothing illegal. Wouldn't feel good to have accommodated criminals."

If they actually were criminals, then this statement would have probably signed her death warrant, but to her luck she not only got away unscathed, but was even rewarded for her impolite behaviour with a generous sum of money.

"Goodbye then." Neji deliberately omitted to answer her question, leaving it to her imagination, to figure out what he meant and the shocked look on her face, told him what kind of conclusion she had drawn and he couldn't say he wasn't pleased about it.

Without another word he walked outside to join the rest of his team, who had already moved on to the entrance gate of the village, where Naruto was waving at him impatiently.

"Finally!" He barked and shuffled on the spot, all eager to take off. "So then Shino, Kiba – where do we go to?"

"Don't ask me. I haven't gotten a chance to pick up their scents yet." Kiba said defensively and focused his attention on the Aburame, who adjusted his dark sunglasses and stared into the wood surrounding them, but didn't say anything.

"Err… Shino?" Naruto raised an eyebrow and watched his team-mate, who was still anything but fit. "Where are these female bugs now?"

"It's strange." He murmured cryptically and only caused more confusion to spread among his comrades.

"What is strange?" Naruto looked at him with big eyes, but the Aburame seemed too lost in thoughts still to enlighten him.

"… My insects are drawn into two different directions." He finally explained, before he pointed into the forest. "To the north and to the east."

"You mean they split up?" Kiba asked and patted Akamaru's back, which was on the same height as his hip.

"Possibly." Shino nodded and turned back around to the others.

"Is there any way for Karin to sense them?" Neji asked, wanting to make sure that they wouldn't end up pursuing a wrong track.

"No. Not in such small quantities. They are like any other insect." He explained and looked indecisively from north to east, while some scattered black insects buzzed through the air around him.

"So what do we do now?" Naruto wailed, fed up with having to make decisions all the time and then especially considering how much time they needed for them on average. "Should we split up, too?"

"Impossible. Shino is the only one who can track them." Neji sighed, but then turned towards the spot of wood, the Aburame had pointed at before. "You said they were drawn to the north…"

"Yes." Shino nodded; already sure that he knew what the Hyuga was hinting at. "It must be somewhere around the region where we fought them."

"I see." Neji nodded. "Then we should follow that trace. This way Kiba can take a look at the battlefield and look for their traces as well."

"Good, then let's go!" Naruto shouted enthusiastically and already stormed ahead, since he now knew where they were heading to and just didn't want to give them a chance to talk the whole thing through all over again.

"Naruto!" Kiba yelled, angry that the Uzumaki just took off like that, but then a mischievous look appeared on his face and he grinned at Akamaru, who then gave a bark, so Kiba leaped on his back and a few seconds later they were already on his tail. Neji and Shino however weren't even nearly as fit as the two of them, so after exchanging a quick look, they followed them, only at a much slower pace than them.

It didn't even take them nearly as long as the last time and so, after hardly more than two hours, they reached the clearing in which they had fought against Sasuke, or at least Naruto and Kiba did. Shino and Neji were still somewhere behind them, but the Inuzuka at once used the time to scan the area for all the traces he could find and it really wasn't a hard task. After all the weather conditions have been perfect and they had fought, so he practically found a bit of everything ranging from footprints to blood drops, hair, pieces of clothes and even skin at times, so their scent was more or less everywhere and once the rest of their team arrived as well, he had a fairly good idea of where they must have gone to.

"Their trace leads farther north." Kiba explained. "After the fight they took off south though, probably to lead you on a wrong track in case you should follow them, but they mainly moved in a wide arc back to where they also came from."

"Good. Your direction coincides with one of those Shino found, so we should follow that one." Neji's proposal received general agreement, so they took off without wasting any more time than they already had. To Naruto the whole area was familiar already, considering that he had spent nearly an entire day with turning over every single stone in sight and even looking under every bush for something useful and although he hadn't found his team-mate and her apparent kidnappers, he had nevertheless come across the second battlefield, not so far away from where they fought and which they now reached.

"This must be where they fought against Danzô's men." Naruto ventured a guess and looked at his team-leader expectantly, until he nodded in assent and then turned his attention to the Inuzuka.

"Kiba, can you find out how many people fought here?" The Hyuga asked, while he scanned the area with his Byakugan.

"Sure." Kiba shrugged and closed his eyes while he lifted his nose into the air and sniffed noisily. "Sasuke and Karin were here and then three other ones, although the trace of one of them is much fainter than the others and it comes from a different direction."

"That must have been the one who trapped us! I mean the one that took off right away." Naruto concluded.

"Right. It must have taken him about half an hour to get here and the other one kept us imprisoned for about one and a half hours, so their fight must have lasted for about an hour, but then only if they did fight right away." Neji murmured, not really convinced by his own theory.

"I don't think so. I mean an hour? That's pretty much – in that case it would probably look much different here." Kiba made a sweeping gesture to show that the area featured only very little signs of battle. Apart from some uprooted bushes and some broken off branches, there was hardly any damage done to the terrain – it probably looked perfectly normal to an untrained eye, but their eyes were anything but untrained.

"And he would have probably gotten hurt – they were ANBU after all, so he couldn't have gotten through it unscathed, but that's how it looked, didn't it?" Naruto raised an eyebrow and looked around as well, wondering what Danzô's men were doing now – whether they had found some cave where they could lick their wounds or if they had returned to Konoha to inform their leader about everything that happened and get support. Yet another thing to worry about, just great…

"They weren't unscathed. You could easily tell from their movements that they weren't." Neji objected, remembering how Sasuke had barely moved his left arm or his upper body in general and then there was a way people moved when they were in pain, a way they turned in order to avoid more damage to the injured spot, by covering it with an uninjured body part for example.

"But I mean their clothes. There wasn't even dirt on them, so the wounds can't have been from the fight against Danzô's men and then he called them cowards, right? So maybe they took off before the fight had actually gotten started." Naruto proposed, but then remembered that it was pretty pointless to talk about this, since it wouldn't help them with finding them. "Anyway, let's get going!"

"Hm." They nodded in agreement, before they took off again, with Kiba and Akamaru leading the way and Naruto barely a foot's length behind them, whereas the other two members of their team were so exhausted already, or rather exhausted still, that they'd really like to take a break, although it was only just noon.

They followed Kiba's trace now, but not for long. After barely twenty minutes he slowed down already and looked kind of wary, but as Naruto asked him what was going on he merely shrugged.

"I'm not sure. This is where their traces lead to."

"So you mean they are here?" Naruto's eyes widened at once and he wondered how he could have missed that, since he had definitely come across this spot. It was still in the wood, not so very far away from their battlefield and there was this weird tree that looked like it had arms and legs – he must have passed it at least five times, probably even more often, so how come he hadn't found them before?

"Hm." He shrugged again and kept his vigilant pupils fixed on a small hill. "In there." He pointed at some rocks, behind which the entrance had to be hidden, since it was where the traces were leading to.

"Really? Then let's go!" Naruto clapped his hands with a wide grin on his lips, but then a serious and yet excited expression appeared on his face, which equalled the one on Kiba's face.

"Shouldn't we wait for the others?" He asked and hopped off Akamaru's back and turned around, looking if he could catch a glimpse of their two team-mates, but as it seemed they were still lagging behind.

"Wait…?" Naruto moaned and rolled his eyes, tired of all the waiting although it didn't really make a difference now that they had found them.

"This is their hideout after all, so there might be some traps and then they could be here, although…"

"Although…?" The blonde raised an eyebrow, merely the tone in Kiba's voice making him sceptical already.

"No. I doubt they are in there…" The brown-haired man shook his head slowly and took another sniff of the fresh air.

"What? Are you sure? But I thought… where else should they be then?" The Uzumaki wailed. After his hopes have only just risen, disappointment caught up with him again.

"I don't know yet…" He murmured indecisively, but then gazed to the side as Shino and Neji finally showed up.

"So this is it." Neji said and scanned the hill in front of them with his Byakugan.

"Can you see them?" Naruto asked or rather the little remaining spark of hope in him that just wanted to have some reassurement did.

"… No." The Hyuga said after a while. "It's empty."

"Damn it!" The blonde cursed. "See that? If we hadn't waited so long we might have found them, but now they have gotten away."

"But what good would it have done us if we had found them before we would have been ready for an encounter?" Neji sighed, not even knowing how often he had said that already.

"Are there any traps?" Kiba asked, ignoring Naruto's last remark, since that was the easiest way to deal with him.

"No." The Hyuga shook his head. "No traps."

"Good – then let's take a look inside." Kiba nodded towards his team-mates with grim determination visible in his features.

"Okay." They all agreed, before Neji added: "It's safe down there, so we'll split up to be faster. Naruto, Kiba, you two will take care of the corridor leading to the right, Shino and I will take the one on the left. Just look for anything that might tell us what they are up to or where they've gone. "

"Understood."

It was a big underground base, but luckily most of the rooms were really spacious as well, which is why there weren't so many of them, which made searching through the whole construction much easier. Besides, there was hardly any furniture, no hiding places or anything, but also nothing that could be of any use to them. Most of the rooms were even so dusty that they doubted that they had been entered in the last years.

Every time they entered a new room, Akamaru started sneezing and after the first one or two times Kiba had been worried that he was getting ill and had again fretted over their hotelier and about how it was no wonder, since he's had to stay outside the whole night. With his thick fur it probably didn't matter to him, but when it came to his dog Kiba was like an overprotective mother and you could actually see how it took a weight off his mind, as he realized that it was just the dust and no pneumonia or bronchitis, or whatever other disease a huge, wolfish dog might catch when being exposed to a little drought.

They wasted about half an hour on searching through the rooms, before they went outside again, waiting for Shino and Neji to show up as well and hoping that they had found a bit more than them, but then finding more than nothing shouldn't be that much of a challenge. Maybe they had just been in the unused area, most of it had looked like store rooms, so who knew?

They came out merely ten minutes after them and were at once welcomed by the impatient Uzumaki. "And? Found anything? Because we didn't find a thing, just dust and cobwebs, so how about you?"

"Hn." Shino nodded and raised his fist in front of him, while Naruto and Kiba moved closer to have a look at it.

"What is this?" Naruto raised an eyebrow and now the Aburame finally opened his hand and they could see a black beetle lie there in his open palm and it didn't exactly look vital anymore. Nevertheless the sight of it didn't really enlighten them, so they just stared with big, expectant eyes at their team-mate, waiting for him to finally explain what his finding was supposed to mean.

"This is the one I attached to Suigetsu-"

"What? You can actually keep them apart?" Naruto gaped at the hooded-man not so sure if he should feel positively awed or if it was not rather disturbing to think that he had apparently so much free time that he had nothing better to do than to study his insects. What if he even gave them names? Considering just how many insects there were and how many new ones came to it from time to time he must know just about every name in circulation.

"It was in a water tank, Naruto. I only put two and two together." The Aburame said soberly and closed his hand again before he lowered it.

"Oh." That was kind of disenchanting, but Naruto tried hard not to let his disappointment show.

"So they didn't split up after all." Kiba said, sounding rather questioning though.

"Probably not." Neji shook his head. "So they must have moved to the east after all. What do you say, Kiba?"

"It's strange." Kiba scrunched his nose and switched his eyes to the entrance of their hideout again, before he brought his attention back to his team-mates. "It is obvious that they came here after the fight. Now with what you found even more so and yet…"

"And yet… what?" Naruto raised an eyebrow, seeing the thoughtful expression on the Inuzuka's face as a harbinger of yet more bad news.

"There are just no traces leaving it." He shrugged and looked around, wondering if he hadn't missed something; after all they couldn't just vanish.

"How is that possible?" The blonde asked and followed Kiba's gaze.

"It isn't. Or at least I thought so…" Kiba bit into his bottom lip and looked rather unhappy and yet lost in thoughts.

"But we still have Shino's trace, right?"

"Yes." Neji nodded with closed eyes, but then cringed slightly as Naruto raised his voice again. "Then why are we still standing here? Let's go!"

…

…

"I never learned to play an instrument. Is it hard?" Sayuri asked into the empty room, but all she received for a response was a light-hearted sequence of tones.

It was at least the fifth night she was spending here already, maybe even the sixth, she wasn't quite sure. When Suigetsu had come, he had told her that she had slept for two days, but she had been awake from time to time so she wasn't sure if the two days referred to the time she had slept and woken up as Sasuke had been in her room or when Suigetsu had woken her by slamming the door against her head.

Either way, she had been here for far too long and there was no sign of a change. No one had found her yet and her captors seemed to have forgotten her, except for those times when they shoved a plate of food into her room or the second time Karin had come here to examine her. It was the third night now in which she was talking to that flute player. He didn't always answer her though, at least not with words, but he always reacted to her in a way.

The first time she's heard his voice, she had been really scared, but by now she was convinced that she was just mad and that he wasn't really there, which should actually be all the more reason for alarm, but somehow it wasn't. She was sure that he was merely some kind of phantom sprung from her desire to talk to someone about all these things and since she would neither talk to Suigetsu nor Karin, inventing someone had been the only way. Although she couldn't really remember the process of making something like this up, but it must have happened somewhat around the time she had realized that she was locked in here, all by herself. And now she wasn't alone any more, the way schizophrenics are never alone and yet this thought wasn't really comforting so she avoided thinking about it.

She sat there with her back leaning against the door, wearing all the clothes she's had there in her backpack and then also with her blanket wrapped around her shoulders. All the walls and the floor were made of stone and there wasn't a single window, so this room or rather dungeon was probably somewhere underground and had presumably never experienced temperatures above 10°C.

He always came at night – or at least she was sure that it was night because the temperature dropped even lower. Maybe it was a ghost – that flute player – ghosts are said to draw energy from their surroundings when they materialize, which would explain the coldness and that no one but her heard it, so maybe she hadn't lost it after all – too bad only, that she didn't believe in ghosts.

"Do you have a name?"

Some deeper notes. She had found out by now that rising tones meant yes and falling ones no and that whenever an answer could be expressed by playing a certain mood he'd do so and she was only just beginning to figure out a way to get a verbal response. Hadn't worked often yet, but it was getting better – although most of the time it was probably just luck.

"Can I name you?"

Rising notes. A yes. She could already start thinking about names, if she didn't want to leave it to Suigetsu. But she wouldn't. She had so much time here, just so much time for thinking, when that was about the last thing she wanted to do, so instead of thinking about these great, scary, future-related topics, she rather left it at trivial things that didn't pose a threat to her mental condition.

"Temaki." She said the first thing that came into her mind and looked down at her growling stomach, when she heard some quiet chuckles on the other side of the door and turned her head around a bit, although it didn't help anything since there was the door and she wasn't blessed with x-ray eyes – at least no very efficient ones.

"Hungry?" He asked in his deep voice. It was somewhat toneless in a way, like nothing she had ever heard and the second he finished talking she could never recall how exactly his voice had sounded; her imagination never reached up to the original, which was strange since the original was a part of her imagination as well.

"Yes." She nodded miserably and wrapped her arms around her drawn up knees, trying to dampen the sound of her growling stomach this way. Considering how many layers of clothes and blankets covered it, it shouldn't be audible anyway, same as her voice. She was talking so quietly that actually no one on the other side of the door should be able to hear it, which only strengthened her in her belief that she was talking to herself.

"Then why don't you eat?"

"Yuck." She grimaced and looked at the rim of the plate which protruded over the edge of the table, actually glad that she couldn't see its contents from down here, because they looked really gross. "I'd rather not. I don't even know what it is. It could be anything after twelve hours of cooking."

And she really meant that. It was just some kind of slimy pulp in an indefinable colour, something verging on gray, green, brown and orange. Maybe it was Karin who cooked it and in that case it might even be poisoned. It was the same every day and she hadn't eaten it a single time. Up to now she's still had enough food in her backpack, so she hasn't been dependent on that stuff yet, but this morning she's eaten the last bit of her own provisions and now she was hungry and had nothing really to distract herself from it. Except for thinking about motherhood maybe, or thinking about how the father of her unborn child hadn't even shown up here and was keeping her imprisoned in a windowless fridge, with food that looked as if it had been eaten already and no company except for a figment of her own imagination.

"Keep in mind, you're eating for two now."

"Hmpf." She frowned and let her head fall back against the door, as the flute set in again.

_Eating for two_. Lately she had barely eaten enough for a single person, that can't have been healthy. Neither for her nor for the baby. And if her diet wasn't enough there were just so many other things. She had been in so much stress lately, had worked past exhaustion, just so that she wouldn't have free time in which she could fall back into that looming abyss of depression. She had even drunken something – not much, but every drop is harmful, isn't it? And what about her excessive consumption of painkillers, soldier pills etc.? Not to mention this mission…

She had tortured herself over days, had ignored all the distress signals of her body and quenched them with drugs. There has even been some kind of dull pain in her belly, but she had blamed it on PMS, when in reality it must have been the baby that was suffering, just because she hadn't taken enough care of herself. It wasn't even born yet and she was already ruining its life. What if it would be born with a handicap? A weak immune system? Asthma? A heart failure? Or what if it had ADHD? Could she handle a tiny thunderstorm whirring all around her while bombarding her with questions and food from time to time? Just imagine it would be a bleeder – she had no direct influence on that, except for maybe carrying the gene responsible for it and passing it on to her offspring. If she wasn't mistaken it was passed on by the mother, so in a way it would be her fault after all, but that wasn't what she was getting at. It was about the responsibility, the dangers – she couldn't permit herself a second of inattention, a tiny bit of negligence – what a great threat a simple stone could pose! And what should she do when it started teething? How could she possibly keep those tiny, sharp milk teeth from piercing through its tender gum?

How were things supposed to be from now on anyway? Would Sasuke just wait for her to give birth and then vanish with the baby or would he expect her to take care of it, while he just kept on fathering baby after baby, just for the fun of it and to achieve his goal of resurrecting his clan? He merely wanted an heir not an actual child, he didn't care about the baby, as long as it was alive, otherwise he would be here now and would have at least talked to her or told her about it himself. It still bothered her that it had been Karin of all people, who had informed her that she was pregnant. Something as crucial as this and it had been the person she hated the most who told her about it.

"I can't be a mother." She shook her head, again feeling that by now familiar sense of panic rise up from her guts, right where the reason for it was nested, but she had almost gotten used to it, so the sensation wasn't as overwhelming as at the beginning. "It doesn't work. I can't even handle my dog. Whenever I have no time I pass him on to someone else. Not even cactuses make it over two weeks in my care, so how am I supposed to bring a baby through an entire life?"

No response. He didn't reply to the questions she had no answers to herself. Surprise, surprise. But the music became more upbeat now, trying to mock her and her depressive mood and her fear of the future, fear of all the responsibility, fear of the baby itself. She didn't like babies and babies didn't like her, that's just how it was, case closed.

A couple of months ago, in the hospital, they had been short of nurses, so Tsunade had sent her to the nursery ward. And there she had been in this large room, cramped with incubators and cots and she had been surrounded by an army of tiny little people. She had been kind of sceptical about this task because she really wasn't good with babies and had no experience with them, but at the beginning everything had been just fine.

They had all lain there in their beds, fast asleep and snoring lightly or making gurgling sounds in their dreams and they had just been so tiny and peaceful and cute and she had actually felt tempted to walk from bed to bed and emit those typical, touched '_Oh's_' and '_Ah's_' whenever they even did so little as wrinkling their noses…

However short before she would have gotten completely soppy because of their infantile charm, which seemed to have had a brain squashing effect on her, one of them had started crying and like 5 seconds later all the others had done so too – and then it was over, with their cuteness…

They had looked like little gremlins with their wide open mouths, their bright red heads and all the wrinkles. She had run from bed to bed, trying to get them to stop screaming, but they just wouldn't and she became really desperate and would have best liked to hold their mouths shut, but neither did she have that many hands, nor was it an appropriate action for dealing with babies, even though in that second it was mainly the first point which had kept her from doing so and she would have best liked to just sit down on the ground and cry along with them, mourn the loss of her nerves…

After that day she had gone to Tsunade and begged her never to do anything like that to her again and that had just been three hours, but being a mother was a life-long duty. What would she do if she'd lie in bed and every time her eyes fell shut the baby would start screaming. What if she'd be so tired and strung out that the lack of sleep would lead her to a knee-jerk reaction and before she'd know what was going on she'd find herself stand at the crib and press a pillow on the baby's – _her_ baby's face.

She had read about such things, about women who had smothered their little darling, because it never stopped screaming; had seen some mothers who had looked like they were on drugs and spent their days with sliced onions lying on their eyes, when in reality it were just the joys of maternity. And those had been women who had a husband, who relieved them a little from time to time, whereas when she thought about her future she just couldn't see Sasuke in it, at least not in a paternal role, but then she couldn't see herself in a maternal role either.

She just wasn't made to be a mother. She didn't even know what a mother was like, since she didn't remember her own one and there has never been a woman in her life who might have taken her place, so she didn't have a role model she could look up to.

She was thrown in at the deep end, without any prior warning – not even an explanation of how it could have come to it, but it was too late now anyway. It wouldn't change anything, she'd have to learn to cope with the situation, whether she wanted to or not. And honestly, she'd rather have another dog or a cat maybe than a baby – if she was lucky she might find someone who was willing to change… Or perhaps Sasuke would really just take it with him right after the birth and would spare her all the trouble, but she didn't know how she would think about this whole thing in a couple of months. In case she should actually develop maternal feelings, which seemed to lie within the realms of the impossible right now, but then she still didn't really feel pregnant, so where should these feelings come from?

She did believe it by now, there have been enough symptoms, there still were enough, though rather alarming ones. From time to time she felt a twinge in her abdomen, most often just lightly, but at times it was actually painful, especially when she had moved too much during her fruitless attempts at finding a way out of this room.

She hadn't told Karin about that; she hadn't told her anything in general. Like it was any of her business… If Sasuke wanted to know anything, then he should come here himself, instead of sending his vassals, but he didn't. It was obvious that he was avoiding her, but then he had told her that she made him sick, so why should it surprise her?

By now she understood though why he was angry; after all, he believed she had wanted to hide the baby from him. Like really, why should she have done that? Because she was so keen on being a mother that she wanted the baby all to herself? She didn't understand his way of thinking, but well, she didn't understand him in general, his talk about Konoha being to blame for the death of his clan and so on and this was why he left. That was the reason she had tried so hard to unravel. She would have never figured that out by herself, but then it hardly made any sense so how could she have thought of it?

"I'm tired." She sighed and rose to her feet. She felt constantly tired, just because she was constantly bored. There wasn't anything in this room she could use to kill time, except for finding an escape, which she had tried often enough but there just wasn't one, or maybe analysing what that food was, but she rather gave it a wide berth, lest it would jump into her face and cause her skin to peel off her bones.

The music became calmer now, playing a sweet, soothing lullaby, although that wouldn't have been necessary, falling asleep came almost naturally lately, but never for long, she hardly ever slept more than two or three hours at a stretch, but since she had nothing better to do, she could fill her days with numerous little naps at least.

She walked to her bed and sank down on it, before she picked up a stone and carved the sixth line into the wall, like some kind of prisoner, but then that's exactly what she was…

Her tired eyes fell shut slowly and it took merely another four or five notes of the imaginary flute for her to fall asleep. Not for long though, or at least she doubted so. She didn't feel any less tired as her stomach growled her awake and it was so empty that there was some kind of undertow and in case she wouldn't fill it soon, it would probably swallow her up. It actually hurt when she moved in the wrong way, so it couldn't contain anything but acid.

She sat up slowly and turned her head towards the table, already with a disgusted look on her face. The plate was still standing where it used to stand, so it can't have grown feet yet and bunked off.

She rose to her feet and took some hesitant steps towards the plate, the way you might approach a savage dog, but then it really did look utterly vicious. With two fingers she clasped the upper tip of the spoon that stuck out of it and pulled it out of the ominous pulp, which didn't seem like it would let go of the spoon voluntarily.

It kept sticking to it, until she had lifted it high enough that a big chunk tore off, but was still connected to the rest by some thin threads, like it was melted cheese or maybe liquid glue. Was this even eatable? Just because it was on a plate and there was a spoon in it, didn't mean that it was actually food. Maybe it was some kind of sealing compound she could use for the leaking cracks in the wall, or she could use it as a missile the next time Karin came here, maybe she could actually make an escape then. With that stuff in her face she should be distracted long enough so that she could get out of here. As if…

Another weary sigh escaped her lips, as she dropped the wooden spoon again. _Wood_ – they wouldn't even give her a porcelain or steel one, as if she could use it as a weapon or a shovel maybe.

She gripped for the rim of the plate and lifted it up, before she walked back to her bed and took a seat, putting the plate down on the ground beside it. She was hungry alright but not desperate enough to eat that, so she just sat there and stared at the plate, trying to get at least used to the look of it, so she'd be a little less disgusted by it, but it didn't really work.

No matter how hard she tried, it just wouldn't turn into a five-star menu, not even a one-star canteen one. She had enough imagination to invent an imaginary friend, but not enough to fool herself into thinking this might actually be tasty.

She kept sitting there like this for about an hour, trying her best to stare that stuff into a chocolate cake or anything else desirable, which wasn't good, since thinking about what she'd like to eat now, just made her all the hungrier and it felt like her stomach was in the process of digesting itself and she wondered if that was another pregnancy thing.

She had gotten along with no food for much longer without any problems and now it was so bad, that she even thought of scratching the moss and fern out of the cracks between the stones and eat that, since she at least knew what that was and you could say it counted to the category of vegetables, so it should be a little bit healthy at least.

Or maybe not.

But she couldn't imagine they would give her poisoned or rotten food, after all she was having Sasuke's baby, so it was in his interest to keep her healthy and apparently that's what he meant to do – why else should he send Karin here to examine her, even though she obviously didn't even know what to do herself?

Although every single fibre in her body screamed and revolted, she took up the spoon, closed her eyes and pinched her nose shut, just to be on the safe side, before she took a bite of substance x. followed by another one and yet another one, quickly, before any gag reflexes or nausea could get the better of her, or before she had a chance to taste it, which she had managed to avoid up to now, but she couldn't delay it forever.

Once the spoon only scratched at the thin steel plate, she tried her best in getting even the last bits out of her mouth and off her tongue before she dared to remove her fingers from her nose and inhale again.

She wished she hadn't done it.

She could taste it now. It was covering her tongue like a coat and tasted bitter, a bit like curd, just awful. She took the bottle Suigetsu had left here and started bubbling with water, before she spat it back on the plate. Her chest started heaving painfully and the heavy mass that had now settled in her stomach seemed to be churning, incompatible with her organs.

Then, before she even knew what happened, she was already hanging over the toilet bowl, getting rid of her insides in the least agreeable way. The sickness came over her in successive surges, always leaving her feel like a weak, shivering mess once it ebbed away. She only had enough strength in her limbs to keep clinging to the cold porcelain rim, like it was a lifebuoy and to her it actually was one at the moment.

Every time it was over and a sense of relief was just about to distract her from exhaustion and that disgusting burning in her throat, it would start all over again. In the last weeks, she had felt like puking often enough, but she had never done it, so why now?

Maybe now that she knew she was pregnant she didn't even bother to fight it or the food has really been poisoned and this was a real food poisoning now and not mere morning sickness, or maybe a mixture of both.

After a quarter of an hour, her body had apparently ridded itself of all the remnants of her meal, and the funny thing was that as it came out it looked the same way it had as it came in – she just hoped she had really been the first one to eat it. Yuck. New thoughts. Why was she staring into the toilet anyway? She really shouldn't watch it this closely, that didn't help it at all, so she gathered her last energy to reach up and flush the toilet, but it must have been too late. Even while the water was still running she felt sick again, although her stomach was entirely empty already.

"Oh, am I interrupting."

She actually managed to lift her head a bit and look over her shoulder into the direction of the door, but the wall was in the way, so she couldn't see anyone, although she very well knew that it was Suigetsu – he just had a talent for coming in the worst possible moments and then making them even worse through his presence.

"Haha – look at you." He grinned and just walked around the wall that was actually supposed to give her some privacy, but he obviously didn't care about that. "Still convinced that you're not pregnant?"

Actually she wanted to turn around and tell him to get out of here, but her mouth was busy with something else and just couldn't be moved to emit anything but some retching noises. She could sense Suigetsu there right behind her and was sure that he was peeking over her head into the toilet, which would also explain the disgusted sound he let out.

"Ugh. Morning sickness, huh?" He asked completely casual, as if he actually expected her to answer, while he took a step back and leaped onto the table/cabinet-thing next to the sink, to have a seat in the front row and watch her slowly dissolve from the inside to the outside. "A bit late for that, if you ask me – it's almost three o'clock."

Did he expect her to start laughing now? She wished he'd just go away again. This was worse enough all by herself, she didn't need someone to watch her and humiliate her to crown it all. She couldn't concentrate on anything but the toilet bowl anyway, it was hard to keep upright, especially with how her stomach was aching now, but if she'd let go or even did so little as loosen her grasp, she'd most likely slump down and run the risk of choking on her own stomach contents and that really wasn't the way she wanted to leave this world.

"Sheesh – that doesn't really sound nice, can't you be a little… well… less gross?" The Houzuki asked and grimaced. "What are you doing here all day anyway? I mean you can't hang there forever, can you? At some point you got to be empty, right?"

She was long past being empty already, but that didn't seem to be an obstacle… Still she was out of one of these sickness-phases again and now just felt ordinarily miserable. She didn't dare to move away from the toilet yet, although the fact that Suigetsu was watching her, clearly bothered her, but she had far worse things to worry about. She hoped it was over now, just like every time she came into one of these intervals, but well, hoping hadn't done her any good yet – what a vicious stuff that must have been.

"Finished?" He asked after she had just sat there with her arms folded on the toilet bowl and her forehead resting on them. "You're not gonna fall asleep there, are you? Cuz that would be kinda… yuck."

"Go away." She whimpered, her voice sounding coarse and craggy, the stomach acid must have corroded her throat – at least that's what it felt like.

"Ah, c'mon. I know you don't mean that. You are bored. I am bored and well – you don't have anything better to do, do you? I mean except for that gross pregnancy stuff." He grinned and scratched the back of his head, while Sayuri now finally dared to stand up and at once wrapped one arm around her stomach, before she used the other one to flush the toilet and then flush it yet again to get rid of that disgusting smell.

Without looking at the Houzuki, which was hard since he was right in front of her, she walked to the sink and started rinsing her mouth for at least two full minutes. The sour taste was still there, but at some point it just didn't make any difference any more, so she might as well leave it.

"Does that happen every morning? I think that would bother me…" He said in a musing voice, while Sayuri just glared at him and reached for the bucket under the sink, before she staggered past him and went back to her bed, the Houzuki always behind her.

"Not really talkative, huh?" Suigetsu asked in that amused tone, while Sayuri just kicked the now empty plate away and caused her foot to get soaked by the water she had just spat into it. She moaned in annoyance and dropped the bucket on the ground, before she sat down on the futon and leaned back against the wall.

"And grumpy as well – must be mood swings, eh? But then after you've just emptied yourself it's quite understandable… Say, how do you feel now?"

"Like a towel." She sighed, wondering why she even bothered to talk to him, especially considering how much pain it caused her – not only the talking itself but also bearing his company.

"What?"

"Soaked, wrung out and all my insides seem to be twisted into a tight knot."

"Haha that's what I like about you so much… you have such a hyperbolic imagination." He chuckled, while Sayuri just rolled her eyes and felt ready to go back to sleep, although she was again hungry, but then eating was about the last thing she wanted to do right now.

"What do you want here, Suigetsu?"

"Straight to the point, eh? Okay, I want to make a deal."

"_Deal_?" She raised an eyebrow and watched how the Houzuki walked to the table in the middle of the room and leaned against its edge.

"Yep. It's about the baby." He winked at her and crossed his arms behind his head. "I'll choose the name, become its godfather, idol and I'll teach it how to use a sword – since Sasuke's fidgeting can be hardly seen as swordsmanship."

"That sounds like you're already presuming that it's gonna be a boy." Sayuri murmured in a worn-out voice and took her water bottle to drink something.

"Well of course it's gonna be a boy – can you imagine Sasuke with a little girl?" He smirked cheekily, apparently well able to imagine it – at least that would explain why he looked so amused, although he rarely ever looked different.

"Just because you can't imagine it, doesn't mean it won't happen – things don't work this way."

"That's what you say – we'll talk again in a couple of months, but anyway now, what do you say?"

"And what's in it for me?" She raised an eyebrow and watched how Suigetsu lowered his head and chuckled quietly.

"I'll keep you company." He looked up again through the curtain of his silver-white hair and he actually seemed serious about that.

"You know, actually when you make a deal you give the other person something they want and not the opposite…"

"Oh you will want my company." He said with utter conviction. "We'll stay here for quite some time, until everyone is completely healed, so what will you do in the meantime, when you're here all by yourself?"

"…"

"I could even have a talk with Sasuke. You know he still thinks you kept this whole pregnancy-thing secret from him, that's why he is so grumpy, but you didn't right? I mean you passed out and stuff, you'd have to be a formidable actress to fake that and well… I don't know… you're just not. You actually turned blue – maybe it would help if Sasuke got to know of that…"

"I don't care what he knows or what he thinks." She murmured in a grim voice and stared at her knees. If that's how Sasuke thought about her then that's that, but still Suigetsu was probably right about that company thing. Just six days here, of which she had merely experienced four consciously and she was already talking to herself – how would it be if she had to stay in here much longer? Another week maybe, or what if it was for months? Sasuke wouldn't let her go before the baby was born, but he couldn't seriously think of locking her in this room until then.

"I don't believe you." He shrugged and now crossed his arms in front of his chest, while scrutinizing her thoroughly. "If you really didn't, you wouldn't have searched him and well you wouldn't have his baby then." He winked at her with a wide grin on his face. "I don't know what it is about Sasuke, but somehow he has a way of making women want to have his children."

"Tze… _want_?"

Who was talking about wanting here? She clearly hadn't wanted it. Still didn't want it. Had told him so often enough and yet, in spite of how careful and meticulous she had been when it came to contraception, she was pregnant and not only was this about the worst possible thing that could have happened to her, but then it had also happened at the worst possible time.

She wondered how things would have been if she had known it earlier, before all of this had gotten started. Wondered how his face would have looked when she had told him, the way it was supposed to be. She should have been the one to tell others and not the other way around, but as it seemed everyone had known it before her. Even Sasuke had known it before her and now all she saw was that cold glare in his eyes, right before he had turned his back on her, but in other circumstances…

Would he have been glad?

Would he have smiled?

Would he have maybe looked forward to being a father and would have eased her anxieties by telling her he would be with her. Would stay with her and not leave her alone to go through all this by herself in this seclusion chamber. Well she wasn't all alone, she could let herself in for a deal that would promise her company.

"What is Sasuke up to anyway?"

"Thought you don't care?" He raised an eyebrow and grinned smugly, displaying a row of sharp, white teeth.

"Suigetsu…" Sayuri moaned impatiently and ran a hand through her tousled hair.

"You should make up your mind from time to time. Anyway… he plans to attack Konoha."

"He _what_?" Sayuri's eyes widened in shock and she kept staring at the wide grin on Suigetsu's face.

"Didn't he tell you?" He asked, sounding somewhat sceptical.

"He didn't tell me a thing!" Sayuri wailed and sat up straight, before she carried on in an urgent voice: "This is insane! Why would he attack Konoha?"

"Well… how about our deal? Are you in or not?"

"What?" She exclaimed incredulously. "Err… I'll think about it, but please tell me why!"

"Fine – I'll give you some time to make your decision." He pushed himself off the table and walked towards the door.

"Wait! You can't do that!" Sayuri tried to hold him back, but he was already at the door, but now turned around to look at her.

"Why so impatient? You have plenty of time. See ya." He winked at her with a cheeky grin on his face, before he walked out of the door and let it fall shut behind him.

She couldn't believe this guy. How could he first stir up her curiosity and then leave like that? Especially considering what this was about. She couldn't believe that Sasuke actually thought of attacking Konoha. He couldn't seriously think that he, Karin and Suigetsu would stand even the ghost of a chance against an entire village. And why would he want that anyway?

She remembered what he said about Konoha being to blame for the death of his family, but just what would lead him to think so? Itachi has been the one who murdered his entire clan, Sasuke had seen it with his own eyes, so what was this all about? Just what in the world was going on in his head?

Suigetsu had been right; she really had loads and loads of time to rack her brains about this whole thing. About this and so many other things, she was no closer to understand either, which mainly led to frustration. It didn't even distract her from her empty stomach and still that disgusting taste in her mouth.

There was a new plate standing right beside her door. Someone had shoved it inside, just like always, but she didn't know who and this time she hadn't bothered to pick it up and put it on the table. She wouldn't eat it anyway and didn't even think about maybe doing it, so where was the point?

She had barely moved in the last hours, except for having started rocking back and forth to ease the cramps in her acidified stomach and eventually lying down to pursue her favourite occupation, which would be sleeping, the only real distraction from all this she was granted.

She woke to the sounds of the flute again so it must have been night already and she had slept through the whole day. Not that she was sorry about it; she doubted she had missed anything. She slowly sat up, waiting for her circulation to stabilize, before she wrapped her blanket around her shoulders and rose to her feet.

Actually it was pointless, she could just as well talk from here to whoever was not sitting there, as from there at the door, but if she'd approach matters like that she wouldn't have a single reason to leave her bed at all, except for using the toilet maybe.

Just as always she walked to the door and leaned her back against it, before she slid down and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"It's this late again, huh?" She smiled blandly and gazed to the side, at the by now two plates of indefinable content. The music rose again, playing a quicker melody.

"Today really sucked." She sighed. "Same as yesterday and the day before that… You think he'll ever let me out of here again?"

The music stopped now, so she perked her ears, knowing that she'd get a real answer now and she didn't have to wait long.

"The question is if that's what you really want." That indefinable voice said and at once caused a frown to appear on Sayuri's face.

"Of course I want it."

"And what then? What will you do all by yourself with a baby?"

The word abortion dinned through her head, but was at once drowned out by a thunderous choir of no's, but still its echo remained and she wondered if it wouldn't be better for the baby to never be born at all. What kind of life would it lead? She was a walking catastrophe, she couldn't even look after herself so how was she supposed to look after a baby and then Sasuke… If he really wanted to attack Konoha he was as good as dead already, but even if not, as a nuke-nin he just wasn't able to bring up a child.

"It doesn't matter." She shook her head slowly and stared with an empty gaze at the table. "It's a hopeless cause anyway. I just need to get away from here…"

"Then why don't you leave?

"Maybe because the door is locked…?" She curled her lips, again overcome by frustration.

"Is it really?" The voice was followed by a quiet chuckle, which drowned out slowly but surely. Sayuri raised an eyebrow and fought the urge to try the door handle, but did it anyway. She reached up and fondled for it, until she felt the cold metal under her palm, so she closed her hand around it and gave it a pull, only to find it locked, just as she had expected.

"Yeah, it is…" She grimaced in frustration and waited for some kind of reaction, but nothing came, neither a musical nor a verbal response.

"Hey?" She frowned and turned her head around out of habit, although it didn't help her anything. "Still there?"

Nothing. This was new. Up to now their conversation had always been ended by her when she had gone to sleep, so she had never directly witnessed it. Just great. Now she was double alone here, with not even herself to keep her company any longer, because she was still sure that she was talking to herself. A trick of her own brain. The human mind is like an iceberg, so it should be possible for the little visible peak to be fooled by the enormous submerged root, without even noticing it, right?

"Pfft… fine then." She rolled her eyes, angry at herself and the food and the door and all the walls just for being there.

She rose up again with a pout on her face, actually feeling offended by the lack of response and slouched back to her bed. What else was there to do? She collapsed onto the lumpy futon, which smelt of damp linen and folded her hands over her eyes.

She didn't feel tired for a change, but then she was awake since only about fifteen minutes now. So what should she do now? She had no one to talk, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat and she was in the process of being swallowed up by boredom.

Then she heard a clicking, sounding so much louder than it actually was as it dinned through the quietness. She slowly lowered her hands and let them fall onto her pillow right next to her face, before she gazed to the side, at the source of the sound and saw that a narrow frame of light surrounded the door.

It was open.

…

…


	30. Hurt

_Hello Everyone. Really sorry it took so long this time. I've had so much to do lately that I just couldn't keep up with all the work, but I'll try my best not to let that happen again. _

_Now then, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter =)_

**30.**** Hurt**

She couldn't believe it. The door was open. Definitely. Where else should the light come from? Or was this just another trick of her mind?

A few minutes ago she had still talked about how she wanted to get out of here and now she apparently could. It was too weird to be a mere coincidence. Was that voice maybe not limited to her imagination and there has actually been someone? Some kind of secret ally?

She had no idea where they were and how many people there were in here. Up to now she had been sure that it was just the four of them, but what if she had been mistaken?

This wasn't a mere cave or anything, but an actual building. It could be one of Orochimaru's old bases; the interior design clearly looked like it, so maybe there were some more people. Orochimaru's former supporters and assistants, who were still loyal to him and to Sasuke, just like Karin, or maybe just some old captives or his test subjects, who had remained in this hideout, even after his death, passing through the lonely corridors of this hideout like ghosts, who were bound to this place, because of all the pain they suffered here. Or perhaps not just some make-believe ghosts, but the real deal after all…

Nah – she had dismissed that idea already, but nevertheless she couldn't believe it.

A shadow of scepticism lurked in her grey-blue eyes and actually managed to expel all signs of hunger and weariness from them. In fact she felt wide awake now, driven by curiosity, maybe even hope. She shouldn't hope. Hoping increases the chance of disappointment and in her current situation, she really couldn't need that. Therefore she slowly rose to her feet, while telling herself that she was just crazy and that the door was locked anyway and similar things.

Without even daring to blink she walked towards the door, afraid that the light would just vanish if she took her eyes off it for a second. Once she had reached it, her eyes were already painfully dry, but the dim, white light was still there, streaming through the crack of the slightly open door.

She cautiously reached up to touch the rough wood, needing the physical contact in order to really believe it and as she gave it a light push, it actually moved under her touch.

This wasn't her imagination – against expectation the door was actually open.

Not even ten minutes ago she had tested it and it had been locked and now it had literally opened by itself – how creepy was that?

This called for a change of plans now. There was no more time for comforting pessimism, but no time for hope either. This was her chance to escape, so she'd have to think rationally about what to do now and quickly, before someone would notice it and just slam the door in her face again.

So then, just because she was no longer locked in this cell didn't mean she was out of here yet. She first had to make her way out of this unknown building that could be a monumental anthill-labyrinth-thing for all she knew and then she'd have to get past the people in here and again she had no idea just how many that were, but either way, getting past the three whom she knew of would be tricky enough.

She didn't want to use the word impossible, although she knew that's what it was. After all there was Karin. In the time she had been in Konoha she had gained a reputation as the best sensor the Hidden Leaf has ever seen. How was she supposed to get out of here without her noticing it?

Maybe she was busy with cooking a revolting meal for her at the moment, or some other things she'd much rather not think about at the moment or well… ever.

But what if Karin would just act ignorant or even help her escape? It wasn't really a secret that the redhead didn't like her and wanted to get rid of her – for good at best. Nevertheless she was sure that she wouldn't do her the favour of turning a blind eye on her escape, so she could actually spare herself the trouble, close the door herself and go back to sleep.

But what if she was wrong?

If she could at least get out of here, maybe she'd be able to run into someone and tell that person to inform Konoha about her being here, or she could leave some traces for her team, before they'd find her and drag her back here.

These little maybe's kept her from giving up right away. It was really worth a try, even if she should fail, what could they possibly do?

Lock her in a room without any windows and repulsive food?

Haha. It couldn't get worse than this: After all she was still pregnant with Sasuke's baby, so they wouldn't torture her or leave her here to starve, although that's actually what they did at the moment, but they didn't intend it that way… Probably…

Once she had made up her mind, she took a deep breath, trying to gather all her courage and get her head clear, so she'd be able to think calmly and rationally through whatever might happen.

When she was about as prepared as she could possibly get, she gave the door another light push, just enough so she could peek through the crack and have a look at what it was like on the other side of the wood.

There was a long, dim corridor, with many branches and doors, appearing like narrow pencil strokes in the distance. The floor and the walls were made of the same stone as the ones in her room and there were some scattered light bulbs hanging down from the ceiling. Most of them were defect and looked like nooses. Maybe a few of them actually were some, who knew? It would definitely fit to the place. At least if this place was what she thought it was, but that wasn't important now.

Important was that it was just huge, so huge that it made her heart sink to even think of how she was supposed to find a way out of here. The side-passages and doorways could serve as hiding places, but not only for her but also for them. They could theoretically be behind every door, could come out of every corridor, every single room here could be filled with people, since, as she already pointed out, she had no idea just how many people there were in here.

She swallowed hard, trying to get rid of that lump in her throat, before she closed her eyes and fully concentrated on her hearing and on sensing any chakras, as best as she was able to do so.

There was nothing.

At least her immediate surroundings were free of any people, so she grew a bit bolder and peeked her head around the door to have a look at the other side of the corridor. It looked like a mirror image of the half she had seen already, just an unfathomably large number of doors and apparently no end to them.

She hadn't picked up anything of how they had brought her here, so she didn't even know in which direction the exit was. What if she was really in a cellar and the only way out was somewhere on the upper floors? Where should she go now? To the left or to the right? A fifty-fifty chance of being wrong. The pressure of decision making…

She went to the right at a venture. Actually her intuition would have led her to the left, but the right side felt safer. Maybe because it was the first side she had seen as she had peeked out of the room and has still had some cover from the door or maybe because she just didn't trust her own intuition, since up to now it hasn't really been reliable…

The first step was the most nerve-wracking one. Adrenaline exploded like fireworks in her head, sparking though her whole body, her ears filled with the quick thumps of her own heartbeat. How was she supposed to hear any steps or voices when her heart was beating like a volley of cannon-balls?

She did her best to silence her screaming nerves and slipped into the first side-corridor she came across, unnoticed for the time being. She wouldn't stay in the same hallway her room was in, that would be far too obvious and since she didn't know where she was heading to anyway, she might as well not know so at a place that was a bit farther away from the place she was expected to be at… Seemed pretty logic to her, although the more corners she took, the more likely she was to get lost, but since she was actually lost from the start and wouldn't voluntarily return to the room she had apparently spent the last six days in, it didn't really matter.

Regardless of which way she went and how many corners she turned, the scenery remained identical.

Just what was this place?

The longer she kept on straying through hallway after hallway, the more anxious she became and while she had still been overly careful at the beginning and had looked around each corner for minutes, until she was sure that there really was no one near, her steps had now become much faster and she wasn't even nearly as vigilant as she ought to be, considering where she was.

She must have passed through at least ten corridors already and yet there were no visible alterations in her surroundings. There was always the same number of doors and side-corridors (although she hadn't counted them), the same lack of a wall that would mark the end of the hallway, the same dark-grey stones on the floor, the same dark-grey stones on the walls – even the sequence of working and defect light bulbs was identical!

Her steps had already quickened to a half-run, about as much as she could muster with her injured leg, when that last thought caused her to slow down again. She came to a stop right in the middle of the corridor, visible for anyone who might pass her, but she didn't care. She turned a slow circle, carefully scrutinizing her surroundings.

The ground was perfectly even and yet she couldn't see an end to the hall which was almost impossible, since in a flat terrain the human eye has a range of sight of roughly three to four kilometres, depending on the lighting and air contamination and so on, so it was much less here, but nevertheless that would mean that one corridor was at least a kilometre long probably even longer and she just couldn't imagine that.

With a frown on her face she looked at the ceiling, at the numerous light bulbs, before she shook her head again and moved her hands up until they were on a level with her face, both her forefingers touching each other.

"_Kai_." She squeezed her eyes shut and temporarily disrupted the chakra flow in her body, but when she opened them again, she found everything still looking the same way it had before. It had taken her uncommonly long to figure out that this had to be a Genjutsu, it had seemed like the only possible and actually quite obvious solution, but now it looked like she had been mistaken after all.

She turned in a slow circle again, cautiously assessing her surroundings, looking for any changes, but there were still the numerous doors, the stone blocks, the light bulbs and then the half-open door behind her.

Her eyes widened slightly as she saw it, the word '_caught'_ dinning through her head, but then a relieved sigh put an end to her neurones pouring even more adrenaline into her body.

This was her room.

So she had been right after all. The second she had set a foot out of her room, she must have gotten caught in a Genjutsu and had just stood here like a salt-pillar, while imagining to be exploring this building. Who knew how long she had been standing here? She should get away as soon as possible, or she would have blown her chance before it had actually been there.

She took another deep breath and pushed the door shut, not completely though, just so that it looked closed, before she took a turn to the left, following her first intuition after all, but now because of the bad experience she had made with the right way. Imagined or not.

She did it like before and crept out of the aisle as soon as she could and to her great relief, the narrow passage she passed through ended in a broader corridor, almost like a hall, which meant it looked different, which was a good thing, but then spacious and empty as it was, it hardly provided any cover, so that wasn't so favourable after all.

After peeking into all directions to make sure there was no one there, she scurried around the corner and into the next passage that provided a little more visual cover. She still didn't know where exactly she was heading to, but at least she knew now that she was neither walking in circles nor just moving around in an illusion, which was something at least. And then her escape attempt had run smoothly up to now; she hadn't encountered anyone yet, but the second that thought ran through her head, she perceived some voices.

Her blood ran cold in an instant and again her heart had to remind her with an unsteady beat of its existence and more importantly her frame of mind, which was dominated by panic at the moment. It took her a few seconds until she was able to free herself out of her paralysis and move into the next doorframe, just hoping that no one was on the other side of it and decided to come out in that second.

It wasn't a good hiding place, but definitely better than standing right in the middle of the hallway and she only planned on staying here as long as it took her to make out where the voices came from and more importantly into which direction their owners were moving. They were still too quiet for her to understand anything and since it was perfectly still here they had to be pretty far away, but nevertheless they were getting louder and that quickly, so she'd have to get out of this corridor soon.

After glimpsing into the direction the noise was coming from, just to make sure they couldn't be seen yet and could accordingly not see her either, she quickly scurried along the wall, pressing her body as close to it as possible, while she urgently searched for the next small passage to branch off from this larger corridor, but there was none and the voices were still getting louder.

She increased her pace, but still couldn't really move fast, since she had to be careful not to make any sounds, which was almost impossible considering how dead silent it was and still no escape route.

Her heart was already in her throat and she was sure that even if they might not hear her steps, the noise of her heart would give away her position and they'd come running at her any second now and lock her in again.

There came panic again. There was a buzzing in her brain, her grey matter working like busy bees and her pupils were speeding and weren't able to rest on a single object, but followed every bit of movement, mostly in form of dust or little flies.

Finally a passage.

She squeezed herself into it, realizing that it was dark and narrow, about three metres in length and without any doors or anything – just perfect. She stepped into the middle of it, pondering if she should stay here or walk out at the other end. Catching a glimpse at what it looked like there might help her make up her mind.

With her back firmly pressed to the cold wall behind her, she moved like a crab towards the end, where she could see a bit of light. She tried her best to stay in the shadows, but since there was an abundance of them, it wasn't really a challenging task. Without daring to move too much or too fast, she turned her head just a fraction, just enough for her to have a look at the hall only a few steps away from her and she couldn't keep her jaw from dropping at the sight of it.

It was just huge, at least twice or maybe three times the size of the room she had been interrogated in and that was quite something and then it was also very high. The roof had to be at least fifteen metres high and it was like an atrium and she could see the many different floors of this construction.

It was like nothing she had ever seen. How could a building of this size be hidden? It had to be like a landmark, or was it really entirely underground? To her right was a solid wall, without those balconies that surrounded the other two sides she could see, but there was an opening in the wall about four metres in height and width and then on her level even.

From what she could see it only led into another corridor, but nevertheless it looked like the exit. Maybe it was a bit early for cheering, but as it seemed she had really found the way out. But it was risky. Except for two pillars, which were too far away from her destination to serve her as cover though, this level was entirely empty, so she could theoretically be seen from three sides and pretty much all floors.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

She took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she was about to do now, but as she had only just lifted her foot for her first step into freedom (hopefully), she heard a sound, this time coming out of the hall she had only just planned to enter.

She froze on the spot, shock numbing her senses for a moment and at first she thought she was going to swoon, but then she calmed herself again and retreated two further steps into the passage she was in, at once melting into the shadows.

She remained pressed to the wall as if her life depended on it, which wasn't even so very far fetched; her face directed towards the large hall, looking for any movement, although she really hoped there wouldn't be any.

Then another sound. Footsteps.

The echo made it impossible to tell out of which direction they came or if they were near or distant. She couldn't even tell if they were moving towards or away from her – this was nothing for faint-hearted and at the moment she was sure she fell into this category, with the way fear crept up her spine, sending an unnerving tingling from her toes to the tips of her fingers. She could even swear it went right into her hair-ends. But then a sudden bang saved her from being consumed by terror.

A door. A shutting door and the hollow echo of it, but no further sounds.

Whoever there was must have entered a room – she wasn't a goner yet. Panic was replaced by relief and she finally severed her body from the wall behind her and relaxed her muscles, which have been so tense that it was already painful, which she only just began to notice.

She turned her head back around and closed her eyes, quieting her frayed nerves. She lifted a hand and started massaging her neck which was hurting thanks to the compulsive way she had pressed her cheek against the wall and finally heaved a deep, relieved sigh, letting out all the tension along with the air, but then she was suddenly pushed back against the wall, her hands pinned right beside her head.

A shocked gasp escaped her throat and her eyes snapped open at once, her pupils drawn towards two glowing embers, glaring at her out of the darkness. This had to be what a heart attack felt like. There was a sudden pain in her chest as her heart rate reached a new record and she couldn't remember what she had to do in order to breathe and then her knees were buckling underneath her and she would have sure fallen to the ground if Sasuke wouldn't keep her pinned here.

Her left wrist was still injured and his grip didn't really make it better, so she couldn't help but to whimper in pain, although she had been determined not to show any weakness in front of him, but apparently he knew what her reaction meant and lowered his hand a bit, until he had reached a non-bandaged part of her arm, but didn't loosen his grip otherwise.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked in a blank voice and pushed himself further against her, until his forearms were resting on hers, his elbows additionally clamping her upper arms, his knees touching hers and then his chin, so close that it was almost grazing the tip of her nose and she had to tilt her head back in order to look into his eyes and couldn't see anything but his crimson red Sharingan. Could literally feel his glare cut into her defenceless eyes, that wouldn't even shut to save themselves.

He increased the pressure of his body against hers, as she didn't respond, as if he meant to just walk through her, but close as he was, he should be able to feel that her heart was somersaulting there in her throat, so that she couldn't possibly answer him. And she had actually once enjoyed being this close to him… in this moment the memories of their time together seemed so very hazy and distant, as if they weren't even her own, but something she had read in a book or seen in a movie.

Hard to imagine how her heart used to skip a beat in pleasure when those hands that were at the moment crushing her wrists, would gently push her hair out of her face.

How proud she had felt when she found those now so cold and hate-consumed eyes, fixed on her and only her, even when they had been in a room full of other, much prettier women.

How much pleasure those lips that were now pressed into a hard line, incapable of ever producing a smile, had given her…

How was it possible that the now had so very little in common with the then?

How could those flimsy memories she still cherished in spite of the pain connected to the keeping, not yield under the pressure of reality?

The second your most pleasant memories, become nothing but mere memories, without a chance of ever being repeated or shared with the people involved, when they only serve to remind you of a better time, a past and now closed chapter of your life, that is when they become more of a burden than any recollections of pain or torture. They leave you with an emptiness so complete that you can't even think of a way to fill it, and all your attempts end up as failures and only serve to enlarge the gaping hole that is consuming your being, and yet you keep trying, when actually you know that there is no way, that there is nothing that can bring back what is lost. When you realize that things will never be the same again.

"How did you get out?"

Instead of answering she directed her eyes to the floor, trying to escape his piercing gaze, while she tried to slip her hands out of his, but he wouldn't let her and just tightened his grip, until she could feel a dull pain radiate through her wrists and into the tips of her fingers.

"Answer me." He demanded impatiently and shook her a little, his fingers on her wrist feeling like a vice, leaving her hands feel numb, as the pressure obstructed her blood flow.

"Through the door." She hissed through clenched teeth and forced herself to meet his eyes that looked so very angry at the moment, and glare back at him, but he didn't seem too impressed. He only narrowed his eyes, giving her a once-over, before he exhaled sharply and turned away and for the fragment of a second she actually thought he was sulky and would just turn his back on her, walk out of her life, but then she was pulled by her hand and suddenly she was moving and definitely not voluntarily.

"Let go!" She snarled and tried to protest, but Sasuke just kept dragging her after him and unfortunately he was much stronger than her and wasn't really soft-hearted either, so she couldn't move him to let go of her hand and leave her to walk by herself or at least slow down a bit, so she wouldn't have to fear he'd rip her arm out.

He was walking around so many corners, taking quick, long steps. All the bandages, or rather the wounds underneath them apparently didn't restrict his movements and since she didn't know where he would walk to, she couldn't keep up with him and was entirely unbalanced and had to stagger around with her left arm raised in front of her, to keep herself from running against the walls. Up to now she has always made it, although it had been a close thing most of the time and she didn't want to push her luck. That didn't really help her anything though as she tripped over her own feet and would have landed headfirst on the hard ground, when Sasuke hadn't jerked at her arm, bringing her close to colliding with his backside.

"Move." He glared over his shoulder, his voice sounding clearly annoyed and after taking another bend, he came to a stop in front of a door – her door – and opened it, before he roughly pushed her into the room.

She stumbled inside and spun around again once she had caught herself, planning to hurl some nasty remark at him. She didn't know what yet, but she was so mad at him that she just wanted to give vent to it, but she only caught a brief glance at him, before he slowly pushed the door shut.

Half of him was still visible and he'd definitely hear her, but still she didn't know what to say now, she didn't really have a quick tongue and maybe two seconds more and he'd be gone anyway. However then he paused in his movement and pushed the door open again, taking a step towards her, with a weird expression on his face.

Her eyes widened slightly in surprise and she backed away from him, but he grasped her chin and lifted her face up, his eyes, which were now back to black, merely seeming puzzled now.

"You're bleeding." He raised an eyebrow and scrutinized her closely, but she only glowered at him and slapped his hand away. Against expectation he really did let go, wearing a slightly startled expression on his face, before he closed his eyes briefly and emitted an amused sound.

Without another word he pulled the door shut behind him and then walked past her, towards the bathroom section, where he vanished behind the half wall. She could probably run out now, but what good would that do her? He'd probably need less than three seconds to catch her and what had he been talking about anyway?

She brushed her hands across her face and then looked at them, seeing that they were indeed bloody and not too little. Actually she hadn't hurt herself, so why should she be bleeding? She moistened her lips, tasting that stale, coppery tang of blood on her tongue. Her lips were covered with it; she could even feel a drop gather at the tip of her chin.

A shocked expression appeared on her face and she pressed her sleeve against her nose, which was apparently the leaky spot, before she turned around and watched how Sasuke reappeared from behind the wall. He approached her with certain steps, not a hint of hesitation visible in his movements, while Sayuri hunched her shoulders unconsciously, taking on a defensive stance already, since lately that hadn't been wrong in his presence. He moved his arm up quickly, throwing something at her, but before she could make out what it was, she had already squeezed her eyes shut and raised her hands to shield her face.

Whatever it was collided with her forearms and she already cringed and whimpered in pain, although it didn't hurt. As she realized so, her grey-blue eyes fluttered open again and her foot reflexively moved under the object, just in time to keep it from landing on the ground.

It was a towel.

She picked it up and stared incredulously at the plain white cotton towel, which was soaked with cold water, before her eyes switched to Sasuke, seeing that his brow was raised expectantly.

"You are the medic-nin; you don't need me to tell you what to do when your nose bleeds, do you?" The Uchiha said calmly, his brows still up there in the middle of his forehead in this presumptuous manner. Sayuri sank her teeth into the side of her cheek, biting back a reply, before she slouched to her bed and sat down there, with her upper body leaned to the front a little and the cold towel pressed onto the bridge of her nose.

She squeezed her eyes shut so she wouldn't have to look at him, although she knew that he was still there and she wondered why. Did he feel guilty because he had been so rough to her that her nose had started bleeding? Probably not. He was most likely just worried that the baby – his heir – would come floating out of her nostrils. But she still didn't understand why she was bleeding now. She usually didn't get nosebleeds, unless something really heavy crashed against her face, but never without a solid reason.

"Did you really think you could run away?"

She opened her eyes again and saw that he was now leaning at the table, with his coal black eyes firmly fixed on hers.

"What does it matter?" She shrugged, her voice a little muffled by the towel, so she raised it a little before she carried on. "They'll find me sooner or later and come here."

"Is that so?" He crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked down at her and not only because she was practically sitting on the ground, and his conceited demeanour didn't fail to upset her.

"Don't act so smug – of course they will, you think you can hide here forever?" She put the towel down, now that she was sure that the bleeding had stopped and saw that it was drenched with blood, so she was careful to have the bright red side up, just so that he could see it in case he felt guilty after all and would then be struck down by pangs of conscience, but whether he was or not, his face wouldn't give away any of his thoughts. She hadn't even seen his eyes flicker towards the red, they remained relentlessly focussed on hers, trying to stare her down and quite frankly they seemed rather successful about it.

"And what then? What happens when they get here?" He asked, but Sayuri had no answer to that and could no longer bear looking into his eyes either, regardless of how badly she tried and how much she cursed herself for her weakness, so she lowered her head and stared down at her knees, submitting to shame.

"Even if they really should track us, they'd at least need another week to get here."

"_Week_?" She swallowed hard and knitted her brows, wondering if she had heard him correctly, or if he was maybe joking. "That's impossible – then we wouldn't be here yet either."

"Hm." He shrugged and gazed to the side, towards the door. "Are you planning to starve yourself?"

His voice sounded harder now, he was obviously dissatisfied with her behaviour. After all, everything she did had an impact on the foetus inside her uterus.

She'd best like to tell him that _his_ baby didn't like the food, but then she'd get the talk about babies started and she didn't want that. He changed so much. He was like a stranger to her and how could she possibly talk about something as important as their child with a stranger? So when he could just change the topic, she could do so as well.

"Don't you have other things to do? I bet Karin is already waiting for a chance to throw herself at you again." She hissed bitterly. The image of the two of them together just wouldn't vanish from her mind and managed to upset her more than it ought to. As it seemed she had misinterpreted things anyway. From what she had overheard between her and Suigetsu, she still hadn't really gotten past chasing him, but still it had seemed like he wasn't really averse to her advances, so sooner or later they'd most likely end up together and that was absolutely fine with her.

"Karin?" He raised an eyebrow, like it actually puzzled him that she knew about his affair or soon-to-be relationship or whatever with his team-mate. Like she hadn't seen them stand there together in that meadow; hadn't seen Karin hang there at his neck like a nasty bloodsucker. Like he actually thought she was blind or naïve or ignorant or all of that together. Yes, most likely all of that together.

"Yes, Karin. Or are there even more?" She asked, but then realized just how jealous she sounded, although that wasn't true and she didn't want him to think so either, so she added: "It's not like I cared… You're not the only one – I found someone else as well…"

Okay now, that wasn't any better. Now it not only sounded like she was jealous, but like she wanted to make him jealous as well and although she hadn't really intended that, it's still what she did or at least tried to do. If he had asked her about it, it would have been fine, but since he hadn't it only sounded desperate, just too much information. As it seemed she was following Ino's advice after all and then she was exaggerating a little. '_Found someone'_ sounded like she had stumbled over the love of her life, when it had only been a single, meaningless date.

"What?" For a brief second his blank mask gave way to a stunned one, but then he composed himself again and his features were only hard and stern, maybe a little harder than they usually were. Was he seriously jealous? Hard to imagine but that's what it looked like, or maybe it was just what she wanted to see.

"Did you think I'd cry for you forever?"

"I bet that Hyuga was at once there to console you." He hissed coldly and glowered at her, but instead of intimidating her, he only managed to spur her all the more.

"Yes. _He_ was there." She said emphatically, not needing to exaggerate for a change. Neji had been there when he hadn't and in case he should attach more importance to her words than she had meant to convey, then that was his thing. Although she probably shouldn't do anything that would create even more bad blood between the two of them and he really did look grim… "But I wasn't talking about him…"

She could practically tell him anything now, he couldn't know what was true or not, since _he_ hadn't been there. She could stick to the truth and just tell him about Yashamaru, or add a little lie and tell him they were actually a couple now – after they had only been a month apart – or she could go even farther, make sure to hurt him as much as he would deserve. She could tell him that she's had an affair even while they've still been a couple and that the baby might not be his. She wondered how long she'd stay alive in case she should actually tell him that…

"I started dating someone…" She stuck to the truth, but left room for imagination.

"Who?" Sasuke hissed and unfolded his arms to rest his hands on the table top on either of his sides, taking on an offensive posture, although she was the one who was attacking at the moment and yet she looked like the one on the receiving end.

"What does it matter?" She asked, irritation swinging in her voice, but as she saw how Sasuke locked his jaw, she added: "Someone who is thoughtful and caring, someone who wouldn't treat me the way you did."

Now she had stretched the truth a little after all, but what choice did she have? She wanted to hurt him and the plain truth probably wouldn't suffice to do so, therefore she just had to embellish her story a little, right?

She fixed her grey-blue eyes on the Uchiha, seeing how he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply and he no longer seemed casual and laid-back. His fists were tightly clenched on the table, his lips pressed into a thin line and there was just something about him, like the air around him had turned cold, anger seemed to be sweeping out of his every pore, although what she had said hadn't been so bad. He was there with Karin, practically making out right in front of her and he couldn't even bear hearing her talk about someone else?

She parted her lips slightly, planning to say something, although she wasn't so sure what. Another lie? The truth? An apology? A rant? Should she make things better or worse and what would be better anyway?

There was that queasy feeling in her stomach again and she wasn't sure if it was the baby, hunger or nausea again, but she really hoped it wasn't the latter. Having Suigetsu watch her throw up had been bad enough, she didn't want to lose every bit of dignity in front of Sasuke as well, so she just took a deep breath and held it then, while wrapping her arms around her stomach. She had closed her eyes even, but then opened them again as she heard a sound, seeing that Sasuke had pushed himself off the table and was now slowly walking towards the door.

She stared at his back, watched the grey-fabric of his shirt darken with shadows as he distanced himself from her and somehow she was overcome by the need to stop him, didn't want him to leave just yet, not without getting rid of that last remark that felt like a huge lump in her throat.

"What is it Sasuke? Why do you run away now?"

He came to a stop in the open doorway and looked over his shoulder, his gaze travelling to her at once and as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly, she could see the faint flicker of carving knives behind them.

"I'm through with you." He hissed, his voice sounding slightly unsteady, like it was shaking with anger and Sayuri had to swallow hard at the sound of it and then especially the look in his eyes. Every other word remained stuck in her throat and then he just turned around and walked out, his departure followed by the noisy slam of the door.

Sayuri stared at the door with widened eyes, until a smug smirk settled on her lips and she slumped down on her bed, her face directed towards the ceiling.

He was angry. She had managed to upset him just as planned, but then why didn't the lump in her throat vanish? Her smile slowly began to crumble and she pressed a hand on her mouth to smother the first sob that fought its way into freedom.

She didn't know why she had done that. He had hurt her so much and she thought she'd feel better after hurting him as well, but it's the contrary. She felt totally horrible. Just the way he had looked at her… The anger and the disgust in his eyes and then it was almost understandable even. They had only been a few weeks apart and she had already started dating another guy. She had even kissed him – just what had gotten into her? Sasuke had needed ages to get her that far and with Yashamaru she had done so on the very first date – she had even thought about how it would be like if they ended up in bed together. She hadn't really meant to do so, but still these thoughts had run through her head and that was just so unlike her. As it seemed he wasn't the only one who had turned into a stranger…

…

…

Dawn broke. Warm beams of sunlight were pushing themselves through breaches in the leaf canopy and threw specks of light in various sizes and shapes onto the moss and fern covered forest ground. The stillness of an early morning, which was only interrupted by the occasional rustling of leaves in the mild breeze or the twittering of birds, created a peaceful atmosphere, but not for long… There were two other persons, who had traded sleep for an untimely commencement of their journey and were now disturbing the early-morning atmosphere.

"Lee – wait!" Tenten yawned and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

It was far too early still. With the shortcut through the Land of Grass they had taken, they were slightly ahead of schedule anyway and not to forget the way Lee had rushed her all the time. Of course he had tried to make a competition out of the whole journey, but she had vehemently refused, whenever possible at least. Although he was right, they really did have to hurry, which didn't mean he'd have to make a race out of it.

"If you have time to wait you might as well start running!" The dark-haired man called out from the top of a huge oak-tree, which he had climbed in order to have a better overview of their surroundings.

"Mmh…" Tenten grimaced and rolled her eyes about Lee's logic, before she mumbled under her breath: "If you have time to prattle, you might as well- Eek!"

"-What did you say?" Lee had suddenly jumped out of the tree and landed right in front of her, with a hand cupped around his ear, to emphasize that he hadn't quite heard what he hadn't been supposed to hear anyway.

"Eh… nothing!" She shook her head hastily and summoned a sheepish smile on her face.

"Hmm?" He looked at her with big eyes and blinked confusedly, before he just shrugged and turned around again. "If I can't make it to Konoha before noon, I'll have to do cartwheels around the whole village!" He exclaimed excitedly and already started running, while Tenten fought back a distraught expression and went after him.

He made it.

At 11:59 precisely, Lee rushed through the gates of Konoha, while Tenten caught up to him three minutes afterwards. Without any hesitation or slight detours towards home, where food, a shower and a warm bed were waiting for them, they commenced their way to the Hokage tower, Tenten all the time busy with convincing her team-mate that just because she hadn't reached the village at noon, didn't mean he had lost his bet and that there was accordingly no need for him to do cartwheels or any other sort of silly, self-imposed task.

Just as always he was deaf to reason and since she knew him by now and knew that he was just like their sensei, she gave up pretty quickly, saving her breath for the last bit of way that would lead them right into the Godaime's office.

"Come in." A voice sounded, right after they had knocked at the heavy oak-door, leading into Tsunade's domain.

They followed the invitation at once; Lee in the front, while Tenten slowly marched after him while patting some dust off her clothes and pushing some loose strands of hair behind her ears, so she would look more or less appropriate considering that she was seeing the Hokage of Konoha-Gakure, who by the way happened to be her idol.

"Lee, Tenten." She was standing at the large window overlooking the Village Hidden in the Leaves, but glanced over her shoulder at their entrance and nodded towards them in greeting.

"Hokage-sama." They inclined their heads a little and exchanged some questioning looks, both having realized just how stern the blonde woman looked and Tenten feared that she had already seen through the lie they were about to tell her, before they had even done so. Her face just had to look guilty already. She wasn't a liar and they had no right to make her one, but then she was also no one who broke her promises and since she had definitely promised them to lie to Tsunade, or maybe not lie, just act clueless in front of her, she would have to do so.

"Here is the scroll, we were supposed to bring here." Lee took a step toward her desk and placed said item carefully beside a huge pile of documents. "The mission itself passed without any incidents."

"The mission itself?" Tsunade turned around at last, his choice of words puzzling her and then the looks the two of them exchanged were somewhat suspicious as well.

"Yes." Tenten took over, every word sending pangs of conscience through her head, but she tried her best to ignore that, especially now that she could still stick to the full, unabbreviated truth. "We were on our way back from the Bird Country, when we saw a swarm of insects that then formed a message: a request for help. Kiba at once knew the message came from Shino, so we followed them to the Earth Country, to a small village, which we reached in the afternoon."

Tsunade's eyes had widened at the mentioning of Shino's name but she hadn't dared to interrupt her still in the middle of her speech, but now that she took a brief pause to catch a breath, she ventured to interject.

"A message from Shino's team? Are they alright? Did you see them and where is Kiba anyway?" She asked and scrutinized the two young shinobi in front of her closely, her honey brown eyes as sharp as glass, trained to see through any lie offered to them, although her alarm bells weren't ringing yet.

"Yes. They were taking a break in a hotel."

"When was that?" She slammed both her hands on her desk and leaned forward, closer to them, distress clearly visible in her features.

"Four days ago." Lee murmured and raised one of his prominent eyebrows in a questioning manner, not so sure what to make of Tsunade's agitated behaviour.

"Phew." She sighed in relief and placed a hand behind her neck. It had been three days ago that they had summoned Katsuyu for a report on the events going on there and she had been entirely churned up and had told them that something happened and that she was no longer with them and that they must have been attacked, at least she couldn't imagine anything else, but then that had been six days ago, so when they had seen them afterwards they had to be alright…

"Katsuyu-sama reported that they must have been attacked. What do you know about that – just tell me everything from the start." She ordered them and slumped down in her light-blue chair, before she folded her hands underneath her chin, with her elbows resting on her desk and observed them attentively.

"Uhm…" Tenten whimpered uneasily, as Lee wouldn't say anything, which meant that she would have to take over this unpleasant task and she really didn't like that. "Well, we found them in that hotel and they were injured, ehm… but not too much and they meant to take off quickly again, so they didn't have much time to talk to us…" Phew – she had been just about to tell her that Naruto had been the only conscious one and that Shino and Neji had been so badly injured that they had been out of it – which would have led to the question of where Suigetsu and Sayuri had been and they hadn't talked about that. Would it be okay to tell Tsunade that they were gone? Probably not, so she should keep on talking about them with a collective pronoun – just no names.

"Hm." Tsunade's eyes narrowed slightly and Tenten was sure that she had already seen through her; had used some kind of jutsu which allowed her to read all the truthful answers in her eyes, especially since it had to be really obvious that she was lying. The word '_guilt'_ had to be printed all across her face and then her hands were damp and she couldn't really look the Godaime in the eyes. "Did they tell you anything about their mission?"

"They did." To Tenten's relief Lee took over now. "They said they had found Sasuke, but lost him again, because it had come to an encounter with Danzô's men. That's why they sent us here."

"Yes!" The brown-haired kunoichi nodded in agreement. "Danzô's men did something to sent Katsuyu-sama back, some kind of smoke-bomb and they held them captive."

"Danzô…" Tsunade snarled with an angry look on her face. "I'll have a word with him… What else did they tell you about Sasuke?"

"N-nothing…" Tenten stuttered, all too aware of the piercing look in Tsunade's eyes. "Just that they lost him and now Kiba stayed with them to support them."

"I see." She nodded, still with that sceptical look on her face. "That's good news. I sent out a support-squad once I heard what happened, but there won't be any need for them to search them any longer, will there?"

Now they didn't know what to say. Would it be of interest to them to have yet more people there? Who knew who was in that team - maybe someone who wouldn't share their opinion on covering Sasuke as long as they didn't have definite proof of his guilt…

"I think it wouldn't do them any good if they were too many…" Tenten rattled off a general rule for tracking squads – the more people there were the harder it was to stay hidden.

"Hm." Tsunade curled her lips and raised an eyebrow, her eyes switching from Tenten to Lee and back again. "So you are certain they can manage by themselves?"

"Yes." They nodded simultaneously, glad that short answers were possible, since it was harder to detect a lie in a single syllable. Hopefully.

"Fine then. I much rather need them in the village anyway. I'll tell Katsuyu-sama to call them back." Although this was a mere report of what she was about to do, there was a questioning tone in her voice and her eyes remained firmly fixed on her opposites, trying to read in their faces what they were thinking. "Anything else I ought to know?"

"Err… n-no…" They both shook their heads hastily, maybe a little too quick with their reply.

"I see." Tsunade stretched the words and looked over her folded hands at the two Chunin, who were wondering if they were allowed to go now. "There's just one thing that bothers me."

"R-really..?" Tenten smiled uneasily. "What is it?"

"You said you followed a cry for help by Shino, but when you got there, they weren't injured… Why would they call for help when they didn't need it?" Her eyes narrowed slightly, whereas her opposites' eyes widened.

"Uh-uhm…" Tenten stammered, but then, much to her surprise, Lee had the saving idea.

"They needed someone to report to you about what happened since Katsuyu was gone and they couldn't come back to Konoha themselves, so they just needed a messenger."

Was that really Lee, who stood there and lied to the Hokage like a pro? He wasn't really the brightest bulb in the box, but from time to time he really managed to impress her with his spontaneous brain waves.

"Very well then." She murmured in a toneless voice before she leaned back in her chair and after giving them another sharp look that caused goosebumps to crawl over their skin, she dismissed them.

The two of them didn't waste a second to leave the office and didn't dare to talk to each other before they were out on the street, already a good distance away from the Hokage tower.

"Phew…" Tenten sighed and came to a sudden stop, causing Lee to do so as well. "You think she believed us?"

"Of course she did. She wouldn't have sent us away if she didn't." Lee shrugged and didn't waste another thought on the whole matter.

"I'm not so sure. She looked like she had seen through us…"

"Really? She didn't say anything of that sort…" Lee looked into the air and scratched the back of his head, mentally going through the entire conversation again to understand what his team-mate was talking about.

"Of course she didn't say it!" Tenten groused and put a hand to her forehead. It was probably pointless to talk to him about what she had read in Tsunade's expression. "Nevermind Lee. We're done, now, aren't we?"

"Yes."

"Good, then I'll go home and sleep-"

"Sleep?" Lee interrupted and stared at her with big eyes. "The day has only just begun! Let's go to Guy-sensei! He'll sure have some new training-methods to brighten our day!" He exclaimed excitedly and reached for Tenten's hand, to pull her with him, not leaving her a chance to say no, although after all the exertions and the pressure, she could think of at least a hundred things she'd much rather do then take part in the Guy-and-Lee-show.

…

…

It had been a most unpleasant night – before and after her failed escape attempt.

She wasn't quite sure how late it was, it could already be morning or noon or maybe night still, it was hard to tell within this dark clock- and windowless room. There was no new plate yet, though, so it was probably pretty early still.

It was about four or five hours ago that Sasuke had left her here and she had spent at least half of them with drowning her pillow in tears, until it had been so soaked, that it was uncomfortable to keep lying on it, so she had gotten up and given the food another chance, but it had ended about the same way as the day before, only that she didn't even get past the second spoon this time.

The by now permanent stomach pain had only gotten worse then and she had nothing to ease it, so she had tried to go back to sleep, but it just wouldn't work and she felt really miserable. She needed food and rest but the thing inside her denied every bit of it and she cursed it for doing this to her, since it left her with a whole lot of time for thinking. And she didn't want to think. Not about him anyway, but it's not like she could help it.

She just couldn't get his words out of her head and the look in his eyes kept haunting her, when it shouldn't. She shouldn't feel bad because of what she had said. Same as he obviously didn't feel bad about what he had done and that was far, far worse. Instead of feeding her guilty conscience, she should think about some useful stuff. She had more or less memorized the way from her room to the exit and had replayed it in her memory over and over again, just so that she wouldn't forget it, in case she should ever get another chance to get out, which she highly doubted, but who knew…? It's not like she had anything better to do with her time, except for puzzling over his words.

He had said that they would need at least another week to get here.

Another?

They were only here since barely a week, so why would they need a whole week longer? Was this place so well hidden that he was convinced they would need this long to find it, or were there maybe traps all around it and it would take them this long to get past them? Who knew, but actually he had sounded really certain about it, but how could he be so certain when he only assumed they'd need this long?

Just great that he had changed the topic before he could have enlightened her… She had too little information to think of anything by herself. Maybe she really should accept Suigetsu's deal… What did she care about a stupid name and whatever? From how that thing was torturing her it would serve it just right… She couldn't help but to feel a growing antipathy towards that little succubus that had invaded her body and drained her of all her energy, so why should she feel any sympathy for it?

And then he had said he'd keep her company and he was definitely better than Karin or Sasuke. She might even have an actual chance of questioning him about this whole thing; about where they were and so on. He was different from the others, he only did what he felt like doing, so maybe if she could convince him of another deal, he might tell her. He had also told her about Sasuke's plans, which she had completely forgotten about as he had stood there in front of her. She'd just ask Suigetsu then.

He could even organize some edible food!

Okay, it was settled, she'd accept Suigetsu's deal. Hopefully he'd show up soon, preferably before she had starved, as Sasuke had alleged she'd do voluntarily. Like seriously, a whole day without food in normal circumstances was unpleasant enough, but she was pregnant and yearned for all silly sorts of food, but there was nothing available and her stomach was so empty that the permanent growling had an echo already. But she did that voluntarily. Right…

Out of lack of anything to do, she searched for a sharp stone and started carving tic-tac-toes into the ground and played against herself, from time to time actually managing to beat herself. Most likely because she kind of preferred the crosses over the rings and cheated to let them win.

She didn't even last through five minutes until she was utterly bored and sank back into her pillow, which was stiff and sticky from all the salt-water it had absorbed in the last hours. The light was still on, but she was too tired and lazy to cover the two metres towards it and merely placed a hand over her eyes, when she heard the sound of the door opening and then closing again.

It was the same as always, they just shoved her food in and that was it, so she didn't even bother to look up. Now she knew that it was morning at least.

She really hoped Suigetsu would come here soon; she wouldn't survive another day without food. It was funny, although there was a yawning void in her stomach it looked like it usually did after she had eaten through a four course meal. It didn't look pregnant, just full – fuller and fuller from day to day. Her arms and legs were getting thinner and her stomach bigger – at this rate, she'd look like a chestnut figurine soon enough…

The thought almost made her smile, but just almost and she caught herself run a hand over her stomach, but now that she was lying she couldn't tell a difference from the shape it usually had, but since the difference was minimal anyway, it wasn't really surprising.

Then there was a shrill clank and clatter, right beside her ear.

She gasped in surprise and dropped the hand from her eyes, while she had already moved closer to the wall instinctively and had raised her upper body a little, ready to get up and run away any second. There wasn't really an escape out of this room, but she'd run circles or zig-zags if necessary – she could do with a bit of exercise anyway.

She saw now that the sound had been caused by a brimful plate, clattering there right beside her futon and behind it she could see a pair of sandals, with ten toes peeking out of them.

With an appalled expression she turned her head up to look at her visitor who had managed to get this close to her without her having realized it.

"Sasuke?" She knitted her brows, but then tried to get all emotions out of her face, although it clearly puzzled her that he was here. He had never come on his own accord and after what happened yesterday she wouldn't have expected to see him any time soon, or ever again and yet he was standing here, shocking her by dropping a plate right beside her ear, when she had just planned to fall asleep. What if that stuff had flown out of it and she would have gotten it into her face or anything? Did he ever even think about what he was doing?

"Eat." He said in a commanding voice and watched how Sayuri lifted herself into a sitting position, with a defiant look on her face.

"Thought you were through with me…" She raised an eyebrow and observed how a brief flicker disturbed his emotionless mask, but vanished just as fast as it had occurred in the first place.

Her words were followed by a long silence, but she could see that Sasuke was about to say something and from the look on his face nothing pleasant, but it's not like she would have expected anything different. Perhaps she should just ignore the fact that she was mad at him, even though mad didn't even cover what she felt, and should talk to him in a more neutral way, treat him like the stranger he had become. Maybe then she'd get something more out of him and could get him to bring her different food, explain why he fancied running into his own death, those kinds of things.

She was sure that when she explained everything to him he wouldn't refuse her request, after all it wasn't only her but also his baby, so it would be in his own interest to keep her from starving, which was apparently the case, why else would he have come here to make personally sure that she'd eat something? And she'd have to talk to him about the baby. It didn't matter if she wanted to or not. This was too important for acting piqued or anything. It might be relieving to finally hear what he had planned to do about the whole matter. If he did have any plans at all… She couldn't blame him if he hadn't, she didn't have any herself.

"You made that up." He pressed out through clenched teeth and looked down at her through narrowed eyes, while Sayuri first didn't know what to make of his words and related them to what she had said before. She was just about to snap at him for denying he had said that, when she realized what he had to be talking about and now for a change a cold expression settled on her face.

"Yes, Sasuke. I spend all my time with inventing things that might upset you, just for the fun of it." She said in a slightly impatient voice and rolled her eyes. So much to neutral, but he was the one who started this, she only responded in an equal fashion, although right now she almost regretted it, since he looked ready to explode.

"You're a slut." He hissed and shook his head, as if he couldn't believe his new discovery, whereas Sayuri couldn't believe that he had actually drawn these conclusions.

"Me?" She pointed at her chest, her eyes widened incredulously. "What about you and Karin? You can do whatever you want and I'm a slut?" She watched him stiffen, setting his jaw for a counter, like a bull lowering his horns.

"That's different."

"_Different_? How is that different?" Her voice had taken on a nearly hysteric edge and she had to remind herself to stay calm and not let him get to her, because who knew what she'd end up saying when she'd give in to all the rage she was harbouring.

"Because you are pregnant and you're screwing around." He snarled in a low voice, but added so much loathe to the single words that it sounded much worse than if he would have screamed at her now.

"Ha!" She let out a disbelieving laugh and shook her head slightly, like she meant to shake off a fly that had landed on her nose. "Do you think I want to be pregnant? You did this to me! How did you do it Sasuke? Did you exchange my pills or what? You knew I didn't want a baby – I don't want _your_ baby!"

Okay, these were the things she had actually meant to hold back, but it felt so very relieving to have gotten rid of them, but that sense of relief deflagrated the second she looked into Sasuke's face without that red rag of rage in front of her eyes that had clouded her vision up to then.

Every single muscle in his body was tensed and he had clenched his fists into tight, shaky balls and then his eyes… They were widened but didn't seem to look at anything specific, already focused on the future massacre he was about to create. He really did look like he wanted to hit her and she could see the effort it took him to hold back and she was actually overcome by fear at the sight of his face.

"Hm." He moistened his lips, before his eyes switched into the here and now again and met hers with so much loathe in them that she had to swallow hard and pressed herself tight against the wall behind her.

"You should call yourself lucky that you are pregnant right now." He hissed in a toneless voice and turned around to leave the room and Sayuri could see that he was trembling all over.

She believed him at once. If she wouldn't be pregnant she would probably be dead now.

She cringed as the door slammed noisily into its frame and slowly but surely she realized just what she had said. Her eyes remained stapled to the closed door, hoping he'd come in now with the plate he'd then drop on the ground beside her, wished for a way to turn back time, so she could take those last things back or rather never say them.

But the door remained shut.

Reality remained unaltered.

He remained out of her reach.

Unavailable for an apology.

More distant than he had ever been.

The second time now, she dissolved into quiet tears, wondering why she had done it. She couldn't believe that it had really gotten to this and then she was making things worse and worse and just couldn't stop herself from doing so.

She had meant to, she had been full of resolutions to make the best of this situation, but then she hadn't listened to her own advice and had made the worst out of it instead. But then she had wanted to hurt him. Hurt him as much as he had hurt her, just so that he knew how it felt, but more importantly to see if she still could, because as long as that was the case, it meant that he still cared about her. If he would really be indifferent about her, than her words wouldn't have upset him, but if she would upset him any more, he might stop caring about her and she would probably just drive him into Karin's arms.

What did she want anyway? In one second she thought about how she was done with him and how Karin could have him for all she cared and a second later she thought about how he might stop caring about her and how she didn't want that… She couldn't make sense of her own feelings and not of his either. It had really seemed like he was jealous. He had even called her a slut and instead of being offended by it she was rather glad he had done so. Just what was wrong with her? But then he rarely ever insulted people, because he was usually above such things, or at least pretended so, but that had obviously not been the case, which was just another thing that made her hope he still cared…

So much to being through with her… But just because that apparently wasn't the case yet, didn't mean it would stay that way… Instead of screwing up so badly, she should probably try to get through to him and stop him from his silly plans…

She slung her arms around her drawn up knees and rested her face on them, letting her tears soak through her new and last leggings; the sound of her sobs and the memories of the previous conversation the only things that filled the oppressive silence.

How could she seriously tell him that she didn't want his baby? She didn't want a baby in general and he knew that, but the way she had said that… no wonder he had been this mad. That was probably the worst thing you could actually say to someone, but it still seemed so unreal…

She lifted her head a little and looked down at herself sceptically. With all the clothes she was wearing it was entirely invisible, so she pulled the various layers of fabric up and stared at her bare stomach that still hardly looked different from the way it usually did. With a frown on her face she poked a finger at it, before she rested her flat hand on her warm skin and leaned back against the wall.

She didn't really feel pregnant. It didn't feel like there was actually a living being growing inside her. A living being that would one day decide to come out of there and would then be dependent on its parents – and she was one part of that.

"You poor unwanted thing…" She sighed quietly and started softly running a hand over her stomach. "A mother who doesn't want you and a father who is about to run into suicide and will probably never meet you."

What a great life it will have…

…

…


	31. Insight

**31. Insight**

It was the first day of the second week she was spending here and still no sign of a noble prince on a tall white horse, who would come to her rescue and free her out of this dungeon. She was beginning to lose all her faith in fairy tales and still she kept on waiting for that picture-perfect prince and his picture-perfect horse to ride in here and lift her into the saddle in front of him, so he could hold the reins and make sure she wouldn't fall and then they'd ride out, straight towards his castle, into a bright and secure future.

He wouldn't come.

Not even Suigetsu would come. He wasn't even nearly on the same level as a prince, but nevertheless he was about the only person she wanted to see at the moment. She had fallen out with Sasuke and wasn't so sure if she'd ever be able to fix things – didn't know if she even wanted to fix things… Last would be Karin; she didn't want to see her for the obvious reasons, which hadn't kept her from showing up this morning though.

She had spent most of the night with talking, or rather pouring her heart out to Temaki. She had let out practically everything, all her worries, fears, feelings and it had been far more relieving than merely crying. Putting everything into words had caused her to bring some kind of order into all these things that were plaguing her at the moment, which made it a little easier to deal with them.

It had felt like a confession: her sitting there at the closed door, not seeing anyone, just hearing a voice, a voice which would get her to talk, give her absolution and all that without ever uttering an own opinion or passing judgement on her. He had posed notably many questions though, which told her that she must be really desperate. Nevertheless it had been relieving, purifying almost and yet she had still been too churned up to get any sleep that night, so she had been utterly tired and still close to starving when Karin had come here this morning with her breakfast.

She had acted kind of weird. She had been in quite a good mood and then she had actually been nice to her – at least by her standards. She hadn't hauled around with any death wishes or other kinds of insults and she hadn't given her these annoyed why-am-I-here-?-I-hate-you-more-than-anything looks, but had been all smiley in that creepy I-have-a-knife-behind-my-back way and somehow that had been even more alarming than the straightforward display of despise.

The redhead had practically danced into the room with a face that rivalled the sun. She had asked her how she was doing and if there had been any changes and since she had been really desperate, she had told her about the food. Something about her expression had changed then a little, she probably hadn't expected her to actually ask her for something, but then the smile had snapped back into place and she had said she would see to it.

She wondered if Karin had heard something about their argument, maybe Sasuke had even told her himself, although she didn't really believe that, but still that would explain her good mood and then those self-complacent looks she always shot at her. She no longer saw her as a threat and accordingly felt no more need to rack her brains about finding ways to insult her.

She had asked her some further questions and then examined her and she had let her, because what choice did she have? Then it had come to some kind of turning point – at least concerning her own mood and not only that, maybe it was a bit much, but she would even go so far as to say that it had come to a radical transformation in her own way of thinking…

Karin had asked her if she knew anything about pregnancies and she had told her that she only knew a little, which was definitely true. She wasn't a usual doctor but a medic-nin, someone who was trained to give medical-aid on the battlefield. She often worked in the hospital though, but not in the maternity ward, so she only knew what little they had approached during her training.

Karin had merely nodded and then told her that if she concentrated she might be able to tell its size from its chakra-stream and asked her if she could use that to tell in which month she was now. She had first been too stunned to respond and wasn't even so sure if she wanted to know at all… Up to now she had sought comfort in depersonalizing that thing and she wasn't so sure if she was ready to give that up already.

That had gotten her impatient. The smile had faded from Karin's face and her eyes had rolled up towards her brows, as if that would help anything… She had told her she'd try and then Karin had sighed theatrically and bent down to place her hands on her stomach. She had sat there with closed eyes for nearly two minutes, while Sayuri would have best liked to push her away, because she had been wearing a really pungent perfume. Actually not even a bad one, a bit too musky for her taste, almost like a fragrance for men, but the bad thing was the quantity she had used. It had actually smelled like she had showered in it and her pregnant nose hadn't really liked that…

She's held her breath most of the time, so it had been really relieving as Karin had finally drawn back to announce that she guessed the foetus had to be about the size of a tangerine and had used her forefingers to show the length and she didn't know how big tangerines were where she came from, but from what she knew 10 centimetres of length were rather unusual and would probably be considered as a mutation… Or she meant an orange… Then she had put her hands on her hips and regarded her with a raised eyebrow, waiting for her to fulfil her part of the deal, but she had been too shocked still to respond.

A tangerine? If she'd hold it in her hand, it would fill out her whole palm – maybe the feet would even hang down! She had always thought about that thing as some kind of tad pole, something that rather looked like an underdeveloped frog than a human, or just some sort of cluster of cells, but it was an actual person already. In a way… A mighty small person that was still somewhat a part of her body and wasn't viable on its own yet, but it would be and that much sooner than she would have assumed.

Karin had harrumphed repeatedly, like she was trying to suppress a coughing fit and after her throat must have already become sore, she had told her that she wasn't so sure, but it had to be something around the fourth month. It was just a guess, but hearing these words out of her own mouth had been kind of shocking. How could she be four months pregnant and not realize so? Especially since she was a medic-nin, so she should have seen the symptoms.

The redhead had looked kind of stunned, too, but then she had started grinning and turned to leave, but not before announcing, with that self-complacent smirk on her face, that she'd at once tell Sasuke about it and how they'd be rid of her then much sooner than they would have thought.

_They_.

While she had no idea yet what would become of her future, Karin apparently did. Karin was looking forward to a shared future with the father of her unborn child – probably with her child as well, with her little tangerine. She wondered if Karin would actually go that far – would volunteer to play the mother of a baby who wasn't even her own, just so that she could be close to Sasuke.

It would come in handy for him. He'd then have someone to look after his heir, someone who wouldn't tell him that she didn't want his baby and then he wouldn't need her anymore. Not that he had ever done so. She had been the one who had needed him. He had saved her so often and not only from all these dangers lurking in the whole wide world. He had saved her from herself, saved her from the loneliness. It hadn't even bothered her to be on her own, until he had shown her how much better it was to have someone to share everything with; someone to rely on, someone to trust, someone who was just there, without being asked to. He had made her incapable of being alone and then he had left her and she hated him for that, but that was okay, because since yesterday at the latest he hated her too, but then why was she so bothered by that simple _they_ Karin had used? Just four stupid letters and yet they managed to upset her.

She was puzzling over this since three hours now. Karin had kept her word and had really seen to getting her some different food and not just a little. There were now two empty plates and a likewise empty bowl standing beside her futon. They had been filled with various different things, most of which she had even recognized. She had probably brought her a bit of everything she could find, just so that there was at least something among these that she'd be able to eat, so she wouldn't bother her again with getting her yet something else and well, she had ended up eating everything without any accompanying nausea, but somehow without a feeling of satiety either.

Nevertheless there was something solid in her stomach now, something that muffled the echo and kept it from growling and she was feeling much, much better now. A little sleepy, but before her binge-eating it hadn't really been different either. The lack of food had already made her feel weak and dizzy, but now her head was slowly but surely beginning to feel clear again and that was quite a relief. Two days without food wasn't too much, but it was anything but pleasant.

Just how very long she had been here already. This was the eighth day now. She had been captured before, three or four times maybe, but never longer than two or three days and now she was here since more than a week and still no prospect of a change. Just to think that he was seriously locking her in here this long, without even so little as fresh air, should make her hate him yet all the more, but it didn't, at least no more than she already did, and she wasn't even sure if that was really hatred. It rather felt like disappointment.

A weary sigh escaped her lips and she rested her head on her drawn up knees, while using her finger to trail various patterns into the fine layer of dust which had settled on the entire ground. It was just so boring and in spite of all the time she had, she was still no closer to having answers to all the questions that were plaguing her, so instead she just sat there and doodled, while her eyes were always drawn to the empty plates, wishing they were full.

Then she heard something in the corridor, some steps, so she lifted her head and stared at the door, as if that might help her locate the distance of the steps and the direction they were taking. She really hoped it was Karin with yet more food and was almost sure of it, as she saw how the door handle slowly moved down, but then it flipped up again, without anyone having entered.

A few seconds passed in which a questioning frown manifested on Sayuri's face and then there was a knock at the door, which didn't make it any better. Up to now no one had ever bothered to knock. If someone actually came here they always felt free to enter and leave as they pleased and now there was a knock and still the door remained shut.

"Yes?" Sayuri murmured in a hesitant voice, wondering if whoever there was outside was still there and was actually waiting for an invitation and as it seemed that really was the case. Quiet as it had been, her voice had nevertheless managed to carry her message to the other side of the door and now it was opened and in stepped Sasuke, directly followed by a masked man, wearing a long, dark cloak with red clouds on it.

…

…

It was a day like every other, at least at first sight. It was mid-May. There were hardly any clouds in the azure blue sky that could keep the sun from casting its warm rays across the entire village, not to forget the lands exceeding it. All the streets and especially the parks were full of people, who were enjoying the lovely summer day. According to the calendar it wasn't really summer yet, but nevertheless that was how it felt. It wasn't exactly hot yet, but the bright sun easily fooled you into believing so. The seas and rivers running through Konoha were sparkling and gleaming in the brilliant sunshine, which gave them an appeal hardly anyone could resist and so everyone who had the chance, was spending the day outdoors, with one of the numerous leisure time possibilities Konoha offered, or they at least tried to move their working place to the outside. All the streets and alleys were filled with conversation and laughter and now that the academy had come to an end also with screaming children, exchanging and adapting their plans for the day.

Amidst all this hustle and bustle and the self-absorbed crowds, the two huge toads, sitting in front of the Hokage-tower went almost unnoticed, although it was by no means common for Konoha-Gakure to accommodate animals of this size – it wasn't exactly unusual either, but nevertheless not common. And then it weren't just some normal toads – their size made it impossible to refer to them as normal in any case, but the point is that they were, as was well known, the summons of no other but one of the Leaf's legendary Sannin.

Inside the round building, they were sitting in front, were four further toads, the deliverer of a message that had managed to dismay the four present people, to say the least. A graveyard silence had descended upon the spacious office, a reaction to the sombre news, which even after ten minutes of time to digest them didn't seem any more credible than in the immediate seconds after hearing them.

Ever since the entrance of the quite peculiar group, no one had moved even so little as a finger. Sakura was still standing next to Shizune right in front of the oak desk, which was placed in the middle of the room. Shikamaru was just as always leaning against one of the bookshelves on the wall to the right of the entrance and Tsunade was still sitting in her chair, with all her attention focussed inwards, trying her best to find sense in what she had just heard.

The Great Toad Sage of Mount Myôbokuzan was supposed to be dead?

How was that even possible?

Hadn't he promised her to return?

No.

He had said he'd do his best, told her to trust him and she had trusted him and now his best hadn't been good enough. She had told him it was too risky. How many times had she asked him to stay? Had begged him to at least let her put up a back-up squad for him? But that stubborn blockhead had refused; had been so full of himself that he had actually thought he alone would have a chance against Akatsuki and although she had known from the very start that this was how it would end, she had still let him go. Had told herself that she couldn't have made him stay against his will, but she should have at least tried. She should have grasped him, chained him and then thrown him into a dark cellar, where he could spend his days with musing over a sequel to his fiction book series.

Fact is she hadn't.

She had given in far too quickly. Had left him his way only to avoid a quarrel and now he was dead and aside from his murderer, she's had her share in his premature demise as well. She had sold out her friend to his own megalomaniacal mind and now he was gone and she wouldn't even have a chance to kick his ass for it. For his stupidity. For his trifling with his own life. For his unasked-for sacrifice. But it was too late now.

There was still so much she wanted to say to him and now what? Should she talk to a piece of stone now? A parcel of land overflowed by a waterfall of flowers? The immortal part of his soul maybe? Which of them would give her the answers she needed? Would the flowers talk back to her? Would a white dove come soaring from the sky and shed light upon her sombre mind?

She didn't believe in any of these things and that left her with nothing. Her oldest friend was dead and there was nothing she could do other than accepting it and pushing the blame around, always ending up with a package for herself, that will forever stay there right behind her eyes, present every time she closed her lids, a constant reminder of her faults, of her misjudgement, of yet another loss to be added to the already far too long list of losses preceding it.

"I reckon you've seen his enemy then." Tsunade said in a calm, composed voice, as she finally crept out of the snail shell of her mind, regarding it as futile to spend this moment, in which they were all here together to discuss the circumstances and implications of Jiraiya's death, to think about what his loss meant for her personally, when that was what she'd do at night or just once she was by herself anyway.

"Enemies." Fukasaku, one of the two Great Sage Toads corrected the Godaime in a grave voice. "It were six of them, all going by the same name: Pain, and speaking of themselves as one."

"Huh?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow, not so sure what to make of that information.

"They all possess the Rinnegan, which provides them with a shared field of vision. Whatever one of them sees can be seen by the others as well." Fukasaku carried on with his eyes firmly fixed on the shocked or merely startled faces of the people surrounding him.

"The Rinnegan?" Tsunade's eyes were wide with shocked disbelief. "The eyes of the Sage of the Six Paths? I thought they were a mere legend."

"So did I, but let me assure you they are not. Jiraiya-chan witnessed these eyes among one of his students, the child of prophecy, however that one was not among the attackers, but another one, who has never been in the possession of this Doujutsu, was, and seemed to be the leader of the group."

"His students? You mean these orphans from Ame-Gakure?" The blonde enquired. Apart from Naruto and Minato and his team, they have been his only students, but quite frankly, with how things had gone in the Hidden Rain, she had believed them to be long dead already.

"Exactly." The tiny green toad nodded, but then turned his attention to the pink-haired girl, who then decided to participate in their conversation as well.

"But what is the Rinnegan or the Sage of the Six Paths? I've never heard any of these terms before." Sakura interrupted hesitantly and gazed from Tsunade to the small assembly of toads, hoping for anyone to enlighten her and as it seemed she wasn't the only one who felt that way; Shikamaru didn't look like he knew what they were talking about either.

"Later." The Godaime waved her off and focused her sharp brown eyes on Fukasaku again. "What happened then?"

"He summoned me and Ma for support and we managed to take out three of them, however as the other three appeared they must have used a technique to revive them, either way they were complete again."

"But how is that possible? There is no such thing as a technique that can revive the dead." Shizune voiced her doubts, before an uncertain flicker crossed her face and she side-glanced at her master. "Or is there?"

"Depends." Tsunade sighed. "Orochimaru was able to use a technique, with which he was able to breathe life into corpses. However they were mere puppets and had lost every bit of their personality, so you can't really say they've been alive."

"The technique might have been of the same kind, I can't tell for sure." Fukasaku crossed his arms in front of his chest and nodded to himself, keeping his eyes closed as he carried on. "Either way. Jiraiya-chan didn't stand a chance against the six of them. They crushed his throat, yet, even on the verge of death, Jiraiya managed to see through their secret and left a message for me." At the mentioning of it he turned around and pulled the grey-brown cloak from his shoulders, revealing a combination of numbers that had been carved into his back.

Everyone in the room moved their heads a little closer to the Toad Sage reflexively, although the message was big enough to be read without any difficulties.

"A code? Do you know what it means?" Shikamaru asked and kept his small brown eyes on the secret message, trying to unravel it with the knowledge he had, but he couldn't make anything out at first sight.

"No." He shook his head. "But Jiraiya-chan wanted you to know of it. If there should be a way to beat Pain, then this message is the key to it."

"Yes. I'm convinced of that, too. Decoding the message will have top priority." Tsunade agreed and rose to her feet. "Shikamaru, I will entrust you with that task. If Fukasaku-sama allows, take a picture of the code and then go to Konoha's Cryptology Squad. Tell them that deciphering this message will have precedence over any other task they might be dealing with at the moment."

"But Tsunade-sama – I actually came to-" The Nara interrupted, but was then interrupted himself.

"That's all, Shikamaru." She narrowed her eyes and nodded determinedly at the dark-haired man, who then slouched his shoulders and sighed wearily.

What choice did he have but to obey the request of the Hokage and in consideration of the situation, it seemed even more obligatory, therefore he spared himself the trouble of objecting and did as he was asked to do.

He took the picture and went to the Cryptology Squads and although his full concentration should have been focused on his task, he couldn't keep his mind from straying off to Naruto, who was now in the same position as he had been the year before and didn't even know about it yet. He wondered how the Uzumaki would take losing his master – and what if his best friend came to that too? How would he handle the loss of two persons that were important to him?

…

…

Akatsuki.

Here she was locked in this room and the only escape road was blocked by her ex-boyfriend and an Akatsuki. What were they doing together anyway? She knew that guy – it was the masked one who had always been with Deidara – the guy Sasuke killed – but that didn't help her understand why he was here now.

Her expression must have shown that. Her mouth was wide open and she was so shocked by his appearance that she couldn't recall how to close it again and now they were already in the room, the door was closed again and she sat there frozen and gaping, not even able to move away, as they were slowly approaching her.

"Where are your manners, Sasuke? You don't just enter a woman's room like this." The masked-man lectured Sasuke and somehow his voice sounded much different from how she remembered it. It was deeper and well, less goofy – actually not goofy at all but grave and authoritative, which didn't fit to the general impression he had left in the course of their last meetings, in which he had more or less appeared like an absolute joke.

"So now Sayuri." He turned his attention to her, and if she hadn't been frozen with dread before, then the way her name sounded as it rolled off his tongue, would have done the job. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you awake and in more cordial circumstances."

Awake? So he had seen her before, when she had still been unconscious and what in the world was cordial about the circumstances anyway?

He came to a stop in front of the table, not even a metre away from her, which was definitely too close for her taste, especially considering that there was no way for her to get away. She was sitting there on the futon, already with her back pressed against the wall and then there were two walls to her sides as well, since her bed had to stand in a stupid niche, so she couldn't even escape to the sides, at least not without getting so close to him that she'd probably graze him.

She was trapped here. Her eyes moved rapidly from side to side, still in search for a way to get away from here, get away from him, but there wasn't, so they finally came to a halt on Sasuke, who was leaning at the wall next to the door, with his arms crossed in front of his chest, his charcoal eyes fixed on the back of the Akatsuki and not on hers, so he didn't see the silent appeal for help in her eyes, but she doubted he would have cared anyway.

"Up to now our meetings have been rather fleeting, so allow me to introduce myself properly." He said and gave her a long look, apparently really waiting for her permission.

What if she'd say no now? Would he just drop it then and leave. She didn't care about his name anyway; he could be called however he liked, as long as he did so far away from her. She doubted it would be this easy though and she couldn't get herself to open her mouth anyway, there was just something that told her that the second the first syllable would pass her lips she would make herself vulnerable to him and this sure wasn't the time to be vulnerable. He was a member of the most-feared criminal organization in the whole world, so she better had her guard all the way up, especially since there was just something about him. He exuded such an imperious aura and she wasn't so sure if she was merely awed by it or full-out scared.

"Hm." He emitted a musing sound as she ceased to respond. "I'll just take the liberty then. I joined Akatsuki under the code name – or code personality of Tobi, who acted as the partner of Deidara, as you surely remember. My real name though is Uchiha Madara and I am the true leader of Akatsuki."

She had only just managed to close her mouth, but now it was wide open again and her eyes threatened to plop out of their sockets.

He was the leader of Akatsuki? _He_? And not only that…

"U-Uchiha…?" She stammered and felt all her defences crumble. She had consented to converse with him, shown that she listened to him, might even take his words as the truth. By asking something, ergo admitting her own lack of knowledge and asking for a part of his, she had given him the dominant position in their interlocution, so accordingly she was in a subordinate role now and it was too late now to change anything about that.

He nodded, his mask disabling her from reading anything in his expression, whereas her face had to be an open book to him and she actually didn't want to make it even easier for him by carrying on to talk with him and yet she just couldn't keep herself from it.

"But I thought Sasuke was the only one…" Her eyes switched to Sasuke's now and this time she found him looking at her as well, but his face was just blank, like he was wearing a mask as well.

"That is what everyone thinks, so you should feel honoured that you belong to the small circle of confidants." He chuckled quietly, like that had been funny now. "There were only three persons who survived the massacre on the Uchiha clan ten years ago. Itachi, the perpetrator, Sasuke, his younger brother and me, his accomplice."

"_Accomplice_?" Her eyes widened and she stared at Sasuke and still no emotions on his face.

"I-I don't understand." She shook her head incredulously and tore her gaze from Sasuke to look at the Akatsuki again, wondering if he was actually serious about this, since quite frankly she had some reasonable doubts about that.

He had been Itachi's accomplice, had helped him annihilate the whole Uchiha-clan, Sasuke's family, everyone but him and yet they were here in one room together and he was still alive and it didn't even seem like Sasuke would attack him or anything of that sort. How could he just stand there so calmly, only a few metres away from the man who had contributed to killing his family? Why didn't he suffer the same fate as Itachi? Just what was going on in Sasuke's head? Had the self-proclaimed avenger abandoned his profession?

"Sasuke didn't tell you about our first meeting then?" He asked and looked over his shoulder at the younger Uchiha, who only reacted by narrowing his eyes, but then her questions made it obvious that she didn't know a thing, so he didn't need to ask. "In that case I am not in the position to interfere. You will have to remain ignorant until Sasuke chooses to enlighten you. If he will do so at all… It would definitely be of advantage…" Here he gazed at the raven-haired man again, but he just kept leaning there at the wall, as still as a statue.

And yet again the matter was dropped, just as her curiosity had been aroused. As it seemed she was doomed to remain in the dark for the rest of her life – all these sadistic beings here just enjoyed it far too much to torture her with withholding the knowledge from her, she yearned for so dearly.

"We came here to speak about the role you will play in our future plans."

_Our __future plan_s?

So now it was official – Sasuke had joined forces with Akatsuki, but why? Only because he happened to be his relative in some way? That hadn't kept him from killing Itachi – his very own brother – so where was the difference now? Why did he plan to attack the Leaf Village and not Akatsuki? And now the two of them had come to decide about her future, just great…

"Why do you want to attack Konoha?" She tried to divert the attention away from herself, by posing the one question that was haunting her, ever since Suigetsu had told her about it, and had yet always forgotten when she's had a chance of asking it.

"How do you know about that?" Sasuke asked in a low voice, which made clear that he wasn't pleased about it.

"Hm." She shrugged, unwilling to reveal her sources, but then turned back to the masked-man as he again began chuckling quietly, although the sound was too dry and harsh to pass as any form of actual laughter.

"Later." He intervened. "You are about to give birth to the new hope of the Uchiha clan. As the mother you take a special position, which doesn't mean you are not replaceable…" His voice trailed off, which made it sound like a threat and that's what it was. The second the baby was out of her, she'd lose the special status she still enjoyed and which kept her alive. After giving birth they wouldn't need her anymore, at least not necessarily, so in case she should misbehave they'd just replace her then and she doubted that '_replacing'_ would pass off with them thrusting her baggage into her hands and showing her the door. She was one of the few confidants now, right? Therefore they couldn't afford to let her go and maybe pass her knowledge to anyone else. So that's what her future looked like: she either played the nanny for her own baby, or she just wouldn't have a future – that simple.

"I know that your loyalty to Sasuke is unaltered, even if you might not see it yourself." He said in a lower, yet certain voice that made it almost impossible to doubt the contents of his utterance, although it was nothing but a mere speculation or fortune-telling or whatever. He didn't know her, this was the first time she had ever talked to him, so how should he know what she thought? But then maybe he was just a keen observer; he must have noticed how often her eyes trailed off to Sasuke, still containing an appeal for help that has been ignored up to now.

Sayuri still puzzled over his words, as he, much to her dismay, took a step towards her, before he crouched down until his head was on one height with hers. She was already pressed against the wall, so she couldn't get any farther away and he was just too close; she was sitting with her legs crossed and his feet were right in front of her knees, he was almost touching her and his face was still moving forward. She was glad he was wearing this mask; that made it at least a little more endurable.

"A child needs parents, don't you agree? Now isn't your baby a sufficient reason to settle your dispute?" His voice was loud and clear as he said that, like he was some kind of mediator, but as he carried on it dropped to a mere whisper. "Maybe it would be helpful if you'd give your apologies to the actual recipient…"

There was again that light insincere chuckle that swung in his voice and that made it hard to tell what to make of his words. She could have sworn even that he had winked at her with the one eye that was visible through the hole in his mask.

"W-what?" She stammered and regarded him with widened eyes, not knowing what he was talking about, but she definitely didn't like the direction this was taking. He hadn't wanted Sasuke to hear that last part; why else would he have whispered? And then that wink… You wink at people who are close to you, so what did he wink at her for? Why was he acting so familiar anyway? He just came here and started talking about their baby and how she should apologize to him, while Sasuke just stood there and did nothing, like he had actually brought him here so he could settle their differences.

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about…" He whispered cryptically, still with his voice so low that she was sure that what he said was only meant for her ears and now there was finally some motion in Sasuke. His clothes rustled a bit as he changed his position, he must have noticed too that he was being excluded, but he didn't say anything. After yesterday he must have pledged never to speak to her again, or speak in her presence. He had barely said a word since they had come here and his posture made clear that he'd rather be somewhere else.

"Either way." Madara said in a louder voice now, apparently he hadn't missed the unease on Sasuke's part either. "I'm glad that you finally found food that agrees with you." He moved his head towards the empty plates, before he focused his full attention on Sayuri again. "It would be a shame if you would endanger the baby because of such trifles."

Again she wondered where he got that from and couldn't keep her eyes from switching to Sasuke again and she didn't fail to notice the frown on his face. Apparently he didn't know what his relative was talking about, which startled her just all the more. The only one she had told about it was Karin and it was kind of hard to believe that Karin had told that Akatsuki, but not Sasuke, but then it had only been this morning, so maybe she just hadn't seen him yet.

For a change Sasuke was looking at her as well and she could see the silent questions in his eyes and she was so taken in by her attempts to unravel them that she almost missed how the masked-man reached out a hand to her, like he meant to touch her and she was sure that this was what he intended.

She pressed herself into the corner closest to her, to reduce the area of potential contact and shield herself as best as possible. She was too shocked even to tell him to stop and stay away from her. That sinister feeling surrounding him was just all the stronger the closer he was and she felt how it constricted her throat and made her heart beat so fast and hard against her ribcage that she was afraid it would burst.

A gasp escaped her lips at last and her whole body was trembling with dread and she was sure that the second his fingers would reach her stomach something terrible would happen, was sure that all the negative energy surrounding him would flood through her, so she squeezed her eyes firmly shut, trying to deny his existence by refusing to see him – like that had ever worked…

"Don't touch her." Sasuke's voice reverberated through the room and the harsh tone in it was impossible to miss. Sayuri opened her eyes again and wanted to look at him, but the Akatsuki was blocking her sight, however to her relief his hand was resting on his own leg now and he had turned his head around to the young Uchiha.

"Now, now Sasuke." He murmured in a soothing voice. "There is no need to worry; we already know each other…" Here he turned back around to her and scrutinized her closely with his blood red eye, before he whispered: "Or have you already forgotten about your Temaki?"

Again that bleak chuckle that slowly led Sayuri into a deeper state of shock.

He was Temaki? He was the owner of the voice she had thought to be a mere product of her imagination? Since six days she had talked every single night with that Akatsuki, had poured her heart out to him and talked about all these personal things, she could have never ever said to a real person and now he was real after all?

He practically knew everything now. After she had talked so much about Sasuke yesterday, had cried to him because of their quarrel, had told him about all her fears concerning her future, concerning motherhood, she had even talked about how she'd rather trade the baby for a little monkey. She had always wanted to have one that would sit on her shoulder and do funny things whenever she was bored and she had told him that… All this exaggerated nonsense she had said, but far worse her deepest feelings she had tried to put as clearly and understandably as possible, because she had thought by talking about them and hearing herself say all these things, it would be easier to make sense of them and it would maybe even take away a bit of her fear. If she had known that he had been real, she would have never said a single word to him.

Or would she?

She wasn't so sure about it… Maybe she had known it all along that it wasn't merely her imagination, but had just ignored that, because she had needed to get rid of all these things. Like a confession. It's easier to believe in your own madness than in things that exceed your horizon and that's what it had – how should she have known that she had been actually talking to an Akatsuki in all this time?

Her breathing started quickening and yet it wasn't even nearly enough. All the oxygen must have left the room the second this mystery has finally been unravelled. She shouldn't have talked to him. She shouldn't have listened to him. She should have curled up in a ball and rolled away. Away from them, but now it was too late. She was trapped here in this corner, surrounded by an imaginary vacuum, nourished by panic and now she would suffocate and the last voice she's heard was his. The last face she had looked at was his. The last person she had thought of was him.

"You should leave now."

The voice sounded so far away, she couldn't even tell whom it belonged to. Everything was so vague and she felt dizzy; all her attention was focused inwards, trying to get her lungs to resume working properly and her heart to stop rampaging against her chest, but organs weren't really good listeners, so her attempts demanded all her concentration, which is why she lost track of what was going on around her.

"Calm now."

The voice demanded and in the next second she felt a hand on her mouth and behind her neck. She was already suffocating; there was no need for anyone to help with it. She tried to push the hand away, but it wouldn't move and she could feel how tears began gathering in the corners of her eyes, as another wave of panic rolled over her. Her lungs kept expanding to their fullest capacity, before they caved in abruptly as no more oxygen reached them and that in combination with her fierce but futile struggles, took the last bit of energy from her and she felt close to passing out.

The hand on her mouth vanished then and her head lolled to the front, while her body slumped down, only supported by the wall and the hand that was still on her neck. She was still conscious. Her lungs were again doing what they were supposed to do, a bit quicker still and with more effort involved, but they functioned again. Her breath was lighter now, but still came in shallow, irregular pants, but she felt strong enough to lift her head by herself and look at who was in front of her, but it took her quite an effort to keep her eyes from straying and focus them on one particular point. But the fleeting impressions she perceived were sufficient to see who was in front of her.

Her fingers were still somewhat cramped and she couldn't extend them completely, but still she managed to lift her hand and put it on Sasuke's arm, trying to tug at it so he would take it away from her. She didn't want him to touch her and although she had hardly enough strength to move his arm even the fragment of an inch, he dropped it down by himself, but kept crouching in front of her, regarding her with that ever so inscrutable expression of his.

The wave of dizziness that had hit her as a result of the oxygen deficiency was slowly subsiding and her head became clearer now and after taking a few more, controlled breaths, she felt composed enough to trust in her speech organs.

"You owe me an explanation." She tried her best to make her voice sound steady and calm and considering that she had just overcome a panic fit – the second this week, which was quite alarming – she thought she was doing rather well.

"Why is that?" Sasuke asked eventually and narrowed his eyes slightly, not liking the demanding tone she had used.

"Maybe because I'm the mother of your unborn child?"

Perfect timing for pulling out the pregnancy trump card – how was he supposed to say no to that? They would have to talk about the baby some day, so why not now? She's just had a literal anxiety attack and was still somewhat weak-kneed and shaky, so maybe he'd have some mercy.

"Hn." He emitted a musing sound and eyed her for a while, before he nodded rather unenthusiastically and turned around to take a seat on her futon as well, with a good distance to her though, which she definitely welcomed.

"What do you want to know?" He leaned against the wall, his face directed to the front, so she could only see the profile of his face and it put her at ease to not have him look at her. He had a way of looking at you that made you think he could see right into your head and there was usually something condemnatory in his eyes that managed to make you feel inferior and he didn't hesitate to make use of that. Therefore it was good that he relieved her of the burden of his gaze.

"Everything…" She murmured and used her hands to push herself up, so she wouldn't just hang there, neither lying nor sitting, and leaned against the wall as well, so her face was turned into the same direction as Sasuke's, her eyes focused on the long burned-out candle on the table. He didn't respond and remained seated behind a barrier of silence, placed right between them, so she figured she'd have to be a little more precise in order to get him to talk.

"Just what are you doing with that Akatsuki? You hate Akatsuki – Itachi was an Akatsuki and that Deidara – so why in the world are you with them now?" She couldn't keep a desperate tone out of her voice, but Sasuke didn't seem to pay attention to that and answered in a calm, detached tone.

"I met Madara for the first time during a mission. He told me who he was and that Itachi wasn't who I thought he was." He paused briefly, his thoughts wandering back to the day that had changed his whole life. "He didn't even tell me nearly enough and then asked me to follow him. He left me with two weeks to decide about what I would do."

"And you at once decided to go with him, of course." Sayuri interrupted him bitterly. Actually she had meant to let him talk to the end, but it was impossible. Someone ran into him and planted some ideas in his head – not even nearly enough – and he at once believed him and left everything behind to join him. That sounded a lot like him… not… And then it was just as she had thought; it happened during that mission, as he came back too early and she found him drinking and he had assured her over and over again that nothing had happened. Liar.

"I don't have to talk to you." He hissed coldly and caused Sayuri to bite into her bottom lip, before she nodded, still with her eyes turned away from him.

"Then what is it with Itachi? You called him a victim of Konoha's administration – what does that mean?" She enquired hesitantly, trying her best to stay calm and put everything as brief as possible, so she wouldn't end up angering him and make him leave without telling her a thing.

"Itachi was a double agent. He was supposed to keep watch on Konoha for the Uchiha and on the Uchiha for Konoha. The Uchiha were blamed for the attack of the Kyuubi eighteen years ago and ever since then they have been under constant surveillance of the ANBU Black Ops. My father was the leader of a resistance group and planned a coup d'état against Konoha. Itachi knew that it would lead to war if he should put his plans into action and in that case not only the Uchiha but also the villagers would have suffered severe losses and other countries might have used that chance for an attack. It would have most likely led to the Fourth Great Shinobi War and Itachi has been the one who had the possibility to prevent that. Konoha's elders placed the burden on his shoulders and ordered him to annihilate his own clan and that's what he did then, to ensure peace in the Fire Country, but he failed his mission, because he wasn't able to kill me…" His voice trailed off and there was such a weirdly vacant expression on his face – like he was hearing this for the first time himself and seemed about just as incredulous as her.

"He then went to the Third Hokage and asked him to protect me from the elders and make sure I'd never get to know what really happened, so I could carry on thinking of my family with pride. He had to abandon the village then and joined Akatsuki, so he could keep an eye on them and especially Madara from the inside." He paused again and Sayuri was glad about it, since she had some problems with following him.

Madara had said that he had been Itachi's accomplice, but Sasuke hadn't mentioned him so far and now claimed that Itachi had wanted to keep him under surveillance, which somehow didn't sound like they had been particularly close or anything. In spite of her questions she couldn't get herself to utter even a single one of them and just silently waited for Sasuke to carry on, hoping she would find some answers in whatever he was going to say next.

"That night…" He murmured with audible difficulties; actually his voice sounded barely different from before, but she knew him and noticed the slight tremor accompanying the end of each syllable he pronounced. "That night Itachi put the goal of revenge in my mind. He wanted me to strive to become stronger than him, to make sure I would be able to look after myself and eventually find and kill him to attain the Mangekyou Sharingan that way. He planned it all along. He planned to die at my hands, so I would be regarded as a hero in Konoha and could purge the name of Uchiha off its past. In all this time I hated him, thought he hated me just as much, but Madara told me I was wrong, that in reality I was the most important person to him. Konoha's elders were the ones who discriminated the Uchiha for years and forced my brother to kill his own family and they will pay for that. That is why I'm here. I will help Madara with attacking Konoha to make up for all the pain my family has suffered." His voice lowered into a hiss and as it seemed he had now reached the end of his explanations.

She had never heard him talk so much at a stretch and first needed some time to digest what she had just heard and didn't really know how to feel about that… On the one hand she was almost able to sympathize with Itachi and also Sasuke for having gotten into this dreadful situation, for always stumbling into one shitty situation after the other, but then she was still doubtful about this whole story and most of all she was angry.

What he said just didn't make any sense. He could have also talked gibberish and it would have ended up the same way. In case all of this should be true and Itachi had actually been a good person and he apparently changed his mind about him, then what was he doing here? Shouldn't he then follow Itachi's last wish and carry on living in Konoha and protect it with all his might? Why did he just trample on his brother's last will?

"So this is it?" She asked and shook her head in disbelief, fury coiling in the pit of her stomach, desperate for release and she was still too weak and unsettled from the previous episode to keep it in rein. "This is what you ruined everything for? You ruined _everything_ just because of something that Akatsuki said? Anyone could make up such a story – you're not one to trust people easily, so how come you so readily follow that Akatsuki?"

She had moved to sit on her knees, so she could look at him directly, but his face remained turned away from hers, her desperate words seeming to just bounce off his skin and leave him entirely cold.

"In my childhood there have been many things I didn't understand; scraps of conversations I picked up, all this secretive behaviour and then that night…" His voice was fully controlled now and yet there was a melancholic tone in it, something she had gotten used to in the last weeks they had still been together and yet it surprised her at this point, since it was the first time he sounded almost soft as he talked to her. "Many things start to make sense now, so there must have been some truth in his words."

_Many things?_

_Some truth?_

What was about these indefinite words? He came here because there was a slight chance that that masked-guy might have spoken some truth that made him see many things, he had actually put behind him already, in a somewhat different light. From his choice of words and especially from how wary he had seemed in his presence, she doubted that he trusted his relative and yet he had altruistically decided to help him with his plans, just because he had convinced him that they would coincide with his own and he actually bought that. He left them all because of some mere speculations, because there was again that goal of revenge Itachi had apparently set for him in reach, because he just couldn't abandon the way of living he had pursued for more than half his life, because none of them had ever managed to mean more to him than himself.

"Unbelievable." She shook her head again and could feel tears forming in her eyes, but she hardly cared, because it were angry tears, so only a minor sign of weakness. Still she now finally drew Sasuke's gaze towards her, although he still hadn't moved and merely observed her from the corner of his eye, but this way she was at least sure that her laments didn't fall entirely on deaf ears.

"You never get enough. You could have everything you ever dreamed of and you'd still strive for more and don't even care about what you do to other people. What about the others? What about Juugo? What about Naruto? What about me…?" She looked down and put a hand to her stomach, suddenly not so sure if it really was just anger that caused these tears, she was still trying to hold where they were.

"What about us…?" She bit into her bottom lip since it had started quivering and then her voice had come out so feeble that she needed a few seconds to recollect herself, before she could carry on. "Don't you know how many people there are that care about you and feel hurt by what you're doing or do you really not care?"

He mutely watched the tears finally break loose, blurring her vision, but still that blank look on his face was just far too clear and she hated him for his deficiencies, for his inability to show emotions, for his talent to hurt her without even doing anything, for the way he just sat there, while her whole world was crashing down all around her.

"How could you do that to us?" Her chest was again heaving so rapidly that she feared she'd start hyperventilating again, but this time it were merely the sobs she tried to repress, but could no longer do so. She raised her knees close to her chest, clinging to them like they were a lifebuoy, just in case her tears would flood the room. Hopefully he would drown in the result of what he had done to her; it would serve him just right… "W-we're having a baby and you… you just left… how could you do that…?"

"I didn't know about the baby." He said in a steady voice and yet she could see a hint of agitation in his eyes, or maybe that was just because his whole face was swimming in her vision, but she was sure he was still angry, because as it seemed he seriously believed she had meant to hide that from him.

"Neither did I, but now you do and still…" She whined and leaned into her hands, letting the tears flow. It was too late for acting strong now, so there was no point in torturing herself any longer, he was good enough at that anyway, so why should she make it easier for him? "If you'd really want the baby you wouldn't do this… you wouldn't…"

Unable to speak past the lump in her throat, she resigned herself to crying, wishing he'd just get up and walk out now, so she could lie down and curl up like a child, just lie here and do nothing but weeping, but he stayed where he was, so all she could do was press her mouth against her knees to smother the sobs and hide her face in her hands to have at least a little bit of privacy. Shield herself from his pitiless gaze, the stranger that had invaded his eyeballs and was lurking there, using every chance to take over his host, or maybe he had already done so and she couldn't bear looking into his eyes, because it made her see how small and weak his old self had become.

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder, pulling her to the side, until her head bumped against something hard. Startled by the sudden movement, she needed a few seconds to realize it was Sasuke's chest and he now put an arm around her back stiffly, holding her petite body close to him. After the first seconds of shock, she stemmed her hands against his stomach, trying to push away from him, but he wouldn't let her.

"Let go!" She wailed, her anger getting lost among the tears choking her voice, but he remained relentless like a vice, giving her comfort when she didn't want it, suddenly deciding to be there, now that she had already given up on him.

"Let go of me… I don't need you anymore… I thought you… you would… but you left me and… and I hate you…" She snivelled and started pounding her shaky fists against his torso, over and over again, until her strength left her and even then she carried on, but he didn't even flinch and just kept holding her tightly.

"I hate you… why don't you let me go?" She broke down like a frail tree, exhaustion ending her vain attempts at fighting him. Weakly her head fell against his chest, her fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt and he pulled her closer still, so close it almost hurt and yet this time she didn't even mind. Her chest was heaving fitfully against his still, seemingly empty one and he held her just there, smoothed her hair and waited for her to calm down, without ever saying a word. After everything he did to her it shouldn't feel so good to be with him. She wished she could stay here in his arms forever, but she didn't allow herself to surrender to her weak will.

She placed a flat hand on his chest and pushed herself back and this time he let her and watched her sit up and slide backwards towards the wall again, needing the distance to keep a clear head.

"How do you imagine things to be from now on?" She said the words slowly, trying her best to keep every trace of shakiness out of her voice and wiped the tears from her face. This part was very important and she didn't want her perception to be overshadowed by her emotions, so by appearing calm she hoped she'd actually manage to also feel that way. "Do you plan to keep me here until the baby is born?"

"Not until…" Sasuke said and kept looking into her eyes in a challenging manner and she forced herself not to turn away, although the fact that she had been crying made her want so even more. "The baby will need its mother."

"So that's your plan?" She gave a disbelieving laugh and shook her head slightly. "What if I don't want that? I thought I was replaceable…"

He narrowed his eyes angrily, but she wasn't sure if that was because of her disagreement, or because of Madara's words she had just repeated; he had also looked grim the moment he had said that, so who knew? Or maybe it was a mixture of both. "You expect me to care for the baby and what about you? You're the father – what will you do?"

He ceased to respond, but that was more expressive than any words he could have used.

"For you life will carry on like nothing happened and I'll be the one who has to give up everything to take care of the baby. How am I supposed to carry on working? Shall I go on a mission with a baby sling or run through the hospital with a carrycot? For me everything will change, because I'll be the one who is stuck with the baby, while you run around and raid villages. Just how do you imagine things to be from now on? Tell me, because I don't know it. I don't want to be a simple housewife. I'm only 18, I want to see my friends, go on dangerous missions and I just want to do what I want, whenever I want – I know how selfish that sounds but I can't help feeling that way and-" She broke up and finally averted her eyes from Sasuke's in exchange for the dusty floor.

She talked about her normal life; how it would be to be a mother in normal circumstances – like going back to that was even possible now… not only selfish but also naïve. There was no way that they could go back. _They_ – because Sasuke had already pointed out that she'd stay with the baby and she doubted he would leave it, so they would apparently stay together and since Sasuke didn't plan on going back to Konoha that apparently wasn't an option for her either.

Now she probably knew as much about her future as Karin did and just hoped that their '_theys'_ wouldn't coincide, but then she didn't want to surrender to a future he had laid out for her. Just because they were having a baby didn't mean he was her master now or anything. She had her own head and her own plans, in a way, and she didn't want to be submissive to him and just leave all decisions to him, but the problem was that he was so much stronger than her and possessed the power to make her do as he pleased and not only by relying on force…

"It can't be helped. The baby will come and we'll both have to make sacrifices for it – it doesn't matter if voluntarily or not…" His voice trailed off and there was a sharp look in his eyes that told her that he wasn't happy about her attitude towards the whole thing.

"_Both_?" She asked in a high-pitched voice. "What sacrifices will you make? Will you rob a toy store before you attack Konoha and get killed there?"

"I only plan on attacking the elders. They are to blame for what happened to my clan. I don't care about the rest."

"And you think they'll just let you? Do you seriously believe the villagers will just stand back and watch how you take out three of their highest personalities?"

"That's what Madara is there for…" He said in a low voice and his face became more sombre, it always did when he talked about the Akatsuki.

"But I thought you were supposed to help Madara and not the other way around. Will he take on an entire village just so you can take care of your personal revenge? How would he benefit from that?" She asked and started coughing lightly. All the crying had caused her to dehydrate and her throat felt dry and her head swam. She put a hand to her throat and coughed again, against her attempts at repressing it, but it was hard with that unpleasant, scratchy feeling.

"We use each other." He slid to the edge of the futon, picked her water bottle off the ground and passed it to her. "You don't need to know the details."

"You don't have any idea what you are doing, right?" She asked bitterly, once she had emptied the entire bottle to fight the thirst and saw him glare at her over his shoulder – he clearly didn't like being criticised this way. "You'll be a horrible father – in case you should even live long enough to become one… You don't care about anyone but yourself and once you've set your mind on something you stick to it – regardless of how stupid it is. You think you would want a baby because someday in the past you decided to resurrect your clan, but in reality you don't want it yourself – you only want an heir and not an actual child."

"Hmpf." He snorted and rested his arms on his bent knees, his face turned away from her.

Not even a proper answer and yet she couldn't even get close to unravel the meaning of this one sound. She was sure she had hit the mark and that he just didn't like hearing the truth this plainly. Or was he maybe offended by her opinion about him? He did look somewhat downcast, but what did she know? After all he had his back turned to her, so she couldn't even see his face, but still it was something about his posture.

She hadn't wanted to be so harsh and that after he had actually comforted her, but still she had been right, so why in the world was she feeling so guilty now? This wasn't even nearly as bad as all the things he had said to her and he apparently didn't have a guilty conscience, so what was wrong with her?

She kept staring at his back, her eyes fixed on the red and white fan on his back. The distance between them was almost palpable and she was suddenly desperate to overcome it, in spite of everything her head told her. So she moved closer to him and hesitantly slipped her hands under his arms, before she leaned her forehead against the nape of his neck and felt him stiffen at the touch and although that should have probably made her insecure about her action, it didn't. On the contrary, it only fed her irrational feelings and then a stupid part of her murmured:

"I missed you."

…

…


	32. Dilemma

**32. Dilemma**

You should think that after what happened the day before everything should be fine, or maybe not fine but at least on an upward trend, but that wasn't true. It had been a moment of weakness on both their parts. She had given in to her old feelings for him and he – she didn't even know about him… Maybe it was the same or maybe he had just tried to make her compliant by showing affection or not even so much…

They had sat there for quite a while, without saying anything. He had reached his hands up to hold hers and that was it. Neither of them had apologized for any of the things they had said or done and they hadn't resumed talking about any of these substantial topics either. It would have been too easy to fall back into old patterns and start accusing each other if they had, so they had circumvented these things, had moved in wide circles around each other out of fear of touching some of the far too numerous delicate topics that would end up widening the gap between them.

She was really unhappy with how things had turned out. She hadn't wanted to come crawling back to him. She hadn't forgiven him for what he had done to her, but now it might seem that way. She didn't want him to think that she would just put up with everything; that he could treat her however he liked and she'd still be there. She had been far too acquiescing anyway. She had shunned any kind of conflict and had rather given up her own position just to keep the peace, and where had that gotten her? Nowhere. So why keep it up? But then she was maybe interpreting a bit too much into that situation. They hadn't made up or anything of that sort. She had been upset because of the whole situation and had said things she had rather kept to herself and he had merely comforted her, because she was an upset and more importantly pregnant woman, someone who shouldn't be under so much stress, so he had tried to calm her – for the baby's sake.

She had pulled away from him after some time and had forestalled an awkward situation by telling him she was tired. He had gotten the hint at once and left her then – for the first time entirely alone, without even her good friend Madara to keep her company.

She still couldn't believe that it had been him. Just what kind of a person was he to pull up such a show? He must have done it to sound her out, so he could assess how she'd handle the situation and if she would cause him trouble, and then there was also something else – he must have been the one who had let her out that night. Here he had come to talk to her about the role she would play and about her baby – the new hope of the Uchiha clan – and about how she should apologize to Sasuke, when a few days prior to that he had helped her to escape.

Just what kind of a game was he playing? Maybe he had planned it, so that Sasuke would find her. After all she had been locked here for six days already then and he had only ever talked to her on day one and had given her a wide berth in the meantime. He had been forced to talk to her then, but it hadn't turned out too well and two days later Madara had dragged him with him, trying to reconcile them, like he was a kindergartener.

It hasn't been Sasuke, who had wanted him to do so, that's why he had seemed so reluctant the whole time. Madara was a deceitful, manipulative person and she doubted that he had been truthful to Sasuke about his aims, doubted he had spoken a single sincere word, as he had been here yesterday. He was highly dangerous, that much was certain and she wished for a way to get Sasuke away from him, but he persistently stuck to his opinion so it would be impossible. Maybe if she told him that he let her out, she could make him change his mind about him, but she was afraid of doing so.

First Madara would probably have an excuse up his sleeve and then it would probably end bad for her, because she had turned against him, or worse even it might come to a conflict between Sasuke and him and who knew what might happen then… He was definitely dangerous and cunning, there was such an evil aura surrounding him – he wasn't the kind of person you wanted to have against you, so she should probably keep quiet about it and try to appeal to his sanity in another way.

She couldn't just let him go to Konoha – none of them. Sasuke was already strong, but she was sure that Madara was even stronger and if they should really attack the Hidden Leaf… She didn't even want to imagine just how much damage they could do, but also what would happen to them – or not them, but Sasuke… Madara could go to hell for all she cared.

She had wondered if Madara would nevertheless show up again and pull off that flute-thing now that she knew it was him, but he hadn't. Fortunately. Still she hadn't slept a wink all night, although she had told Sasuke she was tired, which has actually been true. She hadn't really slept the day before, because she had been too busy with pouring her heart out to 'Temaki' – the mere memory of that made her feel sick to her stomach again. Then this night she had been too churned up for sleep.

Against her resolution, her whole conversation with Sasuke had played through her mind over and over again and then the remembrance of his touch, the warmth he had exuded and then his scent hadn't left her, regardless of how much she had tried to fight it and small as her futon might be, this night it had felt far too big for only her little self… Being with him hadn't done her any good; it had only succeeded in reminding her of how alone she really was. She wondered how she could still feel this strongly for him and more importantly how she could possibly fight it.

She had spent the whole night and most parts of the morning with puzzling over that, but then she had forced herself to occupy herself otherwise, so she had washed her hair, with the by now pretty small bar of soap, which smelled so nice like jasmine and ylang-ylang and more importantly like home and actually managed to mask the mouldy smell of this room, for at least five full minutes. Then she had used it to wash some of her dirty clothes as well, which had given her another five minutes of pleasantly smelling air. She had hung her clothes from the table, using some stones to make sure they wouldn't fall down and get dirty right away and then Suigetsu had come, just as always with the worst possible timing.

She had tried to hang something over her underwear, so he wouldn't see it, but of course it had been too late and he had at once dropped a remark that had made her want to haul all the stones she had gathered against his head. Solely knowing that it was useless had kept her from doing so, although it had nevertheless been quite tempting.

He had talked about his deal again and before he had even finished, she had told him to save his breath, since she wouldn't do it anyway. He had looked pretty baffled then and she had felt quite some satisfaction at the sight. He had tried to negotiate, but she had remained resolute and then he had left, telling her that if she'd rather grow lonely it was fine with him, but in that moment it had rather seemed like he was the one who was lonely.

Actually she had meant to agree to him and his deal, but after yesterday she had reconsidered her decision again. She had thought that maybe now that she had talked to Sasuke in a fairly normal way, he'd come more often and maybe she'd even get some privileges, like going out or something, but the second Suigetsu was gone, she had been sure it wouldn't happen.

They had more or less talked everything through – there were a lot of open questions still, but since neither of them had an answer to them, they would probably remain open for quite some time. She had almost called him back and sold out the reason for why she was here in the first place to the Houzuki, especially since now with Temaki gone, she was in an actual danger of growing lonely, but she had left it and as it seemed that had been a good decision.

Somewhat in the afternoon, as she had been close to starving already, since the breakfast had been quite sparse and lunch hadn't arrived yet, Sasuke had come and brought her her food. She didn't really know why he had decided to play waiter, but she'd like to think he had come to see her. In spite of her curiosity she hadn't asked him, just because she had been sure that the answer wouldn't turn out the way she would have liked, but then he was still here, so who knew?

She had first been reluctant to eat in his presence, since she would have much rather talked to him and made sure he wouldn't leave too early, but then she hadn't known what to say and her mouth had already been watering, although the food couldn't be labelled as mouth-watering, but it was okay. Nothing like that three-course menu Karin had brought her the day before, but that had been a one-off and she didn't even dare to hope of ever getting something like that again.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" She asked, after she had taken the first bite.

Multitasking now – she just ate and talked simultaneously; could be seen as bad manners, but this way she could make sure he'd stay here and wouldn't starve in the meantime, even though that was still a danger; the lack of sleep made it almost impossible to gulp down the food, in spite of her hunger.

"Hm?" He looked up from the clothes hanging from the table, which kept him from sitting down on it, but he had found a free spot to lean at, from where he now eyed the violet-haired girl with a raised eyebrow.

"You knew it so long and never told me." She murmured in a quiet voice and put the plate down again, going for speaking-only after all.

"You wouldn't have understood it, you still don't…" He shrugged casually, like this whole thing meant nothing to him, although it was the reason why their relationship had ended, which made her wonder if he had ever felt the same for her as she did for him, wondered if he had only consoled her yesterday, because he had felt like he had to and not because he still had feelings for her. How sad to think how the last weeks had managed to make her doubt a whole year of her life.

"Maybe not, but still you didn't give me a chance not to understand it… You just decided everything by yourself, like you always do. Did you never even think of maybe leaving the decision to me?" She asked and wrapped her arms around her stomach, since she was freezing, now that she had ridded herself of most layers of clothes and she didn't feel like taking her bed apart so she could cocoon herself in her blanket.

"I thought about it, but it has never been an option. I've had my own decision to make and didn't want to worry about what you'd do as well…" He said calmly and observed how Sayuri turned her eyes to the side, obviously unhappy about his words.

"Still I couldn't stop thinking about it…" He sighed and now drew Sayuri's gaze back to him, a strange light filling her grey-blue eyes. Most definitely hope. "I thought about telling you, about forcing you to come with me in case you wouldn't want it, about leaving it to you to make up your mind, but that wouldn't have worked. You could have said no, which would have been reasonable, even though I wouldn't have wanted to hear those words from you, or you could have been irresponsible and said yes and that would have been worse still… This isn't the right kind of life for you. You wouldn't manage it and I can't look after you all the time – guess I have no choice now but to try at least…"

"What if I don't want this life? I don't want to wander around from village to village without a fixed home. I don't want to be afraid of bounty hunters and all that."

"It's too late now." He said dismissively, but his voice wasn't as hard as on other occasions. Nevertheless Sayuri averted her eyes again, feeling affirmed in what she had said before. Again he had made the decision all by himself and didn't tolerate any dissent.

"Still you should have let me in on the whole thing… I wouldn't have told on you, it would have just been good to know what this was all about. You can't imagine how horrible it was not to know what was going on and you also told Karin and asked her to come with you…" She went back to the initial topic, her voice becoming bitter at the mentioning of her name.

"I didn't ask Karin. She was just there when Madara finally showed up and I thought she would be useful."

"Hmpf." Sayuri gave a sarcastic snort and bit into her bottom lip, so it wouldn't be so noticeable how the corners of her mouth were drawn down.

"And in case I would have told you and you would have decided to stay in the village, you would have been in danger. They might have interrogated you and if they found out you were lying-"

"They did interrogate me." She interrupted him and watched his face harden. He was angry, but she didn't really understand why, since it was quite obvious in consideration of the situation and it's not like it had been the first time that she had been interrogated because of him…

"What did you expect? You just left and everyone still thought I was your girlfriend…" Her eyes unlocked from his, but not quickly enough to hide the pain these memories still caused her.

"When did you know you'd leave?" She asked uneasily, having a certain situation in mind, she'd much rather forget about.

"In a way I've always known it, but at times you managed to actually make me consider staying and I hated you for that – I hated myself for having become so weak…"

"This isn't weakness…" She murmured and furrowed her brows, not so sure if what he had said was negative or positive, after all he had talked about hating her, but then in the context that almost sounded like a compliment. Like he had cared about her after all, but then if he had, he wouldn't have treated her the way he had. He wouldn't have invested so much time in hurting her, making her feel rejected and unwanted; you don't do that to people who are dear to you…

"Sayuri?" He brought her out of her thoughts and caused her to flinch slightly, before she focused her attention on him again, seeing the questioning look on his face and it took her a few seconds to know what it was about. Thinking about that horrendous week brought back all these feelings, the fear and the uncertainties and that in combination with an overload of pregnancy hormones brought her close to tears again and she still didn't know what his last action had been about.

"Why did you do it…?" She asked in a shaky voice and forced her watery eyes to meet his, but he closed them then and exhaled sharply, which made her sure he knew what she was talking about.

"I told myself it was a panic reaction." He said after a while, his voice low and a bit hesitant. "Time was running out and I still hadn't come to a decision. I was panicking and needed distraction, something to take my mind into more pleasant spheres…" The corners of his mouth were drawn up for a moment in a bleak imitation of a smile, but then his features became hard again and he shook his head, like he meant to shake off his current train of thoughts. "But that's not true. I did it to hurt you. It was all your fault and I didn't want to be the only one suffering."

"My fault?" She couldn't hide a slight tremor in her voice and wasn't able to concentrate on forcing back those tears, so they slowly ran down her face, which was now set in an upset expression. "How was it my fault?"

"You kept me from doing what I had to do. Making the decision should have been easy. It would have been easy, at any other time, but then… I wouldn't say it was the hardest decision I've ever made, but at that time it felt like that…"

This was it. This was the explanation she had been waiting for, it was even some kind of confession that he cared about her, just what she had been hoping for and yet in view of everything that happened, it just didn't seem enough.

"Do you even have any idea what you did to me?" She asked in a high voice, anger making its comeback now and she doubted that this was because of the hormones as well. "I had no idea what was going on and you were changing so much and then the way you looked at me… I tried so hard to find out what I had done to deserve being treated like that. What had I said to deserve your silence? What did I ever do but try to be there for you? B-but then you changed again and I thought it would be okay then, but then you pushed me away again and then pulled me close and – I felt like a goddamn yoyo!"

She pressed her hand against her mouth to cover a sob and just like the day before Sasuke sat down next to her and folded her with mild force into his arms. She knew that it was pointless to resist, so she curled her shaky fingers around his shirt, just so she had something to occupy them with.

"-And still you kept saying everything was fine and nothing was going on – just how stupid did you think I am? And now you sit here and hold me – like that would make things right again." She shook her head tossing the tears around, but he placed a hand on her hair and pushed her against his chest, keeping her still.

"I can't undo the things I did. I was aware that I hurt you, but I never felt sorry for you." He said and felt her stiffen in his arms. "I was too busy with myself, to care much about how you felt and yet… in those occasions when I actually realized what I did to you, I regretted it and wished I could just take you somewhere and forget anything ever happened." He shook his head lightly and moved his hand down to her shoulder. "There aren't many things I regret… but I do regret this…"

He lapsed into silence and began running his hand up and down her upper arm, while she kept leaning against his chest, concentrating on his heartbeat to help calm her again, while his words played through her mind over and over again.

He didn't feel sorry but he regretted it? Where was the difference? And what did that mean now? She wasn't quite sure if his thinking processes were just far too ingenious and complicated for her to follow, but to her what he said didn't really make sense. It hadn't exactly sounded like an apology that much was certain, but it's not like it mattered anyway, because as he said, he just couldn't undo the things he did.

"You know…" She moistened her lips, before she carried on whispering into his shirt: "We've been wondering what happened to you and came up with quite a lot of theories. Two of them were that you either betrayed us again or that you were kidnapped and were most likely dead now…" She paused as he gave a cynical snort, but then carried on like she hadn't heard it. "-and… I didn't know what was better - or worse I guess… If it would be better to know you were dead, rather than thinking you abandoned us again…"

"Hmm…" He gave a musing sound, obviously waiting for her to carry on, but as she didn't, he asked: "Have you made up your mind?"

"No… but…" She shook her head slightly and sat up, so he lowered his arms and watched her expectantly, but she kept her eyes fixed on her knees. "Nevermind…"

She really didn't know it. Of course she didn't want him to be dead, but was this so much better? Especially when you kept in mind that death still hovered over him, just waiting to finally strike… Reality contained both, betrayal and death, just great…

"Your hair is different…" She changed the subject and looked at his messy bangs that were now hanging over his eyes. "I think I liked it better the other way."

She knew that girls often change their hair when they close one chapter of their lives and she didn't want to think that he had done so too. She tried to push his bangs to the side again, so they'd look like before, but they'd just fall back into place.

She slowly lowered her hand again, admitting defeat, but then stopped it at the side of his face and looked into his eyes, stared into them like they were a crystal bowl, but they wouldn't give away anything of his future – maybe that was it… he just didn't have one.

She swallowed hard and was suddenly shaken by the weirdest medley of feelings: fear, desire, confusion, sorrow, anger, need – it was all there, posing a great contrast to the calm look in his ever so firm and yet mesmerising eyes. He must have turned off that intimidation and I-make-you-feel-unworthy-of-my-presence function and now she could look into them forever, or so she thought, but before she even knew what happened, she had closed her eyes and moved her head up, softly pressing her lips to his.

It was a brief, innocent touch, nothing fancy, hardly worth being called a kiss and yet she couldn't get herself to open her eyes again, even after she had pulled back already and let go of him, anxious about what she might see there in his face. All of this hadn't meant a thing, he was only here because they were having a baby – if it hadn't been for her pregnancy, he wouldn't even have brought her here – he wouldn't have kept Karin from killing her and although she knew all that, she couldn't stop herself from doing and saying all these stupid things – like she aimed at getting hurt again. He had only rejected her what? – Two, three, maybe ten times? Why not go for another time, just for the sake of the good old days. She wasn't entirely embittered yet, so why not trust him to give her the finishing blow?

"You should leave now." Sayuri murmured in a subdued voice and tilted her face to the side, while sliding back to get some space to him, before she dared to open her eyes again, seeing only the dark-grey floor to her feet and not maybe a disgusted look on his face, or his slightly parted lips that were about to say things that would break her heart in two. Yet again, so he would probably end up quartering it.

The stiff sheets crackled like dry leaves in autumn as he moved to the edge of the futon and she just hoped he would walk out without any comment, but of course he didn't. He didn't leave. He moved closer to her, so his knees were touching hers and she was almost forced to look at him, but just almost. She was still obstinately staring at the ground beside her sleeping place, not even willing to acknowledge his presence, but he wouldn't let her get away with that.

He placed a hand under her chin and pushed her face up to make her look at him. Her saddened eyes were hardly able to stay focused on his, so he relieved her of the effort, by pulling her into his arms, before he captured her lips in a soft but needy kiss. She wouldn't have expected this and although her mind was entirely blank at the moment and didn't have any idea how to handle this, her body was already in control of the situation.

The second his warm and so uncommonly tender lips met hers, she had already thrown her arms around his neck and pulled herself close to him, hoping that by overcoming every bit of physical space between them, she could also terminate the emotional distance, but she wasn't fool enough to believe that would work.

She placed her hands on his chest and pushed herself away from him, before she turned her face to the side again and bit into her quivering lip.

"I don't want this." She shook her head, having quite a hard time to believe that herself, since that weird feeling in her stomach definitely told her otherwise. "I don't… want to want you."

"Sayuri…" His hand was still on her shoulder, but now he moved it up and pressed it against her cheek, trying to make her face him again.

"No." She shook her head desperately and took his hand, needing to summon all her will power to push it down and more importantly let go of it again. "After everything you did I just can't trust you anymore. Who tells me you won't just change your mind the next second and push me away again? You hurt me and I just don't have the strength to go through all that again."

Her words were followed by a long silence, in which she eagerly waited for him to say something to allay her fears and make her feel stupid for merely thinking these things, but he wouldn't. He either didn't care enough to disperse her worries, or he just couldn't think of a way to do so, because he knew that he'd do it again.

It actually felt like all her blood would sink into her feet as her hopes crashed down and now she felt stupid after all, however not because of harbouring these doubts, but because of having given in to hoping,

"Just go away and… stay… away…" She said with quite some difficulties and stared at the door, hoping she'd soon see his back vanish through it, but once again he just ignored her attempt at throwing him out and pulled her back against his chest and again she noticed just how well her head fitted under his chin, how perfectly her body nested against his, like it had never been meant to be anywhere else than in his arms. Just how good she was at torturing herself…

"I mean it…" She struggled to get away from him, but he remained persistent and tried to hush her, like being calm would change anything about the situation.

"You don't." He shrugged simply and sounded so utterly convinced by his words that it made Sayuri angry to think about how he could have the audacity to tell her what she thought.

"I don't intend to hurt you again… but I can't promise it…" He said in a quiet voice and lifted her head up to kiss her, while never taking his eyes off hers. "You'll just have to see for yourself – but you'd regret it if you wouldn't try at least."

_Regret_ – again that word and again his attempts at trying to tell her what she felt or would feel.

"How do you know?" She asked, but it only took one look into his eyes to know he was right.

"I would regret it." He shrugged and eyed her in a challenging manner, while her face was frozen. Again there was more than just one way to interpret his sentence. Would he regret it, if she should decide against him, or would he regret it if he was in her position and wouldn't give him another chance?

"No." She lowered her head and looked at his hand that was still holding hers. "You're lying already. You said you didn't plan to hurt me, but you plan to attack Konoha right? You plan to attack our home, the place where our friends live and where the house is you wanted to have your children grow up in – how do you think that wouldn't hurt me?"

She met his eyes again, saw in them a mixture of sorrow, anger, frustration and maybe regret after all… "And Konoha is huge and there are a lot of skilled ninja… What if something happens to you? I don't want to lose you."

Sasuke looked at her for a couple of seconds, before he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I don't plan to die."

"But I'm also scared of what you'll do to the villagers." She tried hard to keep a straight face and hesitantly brought her hand to his face, making sure he would look into her eyes, although he wasn't one who shunned eye contact, so that wasn't really a problem. "Can't you… can't you just leave it…? We could go away from here, away from everything, just… just the three of us." She looked down at her stomach, again playing out the baby-card, but there had to be at least some advantages she could draw out of her pregnancy, right?

"You would actually leave everything behind for me?" He asked, but the sceptical tone in his voice told her that this wasn't some kind of assent or anything, he just doubted her seriousness.

"No. Not for you… Not only… I'd do it for the village… and for our baby. It's not too late yet. You could even go back to Konoha still. They have no idea what happened. For all they know you have been kidnapped." He didn't like to hear that – every single time she only mentioned the Leaf Village, she could see his face harden, so she shifted the topic quickly, before she'd lose him again. "You know, you've been wrong. I know why you feel you had to do this. You loved your family and still can't get over their loss, but… doesn't your child mean anything to you? Even if you should survive the attack, do you really want to bring your baby up on the street? You said this wasn't the right kind of life for me, but it would be okay for our baby? Would you want it to get known as the youngest nuke-nin ever? Would you expose it to the dangers of this life?"

Now she brought her other hand to his face as well and brushed her thumbs over his cheeks, but he cast down his eyes and she wasn't quite sure but she could have sworn she had felt him shake his head a little.

"Then you'll have to stop this." She murmured and tried to push his face up, the way he always did with her, but he closed his hands around her wrists and put them down.

"If you'd spend some more time in reality you would see that the world isn't a place with multiple choices." He said and lowered his head to lean it against her chest and she at once knew what it meant: There was no way. He wouldn't stop – couldn't stop, even if he wanted to…

She wrapped her arms around him and kissed the top of his head, holding him close to her heart, the thing that was against expectation still functioning and hadn't succumbed to its injuries yet.

This was new. This was the first time she gave him comfort. He might not be crying like she had done, but he probably needed the comfort just as badly.

She activated her healing chakra and used it to massage his stiff shoulders, feeling how he relaxed under the touch. Her eyes roamed over the numerous bandages that still covered a good part of his skin, pretty much everything his clothes revealed – his arms, his chest and also his forehead. She could heal them for him, but Suigetsu had said that they would set out to Konoha once their wounds were healed, so she left it, although she didn't like to see him hurt. He had gotten this badly injured during his fight with Naruto and Neji – two people – so how would it be, if he fought against the elders and all their supporters, which included an entire ANBU subdivision? All these wounds seemed like a comparatively mild harbinger of what was yet to come.

"Sasuke?" She moistened her lips and waited for him to lift his head again, finding his face look as blank and calm as ever and yet something about the way he looked at her was different. "Tell me again that I didn't know what it's like to lose someone you love. I think this time I have an answer that'll satisfy you."

…

…

It was already early evening, when Sasuke finally left Sayuri's room. In retrospect, he was sure that it would have been better if he hadn't gone to see her, but now it was too late. How she always managed to make him doubt and regret his own actions…

He should have kept her in the dark, just as he had initially planned. There has been a damn good reason, why he hadn't told her anything about this back then. Her mere presence had made it hard enough for him. Everytime he had only thought about leaving – not so much the village, but leaving her – it had drawn him right into her arms and in these moments he would have probably done everything for her and doing what he had to do had seemed impossible and in these moments she had turned into the person he hated the most. He had hated her for the power she had over him and that without even trying or knowing what she was doing.

It had been these bonds that had made him weak, but they had been too strong for him to severe, like he should have done. In the past it wouldn't have taken him a second of hesitation to cut the bonds to the people close to him when the situation had demanded it and he's never understood why it had been different with her.

It hadn't even been the first time that he hadn't gotten himself to push her out of his life, but he had actually thought he had managed this time. Had really thought that after what happened between them it would finally be over and he could again become the person he was supposed to be, but he had been wrong. It had only taken to see her cry and her tears seemed to have washed away all his resolutions and now he found himself seizing every opportunity to be close to her, when being close to her was the last thing he should do, because of all the doubts she sowed in his mind. But it's not like he had a choice any longer. They were having a baby. He was only a few months away from having a family again, but still he couldn't simply forget about his old family. How could he even think of looking into the future, when he hadn't come to terms with his past yet? There were too many open matters still, a bad foundation for starting a new life and yet he couldn't forget about the things she had said.

She had asked him to retell her everything Madara had told him in minutest detail and she had noticed the same inconsistencies he had also picked up. She didn't trust Madara in the least and quite frankly he didn't either, but then he didn't plan to follow him blindly, but wanted to use him, just so it would be easier for him to realize his own plans. Sayuri was right – Konoha was huge and alone things would be hard for him, but with the support he had he should be able to get to the elders and that's all he needed.

Nevertheless her talk about Itachi and how he could so inconsiderately throw away everything his brother sacrificed his life for, had gotten to him. Madara had asked him the same thing, had asked him if he wouldn't rather follow in Itachi's footsteps after hearing his story, but he had negated without needing to give much thought to it. Protecting the people who took everything from him, would be the last thing he'd ever do, but now… Things were different now. He wasn't alone any more, he was about to have a family again, he could no longer claim to have nothing – no one – and how could he do something that might endanger these people? Something that might make him lose them again? But that's where the dilemma came in.

In case he would attack Konoha, something could happen to him, something that might make him unable to care for his family, but in any case he would officially become a nuke-nin, would end up being hunted by both the Land of Fire and maybe also the Land of Lightning, if they ever found out that it had been him who had captured the brother of the Raikage…

If he would decide to draw back from the whole thing, he would get in trouble with Madara. He was just a single person, so that wasn't that much of a problem, but then Konoha's elders would carry on living without atoning for their wrongs and how could he live with that? They might be safe then from Konoha, but he'd most likely spend the rest of his life hating both Sayuri and their child for having taken his revenge from him. Things would become the same again, he'd hurt her just in order to feel better and she had altered… she wouldn't put up with that again and then he'd end up losing everything after all. But would he really be able to hate her?

She was already making him uncertain, even more than before, because she now knew what was going on and tried her best to discourage him from his plans and yet he didn't even hold that against her. He could understand her, after all she had made it pretty clear to him. She had never been one to talk much about her feelings and had usually kept things to herself and left it to him to unravel the meaning of that weird inward smile that spoke of a certain pain, or that faraway look in her eyes that always made him wonder what was really going on in her head.

But not today. She had told him everything, hadn't held back a single detail, nothing of what she had felt because of him, all her fears and worries for the future – everything. She had bluntly told him how much he had hurt her and had actually made him feel guilty. And then her talk about going to live at some far away place, somewhere where nothing of what happened could catch up to them – the three of them – had actually summoned those images in front of his mind's eye and for a few seconds he had caught himself contemplating to grant her wish.

She had managed to unsettle him already, but did he hate her for that? He couldn't even tell. Maybe he did, but then that would also prove the opposite and at the moment this _opposite_ was prevailing…

That's why he wasn't on his way to his room yet, but was heading straight towards one of the outer wings of this huge building. It wasn't like the rest of the rooms and corridors. It was situated right in the centre of the huge mountain chain that was hiding the base and was left for the most part in its natural state. There were many stone pillars, looking like fossilized seaweed the way they wound up to the high ceiling – this might have actually once been an underwater cave, so who knew?

His way led him through numerous broad corridors, all lined by these weird seaweed pillars, until he finally came into a wide, open hall with a round, slightly elevated platform in the middle, that was surrounded by yet more pillars, holding a lower, separate roof on them that marked this spot as a separate section.

Unfalteringly he walked up the two steps that led to the conference area. There was only a large, heavy stone table, with two bleak, throne-like chairs on either side of it that seemed to be made of stone and bones, and didn't really look inviting and yet one of the chairs was occupied, just as expected.

"Sasuke." The masked-man said in his low voice as he watched how the young Uchiha took the chair on the opposite side of the table and looked at him with an inscrutable expression. "I already wondered when you'd come."

"So you know why I'm here." Sasuke said in a blank voice, not allowing himself to show any emotions that would tell Madara that his words surprised him.

"I assume I do." The Akatsuki nodded and eyed Sasuke sharply, taking a dramatic pause, before he carried on. "You've been with Sayuri, you talked and now you wonder if you are really doing the right thing. Am I right?"

He didn't respond, but that wouldn't have been necessary anyway, it wasn't easy to fool Uchiha Madara, after all he nearly had a century more experience than him.

"It was a most untimely coincidence for her to show up now of all times and then pregnant even and yet she couldn't have appeared at a better moment. This should actually take a weight off your mind, but of course it doesn't…" He got up from his chair and started straying to and fro beside the table with his hands clasped behind his back, which gave him a pensive air. "It turned into yet another burden… yet another thing you have to keep in mind when you plan your further actions. And I am sure that Sayuri doesn't think too highly of your plans, does she?"

"It doesn't matter what she thinks." Sasuke said bleakly and kept his coal black eyes fixed on the Akatsuki. He knew that Madara posed no threat to him. At least for the time being… He needed him and as long as that was the case he had nothing to fear from him and yet he couldn't help being wary and overly alert every time he was near him.

"No. You should think it wouldn't." Madara said in a musing tone and came to a stop now, only two steps away from his relative, whom he scrutinized for a long moment. "And yet you're here."

He looked at the younger man closely, apparently trying to assess the degree of his doubts, but Sasuke was well-trained, his eyes were made to inquire, not to reveal and yet he was never really sure if Madara wasn't able to see underneath the impenetrable barriers shielding his mind after all. Maybe that was what unsettled him so much about him, his eyes failed to see through Madara's disguise, so what if they also failed in hiding his own thoughts?

"I'm not quite familiar with the subject matters taught at the academy these days, but I am convinced they still preach that emotions are a shinobi's worst enemy. Up to now you have been certain and decided. Before you have allowed your emotions to taint your vision, you have known what to do and it's still the same thing, only that your way of seeing it might have changed, but that doesn't make it any less right." The masked-man finished his scrutiny and went back to his chair on the other side of the table.

"You are about to restore the Uchiha-clan, at this point there is no more doubt about that, but could you bear to see your children grow up in an unjust world? Eighteen years ago Konoha cast the blame of the Kyuubi's attack on the Uchiha, just so that they would have a reason to keep them under surveillance and ultimately to justify the order of killing an entire clan – roughly fifty people, a quarter of which weren't even ninja. Who tells you that something like that won't happen again? The Sharingan is one of the strongest Doujutsu – every village would like to get a hold of it and yet they fear it all the same. Fear leads to rage, rage to hate and in the end they'll seek another pretext, a volcanic eruption maybe, since the Uchiha are known for their proficiency in fire jutsu and then your new family will suffer the same fate as your old one; the same fate that befalls every powerful clan in the end. Now could you reconcile it with your conscience to let that happen?"

Madara finished and watched the thoughtful expression on Sasuke's face, which he regarded as a good sign and he was right. In that moment Sasuke went through everything the Akatsuki had told him and not only now but in general. Everything Madara had said sounded reasonable enough and had a logic in itself and yet, after hearing about his child, he was beginning to understand Itachi's point of view. He didn't want the situation to escalate into a full-out war and that is what would happen in case Madara would unleash the Bijû he had collected on Konoha and moreover he didn't want his descendants to be held responsible for his actions.

When he would attack Konoha, the name of Uchiha would for all time be stained with the blood of his victims. It would be like Sayuri had said; their child would get known as the youngest nuke-nin ever and would have to live a life as such. It would grow up without a fixed home, without school, without friends, without the naivety of childhood – only with an exceptional ability to make out suspicious persons with a single look and a natural distrust that will disable any childlike perceptions.

It would be his fault when his child would have to suffer the life of an outcast and that only because its father had decided to put his trust into a random stranger who claimed to be his relative and fed him with story after story, truth after truth, one more unbelievable than the other. A tiny part of him still hadn't disposed of the possibility that he might be lying, but what if not? What if he really was telling the truth? How could he go back to his old life, when there was even the tiniest chance that he was the real deal?

"I understand the intricacies of your position." Madara brought him out of his thoughts and caused his until then unfocused eyes to sharpen in an instant. "You're facing a completely new and most of all unexpected situation, so it's only natural that you have doubts, but you are not yet in a hurry to make your final decision. It will take a couple of more days for your injuries to heal and our preparations to be completed and I promise I won't take any actions before you've made up your mind. You see, there is no pressure, but maybe it would be better if you'd stop seeing her for a while." His voice dropped an octave lower, gaining a nearly hypnotic quality. "Unlike you she has made up her mind, but only because she isn't involved and is not able to relate to what happened to you, otherwise she couldn't be so convinced of her viewpoint. However her conviction becomes your uncertainty, which makes her an obstacle. And you know what you do with obstacles, don't you? So you shouldn't let it get that far…"

This implicit threat hovered in the room for quite some time, in which the two men merely stared into each other's eyes, both trying to figure out what was going on beyond them.

"You misjudge her influence on me. I have made my decision and I will stick to it, it's the arrangements I'm worried about." Sasuke said in a cold voice and watched his opposite nod, so he got up from his chair and turned to leave, before he'd run the risk of losing his composure.

"And Sasuke?" Madara held him back as he was just about to walk past him. "You have been inattentive. It was foolish to let those ANBU get away, but nevermind, I had someone take care of them, but don't expect me to take care of your matters all the time."

"That won't be necessary." Sasuke said blankly and walked away, feeling how his already narrow range of choices has only just slimmed down to one.

…

…

The greater part of her imprisonment, she has been blessed with the ability to fall asleep wherever she liked, whenever she liked and whether she was tired or not hadn't made much of a difference. That has been the first and only advantage she had seen in her pregnancy and now she couldn't even claim that anymore, which left her only with disadvantages. Like the fact that she could eat the whole day without ever getting enough, but then feeling sick because of certain foods or just the smells of them, but not knowing beforehand or at times even afterwards which and then the mood swings…

She wasn't so sure if they had only just gotten started or if the seclusion just made her notice them all the more and get irritated by them and if she already couldn't stand being in a room with herself, than how were others supposed to do so? But then the others didn't have to endure her presence as long as she was forced to do, so maybe they didn't even notice. She was sure she had managed to appear quite composed and balanced with people around… not… There was no point in denying that it didn't exactly take much to make her cry, and yet she has never even shed nearly as many tears as in the last weeks. In at least 70% of the cases it had been justified tough, but not in the rest, like when she had started crying because she had hit her toe on a stone or because of being frustrated that she couldn't sleep and had ended up banging her head against her pillow. Wasn't even that long ago… But then keeping in mind the general situation should excuse her emotional outbursts.

She was pregnant and hungry and she had only just managed to get two hours of sleep when she was roused out of her dreams, which had revolved around cupcakes and pies that had frolicked around in the sugar-sweet land of confectionary, until a greyish brown slime had seeped in and turned it into a dreary mire – what a nightmare! In the first seconds she has actually been glad about being relieved from having to see her fantasies get killed by the realities of her confinement, but really only in the first seconds.

Once her head had freed itself from the lingering remnants of her little, definitely unsatisfactory nap, she managed to make out the reason for her being awake now: a flute.

Her blood ran cold in an instant and she wanted to pull the blanket over her head and squeeze her eyes firmly shut – hear no evil, see no evil – but that wouldn't work, because this wasn't a ghost or the boogeyman or any other childish manifestation of fear, but the living incarnation of evil itself. At least that's the impression he had left on her.

Her eyes fluttered open slowly, although she would have rather kept them shut, but then at least knowing what was going on should help easing her fear a little. Presumably. Reality looked different though. With her eyes open she had turned her head towards the door, where she assumed the source of the sound to be, but she had been mistaken.

Run. The first thing that came into her mind was running. Running away from the man in the unmistakable cloak with the red clouds on it. She had to run – but where to? The reason why she was in this room was so that she couldn't run away, so what should she do?

Scream. The next thought. If she couldn't run she wanted to scream. Had to scream. Scream so his ears would burst and everyone would hear her and come, just so she wouldn't be alone with him. Screaming was her only option, but her voice must have abandoned her. She could only bring out a hoarse croak and eventually a few shaky syllables, which rather verged on a whisper than a scream though.

"W-what are you doing here?" She started up from her bed and pulled her blanket up to her chin, like it was an impenetrable shield that would save her from the man, who was against expectation not outside her room, but sat on the table in the very centre of it.

"I thought it would be more convenient than talking through a door." He lowered his hand which had been hidden under his mask up to then and now she saw that it hadn't been a flute, but a small, silver harmonica, which then vanished in his closed fist.

"Get out or… or I'll call Sasuke!" She improvised in a desperate tone, not liking the idea of her here alone in a room with him and then without any chance to escape.

"You could indeed do that, but since he isn't here you'd only scream your throat raw and that wouldn't be in your interest now would it?" Madara asked and watched Sayuri curl her lips unhappily, resigning to the logic of his statement. "And actually I've always had the impression that you enjoyed my visits, so what is different now?"

"What do you want?"

"Hm…" He observed her closely, not having missed the slight tremor in her voice.

"I'm quite unhappy with what you are doing…" His voice trailed off, something she had often noticed about his way of speaking. He liked taking some slight pauses in which he could read his listeners' reaction and keep them in suspense. This way he made sure to keep the leading position in a conversation – just about everything he did was meant to make him appear superior to anyone else. "You are agonizing him. He will do what he has to do. You can't change that. All you do is make him doubt and these doubts will make him weak. Do you know what happens to weak people on the battlefield? Do you want your baby to grow up without a father?"

What a question. Of course she didn't want to raise their baby alone and he very well knew that, since she had told him often enough. Maybe that was why he had pulled off this whole show. He had meant to analyse her behaviour, her way of thinking and so on, just so that he knew how to manipulate her and it worked… What else could she do now but to shake her head and give him the affirmation he expected?

"You can say what you want about Sasuke, but you can't deny that he cares about his family. Do you want him to die, before he's even seen his offspring? Do you want to take that from him?"

He kept treading on safe ground, only asking questions he knew her answers to anyway, questions that only took one single answer.

"Of course not. That's why I'm trying to stop him." Sayuri said with utter conviction, although she doubted that she could make him change his mind, but still that wouldn't keep her from trying. There was too much at stake, she couldn't give up yet and if she should make him weak, than that was a good thing, because maybe then he'd realize that there was no way for him to put his plans into action. Hopefully.

"You still don't understand this. It's almost a shame that he didn't pick a more understanding partner." Again Madara paused, giving her some time for a feeling of insult to sink in. "He is doing this to protect his family and now you're a part of his family too, so he is also doing this to protect you. He does it so his children or grandchildren or any part of his family won't suffer the same fate as him. The Uchiha are a powerful clan. Konoha is afraid of them. They tolerated Sasuke because Itachi protected him and being a single person, they didn't see him as a threat. But once the clan grows they'll be seized by fear again and that's when history will repeat itself. It might not happen during your lifetime still, but it will happen. That's why he wants to act now.

"You're not making sense." Sayuri interjected. She had carefully listened to him and just waited for a chance to add her part to the conversation, just to show him that he didn't know her as good as he thought and that she wouldn't let his mere presence intimidate her into believing his every word. "Sasuke joined you before he knew of my pregnancy."

"Foolish girl – it's not about the timing." He shook his head, the way a teacher might shake his head at a pupil who had managed to integrate more mistakes into an essay than correct words - a kind of disbelieving display of disappointment. "He didn't just decide to resurrect his clan as he heard of your pregnancy."

"And how should he do so when he might die during the attack?" She asked bitterly and stared at her knees. She didn't like thinking about this whole thing and yet she couldn't possibly keep herself from it, she actually had the impression that the harder she tried to suppress these unpleasant thoughts the more persistently they tried to rise to the surface and they were rather successful about it.

"The answer is in the '_might'_ – personally he does not believe in this, but as a reassurance there was still Karin. However your appearance has rendered her redundant and I think she holds that against you…" He chuckled bleakly, while a shocked and also indignant expression appeared on Sayuri's face.

"Anyway, it would be in his, but also in your own interest, if you would watch your mouth in the future. I don't want to have to remind you of it again and I am sure that you wouldn't want that either." His voice had dropped lower, so it had become impossible to miss the warning in his words; his roundabout way of saying: 'if you won't shut up I'll make you', and the second the last syllable left his lips, it seemed like he was sucked into a maelstrom in the middle of the air and he just vanished in a swirl of colours, whereas his words would keep lingering in the room even long after the disappearance of their speaker, repeated over and over again by an overwrought mind, overwhelmed by the choice it had to make.

…

…


	33. Obstacles part 1

**33.**** Obstacles part 1**

It was early in the morning. Really early – at least by Shikamaru's standards. Other people might be of a different opinion, like those who already had their lunch or were long past it, for example.

At the moment his daily life really sucked. It felt like he was entirely alone in the village – all his peers were out somewhere; doing dangerous missions or taking holidays or whatever, and now he had to substitute for them. He was responsible to carry out all the accruing tasks, a multitude of tasks.

It was his duty to take care of decoding the message Jiraiya left before his death, which meant he was spending seventy percent of his day in Konoha's Cryptology Squad. Apart from that he was supposed to run to Tsunade every time they had even made the slightest discovery or he had to go there to inform her they still hadn't gotten any farther yet. Then he also had to run through the whole village, trying to find someone who could help them decode the message, someone who might be familiar with the key Jiraiya used, but even their best code-breakers weren't able to handle this task.

It was so bothersome. Especially because he was also held responsible for the lack of progress they made and always ended up as the outlet for Tsunade's frustration. He could think of so many things, he would much rather do than this, but it's not like it was up to him to decide about the way he spent his time.

And here again he was on one of his three daily errands to the Hokage tower, with the very same news as the days before, which made the whole effort seem like even more of a waste of his time than it would do in other circumstances. However this time he planned on telling her so. She'd bite his head off anyway, so he might as well give her a reason to do so.

It wasn't exactly a secret how little she liked being criticised, countered or anything in that direction – her temper just didn't take objections. But it's not like she was the only one… That must have something to do with the presence of two X-Chromosomes – that was his theory anyway, and there had to be some truth to it… Men weren't this persistent on being right, so maybe the Y-Chromosome was some kind of pacifier that equipped men with the knowledge of when it was better to shut up and crawl. A life-saviour in any case.

Who knew just how many deaths he would have died already, if he had always said whatever ran trough his mind. His mother would have made sure that he wouldn't have reached his tenth birthday and she was just one of a frighteningly huge number of representatives of the female gender. Dangers were practically lurking everywhere – just good that he could at least to some extent rely on his genes to keep him out of trouble. He had mastered the way of giving insincere nods, of turning mute as a stone when the situation required it, of saying yes when it was expected and no when it was wanted; you could sum it up as feigning interest, since attention was what they wanted the most – essential wisdom his father taught him.

As a kid, he had thought his father was some kind of coward. Here he had all these people talking about the father being the king of the castle, the head of the family and all that stuff and then he came home and saw that his mother was clearly wearing the pants in their marriage. He had been a little disappointed with the role he played at home – never with his achievements though, since he knew that his father was a great ninja, but now that he was older and wiser himself, he knew that his father has never been a coward – he was just clever.

Discussing with a woman is pointless, since there is no way you can win anyway, even when you are right with every single argument you bring up. Once they realize that reason doesn't get them anywhere, they dig their heels in all the more and turn to emotional and in most cases irrational approaches, accompanied by a raise in volume, a higher pitch and a scary contortion of features – and then try to disagree. Good luck… And that was exactly what he was in for right now.

He had already reached his destination and was now walking through the green-carpeted corridor, which led to Tsunade's office – the lion's den – and he would step right into it and that even half an hour too late. Terrific.

He knocked quietly, tentatively, not wanting to rouse the probably already upset being on the other side of the wood. Why was he late anyway? He could have sworn he had left on time. Maybe he shouldn't have taken a break, but the bench had looked so inviting. Besides he had needed some time to mentally prepare himself and draw up his shields and apparently he had drawn out the calm before the storm too long, but how should he have known beforehand that a single closing and opening of lids would take him nearly thirty minutes?

Now he stood here, waiting to be called inside, when that was the last thing he wanted and then it didn't happen. He knocked again, but still no reaction and he wondered if Tsunade was going on a rampage through the village, searching for him so she could nail him by his ears to her wall, just to make sure he would listen to her the next time she gave him an order.

"What a drag…" He sighed and summoned all his courage to overcome the reluctance, which kept him from stepping into her office, and he couldn't deny that there was a queasy feeling in his stomach as he did so. He couldn't even decide if he wanted to see Tsunade in her office or not. Actually he was quite fond of his ears…

"Oh no…" He moaned, as he finally entered the room and saw Tsunade sit there in her chair with her arms and her head resting on her desk and the light snoring he perceived left no doubt that she was sleeping.

"Tsunade-sama?" The Nara asked hesitantly and stepped towards the snoring woman, who was dead to the world for the time being. Damn, if he had to dig his own grave anyway, than he would at least do it properly.

"Tsunade-sama!" He called out in a louder voice and then right into her ear, while he began shaking her by the shoulder, until a choking grunt on her part told him that he had successfully absolved the first part of his kamikaze mission. Now came the part that would make it deserve its name…

"Huh?" She shot up and wiped her sleeve over her mouth, but it didn't help to wipe off the dried trail of drool that went from the corner of her mouth down to her chin and he wondered if he should tell her about it and thought what his father would do, which made it pretty easy. He would probably give him a blow to the head, for actually being so stupid to take telling her into consideration.

"I came to tell you that we still haven't made any progress."

"And you wake me for that?" Tsunade asked in a high, disbelieving tone – apparently Shikamaru wasn't the only one who thought it was far too early still.

"You told me to do so." The Nara shrugged and tried to hide his slight intimidation about the way the blonde glared at him. "And there is another thing." He added, buying some time before the blonde would go off like a New Year rocket, scattering sparks of crimson, apricot, black and olive all across her walls and ceiling.

"Let's have it!" The Godaime said impatiently and kept eyeing the dark-haired man like a lynx.

"We have gone through all the logarithms known to be used by Konoha, but none of them fits to the code Jiraiya left behind." Shikamaru sighed, remembering the ordeal of going through every single key they had a record of – and there were whole bookshelves full of folders containing them – and trying to apply them to the message. Just the thing for him. On average his eyes had fallen shut after the first five or six attempts and at some point the numbers and symbols had just swirled through his head, in a hypnotising manner and he couldn't even get them to stop, once he had gotten home and was actually supposed to shut his mind off from everything related to work. Fat chance.

"It is impossible for us to decode the message-"

"It can't be impossible!" Tsunade interrupted him brusquely, with a scary look on her face. "Do you really think that Jiraiya would leave a message that makes no sense?"

"You didn't let me finish." Shikamaru tried to calm her and from the way she raised her eyebrows, he was sure that she would at least listen to him now. "It's impossible for us to decode the message, because it was never meant for us."

"Huh?" Tsunade's golden brown eyes widened slightly, but the logic of what Shikamaru has said was hard to refute.

"Of course!" She pounded her fist into her open palm and the Nara couldn't help but to flinch back a little, because of this indication of violence. "Why didn't we think of this earlier? But who could it be?"

The second that question left her lips, she already knew the answer and nodded to herself before the two of them said the name simultaneously: "Naruto."

"Yes." Shikamaru nodded. "They travelled together for three years, so we can assume that they might have created their own code-system, or that the symbols are at least related to something they experienced together." He couldn't really get himself to believe that Naruto had actually taken part in the creation of something as complex as an encoding technique – especially one whose result was impossible to unravel by an entire decryption squad…

"I see… Now that's a problem…" Tsunade scrunched her nose and stared at her desk vacantly.

Naruto was still out somewhere, chasing after Sasuke and they had no contact with him. And then his mission was important, but not as important as this here, so there was just one way to deal wit this. "We need to call him back."

"Yes." Shikamaru nodded. "Did the team you sent to search them come back already?"

"No. They were in no hurry, so I expect them to be back tomorrow around noon. Why?" She regarded the Nara with a frown on her face, until the answer dawned on her. "Oh, I see. You want me to send them on their original mission after all."

"Better now than after they have come here. Then they'd have to go the same way twice." Shikamaru shrugged and watched the Godaime nod thoughtfully. "Is Katsuyu-sama still with them?"

"Yes." Tsunade nodded and focused her eyes on the Chunin again. "And the team is perfect for the mission. Not only will they definitely find them, but they should also have a chance of convincing Naruto to refrain from searching Sasuke for the time being and get him back here. And it won't be strangers who will tell him about… about Jiraiya's death." Tsunade said with obvious difficulties.

The situation was still too fresh, she still hadn't gotten used to the fact that she would never again have a worthy drinking mate; would never again have the chance to turn him down, when he tried out one of his new, cheesy pick-up lines. All that was left were the memories of an eccentric, perverted old man and also the funniest, most courageous and best friend she has ever had.

"I will tell them about it immediately." She said in a musing tone and watched how the Nara inclined his head slightly and turned around to leave.

"And Shikamaru?" She called him back and couldn't help but to grin sardonically about the weary sigh he heaved, as he already expected to be ordered around again.

"Take the rest of the week off, you really deserve it." She smiled blandly and watched a disbelieving expression flit across the Nara's face.

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama." He bowed his head again and walked out, planning to lie down on the first stretch of grass he came across and enjoy the sunny day, before his work would catch up with him again.

…

…

She has never been much of a sociable person – at least compared to others – and still she would have never thought that the mere lack of company could affect her as much as it did. She was all alone here, kept in semi-isolation for nearly two weeks now, but in the last two, maybe even three days – ever since Madara had come here to visit her – the _semi_ must have been rescinded and she hadn't seen a living human being in a perceived eternity.

The loneliness was beginning to overwhelm her. She could feel it like it was a part of her, a certain hollowness, where it shouldn't be, but then she couldn't even tell where it was, which made it all the worse. It could be located in a single brain cell or hidden underneath a heart valve, but it could just as well have spread right under her skin, scooped out her body like a pumpkin on Halloween and her insides resembled that of a dead tree now. That's how she felt anyway. She had resigned herself to that emptiness, because there was nothing else to do.

She had spent the last day going crazy here. Every time she had only heard a cracking or rustling or had at least imagined so, she had already stood at the door, pressing her ear so hard against it that she had ended up with splinters in the side of her face, but no one ever came. Still she's had something to do then: pulling out the splinters with nothing but her fingernails and that dirty, cracked mirror, she could hardly bear looking into, because she barely recognized the person looking back at her. She had enough things to worry about at the moment, so she couldn't need an identity crisis to crown it all.

All this time, she had waited for Sasuke to come, had been sure he would come, but he hadn't. Actually she had thought that things between them had taken a slight turn for the better. He had apologized to her, in his own weird, barely comprehensible way, or at least she thought so, or well, actually not. He had never said he was sorry, on the contrary, but he had implied that she should give him another chance; had said he would regret it if she didn't – that's not much of an apology, but it was something, and now it was left to her – for a change she could decide what she would make of it. And yet could not, because even if she should know what to do, how was she supposed to tell him, when he wasn't there?

Didn't that tell her something about how serious he was about the whole thing? He had said he wouldn't hurt her again, but was his way of doing so by never seeing her again, because that would kind of not work… She badly needed to see him. Really badly and not only because she was lonely and because she was sure that the walls were creeping closer with every further hour she spent in here – she needed to see him because of Madara.

She had thought a lot about everything he said and then his whole appearance in general, about the apparent reason for his visit and she had come to following conclusion: he saw her as a threat. She must have had some influence on Sasuke after all and that's why he had come here, to scare her into keeping her mouth shut and being a civil, supportive partner for Sasuke, the perfect housewife – silent, submissive, obedient, loyal, fertile at best and not having an own opinion in any case. But she wouldn't be that for him. She wouldn't support him; not now that the Akatsuki had made her sure that all her pleas didn't fall on deaf ears.

And then he had (indirectly) asked her to come back to him, so maybe he really did have feelings for her still; from what he had said he had never lost them, but she still couldn't get herself to believe him. He had lied to her before and not just a little white lie, but a big, fat, blatant untruth, so who told her that he was actually serious about this whole I-want-you-back talk? It's just so much easier to destroy trust than to build it…

She was almost convinced that he didn't want her for the person she was, not to be in a relationship with her again, or if at all than merely superficially – he wanted her to be there for the baby. That's what he had said. She was the mother and he expected her to play that role, and now how much easier would it be for him, if he wouldn't have to lock her up the entire time and fear she'd run away whenever there was a chance to? That was her opinion about him, so how could she even think of being with a person she thought of so poorly?

Easy. These thoughts only sprang up in her seclusion, once he was with her, her line of thoughts adopted a completely different course and she just wasn't strong enough to keep her heart from taking over and her heart was just stupid. That brainless thing never heard about logic or reason and after all the pain it had endured, you should think it had learned its lesson, but way off the mark. It still yearned for the culprit, that naïve thing. Maybe it was good after all that he had apparently forgotten about her.

It probably would be okay, if that wouldn't leave her entirely alone. She had turned Suigetsu down, so he wouldn't come anymore and apparently they had come to the conclusion that she was doing quite well, so they no longer sent Karin here to examine her and that was it – she could pretty well go without seeing that Akatsuki again…

Especially today. She was weak. After all the efforts she had invested the day before in straying through her cell, always after even the faintest sound she heard, always hoping he would come, telling herself she shouldn't hope so, but hoping anyway. She had done her best to extinguish the still glowing embers of hope, but it had seemed like she had just stoked them all the more and with every further second of loneliness, second in which she had been left here alone by him, abandoned, she had yearned to see his face, hear his voice, feel his touch – all the things she forbad herself to want, which obviously made her want them all the more.

However not today. It's a thing about giving up. Nothing seems to matter any longer. No earthly things anyway. When yesterday she had still been overcome by claustrophobia, had really thought that whenever she only closed her eyes a little, the walls would creep closer to her, so she had barely dared to blink, not to mention sleeping, but today…

Today she wouldn't even care if every single brick in this room would crash down on her and bury her alive. She wondered if she'd even notice so. She no longer bothered to fight fatigue, on the contrary, she just lay there in her bed with her eyes neither open nor closed, caught in an intermediary state between consciousness and blessed sleep. A place where nothing mattered.

That was another thing about giving up; somehow time didn't move at a fixed pace any more. You couldn't even say if it went faster or slower, because like everything else it didn't matter. You just didn't care.

She was sure she was lying here since hours now. Had seen at the edge of her vision, through that turbid frosted glass that was overlapping her pupils, how the door had opened and closed briefly from time to time, as she was brought her food.

Yesterday she had jumped every time that happened, but had always been too late, which had resulted in quite some anger fits – at least by her standards – others would probably just call it mild cursing, but anyway, today she barely noticed so.

She hadn't even eaten anything, couldn't establish a communication between her brain and her stomach, so she didn't even know if she was hungry at all. She must have drifted into some sort of catatonic state, where all physical needs were dispensable, not even worth noticing.

In a way she had come to terms with her situation. It was impossible for her to change anything about her imprisonment. She couldn't get out of here by herself; that much was certain, but then the week Sasuke had talked about was almost over, so maybe Naruto and the others would find her soon. Putting her trust in them was all she could do at the moment, but then she was no longer sure if it was really good if they came here.

Sasuke wouldn't let her get away, not as long as she was having his baby and even afterwards it seemed rather unlikely, so maybe it would be better if they didn't find her. She didn't want them to fight against each other; they were all too strong for their own good, so it would definitely end up bad… And she wanted neither of them to get hurt and then especially not because of her, so she would have to reconcile herself to her fate and find a way to assuage the loneliness.

She couldn't say she was particularly successful about it. If her thoughts had a colour than it would be blue. A monotonous steel blue, like the sky in winter. Actually it was rather grey, but then grey was merely a mixture of black and white and they weren't considered as colours, so she stuck with blue. It would start snowing soon. Snowing in her head. It was cold enough at any rate and the clouds gathering in her cerebral sky were already heavy with the icy flakes, ready to burst into a full-blown blizzard. A flurry of feathery white would deprive her of the remaining bit of colour, the scanty blue, which possessed a negative connotation in any case and yet it was all she had.

She wondered where the room had gone to. Her eyes were open and still she couldn't see it, which left her with a weird feeling.

Like she was here, but she wasn't.

Like she had abandoned all hope, but she hadn't.

Like it would matter, but it didn't.

Like there was any chance she could wake up, but she couldn't.

Her eyes fell shut at length, weighed down by the masses of snow that had finally turned her head into a desolate, achromatic field. Withdrew further into the torrent of white noise, surrendered her vision to the TV-like flickering that was torturing her mind's eye. Not long now and she would be sepulchred under a stifling blanket of snow, burrowed between the endless drifts, but then there was a sound.

A closing door.

Footsteps.

Close now, coming closer still.

She wanted to move. Needed to move, but she couldn't. She was too cold to summon the strength to free herself out of her white grave.

The steps came to a halt.

Her own name drifted through a breach in the oppressive clouds, but was drowned out by the sounds of static, before she even had a chance to recognize the voice.

A long, pregnant pause followed and she was still frozen, literally. Anxiety began spreading. She was too lost in her own mind to find her way back out and now there were steps again, but she couldn't even tell if they were approaching or leaving.

The first time in 50+ hours that someone came here, that she wasn't all alone and she couldn't even get herself to move or to say something to make that person stay – anything to make sure she wouldn't end up all alone again.

She tried to will herself out of this white world, will herself back into reality, but she didn't even know how to go on about it, which complicated the whole matter drastically.

Then she got some aid. She was gently picked out of her snow coffin and suddenly felt a hint of warmth. An exterior warmth, driving out the coldness that had taken over her entire being. She reached out towards its very source, felt the contact melt the ice, slowly bringing her back to life.

"Sayuri?"

She heard her name again, louder and not drowned out by the blizzard this time, but she couldn't reply yet. She didn't think she could. She needed more of that warmth, wanted to be engulfed by it, hoped it would be able to thaw the internal winter that had her in its clutches, but it was just way too little and then only at her shoulders, whereas the rest of her was still frozen.

"I'm cold." She heard herself stammer, but the voice was much too thin to pass as her own. Somehow her thoughts must have managed to find a way out of her mouth and were at once responded to. A few seconds later she found herself embraced by warmth, now that the numbness was beginning to subside, she was sure she was being embraced by someone. But who?

Her brain was still pretty much on ice, so it really did take her quite some time to figure out the obvious. Of all the people that were here, who would bother to sit here with her and fulfil the function of the sun for her? The sun she hadn't seen in such an endlessly long time… Obvious enough, but on top of that, there was just one person who could make her feel this way…

She wanted to open her eyes, just to make sure that her theory was correct, but they wouldn't do her the favour, or maybe they were open and she was just snow-blind. She gave up on her attempts for the time being and merely concentrated on the source of the heat and the minuscule replica that was growing inside her and that without any effort on her part.

A soft kiss fell on the top of her head, a different kind of warmth, even more imbuing than before. She felt like Briar Rose, redeemed of her enchanted sleep with a kiss. Her vision cleared and she saw now that she was held by two strong arms and she could only see so little, because her face was resting against his shoulder. She brushed one of her hands up his chest and lifted her head to look at him; look into Sasuke's deep black eyes that met hers at once, like he had waited for her to find her way back into reality – the place where she spent far too little time in his opinion anyway. Maybe he was right.

"Hey stranger…" She whispered softly and used all her strength to summon a tiny smile on her lips, before she let her head fall back against his shoulder, snuggling her face into the side of his neck. She could feel his pulse throb there right under her cheek, the warmth of his skin bringing a slightly more vivid shade into her pallid face.

"You woke up after all." Sasuke said in a soft voice and moved his hands up to her shoulders, pushing her away from him, so he could peer into her face.

She merely nodded in response, unhappy about the way he exposed her to the icy temperatures of this room, especially now that she had only just begun to take pleasure in the comfort of his embrace. She had tasted blood now and the imposed distance seemed like torture. He was torturing her, but then how did the concerned look in his eyes go with that?

"You're shaking." He remarked and softly brushed his forefinger over her smooth, porcelain cheek.

"I'm freezing." She whispered and looked down at her hands. Her skin was so thin, it seemed almost translucent and she could see the purplish blood vessels underneath it and her nails had turned blue as well.

He followed her gaze and without being asked to took her hands into his own and gathered her up into his arms, back to where she felt she should be anyway, at least for now. She needed that abundance of closeness, of contact, to make up for the terrible loneliness. And it felt so good. In this second it seemed like nothing ever happened, his betrayal, his behaviour, everything seemed so distant and insignificant, as if it was only a remnant of a dream and she had finally woken up, but that wasn't true and she knew it.

"You didn't eat anything." He sighed eventually, destroying the moment of blessed ignorance far too soon. She had been so grateful for his silence that she didn't want to talk and yet she did, although it meant sacrificing her tiny bubble of comfort for the sharp-edged reality.

"You've got to, got to let me out of here." She had moved back to look into his face, as she confronted him with her desperate pleas. "I need fresh air and light and… and no walls around me and I need to see the sun…" She reached for his hand again and raised it to her lips, while never taking her eyes off his.

"I'll go crazy in here. You have to let me out." She nodded, hoping he would do so too, but he just looked as stoic as ever, thoughtful maybe, but definitely not convinced. "Even if I wanted to run away, I couldn't, right? So please. Please." She kissed his hand and buried her face in it.

She didn't like to beg like this, but this wasn't the time for false pride. She wasn't in the position to choose the kind of role she liked to play, couldn't even choose to pursue the image she had of herself; she had to adapt to the situation and if that included the humiliation of begging, then that's that. What did she care about dignity when this was about her happiness?

"Hn." He nodded finally, still seeming sceptical, but he had agreed and that's all she needed. He rose to his feet, like there wasn't her whole weight spread across his lap and lifted her up along with him, before he carefully set her to her feet, but kept an arm around her back to steady her in case she should need it and from how shaky her legs still were, she definitely did.

"It's okay." She told him nevertheless and reached for an assuring smile. For whatever reason she did that… Ten seconds ago she had wanted to be close to him more than anything, needed the contact to another person, but now she was desperate to show him that she was more than just a pathetic, needy, whimpering being. Wanted to set her own self-image straight and not only for her…

He responded with one of his silent nods and took his arm away, but stayed where he was, watching her attentively, like he expected her to fall over any second, but she was determined not to do anything to stir his protective instincts. A bit late now and actually it was a good thing that he did have them and also showed them, wasn't it? Still she pulled herself together and after he had apparently finished his scrutiny, he turned towards the door and held it open for her and she didn't waste any time to leave her malign, claustrophobic prison behind, secretly wishing she would leave it for good.

She came to a stop in the middle of the dreary corridor and turned around, watching how Sasuke pulled the door shut behind him, before he met her eyes briefly and went to the right and then turned into one of the side corridors on the left side – the completely opposite direction of where she had gone to during her escape attempt.

Were there more than just one way out or had she maybe not been anywhere near the exit? She hadn't gotten far enough to find out. Or what if he didn't lead her outside, but only to a balcony or to the roof? A window? There she'd have fresh air, sunlight, space – all the things she had asked for and theoretically it could be turned into an escape route, too. Like there was any chance she could get away with Sasuke on her heels.

She walked slowly. After she hadn't used her legs in such a long time, they first needed to get reused to moving and carrying her weight and then she was busy with memorizing the path they walked, all features of the rooms and corridors they passed through; length, width, number of doors, pillars, cracks in the ground – everything, just in case he was leading her outside after all. She was sure he was aware of the way she studied her surroundings. It shouldn't surprise him, considering that he was keeping her locked in here and since he didn't do anything about it, she was probably right.

They walked for quite a long time without ever saying a word, until they eventually came into a simple, tunnel-like corridor, without any doors or branches or anything and there was a slight rise in the ground, which was covered with a lot of sand now and it was clearly leading upwards, so she had apparently been right about this building being underground. It was pretty long and it took some time until there was finally a pale white light that marked the end of the tunnel and then in the blink of an eye, they were already outside.

It was dark and there was still something above them, almost like a canopy that kept her from seeing the sky, but still she was sure it was night, which meant it hadn't merely been 50+ hours she had been all alone, but more likely something between 60 and 70. She had spent the entire day with lying around, so no wonder her legs felt so unsteady still, but it was getting better. A little.

She paused briefly and closed her eyes, before she inhaled as much of the fresh, non-mouldy air as her lungs could take. There was a bit of a salty taste in the air, really faint, but she still made it out at once. Were they close to the sea? The whole ground was covered with sand, but not that typical, white beach sand, but rather a darker, loamy one. But the salinity of the air was really distinct; she could feel it on her skin with every breeze of the cool, but not cold wind that caressed her face and played with her hair, wafting every bit of winter out of her mind, as it filled her with memories of summer.

"Do you just want to stand there?"

She opened her eyes again and looked at the dark-haired man, who stood a couple of metres in front of her, with both his arms hanging loosely at his sides and his eyes clearly focused on her, sizing her up. Instead of responding she just took another deep breath, wondering if there was something special about the air, since it filled her tired limbs with new energy as it streamed into her lungs and then she closed up to him, her gaze fixed on the ground, at the clear border between the shadows and the slightly lit yard.

She just walked past him, straight towards the pale shade of light, her eyes at once drawn to the source of it, the almost full moon, already high in the middle of the deep black silk. She would have liked to see the sun, but the moon was almost just as good, the way it bathed the area in a silver glow. Probably even prettier, but still it wasn't enough light to make up for what she had missed in the last days; wasn't warm enough to cover her needs, although out here it was much warmer than in her room and that even though it was night.

She didn't even know what to do with her newly acquired, but still restricted freedom. She could just stand here and breathe in the fresh and clean air forever, or she could do something with the new energy that was streaming through her system. Running away was out of the question, but then running wasn't that much of a bad idea. She would definitely benefit from some exercise and should really use the chance she still had more than 25 square metres of space for herself.

After taking another deep breath, she turned around again, her eyes at once searching Sasuke, who hadn't abandoned the shadows yet and although he was just three or four steps away from him, she couldn't make out anything but his silhouette.

"Can we walk a bit?" She asked, suddenly anxious that he would want to get her back inside already.

"Hn." She saw him nod, before he stepped into the light as well and led the way to the side. She followed him, while thoroughly scanning their surroundings, to figure out where they were. They had just come out of an underground part of the construction, but there were more than enough upper levels. They were surrounded by a high mountain chain, bounding the area like a courtyard, but the inward facing sides of the mountains seemed too flat to be natural and then there were numerous black squares – windows – embedded in it.

Awesome – and she was given a cellar room, how nice of them…

Then something else struck her eye. A huge, really huge skeleton-thing was right in front of them. In a way she had seen it right away, but it was just now that they were a bit farther away from it that she recognized what it was. This fitted. This had to be the headquarters of Akatsuki, so why not make them look creepy and deterrent from the outside already – so everyone knew right away what they were letting themselves in for. But still, this had to be some kind of dinosaur or something and unlike what she had thought, this place didn't exactly seem well-hidden. It was so huge, it shouldn't be hard to find it, so why had Sasuke been so sure, they would need a week to find them?

"Where are we?" She asked quietly and looked around as Sasuke led her to a broad staircase, with wide, flat steps, winding up a separate mountain, without any windows or flattened sides, but once they had almost turned the first round, she could see that they were surrounded by a forest – no sign of the ocean.

"This is Madara's headquarter." He replied brusquely and just kept on walking, without any apparent interest in watching his surroundings.

"But where is this place?" She rolled her eyes, sure that he had deliberately not told her what she had wanted to hear and now he didn't say anything at all, which only confirmed her theory.

They carried on walking in silence, he in front and her trotting after him like a faithful puppy. The first fifteen minutes passed in a flash, in spite of the lack of conversation and the palpable coldness Sasuke exuded. It was weird. As he had been there in her room, he had been her source of heat, the one who had kept her from freezing to death and now she was getting chills when she merely looked at him.

He didn't seem to enjoy this little walk even nearly as much as she did, probably still expected her to go for another escape attempt any second now and then she was walking behind him even – yet more reason to be wary. But she couldn't possibly keep up with him, especially not now…

They hadn't exactly walked much; they had taken the steps up one hill and were now on their way down another one and yet it was actually exhausting. She had probably now gotten more movement than in the whole past week and especially walking upstairs has left her legs aching and she was slowly running out of breath - she wondered where her stamina and her muscles had gone to…

Still she did her best in matching his pace and yet she kept falling behind, like he picked up speed whenever she came closer to him, but it didn't really look like that – she was just awfully slow. Roughly three or four metres separated them now, and they were no longer walking stairs, but a normal, though rising and therefore arduous path. Then there was another bent, he took it and vanished out of her sight.

Sayuri came to a stop and looked with a sceptical face at the last bit of the gravel path, which she could see from where she stood, wondering if he would even notice that she wasn't behind him anymore. He hadn't ever turned around to her, or commented on her being too slow, like he had been all alone.

This was too petty a chance to even try running away, especially considering her condition and he probably knew that. Still it kind of bugged her that he had apparently so little trust in her abilities that he didn't even think it necessary to keep a close eye on her. He was right about his assessment, but still he could at least pretend so… or he could talk to her or something…

It was really confusing with him. In one moment he kissed her and asked her to come back to him and all these things and then only moments later, he was entirely cold and didn't even feel the need to pay any attention to her. Like a milder form of how he had been before they broke up. But he wouldn't hurt her again. Right…

A sulky look appeared on her face and she was really tempted to try her luck. After all he still hadn't come back or anything, so he probably hadn't noticed her absence yet and it's not like she had anything better to do, except for maybe getting her breathing back to a normal level. However if she should really try running away, she might lose every future privilege of ever going out again or maybe moving up to one of these upper, windowed rooms. She didn't even take into account that she might be successful with her escape and yet her gaze was drawn to the right, the direction they had come from.

A speck of colour attracted her attention, so she moved a few steps back to see what it was, when her path was suddenly blocked by Sasuke.

She twitched in shock and stared at him with widened eyes, too stunned still by his sudden appearance to press out a single word.

"Didn't you want to walk?" He asked in a harsh tone and glowered at her and she was sure now that she knew what his whole behaviour has been about.

"You tested me. Didn't you?" She raised an eyebrow, but he would neither give her a verbal nor a nonverbal response.

"Hmpf." She gave an annoyed sound and shook her head incredulously, before she bowed down and picked up the blue cornflower that had caught her eye. She held it up pointedly and dropped her hand again, feeling too upset at the moment, to take any pleasure in her finding. "We can walk now."

Instead of responding or starting to move, he merely regarded her for quite some time with a frown on his face, which made her somewhat uneasy, since she wasn't so sure what this was all about.

"You're exhausted." He remarked eventually and caused her to shake her head. The way he said that you could almost think it would surprise him, like he hadn't heard her pant there like a locomotive.

"Uh-wow. Did you figure that out all by yourself?" She asked in a snappish tone and at once felt bad for it, especially as she saw the way he narrowed his eyes. He sure didn't like being talked to this way…

"I'm sorry." She sighed, still sure that she should rather be nice to him if she should ever want to see the sun again. "You were walking so fast and I had problems keeping up with you."

"You should have said something then." He lectured her and watched how she nodded with a lowered had. "C'mon, we're almost back." He sighed and commenced walking again, but this time he placed a hand at the small of her back and pushed her with him, making sure she wouldn't fall behind this time.

As they had started walking his hand had just rested there on her back, pretty much in a neutral way, merely with the intention of pushing her, but as they reached that bone-construction at the entrance again, it had moved over to her hip, his arm draped around her back, holding her close to his body, while her own arms were now wrapped around his waist, her face nestled against his chest. She could fall asleep right there. She wondered how she had actually managed to keep her legs moving in all the time. However the prospect of having to go back into that shabby hole brought some life back into her tired limbs.

She came to a stop, or at least meant to do so, but since he just carried on walking that didn't really work, so she tried to push herself away from him and get his attention this way and he really did pause and looked down at her expectantly.

"Can we… stay out here a little longer? Just sit down here or something…" She shrugged and looked around and the next second Sasuke had already scooped her up and she was in the air. She squeezed her eyes shut reflexively and curled her fingers around the fabric of his shirt, afraid of falling, but barely a second later she was already sitting on something cold and hard and felt how Sasuke loosened her fingers from his clothes.

"Wha-" She opened her eyes again and saw that she was now sitting next to Sasuke on top of the huge skeleton, right on its spine. She could imagine a nicer spot than this, but then it was better than sitting in the sand and from up here they had a really good view of the nighttime sky.

They both lapsed into silence and just stared into the silky black firmament, sequined with a silvery mist. It would really be beautiful at another place, anywhere but here, and in another situation, anytime but now, but she had long lost the freedom to choose. Maybe she could wish upon a star to regain control of her own life. Could wish that everything would end well after all.

She leaned back to relieve her neck of the effort of carrying her head and then lay down entirely, while Sasuke just kept sitting where he was, apparently watching the stars as well. There had to be at least a thousand of them and then that were only the ones she could see from here, so how was she supposed to make out the one wish-granting one?

If she wanted anything to happen, then she would have to do something for it herself, instead of relying on fate or fortune or providence. The situation was too serious to hope for a higher force to set things right and then time was running out slowly but surely, so she couldn't just wait for things to settle themselves. She just had to tell him how she felt, how much she missed him when he wasn't there and most importantly she needed to find out how serious he was about this – about her and their baby. Their family…

"Sasuke?" She whispered, but merely because her voice didn't really work yet, given that she hadn't said anything in quite some time.

"Hn?" He tilted his face into her direction and watched how she raised her upper body slightly, by propping herself up on her elbows.

"Do you really think we-" She broke off as she heard a sound and now sat up entirely, right in time to see something red appear at the beginning of the shadowed tunnel that led down into the centre of the hideout and was quickly moving towards them.

"What is _she_ doing here?" A high and obviously angry voice preceded the entrance of the intruder. For some most pleasant hours, Sayuri had completely forgotten about her and now she was here. Karin: (ex-?) mistress and moment killer.

…

…


	34. Obstacles part 2

**34. Obstacles part 2**

Sayuri's eyes widened at the sight of Sasuke's team-mate and she unconsciously backed away from him, as Karin's jealous behaviour brought back those pictures of them together and she couldn't help but to feel disgusted by them.

Green now. Her thoughts were no longer blue or grey but green. A sickly, pea soup green – she really had to hand it to Karin, for being able to make her feel nauseous, merely by showing up here.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked in a blank voice, and Sayuri could see how it made Karin even angrier, but nevertheless she put on an affected leprechaun smile, after giving her another meaningful blink of her wicked red eyes and then folded her hands in front of her body, completely innocent.

"Oh, there is something important I wanted to show you…" She purred and now that her attention was solely focused on the Uchiha, that weird thing she had done with her mouth turned into a seductive smile and since her face had pretty much recovered from the injuries, it seemed far too effective and then that look she gave him…

She was really attractive at first sight, no doubt about that, but if you looked closer you could tell that her affected behaviour and her attempts at being seductive were only meant to distract from a real shortage of charm. How come he didn't seem to realize that? Or did she only imagine so, because she regarded her rival through the green-glassed spectacles of jealousy? The fact that to her, she had the skin colour of a Martian, and that she was a woman of course, might explain why she didn't feel particularly attracted to Karin.

"I don't have time now." He bluntly turned her down, but she wasn't the kind of person who would just put up with that.

"Well, you know where to find me. Just come to my room. I'll be waiting." Her lips puckered slightly and she gave him an ambiguous wink that didn't really leave much to the imagination. Then her eyes switched to Sayuri's again – a threatening look, telling her to keep her hands off her man or something of that sort, but it was definitely a threat and not really a discreet one.

Once mission: territorial marking was completed, Karin spun around on her heels and tossed her long crimson hair behind her shoulder, before she strutted away with the dignity of a peacock.

Sayuri kept staring at the back of Karin's lavender anorak, until she was out of sight. Then she leaned to the side and got rid of the green, bilious manifestation of her disgust towards the redhead.

Just great. Why couldn't that have happened earlier? She could have puked right on Karin's head and therewith thwarted her plans for the night. And she was pretty sure she knew what her plans were.

There were all these pictures in her head now and not only real ones, although they were bad enough already, but also imaginary ones, which made her want to pour a good load of turpentine into her head just to get rid of them. If that meant losing some brain cells so be it. She could do well with a little less vivid imagination anyway.

"Sayuri?" Sasuke placed a hand on her shoulder and tried to pull her back, but Sayuri shook his hand off and used her shaky fingers to brush her hair behind her ears.

"Don't touch me." She hissed and tried to spit out the last bit of bile that was still in her mouth and tortured her already nauseous self with its sour taste.

"You're such a hypocrite." She shook her head in disbelief and now turned around to him after all. "You're sleeping with her. Again! This is so great. You freak out because I merely told you about my date and you…" She sucked in her bottom lip that seemed weirdly inclined to smile; however not a positive, happy smile but much rather an insane, I-smile-so-I-won't-scream-or-run-amok kind of smile.

"I'm not." He said bluntly and apparently didn't feel the need to add any further explanations.

"Yeah right… How stupid do you think I am?" She snapped at him and would best like to take a thick, black marker and draw some rue into his face.

"It was an option, but there is no need for it anymore."

"I-I don't understand…"

"In case something should happen to me in Konoha it would be the end of my clan, that's what Karin was there for."

"So that's it? You only wanted to get her pregnant, but now that I've come up it isn't necessary any longer?" Her voice had taken on a nearly hysterical edge and still he just looked at her with that blank face and wouldn't even react to her accusation, which was answer enough in itself. This was exactly what Madara had told her, but he had said so many things and she had decided not to believe a single one of them. As it seemed she had been mistaken.

"I can't believe how selfish you are…" She shook her head again and still searched his face for even the slightest trace of the regret he had spoken of before, but just couldn't find anything. "This is just another of your goals. This isn't about me or about the baby… This is just about you and your clan. I was just a means to an end – like a tool – your own personal baby-machine, but it could have been anyone else just as well."

"You're right. It could have been…" He said slowly and regarded her attentively and she was sure he must have noticed how all colour slowly faded from her formerly flushed face. "…but I wanted it to be you."

She needed some time to digest his words, but at least she was a little calmer now, which made thinking a bit easier.

"That isn't good enough." She moistened her lips and gazed to the side, avoiding his eyes. "You should have done something for that then…"

"Like?" He frowned at her and she couldn't believe he actually had to ask.

"How about telling the truth for example? The full, unabridged truth."

"The truth?" His face hardened in an instant and Sayuri couldn't help but to lean back a little. "Truth is, I meant to sleep with her, but we were interrupted… twice…" He narrowed his eyes as he saw how Sayuri opened her mouth, meaning to interrupt him, but his look made her keep quiet. "The first time by Madara, as he told us we've been tracked down. The second time by my conscience. I couldn't stop thinking about you, about your words…" His voice trailed off, his thoughts wandering back to their conversation, right after he had caught her during her escape attempt. "Your turn now. Who was the guy and what did you do?"

"What…? What does it matter?" She grimaced, still somewhat overwhelmed by his confession.

"Answer the question." He said in a low, but commanding voice and still it didn't make her any more inclined to do something he wanted her to do.

"I don't owe you an answer… I-I can't even talk to you now." She turned her face away from him, not bearing to look at him any longer.

He probably said something after that. She was sure he did, but she was too busy with pondering over his chronology to pay much attention to him. The first time they had been interrupted as Danzô's men came and they had found them right after that and that's when he had kidnapped her. From then on he had known about the baby and in case they hadn't meant to do it in the little interval before they had tracked them, it meant, it happened as she had already been with him. He had already known that his clan wasn't in any immediate danger of being eradicated and yet he had gone to her. She could literally see Karin, coming into her room the other day in this overly good-mood and then the way she had almost been nice to her. Now she knew what that has been about and then he actually had the nerve to tell her he didn't plan to hurt her.

In all this time she had somehow known this had happened and yet she had told herself she was wrong, had tried to find things that spoke against it. Now that was impossible. He hadn't done it – _they_ hadn't done it – but he had meant to, the intention had been there, so that was pretty much the same, wasn't it?

Or was it?

She called him a hypocrite but maybe she was one herself. She hadn't slept with Yashamaru and hadn't really wanted to do so and yet, at times, she had caught herself thinking about it, wondering what it would be like. And Sasuke hadn't done it either, although he had been much closer to it than she had, but in the end nothing happened and they hadn't even been a couple – still weren't one, so he didn't owe her any loyalty, but the same counted for her then too, so he had no right to act jealous either.

"Sayuri." Sasuke's voice finally seeped through to her, probably because the way he closed his hand around her arm and pulled her around to him supported it to some extent. Still she didn't want to talk to him and punish him with silence the way he always did. After all what was worse than a lack of response? But she just couldn't. Although she had, as pointed out already, neither right nor reason to be jealous, she couldn't help feeling that way.

"You're a liar." She hissed bitterly and snatched his hand away, before she gave in to all the rage and jealousy and hurt that was squirming there in her stomach. "You lied when you told me nothing was wrong. You lied when you told me you regretted what you did. You lied when you said you wouldn't hurt me again. You lied about your motives of sleeping with Karin. You lie and lie and lie… You probably also lied about that interrupted stuff. Your _conscience_ – like you even had one! Like you ever cared about anyone-"

"I don't have time for this." He interrupted her sharply and it took only one look of his cold black eyes to make her feel like she was being smothered under the weight of his anger and she couldn't possibly say anything now, meeting his eyes was hard enough, but she managed. "It seems like you've had enough fresh air."

It wasn't exactly hard to figure out the meaning of his words; he rather pushed her off again, than having to listen to her opinion about him.

"Hmpf." She snorted sulkily and pushed herself off the giant vertebrae she was sitting on and waited for her feet to reach the ground, but they didn't. Instead they dangled there in the air, apparently defying the rules of gravity.

"I'm only pregnant and not invalid!" She groused and wriggled out of Sasuke's arms. "Seriously, last week you dragged me through this whole building and now you won't even let me jump here?"

"I was careful." He shrugged, before he gave her upper arm a light push. "Move."

"Tze." She curled her lips and shook her head, before she headed back into the darkness, back to the very place she had hoped to never see again. The mere thought of being locked back in there in that cold, depressing room, of being all alone again, made her want to turn around and run back out again, without even caring if he caught her or not, but she was too busy with sticking her nose high into the air and marching off with what little bit of dignity she still had left, to do anything that might be of help to her.

They walked in complete silence and since she had memorized the way, Sayuri didn't need to walk behind him like before, or turn around to him to ask where to go to or worse even have him push her again. However while she was busy feigning strength and indifference on the outside, she was in the process of breaking on the inside.

Everything was going all wrong. He was saying all the wrong things and then she was saying all the wrong things and in the end it didn't even matter, since they could only say the wrong things, because they had done the wrong things.

So many wrongs…

You should think that they would compensate one another, but they didn't. And in spite of that they were still here together, because there was this tiny, not even born yet mixture of the two of them that was holding the threads of their futures together. But was a baby reason enough to stay together? Would it outweigh the sheer overwhelming mass of wrongs? And would she even want that? What good did it do her to be in a relationship with a person that actually didn't want her? A person she didn't want either …?

Engrossed in all this thinking, the time passed in a flash and then they already stood in front of her door. All the feigned haughtiness vanished in an instant and she just stood there, rooted to the spot, while Sasuke pushed the door open for her. He slowly turned around to her, as she didn't move inside and regarded her with a raised eyebrow and that did it.

Although her feet felt like they were sticking in a block of concrete, she stepped inside and was too busy with encouraging herself to keep moving to even wonder why Sasuke walked her all the way to her bed.

Once she was sitting, she did though and looked with a puzzled face at the dark-haired man, who was standing right in front of her, mutely watching her with that ever so blank face and yet his eyes betrayed him this time. She could see that he was anything but calm.

He parted his lips slightly, planning to say something and Sayuri waited with held breath for whatever it would be, still hoping for something positive. She doubted she would ever learn her lesson… In the end he didn't say anything. His mouth closed again and after taking a slightly deeper breath, he turned around, preparing to leave her all alone again.

"Wait." Sayuri reached for his hand to hold him back and as it seemed she was successful. He came to a stop and tilted his head to the side, so he could look at her over his shoulder, but the moment their eyes met, Sayuri lowered her gaze, ashamed of her own weakness and yet she couldn't possibly stop herself.

"Please don't go to her… Stay with me…" She whispered desperately and sucked in her bottom lip, since it had started quivering. She was still mad at him because of all the things he has said and done and yet she just couldn't bear the thought of him going to Karin.

She had closed both her hands around his hand, but he used his fingers to tap against her chin, making her look at him again. She held his gaze for a long moment, until he finally relieved her by averting his eyes and roaming them across the room and from the look on his face he didn't particularly like what he was seeing.

"C'mon." He sighed wearily and pulled her to her feet, leading her right out of the room again. She kept holding his hand, as he led her through corridor after corridor and eventually up a staircase into one of the upper floors, where they walked through a long hallway, until he came to a stop in front of a door and guided her inside then.

It was an empty bedroom. There was a bed at the wall right opposite the door. An actual bed with a real mattress and a slatted frame and there was a tiny window right above it. One of the black squares she had seen. One of the VIP-rooms.

She took a few hesitant steps inside and looked around. There was a rectangular wooden table to her left, a pretty small one and there was a worn, brown armchair beside it, with a familiar backpack on top of it. To her right there was a wooden room divider, similar to those you often saw in restaurants and it didn't reach up to the roof, but still it obstructed her view of what was behind it.

"Wait here." Sasuke said in a calm tone and was just about to turn around, when Sayuri held him back again.

"Ehm… Do you have anything to eat here?" She murmured uneasily, actually not liking to ask him anything. Like she hadn't done it already… But since she wasn't able to get anything herself, she was more or less forced to ask, so it's not like she's had much of a choice.

"Hn." He walked to the armchair and opened his backpack and after rummaging in it a little, he pulled out a small plastic bag and passed it to her.

Sayuri had already reached her hand out to take it, but then stopped in her movement, as she saw what it was. A bag of rice crackers. Nothing special actually, but they looked exactly like those they've had at home. She was sure even that they were only sold in the Fire Country, so he must have taken them with him before he had left. Nothing special either and yet it made her feel sad, like that stupid bag was a reminder of what they used to have and what had happened to it, and for the first time now, the first time ever, she was feeling homesick in the true sense of the word. She had missed her friends long before that, but right now she also missed the four walls she called her home…

"What is it?" He asked and interrupted her train of thoughts.

"N-nothing." She shook her head hastily and now took the food quickly, but Sasuke didn't seem convinced.

"Sayuri. Just tell me what you want."

"It's fine. Really." She assured him again and after scrutinizing her for quite some time, he finally nodded, before he turned around and left her alone again.

Her grey-blue eyes remained fixed on the now closed door for quite some time, before she walked backwards until she felt the edge of the mattress against the back of her knees and sat down then. She kept staring at the bag of rice crackers for a long time, constantly telling herself how stupid that was, but then there was still that gross, sour taste in her mouth, so no wonder she couldn't get herself to eat them. Therefore she placed them on the table and started inspecting the room.

It was much warmer up here, at least in comparison to her room, but otherwise it was still fairly cold, but nevertheless the candles hanging at the wall and on the table gave off some heat. There was also a light bulb hanging in the middle of the ceiling, but it was turned off. The light of the candles was much softer anyway and gave the room an almost cozy atmosphere. Just almost though. There were too many bleak stone walls, and the bleak stone ground and just too little furniture to call it cozy.

She got up from the bed and started walking around, wondering if she could discover anything of interest, but apart from a sink she couldn't really find anything. There was even a tube of toothpaste and Sasuke's toothbrush, but she didn't really want to use that one. It's not like it would be the first time. She had done it once by accident, and he still didn't know about it, although she doubted it would bother him – at least back then it wouldn't have bothered him… Still she only used her finger and the toothpaste to get rid of that acidic taste and then ate the crackers after all. Actually the wrong order, but who was there to see it?

Twenty minutes killed and he still wasn't back yet.

She wondered what would happen once he came back anyway. Would they just carry on arguing or would they end up not saying anything at all? She didn't feel like arguing anymore, definitely not, but then he wasn't here at the moment, so where should that urge come from? It was almost impossible to hold back once he was there, because it was his fault that they could no longer be together the way they used to be. He was the reason for all the changes – and as if changes in general weren't bad enough, these were even entirely negative ones; even Scotland Yard would have quite some trouble to find any positive aspects about it.

She sat down on the bed again, her face directed towards the door. The minutes passed and it still wouldn't open and then the bed was so comfortable and was already calling for her, but she was determined to wait for him, although she was anxious about it all the same.

She didn't like these kinds of situations, there was no way for her to prepare for it. What if he wouldn't come at all or he came and his clothes and his hair would be all messy and she'd find traces of lipstick on his collar? It's not like it was any of her business, but she wasn't yet able to convince herself into actually believing that…

She crawled onto the bed and knelt up, so she could look through the window. It was about as large as a picture frame and all the sand must have abraded the glass and it was almost impossible to see anything. With quite some effort, she could imagine to see that huge skeleton down there, but nothing of interest. She could search shapes in the numerous scratches on the thick pane, like reading coffee grounds, but her imagination failed her. All she could see were lines and crosses and some zigzags, a few squares, almost like a pillow and then bricks and darkness.

As it seemed waiting for him would have to wait…

…

…

In spite of how much she had to catch up on, when it came to sleeping, the two-hour-rule came into effect again and so she was awake much sooner than she would have liked. She didn't know if it had really been two hours, but she was sure it was night still, so it can't have been too long.

When she opened her eyes she saw the warm, orange light of the candles flit across the wall her face was directed at. It was darker than before though, so some of them must have burned down or gone out. As she turned to lie on her back, her eyes were at once drawn to the tiny window, which was still black, except for a few reflections of the flickering candles on the opposite wall, but no trace of daylight yet.

She wondered if she'd ever manage to sleep a whole night through again – as long as she was pregnant that is… But even afterwards that wouldn't work. Babies tend to wake up in the middle of the night, don't they? And their shrill shrieks make it pretty much impossible to ignore them. This was probably training already, so she wouldn't blame the lack of sleep on the baby and end up mixing Ambien in its bottle, which would be pretty stupid actually – she should much rather mix it into her own one… Maybe she should develop a little alcohol habit, once she was no longer in danger of poisoning her soon-to-be offspring. Just enough to drink herself into sweet dreams and blessed deafness.

The memories of before slowly swam back up. It's not like she's been disoriented when she woke up; she had known at once where she was, but now all the details made their return. All these short, cut-off movie sequences played there behind her eyes and they really did seem like movies. It often happened lately that she thought back of something she had done about an hour or something before and caught herself thinking something like: _you didn't actually do that, right_?

That's what she thought about what happened earlier. She couldn't believe her own behaviour and yet she was sure that in case she should ever come into the same situation, she would do the very same again.

Pregnant or not…

… Probably….

She tilted her face towards the door, but her gaze remained stuck on the man lying next to her.

So he did come back after all.

She propped herself up and looked into his peaceful sleeping features, softened by dreams. Saw the way his eyes moved under his closed lids, an indicator of REM sleep, which made her hope he had come back quite some time ago, maybe right after she had fallen asleep.

Still she couldn't help but to check his appearance. His hair was ruffled alright, but then he was sleeping, so that didn't have to mean anything, especially considering that his hair looked rather messy lately in general. Then he was still fully dressed and no traces of lipstick on the part of his shirt, the thin blanket didn't cover.

Still that didn't have to mean anything either, but she couldn't imagine he would first sleep with Karin and then come back to sleep in one bed with her. But then maybe he hadn't chosen so. She had just fallen asleep here and this was probably his room, his bed, so why should he have gone somewhere else? He could have woken her up though, but then he had noticed himself that she had been exhausted, so he probably hadn't wanted to rouse her. He had turned out to be really caring when it came to her health, but since she knew about his motives, it didn't seem as positive as it actually was.

He looked so peaceful and innocent when he was sleeping. She had often watched him sleep and she couldn't tell any difference from before. How stupid to think that just because he had apparently changed from the inside, he would also alter from the outside. But still that would make it a little easier to believe. At times he actually managed to fool her into thinking he was still the old one. That it was really like he had said and it wasn't him, but the situation that was different. Like that hadn't just been a welcome excuse, so he could deny any guilt on his part, but even so, no one had forced him to just submit to the situation and yet that's what he had done.

She kept studying the profile of his face, his handsome features, the straight nose, his slightly parted lips, the shadows falling over his eye sockets, the pale glow of his skin. She wanted to touch his cheek to make sure he was real, when a new or actually old thought ran through her head.

They were here in his room and since, unlike her, he was no prisoner, it was probably unlocked.

She could run away now. As it seemed there were only the people she had seen here, which meant four, if she didn't count herself, and they were probably all sleeping. Once she had managed to get past Sasuke it should actually be manageable. He was fast asleep and she had enough chakra to make sure it would stay that way. The only one to worry about was probably Madara, but then he had helped her escape before and from the things he told her, she was sure he'd be glad when she was gone. When she wasn't there to plant even more doubts in Sasuke's mind.

She sat up slowly, careful not to touch him or cause too much motion to the mattress and blanket – anything that might wake him. She would have to act soon, before he would notice the change about the atmosphere, but as long as his eyes were still flickering around under his closed lids she was safe.

But could she really leave now? Staying here any longer would be torture. She just couldn't bear to watch him carry on. Couldn't just stand back and be a mute witness to his act of self-destruction. And in case she should actually have a chance to make him stop, then shouldn't that be reason enough to stay? In spite of the way he wiped the floor with her feelings? In spite of the way he ripped small shreds of her heart, like little girls pull petals from daisies to find out if they are loved? She wondered how he came off once he had gotten to the last piece. She was sure it would end up with '_she loves me'_, but only because he didn't even take a '_not'_ into consideration.

Was she enough of a martyr to go through all that? To sacrifice her own happiness for his sake? The sake of the village? The sake of her friends? The sake of their baby?

It was unfair.

If she'd at least have a guarantee that she'd actually manage to make him stop, it would be different, but she knew nothing. She was almost convinced even that whether she was here or not didn't make much of a difference and yet she wasn't able to give him up. Give them up. Clung to the little _us_ that might one day turn into an actual family. Their family. And that just had to mean something to him, too… Didn't it…?

Both Suigetsu and Madara had told her that he would do anything for his family, so how come she didn't get to see any of that? Did he really think he would do his baby a favour by attacking Konoha – or just the elders? They were old anyway, so why couldn't he just wait for time and old age to give them what they deserved? Why didn't he see that the actions he took in order to protect his future family, actually doomed them to live a life in fear and isolation? And why didn't he ever listen when she told him all that? Why was he so damn stubborn?

"You need to sleep."

Her eyes popped open in surprise and it weren't the only ones. Sasuke's black eyes were open now, too, staring back at her for the longest time, while she was momentarily frozen and could only think of being caught.

"What is it?" He asked quietly and raised an eyebrow, as she just sat there and stared at him without even batting a lid.

"I… I thought of leaving." Sayuri murmured in a hollow voice and knitted her brows, like it surprised her to hear it herself. Still feeling somewhat disoriented, she shook her head, trying to disperse the confusion that was clouding her mind. She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath, before she rolled onto him and gazed down into his calm features.

"It would be manageable. You're so close… even now…" She whispered and slowly moved a hand over his face, without actually touching his skin, coming to a stop once her forefinger reached the spot between his brows. "I could use my chakra to stun you and leave… hoping the others won't notice."

"Then why are you still here?" He asked calmly, not seeming in the least impressed by her confession, or her finger that was still resting there between his eyes, having the potential to put him to sleep for hours, a whole day if she wanted.

"I… I don't know…" She shook her head helplessly and regarded him with a vacant expression.

She really didn't know it, and she didn't know why she told him that, because now that she had, she couldn't put her plans into action anymore. He was keeping her imprisoned here, so it was only natural that she wanted to run away, especially since she knew she couldn't make him change his mind anyway, so why didn't she run? Typical case of Stockholm syndrome and the fact that she was still somewhat in love with her captor, complicated the matter further. Like there was any need for that…

She had so very, very many serious things to worry about, really essential things and yet she couldn't stop thinking about the way Karin had smiled at him. A trifle actually and it was plainly ridiculous that even in such a situation her jealousy was dominating her thoughts. She should be worried about what happened to him, what happened to their baby, what happened to her and yet all she could think about was him. About how she wanted him to be his old self again. How she wanted him all to herself, even now, and how she wished that Karin would just drop dead on the spot.

With a blank face she sat up, straddled his torso and rested her small hands on his chest. Sasuke watched her expectantly and put his hands on her hips, like this was a perfectly normal situation. If it wasn't for the tense atmosphere, you might actually believe so…

"What did Karin want?" She asked eventually and already braced herself for his answer, for the pretty likely case that she wouldn't like what he would say to her.

"Nothing you should concern yourself about."

"Right…" She pressed her lips into a thin line and gazed to the side unhappily, before she scrambled off him and moved to the far edge of the bed, with her face directed at the bleak wall.

Of course he wouldn't tell her. Like seriously, who was she? Just because they've been a couple for more than a year and were having a baby now, didn't mean he had to tell her anything.

She perceived a soft rustling as Sasuke moved closer to her. He slung his arms around her entirely stiff body and pulled her against his chest, nuzzling his nose into her hair.

"You know that I can't let you go again." He whispered into her ear and kissed the side of her neck softly, which only caused her to become even tenser.

"Because of the baby…" She hissed, almost scornfully, like it was actually a bad thing that he seemed to care about his baby, it's just that she wanted him to care about her too. At least a little.

"On the one hand…" He murmured, but didn't finish his sentence and after a couple of seconds, Sayuri turned around to him again, trying to read in his face what he ceased to put into words.

"What else is there?" She asked sceptically and felt her heart rate increase, as she waited for his answer. "Tell me. Please."

He looked at her and parted his lips a little, but instead of putting his response into words, he leaned closer to her and kissed her. Slow and tender. She would have rather liked a verbal response; it was so much easier to interpret something into actions than into words and he most likely knew that. He knew how much weight vocalizing his thoughts would give them. His non-verbal response was weighty enough.

The slow, unhurried kisses. The way he gently stroked her cheek, brushed his thumb over her shoulder. The moment when she had squinted her eyes, only to see that his were closed. The quiet sighs, which made all words redundant for the time being. All his feelings, she seemed to absorb via osmosis. The feelings which so much resembled her own. The jumble of need, hesitance, hate, devotion, jealousy, uncertainty – at least she thought she was getting those signals from him too, or maybe her emotions were just so overwhelming that she couldn't imagine they would fit into one person and projected half of them onto him then. Maybe it was better that he didn't release the weight of a clear response on the fragile remains of what was left of them.

They kissed for about the hundredth time, when he finally pulled his head back and looked down at her with an inscrutable and yet soft expression, only to lean down a few seconds later for kiss no. 101.

She couldn't even remember the last time they had done so. That they had only made-out, without going any farther. They had often done so as they had gotten started, as everything had been new still and they had been more anxious around each other. They used to spend hours with sitting in an armchair or outside on the porch doing nothing but kissing, touching, fondling and that fully clothed.

She didn't know when exactly it happened that those hours have been reduced to ten minutes; when the kissing had only become some kind of precursor to sex, but it had happened, which was actually a pity. Those two things were always thought to be interwoven but somehow that wasn't the case. Or well… they were, but the balance was off and although she has never been dissatisfied with his performance as lover, she still missed those early, innocent days.

If they had never taken that step she wouldn't be in this situation now… Then she wouldn't share her body with someone else. Or was it something else? Baby – frog – tangerine? Either way, the being that had just intruded her plans for the future and only because he (or they?) hadn't been satisfied with mere kissing.

It was amazing how he managed to make her forget about all the overwhelming wrongs, with so little effort. With nothing but his lips. And that after they had still fought before and that with good reason – always ended up fighting sooner or later, for both good and a little less good reasons and every time he'd leave and she'd feel guilty, although she knew she was right and she would wonder if he'd ever come again and he did and then it was like nothing ever happened. That had to have something to do with the situation; in normal circumstances that wouldn't work, but now… Every time they saw each other they started at zero – like nothing of what happened here would matter anything. Like all the things they said would only last as long as the breath which had transported them to the outside.

"Sasuke?" She whispered between two kisses and placed a hand on his cheek, making sure he wouldn't just lean down again and let his lips carry on with what they must have been made for.

"Hn?" He regarded her with a questioning expression, while Sayuri merely brushed the hair out of his face.

"I think it's better that you're not dead…" She murmured eventually and scrutinized him closely, as she waited for his reaction.

He closed his eyes and exhaled loudly and when he opened them again, she could see an amused spark in his deep black eyes. "Glad to hear that."

His answer brought a faint smile on her face – the first one ever since they had brought her here. She couldn't believe that she had actually not smiled a single time in two weeks. Two weeks without a reason to smile – her life really had to suck, but apparently it was getting better. She wanted to think so at least.

Another kiss landed on her forehead, warm and soft as summer rain, before he rolled on his back and pulled her against his chest, while wrapping an arm around her back. She snuggled between his arm and chest and rested her head on his shoulder, while he began moving his hand over her back. It was really calming. She always had a hard time with staying awake when he did so. In case that should work on the baby too, he would secure them quite some pleasant nights.

She was sure she had done him wrong when she told him he would be a horrible father… But then she hadn't meant in general; just when he would carry on with this insanity… When he'd really want it; when he'd decide for his family, he might actually become a good father. The kind of parent that was strict and authoritarian, but would nevertheless be worshipped by his offspring. He had problems with showing his feelings, especially when it came to showing affection, which is why he always came across as cold and reserved, which was true in a way, but there was much more to it. He wouldn't be a daddy, but a father, the kind of father children strive to be acknowledged by, when in reality that wasn't necessary, when they'd never have to do anything to gain his attention, his appreciation.

She could easily picture him as a father, but what kind of a mother would she be? She really couldn't tell, but she doubted she'd be good at it. At least not in the first sixteen-something years… Once it was more or less grown up and she was more or less grown up herself, she'd probably do fine, but in the meantime…? Who knew, but then she was again thinking about what it would be like in normal circumstances, but the circumstances were anything but normal.

"Sasuke?" She propped herself up on his chest and gazed into his relaxed face, right into his now again open eyes.

"Can you really see it?" She asked quietly and stared at his chest, letting her hand run from his neck down to the rough bandages that were covering his torso.

"Not quite." He sighed and stared at the ceiling, pondering about how to explain it best. "It's more like a difference in your chakra flow. At first I didn't know what it was, but then I realized that it was a second source that was overlapping yours."

"Oh, I see…" She nodded and kept studying him, which he didn't miss, at least that's what the frown on his face told her.

"Ehm… Do you want to touch it?" She murmured hesitantly, while Sasuke merely raised an eyebrow, like he wasn't so sure what to make of her words. "Well… it doesn't do anything yet, but… do you?"

"Hn." He nodded and slowly sat up, while Sayuri moved off him, holding her upper body up by leaning on her elbows. She started loosening the ribbon around her waist, or at least she tried to. Jittery as her hands were, it turned into quite a challenge. She didn't know why she was so nervous, it was just her stomach, like he hadn't seen it before and still she was all shaky. She really hoped he wouldn't notice. It took her what felt like minutes to undo the simple knot, before she pushed her kimono to the sides and then lifted the two shirts and the top she was wearing underneath it.

To her relief Sasuke didn't comment on her being too slow and just waited patiently, until she nodded to show him she was ready. He leaned forward then and placed a hand on her belly, so lightly that it made her think he was afraid he might squash it. The touch felt nice, but not really familiar, like she had forgotten what it was like to be touched like this. Still it was anything but unpleasant and in that second it gave a kick.

It was more like a soft flutter, like it just bumped against the inside of her stomach, right where its father's hand was resting, but still it was the first time she had ever felt the baby and then Sasuke was there to share that special moment with her and somehow that made her believe that maybe things would be alright after all, that she wasn't fighting a lost cause. There was magic in the air – okay now, of course that's not what happened.

She would have wished for something like that. Wished for something she could see as a good sign, something that told her that everything would work out well, but there was nothing. He just sat there with his hand on her still barely rounded belly and an expectant look on his face, but nothing happened, which made this whole situation seem kind of stupid. It wouldn't even surprise her to hear the crickets chirp now. She really shouldn't have proposed that, the situation was awkward enough, there was no need for her to make it worse and still he just sat there, stared at her exposed belly and explored her skin with his hand, like it would matter where it was…

It was beginning to get a little chilly down there and she was just about to clear her throat, so he would stop. She had warned him that nothing would happen and yet she was sure he would be disappointed and actually felt guilty or maybe just uncomfortable because of it. Like it was actually her fault that the baby wasn't big enough yet to pull off any exciting feats to entertain him.

She curled her lips, but then Sasuke leaned down and rested his head on her stomach. Sayuri twitched slightly and tensed up at once, a bit taken by surprise. She has already been nervous before, but that was nothing compared to how she felt now. It weren't only her fingers, but pretty much her whole body that was tingling now. Her blood pressure flourished and yet the supply going to her brain seemed rather limited, which is why she wasn't even so sure if this was a comfortable or an uncomfortable feeling.

"I can hear its heartbeat." Sasuke said calmly and kept his ear resting on her bare stomach, his hands placed at the sides of her waist.

"W-what?" Her eyes widened and she lifted her head higher, like it would help her to see anything. "Are you sure it's not mine?"

"Unless you don't have two hearts, then yes."

"But what if you just hear your own heart?" She asked uneasily. Somehow she couldn't believe this. She hadn't even given much thought to the development of the baby yet. It was apparently somewhat around four months old and it was having a real growth spurt at the moment – she could practically see her waistline vanish little by little, day by day, but a heartbeat that was audible without any special apparatus? Again she didn't quite know if it should excite her or if it wasn't rather pretty creepy… It awed her in any case.

"I think I know the difference." He said fully casual, like it didn't impress him at all. "It's beating really fast… and so is yours."

He looked up with a raised eyebrow, meeting her still widened eyes at once. He clearly expected her to say something to explain her nervousness, but talking was pretty much impossible now. Her face must have gone red – fire engine red – and she couldn't believe that only seconds ago she had still been freezing.

She sucked in her bottom lip and regarded him vacantly, still trying to figure out what the (most likely hormone-related) emotional chaos was supposed to mean. Why was she blushing now? And why wasn't the warmth she felt restricted to her face as was usual? And why couldn't she stop looking at him? Even blinking seemed unthinkable, like he'd stop existing the second she took her eyes off him.

"You okay?" He sat up and looked down at her, a little bit of concern visible in his face, but how could she possibly explain to him, what was going on inside her, when she had no idea herself?

"Hm." She moistened her lips and placed a hand on his neck, slowly pulling him down to her. He let her do just that, but was careful to hold most of his weight off her still petite and slender body. But it was most likely not her small frame but rather her valuable subtenant, which made him so considerate. And now his face was only a hand's breadth away from hers, eyeing her expectantly, probably wondering what she wanted to do, or he most likely knew it already, whereas she didn't.

Or well… actually she did.

She knew what she wanted, or at least what her body wanted and that was the exact opposite of what her head wanted. Her head wanted her to stop this very instant, before all her blood would ultimately sink into the southern regions and leave her brain to dry out up there. But then her head already did feel kind of airy and all its arguments dissipated the second they came up, therefore the pleasant warm and tingling feeling that was spreading through her body seemed far more persuasive. Maybe going past kissing has been a mutual thing after all…

She leaned up to kiss him again, just briefly this time, and locked his eyes, while she slowly sank down into the pillows. Her hands began exploring his back, slowly, tentatively, still convinced that she shouldn't do this, but then why did it feel so right?

He lowered himself to her, until his face was nearly touching hers and she could feel his warmth, could even see a tiny trace of it in his dark eyes. He trailed his nose along her face, going from her jaw over her nose to her forehead and back down again, until he came to a stop in the crook of her neck, caressing her skin there with his lips.

A content sigh built in her throat, but then Sasuke sealed her lips with his own and they engaged in a long, deep kiss that left her head spinning. Some time after they had run out of breath, he pulled away again, but kept his face close to hers, his warm breath mingling with hers.

"Are you sure you want this?" He breathed against her lips and closed his eyes briefly, enjoying the closeness.

"You asked that before. Remember?" She smiled softly and brushed her thumb across his cheek, but the look on his face made her sure he didn't. She received no answer in any case and as it seemed, Sasuke was still waiting for her to answer his question, although she had more or less done so. He'd know in case he should remember the first night they had spent together, which she did in all details, although she'd rather let some of them slip her mind…

She could tell him, but then she didn't want to talk now. She wanted him. It was probably just a hormone-thing, but she really wanted him, needed him, although she knew it wasn't right. She'd feel guilty and probably stop after all, but she didn't want to stop, so she couldn't allow him to talk now and give her doubts even more time to grow. Therefore she ran her hands down his back, sliding them under his shirt, to pull it over his head. In that moment she was really glad that he didn't wear anything complicated, like something with buttons. His simple shirt was challenging enough for her nervous hands.

He sat up to make it easier for her and once she had gotten rid of the bothersome garment, she noticed a slight smirk on his lips. Was he mocking her impatience or was it anticipation? She didn't care and lowered her gaze to his half-bare torso. There were still so many wounds, definitely old ones though, but still they must have been really deep, judging from how they still looked and then there was the bandage going around his chest and across his shoulder. She raised her hand and traced her forefinger along the rough, slightly frayed bandages, like it might help her fathom what damage was hidden underneath them. Did she even want to know?

He closed his hand around hers, guiding her out of her trance. She blinked confusedly, but then Sasuke reeled her against his chest, unlike her having all the patience in the world, as he began taking her clothes off. With unhurried hands, he peeled the various layers of clothes from her body, before he reached around her to unclasp her bra. Without taking his eyes off her already heaving chest, he tossed her clothes on the armchair between the bed and the table, before he bent forward and softly laid her down on the rumpled, linen sheets. Then he moved down and removed her lower garments as well, again going at an agonizingly slow pace, before he sat up and just studied her from head to toe, but didn't move or carry on or anything.

And now she lay there, exposed and quivering under his gaze, whereas he seemed literally frozen. Just why didn't he do anything? A sense of self-consciousness arose in her. She has never really felt confident about her body, but he had given her enough reassurance to get over that, but now… The last time she had seen a shower from within seemed to date back to some past life and the bit of soap and water she's had available seemed more than just insufficient, considering how intimate she wanted to get with him and then there was the pregnancy of course… Her body was going through so many changes. Apart from the fact that she was sharing it now, she was also growing bigger and not only her stomach. She barely fitted into her old bras anymore, but she doubted that that of all things would bother him. But then what was about that look? This wasn't the oh-my-god-I-can't-believe-how-beautiful-you-are kind of look – not that she had ever gotten that; at least not with the dropping jaw, the drooling, the big eyes and the flushed face she imagined to go with that. He rather looked sullen.

Shame almost made her turn around, but she forced herself to keep lying on her back, completely exposed. This wasn't the kind of situation in which she wanted to see just how well he could convey messages with his eyes, if he only wanted to; at least not when it wasn't anything positive.

"What is it?" She asked feebly, not only shivering with anticipation, but also with insecurity now.

His eyes slowly travelled up her upper body, going over her lips, she had now sucked in so he wouldn't see them tremble, before he finally locked her eyes. He looked no more comfortable than her and as he turned his eyes away after a couple of seconds, she suddenly knew what this was all about.

"Is this so important to you? Really, what does it matter?"

She was putting him off. Actually she knew exactly what he wanted to hear and she could tell him at once, but somehow she didn't want to. He had his thing with Karin and she's had her thing (or rather not) with Yashamaru and even if she really should have slept with him, than they'd only be even now, right?

"I don't know…" He shook his head slowly, before his piercing eyes met hers again. "But it does to me. Just thinking of someone else touching you…" His voice was lower now and again he gazed to the side, avoiding her eyes.

What an interesting turn of events. He's never been the jealous type, there has only been that thing with Neji, but that wasn't really jealousy. He was too sure of himself for that, but apparently now he was not and somehow instead of being bothered by his covetousness, it felt more like a compliment, somehow reassuring.

"I didn't." Sayuri shrugged and now he turned back to her, looking into her eyes sceptically, like he wanted to climb into her head, search it for the memory section, to make sure she was telling the truth, but as it seemed he believed her anyway. He drew closer and kissed her, with his arms all around, all over her, wrapping her in pleasure.

He took so much time. Whereas she could hardly wait, he seemed to have been gifted with a patience, he has never yet possessed, or maybe he just enjoyed the way she shivered underneath him, knowing that it was all his doing. He's always been fond of teasing her, but right now it barely bothered her. Her senses were heightened to a nearly surreal extent and she was far too captivated by the thrill of feeling his body on hers. By the way his lips rekindled memories of a better time.

Beginning at her fingertips he kissed one finger at a time, up to her elbows, over her arms, her shoulders, her chest, while his fingers were determined to feel every bit of her trembling body, exploring all the little alterations that barely deserved all the time he dwelled on them. Amazing how he managed to make her feel good about herself again, with the intimate way he stroked her neck, her back, her thighs, giving her enough caresses to make up for the time of separation that seemed so far away right now.

The kisses became shorter and more urgent, as his breath came hot and heavy; shaky too, just like hers. His restraint and self-control had gotten lost some time earlier, she could feel the undeniable evidence against her thigh and yet he wouldn't give in, although he was probably torturing himself more than her by now, which didn't lessen the sweet ordeal he was putting her through. So long that she ended up begging him to stop and then he did.

Then came the feeling good part. No more need, torture or impatience, but fulfilment, unrestricted pleasure – the very thing they both needed more than anything right now. They disengaged from the all too grave, all too weighty circumstances, retreated into a sphere, where no memories, neither good nor bad, could follow and that's where they stayed. Even afterwards, they kept sitting knotted together, as if to undo them would separate them once and for all. Would haul them back to zero and render everything that just happened unimportant.

Sasuke was leaning with his back against the cold wall, while Sayuri sat on his lap, her legs kneeling on either side of him. The side of her face was pressed against his breastbone, listening to the still slightly irregular murmuring of his heart and she had wrapped her arms a little too tightly around his back to pass as normal.

It felt so good to be in his arms. Safe. Protected. Warm. This was exactly where she was meant to be all along. The way their bodies moulded into each other like two matching pieces of a puzzle left no doubt about that. Yet she didn't feel at ease. Not peaceful like just a few minutes ago… He had lifted her into higher spheres of bliss, those heavenly white spheres she had often treaded in the past, but which had seemed like a fantastic dream in the context of her new reality.

He had proven her wrong though, had taken her by the hand and elevated her above the mundane worries that dictated their days and she wanted to stay there, high up in the fields of pleasure, ignorance and shared seclusion, but she knew that was impossible. Gravity was already pulling her back into a reality she would much rather leave behind. A reality that was so cruel, so capricious, so sure to end in a catastrophe that she didn't even feel the slightest inclination to be a part of it any longer.

So she clung fast to him, desperately trying to hold together the loosely woven threads of their togetherness, but the harder she tried the easier they seemed to slip through her fingers, like the contact would turn them to dust. That's why she couldn't relax anymore and was barely able to enjoy the intimate situation, although she should savour every single second of it, savour it like it was the last time, which might even be the case.

She held on to him as tightly as she could, so much that her arms were already beginning to ache, but she didn't care. A bit of pain seemed a comparatively minor sacrifice, if it meant she could keep him here. If she could just make him stay… It would have been nice to feel him cradle her just as tightly, she would like to feel the pain of his so much stronger arms, trying to squeeze her into his chest, hiding her in his ribcage, isolated from the world and all its evils like a bird in a gilded cage, but he just kept his hands loosely folded at the small of her back, his thumbs trailing over the ridges of her spine.

A ghost touch – far too light and fleeting to pass as real. The second his fingers left her skin, the remembrance of his caress would vanish along with them; would leave her wonder about the reliability of her own senses. After she had endured so much pain because of him already, had cried and suffered so much, now she caught herself wishing for him to hurt her again, because then at least she'd feel alive. Then she could be sure that he was alive as well… alive still…

"It's getting late. Don't you think it's about time to let go?" Sasuke asked in a soft voice and moved his hands to her elbows, tugging at them lightly.

"Don't want to…" She mumbled and snuggled deeper into his chest, bare except for the bandages, and tucked her head under his chin, so he couldn't look at her.

"You can't do so forever." He dropped his arms again and moved his hands towards her waist, softly brushing his nails over the soft indentations of her ribcage, which caused her to cringe, but instead of letting go she only tightened her grip.

"Maybe… but there are enough reasons to at least try so…"

"_Reasons_?"

"Uh-huh. At least three rational ones. You wanna hear them?" She moved her head back to look at him after all, and after scrutinizing her closely for a long moment, he nodded.

"Okay. First, it's cold in here and you are warm and it feels nice and I missed… it…" Okay that last part didn't belong to rational, but it was true anyway.

"Were that all three now?" He leaned forward, pushing her with him, before he leaned back against the wall again and now draped the blanket, he had just picked up, around her shoulders, receiving a mild smile in return.

"That's just the first." She shook her head lightly and kept her eyes fixed on his. "Second, if I keep clinging to you, you can't leave me to go through all that creepy pregnancy stuff all alone." She sighed and lowered her gaze, as she went for her last point. "Third, you can't attack Konoha buck naked, so…"

"I can't?" He raised an eyebrow, while a sceptical half-smile-half-frown appeared on Sayuri's face, since he sounded so utterly serious about that.

"No. Because you don't want to go down in history as the naked man who used his preg-… … who used his unborn baby as a human shield." She murmured and looked down unhappily.

She couldn't get herself to say girlfriend. She didn't know what she was to him. Just because they've had sex didn't mean they were back together again. She couldn't trust him anymore and then the thing they had built up in the last hour didn't even stand the ghost of a chance to survive outside of the protective walls of this room. Probably not even in here… And then he had clearly heard the blank – she was sure he had – and he must know what it meant too, and yet he wouldn't say anything about it, which only confirmed her in her belief that this whole thing was probably less important to him than it was to her.

"But it could become quite problematic to rob the toy store that way – I doubt they like seeing naked people there…" He said in a musing tone and now the hints of a frown vanished from her face and were replaced by a full smile. She even dared to loosen her grasp a bit and move farther away, so it was easier to look at him.

"I nearly forgot about that! Make sure to take a cart with you – we'll need quite a lot of things…" She stared into the air, as she tried to summon the image of a typical nursery in her mind. "We'll need a crib and a changing table… Clothes, bottles, pacifiers…"

"Loads of diapers…" Sasuke added.

"Absolutely." She giggled and also saw the tiniest hint of a smile on Sasuke's face. "And books! All the books about pregnancy and babies you can get hold of and you should get a lot of toy shuriken and so on, too. The earlier it starts training the better…" She cast her eyes down quickly, but she was sure he saw how uncomfortable it made her feel to think about how their child would probably never have a normal, carefree childhood. This just wasn't right. They were the parents, so they were supposed to keep all harm away from it, make sure it would have a good start in life, but how could they possibly do so? The baby wasn't even born and yet they had already failed it.

"I didn't mean to get anything else…" He said and gently brushed the hair out of Sayuri's face, drawing her gaze back to him, and there was again that distant, inward smile on her face, that perfectly displayed all the effort behind it.

"What if it's a girl and she wants a doll?" Sayuri raised an eyebrow, trying to just smile away all her fears and act cheerful, at least a little, otherwise it would probably turn out as the complete opposite.

"She gets both then." He shrugged and there was again that thing about his eyes. There was so much more to them than merely his Sharingan. Apart from the intimidation-function, they also possessed some sort of analysis-mode, like there was an invisible battering ram in them that broke through all the shields and defences that were actually supposed to keep him from seeing her thoughts and she wasn't a good enough actor to make him doubt what he had read in them and yet she still tried, although she knew it was pointless.

"And what if it's a boy and he wants a doll?"

"Hmpf." He snorted and rolled his eyes, while Sayuri started to giggle. Almost an honest giggle even – if she couldn't fool him into believing she was in a good mood, then maybe she could at least fool herself.

"Just imagine we'll catch our son wearing my clothes and shoes and with lipstick all over his face." Now the laughter came even more natural, as she had a picture of a young Sasuke in this very situation in mind. "I should really buy some more colours, so he'll have a broader variety."

"Tze… don't tempt our children to become drag queens."

"We'll see about that." She laughed and leaned forward to kiss Sasuke, before she settled her head against his shoulder. Somehow the laughing and the talking had exhausted her more than their lovemaking, but she didn't want to sleep yet, out of fear of what the world would look like tomorrow.

"Would you rather have a boy or a girl?" She asked, just for the sake of saying something and keep herself awake that way. It wasn't really a secret that he wanted a boy – an heir – someone who would carry his name into the next generation.

"Hm…" He emitted a musing sound, while he lifted the blanket to tuck her in again and then put his arm around her back to support her, so it was more comfortable for her to sit there. "I want both."

"Both?" Her eyes widened a little and although she knew exactly what he meant, she deliberately misunderstood his words. "You mean a hermaphrodite?"

"Yes, Sayuri. I really want a hermaphrodite." He sighed, and the sound of his voice made it easy to imagine how a grin tried hard to manifest there on his lips, but of course he wouldn't let it. He never did.

"It's okay if you want to smile." She yawned and began running her fingers over his back. "I'm not looking and I won't tell anyone, so just go ahead."

"I'll keep that in mind." He murmured while Sayuri struggled to sit up again, bringing her face on a level with his.

"Seriously… You know other people scream to let off some steam, but you… you must have enough laughs stored in there to last for weeks, considering how much time you've spent with Naruto and Suigetsu…" She pointed at his chest and looked at him in a challenging manner, but there wasn't any upward movement in his lips. Instead his hand found its way into her hair and he pushed her forward, at once meeting her lips with his. She'd let him get away with it. She'd smile enough for the two of them then, regardless of how exhausting it was. And it really was.

She nearly fell asleep, still there in his arms, still in the middle of a kiss, not really surprising, considering how little she had slept in the last terribly lonely days. A bit later his lips were gone then and she only just perceived still how Sasuke gently lowered her on the bed, like she was made of glass and the slightest touch might break her.

He brushed some strands of her dark-violet hair out of her face and cupped her cheek in his hand, all the time keeping his eyes fixed on her. There was that look in them, that softer look, but there was more to it. He had often looked at her like that… used to do so… it was that kind of look that always managed to make her feel special, because she had never seen him look at anyone else like that.

"You're pale." He whispered and stroked his thumb over her delicate cheekbone, receiving a faint smile in return. "You should sleep now…"

She shook her head lightly and raised her hands to his shoulders, while he regarded her patiently. "Not yet… I want you to promise…"

"Promise?" He asked and raised an eyebrow as she didn't carry on right away, still pondering over her words.

"Yeah, promise." She nodded. "Promise that you'll-"

"I promise." He interrupted her and moved his head to the side to kiss her small hand.

"You don't even know what I wanted to say."

"Does it matter?"

"What if I wanted you to promise not to go to Konoha?"

"You wouldn't." He shrugged simply.

"What makes you so sure of that?" She asked, not understanding how he could be so sure of that, especially since she had asked him that before.

"You know better than that…" He explained and eyed her attentively, again looking right into her head and although she tilted her face to the side then, she doubted it would do to keep her disappointment hidden. Her eyes fell shut already and she almost forgot what she wanted to say, it probably wouldn't matter anyway.

"What is it now?" He asked and brushed the back of his hand along her cheek, gently pushing her face back to his.

She opened her eyes then, which were already heavy with sleep and slurred in a drowsy voice: "Just promise you'll come back."

What a mean thing to ask of him – depending on how things turned out, he couldn't possibly keep his promise, but still he knew what she needed to hear…

"I promise I'll come back. Once this is over we'll start anew. This is only the beginning…" He said in a soft voice and leaned down to kiss her, before he laid down next to her and spread the blanket evenly over both their bodies and closely entwined as they lay, it didn't matter that it was actually just meant for a single person.

She couldn't stop thinking about his words. Beginning? Did he really think that was possible? From how cheerful and casual they had acted you could actually believe so, but it had just been an act and she wondered if he earnestly thought they could just start anew, or if it was just an act as well. When was it that he had become the optimistic one of them? And talking about all these things had made their new life, their new beginning seem almost within reach. Like she would just have to open her arms and embrace it, but why couldn't she? He was looking forward and she was closing inward, when she should probably share his enthusiasm.

Okay, positive thinking now: Everything will work out well. No one will get hurt. They will get a new beginning. A second beginning. A wonderful thought, wasn't it? But then how come it felt so much like an ending?

…

…


	35. Letting go

**35. Letting go **

Silence startled her awake.

Actually she had gotten used to the silence that was lurking in every corner, every niche of this huge construction; has had more than enough time to grow familiar with it, and yet, right now it was different. Not different in general and still not like before, although her knowledge of that 'before' was a little bit impaired by the fact that she has been sleeping. And really long… At least she guessed so from the way her head felt… When she's had too little sleep, her brain felt like a shrivelled raisin, just dry and used-up, whereas when she's had too much sleep, it felt thick and mushy, like an old sponge and all her thoughts first had to find a way through the single pores, which is why it all went a bit slow…

Her grey-blue eyes slowly fluttered open, her range of sight obstructed by the dark-grey wall in front of her. It wasn't quite dark anymore, not light either, something in between that. She moved her face up, her eyes drawn to the tiny window, which was silvered with a hint of daylight. It almost looked like a mirror, a very old and worn one that could even turn the prettiest face into a hideous visage. But there was definitely light. Sunlight.

She rolled on her back, actually meaning to get up, when her gaze roamed over the rest of the bed. Over the tousled sheets, the thin pillow, the empty space next to her…

Not just a little confused, she propped herself up on an elbow and guided her hand over the cool mattress. There was still a slight dent where Sasuke had lain, but no trace of his warmth. He must have left some time earlier, but why hadn't he told her? Maybe he'd be right back. Maybe he was getting their breakfast. The kind of activities they had devoted themselves to last night, usually left him starving and not only him…

With the blanket wrapped around herself she sat up, moved to the middle of the mattress and knelt down there, so she could look through the window. She could just about see nothing. Not even the sun, she missed so badly. It had to be on the very other side and the contours of the yard she could see were bathed in shadows, so she couldn't even use those to tell by their direction how late it was.

She kept sitting there for quite some time, hoping her eyes would get accustomed to the many scratches and grains on the windowpane, so she would be able to just see past them, but she wouldn't say she was successful… There was more dust and dirt on the glass than clear spots, so the window kind of failed its purpose.

She probably sat there for half an hour, before she turned around and looked at the door, waiting for it to finally open, but it wouldn't. She decided to get dressed then and washed herself and all that, just so that she had something to do and although she really took her time, he still wasn't back when she was done.

He had better come back with the most delicious breakfast she has ever eaten in her whole life and it should also look like that! It's not like it would make a difference to her stomach, but it was a matter of principle.

She strayed through the room some more, before she slumped down in the not exactly comfortable armchair. It just had far too little upholstery and far too many coil-springs – it felt almost like sitting on a bed of nails. If she should ever decide to become a fakir, this would definitely be her training tool of choice. But wait a second…

A startled frown appeared on her face, before she slid to the edge of the armchair and turned around to look at it, seeing nothing but the lumpy and somewhat stained cushion she was sitting on.

Where was Sasuke's backpack?

Yesterday it stood right here and she hadn't seen it anywhere else, so he had definitely taken it with him, but why? In case he should have really just left to get breakfast for them, then he wouldn't have taken it with him, but what was he doing then? Where in the world was he?

This was almost like the first night they had spent together. Everything had been just fine and then in the morning he had left her alone without any explanations. Back then it had turned out that she had interpreted far too much into that situation, but what about now? It didn't have to be that way again. It was their new start, like he had said. Things weren't the same anymore, the situation was much graver, which is why even the simplest gestures gained a significance far beyond their actual meaning. And him leaving her alone here was anything but a simple gesture…

She's had that weird feeling before; a sense of foreboding, triggered by his talk about a new beginning. The whole day, she had thought so much about how they had gotten together. About how things had been as they had only just become a couple. Even now she was still thinking about it and was drawing comparisons with the current situation, but those memories were connected to a queasy feeling. A faint, distressing flutter in her heart, a physical manifestation of her qualms. You tend to remember the beginning of something when it comes to an end – she knew that and that was why she tried to look ahead instead of back, but she just couldn't, which is probably why she didn't share his belief in a rosy future.

She knew he was strong – both physically and mentally – and he knew that as well, but nevertheless he tended to overestimate his abilities from time to time. He believed that there was nothing he couldn't do, and actually that attitude was quite admirable, but not in consideration of the insanity he had in mind.

They would start anew… As if… It would be a new beginning for her, there was no way around that, but not for them. If he'd stick to his plans of killing the elders he would definitely die. It was just impossible for three people (since she doubted that Karin would fight with them) to conquer an entire village, regardless of how strong they were. Not even the Sharingan should be much of a help when it came to fending off thousands of enemies simultaneously and then the mere thought…

_Enemies_…

Did he really regard the people of Konoha as enemies? He said he only wanted the elders, but what about those who would get in his way? He couldn't just walk past them. They would attack him and he would fight back or he would attack them, before they could even do something. Before they even realized that he had come back as an enemy.

Unless Naruto and the others hadn't returned to Konoha, they still didn't know anything about what was going on. Her team-mates probably didn't know themselves; at least she hasn't been able to make sense of the words he had said back then and from how vague and incoherent they have been, she doubted that they had done any better…

What happened to them anyway? She was here since almost two weeks. Thirteen full days and no one had come here yet, at least as far as she could tell. What if they had been here already and they fought? What if they were dead? Would Sasuke have kept that secret from her? Maybe he would, but Karin certainly wouldn't, even if Sasuke should have forbidden her to talk about it. She would do anything to drive a wedge between them and what better way was there than by telling her that her… well… whatever he was to her now had killed her best friends? And could he have actually done it?

She would like to think he couldn't; that in spite of the way he acted and all these things he said, he was still attached to his old friends, but somehow she couldn't… She was sure that when he tried to convince himself that they meant nothing to him, he would actually believe that, but then why was she here?

Not here in this building – that was pretty obvious – but here in his room, even with him in his bed a short time ago. He had said he couldn't stop thinking about her and that she has been able to make him doubt his decision, so in a way her voice has been louder than the one of his own mind. Maybe it would be the same with the others… maybe he wouldn't be able to cut the bonds with them either, but nevertheless he would go to Konoha and when he would be attacked by a whole village, he probably wouldn't have time to differentiate between fiend and friend. Wouldn't be able to hear his conscience through the noise of battle and then he might end up killing them after all or get killed by them.

What if he had gone to Konoha already?

He was gone. His backpack was gone and then the whole situation yesterday… It was almost like back then. He has been so indulgent and tender and affectionate and had talked about a new beginning, but in such a weird way that she just hadn't been able to believe him. Maybe he had again said goodbye without actually saying it. Maybe that feeling she had gotten had been right… He tended to do things differently than other people, so why should it be surprising that he talked about a beginning, when he meant an ending? Just like she had assumed…

He must have known how she would have reacted in case he would have told her that he was leaving already. She would have acted on her threat and would have clung to his legs and tried to keep him from going – from moving his legs in general. Maybe she would have stunned him after all and then told the others that he was ill or that he had wound fever or anything. Just until she had found a way to make him stop – found an argument he just couldn't refute, like all the other ones she had brought forth up to now, regardless of how valid they have actually been. Maybe she could develop some sort of mind-control jutsu, something which would enable her to drive Madara's influence out of his brain. A hundred years of sleep should be sufficient for that and once sleeping beauty woke up, time would have solved his problems anyway and then they really could live happily ever after…

Okay. Enough nonsense now. She should have really used her chance to escape as long as she's still had the possibility to, but nooo… she just had to let her libido take over. She could have run away and informed the right people of his plans, so they could intercept him before he reached the Leaf Village. Then they could take him captive for a change and if there were more people who tried to talk sense into him, then maybe they could accomplish something. Or if he'd just wait until his child was born, maybe then he'd change his mind by himself.

It didn't matter. It was too late to think about all these maybes, to think about all the things she could have done… Fact is she hadn't done a thing and now he wasn't there any more and she didn't know where he was, only that he wasn't here and that an hour was an awfully long time for making breakfast, especially if you took into consideration that he had taken all his tools and weapons for support…

She could no longer sit there and do nothing, so she started straying through the room, hoping she might see his backpack somewhere after all, hoping he'd just come in, but no. He just wouldn't. But he couldn't seriously leave without saying goodbye, could he? Maybe she should go and search him. Maybe she could leave after all and implement the plans she had only just regretted not to have put into action the day before.

Slowly she walked to the door and pressed her ear against it, listening for any sounds, but she couldn't hear anything. Sneaking out in the middle of the day was quite risky, but then maybe she would benefit from her boldness. Who knew? Getting out at night hadn't worked and in case someone saw her, well it didn't really matter, they'd just lock her back in then, but when Sasuke should find her, she'd just say she searched for him.

Once she was sure that there was no sound in the corridor on the other side of the door, she put a hand on the metallic handle and gave it a push, but it wouldn't open. She tried again, tried harder, pressed her whole weight against the door, but it persistently refused to budge.

He seriously locked her in again! She couldn't believe it! After yesterday you should think he would trust her enough to not feel the necessity to deprive her of her liberty any more than he already did, but apparently that was not the case. Unbelievable how fake he was! Here he told her about how they'd start a new life and all that and kissed her and whatever and then he just locked her in again and left her all alone.

Now she was sure. He was definitely gone. If he was anywhere in this building still, he probably wouldn't have locked her, since he wouldn't have any trouble with finding her. How could he just leave her here without even saying goodbye? What if that had been the last time she had ever seen him? What if he would actually die? He had promised her to come back, but how could he possibly keep that promise? Why had he even given it to her, when he had to know himself that he might not be able to keep it? Or was he actually, utterly convinced that there was no way for him to die?

Madara had said so and then he had also said that himself, but that was just his ego speaking. Just because he said it and apparently believed it, didn't mean it would also work out that way… This was reality and not a place where wishes came true and it would never be one… Even if he should get out of there unscathed, there were so many people in Konoha she cared about – what if something happened to them? What if Sasuke would do something to them? What a horrible thought and the worst thing about it was that it could very well happen – would most likely happen.

And what would happen once this was over anyway? Would Sasuke and Madara just shake hands and part – till the next village needs to be destroyed? He knew too much now. He knew about Madara's base, knew his plans, his way of thinking, his way of fighting – there was no way he would let him get away. It would be too risky for him. And just because they shared the same blood, didn't mean they owed each other any loyalty – he wouldn't spare Sasuke, just because he was his relative – to him he was merely a threat, so even if Sasuke should survive the attack on Konoha, Madara probably wouldn't let him live, unless he decided to stay with him and carry on acting as his personal vassal. Would that be their new life? Did his new beginning include Akatsuki?

She climbed on the bed and went straight to the window. After some fruitless attempts at cleaning it, she searched for something heavy and tried to smash it, but it was far too thick, so all she could do was move her face as close to it as possible and try to peek through the ladybird-sized spots that weren't dirty, wondering if she could see any movement on the yard outside, although she hoped she wouldn't.

After some time she did see movement though, but not of the kind she was afraid of, although it wasn't exactly encouraging either. She could finally see the shadows move, as the sun wandered its usual road across the sky, which told her that she had to be sitting here for quite some time, which caused all her doubts about her theory to die out slowly but surely.

Her neck began to ache and her hands were entirely shaky and she couldn't keep them still, so she turned away from the window and started making the bed, just so she had something to occupy them with, but thirty seconds later she was done with it already and just watched them tremble and twitch from time to time. She didn't even know what to do with herself, she just wandered around, used her fingers to comb her hair, rinsed her dry mouth with water, wandered around some more and then crouched in the far corner of the bed against the wall, all the time racking her brain about all the worst-case-scenarios she could come up with, just everything that could possible go wrong.

Eventually some scattered beams of sunlight forced their way through the few free spots on the glass, casting fine lines of light on the neatly made bed. She had waited so long to finally see the sun, had felt such an indescribable and unprecedented longing to just stare right into the great fireball, until it would burn her eyes and she'd feel engulfed by warmth, too much to bear and yet not even nearly enough to meet her need. She would just have to move to the window and then she would finally see it, feel it – it was so easy, so, so easy… She wouldn't even have to get up and yet she rather remained sitting there in the shadows, with her knees closely drawn to her chest, so not even her feet would get the privilege of bathing in the warm rays.

Feeling cold was good at the moment, it was appropriate. She could tell herself she was shaking because of the cold and not because she was nervous. Worried? Afraid? Scared stiff? Probably all of that. She was so terrified that she was feeling sick, so the cold was far more pleasant. She could just place her chilly hands in her neck then, which saved her a walk to the sink. If she could just freeze here on the spot and not come back to life until all of this was over, what a great relief that would be! But the temperatures up here just wouldn't suffice; she'd rather be back in her old room – at least there's been some sort of room service…

Was she really all alone in this building? Had they all gone to Konoha and would only let her out when they came back? If they came back at all… but what if not? Would she starve here waiting for them? Waiting for him… Was he so selfish that in case he should die, he wanted to make sure that she and their baby would follow him?

Sheltered in a corner of her potential tomb, she kept pondering about these and many other things, mainly about him. There were so many images in her head, images of him, old ones, sequences of his past, _their_ past, but also his future or what she thought to be his future.

Crimson.

Her head was filled with crimson. The path he had chosen was red. A path that led back into the past and not into the future. She'd never ever see him again, not even if he survived the attack… She was suddenly sure of it.

Then the door opened and Sasuke came in.

Just like that. Like she hadn't waited here all day. Like she hadn't sat here for hours and had tried to find out how she would cope with the loss of him. Like her head hadn't been invaded by an army of corpses whenever she had only so much as blinked.

He walked in without saying anything and closed the door behind him, while Sayuri stared at him like he was a ghost, which would be the only logical conclusion to all the theories she had set up in the last hours. Once she had managed to get her mouth to shut again and her lids to go down a bit and keep her eyeballs from falling out, she took in his full appearance. He had a backpack over his shoulder, not his own though, but hers, and he held a plate in his hands – but what was most striking was the cloak he was wearing.

An Akatsuki cloak!

Did he plan to go to Konoha like that? They'd attack him the second they only caught sight of the prominent red clouds, scattered all across the otherwise black garment. It would probably be safer if he drew a big fat target with flashing lights on his chest. Not enough that he planned to attack the Hidden Leaf in the first place; no… he also had to make it even harder for him than it already was! She was beginning to wonder if he maybe planned on not getting out of there alive. If he meant to close the book of his clan's history through his own demise.

In spite of his promise.

It wouldn't be the first time he had lied…

He walked to the table and placed the plate on it, before he let her backpack slide off his shoulder and put it on the floor right beside the armchair.

"You must be hungry…" He said in a low voice and now finally looked right into her face, which was still set in an appalled expression. He raised an eyebrow questioningly and slowly moved closer to her, placing both his hands on the cold and a little rough linen blanket, before he leaned forward to kiss her. She turned her face to the side, so he only got her ear, which was still too much for her taste.

"Where have you been?" She snapped, once he had drawn back, so she felt it safe to turn back to him, although she had to bite into her bottom lip to keep it from quivering.

"We had a conference." He explained and eyed her closely. "I wouldn't have thought it would take this long."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked in an offended tone, while she internally sighed in relief. "You left me all alone here. I've been so worried. I thought you had gone to Konoha already… I thought you left me again…"

She moved her eyes down to his hands, but then they were drawn to the red cloud right in the middle of his torso. How much she hated these cloaks. How much she hated the people that were usually wearing them.

"There's no need for you to worry about me."

"Then don't give me so many reasons to."

"Hm." He regarded her musingly, before he reached up to push a strand of her long hair behind her ear, disturbing her sight of the much hated garment for a moment. "Guess it will be better for you when we end this as soon as possible."

"That's not how I meant it!" She started up, her eyes wide with dread. "I don't want you to go at all…"

"I did promise you to return, didn't I? So stop agonizing yourself about all this." He said in a soft and yet insistent voice and as Sayuri was just about to give her opinion to the whole matter, he carried on. "We decided to move to a different hideout tomorrow, so you should get some rest before that."

"Why do you need to move away, when this hideout is so far away and well-hidden?" She enquired, still remembering the utter conviction with which he had proclaimed that her team would need more than a week to get here.

"That's what being a nuke-nin is like. You're never really safe unless you keep moving." He murmured and waited a few seconds, before he went for the next and more important reason for their decision. "Besides, the other hideout is close to Konoha. From there we can monitor it and attack once we see an opening."

"B-but y- your wounds aren't even healed yet…" She stammered, her mouth barely able to keep up with her thoughts, since she was just far too upset by his sudden revelation. Things were happening so fast now. Before he had come, she had only guessed what had happened, it had been mere assumptions that could just as well have been mistaken, which they had, but now she was given facts, so she could no longer seek comfort in hoping to be wrong.

"It will still take some time, right?" She eyed him hopefully and lifted a hand to brush his bangs out of his face, expecting to find bandages underneath it, but they had already been removed. All she could see was a pale pink spot, about the size of a fingerprint, with a bit of scab on it, but it didn't even look nearly as bad as she would have expected or maybe even hoped…

"No. We've all sufficiently recovered. There won't be any need for further delay."

"B-but… no…" She shook her head helplessly, unable to find a good argument, so she just cupped his face in her hands and tried to shake his head as well, like that would make any difference… She slid closer and knelt down right in front of him, before she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and leaned her face against his. Their noses touched lightly, their eyelashes tangled and everything was blurry, so she closed her eyes, fully concentrating on the feeling of skin against skin.

"Please…" She breathed against his lips and raked her fingers through his hair slowly, resting her hand on the top of his head then.

"Sayuri…" He sighed, leaving it at saying her name, so he wouldn't have to repeat what he must have told her a dozen times already. She lowered her head then a little, admitting defeat, but didn't move away otherwise.

"But what does it give you? You're not happy with them living, but once they are dead you couldn't become happy either, so where's the point?" She asked, all too vividly seeing the life of a rogue-nin in front of her mind's eye. He couldn't seriously want that, could he?

"You still don't understand this… This has never been about me getting happy – this is about me doing what I have to do…" He explained calmly, while Sayuri only emitted a miserable sound and lowered her hands, loosely resting them on his shoulder blades.

"I know you're scared…" Sasuke whispered and nudged her nose with his. "… but you shouldn't. You shouldn't think about all this, it's not good for you." He opened his eyes as Sayuri drew her head back and he could see a suspicious gleam in the wide blue pools of hers. "You just concentrate on being pregnant and feeling good and trust me to take care of the rest."

"How?" She asked quietly with a distraught look on her face. "How am I supposed not to think about all this? How am I supposed to feel good, when I could lose everything I ha—"

"Shh." He hushed her. "Just don't…"

She gazed to the side and shook her head repeatedly. How could he ask that of her? Like there was even the faintest possibility for her to forget about that. He was right though. She was scared. Damn scared. So scared by her own imagination, by the slim possibility of finding clairvoyance in her thoughts that she couldn't think of anything but losing him. _Him_. The person who meant more to her than anyone else, more than her own life even; regardless of everything that happened between them…

She turned her face back to him, saw an incredible patience in his features, a softness, a confidence, a realness… How absurd it seemed to think of him maybe stopping to exist soon, when he was here with her, real and solid, warm, and then that endless convincement in his eyes, a convincement she just couldn't share or even understand and yet she wanted a part of it…

She leaned in to give him a peck on the lips, then his cheeks, the tip of his nose, before she rested her forehead against his, entirely absorbed in the warmth of their breaths mingling with each other.

"Then help me." She murmured quietly, desperately, and moved her hands to his chest, slowly pulling down the zipper of his dark cloak. "Help me forget about it." She kissed him again, longer this time and more urgently, while she slid the thick cloak off his shoulders and tossed it away. She hated to see him in it. She'd best like to stomp it into the ground and spit on it so he would never wear it again.

Without breaking the kiss, she used her feet to push herself backwards and then sunk down in the middle of the mattress, pulling Sasuke along with her. He kissed her back with a bit more restraint, but once her hands fumbled for the hem of his shirt, he drew back and brushed a hand across the side of her face, while eyeing her questioningly, apparently confused about her sudden behaviour.

"Please…" She moaned and propped herself up on her elbows, closer to him. "Make me feel good again." She met his eyes with a pleading look and after a couple of seconds he nodded finally and took his shirt off himself, before he slung his arms around her still raised torso and pushed her down on the bed, his body right above hers, their lips locked into place.

This so wasn't the time for this. That's why he had looked at her like that, but she couldn't help it. She needed him. Needed him to fill the empty spaces the fear had eaten into her psyche. How shabby of her to use him like that, but she had told him so and then he was the reason for her inner conflict, he was the reason why she had to go through all this in the first place, so it shouldn't be asking too much of him to make her feel good again. To get her back into these heights, where nothing of what happened could reach her. It was either that, or she would have to crawl into a deep black hole, crawl so deep down that no pain could follow and stay there until she'd run out of air and would have to return to the surface and all these terrible things and people inhabiting it.

There was nothing like the way he kissed. The way his lips molded so perfectly to hers, the sensations they could evoke as they trailed over her body, same as his hands. His sure hands, strong and yet soft; she liked looking at them, liked feeling them – trying not to think about all the things they had done already, all the pain they had caused, the lives they had taken. It was a part of being a ninja, part of the job, it was just hard to imagine how something that made her feel so good, had brought terror upon other people, so she shunned these thoughts, washed his hands of everything they had ever done, but he would soon end up staining them again…

Finally his lips left hers. He hovered above her, locking her eyes, while he softly trailed a finger along her neckline, before he reached under her and pulled her against his chest. Her head fell against his torso, listening to the quiet murmuring of his heart so close to the surface, inhaling his scent, a subtle, yet intoxicating fragrance, always reminding her of winter, of sitting in front of a chimney, the contrast of the fresh and clean snow and the homey smell of burning wood. She felt at home there in his arms. Felt no reluctance to lift her arms up as he pulled off her shirt. There was a naturalness about what they did, a rightness. She belonged to him, there was no doubt about that, but she wondered if he felt that way, too. Wondered if he could ever belong to anyone but himself… Wondered if they'd even have enough time left to figure that out…

She dug her slender but strong fingers into his broad shoulders and searched for his lips. Needy. Desperate. Scared. Still scared. His hands wandered lower, lifting her on his lap, so she wrapped her legs around his waist, as he made her lie down again. In that short time her heart had doubled its pace. He was the only one who could make her feel this way and yet it was different today. It wasn't enough. She was still tethered to reality, bound to earth by ribbons of fear that kept her from drifting off to where she wanted to be. Needed to be. It felt good, but not good enough. Not even the way his fingers wandered over the cups of her bra, not even the hot trace his lips left as they wandered from her heaving chest down her smooth belly, sufficed to cut the ties to the here and now, wrapping around her like vines – relentless, choking restraints.

She looked at the top of his head, watched the caution, the gentleness with which he devoted himself to her body, only because she had asked him to; watched his attempts at taking away her fear or at least making her forget about it; watched him fail.

His hands wandered across her thighs, making her shiver and yet the sensation seemed to be restricted to the immediate place of contact and didn't have that skyrocketing, sense-heightening and yet dazing impact on her brain. Maybe that was because there was still the fabric of her pants between his fingertips and her skin, although she doubted so…

It were the pictures. She could see them so clearly. Every time she looked at him, she saw him in that cloak again. The groans of pleasure, she perceived turned into sounds of agony. His old wounds ripped open in front of her helpless eyes. She could see him stand there in Konoha, on the great place in front of the Hokage building with Madara right next to him. Half the village surrounding them and the other half lying in pools of blood to their feet. There was so much damage, so much violence. It looked like hell, the purgatory or any other place with such a strong connotation that the mere mentioning of its name could conjure up visions of pain and agony that don't seem to have a referent in the real world. They were attacking him from all sides and he fought back and people vanished in a scarlet mist that was clinging to his skin as well, burning and blistering it like acid, trying to draw him into its very core. And people thought black was the colour of death… There was no sign of the elders, just their pawns and he was a pawn as well, Madara's pawn in this deadly game of chess. While he was attacking and being attacked, Madara just stood there, like a silent witness, invisible to everyone else, a manifestation of the megalomania, the hatred of Sasuke's own mind, and Madara shamelessly made use of that. It was his crusade against his former home, the place that banished him, but Sasuke was the one executing it for him. It was him against thousands of people. Thousands! And that jerk actually thought he could get out of there alive. How could someone who was usually praised as a genius, someone who was feared all over the country for his strength and his cold calculation, be such an incredible, self-conceited idiot?

"Sayuri…?"

"Huh?" She asked blurrily and lifted her head.

"What's the matter?" Sasuke asked and put her pants, he must have just taken off, to the side, before he braced his hands on either side of her shoulders, pinning her down with his piercing gaze.

"Nothing." She sank back down on the hard mattress and tapped her small hand against one of his muscular arms. "Just keep going."

"It isn't really encouraging to see you cry while we're trying to have sex." Sasuke murmured and brushed a hand across her wet cheek, while Sayuri's eyes widened slightly, since she hadn't even realized that she was crying and guess whose fault that was…

"I'm truly sorry to bother you." She groused and wiped her hands over her face, but that didn't really help, since she couldn't stop these tears from flowing, so she gazed to the side then. "Just look away then or I could put a bag over my head if that makes it easier for you."

"Sayuri…" He sighed and pushed her face back up to face him and that stern, critical look in his narrowed eyes. "You're being irrational-"

"So what?" She interrupted him. "I'm sick of making sense. I'm _pregnant_. What excuse do you have for acting like an ass?"

He hadn't expected that. She could clearly see it in his face, in his usually so well composed features. He obviously didn't know what to say now, didn't know how to feel about her words, if he should be offended now or merely amused.

"Look, if you don't want to sleep with me then just leave it." She snapped at him and closed her eyes, hoping to stop the tears this way, but it didn't really work. However then her eyes popped open again, as Sasuke rolled off her and lay down next to her, his face directed towards the ceiling.

She couldn't believe he seriously decided to leave it. She hadn't meant it like that; she wanted him to carry on, just why had she said that? She wouldn't have thought he'd decide like that. Had he really only slept with her, because she had asked him to and not because he wanted it himself? Had he only acquiesced in doing it, so it would be less bothersome to deal with her and her irrational behaviour?

A constricting feeling crawled through her, a breathlessness, a dizziness that was made even worse by her tear-stained vision. It took her a couple of seconds to figure out it was rejection.

"Fine…" She gnashed her teeth and sat up, groping for her clothes that were scattered all across the bed. Without casting a single look at the dark-haired man, lying at the side of the bed that was closer to the door, she put on her pants and her shirt, before she took a deep breath and then meant to climb over his legs. Once her first, still bare foot reached the cold, dusty ground, Sasuke reached for her arm though, keeping her from leaving the bed.

"Where are you going?" He sat up and tugged at her arm lightly, but she determinedly refused to look at him.

"Get me back to my room." She snarled, trying to keep every bit of shakiness out of her voice.

"I don't think so." He shook his head and now skipped the 'lightly' part and pulled her onto his chest, before he turned her over, using his own body to block her way.

"Then you get out!" She stemmed her hands against his chest, but he wouldn't budge.

"You want to throw me out of my own room?" He raised an eyebrow and stared into her angry features.

"What do I care… as long as you get out of this bed." She hissed, while Sasuke closed his eyes.

"What are you gonna do about it?" He opened his eyes again and she saw a challenging look in them.

"If I wanted to I could chew your ear off until you lose your will to live…"

"And that after you only just wailed about losing me…" He smirked sardonically, while his comment caused Sayuri's blood to boil all the more.

"This isn't funny…" She sulked and glared at him, which caused the tears to stream in a narrow runlet down towards her ears and she still couldn't keep her eyes from leaking.

"Isn't it?" He raised an eyebrow mockingly, before he leaned down and trailed his nose along the side of her cheek, his hair tickling her face. "I think it's pretty funny." He murmured in a low, seductive voice, which caused her to gulp and moisten her dry lips uneasily, especially as his lips brushed her earlobe, but after the first second of surprise she saw this as her chance. She wrapped her legs around his and pushed her weight against one of his arms to unbalance him and then tried to roll him over and it actually worked. Two seconds later she was lying on top of him and quickly moved her hands to his wrists, pinning them down above his head.

"This bed is too small for three."

"Hn… you barely count as half a person." He smirked and she noticed how that little change in his mimic, that smirk – the closest he ever got to a smile – managed to shake her angry façade a little, which wasn't good at all. She wanted to be angry, it was the best way to distract herself at the moment.

"I mean it…" She tightened her grip on his wrists as she felt him move, but he hadn't protested yet; she wouldn't have a chance if he did. "I don't want you anywhere near me."

An amused sound escaped his lips, before he rolled her over now, holding her down the same way she had done before and there was still that smirk on his lips. "Didn't look like that five minutes ago."

"Pfft…" She snorted and wriggled in his grasp, but this time he didn't let her. His hands remained firmly locked around her wrists, too tight for her to move, but not tight enough to hurt her, his knees clamped around her legs, keeping them together and her from moving up. And then his eyes… She couldn't stand looking into them right now, couldn't stand that piercing look right now, just the thought of him looking into her head, seeing all the things she was seeing… couldn't help but seeing, no matter how hard she tried.

"Let go…" She whimpered and squeezed her eyes shut, before she gasped sharply as a tremor ran through her body. Sasuke's eyes widened a little and he at once released her hands and lifted his weight off her, watching with a shocked face how she rolled on her side and drew her knees up while tightly wrapping her arms around her stomach.

"Sayuri, what's the matter?" He asked in an alarmed tone and sat up, not really knowing what to do. He placed a hand on her shoulder and used the other one to push her face up, but she only pressed her forehead to her knees, while a small whimper escaped her throat. Her whole body tensed, her breathing came heavier and now Sasuke gathered her up against him, ready to carry her out the second she wanted him to, or he thought it necessary, which was actually the case already.

"You want me to bring you to Karin?" There was a concerned tone in his voice and now she finally lifted her head a little, so he could see her pain-contorted features.

"Sa-suke…?" She murmured in a frail voice, causing the Uchiha to lean down a little so he could hear her better, but she took a long pause.

"What is it?" He asked after a couple of seconds and placed a hand on her cheek, which felt hot to the touch.

"I was just kidding." She sat up now and could no longer suppress the grin that so persistently tried to invade her face from the very first second of her little act. She was really proud of herself for having made it this long and then someone should come and tell her again she was a bad actress.

"What…?" The concerned look yielded to a confused one, which was then again replaced by an angry one, as he realized what she meant.

"This is nothing to joke about." He hissed and narrowed his eyes, as he watched the violet-haired girl chuckle, amusing herself at his expenses.

"Really? I thought it was pretty funny…" She grinned like a Cheshire cat and then pointed at the Uchiha. "You should have seen your face."

"Tze." He shook his head incredulously, before he sank down into the pillows again and closed his eyes.

She watched him for quite some time, watched his at first sight relaxed featured, but a closer look told her that they were anything but calm. She must have upset him more than she would have imagined.

This whole thing really was important to him. Having a family again meant probably more to him than it did to her. She grew up never knowing where she came from, without the possibility to miss someone, whereas he did. His pain led back to the fact that he's had all these things. He's had a family, a home, he knew this kind of life, which is why he longed for it so badly. He really wanted this baby. He wanted to be a father. And apparently he wanted her as well – he wanted her to be the mother in any case. That wasn't quite the same but it was something. And it really has been a crude joke.

"You were scared, weren't you?" She asked in a hesitant tone and moved a finger over the contours of his loosely balled hand, while he opened his charcoal eyes again and met Sayuri's blue ones.

"What do you think?" He hissed bitterly and merely the look on his face was answer enough, so she lowered her head and merely gazed at his hand, ashamed.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I was just… being irrational, you know…?" She smiled bleakly and slipped her hand into the hollow between his slightly bent fingers. "The situation is scary enough, there's no need to make it worse." He didn't respond other than curling his fingers around hers, giving her comfort with this simple gesture.

"Only because you go to Konoha tomorrow doesn't mean you'll attack it right away, right? There's still time, isn't there?"

"Depends." He sighed and drew her gaze back to him, but his eyes remained glued to the ceiling. "We'll attack once we see an opportunity. That might be in a week or it might be tomorrow already."

Tomorrow… She could already see herself sit there in a cell and imagine what was happening to him, happening to the others. Starting up at every sound, waiting for any news. She'd go crazy there. How could she possibly cope with the waiting time? How could she not lose her head in these hours, maybe even days of insecurity? How could she not break down, when regardless of the outcome, it would mean a huge loss to her?

"Can I ask you another favour?" Sayuri asked in a subdued voice and now drew Sasuke's dark eyes back to her.

"A favour? Do you really think you are in any position to ask for favours now?" He lifted his upper body, to have a better look at her and raised an eyebrow, until he saw her nod lightly, causing him to sigh wearily. "What is it then?"

"Okay." She nodded, as if to encourage herself and then put his hand that was still holding hers on her knees, using her free hand to stroke it, mainly to soothe herself, though and not him. "Once the elders are dead, you don't have any more business in Konoha right? So please, promise me you won't kill anyone else."

He regarded her for quite some time, thinking about her request and his response to it. "I won't kill anyone else, unless it can't be avoided…"

"That says practically nothing." She tried to keep her voice calm and steady and stroked his hand faster, her rash movements betraying her composed manner.

"It's all I can tell you to that matter." He said in a decisive tone that told her this conversation was over.

"And there is also another thing." She murmured and watched him expectantly, waiting for a sign to carry on and the way he furrowed his brows a bit later, was enough for her then. "Promise you won't let Madara get Naruto."

"Don't you think Naruto can look after himself?"

"I don't know… I'm scared of Madara."

"There's no need to, as long as you're with me."

"Hmm…" She switched her eyes away, but not quickly enough to conceal her doubts about his words.

"What?" Sasuke asked and gave her hand a little squeeze, which caused her to look down at it, again wondering if she should maybe tell him about what Madara had done, all the things he had said to her…

"I don't trust him…" She murmured uneasily and met Sasuke's eyes again. "…and you shouldn't either…"

"I don't." He shrugged simply.

"Then what are you doing here?" She wailed, no longer able to hide her anxiety. He didn't trust him either – that meant one potential enemy more! He wasn't acting out of conviction but stubbornness. Things were getting worse and worse and yet that didn't seem to affect his optimism. His incomprehensible optimism…

"We've had that already." He sighed in annoyance, but much to his dismay, Sayuri wasn't ready to drop the matter yet.

"There has to be another way. A safer way. One that has a chance of ending well…"

"It will end well." He rolled his eyes. "You just have to trust me."

"No…" She shook her head desperately and tightened her hold on his hand, needing more of the comfort they could give her. "Don't you see it? It will never be okay. It can't. Things will never be the same."

"They won't, but that doesn't mean they have to be bad." Sasuke tried to soothe her, but she just kept shaking her head.

He just didn't understand it. He didn't understand that to her it wasn't only about his or her own life or even the life of their baby, but there was just so much more to the situation.

"I don't know how to make you understand it." She bit into her bottom lip and racked her brain about finding the right words to express herself, while Sasuke waited patiently, when all he probably wanted was to sleep and recharge his batteries, in case he should need the energy tomorrow already. But it was hard. She knew what she was feeling and yet everything was too vague and intricate to really put a finger on it, it was just really hard to define, so she tried it by using a comparison.

"You loved your brother, didn't you? But then he killed your family and you started hating him more than anything."

"Konoha isn't your family." He interrupted her in a harsh tone. As it seemed her way of approaching things didn't really strike a chord with him.

"No, but it's my home…" She murmured in a subdued voice and gazed at the spot between his eyes, rather than into them and hoped he wouldn't notice. "You would take my home from me and my friends – I know it's not the same, but it's all I've ever had and you would take that from me. I don't think I could hate you though. Hate is a strong emotion and I don't think I would feel strongly enough for you then to invest my energy in hating you… I'll lose you. The second you set foot in Konoha, I'll lose you. Even if you won't die, you'll never be the same, never this person… I can't bear the thought of seeing these hands stained with the blood of our friends…" She lifted his hand and kissed it, before she put it down again and watched it with a saddened expression, already preparing herself for the hardest part, something that had occupied her in all this time she's been alone here, thinking he was already gone, already marching straight into death. "But all of this doesn't matter because you've made your decision – you don't give a damn about what I feel. You always put yourself first, that's just how it is, and you've chosen your path, but I can't follow you on that."

"So you want to leave me?" He hissed, but she looked down and shook her head.

"I couldn't…" She said in a quavering voice. "We're having a baby. It deserves to have a whole family."

"_Whole_? What would be whole about that?" He asked bitterly and sat up now, looking directly into Sayuri's face, so she couldn't avoid his eyes.

"Nothing… but it would take some time for it to notice so, don't you think?" She looked openly into his narrowed eyes, abandoning all her defences to make him see what she failed to put into words.

"I don't want things to be this way either. I want you to stay the same, but if you'll go, then…" She sucked in her bottom lip and gazed to the side, lacking the strength to repeat what she had just said and it was all there was to be said. At least on her part. She waited some time for Sasuke's response, until she realized it wouldn't come. He just sat there right next to her, staring at their hands the same way she had done, and it was him now, who was holding on to her, making sure she wouldn't pull her hand away and vanish, like she had feared he would do, once she'd let go…

She lay down then and curled up against him, holding his hand right under her chin, like it was a security blanket, providing her with comfort. Sasuke turned his head around to her and brushed a hand across her cheek, making her look at him again.

"Don't you wish you could go back to a time when you hadn't lost anything?" He asked in a quiet voice and there was this look on his face… apparently he had done it like her and decided to abandon a part of his defences, only a little part and yet she at once saw the difference, saw a hint of insecurity, of hurt, a wish for support, and tried to tell from the little alteration the actual size of what he was trying to keep hidden.

"But you can't." She turned on her back so she could face him directly. "You can't just turn back time. Nothing you can do will bring them back, Sasuke, so instead of mourning their losses, you should make sure you won't lose your second family as well." She said in an urgent tone and watched the vacant expression on his face.

She knew the conflict he was in. Knew that she was only making it harder for him. Knew that he needed her support, but she just couldn't. Only because she had realized that she couldn't make him stop, didn't mean she'd support him now. What sense would that make? She still didn't want him to do that, still hoped he'd just say okay now and flee this hideout with her, but of course he wouldn't. Instead he stared holes into the wall, while his hand had become limp like a dead fish and she finally let go of it now, which at once drew his attention towards her.

"I'd give you the choice." She sighed, while a bitter look appeared on her face, but wasn't strong enough to hide the overwhelming sadness. "I could ask you to decide between your plans and me, but I know how you'd choose, so there's no point. You will leave and I'll have to let you…" Her voice had been invaded by despair and she had to close her eyes and summon her last bit of will power to get the last thing out. "But I just don't know how… so just go."

…

…

It was really early in the morning, still an hour before sunrise. Probably the calmest time of day. Shortly after the nocturnal animals draw back, but still before the first birds rise and greet the new morning with their chanting and long before people would rise. Usually. Roused by nightmares a blonde shinobi posed an exception to that rule.

He's never had so many nightmares in his whole life. They disturbed his sleep at least three or four times each night, and yet he could never quite remember what they had been about once he woke up. Nevertheless they left him with a bad feeling. A sense of foreboding. Just something that made it almost impossible for him to fall asleep again, but he had to. He needed all his strength, needed to be wide awake, so he could be useful, so he wouldn't miss anything, although he was the only member of their team, who actually didn't have anything to do with the whole tracking business. And then they were taking far too many breaks anyway, so exhaustion wasn't exactly a danger.

He had repeatedly asked Neji to shorten the time they took a rest, but the Hyuga wouldn't hear of it. He had explained how they needed to be in possession of all their faculties, to make sure they wouldn't miss anything and now that they didn't have the food pills any longer and had no medic-nin with them either, they needed to pay far more attention to their physical condition.

At the beginning he had still protested a lot and all that, just so he could give vent to his frustration a little, but after some time he had realized that he wasn't the only one who felt that way. That there was another person who had problems to fall asleep and was plagued by self-reproaches and that was Neji himself. His team leader was worried too, but for a slightly different reason.

Whereas he was worried about what Sasuke might do and that he might not come back to the Leaf Village, the Hyuga was worried about Sayuri. Unlike him he didn't believe that she was safe with Sasuke. From how grim he always looked when they talked about her, you could think that she was already dead, and he probably really believed that, especially since it has been such a long time…

The last time they had seen them was two weeks ago now. Two weeks without a sign of life. They were following Shino's trace, whereas Kiba's nose had turned out to be of very little use to them, which bothered him far more than it bothered them. He just didn't understand how they could have just vanished and then laid back such a long distance without leaving behind any traces and although that was rather unfavourable to them, none of them could help but admire their performance.

They still didn't know exactly where they were heading to, but figured they were going into the direction of the Land of Waves or the Land of Water maybe. Definitely somewhere south-east from where they were at the moment, which would be the Land of Sound. Actually they've had quite some qualms about passing through it. In spite of Orochimaru's death, it was still inhabited by many of his former followers and those didn't react too well when they saw headbands with a leaf symbol on them, which is why they had removed them for the time being.

They were pretty close to the Fire Country and Neji had proposed to do a slight detour so they could report to Konoha and get support. However that detour would take them about half a day and then they'd get to know what really happened with Sasuke, which is why he had vehemently tried to make his team-mates forget about this stupid idea, but it was still open for discussion and as it seemed the majority was for it…

With his arms folded under his head Naruto lay in his bed, telling himself the smell of wet dog wouldn't bother him. They had found an abandoned house/ruin in an equally empty village that had already lost most of its buildings to the vagaries of bad weather and apparently a conflagration, which must have seized the whole area maybe a year or two ago. Nevertheless some of the houses were still in possession of their four walls and roof and had withstood the blaze for the most part, mainly some of the few stone houses here, one of which they had chosen as their abode for the night.

He was sharing a room with Kiba and Akamaru, a former children's room with a bunk bed and still many old toys lying around and a funny wallpaper – although the fact that most of it was burned, rather made it look creepy. He had the upper bed, which was about on the height of his shoulder when he was standing, so really not high and Akamaru was lying on the remnants of a couch right next to it and every time he moved a little in his sleep, the Uzumaki was hit by a nasty whiff of wet fur – number five or six on his list of the worst smells ever. He was only a hundred percent sure about number one, which would be skunk odour…

His deep blue eyes were constantly drawn to the single window of this room, whose glass was blackened with soot and night, so he couldn't really see anything, but nevertheless his mind produced images of what it looked like outside, spun together out of his memories and his knowledge of what darkness could do to colours, shapes et cetera.

Not long now and the first rays of sunlight would disturb his imagery of a typical night, not long and they'd all rise – far too little time for him to come up with something to keep them from going to Konoha. It seemed to take merely minutes as the first sounds disturbed the quiet, which had held the house in an iron grip throughout the night and then their door was already opened and Neji rushed them to get up.

Ten minutes later, right as the first sunbeams broke through some scattered breaches in the thick cloud cover and painted the eastern mountains in a pale glow, they had gathered right outside the blackened ruins of the village, letting the still fresh but far too humid morning air drive the remnants of sleep from their consciousness.

"So what's the plan now?" Kiba asked, once he had stretched himself to loosen his muscles and now gazed from Neji to Naruto, who were in a constant conflict, concerning their opinion on what to do.

"Hmm…" Naruto grumbled and gazed to the side, away from Neji.

He really didn't have anything against him personally and he knew that he was only acting the way he was, because he was the team-leader and therewith responsible for all of them – not to forget the success of their mission… And most importantly he knew that the Hyuga was worried himself. Whereas he regarded Sayuri as a sister, Neji's feelings were of a totally different kind. Or at least they used to be, but even if that wasn't the case any more, he still saw her with different eyes than any of them and the fact that she was now gone with Sasuke unsettled him just all the more.

He even had a feeling that Neji wanted to denounce Sasuke, just to get his rival out of the way. It wasn't a secret that they couldn't stand each other and he was even sure that Sasuke would have acted the same way, when he had been in Neji's position, but that's what they were there for. They were there to make sure that all decisions would be made in the interest of the team and not that of individuals. In a way he felt sorry for Neji, but nevertheless they clashed with each other more often than usually and the divergence in their opinion made it hard to stay on friendly terms.

"We'll set out immediately. If Shino's estimations are accurate, we're still far away from their whereabouts, so we have no time to lose." The Hyuga stated the obvious, leaving out the contentious point, which his team didn't fail to notice. No one said anything though, most likely waiting for Naruto to open his mouth as he usually did, but the Uzumaki was determined to stay calm for the time being. They all knew his attitude towards the issue anyway, so there was no point to remind them yet again.

"Well… but what about… you know, going to Konoha and so on…?" Kiba asked, while he eyed the blonde shinobi sceptically, not so sure what to make of his more or less unprecedented silence.

"Hn." The Hyuga exhaled sharply, before he explained in a calm tone. "If we follow the direct route Shino calculated, we'll cross one of Konoha's outposts. We can make our report there, so there won't be any delay. Is that okay with you, Naruto?"

If it wasn't for the sharp tone in Neji's voice, you could be tempted to think that it was a considerate question of him, but they all knew it wasn't. The tension between the two peers was clearly palpable and those occasional remarks, the exaggerated politeness in combination with a look on their faces that didn't seem to fit to that and then of course the rather heated exchange of opinions from time to time, made it impossible to miss that.

"You know exactly that it isn't, so what's the point of asking?" Naruto growled and balled his fists. It was far too early for this kind of confrontation, but what should he do when he was being provoked?

"Easy now, Naruto." Kiba sighed, annoyed by their permanent quarrel and more importantly the fact that he always ended up as the one who had to mediate between them, since Shino rather looked the other way and stayed out of everything. Just because he was the one who was doing all the work at the moment (or more precisely his insects did), made him think that he was above doing such things as playing the kindergartener for the two of them, which is why it was all his pleasure.

"How am I supposed to be calm, when he acts like a backstabber?" The blonde asked and glared at the Hyuga, whose face didn't reflect any cognisance of the fact that he has just been insulted.

"This is no way to talk among comrades." Shino said in a low, detached voice and at once drew all eyes to him. "You have a tendency to lose sight of what is most important: the success of the mission and the well-being of the team. We need to find Sasuke and save Sayuri and that as fast as possible, but you are already a step ahead." He turned his head into Naruto's direction. "You already worry about what will happen once we bring Sasuke back and tend to forget that we'll first have to find him and most likely make him."

"Hmm…" Naruto looked down unhappily, waiting for Shino to give Neji his part of the sermon as well, but he wouldn't, which kind of bugged him a little – like he was the only one who behaved a little inappropriately… Where was the fairness?

Without any further discussion and without any lift in the mood either, they set off then, going fast, but not as fast as they could. Their old injuries barely affected their movements, but still they moved with a throttled speed, moving like they were one. One annoyingly slow moving individual.

It wasn't even noon, which meant they had barely travelled for six or seven hours, when they came across a small village, already in the Land of Fire, so safe territory and Neji proposed to take their first break and didn't exactly meet approval.

"But we only just set out … we'd get ahead much faster when we wouldn't take so many breaks." Kiba said the very thing which Naruto had tried to bite back, ever since Neji had pretty clearly told him his opinion towards the topic, but as it seemed the Inuzuka had missed that.

"That's out of the question. We don't have the pills anymore and we haven't completely recovered either, so it's left to us to look after ourselves and we can't afford to be inattentive…" Neji's voice trailed off, as he thought back to the day they had finally found the Uchiha. "Remember the last time we've been careless and have at once been captured by Danzô's men?"

"That was you." The Inuzuka clarified, not wanting to be mentioned in the same breath as them, since to him being captured the way they had explained was kind of embarrassing. "Now I am here. My nose will detect anyone close to us, so no need for exaggerated safety measures."

Actually Naruto wanted to call his team-mate down after the first part of his self-celebratory speech, but then he kept the essential point in mind which would be skipping this useless break, which was definitely in his interest.

"We still have a long way to go today and we are running out of supplies, so we should use this chance to refresh our stocks." Neji explained rationally, but then the composed expression on his face gave way to a sceptical frown as Kiba came to an abrupt stop all of a sudden.

"What's the matter?" Naruto asked, once he noticed as well that his team-mate had stopped moving, but he wouldn't answer. He just stood there with his nose in the air, almost the same way as his huge white dog, and sniffed noisily.

"Danzô's men?" The blonde raised an eyebrow, before he moved his eyes from side to side, just waiting for anyone to jump out of the next bush any second now. As it seemed he wasn't the only one. Neji had also activated his Byakugan and scanned the area, but since he didn't shout any warnings, he probably hadn't detected anyone nearby.

"It's them." Kiba finally enlightened them with an excited and yet grave tone in his voice, but his explanation rather caused further confusion. "Their scent just appeared out of nowhere – twenty minutes if we hurry!"

"Just what are you talking about? Who?" Naruto asked in a high-pitched tone and watched how Kiba leaped on Akamaru's back, ready to take off, whereas his team-mates were still rooted to the spot, lacking the piece of information to know what to make of his behaviour.

"Sasuke of course! Now get going, before we'll lose him again!" The Inuzuka exclaimed and had to grin self-complacently, as he saw the shocked expressions on his comrades' faces. "Now you're glad to have me with you, right?"

"Are you serious?" The blonde asked sceptically, barely able to believe the first good news they had gotten in the past week.

"Do I speak gibberish? Sasuke is there, only twenty minutes away, so what are you waiting for?" He asked, but in that second grim determination invaded everyone's faces, as the meaning of his words finally dawned on them.

"What about Sayuri?" Neji asked, his voice perfectly mirroring his scepticism.

"I don't know. I don't have a sample of her scent, but he's definitely not alone."

"I bet she's with him!" Now the excitement finally rubbed off on Naruto as well and first thing he did was pull his leaf-headband out of his backpack and tie it around his head – his forehead had felt terribly naked without it. "Then lead the way Kiba!"

"You got it!" The Inuzuka smirked, before he and his dog turned back to the direction they had come from, but as he just wanted to lead the way Neji held him back.

"Wait." Kiba froze in his movement and looked over his shoulder at his team-leader, whose attention was focused on the Aburame though. "What do you say Shino?"

"Hm…" He emitted a musing sound, while now all eyes were fixed on him, everyone's nerves were stretched to the breaking point as they waited for his response. "Nothing changed about my source. My insects are still drawn to the east."

"But why would Kiba smell him then?" Naruto moaned impatiently and threw anticipating glances into the direction Kiba had pointed into.

"It could be a trap."

"Or it could be them!" Naruto countered at once, while the Hyuga looked rather sceptical still.

Even if it should be them, he would have much rather sent news to Konoha before encountering them, just in case something should happen to them and he still had some doubts about Kiba's sudden discovery. He picked up their scents right where they came from, so why now that they were a good distance away already? And why so sudden anyway? They couldn't just appear out of thin air, it was far too incredible, so he'd much rather go with Shino's trace and first head to Konoha and then to wherever he would lead them – at best with another medic-nin or some further support… But it would be quite hard to get Naruto and Kiba to do as he wanted, especially without losing hours with discussing over the whole matter, but then he was the team-leader still, so in the end his opinion was the one that counted. So it was up to him to make up his mind about what to do now…

…

…


	36. Broken promises

**36.**** Broken promises**

The last day had swamped the land with a deluge of rain. So much in fact that the beforehand dry ground had problems with soaking up all the water. The result was a sheer endless puddle, swallowing up a lot of feet and ankles in its turbid liquid. Everything seemed at least three or four shades darker; the clouds, the trees, the houses, the ground – like the water had already been dirty as it poured out of the overcast sky that had draped itself in black and grey, as if dressed for a funeral.

All cardinal directions must have been reduced to north, since it was clearly day and yet the sun was nowhere to be seen, not even a hint of it. The clouds looked all wrong. Heavy and black. Like a negative picture of the fluffy white cotton balls that had dabbed the sky in the past weeks. The early advent of summer had spoiled everyone with a plethora of warmth and sunlight. Had invited the people to go out into the parks, seek refreshment at the seas, watch scoops of ice-cream melt on the hot pavement – those kinds of things.

The late downpour however had brought down the temperatures to a slight extent, but it was nevertheless rather warm still, although the seas and rivers sure wouldn't see any visitors this day or the following ones. But then why should one seek out these places, when the whole Leaf Village had turned into one huge water park?

The fields and plants clearly benefited from the rain, whereas the people would have much rather done without it… When only two days ago, the streets had been full of people at this time of day, they were practically swept clean of just about everything now. Except for mud that is.

Various shades of grey and brown were clearly dominating the scenery, but amidst all this dreariness, a bright pink spot of colour drifted through the lifeless alleys. A flower petal carried by the howling wind.

It was about nine o'clock in the morning, usually a busy time, especially since it wasn't even weekend yet, so the fact that everything seemed deserted today, made Sakura almost feel like she was the last person on earth. It would fit. Everything looked glum enough; especially the dark, almost black clouds looked really threatening. Like the sky had burned all night and was now nothing but a celestial field of ashes. Not a night-time black. There was nothing of that gentleness that made the firmament look like sable velvet, so soft that you wanted to dive into it and wrap yourself in the silky blanket and fall asleep right there. It was just menacing, the way the clouds billowed as far as the eye could see, looking far more massive than anything there was in this village, so what was there to brave the storm that was sure to go for a rerun any moment now?

Pushed by the strong wind, that howled through the narrow alleyways between the houses, Sakura hastened towards the western part of the village, a good distance away from where she lived, which might explain why her boots and legs were by now sprinkled with brown polka-dots. Too different in size, shape and distance though, to mistake them for tights. It's not like she cared though, after all who was there to see it? Most of her friends were somewhere else at the moment, since such a long time already that she wasn't even sure any longer, if she wanted to be in their place…

At the beginning she had wanted so. Had even felt offended, as she hadn't been allowed to join the team that was supposed to search Sasuke, but they were gone for so long now… And then they had lost their connection to them and she had quite a bad feeling about that. A presentiment. She really hoped they'd hear of them soon. She didn't even care if it were bad news or good ones, just as long as it was something. For all they knew, they could have dropped off the face of the earth, so a sign of life was long due. Nevertheless it would be clearly welcome if this sign of life was linked with some good news.

She really hoped they'd bring him back. She wasn't even sure why she wanted that so badly. In the last year she had only exchanged about enough words with him, to fill the first page of a book. And not a huge encyclopaedia with ant-sized letters, but a simple pocketbook, with a chapter title that consumed half the page.

She had only seen him, when they had been on missions together, which hadn't exactly happened too often, or when he had been in hospital and she had treated him, which had happened a little more often. Nevertheless they had barely talked then. Things weren't like they used to be. The fact that she's had feelings, strong feelings, for him and especially that he knew of that, made it hard to deal with him now. She didn't really feel about him that way any longer, although she wasn't indifferent about him either. Wasn't really over him and probably never would be. The fact that he's been her first love would always save him a place in her mind (in her heart?), even though this place was irreversibly connected to the pain and disappointment she had suffered because of him. She didn't really cherish him as a person any longer, but the memories of the feelings she's had for him, back in her childhood, long before things had gotten complicated and hopeless, before she had been hit by the full force of broken heartedness. She has never again felt for anyone the way she had for him, but then that person maybe hadn't shown up yet. At least she now knew who wasn't the one…

So, although she didn't really have any romantic interest in the Uchiha any longer, he was still a ninja of their village, a part of their old team and in a way a friend, a cruel friend, maybe, but still a friend. That made it only natural that she wanted him to come back, didn't it?

Against expectation, she didn't look like she had just stepped out of the shower, when she entered the building complex, containing Konoha's various laboratories. In spite of how heavy the clouds looked, they hadn't burst yet and unleashed their load on the land and she was more than just glad about that. She walked across the small yard that barely deserved that title and then into the building, heading straight for Morgue 3, where Shizune, one of her mentors, was busy with dissecting the body, Fukasaku had brought with him. The one Jiraiya managed to kill, before he was killed then himself.

She quietly pushed the door open and entered the spacious laboratory. The floor was covered with a dark-grey linoleum and on her left-hand side there were various, semi-transparent screens in that typical hospital-green that looked so overly artificial and somehow repulsive. It just stung in the eye, which is why Sakura had often wondered why they put it in a hospital of all places, since the people there surely didn't need anything that would torture their eyes, to top it all.

She squeezed herself through a gap between two of the numerous screens and caught sight of Shizune, who was leaning over a brightly polished dissecting table, with her back turned to the pink-haired kunoichi. She was just about to walk up to her, when she reconsidered that again. She knew that people tended to be a little jumpy when they were alone in a room with a corpse, regardless of the time of day, but in these windowless rooms it was easy to lose track of that anyway.

"Shizune-san?" She called out and just as expected, she saw the dark-haired woman flinch in surprise, before she looked over her shoulder and heaved a relieved sigh.

"Oh, it's you…" She gifted her with a smile and turned back around, as Sakura lined up beside her, her emerald eyes practically glued to the body in front of her. It was a tall man in his late-twenties or early-thirties, with long orange hair and greyish-purple eyes with a ripple-like pattern that were doomed to stare into nothingness forever. His lower body was covered by a blanket, but his face, his arms, his torso were littered with wounds, all perfectly circular and then there was a sort of whirl-like imprint in the middle of his belly that left no doubt about the attack used on him.

"Can I lend you a hand?" Sakura asked and glanced at the other woman, who had her hair tied back in a practical ponytail and was wearing a beige gown with a broad white collar – the typical uniform of Konoha's medic-nin.

"Oh, well… yes. Over there are the studs I removed from his body." She pointed at a white box, containing various black rods of different sizes. "Please take samples of them and bring them to Laboratory 2. That should do for the moment."

"Understood." Sakura nodded and watched how Shizune concentrated on her own work again, so she took the box and went back into the main part of the room, right to one of the counters that were lining the whole wall across from the screens. Only with a sharp chisel, Sakura began scratching at the rods and gathered the fine powder she obtained that way in round glass moulds, all neatly tagged of course.

It took her about two hours to finish her unnervingly meticulous task and after informing Shizune about it, she took the results of her work to the laboratory, where they would be processed by the most skilled lab technicians there were in the Leaf Village.

Once again she was surprised to find that the sky had still resisted gravity and kept its contents to itself, but the clouds seemed even lower now and she wondered if she could feel them when she reached her hand up. But before she'd run the risk of poking a hole into them and causing them to leak after all, she rather left it.

She was just on her way across the yard, back to Morgue 3, when she ran into a brown haired man, dressed in the standard uniform of Konoha-Gakure.

"Sakura-san." He greeted her politely and inclined his head a little, tapping his chin on the huge pile of documents he was carrying.

"Izumo-kun." She smiled and raised a hand to wave at the Chunin. "Tsunade is awake already, huh?"

"Ehe… how can you tell?" He stuck out his tongue sheepishly and moved his arms a bit, to make sure his delivery wouldn't soar down into the mud.

"Female intuition, I guess." Sakura shrugged and grinned at him.

He and Kotetsu were definitely not to be envied. They were Tsunade's minions and always ended up doing all the work no one else wanted to do or she hadn't managed to finish herself. In most cases it were easy tasks, so they were in no danger of overworking themselves, but nevertheless what they had to do was anything but exciting.

"What's the news?" He chatted carelessly, although the look on his face was rather strained, the way his eyes always rolled down, as if to make sure that the documents were still there in his arms; lily-white except for the ink-black letters.

"Nothing much. I'm helping Shizune at the moment. How about you?"

"Oh well, about the same…" He sighed, but then an excited expression flitted over his face and his dark eyes sparkled suddenly. "Hey, I heard they saw a bigger team somewhere in the woods close by. They'll probably get here in an hour or something."

"Really?" Sakura raised an eyebrow sceptically, not so sure what to make of his excitement, until it finally dawned on her. "Oh! You mean Naruto is finally back?"

"Who knows?" He shrugged. "But everyone is waiting for them already and then Tsunade sent out a team to search them, right? So they should get here soon. It would fit, don't you think?"

"Yes." She nodded eagerly and couldn't keep a smile from invading her face. "I'll go and look for them at once. Thanks for telling me!" Sakura was just about to run off, or well actually she did already, when she came to a sudden stop, as she remembered that Shizune was probably waiting for her.

"Oh. Ehehe… Guess I'll have to wait a bit still. See you later then." She waved goodbye and turned around again, heading back into Shizune's laboratory, although everything inside her was drawing her to the main gate of the village. She was so anxious to see how they were doing. If Sasuke was with them… What if he was really dead? Or they came here to tell everyone he wouldn't return again? Damn. There was probably not a single ninja in the whole village, who had caused as much trouble as the Uchiha, but nevertheless everyone forgave him in the end. More or less. After everything that happened to him, it wasn't so very surprising that he wasn't the easiest person, but he was trying. At least everyone had thought so as he came together with Sayuri. The first time he had voluntarily allowed a person to be close to him. It had seemed like a first step back into society and away from his being as a nuke-nin, but now they had broken up and he was gone again, so who knew what was going on this time?

"I brought the samples to Oyone." Sakura informed Shizune, who was still hidden there behind the nasty, green screens, as she entered the room again.

"Thanks a lot." The pinkette perceived her voice, but instead of going to her senpai, she kept standing with her back to the door and a tense look on her face.

"Is there anything else I can do?" She asked with crossed fingers and squeezed her eyes firmly shut, as she waited for an answer, and it seemed to take minutes before she was finally given one.

"Uhm… actually not. There isn't much to do at the moment. Just take the day off."

"Thanks a lot, Shizune-san!" Sakura called out and felt like hugging her, but before she could even think that thought to an end, she had already rushed out of the room, eager to welcome Naruto and his team personally. Hopefully complete and in one piece.

…

…

Day 14.

Precisely two weeks ago, they had finally found Sasuke.

Fourteen days ago Sayuri had been taken captive by him.

For roughly 336 hours she has been locked up, far away from civilisation.

Three minutes ago they finally left behind the old hideout in exchange for a new one.

As they had told her they'd move to a new base, closer to Konoha, she had pondered a lot about where it would be. Konoha had a map of really many Akatsuki bases and those were under constant surveillance, so it seemed rather unlikely that they were unaware of a hideout in their immediate vicinity. Never would she have imagined to end up here of all places…

It has been a really unpleasant night. After she had given Sasuke an ultimatum, although she had said she wouldn't, they hadn't exchanged a single syllable. Not even today. They had spent half the night lying with their backs to each other, giving the other the cold shoulder. None of them had been able to fall asleep, not after the words they had exchanged, not with the prospect of what might happen the following day – any following day.

They couldn't have fallen asleep all alone, so instead they had ended up sleeping with each other. That seemed to be the only thing they had at the moment. Things weren't quite working that well so they had sex. They had nothing to say to each other, no hope of a shared future, not even a clue if what they felt was sincere or if it was just a mixture of their old feelings and this new, unpredictable situation. A result of despair. Things didn't work on the emotional level, so they sought refuge on a physical level. They had tried to forget about their problems by getting their bodies to release an overdose of endorphins, which actually managed to make them think and feel like they were happy for a couple of minutes.

All that was left of them was a physical attraction and the way they could make each other feel and now she felt bad about it and wondered if he did, too. She hoped he did. The reason why she felt bad was because she thought there just had to be more to them, wanted there to be more to them and that would only work when he wanted the same thing as her.

She had been too bemused, too high on the personal drug of her body, to pick up much of what was going on around her, but after some time he had fallen asleep then, whereas she had staid up the short rest of the night, all the time watching his sleeping features, hating the calm, innocent expression in them. How could a soon-to-be mass murderer have such a handsome, guileless face? He only did in his sleep though. Once he was awake he didn't quite manage to hide his true nature. She still didn't know what exactly that was, but it definitely didn't feature innocence or anything virtuous.

She had brooded a lot about what she had said to him, no longer sure if she had really made the right decision. Fact is, in spite of how much she hated him for what he had done, for what he was about to do, there was some part deep down inside her that knew that she could never truly hate him – otherwise she wouldn't be so scared now. Scared of losing him. He was that special someone. Her first love. The first man in her life. The first person she had ever opened up to. He'd always be special to her, but actually she wanted him to stay a special person in her life and not just a special memory…

And still she had decided against him.

No, actually she had decided for him, just against the decision he had made. She had told herself that he was too important to her to watch him carry on with what he was doing. That she just couldn't bear to watch him throw away everything, including his own life. That was her reason for aligning herself with Konoha. She had said to him that he apparently didn't care enough about his baby, if he didn't put a stop to this, but maybe she was the one who just didn't care enough. He had been right when he told her that Konoha wasn't her family, but he was it. Or he could become it, so shouldn't she stay with him? Regardless of what happened? Even if he should really kill all the people who were dear to her? Even if it meant losing him after all?

Lost in these thoughts and almost paralysed by anxiety, she hadn't realized, how the up to then blind focus of her observation, had woken up and looked back at her, but before she's even had a chance to voice any of the things that had occupied her this far too short night, he had sat up and put on his clothes, without even looking at her. That had made it easier for her then to keep her mouth shut and she had done it like him and gotten dressed and had quickly eaten all the food he had brought her the day before, since she's had no idea how long the journey would take, but in her condition she was sure she'd need all the energy she could get.

He had waited for her to finish and then led her outside, to that huge skeleton, where Karin had already waited and a couple of minutes later Suigetsu had shown up too. The last one had been Madara. After giving some sort of introductory speech, she hadn't even bothered to listen to, the Akatsuki had planted himself right in the middle of them and she didn't know what exactly happened then, but in one second they had still stood there under the giant ribcage of some sort of prehistoric monster and now they were standing on the head of a statue, right next to a huge waterfall.

The Valley of the End.

The place where Sasuke fought against Naruto, right before he had joined Orochimaru.

The border between the Land of Sound and the Land of Fire, where two statues have been built to remind of the battle between Uchiha Madara and Senju Hashirama for control of the village.

That's why his name has been so familiar to her. They were now standing on the very statue that has been erected to remind of his defeat nearly a century ago.

She had no idea how they had gotten here. Definitely a pleasant way of travelling and now they all stood here, under a black sky that looked like it heralded Armageddon. It was probably just a soon-to-be summer storm, a really fierce summer storm, but in view of the situation, it might just as well be a harbinger of the end of the world – the end of _her_ world in any case and still no sign of the sun…

She was standing right on Madara's stony bangs, merely a foot separating her from the abyss. Sasuke was standing next to her, but still almost a metre away; more distant than the depths and the others were gathered around him, so she was a little excluded. She didn't mind though, they weren't talking to her anyway and she couldn't get herself to listen to their conversation either. Her full attention was focused on the edge of the waterfall, right where the broad river seemed to be cut off and just vanished in a pale grey cloud of mist. The water looked like liquid mercury, just a bit darker, but nevertheless rather beautiful. It was really remarkable how the silvery surface managed to reflect the drab, cloud-covered sky in a beauty, it actually didn't possess.

Konoha wasn't really far away. Two hours, maybe three? There was even a falconry stall nearby which was usually manned. If she'd let the current carry her, she'd be there in five to ten minutes; problem was only to get out of the water again at the right moment. Actually she was a good swimmer, but not that good, but nevertheless once she had a slight advance it would be almost impossible for them to catch up to her… They were so engrossed in their conversation, in their scheming, so maybe if she'd jump now, they wouldn't notice right away. Maybe it would give her enough time; ten seconds of surprise should do… But she doubted she could really surprise them, and even if, she was still in a poor shape and pregnant even…

What would the shock of the cold water do to the baby? Would it even do anything to it? As long as her body temperature didn't sink too low it should be fine and five minutes in water shouldn't be able to get her to the point of freezing to death. Or at least she thought so. What if she'd hit the surface at a wrong angle and land right on her belly or what if the impact, the too sudden transition from moderately warm to icy cold would make her lose her consciousness and she would end up drowning? Things were different now, she'd not only endanger her own life but also that of the baby – if she died, she would not only kill herself but also her child, so could she risk that? Could she burden her conscience with a double murder?

All of this referred to a worst case scenario, but nevertheless it made her doubt her idea. It was reckless. Doomed to fail. A sign of madness that she even came up with something this stupid. And yet she couldn't stop looking at the water. Couldn't stop seeing these pictures of her jumping into it. Could feel a rush of adrenaline surge through her body, already preparing her for this irrational act. And she couldn't stop hearing the water call her, coaxing_:_

_I'll take you home_…

She forced herself to turn back to the small group next to her, trying really hard to listen to them, listen to Suigetsu who was talking at the moment.

"Why do you want to wait? We are all here. Konoha is only a stone's throw away… It's a pity though isn't it? I kind of liked Konoha – they have really good food there… but still let's just get this over with right now!"

From the intonation of the answers he received, she could tell that the others didn't agree with him, but she couldn't discern any of the words any longer. The single syllables just merged together and got carried away by the raging current and again her eyes were drawn towards it, wondering if she couldn't see some scraps of conversation float there. Lame excuse, but she just couldn't stay focused on what they were doing and saying and so she stared at the water again.

The darkness made it hard to see much of the waves, so it appeared really smooth and calm and deep. Bottomless. It looked really pretty, almost like a liquid mirror and she wondered if she'd come out in a parallel world, when she would plunge herself into the depths. A world where everything is right – the counterpart to this world. She wondered if Sasuke would jump after her again. Would he again risk his own life in the attempt to save hers? Maybe they could be there at this nicer place together…

"Shut up if you don't have anything to say, and you clearly don't!" She perceived Karin's voice, sounding so muffled in contrast to the crystal clear voice of the water, chanting:

_Let me carry you away from all this…_

"…an outpost… … keep watch on…"

_It's up to you. You can put a stop to all this…_

"… enough… … would assume we are hiding under their noses?"

_It's easy. One quick step. Just one…_

"Guess they do. They are already on our tail."

From one second to the next, the hypnotic spell of the water was broken and she was wide awake again, back in reality. Her attention at once riveted to Karin who was in the focus of everyone's attention right now.

"They come from the south, at this rate they'll be here in twenty minutes." Karin's lids fluttered open again and she at once sought eye contact with Sasuke, who looked anything but pleased about this piece of information.

"Tsk." He gnashed his teeth, obviously angry, before he hissed: "Who?"

"The same like before… Naruto, Neji and Shino and also that Inuzuka…" She shrugged and pressed her lips into a hard line, imitating the look on the Uchiha's face.

"Naruto, huh?" Madara asked, merely sounding curious though, completely unlike the rest of them, although Suigetsu looked kind of amused as well.

"They're such a pest…" Sasuke shook his head in annoyance. "This time I'll take care of them for good…"

"No!" Sayuri objected and at once drew all eyes to her, like they had completely forgotten that she was here as well.

"You promised…" She wailed and shook her head, while she had unconsciously taken a step backwards, so there was no solid ground under her heel any more. She staggered a little and watched Sasuke's deep black eyes widen slightly. First shock, then merely anger, as if he had seen every thought that had run through her head the last minutes, knew exactly what she now regretted not to have done as she's still had the chance to. Before she could even do so much as blink or stretch out her arms to keep her balance or maybe jump after all, the young Uchiha was already standing right in front of her, grabbing her arm roughly, before he pushed her towards the redhead.

"Karin, get her to the hideout and keep an eye on her." He ordered his team-mate, before his entirely blank eyes returned to Sayuri. "Don't even think of doing anything stupid." He gave her a strict look, before he finally released her arm and turned his back to her, making clear that all her pleas and appeals would just bounce off him.

"Excuse me? I can think of a hundred things I'd much rather do than playing her baby sitter." Karin groused and glared at the violet-haired girl, who returned her look in an equal manner.

"You do as I tell you." Sasuke hissed impatiently and glowered at her in a way that even caused Karin's blood to run cold, which didn't fit to her hot temper at all.

"Tze… fine…" She snorted sulkily and grasped Sayuri's elbow. "Let's go then."

"N-no." She shook her head, still with a shocked face. Sasuke met her gaze, but there was nothing apologetic, no trace of regret in the pitch black holes that mirrored his soul and then Karin had already pulled her around, dragging her away from all of them, before she's even had a chance to make them stop.

Sasuke watched how Sayuri was escorted away and once she was out of sight, he turned back to Madara and Suigetsu.

"We need to lead them away, before they get any closer to our hideout." He stated in a blank voice and gazed to the side as the Houzuki cleared his throat.

"Why? We'll kill them anyway, right? So what does it matter where we do so?" He grinned cheekily and rested his arms on the hilt of his huge sword.

"We won't risk anything. The sounds of battle might draw attention towards us and keeping a low profile is essential for our further plans." The Uchiha explained calmly, but as he carried on, his eyes narrowed slightly. "We'll end this as quickly as possible. That means no fooling around."

"Sheesh… how boring." The white haired man rolled his eyes, before he shouldered his sword again and then switched his clear violet eyes from Sasuke to his great-great-great whatever. "How about you?"

"Hn. What could be more entertaining than seeing the Nine-Tailed in action?" Madara chuckled bleakly and Suigetsu grinned as well. Sasuke seemed to be the only one who managed to keep a straight face, but then that wasn't really hard, since he didn't feel like laughing.

He could still see Sayuri's face; the fear, the disappointment in her features. He did promise her not to kill anyone unless it could be avoided, but in this case it clearly couldn't. They were too close to them already, they could spoil everything, so they would have to make sure they wouldn't thwart their plans. Accordingly he hadn't broken his promise, but he knew that she would see that differently. Knew from the look on her face that he had only just lost her.

"Let's go and lead them away then."

…

…

This was more than he could have hoped for. Finally a concrete lead! After they had only followed rough directions in the past weeks they were now finally close to them and Naruto no longer had to fear what would happen if they went to Konoha first. Kiba had explained everything to them, as they had already started moving, although Neji and Shino were still somewhat sceptical. The source of Shino's trace was still unaltered; still somewhat far away in the direction of the Land of Waves, but Kiba was absolutely certain. From one second to the next he had picked up Sasuke's scent and since he's had a sample of it, he sure wasn't mistaken – he was good enough not to make any mistakes and incredible as it sounded, Naruto was still determined to believe him.

The Inuzuka and his huge white dog led them right back on the path they had taken before, the one leading back to Otogakure, but then he took a sudden turn to the left and turned his head around to his team-mates, who were right behind them.

"They started moving."

"They probably noticed us." Neji explained and scanned the area with his Byakugan, but there wasn't a single person in sight. He had decided to give Kiba a chance after all. He had said he was a hundred percent certain and since he had worked often enough with the Inuzuka, he had proper respect for his abilities. And he had also claimed they were close, so going to Konoha wouldn't have worked, which is why they were now chasing them after all, although Shino's insects were still drawn to the east, but then his source was stationary, so a slight detour shouldn't be too critical.

"Then we need to go faster!" Naruto incited them and increased his pace, so he was running right beside Akamaru, which Kiba wasn't willing to put up with.

"Faster, huh?" He smirked and buried his fingers deeper in his dog's thick fur. "Let's show him what we're made of, Akamaru!"

After giving a consenting bark, the white dog darted past the blonde shinobi, who then again tried to overtake him, but didn't quite manage, so he at least tried to keep up with them. Their other two team members weren't this ambitious, but nevertheless they didn't fall behind either.

They had run for roughly ten minutes, as the first drops of rain finally fell out of the leaden sky. Much later then they would have expected, but the quantity made up for that. In practically no time, the already muddy ground turned into one huge mire and if it wasn't for their ability to gather chakra in the soles of their feet, they would have had quite some trouble with getting ahead. There were only few trees, lining the by now entirely submerged road they were taking, so there was no shelter from the pebble-sized drops of rain the sky was hurling down on them.

"They stopped." Kiba informed them after a while, probably the only one of them, who could still speak in a calm, controlled manner without being interrupted by his ragged breathing. "Not far now."

"Hm." Naruto gave an acknowledging sound, saving his breath for the running, but nevertheless the eager smirk on his face left no doubt about his excitement.

"I can see them." Neji said, not even two minutes later, but unlike Naruto he looked nothing but grim. "Sayuri isn't with them."

"What?" Naruto gasped and looked over his shoulder at the Hyuga, who was right behind him, practically glued to his soles. "Are you sure?"

"Hn." He nodded gravely and Naruto was sure that he could see a spark of fury, flicker there under his well-composed mask. He wanted to tell him that that didn't have to mean anything, but he knew how the Hyuga would react then and it definitely wouldn't have a soothing effect on him. Appeasements weren't called for right now, so he'd just keep his mouth shut and wait till they reached them, so they could leave the explanations to them.

"Seems like they are waiting for us, so everyone be careful and prepare for an attack right away." Neji warned his team-mates and kept watching their apparent opponents closely, in case they should prepare a trap, although it wasn't really like them – they rather followed open procedures. A hundred metres now and they still hadn't moved the fragment of an inch and a few seconds later they were already standing in front of them on an open plain, surrounded by various fields that would probably look like brilliant seas of gold in the sun, but since that one was absent, they rather reminded of dried or burnt grass under a charred sky. All the water the heavens spat out hardly distracted from the whole drought and fire imagery.

Their small group came to a stop, still a good distance away from the three men, whose appearance briefly took their breath away. After the initial excitement, although he has been aware from the start that their reunion wouldn't pass off too friendly, Naruto was merely shocked now and couldn't believe his eyes.

There he was. His best friend, dressed in an Akatsuki cloak. Suigetsu stood right next to him, wearing the same cloak as well and if that wasn't enough, there was even a real Akatsuki with them, the one with the swirled orange mask, standing to Sasuke's right, only a little behind him though, but no sign of Sayuri or Karin. If they were anywhere near, Neji would have seen them, but he hadn't, so where were they? All he saw were the three men, arranged like a triangle with Sasuke at its peak, the first pin to fall.

They had joined forces with Akatsuki. Had joined the very organisation that was after him and all other Jinchuuriki and as far as he knew, there weren't many left any longer. He wanted to scream at him, ask him what the hell he was doing, as was most likely expected of him, but he just couldn't get his mouth to produce the necessary sounds; any sounds to be precise.

For the first time now, he was overcome by insecurity. Insecurity about his friend's loyalty. All this time he had told Neji that Sasuke didn't know what he was doing, but then joining up with Akatsuki had to mean he had a plan – even if it was only their plan. And then he had also assured him that Sayuri was safe with him, but where was she then and how come that right now he was seriously worried about her well-being? If Sasuke had sunken so low to actually cooperate with scum like Akatsuki, then he was probably capable of anything… Maybe even hurting (killing?) his former girlfriend, although he still couldn't imagine that, or maybe he just didn't want to…

"Look who we've got here…" Suigetsu grinned and placed a hand on his hip in a casual manner. "You're like quite persistent, huh?"

"Where is Sayuri?" Neji took over the speaking part, as if seeing them in those cloaks didn't surprise him at all. Maybe it really didn't. The Hyuga had about the worst possible opinion of the Uchiha, so it might have actually crossed his mind beforehand that he would end up with them.

Damn, what if he had been right all along and they should have warned Konoha, as they've still had the time to do so? He had no idea what Sasuke was up to, but as it seemed they could have done well with some support. In the past they've had more than enough problems with taking on a single Akatsuki as a whole squad and now it was four against three. Their advantage barely counted…

"You shouldn't concern yourself about her. You'll never get to see her again." Sasuke hissed in a low voice and glared at the Hyuga, who was same as everyone else entirely shocked by Sasuke's cold words.

"What did you do to her?" Neji asked in an unsteady voice, barely able to keep himself from running straight ahead and giving the Uchiha what he long deserved in his opinion.

"That's none of your business." Sasuke said dismissively, before his deep black eyes switched towards Suigetsu, as he sighed dramatically.

"Ah, come on… Don't you want to share the news with them?" The Houzuki asked and there was a mischievous tone in his voice, but his proposal only earned him a sinister glare by the dark-haired man, which was clearly meant to shut him up.

"You kind of enjoy keeping people on tenterhooks, don't you? Well, your thing." Suigetsu shrugged and dropped the matter, much to the dismay of the opposing group, whose interest has clearly been roused by his words.

"What news?" Naruto shrieked, fear for his friend's life managing to finally make him shake off his paralysis. "What's going on anyway?"

Before they even had a chance to answer, two Narutos appeared right behind the small group, with a bluish gleaming energy ball between them. The second their feet touched the ground one of them vanished, whereas the other one was barely a foot away from the Akatsuki now – the real Akatsuki – his hand stretched out, planning to hit him with his Rasengan and since he still hadn't even flinched or seemed to have realized he was being attacked, he was quite positive that he would make it. With a victorious smile on his face he watched how his attack made contact with the back of his chosen target.

A split second later it went right through him. And not only his attack, but also his whole body seemed to just drift right through the Akatsuki and now he was stumbling towards Sasuke, still with his Rasengan held in front of him.

It shocked him a second, not only what had just happened, but also that he was now in the process of attacking his unprepared (ex-?) friend. Nevertheless he didn't falter and pulled through, although he kind of felt bad for his sneaky ways. With the Akatsuki that was totally okay, but he respected Sasuke and wanted to solve this in an open manner. Well, too late now. He was a little unbalanced still and his upper body was a little closer to the ground than it should be, so he aimed his Rasengan at Sasuke's hip, but before he could hit him, the Uchiha stepped back and a second later he was lying on the ground.

A sloshing sound drowned out the noisy pattering of the rain briefly, as the blonde landed with his full weight on the soggy ground and the rotating chakra-stream of his Rasengan hurled the mud around, sprinkling all the people around him with small brown dots.

"Ugh." Suigetsu grimaced and took a step back – although he was practically made of water and obviously rejoiced in the rain, he seemed to harbour a strange dislike towards mud.

Naruto was just about to raise his upper body from the ground, when Sasuke put his foot on his neck and pushed his face back into the puddle.

"What's the point of asking questions, when you don't wait for an answer?" Sasuke asked in a cold voice and stared down at the back of Naruto's head, his now dirty, blonde hair, before his attention was drawn to the other Naruto, the one that was still standing there in the middle of the group of Konoha-nins.

"Then tell us! What news? Just what in the world is going on?" The Uzumaki yelled and clenched his fists tightly, since they had started shaking with a mix of fear and anger.

"Hn." Sasuke closed his eyes briefly and stomped on the clone's neck, causing him to vanish in a cloud of smoke, before he shrugged casually: "She is dead… Now you know."

"Sh- what?" Naruto stuttered, his eyes wide with shock, but so were everyone else's too.

"You bastard…" Kiba growled in unison with his dog and that in combination with the look on his face, really did remind of a wild animal.

"Y-you wouldn't." Naruto shook his head. They had been together for a whole year and in that time he had changed so much, he had become something like a nicer version of his old self with her around, but now… He had been so sure that Sasuke would never be able to even lay a finger on her and now he was supposed to have killed her? That just couldn't be true. "Not her, you would never – I don't believe you!"

"You wanted me to tell you and I did – what you make of my words is your thing." Sasuke shrugged, his voice entirely cold and detached, like he didn't care at all. Like he was really as indifferent as he always pretended to be.

He didn't even know what to do now. Sasuke was by no means an angel, but he would never do anything like that. Wouldn't stand there and declare in that casual tone that he had killed the probably only person, who had ever gotten close to him.

"You're not Sasuke." Naruto pressed out through gritted teeth and had clenched his fists so tightly that his nails left bloody impressions in his palm. "You're an impostor! The Sasuke I know would never… he would never have done that. He hated Akatsuki just as much as any of us - he would have never joined them! So who are you and what did you do to him?"

"You'll never learn it, will you?" Sasuke scrutinized the Uzumaki closely, taking no interest in the people around him, who looked no less shocked but probably more aggressive than him. "I buried the old Sasuke along with her, but if you care so much about them, I can send you right after them."

A deafening crack of thunder cut through the sky. The kind of thunder that made you wonder if the clouds might not be as solid as they looked after all and would soon crumble down, piece by piece and bury all the non-believers under their sheer masses. It was such a cliché that their apparent showdown was accompanied by rain and thunder and doomsday weather; now there was just a tornado missing that would sweep through the field right between them, before the earth would crack open then and gape apart, just to emphasize the distance between them in the most exaggerated way. Like it needed any emphasizing…

"You wouldn't…" Naruto repeated again in an unsteady voice and kept shaking his head, while his eyes were getting watery and the additional water blurred his vision even more than the pouring rain already did. Still he could see his face. His now again stern and serious features, which made it hard to believe that he was just kidding. Back then as he had been with Orochimaru still, he had tried to kill them, but had never done it and Naruto had been sure that he couldn't; that he's never been serious about his death threats and now he should have actually killed Sayuri? And then he had convinced his team even that she was safe with him and had probably obstructed their plans. He should have listened to Neji. They hadn't been up to the situation, everyone had known that except for him and now a part of their old team was dead. Team 7 was incomplete yet again and this time there was nothing he could do about it. He had failed her. Had failed them all.

He wanted to look at Neji and see how he was taking the news, but he couldn't move. A surge of anger was bubbling up inside him, hot and scalding like lava, turning him into a live volcano, ready to erupt. And then that laughter. That vicious, mocking laughter. The Kyuubi was having the time of his life in there, making fun of him and his trust in his best friend, giving him the I-told-you-so sermon, rubbing salt into his wounds by telling him how he was too weak to even protect his friends. Telling him he was a failure. And how right he was.

Back then he had asked Sasuke how he could ever become Hokage, when he wasn't even able to save his friends. He hadn't been able to save Sasuke and now he had also lost Sayuri, but in a different way. She was lost beyond retrieving. Nothing he could do could bring her back. He could never again invite her to Ramen and coax her into paying the bill. He could never again make fun of her, when they watched a horror movie and she dug her nails so deep into the armrest that they pierced through to the upholstery. He could never boo or cheer again, when he caught her and Sasuke snogging.

"_She counted on you, Naruto. They all count on you all the time. Will they never see that you are too weak to reach up to their expectations? Have they still not realized that you are nothing but a big mouth? That you can't do anything by yourself?"_

"Shut up…" Naruto growled under his breath, trying to silence the Kyuubi in him, but he just kept on murmuring in that callous, yet enticing voice that went down like hot butter, before it burned everything it came in contact with – at the moment Naruto's self-control.

"_You could have saved her. If you had allowed me to help you back then, you could have easily beaten Sasuke. You could have killed him even and set an end to your permanent rivalry. I can help you now… Let me help you put an end to the wretched bloodline of the Uchiha. It's the least you can do for her. Let me out and I'll avenge her death. Together we are strong. Together we can squash everything – everyone who gets in our way."_

"No!" Naruto refused, louder now and buried his fingers in his hair, yanking at it, hoping that the pain would distract him from the alien voice in his head. "Stay where you are." He demanded, but against his resolutions, an almost translucent layer of chakra began engulfing him and his formerly clear blue eyes had taken on a blood red shade.

"What an interesting group you are…" The real Akatsuki remarked and at once diverted everyone's attention away from their own person and towards him. "Three representatives of Konoha's great clans…" He murmured and took a couple of steps to the front, with his hands clasped behind his back, which unsettled them even further, although half of them made it hard to tell so from their expressions.

With Naruto and Kiba it was obvious. They both looked ready to dash ahead and strike at anything so unfortunate to get in their way, other than the two remaining members of their team. Shino looked attentive and wary, but not aggressive; he wouldn't do anything before his team-leader told him so, however that one just stood there with until shortly closed eyes.

All he did was standing and breathing, trying to silence his thoughts and suppress the tremors that ran through his body. His way of fighting didn't take any emotions. He had to be concentrated and precise; otherwise his blows would be ineffective. He couldn't fight when his hands were shaking like a willow leaf and then he couldn't help pressing his teeth together so tightly that he was close to pulverising them and that didn't really make breathing easier. He would have to delay mourning his friend till later. Right now he was the team-leader. He would have to make sure that they stopped them. Would have to keep an eye on Naruto and keep him from going on a rampage. He would have to make sure that that damn Uchiha would no longer be able to make the world a worse place by offending it with his mere existence.

"We have the Aburame-clan, who believe that having vermin is an art." The masked man said in a derisive voice, before his face turned from Shino to Kiba who was the next in the line.

"The lousy Inuzuka-clan with one of their creatures of course." He chuckled at his own pun and fully ignored the low growl, coming out of the direction of Kiba and Akamaru; it was impossible to discern from whom exactly, since they sounded and right now also looked so very similar.

"And the Hyuga clan." He walked some more steps, no longer into their direction, but sideways, rather like an army officer examining his cadets. "There have been rumours that the Sharingan evolved from the much inferior Byakugan. People even put those two Doujutsu on the same level… Now we'll get to see which one really prevails and finally quash these affronting rumours." His voice had become colder, but the challenging undercurrent remained perceptible and now he came to the last one of them, the one who was still barely able to tell between the voices in his head and the ones in reality.

"And last there is the Jinchuuriki…"

Naruto's crimson red eyes at once switched to the Akatsuki, as he mentioned the much hated term in the very tone that always caused his blood to boil, which made it even easier for the Kyuubi to influence him.

"You know, I've just sent one of my men to Konoha, to search for you, but since you are here, there probably won't be much left of it, once he is through."

The surges of hot and boiling anger were briefly disrupted by ice-cold shock and for a few seconds everything was clear. He no longer heard the Kyuubi, chanting and raving there inside him. Nor did he hear the Akatsuki any longer or the rain or the thunder which must have followed the bolt of lightning that had just slashed into a hill, not so far behind Sasuke and Suigetsu. Somehow their faces looked out of place. If he wouldn't know it better he'd say they looked shocked as well and now Kiba was riding ahead on his huge dog and he watched his white fur get browner and browner with each one of the slow-motion leaps he took towards the Akatsuki. He could feel panic all around him and there was all this motion, but it was going so awfully slow and he wondered if his vision would now follow his sense of hearing. He had lost most of his faculties already and it seemed like an inexorable process, so why should he even try to fight it?

He closed his eyes, letting all the world go black and drew back into a small niche in a corner of his mind, relinquishing all control for the evil spirit in him to seize.

…

…


	37. Faceoff

_Hello everyone – this is the last update before the holidays. Hope you enjoy it and wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year =)_

**37.**** Face-off**

After Madara's words everything changed. When they had first been rather wary, had merely talked and seized each other up, every bit of reluctance had vanished now.

Kiba and Akamaru had at once run towards the small group of their enemies and performed their collaboration jutsu on them, for which they jumped at their opponents, while rotating in fast circles, almost like a drill. Since they had seen them coming, they've had no problems with dodging though, but they at once went for their next attack, keeping them busy with Shino's aid. Neji had wanted to join them as well, but once he had seen what was going on with Naruto, he had decided against it.

The Uzumaki was enveloped by an almost translucent red coat and he was trembling all over. He looked even more brutish than Kiba did. He had grown fangs and they were sticking out over his bottom lip and his pupils were slitted, like those of a wildcat. And then his voice. He was emitting a guttural growl, sounding like nothing the larynx of a human being could ever produce and yet it was clearly coming from him.

Although this was Naruto, his team-mate and friend, Neji couldn't help but to be seized by something close to fear at the sight of him. Or not so much the sight, but the feeling of the aura surrounding him. His chakra was so powerful, but more importantly evil, and he could easily see with his Byakugan how the Kyuubi was pushing away every bit of Naruto's own chakra. He could practically see how he stopped being himself and turned into the monster that has been sealed inside him.

"Stop it Naruto!" The Hyuga called out, appealing to what little of Naruto was still left there in that beast-like creature. He stepped closer to him, noticing the heat he exuded; there was even a faint steam rising up from his skin, as the raindrops vaporised on it. He growled louder as he approached him and his blood-red eyes darted into the direction of his team-mate, who was searching for a trace of recognition in them. Was he even aware of the people around him or was he only seeing movement – because in that case he was in quite a plight right now.

He had witnessed before what happened when Naruto was overcome by the Nine-Tailed. He had only grown one tail yet, which was good, since, if he remembered correctly, he lost his self control with the third one or was it the fourth? Anyway, from that point on, he didn't differentiate between friend and foe any longer, and then he was about as dangerous to them as their actual enemies were. Maybe even more so, because he had the violent unpredictability of a wild beast, combined with the cunning malice of the Kyuubi.

"Calm down. He's just bluffing." Neji tried to soothe him, although he didn't believe that himself, but he at least tried not to think about it. He couldn't afford to let all of this get to him, if he did, he could just as well lie down at once and wave a white flag over his head. It wouldn't make a difference to his efficiency then.

"Stay away." Naruto snarled and in spite of the harsh tone in his voice, Neji was glad that he was still able to speak. If he could keep the Kyuubi in rein, then his chakra would give him a great advantage and they could need every advantage they could get hold of… But then only as long as the Nine-Tailed wouldn't take over.

"Just get a grip, okay?" He sighed, completely sure that he could have saved his breath on that one, but then a scream drew their attention towards the battlefield.

It had been Shino. He was lying on the ground, not far away from Sasuke and that one was walking towards him now, his katana hanging limply at his side. Inactive for the time being, but as it seemed he was just about to change that. With a shocked expression Neji watched how the Uchiha slowly, almost solemnly, raised his sword over Shino's head, planning to finish him off and it didn't look like the Aburame would be able to move away in time.

Hastily, Neji pulled out a handful of shuriken and threw them at the dark-haired man and to his relief he used his katana then to fend off the rapidly approaching missiles, instead of using it to chop off Shino's head. Now he had drawn Sasuke's attention to himself and he glared at him through these red, hate-filled eyes. He held his gaze, absolutely sure that his eyes looked the same way, since he harboured nothing but hatred for the ungrateful bastard.

He had it all. He had friends that would go through fire for him; that would always close both their eyes and look the other way, regardless of what he did. He had a girlfriend, who was one of the sweetest and most caring persons he knew – the exact opposite of him, and for some unknown reason, fate brought this unlikely pair together and how did he show his gratitude? By killing the one person who would have done everything for him and now he would carry on with the others, with the rest of the friends, he didn't deserve to have in the first place. And the worst part about all this was, that he would probably get away with it.

He always got away with whatever he did. It's a shame what happened to his family, no doubt about that, but nevertheless that gave him no right to act like he was the only orphan on this planet, the only one who ever lost someone he loved. He behaved like he owned a corner on suffering and no one ever told him that that wasn't the case. That other people had it just as hard as him, even harder, and that nothing of what happened some ten years ago could justify the way he was acting now.

His fists started trembling again, eager to be put to use in the most brutish way. He wanted to lash out, over and over again and crush his blank face. How could he possibly stay calm and composed with all these pictures running through his mind? How could he push back the scalding anger that was twisting his guts? He wondered how Naruto did it. He not only had to suppress his own, but also the Kyuubi's anger and that just had to be massive…

A swarm of insects surrounded the Aburame now and Neji briefly lost sight of the Uchiha and at once used that chance to take a deep breath. He couldn't stand here any longer and let Kiba and Shino take them on by themselves. It didn't seem like the two of them were much of a match for the two nuke-nin, (_the two_, because the Akatsuki was staying out of everything and just watched them). At least Shino looked pretty bad already, whereas Kiba seemed like he was in control of the situation still, but in case the Akatsuki, should decide to interfere, he'd be in quite some trouble.

Just as he meant to rush ahead, as composed as he could possibly be in the current situation, Neji was beaten to it by Naruto, who suddenly leaped into the air, and it didn't even take him a second to cover the distance to the masked-man, who was sitting there on a bigger stone and didn't even get up or flinch as Naruto's chakra-engulfed fist approached him.

His attack hit the mark. There was so much power in his punch that even the rock burst into countless tiny fragments and then Naruto was behind him and the Akatsuki still stood there at the very same spot as before, safe and sound, like nothing had happened. Just like before.

The blonde didn't waste any time to ponder about what this was all about, but spun around on his heels and threw himself right into the next attack, over and over again, rampaging like a tasmanian devil and still there was just one tail, so this was mostly Naruto's own doing. Neji was so engrossed in watching and analysing the Akatsuki, trying to figure out how he could seriously stay unscathed, when he was under permanent attack by the Uzumaki, that he almost missed the kunai that was flying at him, right in the blind spot of his Byakugan. Just in time, he threw himself to the ground and rolled over, only just managing to dodge the dagger. He ended up in a crouch and at once erected himself again, feeling the mud run down his legs and his formerly white clothes were now brown.

Sasuke was standing behind him, or well, now that he had turned around, in front of him, barely five metres away, the apparent thrower of the kunai. He must have known about his weak spot, or was he able to see it with his Sharingan? There wasn't much known about how exactly the Sharingan worked, the Uchiha had been mindful to keep the majority of their secrets to themselves. The main things he knew about it came from Kakashi, but he had also said that it was different from person to person, which is why he had no idea just how much Sasuke could see. How much he could do with it.

The first individual trait Sasuke's eyes possessed was definitely the way he could fill them with so much hate that it was impossible to feel any different about him. He wondered how Naruto could still call him a friend after fighting against him; after looking into these abominable eyes.

Yet again he could feel an overwhelming rush of anger well up in him, like there was an evil spirit sealed inside him as well. Before he could again remind himself to be calm and concentrated, he already rushed ahead, while he simultaneously drew a handful of shuriken out of his side pouch and hurled them at his opposite, who fended them off with shuriken of his own.

The metallic throwing stars clashed and clinked, before they landed in the mud, which was again followed by a metallic sound as Sasuke's katana collided with Neji's kunai.

He'd try to disarm him, before he would use his clan-typical taijutsu on him. The most dangerous thing about the Uchiha was definitely his Sharingan, so when he'd manage to completely inhibit Sasuke's chakra flow, he could neither use that one, nor could he use any other of his techniques, and beating him in taijutsu shouldn't be too hard.

Enhanced by his Chidori, Sasuke's blade at once cut through Neji's kunai, like it was made of ricepaper, but the Hyuga pulled his arm back in time and lifted his leg to kick into Sasuke's stomach. That one used the hilt of his katana to parry Neji's foot, but since that kick had merely been a diversion, he didn't care too much. His flat hand was already raised in the air, surrounded by a bluish gleam from the chakra he had concentrated into it, and now it snapped to the front like an aggressive cobra, going right for Sasuke's arm. He merely brushed it, without actually hurting him. Right now it wasn't about causing him pain, although he really, really wanted that, but about blocking as many of his chakra pores as was possible and he'd start with his right hand, to make sure he could no longer let his Raiton chakra stream through his katana.

He worked quickly and got more done than he would have expected, before Sasuke wielded his sword and he could only just crouch down in time, to keep his head from going its own way, somewhere down there in the mud. However he did not manage to dodge Sasuke's foot, which now crashed against his sternum and he perceived a slight creak, before he was hurled back. To his great relief the terrain was mostly flat and empty, except for some scattered rocks and bushes and the ground was really soft so it dampened his fall. Nevertheless the force of the kick left him quite breathless and he had some trouble with jumping into the air in time to avoid getting into the sea of electricity, which was sprawling under his feet.

He had almost forgotten that just like him, the Uchiha was able to channel his chakra out of his every chakra pore. Damn. That would be a hard piece of work for him, especially now, that Sasuke had to know what he planned and sure wouldn't let him get this close to him again, which was really unfavourable, since he was a short-range fighter.

Still in the air, Neji drew a kunai, rigged with exploding tags and threw them not only at his opponent, but also the ground in front of him and to his sides, to cut off his possible escape routes. They exploded with a short delay, merely a second before Neji's feet reached the ground again. He must have either hit the Uchiha, or he had merely dodged, but either way, he had been forced to interrupt his attack and now Neji was standing on more or less solid ground again, without getting roasted like a chicken.

Before him was a dense cloud of smoke and if it wasn't for his Byakugan, he wouldn't be able to see a thing, but since that wasn't the case, he could easily make out the crouched figure of the Uchiha, standing a good distance away from him. What he couldn't tell though was, if he was crouching because he was hurt, or just because he had landed that way, as he had leaped back to avoid being seized by the explosions.

Thanks to the pouring rain, the smoke screen soon faded and Neji could see now that his opponent was definitely not unharmed. One of his shoes was missing and his foot and shin were bloody, but he couldn't tell if it were deep or shallow wounds. Nevertheless his mood lifted at once, whereas it seemed to be the opposite with Sasuke's.

The dark-haired man narrowed his eyes angrily, before he performed a quick sequence of seals and inhaled deeply.

"_Katon: Hôsenka no Jutsu_."

Sasuke spat out a volley of small fireballs, which approached the Hyuga at a tremendous speed, but that one didn't even flinch or shrink back, but released a great amount of chakra out of his chakra pores, while spinning in fast circles, creating a practically impenetrable shield this way. It weren't only flames but also Shuriken, he could clearly make that out with his Doujutsu, but it didn't help anything and as soon as Sasuke realized that and gave up on his attack, he came to a stop again.

He expected to find Sasuke look even angrier than before and definitely frustrated, since he was obviously inferior at the moment, but instead a gleeful smirk appeared on his lips. Neji could only still see how his fingers flipped up, but the second he noticed the wires on them, there was already pain. His whole back seemed to gape open, as the still searing hot shuriken, Sasuke had only just thrown at him, returned and now stuck in his back.

The force knocked him to his knees and he could only just catch himself with his arms, but the pain was still too acute for him to get back to his feet. However then a different kind of pain distracted him from it, as Sasuke kicked against his arm and judging from the way his ulna stuck out through the skin, left no doubt that it was broken. And now he was kneeling there at Sasuke's feet, like a monk in a temple, but he just wasn't able to get up yet.

The Uchiha could have easily killed him now. It had been five seconds already, in which he hadn't been able to move, hadn't been able to defend himself and five seconds were more than enough for a ninja to murder another, so why was he still alive?

"I actually meant to end this quickly, but I'll make an exception for you." Sasuke said in a blank voice, no trace of anger or hatred audible in it, which made it hard to doubt his words. If he would have sounded furious and impulsive, you could have assumed he was only talking on a whim, but this way there was only cold calculation, which made obvious that he was utterly serious.

Neji struggled back up from the ground, since he couldn't stand to kneel there with his face in the mud, right in front of the loathed Uchiha. It was hard with only one functioning arm and the other one hurting so bad that he'd like to rip it out, but he managed, although really slowly and he mainly relied on his spine to erect himself.

His pale eyes wandered up Sasuke's bloody leg, over his torso and once he was sitting, they finally met his blood red Sharingan and in that very moment, Sasuke kicked against his chin, throwing him on his back, which caused the few Shuriken that were still sticking in it, to pierce even deeper into his skin. Then there was an explosion as the small explosive clips, he had attached to Sasuke's remaining trouser leg in the very last moment, detonated.

The other fights were no less fierce. No one really had the time or possibility to take in much of what was going on around them. Losing sight of the enemy for even so little as a second seemed fatal. Although it was a two (with Akamaru even three) on one situation, Shino and Kiba had their hands full with the Houzuki. He was practically immune to all physical attacks and none of them was proficient in Elemental- or Genjutsu, so it was practically impossible for them to cause him any harm. With him that was different however. His sword, same as his Suiton Jutsu were all too effective on them, so they could hardly do anything but dodging, hoping he'd exhaust his chakra resources soon and at least they kept him from interfering with any of the other battles.

Madara was probably the only one, who didn't even seem to breathe any heavier. The whole terrain around him was one huge scene of devastation; a result of Naruto's attacks, of his punches, his Rasengan and not to forget the chakra cloak surrounding him, which was probably his most dangerous weapon. Nevertheless it didn't seem to have even the slightest effect on the Akatsuki. There wasn't even dirt or a loose thread on his coat! It was so damn frustrating and yet he couldn't even give in to these feelings, out of risk that he might lose control of the Kyuubi, which had up to now almost always ended with him hurting his friends, so he couldn't let that happen.

He had created a bunch of shadow clones, which were now gathered all around the Akatsuki – Tobi, if he remembered correctly. He had fought him before, but back then he had only run away, whereas now he didn't even bother to do so, which made him appear really powerful, although he hadn't attacked him a single time yet. He only waited for him to attack himself, which happened far more often than he would like to admit.

A violet light bathed the circle of Narutos, as the reddish glowing light surrounding them merged with that of their bright blue Rasengan. He had set up a theory about how the Akatsuki managed to dodge his every attack and it was actually pretty simple: he was just superhumanly fast! He moved back and forth so quickly that he didn't even notice it and therefore thought he didn't move at all – that easy. That is why he would now attack him from all sides and even from above, to make sure that all the speed in the world wouldn't help him to avoid his attack – the combination of almost a hundred Rasengan and his fox cloak.

They all darted ahead simultaneously, narrowing in on the masked man, like concentric waves in an ocean of light. The first row hit him, before they dissolved, as the second row followed. Then came the third and the fourth, until merely fifteen bunshin and the original of course were left. Once he was through with his attack, the remaining clones dissolved as well and the only one left was the real Naruto, but no trace of the Akatsuki. For a second Naruto believed he had done it. That his Rasengan and the Kyuubi's chakra had managed to turn him to dust. A second later he decided he had better check on it. There was no such thing as being overcautious when it came to dealing with Akatsuki.

He moved his head to the right, seeing Sasuke and Neji fight a slight distance away from him. They were either covered with blood or mud, or maybe both and they looked like they had only narrowly escaped a meat grinder. At the moment he couldn't even tell who held the upper hand, but Neji clearly looked like he needed help. It should have been him who fought Sasuke and then on equal conditions, but Madara had come first. After hearing about Konoha, he hadn't been able to hold back any longer. They would have to hurry. Maybe they could warn them still or even intercept them, but in any case they would need him to defend the village.

He tore his eyes away from Sasuke's fight and turned his head farther around, but there wasn't a single person, until he came upon the fight of Kiba and Shino. They were on the other side, a bit farther away than the others and with them it was pretty easy to tell who was dominating the confrontation. Suigetsu was completely in his element. He was diving from puddle to puddle, always with a wide grin on his face, whereas his opponents looked pretty exhausted, but most of all frustrated. They were wounded as well, but it still didn't seem like they needed help, so he roamed his eyes farther around, until he had made a complete round and still no sign of the Akatsuki.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to use the sense of relief that was flooding him at the moment, and of course the feeling of accomplishment, to fight back the Kyuubi, before he would take care of Sasuke. At the moment the feelings of friendship were entirely overshadowed by the knowledge that he had killed Sayuri. Still he wouldn't just kill him too; he would not lower himself to his level. He would bring him back to Konoha, but as a captive and not as a friend.

"Did you really think it would be this easy?"

His still red eyes snapped open and his blood ran cold in an instant, as he perceived that callous voice from right behind him. He spun around, his fist at the ready, but there was no one there, so he ended up punching the air and nearly threw himself off balance.

"Over here." A mocking chuckle swung in the voice, which now came from the other side. This time Naruto didn't rush it again and turned around very slowly, until his eyes came across the cloaked man, who still didn't show any visible signs of damage.

"You." He growled, the beast in him gaining ground again.

"I'm quite disappointed with your abilities. I would have expected more from the Jinchuuriki of the Nine-Tailed Fox." The Akatsuki said calmly, but nevertheless there was this derisive tone in his voice, which made Naruto want to smash his stupid mask and then go for his face. If only he could…

"I am sure however, that that comes down to your abilities as a Jinchuuriki. A host with so little control… It's almost a shame that you of all people were chosen as the Kyuubi's vessel."

"_Chosen_?" Naruto narrowed his eyes angrily and his whole body was trembling with fury. "What do you know?"

"Oh, just about everything." The masked man chuckled and folded his arms in front of his chest, while nodding to himself. "I dare say I was the reason for it."

"What?" His voice had lost practically every bit of human quality now, but then the human part in him was pushed farther and farther back in general. His remaining resolution was just no match for the Kyuubi's concentrated wrath. He could no longer stand to listen to him any longer. Regardless of how important it might seem.

He lapsed into a murderous frenzy. He wanted to sink his teeth into his skin, feel his warm blood on his tongue, taste its coppery tang, see him go down on his knees, and wallow in his pleas for mercy. His every thought came cloaked in crimson, but there wasn't enough left of himself any more to feel disgusted by his own atrocious imagination.

The second tail emerged as he ran towards the cloaked man, with his claw-like fist held close to his mid-section. This time the Akatsuki leaped up, right before Naruto's fist would have hit him and used his head as a springboard before his feet reached the ground. He weighed what felt like a ton and Naruto ended up face-down in the mud.

"Your amount of control over your Bijû is more than just insufficient – nothing like its previous host…"

Naruto shot up to his feet and at once stormed towards his opponent again, sending his chakra cloak ahead, but it didn't seem to have any effect on him, and his real fist only ended up in the Akatsuki's open palm. He took the force of the blow like it was nothing. He didn't even so much as swerve back, like he had punched against a steel cube. That would then negate his theory of him not being solid. Especially as the Akatsuki closed his fingers around Naruto's fist and broke his hand with no apparent effort.

The blonde cried out in pain, but again he rather sounded like a wounded animal than a human being and this was also the moment, when his last bit of self-restraint stepped back to let the Kyuubi take over.

An ear-splitting roar ripped through the scene, even louder than the thunder and was accompanied by a slight tremor of the earth. Everyone's attention was at once drawn to the source of the uproar: a black orb of energy. They interrupted their fights for a moment and watched the scene in front of the Akatsuki with shocked faces.

It has only been a matter of time before this happened and now they were facing a problem. Up to now it has always taken someone else to stop him, Naruto had never managed to do so on his own – it has either been Jiraiya, Yamato or Sasuke. The last one was there though, but they doubted he would lend them a hand. Right now it might actually be an advantage to them. That Akatsuki was closest to him, so he would probably attack that one and hopefully beat him. But what would happen after that?

Another roar sounded, not as loud as the first one, but angrier. Then the black sphere around him burst into numerous small energy balls, which shot into all directions at such a speed that it was almost impossible for the people surrounding the Uzumaki to dodge.

"No!" Kiba yelled and threw himself to the ground, while he simultaneously kicked against Akamaru's front paws, to make sure he would be out of reach of any of the approaching chakra orbs as well. Shino had been lying on the ground to begin with, and only had to roll away, as one of them crashed into the ground right beside him. Suigetsu didn't manage in time. Instead of dodging he had tried to turn to water, but he had been too slow, so one of the energy balls hit him in a semi-liquid form, which is why he didn't take the full force of the attack, but still enough to put him out of action for the time being. Thanks to their Doujutsu and their speed, Neji and Sasuke could evade them unharmed. They were both severely injured though and had only just taken some time to breathe through, which is why they had picked up on some of the things the Akatsuki had told Naruto and had therefore been at least to some extent prepared for what had just happened. Or maybe it had been his words that had induced them to take that break.

What did he mean with he was the reason for it?

As it seemed both Neji and Sasuke were pondering over that, so they could both fully concentrate on thinking and breathing, without having to fear an attack. It was hard though; both the occupations they were focusing on right now. They were both injured and exhausted, especially Neji was in a really bad condition. The wounds on his back were deep, but not deep enough to be life threatening, but they hurt like hell and impaired his movements to a great extent, not to mention his left arm. It was definitely broken, it didn't take a doctor to see that. Now that he's had a little time he had tucked it into the inside of his upper garment, so it wouldn't just hang there at his side and get worse and worse because of all the movement, the further hits and so on.

Actually he wanted to watch Naruto, or not so much wanted to, but rather felt like he had to, since he was unpredictable in his current state. Still the urge to keep an eye on Sasuke, his immediate opponent, was far greater. He wouldn't put it past the Uchiha to stab him in the back – again – but thanks to his Byakugan he could monitor them both. He'd use all the time he could get to catch a breath, secretly hoping that Naruto hadn't lost his entire self-control and would first finish off the Akatsuki and then help him with Sasuke. However he doubted so.

He was not only surrounded by the Kyuubi's chakra now, but had actually turned into a miniature version of it, but he didn't look like he usually did. The Kyuubi's red chakra was like a second skin now, it was no longer translucent and didn't hover there around him like a shroud in the form of a fox. He had seen this part with him turning into a fox before, but now the ridges of his spine stood out, or it seemed like they were fixed on his back, but it didn't look anything like the human spine. It was much bigger and the single vertebrae stuck out and were really sharp, looking like kite-shaped plates, reminiscent of those of a Stegosaurus – like they were a weapon. Five tails now – he had never seen him in the five-tails form, but he knew that three was all he could control…

"Let's see what you got…" The masked-man said, but there was no trace of intimidation in his voice, on the contrary, it rather sounded challenging. The Naruto-Kyuubi-mixture at once focused his attention on him, after hearing his voice and leaped up with so much force that he left a path of destruction in his wake.

He covered the distance to the cloaked-man in less than a second and struck him so hard that his fist went right into the earth, splashing the mud around, so for a moment it was impossible to see anything. The Uzumaki was now constantly surrounded by a fine steam, as the heavy rain evaporated once it only got close to the heated atmosphere surrounding him, but there was again no trace of the Akatsuki.

The blonde didn't seem to mind though. At least he didn't start searching for him. He just sat down on the ground and roared; a roar that again brought the earth to quiver slightly and caused the people around him to cringe reflexively. Then he started lashing his tails around, from time to time getting really close to them and then he even started firing around with chakra balls at random, only out for destruction, with no apparent aim, which didn't mean he didn't hit anything. Luckily the land was mostly empty; although the owners of the various fields surrounding them would be quite fretted, once they saw what happened to their grounds, which at the moment reminded of the impact site of a meteor shower, with craters ranging from burrow sized ones, to some that looked like dried up seas.

"Shut up!" Suigetsu groused as the Mini-Kyuubi emitted another ear-tormenting roar. The Houzuki had managed to go back to his solid form again, although he didn't look quite right, still a bit like jelly and it weren't only the corners of his mouth, but more or less all his features that seemed to be drawn down a little, so he looked kind of battered. Still that apparently hadn't kept him from opening his mouth to complain, which was probably the worst thing he could have done, because the second his words faded, the Uzumaki had already jerked his head around to him and a second later he had jumped up, right into his direction.

"Shit!" The nuke-nin gasped and at once tried to merge into one of the puddles, but as only about the top of his head was left above the surface, Naruto reached him and at once slammed one of his chakra claws into the huge puddle he had chosen as his hiding place.

Shino, Kiba and Akamaru, who were now very close to him, immediately used his apparent distraction to try their escape. However that was about as bad as screaming at him or making any other kind of noise. From the corner of the glowing white holes that were supposed to be his eyes, the Mini-Kyuubi saw their movements, and at once turned his attention to them, again firing a volley of chakra balls at them. One of those exploded right at Kiba's feet, and the force of the explosion threw him backwards, against one of the few rocks that studded the flat terrain – what a lucky guy he was.

Shino had retreated into one of the trees and pressed himself to the trunk, as still as if he was a part of it. As it seemed he was as proficient in mimesis as some of his insects were. And now, with no one left to stir any of his senses, Naruto went back to just randomly attacking the terrain around him or some of the birds that hadn't gone into hiding like all the other animals seemed to have done.

"He's quite a troublesome guy." Suigetsu sighed, as he emerged out of one of the puddles right beside Sasuke's feet. However _emerged_ is not quite accurate. His facial features appeared on the surface of the murky water, he wasn't able to do more at the moment.

"Hn." The Uchiha nodded, still seemingly distracted, but then his eyes switched to the Hyuga, as he hurled a kunai at him. With a resentful look on his face the Uchiha jumped back, while throwing a handful of shuriken at his opponent, who again used his Hakkeshô Kaiten to fend off the approaching missiles, although with only one hand left, it wasn't as effective as usual and he ended up with a little scratch on his cheek, but nothing serious. Once he came to a stop though, he could only just duck down in time to avoid getting hit by one of Naruto's chakra paws he had swung through the air, like he meant to swat a fly. Maybe that's how they looked to him…

Sasuke managed to dodge as well, but now they had drawn the Uzumaki's attention to themselves and he didn't waste a second to cover the distance to his new victims of choice. He started right towards the dark-haired man and to what little was left there of Suigetsu, and Sasuke tried to stop him with his Sharingan, but he didn't seem to look into his eyes, so he couldn't trap him in a Genjutsu and he wasn't able to repress the Kyuubi's chakra like he had done before or maybe that had something to do with the fifth tail…

He had never yet seen him like this; the Kyuubi had far more control over him than ever before, so maybe his Sharingan just didn't have any effect on him. The last time with only four tails it had been hard enough, so maybe that was the problem.

A hint of terror invaded Sasuke's otherwise blank features and he crouched down slightly with his hand on the handle of his katana, although it would probably be impossible for him to stand up against the Kyuubi with nothing but a sword. And so, with that in mind, he activated his Mangekyou Sharingan, planning to use Amaterasu to stop him, but he was already so close that he probably wouldn't make it in time.

He was practically frozen and although Naruto seemed to move in slow motion, he just couldn't stir, couldn't do anything to defend himself. All he did was look into these white, glowing holes like they were the lights at the end of a tunnel – like there'd ever be light for him… That train had long left the station, because of all the decisions he had made in the past and now his future held nothing but darkness for him. So maybe it was comforting after all that he didn't really believe in the afterlife…

"That'll do."

He perceived Madara's voice behind him and twitched briefly, realizing that Naruto's razor sharp claws were right at his cheek. They had pierced through his epidermis, barely a millimetre, not even enough to draw blood. It wouldn't even have taken the thousandth of a second and he would have ripped his face off, but now he was as frozen as he had been just a second ago.

Sasuke didn't dare to move away yet, fearing he'd rouse him again. The Uzumaki was by no means insensate; he made a low, rasping growl and he was trembling, with rage and ever so slowly his claws pierced deeper into Sasuke's skin. In and out with every tremor that ran through him. That was probably what he wanted, he wanted to shed blood, but Madara kept him from it, whereas he hadn't even been able to get into his head…

"What a poor performance…" The Akatsuki murmured, but Sasuke could not be so sure if he meant him or Naruto, but now Madara walked around him, towards the still shivering Mini-Kyuubi. He looked so mad, if he could, he would probably tear him to pieces – all of them – but that obviously wasn't an option for him.

"You lost a good part of your strength…" He came to a stop right beside the Uzumaki, without the slightest hint of fear or even hesitance, like a lion tamer in an arena. "…but for our plans it will do."

A sudden jerk went through Naruto's body and he leaped back, leaving long, bloody tracks on Sasuke's face. He landed a few metres away from them, not in a crouch, but perfectly straight and then his hands snapped down towards his body, He became as stiff as a board, with all his limbs tightly glued to him, like they were made of iron and he had just swallowed a magnet. And then a howl escaped him, exploded out of his mouth. It was such a terrible, bone-shattering sound. The most awful sound they had ever heard. Even the Akatsuki couldn't help but to raise his hands to cover his ears, just like everyone else.

Then his voice suddenly died out, so abruptly, that the subsequent silence seemed too perfect to seem right. His red glowing skin dissolved from his body, became an almost translucent mist again that shrouded him, but not in the shape of a fox anymore. It was walloping and bubbling like boiling water, seething all around him. It was impossible to see him within this lava-like substance, which seemed like it was about to jump over on every one of them and burn them alive. The air was already filled with the smell of something burning. Cotton. Meat. Hair. A repulsive smell. But then everything became really still. The red chakra just faded and Naruto fell to the front, as stiff as before and the way he lay there, face-down in the mud made his posture appear even less natural.

He no longer moved and neither did anyone else, still shocked by what had just happened, until the masked-man slowly stepped to the front, heading towards the lifeless man.

"If I'm not mistaken you wanted to end this quickly." He murmured and glanced over his shoulder at the younger Uchiha, who had now raised a hand to his cheek, which was burning and throbbing with a dull yet searing pain that radiated through his bones. He lowered his bloody hand again and glared at the Akatsuki, who had turned back to Naruto though. The blonde was now lying right at his feet and was most likely in the process of drowning in the puddle, his face was lying in. The Akatsuki then pulled something out of his cloak, some sort of sheet or tag and placed it on Naruto's back.

"What did you do?" Sasuke asked in a low voice and scrutinized the two men with narrowed eyes, completely forgetting about the Hyuga, who was still practically standing beside him and was probably wondering about the very same thing.

"Oh, just made sure he'd stay tame and docile." He chuckled and lifted the unconscious man by his collar with a single arm, before he tossed him away like a piece of trash.

"Naruto!"

He flew at least ten metres wide, like he was as heavy as a football and he would have probably flown even wider, if it hadn't been for a black swarm of insects that appeared in his trajectory and caught him. They then carried him to a slightly higher area a bit further off and slowly lowered him to the ground, so they could no longer see him and he was definitely out of their way.

Madara turned back around and stared into the direction, the voice had come from and saw Shino and Kiba. The Inuzuka was running right into their direction, whereas the Aburame had turned the other way to where Naruto had landed. They both looked kind of battered, especially Shino, but still they definitely could and would still fight. Then he looked from Sasuke to Neji and finally to Suigetsu and shook his head in disappointment.

"It looks like I've overestimated your abilities. To think that you'd have so much trouble to beat a handful of ninja… Or is it your conscience after all?" Madara snickered derisively; the thought of being affected by emotions always filled him with a sort of malicious glee. "You should about finish this, before he thinks the Byakugan would actually stand a chance against the Sharingan. I'll make sure our Jinchuuriki won't get abducted."

He slowly walked off, like he had all the time in the world, while Sasuke kept glaring at his back, until Neji's flat hand collided with his side and he could only just raise his elbow and thrust it against Neji's neck to keep him from harming him any further. The Hyuga stumbled backwards, but caught himself again, and was just about to rush forwards again, when Sasuke exhaled deeply and spat a huge fireball at the Hyuga, who again started spinning in fast circles, creating a shield through the rotation and his chakra, and in the end Sasuke was hit by some deflected sparks that burnt black patterns of worm-eaten leaves into his clothes, but he barely realized so.

Seeing that as his chance, Kiba pulled out a kunai and hurled it at the obviously distracted Uchiha, but on halfway, his dagger was intercepted by the Houzuki, who rose out of a puddle, still looking kind of weird but definitely better than just a minute ago. The weather was perfect for him. With all the water he could recover really quickly and his attacks were far more effective of course.

"I still have a score to settle with you. I won't let anyone drag my name through the mud because of someone like you." Suigetsu sneered and narrowed his violet eyes. He knew that the Akatsuki had not only referred to Sasuke, but also him, since he hadn't yet killed his opponents either. If it hadn't been for that blonde guy it would have been fine, but he had kind of taken him by surprise, so he now had to defend his reputation and show that old geezer what he was made of.

He attacked the Inuzuka right away, while Sasuke finally stopped his attack and could only just pull his head back in time to avoid getting hit by a kunai, Neji must have prepared beforehand. Nevertheless it grazed his earlobe and that about did it.

"I've had it with you." Sasuke hissed angrily. "I'll end this now."

He raised his left arm over his head, his palm directed at the black clouds above them. Blue and white sparks began sizzling up his arm, concentrating in his hand. The thunderbolts came more frequently now. Lightning flashes illuminated the sky, seeming to centre right above Sasuke's head. Jagged jolts of electricity flashed around one single cloud, but didn't strike into the ground and there was no more thunder than just a few minutes ago, which didn't mean there was none – it just didn't correspond to the number of lightning.

Neji's eyes widened in shock as he saw what was happening. He had never seen anything quite like this: this gave a whole new meaning to the term _nature manipulation_. Sasuke channelled his own chakra into the thunderclouds above them and he didn't have the slightest idea what would happen next, only that it would be a really powerful attack.

"This jutsu is called Kirin. Don't even try to dodge, it's pointless." Sasuke said in a cold tone and then a sudden jerk went through his hand and in that moment the various bolts of lightning fused and assumed shape, appearing like a colossal unicorn. Not only Neji, but everyone else was now frozen and gaped at the terrifying phenomenon in the sky, too shocked to concentrate on their own fights.

Then Sasuke moved his hand down and in the next second everything was blindingly bright and Neji didn't even manage to close his eyes in time to avoid seeing his own death step out of the sky in the form of a mythological creature.

Then came the impact.

From one second to the next everything was white. There was only a short bang, like a drumbeat without echo and then all sounds died out and up became down and left right and chaos descended, putting the world in a cocktail shaker and giving it a good rattle. Neji couldn't even tell how long it took. If it was only a second or eternity. And then at some point he was no longer standing any more. Wasn't sitting or lying either. Wasn't anything. Like his mind and body were no longer a unit, but then a sudden pain shot through him – through his body!

The glaring white light faded, leaving only darkness, but not for long. Suddenly the light returned. The light and the colours, but everything was a bit too dark and yellowish.

But it was there.

Everything was still there. He was still there (and unfortunately also the pain) and the others and the surroundings, but they looked so different now. There was a huge, really huge crater and he was more or less lying in it as well. He must have been hurled through the air at the impact, but the centre wasn't where he had stood, so he must have missed him!

It wouldn't be surprising – just the thought that the Uchiha was able to fully control such a powerful natural force as lightning was plainly absurd. The fact that he had been able to control and also shape it at all was impressive enough (although he didn't like to admit that), but he couldn't imagine he'd be able to guide it with precision. And now he was most likely exhausted, whereas they were unharmed, or were they?

The Hyuga struggled into a sitting position and looked around, but there was so much smoke, he could barely see anything. He gathered his last bit of chakra and activated his Byakugan to scan the area, search his friends and enemies. He found Kiba and Suigetsu at the edge of the crater, not far away from Sasuke, who was kneeling on the ground, looking like he was in danger of falling into the depth. A bit farther to the right he saw Akamaru, lying on the ground, close to some bushes and then there was Shino, lying on the ground as well. He was weak, he could see that, but he was alive. He must have gotten a good share of the explosion; it had definitely hauled him away from where he had stood before. And then there was Naruto. He was moving, although at snail's pace. He was lying on his stomach and tried to pull himself forward with his arms, closer to them, but he could barely raise his upper body off the ground and there was something on his back, the tag the Akatsuki had attached to it, and it was absorbing all his energy and the more he struggled the worse it seemed to get. But what's most important was that there was no trace of the Akatsuki!

Where was he hiding? His Byakugan had a range of 800 metres and he was definitely not within this scope, so where could he be? It took him some time to put one and one together and realize the obvious: The centre of the crater was about where the masked-man had been. Sasuke's attack must have hit him!

The smoke slowly cleared and now Neji focused his full attention on the Uchiha, trying to read in his face what he thought about what had just happened. He mainly looked exhausted. He was breathing with his mouth open and his head hung like a weight from his shoulders, too heavy for him to hold up.

Suigetsu rose out of the ground beside him and said something to him, but he was too far away to hear what and he had trouble with reading his lip movements, since he was turned at the wrong angle. However whatever he had said, must have driven Sasuke to overcome physical exhaustion and now he struggled to his feet, his deep black eyes directed at the centre of the gaping wound his jutsu had inflicted on the terrain.

Now he had to realize what he had done. That he hadn't attacked his enemy, but his ally, but why didn't he look surprised? Where was the shock, the despair at seeing that he had only just killed one of his men and had therefore reduced his own chance of getting out of here alive? Couldn't he even spot a hint of satisfaction in his worn out features?

It was most likely just his imagination, but nevertheless Neji couldn't help but wonder if he had really just missed him, or if he hadn't been the intended target to begin with…

…

…


	38. Worries

_Hey everyone. Sorry for the long wait. I hope you all had a nice Christmas and a good start into the New Year and hope you enjoy reading this new chapter =)_

**38.**** Worries**

This wasn't anything like the old hideout. There was no endless maze of corridors and rooms. There weren't any brick walls either, no light bulb-nooks, no sign of civilisation – nothing that made it look inhabited. It was a simple mountain cave. The ground was relatively flat, but the ceiling varied a lot from being hardly a metre high at the lowest spots and up to five metres at the highest. It could be quite risky to run around here when it was dark… There were a few floors even, if you could call them like that… They rather seemed like separate small caves that were embedded in the thick rock face. Sayuri was sitting in one of those now.

Karin had dragged her all the way here, although she hadn't protested and obediently walked after her. At least as soon as the others had been out of sight. Once she hadn't seen them any more, resisting had become pointless, but not only that, complying had just seemed so much easier.

Why should she struggle and exert herself, when it wouldn't get her anywhere? Why should she even bother to brood and use her head, when whatever she had to say would go unheard anyway? When regardless of whatever plan she could come up with, there was no way for her to breathe life into her thoughts?

The situation was hopeless.

She was nothing but an eliminated pawn in Madara's game of chess; not even close enough to the chequerboard to witness first hand how the game would turn out. She had a fairly good idea though. His cadre seemed to consist of nothing but a frighteningly small number of pawns and a king, which would be him. He was the king and the player, which made him – as a person– almost invincible, in spite of the lack of manpower in his team.

The white side on the other hand was most likely complete still. He would most definitely lose, but the crux of the matter was just how many people he would drag with him to hell…

She was sure it would be many. Half the village? Two thirds? Who knew? But definitely something on that scale. And just how many of those she knew? She liked? She might have ended up liking, if she's only ever had the chance to?

She had met most of her friends during missions; either as comrades or as sensei or during her work in the hospital, and all these people would be at the front line when it came to an attack. They'd be the first to fall down, because they are the strongest, the ones who are expected to take the risks and most importantly survive them. And they would survive an encounter with most enemies, but someone of Madara's calibre?

Highly unlikely.

Or was she underestimating them?

Or maybe overestimating Madara…?

He was old; really, _really_ old – a hundred years at least, but he was in a remarkable shape for his age. Nevertheless he apparently needed Sasuke's help for his plans, so maybe he wasn't as strong as she thought. The main reason why she was so intimidated by him was the evil air surrounding him – it was the feeling of his mere presence and not his strength, which didn't necessarily mean he wasn't powerful… She couldn't even tell what he could do, because she was now sitting here in this cave, whereas he, Suigetsu and Sasuke were in the process of fighting her friends-

-_killing_ her friends.

How very little it took to make Sasuke break his promises. He wouldn't kill anyone unless it could be avoided… Apparently hearing that they were in the same country made it unavoidable. And then Naruto was with them even…

She knew that Madara was after him, which is why she had wanted Sasuke to promise, he wouldn't let the Akatsuki get near him, but again the mere mentioning of their names must have made him forget about his promise in an instant. Or maybe he just planned on killing Naruto before his relative could put his hands on him. They had never talked about any conditions, so who knew? And actually he hadn't really agreed to her request either. He had changed the topic and she hadn't even realized it until now.

Nevertheless that didn't make much of a difference to her—

-none at all, actually.

The fact that he cared so very little about her feelings, about their future, about their friends, was telling enough. She has made her decision and had told him about it, but that hadn't changed anything about the decision he had only just made. He hadn't even hesitated a single second, before he had thrown away whatever there was between them yet again. Maybe he hadn't believed she was serious about it. She had come back to him once, so why shouldn't she do it again?

But she wouldn't. Not this time. How could she ever again feel affection, or have any romantic feelings for the man, who killed her friends?

They were his friends too, or at least used to be, and someone who was able to kill his very own friends was nothing but a monster and she couldn't be together with a monster. Couldn't allow a monster to even get close to her baby. With a monster as father maybe her baby would turn out as one too.

She could already see herself lie there in the delivery room (would they even get her to a hospital, or would it be up to Karin to get the baby out of her?) after having gone through the worst pain in her life, and then her midwife would come with a bundle in her arms and pass it to her. She'd take it, but before she even had a chance to look into the tiny gap in the blanket, some slimy tentacles would come out of it, or it would have a cloven hoof – now wouldn't that be funny?

Or was it rather sad?

She really wasn't sure. Just a month ago the line between those two very contradictory emotions has still been really clear and distinct, but now it was smudged and it was almost impossible to tell the difference. Would she start laughing or crying, when she'd first get to hold her squid-devil baby in her arms? If it wouldn't get any better with her mood swings then probably both in an interval of five seconds…

Her emotions weren't predictable anymore. She could no longer tell how she'd feel about something beforehand. Like right now for example; with how things were going it would only be natural for her to cry, but she couldn't. Didn't even feel the slightest inclination to do so.

She didn't really feel sad, but rather confused, although everything was pretty clear, so she had no idea why she was feeling that way. Maybe it wasn't confusion then, but then what else could it be?

She'd go for despair. In these rare occasions when she could think clearly, she was unmistakably perceiving the clutches of despair that were trying to drag her away from sanity.

_Hey_ – if the baby took after Sasuke, it would be a monster and if it took after her, they could send it to an asylum instead of a kindergarten!

Wow – bad joke mood now, how appropriate …

Still this thought actually brought a smile to her face and she was just glad that there was no mirror around that could force her to see this. The sight of her own expression would probably haul her right into the bottomless pit of madness, where it was always opposite day, so she'd spend the rest of her life laughing and raving, or at least until her jaws had fallen off or ground to dust from the constant abrasion.

A noisy rumbling echoed through the mountain and in the first second Sayuri was sure it had been an explosion. However once logic made its comeback, she was convinced it was only thunder. The storm must have finally erupted, nothing more… They weren't anywhere near, so it was rather unlikely that she would hear any sounds of their battle. The noise of the running water right above her and on the other side of the rocks she was leaning against, made it hard to make out anything in the first place, so it could have practically been everything, as long as it was loud.

Maybe an explosion after all…

Damn. She couldn't bear this. Not even thinking about it. Thinking about what they were doing at the moment. She yearned to find the off-button of her brain and just switch it off. Put an end to all this.

Like it would ever be that easy… It was just like she had thought. She was sitting here, all by herself in a small, tunnel-like cavern within this great cave, with her body curled over her drawn-up knees. Her eyes were closed. There was nothing there for her to see; not in here, although the calm, never changing rocks, with their non-stirring shades of light brown and a little less light brown, were far more pleasant to her frame of mind than the various tones of red in her head: _crimson, vermilion, scarlet, carnelian, amaranth, burgundy, maroon_ – pretty names for pretty colours and yet they did nothing but disturb her, the way they were splattered across the mental images of her friends.

She pressed her tied hands against her eyes, like they could just push out the things she was seeing, but weirdly enough that didn't work. Not even as she opened her eyes, peeked through her spread fingers at the abundance of brown, did the bloody veil lift from her sight, from her imagination.

Just why did she have to be such a goddamn pessimist? Why couldn't she ever get herself to believe that only because she was able to imagine all these terrible things didn't mean that by default they'd have to happen like this? How come all the lines were getting so blurry? The lines between different emotions, the lines between reality and imagination and then the… the voices?

"Oh, you're still there." Karin entered the grotto-like cavern, she had led her into about fifteen minutes ago. "What's the matter? I thought you had long bitten through your bonds and run off… What happened to the tiny rebel in you?"

Sayuri didn't answer or even look up. She wouldn't let Karin provoke her; she wouldn't give her that satisfaction. The first thing she had done, once she had brought her here was binding her hands and her feet together with thick cords, before she had given her back a push, probably with the intention of making her fall, but she had managed to keep her balance, although with a lot of staggering, and shortly after that the redhead had left, but the sounds of her giggles remained audible even some time later.

And now she was back, probably looking for yet another chance to amuse herself at her expenses. Therefore Sayuri was determined to ignore her; to do nothing but sit here, as mute and lifeless as a stone, showing no sign of anger, fear or sadness, like she wasn't even there at all. Like she was nothing but an empty shell, as brainless as Karin thought she was anyway.

This was the first time ever since she knew what happened that she was all alone with Karin. She had been sure that the second she'd only catch sight of her, she'd be overcome by bloodlust and would jump right into her face and scratch her eyes out, but that wasn't the case. She wasn't mad at her. Felt no kind of resentment towards the redhead.

She wasn't quite sure if that was really because she was at long last through with Sasuke or because she was too worried at the moment to feel angry. It was completely different even: she pitied her.

Kind of pretentious considering her own situation, but she still felt that way. The only reason why Karin was acting the way she was, was because she was jealous (and because she disliked her of course). She had the man she wanted, and now she didn't even want him any longer – that had to _really_ piss her off.

"Not talking to me, eh?" Karin sighed, a mixture of mild annoyance and definitely amusement lacing through her voice. She leaped onto a rock and let her legs dangle down, apparently not in the least unsettled by the situation, so they were probably – _hopefully_ – alright still. Or at least Sasuke was alright, but what about the others?

Sayuri closed her eyes again and pressed her face against her knees. She couldn't bear to look at Karin. She'd end up trying to read even the slightest alterations in her mimic, drawing conclusions that could be so wide off the mark that they'd almost be believable again, but she would never know if she was right or wrong and probably go crazy because of the uncertainty.

"You're not gonna cry now, are you?" Karin's voice seeped through to her, and although she concentrated on the sound of the waterfall, she wasn't able to block her out altogether. "Don't expect any pity from me. In case you don't know it, I don't like you."

Now Sayuri was really tempted to comment on that, but she bit back all these venomous remarks, letting them burn on her tongue, their acid searing her throat. She'd stick to pretending she was the only living being on this planet. Whom could she worry about, when there was no one there? This was one of the rare occasions, when the prospect of solitude didn't seem so very frightening any more; desirable even. Perhaps.

"By the way, I'm curious. What did Sasuke promise you, huh?" Karin raised her voice, like that would make it any more likely for her to get an answer to her stupid question. "Was it something like… oh, you're the love of my life and I'll do anything you want? Orrr… did he maybe promise you to go back to Konoha?"

She inserted a slight pause in which nothing but the sound of the rushing water filled the cavern, but since they had gotten used to that already, it might have just as well been perfectly quiet.

"He did, didn't he? And you believed him, didn't you?" The redhead laughed bitterly, like it was the funniest thing ever and yet there was a hint of envy in her voice, but the worst thing about all this was that her mockery was justified. How could she have been so stupid to believe him? To have trusted him to the very last second?

Apparently his promises were worthless; she had learned that the hard way, but she wondered why Karin knew that… Wondered how many broken promises she was carrying around with her…

"Judging by your silence I'm right."

"It's none of your business." Sayuri finally broke her self-imposed vow of silence and glared through the veil of her bangs into Karin's mocking face and the self-complacent sneer on her lips.

"It's a miracle – she speaks!" The redhead exclaimed and clapped her hands in front of her chest, and from the look on her face, she probably believed that had just been funny. "Thank God! I hate being ignored, you know?"

"Tze." Sayuri narrowed her eyes and gazed to the side. It hasn't even been a minute and she was already sick of having to see Karin's face, hearing her voice…

Okay, maybe there was some sort of resentment there after all, but then she made it really hard to like her… not to say impossible…

"You should better be nice to me. We'll probably have to get along for quite some time, so it would be in your own interest. I could even tell you what's going on over there." She nodded her head to her right, her red eyes signalling Sayuri to follow her gaze, although there was nothing but rocks all around them and she unfortunately or not couldn't see through them. "But only if you say _please_."

"Pfft." Sayuri left it at emitting a contemptuous sound, really glad that Karin had no idea just how very unattractive her offer was to her, because if she knew, she'd probably tell her, even if she didn't beg for it. But she really didn't want to know, because from here she couldn't do a thing, so what would it help her, other than unsettling her even more?

She didn't want to know what they were doing and how they were doing it – she could do perfectly fine without the details. Some time in the future – _maybe minutes? hours? days?_ – someone would come here. Either a member of Sasuke's team, which meant they had successfully killed her friends, or it would be someone of her own team, which would then mean they had killed the father of her unborn child. It really didn't matter what happened now and how it happened – there were only these two possible outcomes and they were both equally bad, so why should she want to know the atrocities that led there?

"Oh gosh… now you're crying after all." Karin rolled her eyes and hopped off the rock she had been sitting on, only to start pacing back and forth through what little space there was here.

If there was one thing Karin hated, than it was seeing someone cry, because nothing was as sure to crack her tough shell as tears. That cursed liquid she had shed far too often in her own life, but had at length forbidden herself to give in to any longer. For almost five years now, she had stuck to her words, her promise to herself, and she had almost forgotten what it was like to cry.

But just almost.

It would be more accurate to say she had forced herself to forget, during her attempts at toughening up. Her attempts at becoming more like Sasuke. They had suffered the same kind of loss and yet unlike her, Sasuke had been able to cope with it and so she had tried to do it like him.

To be like him.

But just now, with how things were going, she wondered if she hadn't been wrong with her impression of him after all. As it seemed he hadn't learned to cope until the present day. Otherwise he wouldn't be here. He would have never joined Orochimaru and then Madara, if he had really gotten over the loss of his family.

And that wasn't all. There were these occasions, these rare occasions, when he let his guard down and she could sense it in his chakra, the raw pain that was as fresh as on day one. Like not a single day had passed since the massacre of his clan and the here and now. A part of himself was caught in a time warp and he probably didn't know so himself. He had only locked up his pain, instead of overcoming it and it was only a matter of time until it broke free of its boundaries at length.

She wondered if it was the same with her pain…

She couldn't possibly know and right now was not the time to think about it and so, before those tears would create even more cracks in her shell, she tried to patch the already present ones with a thick layer of sarcasm. "A waterfall in a waterfall – _tee-riffic_…"

"Shut up." Sayuri snivelled and brushed her face against her shoulder to wipe off the tears. "It's annoying when you talk."

"Now that's not very nice, is it? I could be a very useful ally, but not when you talk like that." Karin clarified, with a stern look on her face and an even sterner tone in her voice.

She should really become a teacher; there wouldn't be any misled or 'difficult' children with someone like Karin beating wisdom and manners into them, but she didn't really want to imagine how these poor creatures turned out then. With what kind of repressed, personal demons they'd tread the paths of their lives… "I helped you escape before, so-"

"What?" The violet-haired girl raised her head and frowned at her opposite, until the meaning of her words finally dawned on her and her eyes widened in shock. "That was _you_?"

"Of course." Karin furrowed her brows. "Who else did you think it was?"

"…"

"I unlocked your door and even made sure, no one would be anywhere near the entry – you should think that would be enough, but nooo… you stupid cow walk into the wrong direction." The redhead groused and shook her head, like she still wasn't able to believe how she could have messed up her fool-proof plan.

So it hasn't been Madara but Karin? Now she was glad after all that she hadn't told Sasuke about it. Maybe she would have gotten him in trouble. Like he wasn't in trouble just about now…

"You would actually let me out?" Sayuri sat up straight and scrutinized the only other human being in this cave sceptically, almost sure that she had only said that to raise her hopes, so she could crush them more effectively.

"Maybe… Depends…" Karin pondered aloud and started wandering around again, her heels perpetually clicking on the hard ground, like the tick-tock of a clock, counting down the time they actually didn't have. "What would you do if I did?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Can you quit being stupid for a second and just answer the question?" She rolled her eyes high up towards her hairline, to express her degree of annoyance and Sayuri really wished they'd stay stuck there, so she'd have to spend the rest of her life running around like one of those non-scary, non-motivated zombie-actors in horror-cabinets.

"Run…?" She ventured a guess, still not sure what Karin was driving at, but the curses she hissed after her words, told her that this was apparently not it.

"Do you do that on purpose?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked not just a little impatient. "Where would you run to? To them or to Konoha? Whose side are you on anyway?"

"I-I don't know…" Sayuri stammered and stared at Karin's moving feet – the only thing in motion inside of this lifeless mountain.

She hadn't thought about it that way. Going to them would make little to no sense, since there was nothing she, the little dwarf, could do in this fight of giants, so it would be going to Konoha – and what then? Could she go there and just betray him? Would she even make it to the village when her thoughts were pirouetting around their battle, dizzying her into submission? So she'd most likely end up going to them after all, and then?

She wouldn't be able to just stand there and watch them – impossible! Therefore she'd end up interfering after all, trying to stop them, when she knew it was beyond her powers and then she'd have to choose a side. And she knew already which one, that wasn't really hard. She'd stick to Konoha – that was the right thing to do, the right side to choose, but even so, could she really do the right thing, with the father of her child on the other side, the wrong side?

"I'd go to them." She murmured, trying to sound convinced, so she could maybe convince herself of the rightness of her decision.

"Good to hear. Thing is only that I can't trust you. Who tells me that you won't run to Sasuke after all and tell him that I let you out? That would be just the thing you'd do… Acting nice and friendly, before you'd stab me in the back."

"… I'm done with Sasuke… I'm sick of his games and the lies and his selfishness and of _you_. If there's a chance for me to get away from the two of you – _all_ of you – I'll seize it." She gave the red-haired woman a steady glance, and she looked almost proud about the mild insult and with a smile on her face she drew a kunai.

It was with a mixture of surprise and yet expectation that Sayuri's eyes widened at the sight of the shining dagger, which came closer and closer, as the person holding it walked towards her. She didn't flinch or back away though, with the bonds she couldn't get away anyway, so she'd at least try to look like she wasn't scared at all, although her expression probably betrayed her.

"Sick of me, huh?" Karin raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, bringing her face on a height with Sayuri's. "You have no idea how often I imagined this…" She placed her kunai at Sayuri's throat, and the violet-haired girl had a hard time to fight the urge to gulp, which the redhead observed with a satisfied sneer on her lips.

"But unfortunately you'd be of very little use to me dead." She brought the dagger down in a quick, careless movement, cutting through the ties around Sayuri's wrists, the first two or three layers of skin on Sayuri's left knee and then the ropes, which were binding her feet together.

Now Sayuri flinched back after all, already having seen various body parts of her, scattered all over the ground, disengaged from where they ought to be and where she liked them to be. But everything stayed where it was, except that the frayed cords were spread across her shoes now. She was free, but she could not be altogether sure of why…

"What's in it for you?" She asked sceptically and rubbed her sore wrists, trying to get her blood flowing again. Unlike just about everyone else, Karin hadn't treated her with kid gloves, but it's not like she would have expected anything else. Therefore the fact that she apparently meant to do her a favour was nothing but dubious.

"Isn't it obvious?" Karin asked. "I'll finally get rid of you." She shrugged. "You'll go there and turn on him right in front of everyone's eyes. Hopefully they'll just take you back to Konoha or you get killed or something, but even if not, Sasuke will hate you for this and that's all I need."

That was kind of pathetic and yet it didn't come as a surprise. She knew that Karin would do anything to bring them apart and she also knew that she was right. In case she would betray Sasuke publicly, he will definitely hate her and he had gone to Karin before, when things between them hadn't quite worked that well… The mere thought of that caused all her scruples to fade away in an instant.

Actually she had told Sasuke she would stay with him – _for the baby's sake_ – but that had just been idle talk… She wasn't strong enough for this. Raising a child all by herself seemed far easier than staying with him. And then he and the people around him were anything but good company for an innocent child. But she knew that he wouldn't let her go voluntarily, so if there was any chance for her to leave him she'd seize it. Even if it meant turning on him, hurting him, playing right into Karin's hands – she'd do whatever it took. She'd have to.

"Fair enough." She nodded finally, half-heartedly. Although she had made her decision, her voice didn't really sound like it, and Karin didn't seem convinced yet either.

"That's not enough. I'm running a great risk here. I'll have to take you on your word, when you're about the last person I'd trust." Karin said with a scowl on her face and the kunai still in her hand, ready to be put to use in case she should change her mind after all.

"That's mutual." Sayuri glared back at her and finally rose to her feet. "But if you like me about as much as I like you, you'll understand why I want to be as far away from you as possible and I don't want my baby to grow up among criminals, so there's nothing for you to worry about."

Kind of weird how quickly _the_ baby, _our_ baby or _his_ baby had changed into _my_ baby. It was hers. She had finally come to accept that and for a fleeting, incomprehensible time she had actually looked forward to it.

It wasn't even so very long ago…

"Tze, you're such a leaf-ninja." Karin gave a disparaging laugh and put her weapon away at last. "You all ride there on your moral high horse and look down on other people." She shook her head, still with a look of disbelief plastered all over her face.

Maybe, if the situation had been different, if she had been in a different mood, if she were more of herself, more of the person she used to be only two moths ago as her whole world had still been right, maybe then Sayuri would have felt compelled to defend herself now. Defend her decision, her home, would have attempted to convince Karin that trying to do the right thing isn't something wrong, something laughable, but in fact something worth striving for. However being the Sayuri she was now, she was unable to state that claim, because she could no longer get herself to believe it either, but she tried…

And so she straightened her drooping shoulders, defying her vacillation by acting certain, chasing away the ghosts of her imagination with a newly kindled curiosity, she barely felt like satisfying.

"Do you really love him?" She looked the redhead straight in the eyes, seeing a flicker there, a sign of surprise and she half expected her to just turn her down. To raise her voice and bark out insult after insult, like she always did when things weren't going as she wanted them to, when she was caught off guard, but this time she didn't. She cast down her deep red eyes and took some time to choose her words, which made Sayuri wonder if she'd really get a serious reply.

"I love who he used to be."

The words came out softer than Sayuri would have expected them to be, softer than Karin had intended them to be and now both women shared a glance of surprise, at that moment forgetting about the unfavourable circumstances that had brought them here together, the unfavourable circumstances under which they had gotten to know each other.

"Yeah… me too…" Sayuri nodded reassuringly, like they had just shared a dark secret and she wanted to assure her that it wasn't this bad, that she wasn't alone with it – all of this with the ulterior motive of assuring herself that she wasn't alone either. "But don't you think… don't you think that when you love someone then maybe you'll someday just have to let them go…?"

"Nonsense." Karin exhaled sharply and fought the urge to role her eyes, keeping them fixed on her opposite instead, wondering how they had gotten from giving each other death threats to exchanging their ideas of love. "When you love someone you have to hold on as tightly as you can and do anything to keep that person with you, because it takes far too little to lose them forever."

"Hmm…" Sayuri cast her eyes down after all and pondered about Karin's words some time. She knew that she hadn't said that to keep her from giving Sasuke up. She had told her what she will do, or what she won't do and that was letting her love pass without a fight.

She _loved_ him.

This wasn't a mere infatuation. She loved him the way Sakura had loved him, the way she loved him and yet differently. She had a different way of loving and Sayuri wondered if it wasn't a better one… It was braver in any case…

She focused her eyes on Karin again and could see in that moment that she regretted to have said that. Regretted to have lowered her guard in front of no other but her self-declared rival. "You're not as much of a pest as you always pretend to be, are you?"

"Pfft… who's the pest here? Now get going before I change my mind." Karin sulked and folded her arms in front of her chest tightly, with her face pointedly turned away from her. "They're at two o'clock, about twenty minutes from here. I'll count to ten before I follow, so get going."

"Hm." Sayuri nodded and observed the other woman closely, wondering if she hasn't had a completely wrong idea of Sasuke's team-mate up to now. Karin was tough and brusque, but apparently there was also another side to her, a side she had only just caught a little glimpse of for the very first time. Maybe if she had met her in different circumstances they might have actually become friends. If they hadn't fallen in love with the same person… If their first meeting hadn't passed as enemies…

"Oh, hold on a second!" Karin stopped her, as she had only started walking, and Sayuri really did pause, only to be hit by Karin's clenched fist a second later.

The blow took her by surprise and she sunk to her knees at once, not so sure if her jaw was still were it ought to be.

"Now it at least looks like I tried to stop you." Karin shrugged nonchalantly, and watched how Sayuri lifted a hand to her chin, but flinched back at once. It hurt like hell, but now she at least knew that everything was still at its place.

She pushed herself up to her feet again and glared through watery eyes at the redhead, with her bloody lip sucked in, biting back a remark or a pained outcry or anything, especially a sense of betrayal, since she had really thought that Karin and her had gotten over their differences. At least to some extent…

"Well, what is it? Hurry!" Karin waved her hand, beckoning her to get going.

Sayuri did as she was told, looking obviously upset though, but she kept her anger bottled up inside. At least for a second. Once she had taken the first step past the redhead, she pulled her arm back and slammed her fist into Karin's stomach.

The nuke-nin gasped sharply and then sunk to the ground, clutching her arms tightly around her belly.

Now at the latest it was official that they'd never become friends, but then hopefully this was the last time she'd ever see her, so it's not like she cared. Karin deserved no better.

"That's mine." She stepped over her and took off the medical pouch, Karin had stolen from her on the very first day of her imprisonment, and after looking around for a last time, she finally ran off.

Luckily, the hideout was fairly small – at least in comparison to the old one – so she ran no risk of getting lost here and was outside in less than a minute. A roll of thunder erupted right above her head and the clouds had burst into saltless tears, empathising with her miserable mood. She didn't even know whom she was more worried about. It should be Naruto and the others.

Yeah, it _should_… but when were things ever the way they were supposed to be?

Wind and water struck her face and ran into her mouth and nose, as she rushed into the direction Karin had given her. It was almost like wading through a mire. She had never yet witnessed a storm like this; such a monsoon-like downpour. The drops of rain were actually heavy, as they pelted on her head and her shoes squeaked in a funny way, as the mud ran into them and was squeezed out between her toes again.

She hadn't even laid back half the way, when she perceived the first indications of exhaustion. Right now the rain came in handy, since it cooled her and she was in no danger of getting thirsty.

The air was filled with a constant growling, from time to time interrupted by a noisy roar, but she was never quite sure if it was thunder or an explosion. It could be a mixture of both. In case they were really going at it, then she should be close enough to hear the sounds of their battle, but what if they hadn't even begun yet? Or what if it was over already?

Her questions were soon answered by a weird phenomenon in the sky. There was this one cloud, still pretty far away from her and it was surrounded by bluish flashes of lightning, dancing round and round it, like bees buzzing around a beehive. She slowed down, glad to finally have a reason to do so, apart from having run out of breath and stared at the numerous bolts of lightning, watching with widened eyes how they suddenly assumed shape – that of a unicorn – and then shot out of the sky. The next thing she perceived was an ear-splitting bang, nothing like those before, and then she was thrown to her knees, as a violent tremor shook the ground.

Just what had that just been?

…

…

He wasn't quite sure if it was a thing about the rain, or if he had gone frail as a raw egg. Either way, the drops of water gushing out of the leaden sky, felt like someone was throwing pebbles at him. Unlike the aggregate phase, the size would about fit, but it was getting better. The storm was slowly weakening. His attack had caused the clouds to discharge, so it was only a matter of time for them to clear up completely. At least the ones right above their heads, he didn't quite know about the other ones, but it's not like it mattered now.

Sasuke was kneeling at the edge of the crater, his coal black eyes focused on the centre of it. It was huge. At least ten metres deep in the middle and fifty in diameter. It hasn't even taken a second – there was no way Madara could have gotten away in time. He probably hadn't even realized he was being attacked, until it has already been too late, or maybe he hadn't realized so to the very last second. Had just passed from life to death without being aware of it.

He had done it.

He hadn't been sure it would work, hadn't been sure if Madara hadn't seen through him after all, but apparently he hadn't. All his experience and knowledge of human nature hadn't helped him this time. Maybe that was because it had been a last minute decision on his part. Even the very second before he had attacked, he had still been unsure of his intended target, but in the end he had decided on Madara.

It wouldn't take a jutsu of the dimensions of Kirin to get rid of the Hyuga, whereas with the Akatsuki that was completely different. But nevertheless he still wasn't convinced yet, if it had really been the right thing to do. If it hadn't been fatal for his future plans to get rid of one of his strongest allies… But after the things Madara had said, he could no longer trust him.

He hadn't really trusted him to begin with, but this was different. He had betrayed him. He had promised he wouldn't take any actions without his consent and yet that's what he had done. And when he had already lied to him now, then he was definitely too dangerous a person to have around.

However his betrayal wasn't the main reason that had led Sasuke to do what he had done. Not at all, actually – it had only made him wary.

It was the moment he had taken control of the Kyuubi, without any apparent difficulties that he had started doubting the role he played in this whole affair and then also his talk about having been the reason why the Kyuubi has been sealed in Naruto.

Things had slowly fallen into place.

He had remembered the first time he had seen the monster inside Naruto, back then as he had still been with Orochimaru and they had found him in one of his hideouts. The Kyuubi had known the Sharingan and compared him to Uchiha Madara; at that time, he hadn't wasted much thought on that, but now it was different. From the Nine Tails' reaction, he was sure that he had not merely seen the Sharingan, but has actually been under its control before, and when could that have possibly been, other than during the Kyuubi's attack on Konoha, eighteen years ago?

Madara had told him that it has merely been a coincidence – _a natural occurrence_ – and that the Uchiha have been wrongly accused, when that hasn't been the case, at least not entirely. It has been an Uchiha who had controlled the Nine-Tailed; however the perpetrator has not been among those, who have been accused of it.

Itachi hadn't lied after all. He had told him that Madara has been behind the whole incident, but that one had denied that. Had told him his version of the story, his version of Itachi's life. He had twisted everything his brother had said around and around and puzzled his own sense together, until he had been so confused that he hadn't been sure what to believe and as it seemed he had chosen the wrong thing.

That would count for this one aspect, but who knew how much of the rest was also untrue.

How much about Itachi?

His true mission?

His alleged affection for his little brother?

He was too confused and most importantly worn out at the moment to make sense of all these things. He'd need some time to go through everything again. Time to recollect in tranquillity, so he wouldn't jump to conclusions again. Think again about everything concerning Itachi, which was again as vague and unclear as just about two months ago, as he had first met Madara and been confronted by 'his truth'.

But what he did know at the moment was that he must have planned all that. After all it was his own clan that had abandoned him and although Sasuke had known that he had felt resentment towards them, he wouldn't have thought that they were among the people he wanted to take revenge on.

He didn't want to destroy Konoha for what they had done to the Uchiha, but he wanted to annihilate just about everyone who had ever wronged _him_ – including his own blood relatives.

He had killed two birds with one stone. By unleashing the Kyuubi on the Leaf Village, he had not only made sure that Konoha would suffer severe damage, not to speak of all the lives that were lost that day, but he had also ensured that the Uchiha would be blamed for the attack.

No one but a holder of the Sharingan could possibly control a Bijû with the power of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox. That had to have been the reason, why he had kept his identity secret that day, which seemed so very unlike him, at least from how he had gotten to know him. Since he had been thought to be dead, the suspicion had at once fallen on the living part of the clan. Most likely on a single member, but since the Uchiha hadn't sold out anyone, it had been assumed that they had acted as one; that the entire clan had been behind the assault.

The Akatsuki was the reason why all of this happened. He had gotten the ball rolling. If it hadn't been for the intrigue he had woven that day, it wouldn't have come to the tensions between his clan and the Hidden Leaf. Then Itachi would have never gotten the order to kill his own relatives. Then he wouldn't stand here now as a man who had lost his family and would have almost lost his future family as well.

Once all these things, all these assumptions, had shoved their way out of the back of his mind to the very front, he had been overcome by a fear he had never known before. A sense of overwhelming panic had fired through his synapses, infecting more and more of his brain cells, until the insides of his head had turned into one huge alarm bell. It hasn't been fear for his own life – he knew that well enough and he knew how to cope with that – it has been fear for his family's safety; fear of being overtaken by his past again.

Everything had been so clear. He had seen a younger version of himself on the very day that had changed his life forever. Had seen himself run through that street again – a waterless version of the River Styx. Had remembered everything he had felt that day:

The grief at seeing the corpses of his parents.

The despair at finding out it has been his brother's doing.

The helplessness at realizing that things would never be the same again.

That he was all alone.

That could have very well happened again. He could have again lost everything that was important to him. Had been so close to being all alone again.

He was sure now that Madara had not only planned his revenge on Konoha, but also his very own clan. Which means he would have posed a danger – not only to him but also his baby and probably also Sayuri. To just about everyone he knew, everyone who was even in the slightest related to the Uchiha-clan or Konoha.

Madara was a madman. He had intended to let everyone suffer for what happened and Sasuke had almost stepped into his footsteps. Had almost taken after a hate-consumed lunatic and the worst thing about that was, how very much his own way of thinking had come to resemble that of his relative. Just like him he had meant to let an entire village suffer for something three individuals had done.

If that hadn't been made up as well…

He'd need to go through his plans again. He was actually still convinced about the role the elders had played in this whole incident, but he had been sure of so many other things as well and they had turned out as false too, so he wouldn't rush things again. Wouldn't just blindly trust into the words of a stranger and do his own research first.

"I'm not meaning to criticise you or anything, but your accuracy used to be better…" Suigetsu distracted the Uchiha from his ruminations, as he rose out of one of the puddles right next to his team-mate, who was still kneeling on the ground, his breath coming ragged and heavy, but the sound was drowned out by the slapping of water on water.

"Or maybe not…?" He raised an eyebrow and looked down at the dark-haired man, waiting for him to finally answer. He knew him since quite some time now, knew his way of thinking, knew what he could do and to blunder like this wasn't really like him… But then when he was in one of his moods, he could become unpredictable, so maybe it hasn't been an accident after all.

"Hn…" Sasuke emitted a meaningful sound and used his hands to push himself into a standing position and after swaying a little, he got a grip on himself and stood as straight as he could, his coal black eyes fastened on the scene in front of him.

The crater was just huge. In a split second the terrain in front of him had changed from cultivated farmland to dead ground, rutted with holes resembling lunar craters. It was nothing like before, thanks to the power of his Kirin. There was no way Madara could have gotten away in time.

Absolutely impossible.

It was surprising enough that none of the Konoha-nin had perished. They had been really lucky that they have been far enough away from the centre of his attack. It hadn't left them unharmed, though.

The Aburame, who had been closest to the Akatsuki, was unconscious or maybe dead after all, he couldn't tell from where he stood. Except for having stumbled, Kiba had remained unharmed, since he had been behind him, so completely out of reach, same as Naruto, who was much farther away from all of them.

Sasuke couldn't really see him from here, although he was sure he could spot a tint of orange in the distance, which might be a piece of his jacket. Either way, he was alive still and so was Neji. He was about ten metres away from him and about three metres under him. The Hyuga had only just struggled to his feet, looking worse for wear though. Nevertheless he had activated his Byakugan and was now clearly staring at him, confusion and shock written all across his features.

"What?" Suigetsu's violet eyes widened as he stared at the blank profile of Sasuke's face. "You mean, you really did that on purpose?"

"Hn." Sasuke nodded, thinking it better to waste as little energy on speaking as was possible. He needed all his energy at the moment to get his breathing back to normal and calming his heart in particular, since that had gotten dangerously close to imploding, in the second he had seen through Madara's plans. The second he had realized what a huge threat he posed to his family. Weird how natural that term came now. Whenever he thought about Sayuri now, he didn't 'merely' think about her as his girlfriend, but his family. She and the baby were his family and it had taken the fear of losing them to make him realize that.

"Now I'm confused." The Houzuki murmured and moved his gaze from the Uchiha, to the crater and also the people in or around it and then back to the Uchiha. "Just whose side are we on now?"

This time he didn't get an answer, since Sasuke didn't yet know himself. His eyes wandered to where Naruto was lying. It had been fortunate that the Akatsuki hadn't taken him away at once. Then he wouldn't have gotten a chance to kill him.

He still didn't know why he had needed all the Bijû, except for using them as weapons, although he doubted that that was the only reason. What he did know though was that there were only two left. Only the Nine-Tailed and the Eight-Tailed since they had apparently screwed up on that one, and in retrospect he was rather glad about that and he was also glad that he had told them that Sayuri was dead.

It had actually just been an emergency lie and he hadn't really thought he'd need it, which is also why he had wondered why he had done it at all. It hadn't been empty words as he had said he would kill them. He had really meant to and yet he had taken precautions, for the unlikely case that they should get away after all, although he hadn't planned to let them, but now his caution had paid off after all.

If they thought that Sayuri was still with him, then they'd probably come after him at once, but this way, they didn't need to hurry. They'd probably go back to Konoha first, get healed and come back with support and hopefully that would give him enough time to move to a different place, where they wouldn't find them too soon and he'd have time to figure out what exactly he would do now. He doubted that much about his plans would change. In case Madara hadn't lied about the elders, then they were still his target, however without the Akatsuki he'd have to change his strategy and that would consume some time.

He wasn't even sure if it wouldn't be better if he took care of his former comrades right away. They were outnumbered and exhausted though, but it's not like it was any different with the Konoha-nin. They were apparently even worse off than them, and with two of them unconscious, or at least incapacitated, their advantage in number didn't really count, so they were even.

Nevertheless he had a feeling that today wasn't a day for any great decisions. Any great actions. At least no more than there have already been, so if he'd only make sure that they wouldn't follow them after all, it should do.

All he wanted right now was to get away from here. He still had a lot of thinking to do and his body clearly longed for rest. It wouldn't take his injuries as long as the last time to recover, but still he was feeling pretty miserable now and then he was still anxious. He hadn't been able to shake off these uneasy feelings and wanted to make sure that Sayuri was safe. She had nothing to fear from Karin. They couldn't stand each other, which was understandable, but he was nevertheless sure that Karin wouldn't dare to lay a finger on her and although he had only just eliminated the potential threat, he still felt the indescribable urge to make sure she was okay.

Besides, he also wanted to find out if he had read her last look correctly. If she was really done with him now, just as she had claimed. Maybe this new turn of the situation would change her mind. He could already see her face when he told her that he had turned against Madara.

First a confused frown, then a disbelieving smile.

But he could also see her face when he told her that that wouldn't make a difference to his plans.

The smile from before would slowly crumble, leaving only disappointment in its wake.

She wouldn't change her mind and he'd have to accept that. Madara has never been the problem, at least not primary. _He_ was the problem. His decision was the problem. Maybe he shouldn't tell her then…

"Err… Sasuke?"

Again his train of thoughts was interrupted by Suigetsu's voice. He unlocked his onyx eyes from the scene in front of him and switched them towards the white-haired man, who didn't exactly look vital, but definitely better than just a minute ago. You could literally see him recover bit by bit, with every drop of rain that fell onto his skin, although the storm had weakened a little by now.

"What are we gonna do now?" The Houzuki asked, entirely clueless. He really didn't have the slightest idea what all of this meant now and where it would lead them. Would they carry on fighting or would they go to Konoha or just take off or do something entirely different? This was again one of the not really rare occasions, when he had no idea just what in the world was going on in Sasuke's head.

"We'll draw back." He told his team-mate, before he turned to the Konoha-nin. "Don't follow us."

The threatening tone in his voice was hard to miss and he thought it would do, to keep them from pursuing them, but as it seemed he had been wrong.

"I don't know what just happened – but we won't let you!" Kiba stepped into their way, as they had only just turned around to leave, and although he had talked in plural, he was all alone and without his dog, he seemed kind of helpless, definitely unfamiliar.

"Haha – I give you ten seconds." Suigetsu sneered mischievously, before his eyes narrowed in a cruel sort of amusement. "You should have already realized that you don't stand a chance against me."

Kiba couldn't think of a reply to this, so he left it at emitting a low, rumbling growl, which made clear that he wouldn't back down. In case they wanted to pass him, they'd have to force their way through and it didn't seem like the two nuke-nin had any restraints to do so.

"This won't take long." Suigetsu grinned and shouldered his heavy sword, ready for an attack. "Just go ahead already – I'll be right there."

"Cocky…" The Inuzuka snarled and narrowed his eyes into slits. "But that's okay. You'll only underestimate me once."

"_Underestimate_?" The white-haired man snickered and watched his opposite crouch down, preparing to fight. "I think I know you well enough to have a fairly good idea of your abilities, but feel free to prove me wrong."

Both men regarded each other with challenging expressions, before they both dashed to the front, deciding to let their fists do the talking. Sasuke watched them for a moment; watched their fists and their weapons clash over and over again and he couldn't help but to sigh about the eager grin on his team-mate's face.

Personally he didn't have anything against a good fight, but the Houzuki actually enjoyed the fighting, enjoyed to hurt others and even kill them without a good reason, and that he couldn't relate to at all.

He never did anything without a reason.

He detached his eyes from their fight and moved them to Neji, to make sure he wouldn't get into their way as well and catch them off guard. It didn't really look like that though. The Hyuga had sunken to his knees again and had deactivated his blood trait and Sasuke doubted he had done so voluntarily. It didn't look like he'd be a threat to him. He could finally give in to the pull that was drawing him towards their hideout. The pull that was drawing him straight to the person waiting there for him, like there were invisible threats tied to his limbs, moving him into her direction.

He took the first step and now that the adrenaline level in his blood had subsided a little, he first became aware of the pain, surging through his whole body. He paused briefly, not even long enough for anyone watching him to see this as a sign of weakness, but as he had only just raised his shoeless foot for his next step, he sensed something behind him, so he swayed to the side in one swift movement.

Then there was pain.

A sharp, sudden pain. Not like the one before, he had already grown familiar with, but a pang, so intense that it took both his breath, same as his vision away for a second. He didn't pass out though, albeit that would have probably been more pleasant, but he stayed conscious, and conscious as he was, when he looked down at himself, he couldn't detect the source of his agony.

"You nearly had me there…"

Sasuke's obsidian eyes widened in shock, as he recognized the voice that only just murmured in his ear, but his brain wasn't able to process this piece of information yet. Then he heard Suigetsu call his name, but his voice seemed to come from far away and he was barely aware of it, since in that moment a blade of shock slashed through the pain-induced haze that was dulling his mind, slowing his brain, and he knew it now—

-knew it, but didn't understand it. Understand why Madara was now standing there behind him, when he had only just killed him. When the flash of lightning must have burned him into an ash heap. Had he risen like phoenix from the ashes? Was he able to cheat death?

It didn't matter, because whether he knew why or not, didn't make a difference to the fact that he was now standing there behind him. Alive and furious, which meant he was in quite a plight.

…

…


	39. And so it begins

**39. And so it begins…**

It's in the nature of human beings to make mistakes.

Uchiha Sasuke never thought that he was different in that point, although he would have never openly admitted that, but nevertheless it hadn't even crossed his mind that he had been mistaken about this. Mistaken about something as crucial as the condition of his only remaining relative: Uchiha Madara.

And now he was facing one humongous problem.

He wouldn't say he was incapable of fighting as such, although he could think of a lot of things he'd much rather do at the moment. However he knew that he was in no condition to fight against no other but the leader of Akatsuki, who now had to be in an apocalyptic mood, due to the fact that he, as his supposed ally, had only just tried to kill him.

Had until two seconds ago been sure that he had done it.

"If I hadn't prepared for your betrayal and if it hadn't been for Zetsu, who recorded your fight against Itachi, then this would have been the end of me." Madara murmured in a low voice and gave the kunai he had rammed into Sasuke's lower back, a twist, causing him to gasp sharply. "It has been a close thing at any rate. And although I half-expected this, I'm still disappointed with you. I thought you'd know better than to let your emotions taint your mind, but as it seems I've been wrong. You're no better than your brother."

"Don't speak to me of Itachi." Sasuke hissed and, ignoring the danger, ignoring the pain, he pulled back his elbow, planning to hit his relative in his ribs, but he dissolved in time and as the kunai that had kept Sasuke upright vanished, he sunk to his knees, but caught himself with his hands, not allowing himself to let his head hang down, although it seemed far too heavy to keep up. However he was sure that once it was down, it would take him an eternity to lift it again and he didn't have an eternity and unfortunately he wouldn't be able to see his relative in the puddles before his knees, so he had no choice but to push back fatigue, until he had time to deal with it.

A second later, Madara appeared in front of him, so Sasuke moved his eyes upwards, taking in his full appearance, and it took him little to no time to notice that something was missing: his right underarm.

His sleeve and the upper right part of his cloak had burned off and there was only a black and red stump left of his upper arm and the visible skin of his chest didn't look any better either. All he could see was black and red and charred meat and scorched fabric and blood and damage – a hideous sight, something you wouldn't expect outside a butchery and yet he was here, without any meat-hooks jabbed through his skin, to keep him on his feet.

It were painful, handicapping injuries, but they weren't lethal and yet Sasuke couldn't keep an arrogant smirk from curling his lips upwards, as he saw the damage he had done to the oh-so-mighty Uchiha, although his own condition wasn't that much better either. He could feel a throbbing pain at the height of his left kidney and in case he had really hit it, he was in danger of dying from internal bleeding. Although the whole dying part didn't really seem tangible at the moment; he was feeling way too good right now to be dying.

"Heh. You knew I was going to attack you and this is how you ended up?" The Uchiha voiced his amusement and pushed himself into a standing position.

Something with his humour was all wrong. In the funniest situations, when everyone was rolling on the floor with laughter, he could barely crack a little smile, and not because he didn't want to, but because he just couldn't, and now, without any particular reason, he was hardly able to keep a straight face. He not only had no reason to feel amused, but then amusement was pretty much the very opposite of what he ought to feel in this predicament. Not for the first time, he was closer to death than to life and yet, instead of being afraid, he could only think about what a morbid joke it was that he might die at the hand of a one-armed bandit. _Hilarious_. Apparently it took dying to finally make him develop a sense of humour. Only that it wouldn't do him much good now, unless…

"The great Uchiha Madara…" Sasuke said, with the for him so characteristic air of arrogance surrounding him, something no other but him would be able to get across as believable in the given situation as Sasuke did right now. "You're nothing but a legend. Maybe you once were the strongest ninja the Uchiha clan ever produced, but now you're nothing but a bitter old man. You're nothing. That's why you needed me, needed Akatsuki, because you've set your aims too high for you to reach them any longer. You're pathetic."

"Big words from a little boy who isn't even able to decide on his aims in the first place. Maybe I'm not who I used to be any longer, but I'm still more than you'll ever be." The Akatsuki claimed nonchalantly, fully ignoring the defiant sound, coming from his last living relative, the man he had thought to be on his side until his very obvious betrayal had convinced him of the contrary. "I expect you to act on your words, because I won't go easy on you."

If Sasuke was intimidated or scared right now, would have to be guessed by anyone who didn't happen to have insight into the very core of his thinking processes and not even the entity of his own being had, so he thought himself safe. In spite of his pretences, fear had sunken deep roots in his mind, winding around and strangling the thoughts he tried hard to pay no heed to, but they didn't allow him to just ignore them and now there were the questions.

How could he have gotten away?

How could he survive his strongest attack?

What could he possibly do now?

What if he failed?

Where had Madara been in the time he had believed him dead?

What had he done?

Just how much was he really capable of?

How deep did his hate go?

He was afraid. More afraid than ever. But not afraid for himself. Not primary. He was afraid of the implications of what might have already happened. Afraid of what might happen if he failed and for once in his life he was almost sure he would. Wounded as he was and with only Suigetsu for support, he would have a hard time, which was still pretty much of an understatement. His cockiness was only show, only an attempt at buying some time to figure out what to do now. And that wouldn't be easy. Not only because of how strong Madara was, but because it was really hard for him to think clear, now that he stood face to face with the very source of all his suffering. The very person who was to blame for everything that happened to him and his clan.

Fear was suppressed by anger and without having come up with any strategy yet, Sasuke drew a kunai, going for his first attack. It wasn't a serious move, he didn't even expect to be able to scratch him a little. However this at first sight careless action declared the beginning of their fight.

A fight of Uchiha against Uchiha.

Sharingan against Sharingan.

"And so it begins…" Madara announced, flipping the dagger, he had only just caught, around his fingers, before he hurled it into the ground right between them, creating a slight breach in the more or less dry ground of the crater: an additional acceptance of his challenge.

The next moment his blood red eye, met the so very similar ones of his relative. Sasuke drew his katana and ran ahead, led by rage rather than reason. He kept his almost clairvoyant eyes fastened on his opponent, looking for any fluctuation in his chakra, anything that might help him discern when he was using his jutsu; when he was transporting a part of himself away in order to avoid damage. His chances of being able to hurt him without this essential piece of knowledge were rather slim, not to say non-existent, and although his condition was anything but favourable for a long-worn fight, he would have to take his time to test him, analyse his movements, his behaviour, his chakra flow – everything, just so that he'd be able to find a way to get around his space-time ninjutsu. So he wouldn't end up wasting every bit of his remaining chakra for fruitless attacks; would strain his eyes for nothing.

Madara didn't swerve back and so Sasuke had no problems with taking aim, which is why his katana went right into Madara's chest, only to come out at the other side, just as expected, however without cutting his torso in halves, which he had likewise expected, although a small part of him had secretly hoped for this to happen after all.

The moment the entire blade of Sasuke's katana had passed through his body, Madara gripped his relative's arm, so tight that if he had shifted his hand, he might have snapped his arm like a match, the way he had done with the Hyuga's arm. Before it could come to this, Sasuke channelled his lightning elemental chakra through his every cell, turning his entire body into a weapon, and as he did so, the grasp on his lower arm vanished and Madara took a step back and when Sasuke moved his katana the same way back, it went right through the Akatsuki again and still no sign of damage.

Nevertheless this at first sight unavailing attack equipped Sasuke with an essential knowledge. He hadn't made himself intangible as he had still held his arm, but had first let go and stepped back, something he had already witnessed before, so he could most likely only be attacked when he was interacting with someone else. In other words: he would have to make Madara attack him in order to have a chance to attack him in turn. This meant he could completely forget about long-distance attacks and would have to let himself in for a close-range combat.

He brought his sword in position, and, never lifting his eyes off his enemy, he covered the few steps towards him, pretending to attack from the right, but before his katana would have hit Madara, he also concentrated his Raiton chakra into his left hand, shaping it like a spear, which then pierced through his opponent's right leg at the same time as the blade of his sword traversed first through his still whole arm and then his chest, but neither that one, nor his legs seemed to take any damage from his attack.

Next point on the list: He could not only send one part of his body away, but apparently several, regardless of their location, or he had to make his entire body intangible in that moment, which would support his theory that he wasn't able to attack while he was defending himself.

Madara leaped up, in order to avoid Sasuke's Chidori Spear and thrust his leg to the front in mid-air, aiming it at Sasuke's head. In that second however, Sasuke's eyes changed from a deep red, to their usual black, with the only difference that there were three red, overlapping ellipses in the centre of them and a moment before the Akatsuki's foot would have hit him, he sent a plume of black flames towards his foe.

He was too concentrated to perceive any sort of emotions, neither positive nor negative, as he observed how the older Uchiha was sucked into some sort of vortex, right in the air, the very instant his Amaterasu reached him.

Then he was gone, without a trace.

Sasuke disrupted his chakra flow at once and pressed a hand against his left eye, the one which enabled him to summon the unquenchable black flames. A brief jerk went through his whole body, as he accidentally touched the wound that marred his cheek, but he soon ceased to perceive the pain. Same as always when he used his Mangekyou Sharingan, Sasuke was overcome by a sudden wave of dizziness, nothing much, only a brief sensation of vertigo, a feeling of being beside himself in the true sense of the word.

He took a deep breath and lowered his hand again, not daring to deactivate the strongest, but also most straining version of his Doujutsu yet, as he searched for his opponent. Waiting for him to appear any second now and it was just then that his emotions made a come back. However it wasn't worry or fear any longer, not even the slightest trace of doubts, but fury. He was beginning to feel the same sort of hatred for his last living relative, he used to feel for his brother and still felt for Danzô.

As Sasuke was on the lookout for his enemy, the remaining three shinobi did it like him. Kiba and Suigetsu had postponed their fight for the sake of watching Sasuke's battle and Neji had now lined up beside them as well. The Hyuga most definitely approved of the turn of events. It could only be favourable to them if they took each other out. He still didn't understand why the Uchiha had turned against his ally; maybe it was just in Sasuke's nature to betray his companions, some sort of treason gene, either way, he definitely welcomed his change of heart. But then he was still in doubt about who his ally – his current enemy – really was.

Sasuke called him Uchiha Madara – an Uchiha like him, when he was thought to be the last remaining one and then it was not just a random person. Neji very well knew who Uchiha Madara was and he also knew what happened to him and that rendered the fact of his being here impossible. But then who else could he be? Judging from his abilities, from the way he so easily stood up against Naruto and even controlled him in his five-tailed form, he had to be really powerful. Who else but someone of the calibre of Uchiha Madara could be able to do that?

Suigetsu was beginning to get slightly edgy. He was aware of Sasuke's bad condition; he had seen with his own eyes how the Akatsuki had stabbed him in the back and now he wasn't so sure if he should let his team-mate fight by himself, or if he shouldn't much rather help him. Up to now things were working well enough, but then Madara still hadn't shown up yet and he couldn't be so sure if he had managed to evade Sasuke's Amaterasu in time or if he had been hit and had just teleported himself somewhere else to die alone without anyone watching.

"SASUKE!" Suigetsu barked suddenly, as he saw Madara rise out of the ground, right behind Sasuke's back, a Tantô at the ready. Sasuke didn't even have a chance to turn around in time and Suigetsu fought the urge to squeeze his eyes shut, as he saw how the Akatsuki rammed his short sword into Sasuke's back.

That is what he would have assumed to have happened, if he had closed his eyes, but since that wasn't the case, the Houzuki didn't fail to notice how Madara's sword did _not_ hit Sasuke's back, but a great ribcage that was surrounding him like a shield: Susanoo.

"Phew…" Suigetsu exhaled in relief, before his attention was deflected to the Inuzuka, as he emitted a sound of shock.

"W-what is this?" Kiba pointed at the incomplete skeleton that had only just saved Sasuke's life and didn't quite know if he was impressed by this shield or if he didn't much rather find it repulsive to be protected by a collection of several bones.

"Haha… I bet you'd like to know that…" Suigetsu snickered and watched with glee how an upset grimace appeared on Kiba's face, so he condescended to enlighten them after all. "Oh well, this is Susanoo. It's an ability of Sasuke's Mangekyou Sharingan – it's the ultimate shield." Suigetsu brought his attention back to Sasuke's fight, watched him attack his relative without the shield of Susanoo now. As it seemed Sasuke's Amaterasu hasn't had the desired effect on the Akatsuki, but it did have an effect on him. At least he assumed so – why else should he have gotten rid of his cloak?

There has been a reason why Sasuke had deactivated his Mangekyou now. Actually several reasons. On the one hand it consumed a lot of his energy, when he didn't have much of it left – neither energy nor time. He could already feel a certain dizziness well up in his head, very slowly, like every drop of blood he lost would add to the haze clouding his mind. That's most likely how it worked.

He had lost a lot of blood, but if Madara had really hit an organ then he wouldn't be able to keep on his feet any longer – however this upright posture didn't come as natural as only ten minutes ago. Accordingly, making use of these attacks, which demanded so much of his chakra and put so much strain on his body and most importantly reduced the time he still had left, was futile; he couldn't use these techniques when it wasn't entirely necessary – when he couldn't be entirely sure that they would succeed.

That was one of the reasons, but aside from that there were the side-effects of his Mangekyou – especially Susanoo. Not the physical side-effects, but the mental ones. The fact that it always left him with feelings of hatred; increased every negative emotion he harboured to an overwhelming extent. He could already feel himself sinking ever deeper into that spiral of hate – falling down was so very easy, but he could not be sure if once he had reached the bottom, he would be able to find his way back up. _Ever_.

That's why he would have to act with more restraint, because once he let his hatred swallow him whole, he would no longer be able to pay attention to anything else. Neither his own condition, nor that of anyone else. But this wasn't the time to care for anyone else anyway. Finally he was given a chance to make the reason for all his sufferings pay for what happened.

The right person this time.

This is what he had lived for so far. Although he had lost sight of his aim in the last year, but now he could finally see clear again. This was his chance, he would finally get his revenge, and so he couldn't allow himself to be weak and considerate.

"Impressive…" Madara murmured, with an acknowledging tone in his husky voice. "It is rare even for a Mangekyou Sharingan to be able to summon Susanoo. Your eyes will fit well in my collection."

"Tze." Sasuke gnashed his teeth in a sceptical yet challenging manner, his lips curling up in a slight sneer. He didn't bother to add any more words and let his actions speak instead.

With the shining blade of his katana raised above his shoulder, Sasuke took some quick leaps towards his opponent, his steps bringing back the pattering of water now that it had stopped raining.

He would bank on speed. He'd attack the Akatsuki with Taijutsu, trying to find patterns in his way of defending. Madara was injured as well, and he could only hope that his teleportation jutsu demanded a lot of his chakra, because in that case, he might have to rely on parrying his attacks in the common way, which would give him the chance to attack then. Or if he'd fight back, he would have a clear indication of his vulnerability at that moment and then he might have a chance.

His speed was definitely one of his greatest strengths, although with his injuries he was a bit restricted, but nevertheless he'd rely on that. With his katana in his right hand and a Chidori spear in the left one, he began assaulting his last living relative, planning not to give him a second to breathe through, to make sure he'd definitely use his transportation technique at the beginning and hopefully exhaust himself, before Sasuke himself would be too exhausted to carry on.

And his plan seemed to work out. Every single one of his high-speed attacks went right through Madara's body and as long as that was the case, he didn't need to be afraid of a counter attack. And he could see now with his Sharingan, how Madara's chakra was beginning to wane, parallel to Sasuke's own stamina – so this would be a battle of perseverance.

However Madara didn't think too highly of complying with Sasuke's plan and acting like he wanted him to. From time to time he just sunk into his surroundings, gaining a second to breathe through this way, but so did Sasuke then, so it wasn't bad altogether.

He wasn't quite sure how long their fight already lasted, he didn't think it was too long, but then with how many blows they had already exchanged it might have just as well been an hour already. The veil of rage, or maybe just a side-effect of his Doujutsu, was blurring Sasuke's vision, same as his mind, so it was hard not to lose track of time. Only as Sasuke suffered his first counter, was it that the pain managed to clear his perception to some extent.

Sasuke took a direct hit to his left shoulder, causing him to lose control of his Chidori, and so the spear suddenly vanished, but instead of activating it again, which his current condition would have made hard anyway, he at once carried on attacking with his katana. Aiming for Madara's head. The moment it had passed through his neck though, Madara extended his gloved hand to the razor sharp blade of his Kusanagi, stopping it like it was a mere cane, something that didn't have the potential of cutting his fingers off his hand.

_Doton_. He had hardened his hand via an earth release, Sasuke could clearly see that with his Sharingan, but what's important now was that he was solid.

Sasuke's eyes at once altered to their Mangekyou form and it didn't take him a single second to activate Susanoo again. Only a part though; the front of its ribcage was covering his left side, lest the Akatsuki should use his own sword to attack him, but now his incomplete Susanoo version had grown a skeleton hand which at once closed around Madara's body, squeezing him hard and he was solid enough now, for Susanoo's fingers to not pass right through him.

"Gotcha." Sasuke panted with a victorious, yet exhausted smirk on his face. He fought the urge to squint his eyes, as he felt a warm liquid pooling in it, as blood vessel after blood vessel popped. Via some sort of telekinetic connection, he could feel how Madara was squirming, like he was holding him in his very own hand and yet differently, and this feeling… the feeling of power, of absolute control, of his own supremacy, caused the slight smirk on Sasuke's lips to contort into a frightening sneer, something that rather resembled the facial expression of a crazed demon.

"Any last words?" The young Uchiha asked self-complacently, taking his time, in spite of how exhausting it was to maintain his jutsu. In spite of the way it made every single cell in his body hurt. It wasn't even a complete version yet and still it was this hard to control and already put so much strain on his body, but then this was almost over now, so he readily accepted the pain.

"You're making a mistake." The Akatsuki said in a grave tone, his voice sounding deeper, due to the fact that he was nearly being squashed to death by Sasuke's Susanoo.

"I don't think so." Sasuke negated and in that moment his chakra became darker than it had been in a very long time, maybe darker than it had ever been and he could barely recall a time when it hasn't been this way. Couldn't put a finger on when exactly it started (he didn't believe it only began during this fight) or even guess when it would end - _if_ it would end at all.

But he didn't want it to end. Not anymore. This was what he wanted, what he _needed_. Revenge was his life and nothing else – _no one_ else. The moment he had been born into the Uchiha clan, his fate had been sealed and how foolish of him to think even for a second that he could escape all this. Escape something that was obviously beyond his powers: his destiny as an avenger. His revenge was all that concerned him, all he needed, all there was to his life.

Revenge, anger, hatred and then the incomparable thrill of turning yet another name on his list into a thing of the past, the way these people turned his family into a thing of the past. A past that still haunted him to the present day and would always do so. He might have been able to close his ears to the ghosts of his past and block out their cries for justice for a short time, but not listening to them would not make them disappear. They would not disappear until the day he had made everyone pay for what happened to his family, so they could finally find their peace.

So that he could maybe find his peace one day as well.

His Susanoo grew bigger; a full ribcage with two arms now and those weren't mere bones any longer, but were covered with raw tissue. Then, without batting an eyelid, Sasuke lifted his arm and squeezed his hand into a ball, like Susanoo was controlled by his body and not his eyes. Regardless of that, it imitated his motion and with a gloomy sort of satisfaction the dark-haired man observed, how his last living relative was reduced to a surge of blood.

A crimson rain shower painted the drab scenery with specks of colour. Puddles of melted poppies adorned the loamy ground and a waft of the still strong wind carried an eerie sound, reminiscent of ragged laughter, across the battlefield, but it merged with the storm's noisy howling and became indistinguishable, which only enhanced the disturbing effect it left on everyone whose ears happened to be good enough to make it out nevertheless.

"Did he… did he really do it…?" Kiba looked from Suigetsu to Neji, at the moment forgetting about their differences, since right now all three of them were on the side of the clueless spectators.

"Hmm…" Neji emitted a doubtful sound and watched how the shield around Sasuke finally vanished, but that dark feeling he exuded was still there. Even as he sunk to his knees he didn't appear weak, but undoubtedly seemed as dangerous as ever.

Other people might have seen it as a good thing that Sasuke had apparently been able to kill Uchiha Madara – one of the founding fathers of Konoha Gakure, who is regarded as one of the strongest ninja in history. Neji, however, couldn't share that opinion. Just the thought of how powerful Sasuke must have become, in case he had really been able to defeat him, single-handed and then wounded even – Neji couldn't reconcile with _that_ at all…

And so, while Suigetsu lectured the Inuzuka about not underestimating them, Neji gathered his remaining chakra and activated his Byakugan, searching for a trace of the Akatsuki after all, although the pools of blood on the ground should be telling enough.

"Genjutsu…" Neji murmured in a low voice, while the veins circling his eyes vanished again, along with the last bit of his chakra and it wasn't only the extended version of his Doujutsu that abandoned him then, but his vision in general and suddenly the pull of gravity seemed more forceful than it usually was and he had no choice but to give in to it.

"Wha-!" Suigetsu gasped in shock and at once led his fingers together to disrupt his chakra flow, in order to free himself from the Genjutsu, in the very second that Neji dropped to the ground, but was at once tended to by the Inuzuka, although there was nothing he could do, other than making sure he wouldn't land on his injured arm.

"Shit!" Suigetsu cursed and reached for his sword, he had again fastened to his back, while he simultaneously slid down the wet earth of the crater like he was surfing. He didn't know if Sasuke hadn't heard him down there, or if he was still caught in Madara's Genjutsu without having realized so in spite of his Sharingan, but either way, the young Uchiha didn't move away or even look up, entirely unaware of the danger he was in.

Suigetsu was still a bit more than a metre away from the dark-haired man, as he saw the Akatsuki in his tattered and torn clothes materialise right behind him. He concentrated his Suiton chakra to create a wave under his feet, which surged him forward and just in time he managed to position his Decapitating Knife between Sasuke's head and his own katana, which Madara had used to attack its owner.

The Akatsuki was really strong and if Suigetsu hadn't additionally held on to the tip of his blade with his free hand, then he might have ended up hitting Sasuke with his own sword, but this way he merely slid backwards, as he tried to withstand the force of Madara's blow and shoved Sasuke along with him.

Once Sasuke rolled out of the way, Suigetsu leaped back, before he would have lost the trial of strength with the Akatsuki, which would have inevitably happened – his arms had already felt like they were about to be ripped off after merely two seconds, so he couldn't have made it much longer.

"Phew, that was a close thing, huh?" A strained smirk lifted the corners of his lips, as he glanced over his shoulder at his team-mate, who had now risen to his feet. "Isn't really like you to be this careless. Guess he's too much for you after all, huh?"

"Tze…" Sasuke narrowed his eyes angrily, before he focused his Mangekyou on his relative. "This is my fight – stay out of this…"

He walked past Suigetsu, without deigning to look at him again, whereas that one couldn't keep a flabbergasted grimace from contorting his features.

"Are you kidding?" He sulked and scowled at the back of Sasuke's head. "I dragged myself here to safe you and that's all you have to say? Pfft… fine… have it your way then…" And with that the Houzuki marched off and although his team-mate's reaction didn't surprise him, he still felt slightly offended by his lack of gratitude, but then he really wasn't used to anything different from him…

"I told you it was a mistake, didn't I?" Madara clarified his alleged last words in a boastful tone and yet there was a slight hint of exhaustion audible in his voice.

"Hn." Sasuke shrugged and did a brief nod with his head, signalling Madara to look behind him with the slightest hint of satisfaction visible in his worn out features.

Madara jerked his head around, only in time to see another Sasuke in the air behind him, his bluish gleaming hand raised in front of his body and what he also noticed was the blood dripping out of his right eye, which was the only one open at the moment and he at once knew what it meant: he had used a Genjutsu on him as well.

Sasuke's cockiness about having indicated his attack, rendered it useless. If Madara hadn't turned around, then there might have at least been a chance that he wouldn't have noticed that he was caught in Sasuke's Tsukuyomi, but this way his ambush failed in being inconspicuous and so, instead of hitting him, Sasuke's flat, Chidori-enhanced hand went right through the Akatsuki, the rest of his body following suit, until he landed in a slightly unsteady stance in front of the other man.

He tried to keep his balance, and kindly enough the Akatsuki helped him with it by reaching with his one and only arm for Sasuke's and twisting it behind his back.

"Did you really think your Sharingan would stand a chance against mine?" The Akatsuki hissed into his ear and watched how Sasuke turned his head around with a sardonic sneer on his face. Next second he was hit by something hard – they both were – and then they were also both hauled towards the very other side of the crater, until its high earth walls stopped their flight.

For a moment the Akatsuki could no longer breathe, until a coughing fit cleared his lungs enough for them to resume their work. He pushed himself back up, wondering what happened and it was just then that he noticed that Sasuke was not lying anywhere near him. He turned his head around, his mask having suffered some cracks and fissures, but it still did its job in keeping his face hidden and so no one was able to see the surprised expression appearing there, as he saw that Sasuke was still standing where he used to stand, surrounded by a full version of Susanoo.

"A double illusion…" He murmured, as he rose to his feet and instead of feeling intimidated, he rather felt a sense of thrill, of admiration, as he saw just how much Sasuke's powers had grown within this single fight, how much and palpably his hatred had increased. Not only had he been able to fool him, Uchiha Madara, with his Tsukuyomi, but he had also developed Susanoo from a mere collection of bones to an actual, armoured shape, equipped with a bow and arrows, which were now pointed at him.

Madara had been right with his observation concerning the change in Sasuke. His dark chakra regained its control again and everything he had felt before, all the worry and fear just vanished. He could no longer remember to have felt them at all. Couldn't remember what it felt like to feel anything.

Anything other than hatred.

It was a step back to his old self, to being consumed by revenge. Such a huge step that he doubted he'd ever be able to move forward again, but then he no longer felt the necessity to do so, because this step back brought him closer to being able to fulfil his destiny.

Abandoning all feelings, all emotions, led him back on a path that bestowed him with a power that sufficed to beat whoever it took and it was this knowledge which made him incapable of mourning or even so much as perceiving all the things he had lost in exchange, like he had never even possessed them. All his emotions, even a great deal of his thoughts, anything that wasn't directly related to his fight, were turned off and he could now fully concentrate on his attacks. However the growth of his strength also led him to forget that he actually fought to protect and now he only fought to kill.

The moment Madara's eyes fell on Sasuke and his version of Susanoo, it pulled back the string of his bow and let its chakra arrow fly at the Akatsuki, an attack that was impossible to evade. But whoever had stated that claim had not reckoned with someone of the calibre of Uchiha Madara. As again he exchanged the reality of this world with that of another dimension, leaving only an apparition behind, like a linking piece that would make sure the rest of him would find its way back.

Once the arrow crashed into the ground, cutting through the air which constituted the image of him, even this insubstantial apparition followed him to an unknown place and so Madara turned into the ghost he was supposed to be anyhow.

Keeping within his shield, his perfect defence, Sasuke scouted the area with his eyes in search for his enemy, all the time checking his own chakra stream, just to be on the safe side. Madara's Genjutsu had taken him by surprise and he still didn't understand how that could have happened. But in the end it had played into his own hands and he had been able to use this apparent indicator of his inattention to spin a multilayered Genjutsu around Madara, counting on his arrogance to blind him to the point of not being able to notice the trap right under his nose, just like it had been the case with him.

Yet more proof that they were relatives…

He could not know where his enemy would appear next – he never could – and yet that didn't upset him. Not anymore. There wasn't enough left in him for that. He was all detachment and cold calculation – the ideal shinobi, and as such, he kept standing within this humanoid being that was consuming his chakra in order to sustain its own existence, paying no heed to the pain searing through his nerve fibres.

The white around his eyes had long turned red – the colour that was dominating his whole appearance, but nevertheless he wouldn't allow them the relief of closing and kept pushing them to discern his target, within the blurring shapes of his surroundings.

He was playing for time.

Unlike Sasuke, Madara possessed the eternal Mangekyou, which means that his eyesight was in no danger of extinguishing like a candle in a breeze. Accordingly, he'd only have to stall a bit longer, until Sasuke would either go blind or ultimately exhaust his chakra resources and then he could strike. But then Madara was wounded as well. He had lost an entire arm after all. Same as Sasuke, he just had to suffer from the blood loss, so time wasn't on his side either.

Sasuke's eyes now did fall shut after all and once his lashes tangled together, the shield around him vanished and everything was eerily silent for a prolonged moment. A gust of wind blew around him, cooling his blood-soaked clothes, and his breath, coming out in the form of a deep sigh, joined it and was carried in whirls through the great crater, empty except for the young Uchiha and the unconscious figure of the Aburame, lying in a distant spot of the crater.

His eyes were closed, but the rest of his senses were wide open, and so he at once noticed the slight disruption in the free flow of the wind and did not need his eyes to make out the exact position of his enemy, the very second he appeared again. His trust in his own skills did not convince him of the necessity of double-checking his discovery. So, when his eyes flicked open, they didn't first search for something to focus on, but at once set on the battered figure of the masked man and the moment his lids had opened far enough to reveal the blood red shape in Sasuke's otherwise black eyes, Madara was already seized by flames.

Black ones.

They seemed to sprout out of the black in Sasuke's eyes, rather than being a product of his Mangekyou; the intensity of his glare seemed more than sufficient to ignite whatever they came across and in this case, that was the leader of Akatsuki. Once again he just vanished, but then re-appeared merely a metre beside where he had stood before. No longer burning.

"This was it for you." Madara circled his right shoulder with the injured arm, the remaining stump of which had grown even shorter in the last second.

So he had hit him, just not where he had meant to or where it would have been useful…

"You don't have any chakra left, not to mention your sight…"

The Akatsuki was right in both points. This Amaterasu had been the very last one he's had in him, his last trump, which had failed, and with the lack of chakra, he was no longer able to keep his Mangekyou active and he was barely able to keep his eyes open. They were burning like someone had poured acid into them and his vision looked like that to. There was some sort of milky film covering his eyes, making him perceive his surroundings like the world had been conquered by a vaporous white fog. Not exactly the perfect conditions for a fight…

"Since we are practically family, I'll give you a choice now. You can carry on fighting, go blind and die here or we'll break off at this point, go back to our old plans, and generous as I am, I'll even reward you with Itachi's eyes."

This proposal came as a surprise – not only to Sasuke, but also the other three present ninja, who were rather surprised about how things had turned out in general. They came here and not only had to oppose Sasuke, but also a very lively dead man, who appears to be practically invincible, but then Sasuke turns against him and now he'd maybe join his side again after all?

"I told you already I didn't want them." Sasuke said, hating the way his voice trembled, since it sounded as weak as he felt, although he wouldn't even admit that to himself and much less to anyone else.

"But that was then and this is now…" Madara shrugged, holding Sasuke's jet black eyes with his own. "And bear in mind that I have a hostage… or should I say two?" He chuckled bleakly, raising yet more questions among two of the three spectators, whereas Sasuke looked entirely unfazed.

"Tze… Look at yourself…" The young Uchiha hissed scornfully and shook his head slightly, only as much as his wounds allowed and that really wasn't much. "With all your Akatsuki dropping like flies, you must be pretty desperate… I have no use for someone like you or anything you could offer me."

"That's unfortunate." Madara remarked in a steady tone. "I guess I was wrong about you after all. I don't have any use either, for someone who lets such a chance at gaining more power slip through his fingers. You're nothing but a disappointment after all, but I guess your eyes will make up for that."

"Hmpf." Sasuke snorted. His self-confidence and most of all his pride made it impossible for him to even consider that Madara might be able to act on his threat and that although he was barely able to stand straight and could only vaguely distinguish his opponent from his surroundings – not only because he had overused his eyes to an extent that had caused his vision to deteriorate drastically, but also because he had a hard time with keeping his lids high enough to look through more than just a narrow slit at the world in front of him.

"Hm… enough fooling around then." Madara said with an audible trace of amusement in his voice, and the second his last syllable faded, so did its speaker, and Sasuke again found himself in the position to look out for his enemy, who happened to be able to travel at the speed of light. There was no point for him in trying to track him with his eyes, so he closed them, again reaching out with his other senses, while Madara's words played through his head, time and time again.

…_enough fooling around…_

He can't have been serious about that. From how much of his chakra he had used up and then all the wounds he had sustained already, there was no way that he had only played around until now. Just like Sasuke, he only pretended to do well, when that wasn't the case, but that's how it worked with people whose ego exceeded the usual limitations.

The young Uchiha leaped into the air, as he sensed how his enemy rose out of the ground at his feet, only his head and his arm that was still holding Sasuke's own katana, which he swung across the bleak earth like it was a scythe. His feet were only high enough above the ground to avoid being cut off and he tried to bring them down again as quickly as he could, aiming for Madara's head.

He was too slow.

Once his feet were back on solid ground, Madara had already vanished and Sasuke only just managed to duck down in order to avoid getting beheaded by his relative, who was now right behind him. That motion sent a painful pang through the wound in his lower back and for a moment his vision blurred even more, but then it went back to its previous degree of blurriness, which wasn't so very much better.

He kicked behind him blindly, hoping that Madara wouldn't expect this and he'd finally manage to hit him, but of course he didn't. However once his foot had gone right through the Akatsuki, he clamped Sasuke's ankle between his body and arm and whirled him around. Before he had a chance to let go, Sasuke gave up on his unsteady stance on his one leg and kicked back again, risking to face plant on the hard ground of this crater that had been pressed together by the force of his Kirin.

This time his foot did meet resistance. From the feel of it and the sharp gasp sounding from Madara, he must have kicked right into his stomach pit, before the grasp on his leg vanished and he was hauled away, managing to at least half-catch himself with his forearms, so his head didn't take any damage from the fall. He wasn't able to push up right away. Whatever motion he did, seemed to cause him pain in one body part or another. Maybe that was because his whole body was a mess and actually there was no need for any motion to make his nerves send signals of pain through even the tiniest branch of his nervous system.

His stubborn nature however didn't allow him to keep crouching there, when his enemy was still alive and far too well for his taste, so he pushed himself off the ground, unsteady and hurting, and to his great dismay he found that Madara had vanished again.

"Tsk." He gnashed his teeth. Angry at himself for having lost track of his enemy. Angry at Madara for being able to push him so far to his own limits. Angry at just about everything that had allowed this situation to occur like this. Angry that there was even a reason why he was now standing here, more dead than alive, and fought against an opponent, who had all the advantages on his side and didn't hesitate to make use of them.

With a quick movement, Sasuke loosened the bandages around his wrists, revealing purple bracelets, with a seal on them, underneath. He merely needed to touch the two black kanji and with a puff of smoke a few of the shuriken, he had stored within the sealing marks, appeared right in his hands, and it didn't take any further movement that might give away what he was doing, and so, the moment Madara appeared again, barely two metres in front of him, he hurled the razor sharp throwing stars at him.

The deficiencies of his vision didn't affect his aim and so they were all on the right course, but he could not even get close to voicing his frustration, as the Akatsuki vanished the second before they would have hit him and so each and every single one of his shuriken ended up in the high walls of the crater, where they definitely wouldn't do him any good and Madara no harm.

Once again he had no idea where his foe was and couldn't do anything but trying to spot him. However what he then saw wasn't the Akatsuki and what he then heard wasn't Madara's voice either.

What he did see then was the tip of his katana, the one he had been given by Orochimaru, but it looked all wrong, since there was no sign of its hilt, which happened to be on the other side of his body and accordingly invisible to him.

And what he heard was his own voice, a gasp, accompanied by a slight wail, not produced by his vocal chords, though, which didn't feel like they were even capable any longer of producing any sounds. It came from his lungs, or rather the one lung, which Madara had only just pierced with his katana.

He pulled the crystal clear blade out of Sasuke's chest again and there was a sound, reminiscent of that of wind howling through an abandoned house, whenever the air entered or exited his damaged lungs, not only through the designated orifices, but also an additional one now, one that wasn't supposed to be there and that was sure to end up as his downfall, sooner or later.

He'd bank on sooner.

Unlike the first time Madara stabbed him, this time it was a life threatening wound. Although it was only one half of his lungs, he still needed it to keep on breathing, it was necessary to transport oxygen into every single cell of his body, but now it was only bleeding and very much so. It was weird, paradoxical, but while his blood ran out of the hole in his chest, it simultaneously rose in his throat and he had to repress the urge to gag and keep himself from panicking, as it became impossible for him to breathe through his mouth and he had to remind himself that his nose would have to do.

This was neither the place nor the time for analysing, or submitting to his injuries, so he got a grip on himself, ignored the feeling of life seeping out of him, or the sound of the blood undulating in his lungs and instead focused on the feel of the last shuriken he had left in his hand, the one he was holding so tightly that it had cut into his palm, and with a flick of his fingers, he hurled it over his shoulder, intending to hit Madara's eye, which was the best and only thing he could think of right now.

However the plan he had laid out in his mind and reality didn't exactly correspond. He was even weaker than he would have assumed. It was either that or his shuriken weighed about ten times as much as it usually did, which might explain why he was barely able to lift his arm and why his weapon didn't hit Madara's eye, but rather dropped on his shoulder.

This time the Akatsuki didn't even bother to dodge and just let the shuriken fall on his shoulder, before it landed with an audible clank on the ground, the only sound there was at the moment. A cool wind blew past them, but the air was still heavy with humidity, which suppressed its oxygen content, so it was even harder to breathe for the young Uchiha.

"_Any last words_?" Madara imitated his relative, now that he had turned the tables, but even if Sasuke should have had something to say, the words would hardly get past the blood in his throat.

Then another thing happened.

Sasuke was suddenly pushed to the front. Not violently or anything, he wouldn't even say he had been pushed by _someone_ and then there was a rushing, which he first mistook for the rushing of his own blood, but soon he noticed that it had an exterior source.

He slowly turned around, so he wouldn't run the risk of being overtaken by dizziness and what he saw behind him was no longer the Akatsuki, at least not directly, but a great sphere of water with Madara trapped inside it. His onyx eyes wandered lower to the ground, where he saw Suigetsu's upper half reach out of one of the shallow puddles there were down here in the crater, his arm half-way inside the oversized bubble.

_Suirô no Jutsu._

He had trapped Madara within a prison of water and now that he found Sasuke looking at him, the white-haired man cracked a strained smile. "I don't care what you say – you can't do this alone."

"Hn." Sasuke nodded half-heartedly, a gesture which was copied by the Houzuki, before he fastened his clear violet eyes on their enemy again, his features hardened with concentration.

The dark-haired man didn't even have it in him to protest anymore. He might have tried but he was sure that his vocal chords would fall apart at the attempt and aside from that Suigetsu was right, but Sasuke still didn't like it.

This was _his_ fight.

_His_ enemy.

_His_ revenge.

He didn't want anyone else to take that away from him, in spite of his current condition. He couldn't let someone else do this for him and it's not like anyone could. If there was one person who could kill Uchiha Madara then it was him. Only someone with a Sharingan of his own could withstand a Sharingan.

There was no use. He did have a little amount of chakra left – that tiny part his body needed to keep functioning, but damn it, he'd die one way or the other, so he'd at least make sure to take Madara with him.

"Release him." Sasuke gurgled, fully ignoring the blood running out of his mouth, the moment he had only parted his lips a little.

"Damn it! Could you come off your ego trip for a second and-" The Houzuki stopped once his eyes met Sasuke's Mangekyou and he saw the grim determination in them, but also the degree of exhaustion and he knew at once what Sasuke was about to do. Knew what would happen once he put his plans into action. Knew that he couldn't make him change his mind and if he hesitated any longer he would thwart Sasuke's plan.

It was with a good load of reluctance, that Suigetsu pulled his arm back, freeing the Akatsuki from his jutsu and the moment the bubble of water around Madara burst, he was engulfed by a similarly shaped orb of black flames, big enough to cover every single inch of his body.

Sasuke's eyes turned entirely black again, the moment they had ignited their visual focus. However they did not do so because he wanted them to, but because that had been it for him. If Suigetsu had faltered only a second longer, he wouldn't have made it at all, but that didn't matter now, because in the end it worked out.

Now, with the Akatsuki burning, fully burning and not just his cloak or arm, he pressed his hands against his eyes, which was no good, because with his eyes closed the world suddenly started swaying and spinning, like he was sitting in a merry-go-round on deck of a ship, which was caught in a turbulent waters. And if that wasn't enough, with his eyes closed, Sasuke did not see how the ball of black flames collapsed and was reduced to a simple flame, burning on top of one of the puddles that were littering the terrain and hadn't yet managed to soak into the ground.

Only when he heard a cacophony of voices, did he force up his heavy lids, but couldn't quite stop his surroundings from spinning. It weren't celebratory tones, nowhere close to that, and yet he wasn't able to make out the underlying emotions of what he heard and neither was he able to attach any meaning to the words passing his ears.

What he did then was trying to trace the speaker with his eyes, but by now he wasn't even able to discern shapes any longer. To him the world looked like an aquarelle painting, his vision reduced to bleared specks of colour, but his mind was still sharp enough to puzzle the colours together and create images of what was in front of him. Of _who_ was in front of him and that were Suigetsu and Madara.

_Madara_; the orange of his mask left no doubt about it. He was still alive and he wasn't burning and now Suigetsu was trying to keep him away from him. His team-mate was fighting him all by himself, when he was the one who should have fought him. The one who should have killed him, no matter what the cost, but it was too late now.

He's only had one aim in life and now he would die without having accomplished it, which rendered his entire existence meaningless and he had missed his chance to change that. It was too late for him now.

He had failed.

And here he fell to his knees, all alone, and he knew that all he had ever done had led to this very moment. Knew that it was the only fitting end for him. Him, the man who ever so often betrayed the people who were dear to him. Him, who never truly learnt what it's like to open up to someone, to lower his guard, to smile, to truly love, to quit being selfish.

-_Yes_.

This was the only possible end for him. _Alone_. Left by the people he had left before and yet some small, subdued part of him was raging about the unfairness. About the fact that he's never had a chance. The fact that he has never learnt or maybe just forgotten what it's like to not be alone. To not be all by himself.

He had been too young to understand, too young to cope, too young to be on his own and the pain had cut too deep. It had infected so much of his psyche that he hadn't even perceived it anymore. Had no longer realized that being in pain wasn't a normal condition. Had just taken it for granted without questioning it.

However not now.

With all his senses fading away, it was easy to focus on the overwhelming anguish. A pain he had never really been able to let go of, but that was altering now. The pain of being left behind was now complimented by the pain of leaving behind, was enhanced by the knowledge that even in death he would only cause anguish to other people. The knowledge that he could never do anything right.

Frustration welled up, as, after an endlessly long seeming moment, his knees reached the soggy ground, sending a slight shatter through his damaged bones that made him aware of even the tiniest wound littering his body. Felt an unpleasant remnant of life in him after all.

He caught himself with his hands, because if he did not, he would inevitably be reduced to a tangle of charred skin, scorched nerves, brittle bones and… and so many unfulfilled intentions…

So many things he had wanted to do and now he couldn't. The only thing he could do at the moment was kneel here, using up his last spark of energy in his pointless reflections and his attempts at keeping upright. At not lying and dying here, alone in the mud like a broken toy soldier; a left behind piece of some boy's childhood.

Maybe his own.

He has always been alone. In spite of all the people around him, because he had never allowed them to get between him and his self-imposed solitude. A sense of solitude and isolation he had embraced like a lifebuoy. Something to get him though the turbulent waters of life. A kind of life he would have never chosen for himself, if only he's had a say in it, but he hadn't and so he had just surrendered to it.

Funny that he was always thought to be powerful – had even thought so himself – when that was the very thing he wasn't. When he has always been powerless. Was still the same little boy that hadn't done anything but watch as his whole world fell apart.

Against his resolution, he turned into a piece of a broken childhood after all. He no longer managed to withstand the force of gravity or ignore the voice of death calling for him, and burdened with regret as he was, his shaking arms finally buckled under his weight and gave way. It was without any physical pain, but an internal anguish he could never get close to express, that his head landed on the ground, but his eyes would not close and so he could see himself fading from this world – only that it looked like the world was fading from _him_.

It was peculiar how something in motion could look so static, how something so loud could sound so muffled, how all the colours could just pale away, when in reality it were his thoughts that paled away. But then there was something red and he recognized it at once, recognized _her_ at once, but some part of his brain convinced him of the wrongness of her being here and so he didn't quite understand. Didn't understand why she was here. Didn't understand the words flying out of her parted lips. Didn't understand the peculiar contortion of her features.

Didn't understand any of this at all.

Fear? Joy? Anger? Not even that he could tell and he wasn't really sure if that was an ability he had only just lost or if it was a disability he harboured, ever since that day he had unconsciously allowed a part of his self to lie down and die. The part that would have caused him endless pain back then. A part that might have endowed him with long forgotten pleasures afterwards. A part he had always considered as weakness and what a sad irony it was that in his last moment, he finally realized that this wasn't it.

Wasn't it at all.

The colours blurred away quickly, but this time there was no dizziness. Brown was blending into grey and there was again the red – her red hair, her red eyes on pale skin. There was no doubt that it was her.

Then something soft touched his ever so cold lips.

Something warm filled the cavity of his mouth.

Pure, liquefied life ran down his throat.

Second by second he was growing stronger and everything was coming back to him now, or so he thought, but far too soon he realized that the cure was only restricted to his body. With his physical condition getting better and his faculties returning, it became impossible for Sasuke not to notice the emptiness, whose existence he had at last acknowledged in the moment of his presumed death. And now it was there, the way it has always been there and yet he no longer knew how to deal with it.

Deal with ten years worth of suppressed pain.

His vision began clearing; the colours became stronger, more distinct, and after some time he was able to see some details. See Karin's face hovering there above his, see her pain-stricken features, but it wasn't the same as before, not quite as clear. His vision would never be the same again, but it was still better than he would have imagined, considering the strain he had put on his eyes.

At length he noticed that his teeth were still sunken in the skin of Karin's arm; that he was still draining her off her chakra, but he didn't stop at once. Not before he had regained enough energy to carry on and his wounds were healed to the point of not affecting him any longer. Once that was the case, he drew his teeth out of Karin's forearm and sat up, his mind still clouded by the after-effects of the blood loss or maybe it was the abundance of new blood – blood that was _not_ his own.

Karin's ragged breathing sounded in his ear, whereas Sasuke's own breathing had calmed at last and his eyes not once halted on his team-mate, who had only just saved his life and was now suffering the consequences for her help. Without any hesitation they wandered to the scene of battle, to the point where Suigetsu and Kiba were fighting Madara and without any display of gratitude, he rose to his feet, leaving Karin sit there on the ground, exhausted and disappointed about his lack of appreciation.

His near death had ended the reign of his dark chakra, slowly but surely, and yet some things still remained lost to him even afterwards and he mainly felt empty, like everything that constituted his being had leaked out with his blood, the very essence of his life and the substitute from Karin just wouldn't do. It could heal his physical wounds, but it couldn't do anything about the gashes in his psyche and for a moment he didn't know what to do.

He knew that he should pick up where he left off. That he should join the battle, now that he was healed sufficiently. But he no longer knew what he was fighting for. Couldn't relate to any of the things he had felt in the past. Felt in the time preceding his _almost_ end.

There was nothing left. No anger, no grief, no hate – just a gaping hole sprawling across all the sections which used to form his character, both the positive as well as the negative sides. He didn't even know just what he was doing here, but he was sure still that there has been a reason. There must have been a reason and so he couldn't just stand here and wait for things to come back to him, but chase after them himself.

Still he could not be entirely sure if these things were really worth chasing after.

"Nevermind, Sasuke!" Karin called out, once the dark-haired man took his first step towards the battle field, but the sarcasm in her voice didn't get past her heavy breathing.

He had practically been dead already, so it had taken a lot of her chakra to fix him up again and now she was the one who could need fixing, but he wouldn't even accommodate her with a single warm word. Not a single look of his usually so breathtaking eyes. They weren't now, though. They were too cold, too empty, too—

-too void of _anything_ to take her breath away any longer.

Maybe she had been too late after all…

As Karin was left sitting on the ground, Sasuke slowly made his way to his enemy. He did remember why he was fighting him, remembered all the things leading up to this situation – he just wasn't able to relate to them anymore. His own past – his own _life_ – seemed so distant now, like it wasn't a part of him, but rather something he heard or read about. Something he knew in full detail, but that wasn't able to stir any feelings inside his chest. And that is why he could not relate to any of the things he had felt in the last—

-had felt _ever_.

But he knew how to change that. He knew what he would have to do to re-evoke the feelings of hatred – to become who he used to be again. He just didn't know if he really wanted that.

None of this changed anything about the fact that this was still _his_ fight. _His_ enemy. _His_ revenge. And with that in mind it was impossible for him to not do what he had to do; to not use this chance to make up for previous failure.

Uchiha Sasuke had only just been given a second chance to return the meaning to his life and he couldn't permit himself to forfeit that chance.

Suigetsu and Kiba didn't seem to be up to the situation, but it's not like that came as a surprise – not with the opponent they were facing, who was in spite of his injuries still way too much for the two of them. Suigetsu was trying to match Madara's speed by using all the water covering the ground and although he was often close, very much so even, he never quite managed to catch him.

Kiba was even farther from that. Now that he was alone, his attacks were rather easy to dodge, even for someone who wasn't able to use space-time ninjutsu, such as Madara did.

With his head cleared of any emotions, you should think that Sasuke wouldn't have much difficulty with coming up with something to do now, but it was the contrary. His head still felt somewhat numb, dazed, and that made it hard, but he knew he'd have to act before they'd notice that he was back on his feet again. They must have seen Karin come here, so they probably knew that she had healed him, which meant he only had a few seconds left in case he wanted to surprise them. Surprise Madara.

He came to a halt, still really close to where he had fallen, still close to his female team-mate, who was watching his every movement, a little puzzled about his hesitance, about his behaviour in general.

It was slowly, maybe tentatively after all, that Sasuke's lids fell over the dead embers that were his eyes. The remainders of indecision burdened his lids like lead weights and kept him from opening them right away.

But there was something.

There was still this stinging in his cheek, right were Naruto had hit him with his claw. The cuts that have been poisoned with the Kyuubi's chakra and that haven't been healed by his team-mate. These kinds of injuries were obviously beyond what she was able to do and right now he was glad about it, because this pain gave him something to hold on to, something to weigh him down and keep him grounded.

Karin was right, when she discerned hesitance in his movements, but in the end his past determination, regardless of how distant it appeared to him at this point of time, won the fight over his doubts and so his eyes opened after all, revealing new fire in the beforehand dead embers.

And here it came. Just like he had thought, his Mangekyou brought back these negative feelings. Brought back the feelings of hatred and revenge and at length also guilt. Overwhelming guilt. They were slowly creeping up on him, like tiny ants crawling up his toes that were bare and over every single stretch of his skin until they centred on his eyes, which were tingling now like the rest of him, first just lightly, but with every further second it became stronger, stinging like they were eating their way through his eyeballs.

Maybe they hadn't heard yet that he was not dead.

The slight pain, the stinging, incited him, because feeling pain was better than feeling numb and feeling angry was better than feeling nothing. He'd make that his mantra, at least for now, and with that in mind, he directed his strongest weapon at his last living relative, who happened to be his greatest enemy and joined the battle.

One more time and he would personally make sure that it would be the last time. He had to, and yet there was something inside him, appealing to his sanity. A small subdued voice pleading and begging him to stop, getting louder and more urgent by the second.

Something inside him threatened to listen to it, to grant its request.

Sasuke made sure it wouldn't.

…

…


	40. and so it ends

**40. …****and so it ends.**

Something must have happened.

Only about a minute ago, Karin had finally caught up to her, which wasn't exactly surprising, considering how slowly she got ahead. The redhead had halted right in front of her, blocking her way and from the look on her face she had been sure she'd pay her back for the blow from before.

So much to never seeing her again…

However in the end she hadn't really done anything. She had parted her lips to say something and judging from how she had narrowed her deep red eyes into slits, so the white in them had no longer been visible, she was sure it would be no compliment. She had exhaled noisily, almost like a snarl, and Sayuri had just waited for flames to fly out of her mouth; from how furious she had looked, she wouldn't have put it past her. However before either words or flames exited her lips, she had suddenly jerked her head around and the fury had at once been replaced by shock. Deep, profound shock, and before Sayuri even had a chance to ask her what was going on, Karin had already spun around and rushed off into the direction the noise was coming from, leaving Sayuri stand there, shocked herself, but for an up to that point unknown reason.

She had kept standing there for maybe five seconds, maybe a minute, maybe longer, she really didn't know. But while she had been motionless on the outside, the gears in her brain had worked at full speed, anxiety battling reason, but before the outcome had been determined, she had run after her, towards the source of the noise.

With every step taking her closer to them, it became harder for her to breathe, not because of exhaustion, not primary at least, but it was the fear that was expanding in her chest like an inflating balloon, pressuring her ribcage to the point of bursting. Maybe that would have been good, because what better excuse was there to not face whatever was going on there, than an exploded chest?

Nevertheless she kept going.

There was so much noise now and with the storm having subsided, she could no longer seek comfort in telling herself it was only thunder. But then as long as there was noise coming from them, it meant they were still fighting and as long as they were still fighting they couldn't be dead. At least not all of them… But they had to be wounded, or at least Sasuke had to be wounded. Otherwise Karin wouldn't have missed out on the chance of taking revenge on her for the blow, she had given her earlier, although that has been an act of revenge as well.

It wasn't raining any longer, but the sky was still covered with dark clouds and only about two-hundred metres in the distance, she could see narrow trails of smoke spiral into the sky, looking like colossal pillars supporting the heavy cloud cover, like it was a celestial roof.

She was almost there and the balloon kept growing, squeezing every bit of oxygen out of her lungs. She could taste anxiety, heavy on her tongue. A bitter taste, sickening her to the core of her stomach, but she was too focused, too stunned by what was in front of her to pay any attention to her internal processes, regardless of how unpleasant they were. And they really were…

But there in front of her, only a hundred metres now, was a huge dried out sea, only that it was really a crater. One that was so big that she couldn't take it in fully without having to turn her head, and she'd bet all her money that it hasn't been there, just before they had chosen this harmless stretch of land as their battle ground. And if the dimensions of the damage they had done to the landscape wouldn't suffice to make the fear catapult her into dizzying spheres of apprehension and foreboding, than the lifeless figure, lying on a slight hill only a good ten metres away from the edge of the crater, surely did the job.

_It is orange_- was all she could think and that discovery alone was telling enough and made a more-detailed view of who was in front of her unnecessary.

Swallowing down the bitter, and not to forget _huge_ lump in her throat, Sayuri finally reached the man in the orange jumpsuit with the brown and crimson stains and at once found her greatest fear affirmed: it really was Naruto.

Her steps slowed down, the fear for her friend's life becoming almost palpable – a corporeal hindrance like an almost solid wall of gravity that was keeping them separated and when, at the beginning, she had still made at least a little progress, she now came to a full stop, still a few steps away from her team-mate, whom she now scrutinized anxiously.

This wasn't like Naruto. Naruto wouldn't just lie on the ground, when they were fighting there. If there was even the faintest trace of energy left in him than he would fight, unless—

-_unless_ there was no energy left in him.

For a moment – a moment that hasn't yet found an end – everything around her suddenly vanished, paled into insignificance, until everything was black. A soft click went off in her head and everything became _really_ quiet. All the noise going on around her was lost to her, and there was nothing but the rhythmic beating of her own heart, being hauled at her from all sides, like she was standing in the middle of an amphitheatre and the speakers echoed her heartbeat like oversized stethoscopes. And here she stood now, deaf for anything but her own heart, blind for anything but the body of her team-mate and she only watched and watched, but didn't do anything.

Couldn't do anything.

His posture looked so weird. He was lying on his side, all stiff and straight, except for his arms. His upper arms were drawn close to his upper body, but they were bent at his elbows at an angle of 90 degrees, so he looked like a robot. Such a posture had to be really straining, because the arm on the upper side of him didn't touch the ground and just stuck out in the air, and a position like this could definitely not be kept by an unconscious person.

_Rigor mortis_.

That term flared up in her head like a match, but the flame was too small to withstand the breath of logic.

It takes a couple of hours after the moment of death for the limbs of a dead person to become stiff and their fight had definitely not started hours ago, so this was impossible. Even so that didn't necessarily mean he was alive…

But he couldn't be dead. He was Naruto. The one who always ended up on his feet, no matter what happened. The one who had turned from Konoha Gakure's Number One Knucklehead Ninja into its unofficial hero.

And heroes didn't die.

At least not before all their battles were fought, and they weren't yet, and so he could not be dead.

With that in mind, Sayuri finally managed to conquer the fear that had twined like vines around her limbs and kept her from moving and now she covered the last steps towards her team-mate and ended up in a crouch, right in front of his head.

His face was covered with his blonde hair, dirt and blood. So much blood and then only raw flesh underneath – there seemed to be no bit of his skin left. She knew the kind of wounds he had suffered, she had seen that before – it was a result of his fox-cloak, the venomous chakra of the Kyuubi. He definitely looked more dead than alive, but couldn't she see some movement there? Couldn't she see some strands of his hair flap back and forth right under his nose? Was it his breath, the wind or maybe just her imagination…? And wasn't there a soft pulsing – the slightest up and down movement at his neck? Could it really all be her imagination?

With all these impressions flooding her, threatening to drown her sanity, it was not surprising that Sayuri lost track of time and forgot that she was actually in a hurry and so it was really slowly that she reached out her hand to Naruto's neck, tentatively leading her index and middle finger to his carotid. Her greyish blue eyes were firmly shut in the moment that her fingers touched the skin of the blonde man, who was a mixture of a big and a little brother to her. Someone she didn't want to lose at any rate.

_It's so cold_ – she thought, resisting the urge to jerk her hand right back, which would have then led her to miss the slow but steady beat underneath her fingertips, which would have then in turn caused her to torture herself even longer, so she was really glad that she had been brave for once in her life.

He was alive!

Without wasting another second – neither on worrying about his condition, nor rejoicing in his being alive – Sayuri placed her hands on his forehead and the side of his face, not daring to move him yet. A bright green light appeared under her palms and bathed Naruto's face in an unhealthy glow, when that was the very thing it wasn't. His skin slowly recovered, cell by cell, but his face was still covered with blood, so the difference was hard to spot. Nevertheless she could feel him getting stronger and at length his lids fluttered open, only enough for her to see a narrow streak of blue, like that thin line that keeps the ocean from bleeding into the sky.

As it seemed it wasn't as bad as the sight of him would have led to think. At least the wounds on his face and his head were only shallow and she had almost healed them by now and he was conscious again. To some extent… His eyes were open alright, but she doubted he was seeing anything.

Not yet…

Nevertheless he kept her worried. Although his wounds, which have been shallow to begin with, were almost completely healed, he was still weak and it wasn't getting better. He didn't seem to respond to her chakra, which was actually impossible, since if that had really been the case, then she wouldn't have been able to heal him. She couldn't make sense of it and then he was still lying there in that weird posture, as stiff as he had been before and even as she tried to move his arms, they just wouldn't budge.

Like he was a statue; a bloody war memorial of a fallen soldier.

To have a better view of his injuries, she turned him around on his back now and there he lay, with his arms stretched out like he was holding an invisible package that was so valuable that not even his poor condition made him let go of it. He has always been unnervingly stubborn, but in this special case it probably wasn't his headstrong nature that made him act this way.

"S-Sayuri-chan…?" He stuttered, barely getting his lips apart as he attempted to speak and not a single muscle in his face moved, like the words had been produced by his mere thoughts, instead of his mouth. "You're… alive…"

"Of course I am." Sayuri nodded, a small smile softening her concentrated features. It was so good to hear his voice, so good to know he was okay, so good to finally see another well-disposed face, a face different from the few she had seen in the last two weeks, regardless of the circumstances and the appearance disguising it.

"Hm." Naruto snorted briefly and closed his eyes. "I knew he couldn't do it." The corners of his lips rose up ever so little as his apparently frozen features allowed, and if Sayuri hadn't known it better, she'd say he looked smug. Maybe she didn't know it better…

A light frown creased her brows, as she tried to find any relation between his words and his expression, tried to find some meaning in his words in the first place. While she pondered this, she kept on healing him and much to her relief the wounds scattered across the lower part of his body were rather minor and except for treating his right hand, there wasn't much for her to do any more and yet he seemed hardly better from how he had been as she had begun her treatment.

"What happened to you? Why can't you move? Or can you…?" Sayuri asked, hoping for the blonde to have an answer at the ready that could conquer her own cluelessness and give her an idea as to how to deal with him.

"Don't know…" His voice was really low, but Sayuri had blocked out their surroundings to the point that she was entirely unaware of the noise going on around them and therefore she heard him without any difficulties.

"I… I wasn't myself…" The blonde added, his voice even lower this time and his glazed blue eyes turned to the side now, staring off into the distance as if in shame. Shame about having lost control. Shame about having given in to the monster in him. Shame about lying here now, when they probably needed him down there.…

_Damn it_—he thought and pressed his eyes shut after all, as he felt a mixture of frustration and panic crawl across him, the way shadows did, the moment a cloud drew itself across the face of the sun.

Sayuri did not fail to notice the change in his countenance, could see the lines of worry drawing across his face and it was with great effort that she forced herself to stay concentrated and postpone cheering up her friend for later, when she had found a way to fix him and more importantly found the right words to cheer him, which were unreachable to her for the time being. If they weren't, she would have long tested them on herself already.

The best she could do for him now, was take care of his physical condition and since that wasn't exactly easy, this task would need her full, undivided attention. She had noticed quite a few things already. Usually healing Naruto was a piece of cake, since the Kyuubi's chakra would always aid her with healing his wounds and so she barely needed her own chakra, but not so now. This time she neither got aid by the Kyuubi's, nor Naruto's own chakra, which made it rather arduous.

She had taken care of all his major wounds and so she was now sitting with her hands in the middle of his chest, his slow but steady heartbeat right under her palms, trying to share her own chakra with him, but it didn't work. It just wouldn't stay in his system, like he was accommodating a black hole within his torso. Her chakra was absorbed by him, but a second later it was gone again and it didn't just come back to her, so she had no idea just where it went to or what happened to it.

That must have been Madara's doing. Who else would have done such a thing? Who else _could _do such a thing?

Truth be told, there was another person she deemed capable of perpetrating such a malefaction, but she tried hard to keep the image of _that_ person from stepping out of the shadows of her chosen delinquent – the man she universally blamed for every bad thing that ever happened or will happen on this planet, just because being convicted for such a global and timeless crime would serve him just about right.

This was no good. Although she tried hard not to see Sasuke's face in front of her mind's eye, she could feel how his name made its way up her throat, pressing against her gritted teeth, like her body wanted to altogether rid itself of every memory connected to him.

It was impossible for her to put into words just how much pain he caused her and she didn't want to think about it all the same. Couldn't bear to waste a single thought on him and all he had done or not done. But from a rational point of view he could have been the one to do this. With his Mangekyou he was able to control the Kyuubi, so maybe this is what happened here. He had done something that was terminating every bit of chakra in Naruto's body and would in the long term cause his organs to fail one by one.

It would kill him.

A slow, painful death, but only if the Akatsuki wasn't faster with extracting the Bijû, which would lead to his death as well and it would probably be painful all the same. Whatever their plan was, Naruto played an important, but only brief role in it and she just didn't know what to do about it. And all of this only because… _only because_…

She clenched her teeth even tighter, until they scraped painfully, keeping his name where it was, but once it finally died right there on her tongue, something much worse escaped her. _Tears_.

"I really hoped it wouldn't come to this…" Sayuri snivelled, feeling the need to let out all the guilt, she was feeling about her own helplessness. Indirectly she was to blame for what was happening right now as well, because she has not been able to get through to Sasuke and neither was she able to save Naruto right now.

She was useless.

The first big teardrop splashed on Naruto's cheek and lay there for a moment, looking like an emerald in the green glow of her chakra. Once it rolled down the side of his face, drawing a wet trail through the already dried blood covering his skin, his deep blue eyes fluttered open and there was just as much pain flooding them as there had to be in Sayuri's very own eyes, only that they also contained a trace of something warm, something not yet hopeless as it was the case with hers.

"Hey…" He murmured softly, breathing in and out deeply, totally drained by the effort of keeping his eyes open, but he did, because that was all he could do in his current condition to comfort his friend.

"I-I really tried to stop him, but he… but he just wouldn't listen… He never listens…" She bit into her bottom lip to suppress a sob and tried to fully concentrate on healing him, although she knew by now that it was pointless, but this way she at least felt like she was contributing her part to fight her own uselessness. Up to this point she hasn't been able to do anything productive and she had no choice but to come to terms with yet another marble of inefficiency in her already far too big collection, but not so Naruto.

Everyone always relied on him, burdened him with the most impossible tasks and although it was rather unfair just how much responsibility he always carried around with him, it was okay, because if there was one person who could deal with it, then it was Naruto.

If there was one person who could at least lead this story into the direction of a happy end, then it was Naruto and so all she could do was trust in him and try to find a way to fix him and therewith do her bit to guide this situation towards a positive outcome.

"Madara is dangerous. You need to stop him. He plans to destroy Konoha and he… and Sasuke he…" She paused, letting her head sink between her hunched shoulders. His name left such a bitter taste on her tongue, like it was long decayed already and she had to fight the urge to retch, because otherwise she wouldn't be able to pass this important information to the Uzumaki. "Madara manipulated him, just so that he would do the work for him and now he thinks it is his own fight."

"B-but… Sasuke is fighting him…" Naruto mumbled, still barely able to produce clear sounds, but nevertheless the contents of his words have been all too clear and now a shocked expression manifested on Sayuri's face, her reddened eyes widened to their fullest extent.

"_What_?" Her mouth stood agape and now she cocked her head up, for the first time turning her face into the direction of the battlefield, but there wasn't so much she could see from here.

"Hm." The blonde finally emitted an agreeing sound, since nodding wasn't possible for him.

"…I-I'm so sorry Naruto, but there is nothing I can do for you." She apologised, her face contorted in a grimace that perfectly displayed her inner turmoil. She was torn inside between staying here with Naruto, wasting yet more time and chakra on trying to heal him, when that was obviously beyond her power and going to them and seeing with her own eyes, if Naruto had really spoken the truth. She didn't know why he should lie to her, but with everything that happened, she couldn't believe that Sasuke would change his mind just like that. She had tried so much, but he hasn't even wavered with his decision, so why now? How was that even possible?

It was with that question in mind that she rose to her feet and after casting another apologetic look at the blonde, which was met by an understanding one, she leaped off the slight slope of the terrain and ran straight to the edge of the crater, her eyes at once taking in the scene, only about ten metres underneath her.

As if led by an invisible force, her eyes at once found their way to Sasuke, barely taking in any of the other people that were there with him. The dark-haired man stood in the middle of the crater, his face turned in her direction, but focused to low to actually see her. His clothes were torn, bloody, and so was his skin and yet he stood upright with his head held high, as though the pain didn't affect him. Not even in such a predicament would he allow other people to catch a glimpse of his weakness; proud through and through.

Although Sayuri couldn't quite understand why, seeing him like this, seeing him hurt, caused something in her chest to go astray. Pieces of her were beginning to crumble, trying to assimilate to his condition and she perceived a slight sting, not quite his pain, but not hers either, as parts of the walls she had built around her heart, to shield it from this very man, dropped in fragments to her feet. Brick by painful brick, crashing to the ground with a clatter and a thud. Only that these sounds weren't produced by the scraps of her not exactly solid defences, as they crumbled to the soggy ground, but by the clashing of weapons against weapons, by bodies crashing to the ground, by showers of debris, being caused by the force of numerous explosions or other attacks of that kind.

It was with a considerable amount of restraint that Sayuri expanded her observation, as to take in more of the scene in front of her than only the man, who was the reason for her being here in the first place, and there were the others, Suigetsu and Kiba, standing on the same side as Sasuke with their faces turned into the same direction, the direction of Madara and in the back she also saw Karin, apparently the only one who had noticed her up till now. The only one who was facing the other way was a severely wounded Madara.

The only one left on the side of the enemies.

Her heart picked up its pace and she forbad her lips to curve up into a smile, as she realized that things weren't yet lost after all. That _he_ wasn't lost yet. Now he only had to survive and then… and then…

Why were there only the three of them anyway? Didn't Karin mention Shino's and Neji's name as well? But where were they? What happened to them?

Her gaze trailed off to the redhead again and was at once met by a pair of deep red eyes. They exchanged a nod in awareness of how the situation had shifted, knowing what it meant or what it could mean.

"_I love who he used to be."_

Maybe, with a lot of luck, they would get that person back. In case she wasn't misinterpreting the situation and she was almost tempted to believe so, because she did by no means miss the grim expression on Karin's face. She had seen more of the fight than her, and her ability allowed her to read a person's chakra, read the emotions in it and as it seemed, whatever she sensed in Sasuke's chakra did anything but put her at ease.

Sayuri unlocked her eyes from Karin's again and searched for something that might explain what the other woman was feeling at the moment, why she was not glad about this turn of events, and so her attention was drawn back to the scene of action.

Kiba was rushing ahead now, straight towards Madara, whereas Suigetsu came at him from behind, Sasuke was the only one who didn't budge, which appeared weird with all the motion going on around him. Now she also saw Shino, but it was a sight she hadn't been prepared for. He was just lying on the ground, entirely motionless, when they were fighting there, not even far away and although she tried to banish these thoughts from her mind, she just couldn't convince herself that he was not dead. That he did not die, because she was sure that in case he was still alive, they would have gotten him out of harm's way. She could only hope she was wrong…

Kiba was still a good distance away from the Akatsuki, but Suigetsu had almost reached him and now he lifted his sword and aimed its broad blade at their common enemy, but before it could hit him, the Akatsuki just vanished.

Then there was finally some motion in Sasuke. He lifted his arm and in less than a second a bluish gleaming shaft of light extended from his flat hand straight towards the point where Madara had only just reappeared, going straight through his chest, but not only that. It also cut into Kiba's side and would have also grazed his arm if he hadn't raised it while he was running and now the Inuzuka fell to the ground, letting out a pained outcry.

That hasn't been necessary. Sasuke would have only had to move his hand a bit and then his Chidori would have missed Kiba and still hit Madara, but he hadn't done so. Why hadn't he done so?

"You damn…" Kiba hissed, clutching his ribcage tightly, with his head turned around, turned to look into Sasuke's face and his cold black eyes. Even from here Sayuri could see just how cold they were and it sent chills up and down her spine, like the sight of his expression had turned her blood cells to ice and she couldn't detect a trace of excitement about seeing that he had pierced the Akatsuki.

"I told you not to get in my way." Sasuke retorted, no hint of emotions in his husky voice, and without paying another glance at the Inuzuka, he moved to the front, his Chidori Spear growing shorter as he approached his enemy.

His walk was weird. There was a certain unsteadiness about his steps, a way he waited, until his feet were standing firmly on the ground before he went for his next step. It was a way of walking she often saw dizzy people rely on, people who were afraid to brave gravity the way healthy people did, lest they should lose the battle and be unable to recover from it.

So this was the real extent of the injuries he pretended not to be subjected to…

The dark-haired man came to a halt, only about three metres away from his last living relative, who hadn't moved yet, maybe paralysed by the electricity running through his body, maybe paralysed by the knowledge that his unnaturally long life was about to end in a moment or two. Sasuke's arm quivered a little, weakened by the effort of staying extended without support, but Sasuke's head remained high, his shoulders square and then his eyes narrowed slightly and in that moment many additional lances shot out of the peak of Sasuke's spear, like branches of a tree, piercing Madara's body at multiple places.

"Not bad…" The Akatsuki murmured and looked down at the damage done to his body, his voice sounding far too clear and steady in consideration of what must have happened to his lungs, his vocal chords, his larynx… Then he just vanished again, just like that and a second later she saw Sasuke fly to the front, the Akatsuki standing behind him, his leg still held up from the kick he had only just delivered to Sasuke's lower back.

Sayuri tried to suppress a sharp gasp, but it escaped her throat anyway and she couldn't do anything but watch as Sasuke hit the ground like a lifeless mess of skin and flesh and broken bones, rattling at the impact with the earth, like shattered porcelain – a terrible sound that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up and caused her to cringe, as though seeing him get hurt caused her physical pain as well. And there he lay, sprawled out like a bear skin, a further acquisition in Madara's collection.

_Get up, get up_- a faint voice in her mind pleaded, and she was barely aware that she was watching him with held breath and that by now her brain was already begging for oxygen and her eyes again filled with tears without her permission, without her even realizing it…

"…but not good enough." Madara finally finished his sentence, so late that she had almost forgotten the first part of it, but now Sasuke was moving, was struggling to his feet and there he stood now, closer to his enemy than to his apparent comrades. They were fighting together and yet he was fighting alone – what he had done to Kiba made her sure of that. Apparently a common enemy didn't unite people the way the old saying made believe…

Maybe that is what there has been in Karin's eyes. She hadn't been fooled by his change of mind and knew that he still wasn't who he used to be… not the person they both loved, the person so many people loved, appreciated, admired… It was unfair, actually, that he had so many people behind him, so many people on his side, and yet he didn't seem to give a damn about that. It was unfair just how many people he was hurting simply by doing what he did. Unfair that he chose to live in solitude, suffer in solitude, when there were so many people who would gladly drive it away from him. Who had always tried to reach out to him, not noticing how their attempts chased him even farther away and who could have possibly known that this is what it would come down to…?

He had his back turned to her now, so all she could see of him was his spiky hair and the red clouds scattered across his cloak, a remnant of his former alliance with his current enemy, but she had a good view of Madara now, although she could have well done without it. He really didn't look pretty, with all the wounds covering his body, not to mention the arm that was missing, but she had to admit that she rather saw him like this than in one piece. He then spared her of his sight altogether, as he again just vanished, although she didn't know how and for a few seconds she didn't know where to.

At least until he rose out of the ground right beside Sasuke's left leg. He had pulled back his arm, but now his balled fist shot to the front, aiming at the side of Sasuke's knee and he didn't even look that way and no one warned him either. No one helped him.

"SASUKE!"

Before she even knew what was going on his name exploded out of her mouth, more alive still than she would have imagined, especially considering the taste it had left on her tongue, but even before the last syllable had cut itself off from an uncountable mass of other words that were desperate to leak out as well, something happened.

A split second before Madara's fist would have collided with Sasuke's knee, a split second before he would have snapped his leg in two like a match, sending his patella flying away as if it were a discus, a split second before any of this could happen, some sort of armour appeared between the two Uchiha. An armour, which she now realized to have the shape of a-

-of something _living_.

A monster, reminding of a samurai to some extent… She couldn't quite tell, but it was intimidating in any case, and before she had a chance to make out much more of its appearance, of what in the world Sasuke had summoned there, she felt the eyes of the two men, their immensely dangerous eyes, burn on her skin and she noticed just then what she had done.

Everything that happened afterwards seemed to pass off in slow-motion.

She could see Madara's eye, red and black, and Sasuke's eyes, black and red. Both of them appeared surprised, but not for long. The Akatsuki slowly sunk into the ground again, like it was quicksand, swallowing him whole, slowly ingesting him like it was actually a living, well-mannered being. Simultaneously the thing shielding Sasuke vanished again and she could see something glisten in his hand, flash like someone switching on a light in a house, only to peek into the room, to check that everything was alright and then switch it off again, like it never happened. Maybe it never happened.

She lost herself in his eyes then, having all the time in the world to unravel what was behind them, because as it seemed, time had decided to stand still to draw out whatever was going to happen next.

This wasn't the kind of look he had given her before, as she had nearly slipped there at the cliffs. She couldn't even detect the faintest trace of shock in his eyes, his Mangekyou. It was unexpected and she couldn't help but wonder if this was only a façade or if he was really indifferent right now. It didn't take to be a sensor to sense the change in his aura and what she had seen of him before was more than just sobering.

Then he lifted his arm slowly and she curiously watched him, watched what he was doing and what she saw then brought the shock into her face that was lacking in his features. The flashing had come from a kunai, a kunai that was now flying right into her direction. She could see it approach slowly but surely, so very, _very_ slowly and yet she couldn't even think of getting away. It was as though her feet were glued to the ground and her own movements were subjected to the same rules of physic that also slowed all else down – all else but her thinking processes and so she was overly aware of everything going on around her, overly aware of what would happen, once this one drawn-out second finally found its end.

If he had meant to chase her away, he should have warned her beforehand, because in this second she was too shocked to move and couldn't do anything but close her eyes, waiting for the pain to finally set in. She waited and waited, when actually no time elapsed, none at all, at least as far as she could tell, but then there was a gasp – _her own?_ – and that gasp, this sharp sound, cutting through the unnatural silence, finally set the world in motion again.

She waited for the pain, now that her body and her brain were working at the same pace again, but she didn't feel anything and certainly no pain and so she waited, waited with held breath, for what she believed to be inevitable. For what she was sure would strike her the second she wouldn't expect it, so she did expect it, which didn't change anything about the fact that it wouldn't come.

After a nerve-wracking moment in which absolutely nothing happened, except that she was running out of breath, since she had held it from the moment, she had let out her terror in the form of Sasuke's name, she finally dared to breathe again and her eyes opened at the same moment, at once meeting Sasuke's unbearably blank ones. Blank and cold… Was he really that good an actor? Or was he maybe… did he maybe… really not care?

"A kunai with an exploding tag…"

A sudden chill shook Sayuri's whole body as she heard the voice from right behind her, noticed the person right behind her, so close that now that she knew about his being there, she could feel his body heat that actually felt cold on her skin, but burned nonetheless. The shock fired enough adrenaline through her body to enable her to turn her head around, so quickly and fitfully that she nearly sprained her neck, but she saw one half of Madara's body now, his left side, and she saw his hand reach for a kunai that was sticking in his upper thigh, his middle and index finger clasping a piece of paper, hanging from the handle of it. So Sasuke hadn't aimed at her but the Akatsuki?

The bomb was still active, a second or so and it would explode, but Madara didn't pull it out, probably fearing the blood loss, and he just kept holding the thin tag and bent it a little. She should get away as long as she still could, but she just wasn't able to. Time had picked up its pace again and now she was the one who was frozen – this time fully, mind and body – and she couldn't do anything but stare at the exploding tag, their ticket to the afterlife.

Then he finally let go of it and nothing happened. No explosion. Like he had just turned it off, although she hadn't known that was possible once they've been activated.

"Clever move. You would have even sacrificed her, just to get a chance to kill me" Madara said and every single one of his words cut through her skin like knives, only much sharper and less merciful than any actual weapon could ever be, because they cut much, much deeper. And it hurt all the more, only because she hadn't been prepared for his betrayal, the protective walls she had built up around her heart had begun to crumble, once she had gotten to know of his change of mind, and now it hurt, more than she would have thought possible and her face had to mirror these emotions all too well.

"What a shame that it didn't work."

An arm hooked around her neck tightly and she was suddenly pulled against a body, so hard and unyielding, as if it were a concrete wall and the collision knocked all air out of her lungs and caused a subdued gasp to escape her throat. However the pain, the contact and most of all the repulsion she felt at being touched by the Akatsuki, solved a part of her paralysis and she at once used that chance, to draw her knee up and then blindly kick back against the kunai that was still there in Madara's leg.

She felt that she had hit it, but even if that hadn't been the case, the pained hiss sounding there right in her ear made her absolutely sure of that. However before she had a chance at feeling any satisfaction about her little victory, Madara tightened his grip, pulled her up, until her head was on a height with his, her cheek touching the side of his cracked mask, even a little of his skin. There was no ground under her feet for a moment, but after some struggling she found a new foothold on Madara's shoes, however that didn't help her anything, because she was still in the process of suffocating. Although a strangled cry had found its way out of her throat, no air would enter it and as if in additional mockery, she could feel the Akatsuki's warm breath, slipping through some cracks in his mask and brush her skin, causing a manifestation of her disgust to obstruct even the little remaining opening of her airways.

"You better keep still, little girl, we don't want this to get nasty, do we?" Madara murmured in her ear and she fought the urge to press her eyes shut and kept them focused on Sasuke's instead, saw him just stand there and do nothing, while now Suigetsu and Kiba had lined up beside him, not doing anything either, but at least they looked like they planned to.

"…" Sayuri closed her eyes after all and bowed her head down a little, only as much as Madara's arm allowed her, but still he noticed this small gesture and relaxed the pressure on her throat a little, only enough so she could at least shallowly breathe.

"Wise choice." He chuckled sombrely and she could feel humiliation wash over her like a caustic wave, washing away her self-esteem along with it, but she couldn't rely on them to save her – and not only her but also her baby. The baby whose life was in her hands now-

-or was it in Madara's?

"The little boy always wailing about having lost his family" The Akatsuki raised his voice, obviously addressing Sasuke this time, but he might have just as well been deaf, because he showed no awareness of being spoken to.

His face was as blank and stoic as it used to be a not so very long time ago, although it appeared to be half an eternity, a time from a past life he had left behind with his death and being reincarnated as the person he was now. The person he used to be only a few weeks ago, but which had disappeared again, like the light did, whenever the sun descended to its nocturnal repose beyond the distant horizon, leaving only a bleak, star- and moonless darkness behind. A lot of space filled with nothing but loneliness and many free spots that waited to be occupied, but never were. Not in his cerebral sky.

"Now where would you get your pity, when you couldn't claim that for yourself any longer?" He inserted a pause to let his words have their effect on his audience, but other than Kiba, no one would react and definitely not the person he had addressed.

"Let. Her. Go." Kiba pressed out through gritted teeth, barely able to keep his self-control. After the surprise at seeing Sayuri there, alive when they had thought her to be dead, there was only dread now, as he saw her small form in the clutches of that monstrous Akatsuki, who looked like he could snuff out her life, if only he wanted to, although he would probably proceed with crueller methods than that. Just thinking about that sent violent shivers through his body and he had clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white, whereas Sasuke, who stood right next to him, did nothing but staring.

He saw her there and he didn't feel the fear from before, although this was exactly what he had been afraid of. He remembered that much… Right now there was only confusion, or at least he thought so. Or was it rather shock? A lack of comprehension? – A weird numbness of limbs and emptiness of mind and now he didn't know what to do, didn't know what to feel. Yes. He was confused, because he knew that right now he should do anything but feel numb and yet that's what he did. But he did not understand how that was even possible.

He remembered having feelings for her, strong feelings, and yet he didn't quite remember how they felt and couldn't imagine how he would have reacted now, if he still felt them, because if he did remember, then he would do so, whether it was genuine or not. Then he wouldn't stand here and brood about why he felt numb, when he should feel terror and brood about ways to save her instead.

"There's no need to act like you don't care. I have a Sharingan, too. I can see that your chakra is flaring." Madara drew Sasuke's attention back to him, but what he mistook for fear and despair about the current situation, was really the start of a murder headache, creeping closer and closer with every single second he stood there and didn't know what to do. His head was hurting from the confusion and he could barely conjure up any clear thoughts and could much less focus them on finding any solution. Finding a way to save her.

Just what in the world was wrong with him and why did he only care so little to find out?

"What will you do now, Uchiha Sasuke?" The words were carried down into the crater by a gust of wind and wafted around the present people, stunning them into speechlessness. Especially the one person who was supposed to respond was caught in a dazed stupor that sewed his mouth shut.

What would he do now…? – A good question indeed and while Sasuke tried to find an answer to it, he scrutinized the two people carefully and measured the distance between them. Madara has been careful to position himself at an angle so that Sayuri would completely shield his body. He even pressed his face so close to hers that in case he should attack him, she wouldn't get off unscathed either. He'd probably even move her so she'd take the full force of the attack – he was definitely fast enough for that. But damn it this was his chance. He was solid and as long as he kept holding her, kept strangling her, he would stay that way, but what could he do?

It would have to be a deadly attack, so a kunai wouldn't do, but he couldn't use his Chidori spear either, since they were too high up, definitely beyond his reach. The only thing he had left was his Amaterasu, but if he used that one, he was sure to hit her too, and he couldn't do that or could he? He might be able to quench the flames, before she'd take too severe damage and now what difference did it make if she was hurt by him or by Madara? Especially if it served the greater good…

But these thoughts seemed so unlike him… He was well aware that the Mangekyou enhanced all the negative feelings in him, but never would he have guessed that they erased all the good ones in turn. He had used them so much during this fight, more than he had used them ever before and just how would he come off, if he kept using them further? What would be left of him then? What but his hatred? Was this goal of his really worth giving all else up? Was it worth the self-abandonment? And what happened the day it was over? Could there be a life after the hatred, the way there has been a life before it? And there _has_ been a life before it – undeniably so – there has even been a life in between, but if he went any farther, farther than he had already proceeded, then it would be impossible for him to turn back. Then there would be nothing left for him.

What would he choose? A girl who was an important part of a life that barely seemed to be his own anymore or a chance to fulfil the one goal that had shaped his life like nothing else? The choice seemed almost too easy, but then why did he still hesitate? Why did the resigned look on her face bother him so much?

"I see…" Madara nodded and tightened his grip on Sayuri's throat, as he saw Kiba move forward. However the chocked gasp coming from her, made him stop in his tracks again and he only darted hateful glares from Sasuke to his actual enemy, while a low growl left his throat, an insufficient way of giving vent to the frustration he felt about being unable to do anything.

"You understand the principles of revenge better than anyone else." The Akatsuki claimed, fully ignoring the Inuzuka and to his great satisfaction, he noticed how Sasuke's bloody eyes narrowed slightly, angrily, at the mentioning of the one term that epitomised his dogma, epitomised everything he was standing and fighting for. "So you should understand why I now have to take revenge on you for betraying me."

The meaning of his words hit Sayuri like gallon-sized drops of ice water, leaving her too numb and frozen to think these thoughts to an end and fathom their implications on her immediate future, but as it seemed she wasn't alone with that.

Then the pressure on her throat suddenly vanished in exchange for a sharp pain at the back of her head, leaving her not quite unconscious, but not quite awake either and then she was suddenly flying. Her apparently still open eyes could see the man in the dark clothes and the earth and the scenery rush away from her at a hundred miles per hour, only a dark-grey object with a flag tied to it was following her, seemed determined to catch up to her and it did. As her flight had taken her so low that it was only a matter of split seconds until a reminder of gravity, in form of the earth's far too solid surface, would set an end to her weightless fall, was it that a dark flash darted past her face, emerging as the winner of their race. Then for the fragment of a second an orange lightning cut through her vision, leaving everything black and cold as it faded.

It happened too fast for any of them to do anything. Too fast for them to even realize what was happening and now there was already the explosion, as the tag fastened to the kunai, Madara had just pulled out of his leg, the kunai that had stuck in it because of Sasuke, detonated the moment it collided with the earth; the moment Sayuri, who had been tossed away by the Akatsuki like a piece of trash, collided with the earth. And now there was smoke and she was too high up and too far away for them to see what happened.

Now there was no holding back for Kiba any more. "No!" He screamed and darted ahead, his vision reduced to the mere figure of the Akatsuki and nothing else. Not his surroundings, not his apparent comrades whose passivity made them no better than his actual enemy.

One of these passive men was Suigetsu and he was not as passive as it appeared to be. His full attention was focused on the young Uchiha, his curiosity clearly aroused by his uncanny behaviour. He knew Sasuke to be cruel, ruthless and indifferent; he had proven so often enough in the course of this one single day, but up to now Sayuri had always been left out when it came to that. Especially now that she was having his baby, he had become totally overprotective of her. Although he had tried not to show it, it had nevertheless become clear in the past weeks, as they had still been in Madara's headquarters, so what has that just been? Was this a Genjutsu again?

A hint of something akin to shock invaded Sasuke's face now after all and it wasn't restricted to his face only. He felt it. Felt something. Something like a stitch, he couldn't quite locate, but that became more distinct, more nagging each passing second and brought other things along with it, he could place no easier. He felt a stitch and an itch and a tingle and a sting and all these things – these _feelings_ – were pressing against the edges of the hole in him. Things were slowly coming back to him, maybe too slow to make a difference or maybe he was mistaken after all, because what he felt was anger and that was something he also felt before. However now his anger was not only directed at Madara, but also at himself…

In spite of his injuries, which had obstructed his movements to a great extent during his fight against the Akatsuki, Kiba now moved with an agility that didn't give away anything of his rather poor condition. He had concentrated chakra into his feet and ran up the nearly vertical walls of the crater without any difficulties. However the moment before he reached the top, Madara appeared before him, his arm stretched out so that Kiba, who wasn't able to react in time, ran against it at full speed.

His throat collided with Madara's arm, which was as hard as an iron bar, and stopped it right there, whereas his legs still moved on until there was no ground under his feet left and he did a somersault around Madara's arm, only to fall back down and land where he had started off, right in front of Suigetsu's and Sasuke's feet.

The Inuzuka clutched both his hands to his throat and was writhing on the ground and coughing miserably, but none of the two nuke-nin would make the slightest move to help him; there wasn't much they could do admittedly, but their indifference nevertheless seemed cruel in the given situation.

"Ohh… you shouldn't have done that…" Suigetsu murmured, not referring to what happened to Kiba, but to Sayuri, because now he was sure to have unravelled what was behind Sasuke's silence. He must have been frozen with shock and now he would be awakened by anger, he could already feel something stir in him, could sense something around him that really made him glad that he wasn't in Madara's shoes right now.

"Hmpf…" The Akatsuki snorted self-complacently, entirely ignoring the warning, while he focused his attention on Sasuke again. "This is your own fault, you know? It would have taken only one word and I would have spared her, but as it seems you are much colder than I have given you credit for."

"Hn." Sasuke growled menacingly, the first sound coming from him since a perceived eternity and now of all times his Mangekyou deactivated. The strain of it having been too much, he decided to spare his eyes as long as possible, especially now that he wasn't even attacking and against better judgement, he glanced over his shoulder at the scene behind him, losing sight of his enemy, as he searched for his other team-mate, but because of her conspicuous hair-colour he needn't search for long, in spite of his deteriorating vision.

She sat on the ground like a heap of abandoned rubies and he knew that that was due to him. Due to the fact that he had taken more of her chakra than he would have needed, more than she had meant to give him probably, but then she had never refused him anything for the vaguest of reasons.

"Karin." He said her name, more like a command than a question, like he was already sure that he had her undivided attention and as it was, he happened to be right about it and what's more, she at once knew what he wanted. Karin knew him well enough for that. She dared say, she knew him better than he knew himself at the moment. His chakra allowed her to read him (_almost_) like an open book and she sure didn't like what she could read in it. There was this new edge to his chakra, something she couldn't quite identify, not even if it was a positive or a negative alteration and that made it unpredictable, maybe even dangerous. It had turned out as such for Sayuri at any rate…

"Nevermind, she's alive." Karin assured him in a ragged voice, leaving out an _only barely so…_ Somehow she was glad that he asked, which showed just how much the situation had gotten out of hand. But if there was at least something there… something in him, then he wasn't entirely lost yet. At least not necessarily so.

"Hn." Sasuke turned his attention back to his enemy, without showing any sign of relief. "Go to her." He instructed his team-mate without even looking at her and if this were a different situation, Karin surely would have protested. However as it was, she obediently struggled to her feet, glad to find a trace of concern in Sasuke after all (although for the wrong person), glad to get away from the actual scene of fighting.

She was still unsteady on her feet and regardless of how quickly she wanted to get away from here, she could only take, slow, tentative steps and she didn't dare walk the direct path either, but rather gave them all a wide berth, which would slow her down even more, but it's not like she was in a hurry. No, _she_ certainly wasn't…

"Didn't you say you had enough of fooling around?" Sasuke addressed the Akatsuki in a low voice, but that one only chuckled bleakly and approached them with slow, but deliberate steps, but Sasuke remained unfazed. "But it's okay. I've made up my mind about killing you already. Nothing you can do now will change that."

"Cold indeed…" Madara snarled in a kind of voice that very much reminded of Orochimaru. The way Orochimaru had talked whenever he had noticed any progress in Sasuke's training, whenever Sasuke could surprise him with any new abilities, he had developed within relentless hours of training, back in the days as the Sannin had still thought that every bit of strength his _supposed_ vessel gained, would end up as his strength eventually, but in the end his longed for strength had turned out as his downfall.

Foolish old creep.

"A worthy Uchiha and as such you will meet the fate that has been determined for our clan from the very beginning."

Instead of responding or giving any more thought to what his relative was saying, since he was talking far too much for his taste anyway, Sasuke inhaled deeply and spat a huge ball of flames at the wounded man, whose reflexes had decreased considerably in the last minutes, whereas his own condition had gotten a bit better, from the moment on that Karin had healed him. He was sure now even that he had a chance against him. After all his own chakra resources were about twice as full as Madara's, and he still had all his limbs left and only minor wounds at the moment that maybe bothered, but didn't really affect him.

The moment Sasuke had commenced his renewed attack in this new round of the fight, Suigetsu rushed ahead with his huge sword at the ready. Other people might have had some more restraints about running right into one huge mass of flames, but the Houzuki didn't. Water was the natural enemy of fire and so there was nothing for him to fear. Aside from that, the moment he reached his destination, the flames had extinguished anyway, but to his disappointment Madara had transported himself away in order to avoid Sasuke's attack, instead of 'only' making himself intangible, although that would have consumed less of his chakra than the full teleportation had done. At least that's what Sasuke told him.

However this first streak of bad luck was soon made up for, as the Akatsuki reappeared only a metre beside him and he saw him even before he was fully there, and so the Houzuki at once stopped and used the momentum of this sudden movement to whirl his executioner's blade around, aiming it straight at Madara. That one didn't have the time to get away again and so he only raised his remaining arm, stopping the blade with his forearm.

It might have not been able to cut through his arm, or do any other kind of damage, but nevertheless he was shoved backwards, which hasn't happened before and which Suigetsu therefore regarded as a sign of Madara's weakness. Suigetsu's muscles were pumped up as he concentrated water into them, increasing his own strength this way, so he could push Madara further back, driving him into a corner, to disable him from disappearing right away.

"Sasuke!" Suigetsu pressed out through gritted teeth – he was doing his part in keeping the Akatsuki solid here and now it was up to Sasuke to attack him and the Uchiha didn't hesitate to do so, although he had some slight, inexplicable calms about making use of his Mangekyou and any of its abilities. After what just happened, he was at least to some extent able to see the person he had become and he had also seen what this person was capable of or more importantly _not_ capable of and something inside him vehemently refused to submit to this cruel stranger. He didn't want to be this.

Therefore he ran ahead, concentrating his lightning elemental chakra in both his hands, but as it seemed Madara had the same idea, which he could easily tell, thanks to his advanced bloodline. The colour of Madara's chakra altered and was transferred to Suigetsu's blade and in that moment he let go of it, while a violent tremor shook his whole body.

Raiton – his greatest weakness.

Once the Houzuki fell to the ground, still shaking and twitching, like he had stuck a fork into an electric socket, just to see what happened, Sasuke came to a stop as well, although he was really close to them already. However attacking now wouldn't make any sense, since the Akatsuki had already spotted him and wasn't involved in any interaction at the moment. He wouldn't just stand there and wait for him to attack him, so Sasuke might as well save his energy on that one.

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself to let others interfere in a battle among Uchiha?" Madara asked and for the first time his exhaustion was clearly audible in his voice, was visible in his unsteady stance, could be guessed from the contents of his words. And although they contained a slight indication of his own weakness, about his apparently being not able to deal with the two of them simultaneously, they were nevertheless cleverly chosen, as they were directed at one of Sasuke's greatest weaknesses, which would be his ego. However he had underestimated the changes the Uchiha had gone through in the course of this fight. To him this wasn't about pride. Not anymore. He didn't even know what this was all about as long as its outcome included a dead Madara and he couldn't care less if he had killed him by himself or with help.

"Hmpf." The Akatsuki snorted derisively and then turned his one visible eye from Sasuke to Suigetsu. "Well, if you won't do anything…" His voice trailed off and then the same swirled pattern there was on his mask, appeared in mid-air right in front of his face and Suigetsu was drawn towards it, before being drawn into it. His upper half had already merged with the aerial vortex, swirling in front of Madara and he was close to vanishing in another dimension (maybe forever?), but Sasuke saw this as his chance.

He overcame his restraints of using his Mangekyou Sharingan and activated it, at once squeezing his right eye shut, whereas the left one opened all the more – his left eye which was able to summon Amaterasu's black flames. He at once made good for what he failed to do only a few moments earlier and directed the unquenchable flames at Madara, setting him on fire, while he was still in the process of sucking Suigetsu in.

He ceased from that now though and sucked in Sasuke's Amaterasu instead. However Sasuke wouldn't make it that easy for him, he kept sending his flames towards him, hoping some of them might escape his notice and they would at least set his foot or hair on fire and then spread on the rest of his body. Madara's jutsu however possessed some sort of undertow that sucked everything into it, like it was a black hole. Every bit of fire vanished in another dimension and Madara remained unharmed except for getting more and more exhausted, but so did Sasuke and his eye was close to failing him.

He'd only wait for Suigetsu to move farther away and then he'd stop, hoping he'd be quick enough to hit Madara with some simple shuriken at least. What other choice did he have? However the very second he meant to disrupt the chakra flow, leading into his left eye, he noticed something above Madara with his peripheral vision, which didn't differ so very much from his normal vision anymore.

There was another vortex, looking a bit different though. This one really did look like a black hole and seemed to consume the air itself. It became slightly bigger, gained strength and moved closer to the Akatsuki, who didn't seem to have noticed it yet.

This wasn't the time to stop. Sasuke would have to carry on. Carry on with the attack that by now caused almost unbearable pain to his eye and he wondered how it even worked with all the blood pooling it, giving the whole world a crimson hue.

But Uchiha Sasuke has never been one to give in to physical pain and he sure wouldn't change that now of all times and so he did his best to ignore the pain, lock it away in a distant corner of his mind and throw away the key. To him it felt like an eternity, until Madara was finally seized by the jutsu that was so much like his own.

Sasuke perceived a gasp, or at least he thought so, because by now it felt like his ears were as full of blood as his eyes were, and so all sounds were weirdly muffled and covered by ocean sounds, like there were shells around his ears.

The swirl in front of Madara's face vanished; this new turn of events apparently having shocked him to the point of losing control of his jutsu for a moment, but he regained it again and tried to suck in the other vortex in turn. However now Sasuke's Amaterasu finally reached him and his torso was set on fire.

The Akatsuki cried out in pain, briefly only, but the sound etched itself into Sasuke's memory like he had listened to it for days and he was sure that he would never be able to forget it. Still Madara wouldn't give up yet, although every single one of his movements was marked by despair.

He focused his jutsu on the black flames again, trying to send them away, before they would ultimately eat a gaping hole into his chest, but while he tried to do that, more and more of him was sucked into another dimension, in the same fashion Suigetsu had almost been sucked in before, but Sasuke knew that it wasn't over until he was fully gone and so he carried on, until even the last bit of the burning man had disappeared out of his field of vision. Had disappeared out of this world.

A miserable sound escaped Sasuke's lips, as his eyes finally closed and almost simultaneously the ground met his knees. He even had to put his hands on the ground to keep himself from falling forward, falling down, falling into unconsciousness… An exhausted slumber, lasting as long as his body would need to heal and that was more time than he could spare at the moment and so he forced himself to stay awake. Although it was hard with the darkness reigning behind his closed lids, inviting him to stay right there, where there was no blood and no pain and no bodies and no responsibility – where there was no one waiting for him, expecting him to explain his actions. Actions he couldn't quite comprehend himself, but that made them no less his own and so he would have to take responsibility for them.

In spite of how much his muscles protested, his now again black eyes opened again and it cost him quite some overcoming to keep them that way. They were hurting like hell, especially his left eye, whose sight was much worse than that of the right one and the divergence increased the feelings of dizziness, the pain, the blood loss and the exertion had summoned upon his brain. He wanted to shut at least the left one, the bad one, the nearly blind one, but this wasn't the time yet. There was something he still had to do and one eye wouldn't suffice for that.

It was with this determination that Sasuke lifted his blood-stained face and guided his eyes, which had now assumed the same colour as the liquid they had shed, towards the spot where the Akatsuki had just vanished. The spot where he had perished. There was nothing unusual about the atmosphere, no remnants of chakra, nothing. No trace of Madara, although before, he hadn't been able to make anything out either, but this time he had actually seen him die, had seen him burn and this time he hadn't tricked him. He had made use of his space-time technique in that moment, which meant he had definitely been solid and now he was no more.

"I would say well done, but I'm not sure about that yet…"

Sasuke perceived a familiar voice from right next to him and cocked his head to the side, letting his now again black eyes wander up a pair of trousers, to a dark pullover and across an olive vest.

A brief snort escaped Sasuke, as he recognized the Jounin and he muttered his name in a sort of greeting: "Kakashi…"

It was him: Hatake Kakashi, the man who had shown up at the eleventh hour and saved the situation, like he so often did. Being the experienced ninja he was, he had stayed in the shadows and waited for the right moment to strike and _what_ a moment he had chosen. If it hadn't been for his Kamui, an ability he owed to his Mangekyou Sharingan, then things would look quite different now.

"Man, that's what I call timing…"

The dark-haired man perceived Suigetsu's voice now, which was responded to with merely an agreeing sound by the Hatake, who now reached a hand out to Sasuke.

His blood-shot eyes narrowed slightly, sceptically, not so sure what to make of this gesture, not so sure how to react, still not sure of anything at all.

"Where did you guys come from?" Kiba asked this time. His voice sounded hoarse, like he was having a really bad cold and he hadn't risen to his feet yet either, but then it didn't really look like he planned to get up anyway, not from how comfortable he looked right there – just give him a blanket and he would probably fall asleep right there.

"We've been chasing you for days." Yamato appeared on the scene, carrying an unconscious Shino over his shoulder and right beside him there were two dogs, a big bull dog and a slightly smaller one with light grey fur and some sort of mohawk on his head. Two of Kakashi's ninja dogs. "You gave us quite some trouble. If it hadn't been for Akamaru's trace-"

"Akamaru!" Kiba shot to his feet, like he hadn't just taken a thorough beating. However once he stood erect, he was hit by the pain, like an old man by an attack of lumbago, which contorted his facial features in a way that caused the little scratches on his face to break open again.

"Easy now" Yamato soothed him, startled by Kiba's sudden movement and the volume his hoarse voice was capable of. "He's more or less okay. Pakkun and Bisuke are with him."

"Thank God…" Kiba's relief took form in a long, drawn-out sigh and yet he felt a little guilty about not having thought about his best friend any earlier. "I don't know what I'd do without the little guy…"

"It's not a shame to accept help, you know?" Kakashi murmured in a calm voice, still with his hand reached out to his former student, but that one only stared at it with a vacant expression.

Everything seemed so unreal. That they were here, talking – talking about what happened, talking to each other, talking to him – like they didn't know what he had done.

But they had to.

He had left the Hidden Leaf more than a month ago to join Akatsuki – he was still wearing their cloak and so all of this seemed too unreal to be true. That was probably why Sasuke was wary to reach out to his former sensei, seeing it as a gesture of kindness he didn't deserve and he feared his hand would pass right through it, like all of them were only ghosts or maybe he was one and then he'd realize that things were far from being over. That Madara was still there, carrying on killing all the people he cared about, used to care about…

Were there even any left?

But the hand wouldn't yield, urging him to make his decision with its mute insistence. And though his mind might have still been unsure, his body told him what to do then. In his condition rising to his feet by himself would be quite an ordeal, so any sort of help was clearly welcomed. Deserved or not. Therefore he swallowed his pride (was there even anything there to swallow?) and took Kakashi's hand, letting him pull him to his feet and now he stood there, swaying slightly for a moment, but at least he was standing.

The hand has been real after all, the kind intention has been sincere and yet all of this still seemed surreal to an extent that left his head spinning and slowly, ever so slowly, the feelings of hatred ebbed away, leaving even less there in him than there has already been. Although this sure wasn't a loss he'd mourn.

"Quite some trouble you've gotten yourself into…" The Jounin stated the facts, without any hint of judgement in his voice. "That man…" Kakashi started in a low voice, waiting for Sasuke to turn his face to him or give any other sign that he had his attention, but it wouldn't come, the Uchiha just kept staring through half-shut eyes at the ground, looking so unlike himself, in a way he couldn't put into words, so Kakashi carried on after all. "He had the Sharingan. Who was he?"

Silence descended upon them, everyone waiting for Sasuke to respond, although two others of the five present people knew the answer as well, but they kept quiet, leaving it up to Sasuke to spread the news – after all it concerned him even more than any of them.

"… Uchiha Madara…" Sasuke enlightened them eventually and, not caring about the surprised sounds coming from the two newcomers, not caring about the questions being flung at him, not caring about anything going on around him, he started walking. His steps were slow and shaky and yet marked by resolution, because he had by no means forgotten that there was yet another consequence left to face.

…

…

There was still all sort of noise going on, as Karin finally reached the spot where Sayuri had fallen. She could still sense alterations in the chakras surrounding them, could feel them strengthen, the streams quickening as they prepared for an attack, could feel them weaken, slowing down when they suffered a counter. She could sense frustration, despair, fear, but also resolve all around her and darkness, so much darkness that she feared her own chakra would take after it, especially considering how many others it had infected already. Some only slightly, but she could nevertheless feel it in all their chakras. Not only Sasuke's but also Suigetsu's and Kiba's. The only ones who still seemed to have been spared from it, were the chakras she sensed there in the distance.

She had noticed them about ten minutes ago already, but had done her best not to let it show, hoping the others were too distracted to notice them. Especially because she knew those people, knew that they wouldn't just butt in and make a big fuss about their last-minute appearance, but make use of any advantage they had, which would in this case be the surprise effect.

There was still hope.

Sasuke's former sensei, the copycat ninja Hatake Kakashi, who possessed a Sharingan as well, might actually have a chance to stand up to Madara in a fight and then there was that other one with the peculiar chakra and not to forget that little girl, who probably informed them about everything going on at the moment, so they sure would be prepared.

Karin tried hard not to let a sense of relief get the best of her, _not yet_, and most of all she tried to suppress the growing hope. Hoping was something she didn't want to rely on. Where had hoping ever gotten her? What happens, happens, and wishing for a good outcome won't have any influence on that, except for maybe altering your perception of things.

She kept taking step after slow step, still feeling weak, tired and then she didn't want to miss anything of what was going on in their fight and besides, she was in no hurry to reach the person, she had been told to look after; in her condition there was nothing she could do for her, other than keeping her company, although she was sure that Sayuri was not in the shape to even appreciate that.

There was even some grass left up here, grass and bushes; something living, something green – the complement of all the red she had seen down there in that hellish pit. And there she lay now; the woman that had squeezed herself between her and her loved one, the person she was supposed to hate and yet she couldn't help, but admit what a pitiable sight she made.

_Pull yourself together girl_ – Karin chided herself – _this has absolutely nothing to do with you_.

Maybe so, and still she was here, because of Sasuke's selfish request. His selfish request to have her look after his half-dead girlfriend and maybe even stay with her as it happened, maybe even hold her hand as she was fading. Do all the things he was supposed to do, especially considering that it was his fault this happened in the first place.

It was with slow, very slow and tentative steps that Karin approached the violet-haired girl, as though she was only sleeping lightly and she tried not to arouse her. She might have actually looked like she was sleeping from how calm and relaxed her features appeared, only the blood and the burns covering the right side of her face disturbed that image a little. And then the feeling of her chakra. When people sleep their chakra recovers, it is calm then but very strong and hers certainly wasn't.

Her red eyes filled with something she didn't want to name, didn't want to acknowledge to be there at all, but there was no point in lying to herself right now. She really did feel sorry for her. In spite of how often she had wished her dead, in spite of everything she had done to her, this was still something she would not even wish upon her greatest enemy.

A deep sigh escaped Karin's lips, speaking of her own weary condition of both mind and body. She was tired of all this, of the constant turmoil, the to and fro, her own stance in all this and then of keeping on her feet in general. That is why she now sunk to the ground, leaning her back against a small rock right beside Sayuri, who wasn't even aware of her presence and so the redhead focused her full attention on the proceedings only a good fifty metres away from them and of course the group of people approaching them. The group which had only just split into three fractions, going separate ways. One of them moving straight towards them.

Karin leaned her head back against the stone, her eyes closed leisurely, her face directed at the cloud covered sky, like she was yearning for a piece of the warmth they were selfishly keeping to themselves.

"K-Karin… -san…?"

The voice didn't take her by surprise, nothing ever did. _Usually_… She didn't need to open her eyes to see that Hyuga Hinata had just appeared on the scene and she didn't need to walk to the edge of the crater to see that Kakashi had now come to their aid. That was one of the two reasons why Sasuke had wanted her to be with him. For her abilities and nothing more, whereas Sayuri had found her way into his life without any of these abilities.

_Yeah, but look where __that had gotten her…_

"S-Sayuri…? Hey…? Wake up please… _Please_…"

Now Karin opened her eyes after all and switched them to the side, feeling the vaguest hint of amusement well up in her, as she saw how the Hyuga was kneeling there, fidgeting around with her hands, obviously not daring to touch the unconscious girl, but as she saw the distraught expression on Hinata's face she felt only bitterness.

If she were the one lying there, more dead than alive, would there be anyone who'd give her that look? Anyone who'd try to hold back the tears while trying to save her? Anyone there to save her at all? Anyone there to bother?

"Please wake up…" She stammered again and looked around, as though she waited for help to fall right out of the sky. That girl sure hadn't given up hope yet. And though she still felt bitter, Karin could also feel how a hint of sympathy softened her features and maybe also… maybe also her heart?

"You're not a medic-nin, are you?" The redhead raised her voice for the first time since the blue-haired girl had appeared here and now she turned her face towards her and shook her head quickly, tossing the tears, she had actually meant to keep back, around. Ninja don't show emotions – least of all tears…

"Then there is no need for you to get so worked up. There is nothing you can do for her." Karin shrugged, ever so sober and rational, as she liked to think of herself. She wouldn't lose her head in a situation such as this. Just because she felt pity and sympathy, didn't mean she'd give in to it.

"B-but I have to…" Hinata claimed determinedly and started searching through the medical pouch around Sayuri's hips, hoping to find anything useful, but even if there might have been something, her shaky fingers just wouldn't uncover it.

"Hmpf." Karin shrugged again, wondering how someone with a Byakugan could be so delusional, or was she the one who was mistaken?

"Hey, sleepyhead." Karin murmured casually, as she saw how Sayuri's lids opened slightly, only to fall shut immediately after that, but something underneath them was still stirring.

"S-Sayuri." The weirdest expression appeared on Hinata's face, a mixture of shock, relief and still grief and she at once leaned over the no longer so very unconscious girl, dropping the pills she had pulled out of her bag, onto the soggy ground.

Other than exhaling noisily, no actual sound passed Sayuri's lips, as her hazy blue eyes opened again, only enough so her lashes wouldn't impede her vision more than her poor condition already did.

"Are you okay?" Hinata asked, just for the sake of saying something, although it was obvious that she was anything but okay. "T-tell me what to do. Tell me how to help you."

She didn't get an answer. Sayuri just lay there, her half-open eyes directed at the sky, a reflection of the fast moving clouds flitting like ghosts across her haunted eyes. Haunted by the previous events.

_Betrayal_ – even now Karin could clearly make out that one emotion in her lifeless face and she knew that well enough.

"Doesn't feel good being discarded like this, huh?" The redhead asked, her voice sounding almost soft, despite the contents of her words.

"K-Karin!" Hinata's pearly eyes widened with shock, incredulous about how Karin could be this cruel in the given situation.

"Y-you… tell me…" Sayuri murmured, her voice barely louder than a whisper and yet Karin heard her and couldn't keep a wry smirk from her face.

"Touché." Karin lowered her head slightly, the smirk growing wider and she could also see something there, tugging the corners of Sayuri's lips upwards.

Hinata watched the two kunoichi with a confused expression, not having the slightest clue what was going on between them, but she didn't have much time to figure it out, as she sensed someone behind her and hastily turned her head around, at once taking in the blood-soaked, swaying figure of a man, dressed in an Akatsuki cloak.

"S-Sasuke-kun…" She mustered him with a shocked face, her Byakugan not having prepared her for this sight, but she pulled herself together quickly and turned around to Sayuri again.

"S-she… she is… I-I searched through her bag… but I… there's nothing in there… There are only the… the food pills, b-but they won't help her and… I'm no medic-nin a-and I can't…" She rambled on, feeling the need to justify her own helplessness in front of the Uchiha, but he didn't pay any attention to her.

His slow, tottering steps, brought him to stand beside the kneeling Hyuga, his black eyes fastened on the girl right between the two other ones, whose presence he was barely aware of.

All he could see was Sayuri. Saw her lie there with her blood-stained face and her eyes focused on nothing in particular – the sky perhaps or maybe she was looking at a different time and place than where she was now. He felt like a giant. She was lying so far down, when that's where he should be and he didn't know just how to reach her. But something was there, the same thing that also told him to take Kakashi's hand and now it told him what to do about her.

He sunk to his knees, right beside the Hyuga, who twitched slightly as he was so close to her, but he didn't care about that. He didn't care about what Karin and Hinata were doing, didn't care that they were watching him, didn't care about what they were thinking. There was just one thing he cared about right now and that was chasing the emptiness from his mind, so he would know how to behave now. Know what he could say to make things right again.

It wasn't with the littlest amount of dread and an unprecedented shakiness that he reached his hand out to touch Sayuri's cheek, fearing to find it as cold and waxy as it looked. And it was cold, alarmingly so. Her skin felt like the thinnest sheet of porcelain, fragile enough to shatter to smithereens at the slightest touch. But it wouldn't. The rest of her face made him sure of that. Porcelain didn't bleed, but her face was covered with blood, so much that it kept the bruises underneath hidden and he caught himself hoping that it wasn't that bad. That it was only superficial, when that was about the last thing it looked like…

_Hope_. But he was hoping…

Her eyes opened a little farther and found their way to his and in that moment he was actually glad about the blurriness of his vision, because as it was, he saw more than enough pain in her eyes, far more than he had ever wanted to see there. Especially not because of him…

_Guilt_. He felt that clearly now.

"Sayuri…" He murmured her name quietly, not even knowing where to start.

"And so… it… ends…" Sayuri stammered, trying her best to hold his gaze and Sasuke could not help but to be reminded of Madara's words. But she couldn't have heard them, so he wasn't completely sure of what she meant.

Out of lack of anything to say in response to her dubious statement, Sasuke changed the topic: "Are you in pain?" He mumbled clumsily, as if he still hadn't realized that this was long past being about physical wounds…

"Your eyes… are bleeding…" It was with visible effort that she lifted her hand, letting her forefinger trail across his bloody cheek, across the still open scratches, caused by Naruto and which stung terribly at the touch, but then her arm fell down limply as her strength left her. Before it could reach the ground though, Sasuke caught her small hand in his bigger one, curling his fingers around her icy skin.

"Tell me where it hurts." He started again, fully ignoring the sobs, coming from the girl beside him.

"It… doesn't. I'm good… guess I was lucky…" She broke off, trying to remember the right words to express herself, trying hard to remember what she wanted to express in the first place. "I'm just… c-cold."

"Hn." Sasuke slowly leaned to the front, slipping his one arm under her knees, before he carefully placed his other hand at the back of her neck, before he lifted her up, feeling some sort of resistance though, like the ground didn't want to let go of her, and pressed her against his chest, supporting her back with his knee. A weird sound met his ears, first a small gasp, almost covering a suspicious crunching and it was then that his eyes moved to the spot she had lain at. The spot of burned grass that was speckled with crimson and more importantly the rock that had been hidden under her head like a silky red pillow.

He moved his hand farther up, until it rested in the middle of her head and he could feel the blood pumping out of a wound there, with every one of her faint heartbeats.

A head injury – he shouldn't have moved her.

He didn't know what to do and so he just pressed his hand against it, trying to keep the blood where it was and although that had to hurt like hell, she didn't even flinch. As it seemed she was entirely insensitive to the pain and yet her eyes were filled with an anguish that far exceeded the extent of her injuries.

"You shouldn't have come here." He said calmly, still seemingly unaffected by the situation, although that wasn't the case, at least he didn't want that to be the case… "I told you to stay back."

"Hm…" She merely exhaled loudly and swallowed down audibly, her eyes closing for the briefest moment. "You meant to… why… why did you… attack me?" She asked and he hated hearing her voice so weak, hated hearing no trace of accusation in it.

"I didn't think you'd just stand there." –-He didn't think much in general at that moment. Even now it was still hard for him. His thoughts, his feelings, his emotions – everything seemed so muffled. Muffled or absent, he couldn't even tell, but what he could tell was that he was definitely not behaving the way he would have behaved only this morning or any other day.

"Oh…" She replied simply and Sasuke could tell how some of the shadows that have been darkening her eyes vanished, knew that she interpreted more into his words than he had actually meant to express, but there wasn't enough cruelty left in him to set things right. That is why now Sasuke averted his eyes from hers and there was another thing now.

_Shame_. It was shame that kept him from facing her.

Shame about what he had done, shame about how she could so easily forgive him, after he had more or less left her to her own fate, left her there at the mercy of Madara. And most of all he felt ashamed about how he hadn't wasted a single thought on her, from the moment his fight with Madara had begun. Not even as he had been sure he'd die, as he had decided he would die, had he thought about how he'd leave her and their baby alone and now, by a cruel twist of fate or maybe to pay him back for his lack of interest, they would leave him in turn.

He had gotten his justified vengeance for what happened to his clan, but justice worked in both directions and now he got what he deserved for all the things he had done.

"I'm a little tired…" Sayuri whispered and Sasuke had to move his head a little closer to her, as to hear her at all. "b-but… I don't remember… if that's a good or a bad thing…"

"It's a good thing…" Sasuke assured her and averted his eyes again from the crying Hinata, who had just convinced Karin to give them some privacy and forced himself to face Sayuri again and he couldn't even get close to expressing what the sight of her stirred in him. It felt like someone was pulling the ground from under his feet and he just didn't know what to do now. He felt lost. Lost with nothing but his own inefficiencies and he wondered what the old Sasuke would have done. What the man who had been in love with her would do now.

"It's a good thing…" He repeated again and pressed his chapped lips against her bloody forehead in what was supposed to be a kiss, but in the past a kiss used to feel different. It had made him feel good rather than… rather than… _what_?

"But it's too early. Look, its broad day." He motioned his head upwards and Sayuri moved her gaze from the deep black of his eyes to the bright eye of the sky that at last forced its way through the thick cloud cover.

_It has been such a long time…_

"Hm…" She smiled dazedly but earnestly and he had almost forgotten how beautiful she looked when she smiled. Despite everything.

A sense of nostalgia washed over him as he was inevitably reminded of a very similar situation. A situation when he had been the one who caused her this much pain. In a way he was also the reason for her current pain. Only because he hadn't been the one who had attacked her, didn't mean it wasn't his fault. Although indirectly, he had probably hurt her much more this time than back then. That time, as they had been nothing to each other (although he very well knew that that has _not_ been the case – has never been so), there hadn't been any expectations, if at all then she had expected him to behave the way he had. But now…

"I… I wasn't serious when I s-said I… didn't want your baby…" She stammered and from the tone of her voice, he could tell that these words, he had long forgotten about, had haunted – _tortured_ – her to the present day, when he had said far worse things and hadn't felt sorry about them at all.

"We'll… do a w-welcome home party…" She stammered shakily and fought the urge to cough. "With… balloons and… clowns… and… … _ostriches_…" That word gave her quite some trouble and it troubled Sasuke that she came up with it in the first place. He knew just how much effort it caused her to speak and in a way it was scary to hear her talk like that. Talk nonsense in that groggy voice, but she talked and that was a good sign.

_Fear_. Now it was finally there after all. Something far away in the back of his mind was scared by her apparent weakness of both mind and body.

"Like… a carnival… b-but…"

"-But no ventriloquists." Sasuke finished her sentence and watched her close her eyes.

"Yeah… those puppets creep me out…"

A pained expression appeared on Sasuke's face and he leaned down again, trying to place yet another kiss, a real kiss, on her damaged skin, all too willing to keep up her illusions – after all that was probably the only thing he could do for her. There was no medic-nin around, and because of him, Karin couldn't help either, no one could, so all he could do was press his hand against her wound and try to comfort her as long as he could.

People were already gathering around them, watching them, talking to and about them, but he barely realized so and neither did she. Once again and maybe for a last time their world only revolved around each other.

"I-I'm going to die… am I not…?" Sayuri said with a sudden look of clarity in her eyes that caught his breath and made him feel even more lost than he already did. So much to keeping up her illusions.

"I'm not going to let you." He said in a determined voice and shook his head, meaning every single word, although he didn't know yet how to put them into action. But he couldn't let her go. If there was one person that could help him become himself again, then it was her, so he couldn't let her join the far too long line of people that had already stepped out of his life. All the people that had left him where he was now. And so he held on to her – at least her hand if that was all he could do… Her delicate, cold hand that wouldn't warm, no matter how long he held it. The coldness that had taken dominion of him must make it impossible for him to ever pass warmth to someone else.

"Don't." She said, sounding fairly determined herself. "D-don't do that… don't take that burden on you…" Sayuri said her voice lowering more and more and she was afraid to even blink, because she noticed that whenever she closed her eyes it became harder to open them again and she dreaded the moment when she would no longer be able to do so. "I'm glad… you didn't do it… I… I had already g-given you up… thanks for proving me wrong…"

"Don't thank me." Sasuke shook his head bitterly. "I… this is my fault. You should hate me for what I did." He diverted to talking about the one thing he knew something about and that was hatred. There was no point in acting like everything was fine; not now that her head was probably clearer than his own.

"There is no point now… is there? Though I'm… a little pissed that… that it took you so long… b-but…" She broke off, her lids winning the fight over her tired eyes and for a second Sasuke was hit by a wave of shock.

"But – _what_?" He asked pulling her closer to him, so in case her soul left her body this very second, something might pass through him and remain stuck there, bringing back the things he lost and leaving him not entirely alone. Even now his greatest concern was his own person – no wonder all these bad things happened to him, he deserved no better. "Tell me."

"Huh?" A confused sigh escaped her lips and her eyes fluttered open slowly, but this time they didn't focus on him, didn't focus on anything.

"I never… meant to die like this…" Her voice came out lower than a whisper, with a weird tune drawing through it, almost like she was chanting. "Not… with people around… I don't like… seeing sad faces… but I can't… do anything about that… c-can I?"

Of all the things that were so god-awful wrong about dying like this, it were the sad faces that bothered her. _Unbelievable_.

For a fleeting second her hazy blue eyes focused on his after all. She took in his expression, the lost look in his eyes and now she was hurting after all, because she'd leave him here, _they_ would leave him to be consumed by loneliness again.

_I'm so, so sorry._

Her features darkened a little and she looked past him, at the people standing there all around them. The sad faces, she had seen when he hadn't. It was a bad habit of his to not be able to see anyone's pain but his own. "But what I can do… what I _can_ do is decide how I… I feel… and I don't want to feel bitter…"

Her eyes closed again, her lips curving up in a dazed but ephemeral smile. "and you… you shouldn't…either."

_I'm sorry._

"B-but I'm glad… I'm not alone ri-"

The last words got lost within the corporeal darkness that was overshadowing the light in her, but it seemed to come from the outside rather than from within her and so she couldn't quite tell what exactly was happening now, only where it would ultimately lead to.

How can you know that in the moment you close your eyes for a last time, the world won't fade along with you? How can everything just carry on existing without you there to see it? What if it had only been a dream and waking up would cause this world to vanish?

It was with these questions and an image of the man she left behind that she gave in to the pull, drawing her away from here, away from him, away from herself and she could barely feel the warmth of his hand holding hers any longer. Dying is a lonely journey leading to an even lonelier place, but she had no more strength to get off the train, so she closed her eyes and let the world drop dead.

…

…


	41. Aftermath

**41.**** Aftermath**

It was one sad picture to behold.

There he sat, Uchiha Sasuke, holding on to the remaining bit of life there was in the girl, he had left for his own selfish reasons. Holding her, talking to her, comforting her to keep away the approaching darkness as long as he could, trying to keep it away forever.

Not even _he_ believed that he had the slightest chance.

If Sasuke had known the power slumbering in his words, he would have thought twice, thrice, a dozen times all over, before announcing her death, before its actual occurrence. All of this was his fault in one way or the other… in more than one way… in _every_ way…

They made a good couple. They looked virtually the same with all the wounds and the blood staining their appearance. It would just take switching their position and the picture would work out just as well.

And here they were talking like this situation wasn't bound to end up with the demise of one of them. Talking like life would just go on, when the realization of what was inevitable shone through their every word. Maybe it'd be more than just one life that would be lost this day…

_We __all struggle and suffer through life, but we are the stronger for it. _

That sure couldn't be applied to any of them and especially _not_ to Sasuke. How could seeing a beforehand vitally alive girl, a girl that still had her whole life ahead of her, die, leave you the stronger for it?

It was too much.

Being the compassionate person she was, Hinata couldn't even watch other people cry without joining them right away, but this here, this situation, was still on a whole different level. Just watching them sit there, refusing to acknowledge that this was a goodbye, when everyone knew exactly that this is what it was, was heart-breaking. And when it already broke her heart, then just what did it do to their hearts? To Sasuke's heart, because he was the one living long enough to suffer the consequences of this loss.

-_Yes_, she was sure it wouldn't leave him any stronger.

Apart from feeling pity and grief of a kind, difficult to imagine by anyone who hadn't shared it, anyone who hadn't been here, Hinata was overcome by a sense of self-consciousness. Here she sat, watching them, watching the usually so strong Sasuke in this moment of weakness, watching this so very private moment that almost left her blushing, as though she had seen them kissing – actually she was used to feeling a sense of isolation and yet she has never felt as out of place in her whole life as she did now.

And so she finally forced her thoughts to retrieve her limbs and rose to her feet and it was just as she was standing that she realized she was trembling all over, realized she was the only one who didn't let her tears flow in silence, the only one who let them flow in the first place.

If this were another situation, she might have fainted with embarrassment, but as it was, her mind was too taken in by sadness to have place for anything else – least of all a false sense of shame. What was left though was enough decency to know when it was time to stay and when to leave, and right now it was clearly the latter. And so Hinata cast a last look at them, burning the picture into her memory, although she wished she hadn't. She'd rather remember her friend without the blood, without that haunted look in her eyes, but it was too late. Even now she could barely recall how she looked without any of these things – memory is a tenuous thing…

She walked around them, still sobbing, still shaking, and made her way to the other person, who looked as uncomfortable about being here as she felt.

_Not even Karin_… she thought, shaking her head lightly. In spite of how tough Karin was, in spite of how brusque, how insensitive, how _strong_ Karin was, not even she was left unaffected by what she saw and suddenly Hinata didn't feel so weak for crying anymore.

"C'mon." She leaned down to the redhead and offered her a hand, bringing her out of her thoughts, which the startled expression, flitting across her face made clear, but Karin soon caught herself and put her guard up again.

"I don't need your help." Karin said bitterly, narrowing her eyes slightly, much to Hinata's unease, but she kept her hand where it was.

"I know."

If there was one thing she knew, then it was that Karin didn't need help, but that wasn't what this was about anyway.

"Hmpf." Karin snorted, her eyes drifting off to the star-crossed lovers and the last moment they spent together. Once this was over, Sasuke would be free again, but this wasn't how she had imagined things. This wasn't how it should have happened.

A weary sigh escaped her lips, as she finally nodded and allowed Hinata to help her up, guiding her away from them.

They didn't walk for long and Karin knew of Hinata's destination: yet another victim of this fight.

"Lemme sit here." Karin said, as they had halfway reached Naruto. There was a stone here she could use as a backrest and from here she could see both Sasuke and Naruto, but was in no danger of overhearing anything of what they said. Neither the feigned hopeful words Sasuke used in order to delude Sayuri, nor the heart-wrenching sobs Hinata cried for her friend, cried for all of them at once.

God how she despised to see someone cry…

It was rather reluctantly that Hinata humoured her and took the hand from her back, she had placed there to support her and now she made her way to Naruto all by herself, all alone, knowing that he was in no immediate danger and yet he was anything but okay and what if they couldn't help him either?

As she had seen them there, Sasuke and Sayuri in their attempts at making things right before it was too late, her heartbeat had slowed down to the point of a near cardiac arrest, but now the thought of Naruto, of what might happen to him if she didn't make haste, served as her defibrillator, and she got a grip on herself, silenced her sobs as to not show weakness in front of _him_ and finally reached the blonde.

He was lying there on the ground, as alone as she was now and he almost looked like a turned-over turtle, helpless in a way she had not once seen. Not _her_ Naruto.

"N-Naruto-kun." She stammered and cursed herself for her shaky voice. Naruto was weak enough already, so she'd have to be strong for the both of them, to meet his expectations. Expectations he'd never voice out loud, expectations he maybe didn't have, but she did, and that because of him. He was the one who had convinced her that there was more to life, more to _herself_, and he had convinced her that she wouldn't be satisfied with less than she deserved. Her problem was solely discerning just what it was, how much it was she deserved, but well… she'd find out and once she had, she'd strive for it and not back down, before she had reached her aims, before she had achieved whatever she had set her mind on, because that was her nindo.

"H-Hinata…chan…" His eyes opened a little and his usually so loud and steady voice was only drowsy and even shakier than hers and it at once conquered all her fears of contact, all the insecurities, even the self-consciousness, she usually felt with him around, and gave her the strength to rush to his side, to take his held up hands and try to push them down, but it didn't work.

"W-what did they do to you…" She asked with a voice as soft as a mouse, but steady in one way or another.

He closed his blue eyes again, but didn't answer and Hinata has never heard a sound as terrible as his silence. And yet it also incited her, because for once it was Naruto who needed her help and not the other way around. She mightn't be a medic-nin, but she had other things, other things she was in the process of mastering in order to fight her own uselessness and now she had a chance to find out if it worked.

_Byakugan_.

The veins around Hinata's pale lavender eyes bulged and a concentrated look hardened her usually so soft features, as she scanned Naruto's chakra stream. There was practically no chakra leading into his Tanketsu, none of them. There was no chakra leading to his limbs, none leading to his organs, there was just nothing there.

As long as he kept lying, he'd be okay for a few more hours, but in case he should move, the strain would kill him, but then it didn't look like he was even able to move, not even when she tried to help with it. But there was another peculiarity. She could see a hint of chakra, not much, but at high concentration, centred at his back, though rather outside of it than in it, and it was shaped like a clean rectangle, as thin as a sheet of paper.

A seal!

"I-I need to turn you over." Hinata gulped audibly, waiting for her words to sink in, so she wouldn't catch him by surprise, since even that might or might not be deadly to him, she didn't have the necessary expertise to know, but she sure didn't want to take any risks.

"How is he?"

Hinata started up and was glad that she hadn't yet tended to her plans, because in that case, she might have hurled Naruto around and thrown him right off the small hill he was lying on and that sure wouldn't have been favourable in his condition.

"Y-Yamato-taichô." She gasped and held a hand to her heart, willing it to be calm again, before she answered his question, or their question, because she was sure that Kakashi and Neji, whom he was supporting, wanted to know all the same. They had their heads turned into another direction though, but that didn't mean a thing.

"Uhm… there is a seal on his back and… it drains him of his chakra. We need to remove it before he… before he…" She couldn't get herself to actually speak out these last words, she didn't want to tempt fate, which had proven well enough how capricious it could be today.

"Then do so." Yamato carefully put down the still unconscious, but not badly wounded Shino, and crouched down next to the Uzumaki and after nodding at the Hyuga, he placed his hands on Naruto's rigid arms and moved him on his side, so Hinata had a good view of his back and the seal placed right in the middle of it.

"O-okay." She murmured nervously and led a finger across the white paper rectangle with the black kanji in the middle of it. She just hoped there was no hidden function, no sort of self-destruct mechanism, but as far as she could tell with her Byakugan there wasn't. And so, after nodding to herself rather than to any of them, Hinata dug her nails under the tag and cautiously pulled it off, millimetre by millimetre.

It was only as the very last edge was off Naruto's jacket that his stiff posture relaxed from one second to the next and a loud gasp escaped him, containing a sort of relief that nearly made Hinata smile, if she weren't so concentrated on watching how the chakra spread from the point on his back through his whole body, but it was still so little, far too little to call him alright, although he was in no mortal danger any longer.

"Phew." Hinata sighed and leaned back a little, threatening to collapse into herself with ineffable relief, even as Naruto was left coughing there on the ground, rolling around and twitching a little, but he was moving and it was only the sudden overflow of energy (actually it was just a little, but not in comparison to before) that made him behave that way.

Once his chakra had evenly spread through his body again, he became still and now Yamato finally helped him sit up, keeping a hand on his back, because otherwise he would have fallen right back down, he was sure of that.

"Damn I'm hungry." Came out as Naruto's first words, now that he had joined the group of the actually living again.

"Pfft… Good to have you back." Yamato smirked briefly, glad that Naruto got off so cheaply in the end, but the overall situation soon pressured the corners of his lips down and so he again blend in with the people surrounding him, who looked as though heading for a funeral… and soon they would…

"P-please do take one." Hinata pulled out the food pills, she had stuffed into her pockets and offered them to Naruto in her open palms, with her gaze fixed on the ground. His increase in spirits had apparently caused her own to decrease.

"Huh?" He blinked confusedly, before he recognized the pills that had gotten them through the first part of this awfully long mission. "Oh! Thank you!" Naruto grinned and at once took her up on her offer and as his hand brushed Hinata's own ever so slightly, she could sense an incredible heat, engulf both her cheeks, same as her heart.

"Hm." She merely nodded stiffly, her mind blank for a moment, but she quickly recovered from all these sensations again and turned her head around and offered the remaining pills to the other people, who probably needed them just as badly. They might not be able to heal physical wounds, but they at least fought fatigue, increased one's chakra and supplied the body with everything it needed.

Neji gratefully took one and in that moment, Naruto already leaped to his feet, feeling as fresh as a daisy. His physical wounds had been healed by Sayuri already and now that his chakra had recovered and he was no longer hungry either, although he still felt like eating something solid, he was as fine as he could possibly be.

"So you did it?" Naruto asked although he already knew the answer, why else would they be here? Why were they even here? "Where did you come from anyway?"

"W-we searched you." Hinata gathered her courage to reply to him and was so stunned by the smile he gifted her with that she couldn't bring herself to tell him the true reason behind their mission. Not that she could have told Naruto in any other situation either…

"Aha-aha." He nodded knowingly. "Glad you found us in time. So who was it that killed him now, huh?"

"…"

That point was arguable, but that wasn't the reason why he received no answer. There were still some things left unclear that kept them rather wary.

"It's not… certain yet, if he is really dead." Kakashi chose his words carefully and at once drew some shocked faces towards him. Yamato was the only one who merely looked down, since they had talked about it already. "I'll need to talk to Sasuke first, but… this hardly seems like the right moment for it."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" The blonde asked, ever so noisy as they knew him to be, but his words caused everyone to look down now, unable to tell him the truth, when he was bound to find out soon enough anyway.

"What's with you? It's over isn't it? At least for now…" Even if they shouldn't have managed to kill Madara, they still had gotten Sasuke back and that was the actual purpose of the mission, so what was with all the gloomy faces?

Said faces or the owners of them, wouldn't help him overcome his own cluelessness and as he looked from one of the guarded expressions to the next, he at length saw Neji's pale eyes trail off to the right and he knew better than to ignore that little motion and as his own wide open eyes followed that direction, he saw a small group of people in the distance, standing with their backs to them.

Suigetsu. Kiba. Karin.

He looked from the group surrounding him, back to the other group, still waiting for an explanation, but as it wouldn't come, he just squeezed past them, leaped off the flat hill and rushed to where the others were standing.

His steps slowed down, as he had almost reached them. The three of them were standing in line, like they were a wall, so if he hadn't decelerated, he would have crashed right into their backs and they didn't look like they'd yield, though he clearly saw how worn out they looked.

"Yo! What's going on?" He asked casually, but was at once silenced by a hand on his mouth and a frightening glare of deep red eyes.

"Shut up, okay?" Karin's eyes narrowed further, waiting for a signal of understanding from the Uzumaki and after watching her with those artless blue eyes for quite a while, he finally nodded and with a sigh, Karin removed her hand from his mouth.

That was the reason why she had come back here. She had been perfectly fine actually at the spot, where Hinata had left her, but then she had seen Suigetsu and Kiba approach Sasuke and she knew how blatant Suigetsu could be, even in a situation such as this and so she had come back here, preparing to give him a good smack to the head, in case he only so much as thought of opening his great big mouth. Up to now she had successfully kept him silent, but now she had two blabbermouths to look after – _terrific_….

Naruto still watched her with those big, clueless eyes and gave her the very look that always made her want to shake her head, but she didn't. Instead she moved to the side, making room for Naruto to join the row of dismayed spectators, who could neither bear to look nor to look away.

Without letting any time lapse away, Naruto moved to the front to stand next to Karin, his eyes at once falling on the profile of a well-known man, or not really his profile, but not the back of his head either and he was cowering there on the ground in a weird posture and as much as he'd like to, he just couldn't understand why they were all watching him so solemnly. It was Sasuke alright – they had finally found him and as it seemed he was also back on their side, but that didn't explain the silent tribute they were paying him.

"But – _what_?"

Naruto heard him say and he didn't miss the urgency in his voice. He watched him shift his weight, and it was just then that Naruto saw another pair of legs, peek out from under the wide sleeves of Sasuke's dark cloak and he was bent at an angle that made it impossible to see who the other person was. Not like Naruto needed to see her to know…

"What the-" Naruto treaded forward, but was at once forced to a stop by Karin's outstretched hand.

"I told you to shut up." She hissed under her breath. "There's nothing you can do."

"No way…" Naruto shook his head and kept his widened eyes focused on what little he saw of his team-mates, refusing this to be true. But then he heard her, but her voice was so frail and quiet that it took his undivided attention to even make anything out.

"B-but I'm glad… I'm not alone ri-"

He no longer heard her, but he didn't know if that was because she had stopped talking, or because even his undivided attention wasn't enough. He wanted to believe it was the latter, but something deep down inside him knew this to be untrue.

"W-why… why doesn't anyone do anything?" His voice started off shaky, but ended up desperately. Why were they all just standing here, when she was… when she was dying there?

"Because no one can."

Naruto turned his head around to see Kakashi stand behind him, and although barely a tenth of his face was visible that little part was taken in by sadness, although not sadness of the kind that caused Naruto's eyes to sting and blurred his vision. Kakashi sure had paid attention during his emotion training, but that didn't mean he didn't have any.

"But there has to be _something_…" Naruto grimaced and looked from one of them to the other, as they had now all gathered here, but then he turned back to Sasuke, as he raised his voice again, barely louder than Sayuri had, which is why he missed the first part of what he said, but the last part was all too clear.

"…I didn't mean for this to happen… I'm sorry…"

And here they all became witness to how Uchiha Sasuke swallowed his pride and apologised – only the person, the apology was directed at, no longer did.

"This isn't… this can't…" Naruto bit into his quivering lip

All this time he had waited for Sasuke to apologise.

He had waited for him to apologise as they had been at the academy and Sasuke had made him look like a total loser whenever he could.

He had waited for him to apologise as they had become Genin and Sasuke had still kept on acting like he was a good for nothing, when he had even saved him from death.

He had waited for him to apologise for having left the village and fighting him there in the Valley of the End.

He had waited for him to apologise for returning to Konoha under false pretences only to leave again.

He had waited for him to apologise for any of the things he had put them through in the past years, but he never had and now the day had finally come and what good did it do him? What good did it do _anyone_?

"And that all because Konoha sends out a support-squad without a medic-nin…" Karin groused like she was in any position to do so. After all the squad had never been meant for her; in fact she was part of the reason, why it had been sent out in the first place.

"I-I'm s-sorry…" Hinata lowered her head, her voice still choked with tears and although she actually had nothing to apologise for, she still felt like she had to, because they've all had their role in their team. Kakashi and his Ninken had been there to track them. Yamato had been there for Naruto, in case he should lose control. And what has been her role? She has been there because they didn't send out teams with less than three people and she had been available. She had been available, but she was no medic-nin, so this was partly her fault.

Karin didn't seem to share her opinion on that one though, at least that's what the frown on her face told her.

"You have quite some issues, don't you?"

"Keep your moods to yourself." Kiba hissed, thinking it pretty unfair that Karin choose such an obviously inferior opponent to give vent to her ill-temper, especially since that opponent, his team-mate, happened to be under his personal protection. Ever since they had become a team, he had felt about her like she was his little sister and as such, he had always felt the need to protect her, since that's what a big brother does, isn't it?

"Pfft." Karin merely snorted, but didn't feel like reacting to the challenging undercurrent in Kiba's voice, not with how weak she felt and with the stinging in her side that made her cringe slightly and wrap her arms around herself.

"P-please take one." Ever so forgiving, Hinata offered her a small black pill and Karin only stared at her incredulously and wasn't sure if this was supposed to be a joke now.

Sasuke wasn't aware of anything going on around him. He just sat there in the remnants of his shattered family, holding on to someone who wasn't there anymore and someone who has never even come to be. His face didn't look sad though, she'd be proud of him, and he didn't really feel sad either. He felt nothing much at all to be honest – none of those internal, emotional things anyway. But he did feel her slender body that felt so fragile in his arms and yet he cradled her even tighter against his chest. After all he couldn't break her any more, could he? And he could feel her blood-soaked hair, his fingers were still curled around, still vainly trying to shut a wound that was beyond doing any damage now. And he also felt her cool skin, right there under his chin, where she liked to hide her face. Hadn't he liked that too? He could even taste her blood on his lips still, but it was cold and did justice to its owner.

Everything about her was dead. It was impossible to look at her and mistake her condition for sleep. Not even if it wasn't for the blood. And as again he could only hope that there wasn't anything after this, because her face was set in a way that looked too troubled for that of an angel, but this way the chances were higher that he'd see her again.

Maybe not having been alone as it happened, hadn't been enough to take her fear.

She hasn't been alone, in more than one way. She's had their baby after all, a baby she hadn't even wanted, and he has been with her, too. He had kept her company to her very last breath and now she had just left him. He'd like to resent her for it – it have always been these negative feelings that had brought him through life – but he just couldn't find them in him now. He couldn't feel anything but an overwhelming emptiness spreading like cancer that atrophied his insides, until there was nothing left but a hollow carcass and maybe… just _maybe_ it was more pleasant that way.

Yes—he thought he liked this here better than being confronted with the full force of this loss.

It was absurd and he didn't know just why he felt such a reluctance about letting go of the wound, of that soft spot on her skull that should be anything but that, the wound which had killed her, but he forced himself to overcome it, since it now didn't matter anyway – nothing did. But as he lowered his hand only a little her head fell back limply, too heavy for her lifeless body to hold up and he couldn't stand this sight. That is why he moved his hand up again, pressing her face against his chest, tugging her head under his chin and still he felt nothing. There was nothing, just a hollow feeling, a lack of pain, a lack of grief, a lack of any emotions and yet an apprehension that this condition wouldn't last forever. He had enough experience with that. He knew at least four of the five stages of grief well enough and he wondered if he'd ever make it to the fifth.

"Sasuke." Kakashi broke out of the line of quiet mourners and moved to his former student, but that one paid no attention to him. He just kept sitting there with his dead girlfriend in his arms, stroking the side of her face absent-mindedly and the Hatake had a hard time to imagine Sasuke as a feared killer, as an S-rank Nuke-nin, in spite of the Akatsuki cloak. Even now, or especially now, he could see nothing but a lost boy, broken by the hardships of life.

"You'll have time to grieve, but this isn't it." He placed a hand on his shoulder, expecting him to flinch at the touch, but he didn't. He didn't even look up, nothing. And it struck him almost as cruel that they would have to escort him back to Konoha, where he would most likely be locked away—

-no, where he _would_ be locked away. There was no most likely. Not with what he had done and they couldn't keep that to themselves, little as they knew about it. It wouldn't be right and then no one could expect them to keep quiet about what happened. Especially not Neji and he knew that Shino wouldn't lie either and they shouldn't have to, because in the end it had been Sasuke, who had dug his own grave and that of his girlfriend in addition. Pity didn't change that. Not even knowing that he was already suffering for his deeds, knowing that in the end he had lost more than he had gained, could change that.

"Damn it, Sasuke!" Naruto all but barked out in a tear-shaken voice, hating to see his friend like that. It was all wrong. This whole situation was wrong and he didn't know how to set things right again.

"Move over." Karin sunk to the ground right in front of Sasuke, but he wouldn't even give her a single look. "For fuck's sake get a grip on yourself." She snarled bitterly, unwilling to accept what happened to _her_ Sasuke, but she knew what situations such as this usually required. And so, for the first time, Karin raised her hand against Sasuke and gave him a smack across the face.

"Hey! What the hell's the matter with you?" Naruto snarled, thinking the redhead was totally overdoing things and in that moment he wanted to do the same to her – girl or not.

"Tze. Shut up or I'll change my mind about this." Karin glared at him over her shoulder, before she turned around to Sasuke again, seeing that she had his attention at least. "Let me see her okay?" She asked, rolling her eyes about the way he held her so possessively, as to not let death take away her body as well.

"Hn." He nodded slowly, his face blank, his eyes empty, but he did lower her a little and so Karin moved closer.

There was a bit there still, just a tiny bit and she wondered if it would do… The baby had a bit more life left in it even, but she had no idea in how far her chakra would even reach it… If they had given her that pill sooner, as she had still been awake, then she could have probably saved her but now… She couldn't even get her to bite her and there was so little of her own chakra left – not even enough to keep her organs functioning.

But she'd try nevertheless. She didn't know why though. It was anything but a pleasant procedure, her way of healing, and yet she offered to at least try to help her, without even knowing if it would work, but what she did know was that it would leave her hurting and exhausted. And that for someone she couldn't stand anyway… What in the world was wrong with her?

She pulled her sleeve up, exposing the still open wound, Sasuke's teeth had left there, but it didn't bleed enough to serve her purpose and so she sunk her own teeth into it, dug deep, right at the spot Sasuke's teeth and lips had touched before, almost like a kiss…

Once her mouth filled with her own blood, she stopped and quickly moved her lower arm to Sayuri's mouth, pulling her head back by her hair, so the blood could drop freely into her throat and wouldn't just gather there in her oral cavity, because the longer it took for her blood to enter Sayuri's system, the less efficient it became.

"Hold her." Karin commanded in a breathless voice; this wasn't as straining as when she would have bitten her, but then it wasn't as effective either and demanded even more of her blood. Sasuke did as he was told and held Sayuri's head, far more careful than she had, though.

Karin took her hand away now and wrapped it around her other arm tightly and pushed it down, almost like she was squeezing a lemon for the juice of it. It hurt a lot at the beginning, but as she had lost, or maybe donated, enough of her blood, her arm only felt numb and limb, a really unpleasant feeling and once her head was beginning to feel the same way, she had reached her limits. In fact this was even farther than she had meant to go, especially considering _who_ she was doing this for and how very little her sacrifice brought her. She has never been of the altruistic kind, so she really didn't know why she bothered anyway.

"That is… that is… all… I can do…" Karin panted open-mouthed and closed her eyes and she could have sworn that in that moment she felt exactly how the earth rotated around its own axis. She had always hated carousels.

Sasuke merely nodded, before he bent back a bit, so Sayuri would lean against his body and not fall, before he tentatively led his fingers to her neck, needing some time to prepare himself for actually touching her skin. But he did then. He did place his fingers on her carotid, feeling the most subtle beating under his fingertips.

A pulse. She had a pulse. It was weak though, really weak and unsteady, but it was there. Or was it his own? She didn't wake up and the wounds were still there too. They had closed a bit, but half her face was still covered with bruises and he didn't even want to find out, how it was with the wound on her head. There was a way for him to find out, actually more than just one way, but he wasn't ready for that yet…

"What is it now? Did it work?" Naruto took over for him, seeing the lack of any visible changes as a bad sign, which both his voice and his face made obvious. He received no immediate answer though. Sasuke kept sitting with Sayuri's limb body in his arms. Karin kept kneeling in front of them, still heavy breathing, still with her eyes closed. Kakashi kept standing right behind Sasuke, watching them vigilantly, but not saying anything. And the people all around Naruto didn't do anything but watching either, as short of an answer as he was, but also as pessimistic looking as he was. But then Hinata had the saving idea.

"_Byakugan_."

They heard her murmur in her soft voice and she at once drew all eyes to her and if she weren't so concentrated on the task she had set herself, she would have doubtlessly started blushing, because of so much attention.

"Sh-… she's alive." Very slowly a smile forced its way into Hinata's face, while her words merely raised shocked expressions among her listeners, but those soon yielded to happy expressions as well.

"Seriously?" Kiba asked before Naruto could, both a bit wary about the smiles that tried to spread on their faces.

"Hm." Hinata nodded. "But she's weak. Her chakra… I think she's in a coma… She'll need medical aid and… and – huh!" Hinata gasped suddenly and held her hands in front of her mouth, her pale eyes widened incredulously and they also all saw how her face turned a deep shade of red from one second to the next.

"And what?" Naruto asked, not just a little alarmed, by the sudden change in the Hyuga's expression and the way she deactivated her blood trait and turned her face away from them.

"A-a-and…n-n-n-n-nothing…" She shook her head quickly, still as red as a tomato and she doubted that would change anytime soon. Not after what she had just seen…

"Hm." The blonde watched her sceptically, but then shrugged her behaviour off as one of her quirks and finally joined the little group directly around Sayuri.

"I can't believe you really did it!" He crouched down beside Karin and gave her a wide grin, which only caused her to frown though, still feeling entirely winded and in need of some sleep, something to block out his overly loud voice and his overly good mood and maybe a blood transfusion. And as he then even put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it, she's had it with him.

"Don't touch me you idiot! I don't want to catch stupid!" She bickered and slapped his hand away and if looks could kill Naruto would have dropped dead right on the spot.

"Hey! I'm not contagious! I—" Naruto stopped as he realized that he just shot himself in the foot with that one and so he left it at rolling his eyes and turning back around to Sasuke, to bombard him with cheerful words now, while Karin left it at watching the dark-haired man. The very man because of whom Karin was in such a bad mood. First she had healed him and did she hear any thanks? – No. Then she healed his girlfriend for him and did he thank her for it? – Absolutely not. Like it was natural for her to do all these things for him.

"That wasn't too shabby Karin." Suigetsu stepped right behind her, no longer minding the gag order she put on him and Karin was anything but pleased about that. "What's gotten into you?"

"Tze… the devil in person…" The redhead hissed and stared off into the distance.

"Sheesh, sorry I asked." Suigetsu lifted his arms defensively, before he bowed down to Karin and added in a conspiratorial tone: "There, I just snatched them." He showed her his open hand full of small black pills that looked like chocolate drops. "Guess you'd do better with a Valium, but it's something, right?" The Houzuki grinned, whereas Karin merely snorted, but took a pill anyway.

"You're welcome Karin."

"Tze, you're one to complain…"

"Hm." He shrugged and turned around to Sasuke, who was now treating Sayuri's injuries with Kakashi, or well, Kakashi was treating them and Sasuke observed him like a watchdog, making sure he wouldn't make a mistake. "There. You look like you could need one, too."

The Uchiha looked up briefly, his eyes at once falling on the food pills and same as Karin, he didn't waste any time to take one, he really did need them after all. It didn't even take more than three seconds, as he already felt how his chakra increased and his degree of exhaustion decreased. Even his eyes became a bit better, although the sight of the left one was still strongly blurred, but at least the right one made up for that.

On Kakashi's command, he leaned Sayuri to the front so he could have a look at her head injury, which he at once began to bandage and Sasuke used that chance for a brief scrutiny of his own. From one second to the next, his deep black eyes turned crimson red and he noticed that, when he activated his Sharingan, his sight was still better than without it, but he doubted the improvement would stay. The Sharingan needed about twice as much chakra as his eyes usually did, which wasn't exactly much, but it still explained the difference. There was probably a limited number of how often his Mangekyou was able to perform certain attacks and he must have greatly exhausted his number of Amaterasu during the fight, which would explain why his left eye was so much worse than the other. He wondered how many there were left still, but he doubted he'd need more than one hand to count them.

However, he hadn't activated his blood trait to test the remaining capability of his eyes, but to check Sayuri's chakra stream himself and not only hers. There it was, the smaller, second source. Much weaker than he remembered it to be, even weaker than that time as they fought them, but so was hers, and it didn't exactly come as a surprise. It was much more surprising that it was there at all, but then the Uchiha were known for their persistency – Uchiha Madara was the best example for that…

He closed his eyes again, feeling somewhat lighter than just a few seconds ago in a way he couldn't quite describe, but it was that feeling which kept him from opening his eyes right away, but as he did then, his blank black eyes met confused blue ones.

"What did you do that for?" Naruto asked with a puzzled frown on his face, but it wouldn't be Sasuke, but Suigetsu who reacted to his question and then 'reacted' wasn't the right word either, he rather just ignored him.

"Got your family back together, huh?" The Houzuki scratched the back of his head and grinned cheekily, knowing exactly what Sasuke had just done.

"Hn." He nodded stoically. "If they'll make it, that is."

"Wow – a bit of optimism wouldn't hurt you, seriously."

"_They_?" Naruto murmured to himself, going through Sasuke's words again.

"I mean, you could like… at least look like you're glad about this, you know?" Suigetsu shrugged, folding his hands in front of his chest and for once an almost thoughtful expression settled on his face. "You see, Madara is dead – and by the way I still don't know why you did that – and well, yeah – they are safe so…" His voice trailed off and now Karin took over.

"Yes, Sasuke! How about a: _Thank you so much for saving her Karin, I'm deeply indebted to you_." She started off in a low voice but then switched to one, a tad higher than her own: "Ah, nevermind Sasuke, it was just my blood and-"

"-Thank you, Karin." Sasuke interrupted her rant, with the very words she hadn't expected to ever hear from him and they left Karin gaping at him like a fish and maybe Suigetsu's words had raised his spirits after all, because there was something with his lips, not quite a smile – by no means – but not quite _not_ a smile either.

"You really have a thing for being overdramatic, don't you?" Suigetsu said and what would have usually ended with him, being reduced to a puddle, was now left uncommented.

_Thank you, Karin._

This could have been seen as a means to shut her up. A means to keep her from rambling on, but there was nothing but sincereness in his eyes. Sincere gratitude and it brought angry tears to Karin's eyes to see that. See that he cared. Cared for that woman, but also for her, only to a lesser extent. Much lesser and that wouldn't do for her. And not only that. It was that look in his eyes, which made her realize that she's never had a chance. That she searched for love at a deserted or maybe just occupied place. A place where there's no room for her. Where she was superfluous.

Maybe Sayuri had been right after all, maybe sometimes loving someone meant letting go. In spite of the hurt… In spite of the unfairness. He was the man who had helped her get over the loss of her whole village, her family. He had helped her regain her spirits, had led her back into life with that simple smile. The smile of a boy, who didn't know her and had yet gifted her with such a warm, genuine gesture that it had made her feel like she was _somebody_, because no one would smile at a nobody, right?

He had done all that, had practically conquered all her inferiority complexes (and she's had more than enough reasons to develop them – being a plump geeky girl, without even a trace of any talents back then) with his mere existence. And they had gone through so much together; she had stayed with him through so many terrible times, so many hardships, for the sole reason, for the sole hope of ever seeing that look again. All this time she had only wanted to see that smile again and there it was now, in its rawest form, only that it wasn't turned her way this time…

If things were different, she might have found a way to overlook that, to carry on searching for reasons to stay with him and bide her time, until he would again look at her and really _see_ her. But as it was, she just couldn't because of Sayuri. Because, although she didn't have the slightest idea why, she was actually beginning to… to… to not dislike her so very much anymore and how could she not dislike the person who had taken all this from her? When she saw them together, at whom should she direct her wrath then, if not at her? There was just one person left – the person who had just thanked her for giving him up – giving every hope of even the tiniest, shallowest _them_ up…

"Tze…" Karin shook her head and bit into her quivering lip, the first indicator of the tears that were about to pool her eyes, which is why she quickly shot to her feet, so no one would see them. "You're an asshole, Uchiha Sasuke." She spat angrily, her voice already shaky from the strain of holding back those sobs, and now she turned around, knocking down a surprised Suigetsu and stalked off without having learned her lesson. Because if she had, she would have known that by leaving him, she didn't automatically leave behind the tears, she had held back for years, because she had thought he expected her to.

Now she had gotten to know the hard way that he never expected anything of her.

Sasuke not once looked up as Karin walked out of his life. Grateful as he was, he knew this was for the better.

"What's with her?" Kiba reappeared on the scene, right next to him his huge dog, only that he wasn't white any more, but his fur had taken on an orange shade. Once he had known that Sayuri was okay, Kiba had at once taken off to look after Akamaru, who had been stuck in a crevice and hadn't been able to get out of it by himself, but with his help and that of Kakashi's dogs, they had gotten him out of there and now, with the food pill, he was as good as new. That was why Kiba had missed out on what had just happened, but it's not like the others knew so much more either, which is why he only received some shrugs in response and which is also why no one had gone after the redhead.

"Ah! So why are you all talking about _they_?" Naruto asked, now that he remembered both Sasuke's, same as Suigetsu's words and there was even that grin on the Houzuki's face, which made him sure that he hadn't just misheard them.

"Shall I tell them or do you want to?" The white-haired man turned to the Uchiha, who seemed even less talkative than he usually was, which was quite something, although right now it was mainly contra productive. "I mean, it's not like you can keep it secret much longer… It'll show soon enough. It _does_ show already, doesn't it? …I think it does…" Suigetsu's voice trailed off as he watched the unconscious girl carefully and now he finally did get a reaction by Sasuke, but only in form of an indignant glare.

"Heh…?" Naruto emitted an intelligent sound and stared from one of them to the other, not quite able to follow.

"Is this the time to congratulate you now?" Kakashi asked once he found his voice again, which had taken quite some time – ever since he had pulled up his forehead protector in order to have a look at Sayuri and ended up seeing more than he would have expected.

"No." Sasuke said simply and now that they had finished their treatment, he carefully pulled off his Akatsuki cloak and draped it closely around Sayuri, before he rose to his feet with her in his arms.

"Not yet." He added, his voice calmer now and Kakashi understood. He understood his predicament, he understood that Sasuke couldn't yet lower his guard and begin hoping, lest he should lose them again. He had already lost his family twice, a third and final time would be beyond what he could take. And though he knew all that, the Jounin couldn't help but to beam, in spite of how inappropriate that was. For a moment he even forgot what awaited Sasuke in Konoha.

"Damn it! Will someone fill me in for crying out loud?" Naruto yelled impatiently, hating to be left out when everyone else seemed to know what was going on.

"Sasuke is becoming a father." The Hatake smiled at him, along with Suigetsu, but those two remained the only ones smiling, since the other people were too busy with either looking shocked or gloomy.

"Heh… How's that…?" Naruto asked furrowing his brows, but then his blue eyes widened suddenly with understanding and you could see the blood rise into his face, like the mercury rises in a thermometer. "Y-you mean she… she…" Naruto stammered, for once in his life lost for words.

"Noo…" Suigetsu rolled his eyes. "Sasuke is."

"Wha—Hey!" The blonde barked and shook his head quickly, as if to shake off the shock and although he still felt more than uncomfortable, he also felt exceedingly happy for him – for them. "Y-you mean… she's like… well… you know…err…"

"Pregnant, Naruto." Kakashi sighed with a wide smirk under his mask, and his words at once brought the red back to Naruto's face. Here he was, not even having had a single girlfriend in his life and Sasuke was already having a family? He just _had_ to beat him in each and every way, that show-off.

"Huh…" The blonde exhaled sharply and stared off into space, still not really able to grasp what's going on, he's always been a little slow on the uptake, but this time it was understandable even. "I think I need to sit down…"

"A father, eh?" Kiba turned to Sasuke and scrutinized him with a raised eyebrow, trying to imagine him changing diapers or playing with a baby, but he just couldn't. "Well done I guess…" He smirked at the Uchiha, who didn't know what to make of his reaction.

"I injured you." Sasuke frowned at the Inuzuka, wondering how he could talk to him this way after what he had done. These guys were just too much…

"I know that." Kiba growled and narrowed his eyes slightly. "You could have been more careful there…"

"Hn." Sasuke merely shrugged and cast an impatient look at the grey-haired Jounin, who at once knew what he wanted.

"We'll need to hurry back to Konoha. Tsunade-sama will have to take a look at her." Kakashi explained and nodded at Sasuke, who then copied his gesture mutely, and was just about to start walking, if it hadn't been for a shocked gasp coming from Naruto.

"K-Konoha…!" He stammered, his blue eyes as wide as saucers and now he leaped to his feet and stared at Sasuke with a mixture of dread and hesitance. "H-he wasn't serious about that, was he?"

"About what?" Yamato asked, still in the process of putting Shino's unconscious body on Akamaru's back with Kiba's help, but now after Naruto's words Kiba's body had frozen and he wasn't much of a help any longer.

"Sasuke?" Naruto gave the Uchiha a pleading look, like that had any influence on the truth.

"He didn't fill me in." Sasuke started, thinking back of Madara's words. It seemed like it had been an eternity ago, when in reality it has not even been an hour. "But he has no reason to lie, has he?"

"How should I know?" Naruto wailed desperately. "You tell me!"

"Hn." Sasuke shrugged, having said all he knew to that matter. "We should set out." He started walking ahead, whereas the others stayed where they were, not as indifferent about this situation as the Uchiha apparently was.

"What do you mean?" Yamato asked again and watched the overall gloomy faces around him with a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"The Akatsuki – he said he sent one of his men to Konoha to search for Naruto." Kiba stuttered once he had shaken off his paralysis.

"Oh, I see." Yamato nodded simply, much to the dismay of the people surrounding him.

"_I see_?" Naruto exclaimed incredulously, not having the slightest clue how the ANBU could keep his cool in a situation such as this. "We need to hurry back before… before…"

"Calm down Naruto." Kakashi soothed him, as composed as his team-mate. "You should not underestimate the shinobi of Konoha-Gakure. A single Akatsuki won't pose much of a threat to a whole village. Especially since you are here, so there is nothing for Akatsuki to find in Konoha. They'll be fine, even without us there."

"B-but…"

"Do you have so little trust in Tsunade-sama's administration, Naruto-kun?" The Hatake asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course not!" Naruto negated vehemently and Kiba shook his head as well, although he hasn't been directly addressed, but he has been just as doubtful as the blonde.

"See? They probably chased him away already." Yamato shrugged, but then saw how his comrade's countenance darkened visibly. "Kakashi-senpai?"

"Let us go then." The Hatake merely shook his head and took after Sasuke, not so sure about the encouraging words they had soothed Naruto with. In case it was that one Akatsuki, or the group who killed Jiraiya, those because of whom they had been sent here in the first place, then maybe Konoha wasn't as safe, as he tried to make the blonde believe. Tsunade had actually sent them out for exactly that reason; to get Naruto back, so he could have a look at Jiraiya's last message and help them figure it out and to prepare Naruto for Jiraiya's death of course, but this hardly seemed like the time for it.

In case it really was Pain and he had already reached the Hidden Leaf, then they would have to keep Naruto away from there, and if he already knew about the death of his sensei, then there'd be no holding back for him, which meant yet more secrecy. But they couldn't keep them away from Konoha, now that they had said Sayuri needed Tsunade's help, so they'd have to buy some time, hoping that Madara had lied after all or that Pain had drawn back after not finding Naruto where he was supposed to be…

"Neji-nii-san?" Hinata looked up, once she had finished wrapping Neji's arm up as best as she could. He hadn't said a single word yet and looked so gloomy, at first she had thought it was because of Sayuri's condition, but now she was alive and he still looked so dejected, maybe there was more to it than just a broken arm and a broken friend. "Are you okay?"

"Hn." He nodded gravely and pulled his garments back in place.

"It's gonna be okay, you'll see." She tried to encourage him, but her words seemed to have the opposite effect on her cousin, since his expression darkened even further.

"Your help is greatly appreciated, Hinata-sama." Neji rose to his feet and slowly took after the others, so he didn't see how a saddened expression flitted across Hinata's face because of his formal addressing.

_Hinata-sama_.

He was always there for her when she needed someone, but his position within their clan, his _only_ being a part of the branch-family, had imprinted so deep in his mind that he wouldn't allow her to be there for him – after all, the concerns of the branch family should hardly concern the main family, right? These old-fashioned family structures were terrible. In spite of his abilities, Neji would never get a chance to rise within their clan, only because his father happened to be born a few seconds later than Hinata's own. It could have just as well been the other way around and then Hinata would be stigmatised with the seal that doomed the branch-members to protect the main house with their lives. She could understand perfectly well why he used to abominate her, which made her even more grateful about his change of heart…

Still his apparent pain troubled her, same as the fact that he didn't trust her far enough to open up to her and probably never would. That is also why she had sometimes envied Sayuri for her relationship with him. Envied, but not resented, because she had been glad all the same that Neji had someone, who was there for him in the way he was always there for her – and to be honest it wasn't really surprising that Neji hadn't found this someone among the members of his own clan; not after everything it had put him through…

"Hinata-sama?" Neji halted and turned around, the last one in the group of people, who had now all started walking – all but Hinata.

"Y-yes." She stammered hastily and closed up to them.

"So, Sasuke-kun." Kakashi addressed the dark-haired man walking next to him, the two of them forming the peak of their not so small group. "There is something about Madara that is giving me trouble. Will you answer my questions?"

"…" The Uchiha didn't say anything for a while, mentally collecting all the data he had about Uchiha Madara and sorting them into categories that could be shared and others that couldn't. It surprised him a bit just how little there was to fill either category. "Provided I can."

"Fair enough." Kakashi nodded, sure that Madara wasn't of the kind to trifle with his secrets, not even in front of his allies. "Then tell me, how did he manage to stay alive?"

"Resentment." Sasuke replied simply out of lack of a better answer.

"Hm…" Kakashi eyed him vigilantly, trying to find out if he was hiding something, but his student passed his examination and so he carried on. "What was it about his abilities?"

"He possesses the eternal Mangekyou Sharingan. He is proficient in elemental nin-jutsu and space-time nin-jutsu."

"Thought so." Kakashi sighed, fully aware of the two layers of meaning Sasuke's words contained. At first the obvious one, the actual meaning of his words. He had already figured that Madara had used a space-time jutsu, as he had seen his attack that so much resembled his Kamui – only that it had seemed like an advanced version of it. He had hoped he had been wrong, because this piece of knowledge led to a rather alarming assumption, which had only just been verified by the second layer of meaning of Sasuke's utterance: the fact that he had talked in a present tense.

The interrogation ended up shorter than both parties had assumed, but there was nothing more to add. They were both aware of the fact that Madara might or might not be dead. It wouldn't be the first time he had feigned his death and there was no point in arguing that he didn't have the necessary skills for that – in spite of his condition, in spite of being attacked from two sides simultaneously. They had seen him wounded, lethally so, but they hadn't seen him die and being sucked into another dimension was no obstacle for someone who had the ability to create dimensions of his own accord.

Maybe they had cheered too early.

"Yo! Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto had apparently recovered from the previous shock, which had kept him uncannily quiet for the last ten minutes. "I understand you about having trust in Konoha and all, but shouldn't we hurry nevertheless?"

"No, Naruto-kun." Kakashi negated simply and raised a sullen expression on the blonde's face, which caused him then to explain. "How do you imagine that? We have too many wounded people with us and—"

"Bu—" Naruto wanted to interrupt him, but was then interrupted by interrupting.

"-And", Kakashi repeated in an emphatic tone, "if we assume that Akatsuki is after you and that they will definitely not find you in Konoha, they might come searching for you, so we'll need to pay attention. We aren't in the condition for a confrontation, so we'll have to make sure we won't run into them."

"Tze… just let them come. I'll show them what I'm made of…" Naruto grumbled under his breath, but Kakashi heard him nevertheless.

"Another time maybe…" The Hatake shrugged and concentrated on the path again. This hasn't been another way to put Naruto off. They really did have to expect Akatsuki to show up and with two unconscious and another severely wounded person, he really didn't want to face the man who killed one of the legendary Sannin.

"Oi, Sasuke!" The Uzumaki suddenly exclaimed, after they had run another fifteen minutes in almost-silence. They were running, but not as fast as they could and not even nearly as fast as Naruto wanted to. "How about explaining what this was all about? How come you ended up with Akatsuki?"

"…"

"I mean seriously! Just what has gotten into your head? She is pregnant and you just leave her and then even watch how she fights Karin and—"

"I didn't know it." Sasuke interrupted him, not needing Naruto's words to make him feel even guiltier.

It was _guilt_. He was sure of that…

"She didn't tell you?" Naruto asked, feeling his anger deflate slightly, but it was still there, he still remembered all too well, seeing Sayuri cower on the ground and cry her eyes out and much worse still the time when she hadn't cried anymore and just drifted through life without any incentive. It had been terrible to see her so resigned and now more or less knowing the reason made it even worse. How could he have done that to her to join Akatsuki? It didn't matter if she was pregnant or not…

"She didn't know either."

"O-kay…" Naruto murmured sceptically. "But now you do?"

"Hn."

"Oh! So that's why you kidnapped her, huh?"

This time Sasuke merely nodded, thinking back of the time he had locked her there in that dark room, thinking she had actually meant to keep the baby secret from him and resenting her for it in a way he could no longer relate to.

"Doesn't happen too often that a man can tell his girlfriend that she's pregnant, eh?" Kiba joined their conversation and his words at once raised an absent smile on Naruto's face as he tried to imagine that very situation.

They must have been really happy. After all, they both grew up without a family and now they'd have their own. And he was sure they'd be good parents and he could barely wait to see what's underneath Sasuke's tough shell, because he was sure that he wouldn't be able to keep it up around his baby.

Damn, he really wanted to be mad at Sasuke, but how could he possibly maintain his level of rage, right now?

"I bet she leaped for joy as you told her!" Naruto grinned and winked at the Uchiha and Kiba couldn't help grinning either, but not for long.

"No." Sasuke said grimly and at once drew quite some negatively-startled faces towards him.

"_No_?" Naruto frowned, not so sure what to make of that.

"No." He repeated again without any emotions in his voice. "It scared her." He looked down at the unconscious girl in his arms and brushed her hair out of her blood-stained face and there was something so intimate and yet sad about that simple gesture that both Naruto and Kiba averted their eyes and slowed their steps down a little to give him some privacy.

Only Kakashi remained where he was, and after he had given Sasuke some time to dwell on his thoughts, he addressed him in a subdued voice.

"You know what awaits you in Konoha…"

"Hn." Sasuke took his eyes from Sayuri's pallid face and turned them to the Hatake, before he nodded slightly.

"As far as I'm concerned, you've made some wrong decisions, but in the end you set things right again before anyone came to harm."

"That's hardly the case." Sasuke hissed bitterly, carrying the undeniable evidence right there in his arms.

"I know." Kakashi sighed. "And I know that this is the greatest punishment you could possibly get…" He was talking out of experience here. There was nothing worse than losing or only endangering the people dear to you – no prison could be as cruel as the prison of guilt, created by your own mind and he knew all that, because he has been living in that prison for half his life already and he had condemned himself to a life sentence…

"But other people might think differently about that." Actually the _might_ was superfluous at this point, he knew they would.

"I'm aware of that." Sasuke nodded and turned his attention back to the path that would lead them to the village, he had actually meant to never see again – if at all then only once and for a last time.

Kakashi didn't know that he only returned to Konoha for a single reason and that was here in his arms, but he had no intention of staying there. He had yet to find out how he would proceed. Once he had brought Sayuri to Tsunade they would probably arrest him and he'd not only have to free himself, but also get her away, once she was healed again and who knew how long that would take… Maybe feigning regret and inventing a good story would save his hide. Maybe he'd find a way to leave Konoha without actually fleeing it…

"Good." Kakashi nodded.

Sasuke has always been his most anticipatory student. His years with Orochimaru had taught him a lot about how the world of shinobi worked – probably more than he could have ever learned within the village, because they expected their shinobi to be in no need of this kind of knowledge…

He was a good kid though. In spite of all the things he had gone through he had never adapted to all the evil around him. His problem was that he was too easily led for his own good, but that wouldn't undo the things he had done. But with a baby, with his own family, he was sure that Sasuke would finally become more stable, that he'd finally be able to find his peace, and secretly Kakashi had already freed him of his guilt, but unfortunately his opinion didn't count too much. Other people didn't have a soft spot for Sasuke, but he… in spite of everything that happened, in spite of everything Sasuke had ever done, Kakashi still saw in him that twelve year old boy – a part of the first Genin team he had ever accepted.

Despite everything Kakashi still saw him as his student and there was probably nothing that could change that. That must be how the third Hokage felt about Orochimaru.

"Kakashi-senpai!" Yamato rushed towards the Jounin, a distressed look on his face, which soon infected all other faces as well. "Up there." He pointed his hand to where Konoha was situated, only that he didn't point straight ahead, but into the sky.

"What is this?" Naruto frowned and squinted his eyes, trying to make out any details about that black dot in the sky. All he could tell though was that it wasn't a dot, but that was all.

"T-there's a man in the sky." Hinata stammered, her Byakugan activated. "He is… flying?"

"_Flying_?" Naruto asked a bit dumbfounded, until it occurred to him that it wouldn't be so very remarkable for Akatsuki to have a flying man, next to all the immortal ones they occupied. However then it struck him that this was an Akatsuki and that he was in the village and that there had to be a reason why he was flying there above it.

"H-he is gathering a huge amount of chakra." Hinata informed them, her voice uncommonly loud, because of the shock that had taken hold of her. Neji had activated his Byakugan as well, but his reach wasn't as wide as that of Hinata. He might be better at the clan-typical jutsu, but Hinata doubtlessly had the better eyes.

"Damn! We need to hurry! C'mon!" Naruto barked and was just about to run ahead, when the earth began shaking violently and a thick wall of smoke appeared on the horizon. Rose, billowed and moved.

And closer and closer it came.

…

…


	42. Homecoming

**42. Homecoming**

If ever the sky should fall down on the earth, this is exactly what it would look like.

There in the distance, where they had already seen the top of the mountain chain, with the faces of the Hokage carved into it, was now nothing but a massive, menacing cloud of smoke that perfectly resembled the thunderclouds in the sky and smoothly blended into them like they were one. One hostile, insatiable mass that had only just swallowed the whole Leaf Village like it was nothing and now it crawled closer to them, ever so slowly but relentlessly all the same, on the lookout for its next victims.

The earth had stopped shaking for the most part, but there was still a slight vibration, barely more than that of a tuning fork and yet it went from the ground right into their bodies and shook their bones unpleasantly. Reminding the group of shinobi of all the little and big wounds they had sustained in the course of the previous battle that had consumed the first half of this still relatively young day.

With how much already happened; all the twists and turns in the cosmic plot, the actors that entered and exited the stage (one hopefully forever) and then the dark scenery the heavens had chosen for themselves, it would seem natural to believe that it was night already, when in reality it was probably just early afternoon and this already far too long and eventful day was far from being over yet. And for some unknown reason the group of ninja doubted that the rest of it would be so much better than the first part…

"W-what is this?" Naruto stuttered; shock having collaborated with the trembling earth to make his voice come shaky through his rattling teeth.

"Th-th-that is…" Hinata stammered, her face looking like she had just caught a glimpse of hell and just who knew what was really lurking there underneath that dense blanket of smoke, because Hinata, who knew, was too sensitive to bear that sight.

"Hinata-sama!" Neji was at once there to catch her, before her head would have hit the ground.

It was always weird to hear Neji call her that, especially in a situation such as this, when no one minded any honorifics, but Neji did. More out of habit probably, but he still did. You could tell that he respected, if not liked his younger cousin and yet, with her around, he tended to keep in the background, relinquishing his personality to blend into a role, he has been born into and that necessitated him to spend his life in the shadows of the main house. A tradition so much older than the people espousing to keep it alive and yet none of the adversaries had the strength to wipe the dust off these old fashioned ways; the Hyuga's cursed seal ensured that.

Nonetheless Neji had managed to overcome his resentment towards his main-house cousin, knowing that the same fate, which had caused him to be born into the branch family, had chosen her to be born into the main house and also made her unable to do anything about it. All of this was as much her fault, as it was his own and with that realization he had managed to overcome his feelings of bitterness.

With Hinata it had become a little easier to breathe in his cage.

With Sayuri he had sometimes forgotten he was locked at all.

"Hinata-chan! Wake up! What did you see?" Naruto stood in front of her, turning his face from the unconscious girl to the smoke screen, which had finally come to a stop, but didn't fade just yet.

"Screaming doesn't help." Neji hissed, ever so protective and now Kiba came, knowing what _did_ help, after all he had been in a team with her for years and had witnessed her fainting fits often enough. And so he simply began fanning wind into her face with his hands, and repeated her name, over and over again, seeing her lids flutter a bit already.

"Step aside." Kiba gave Naruto a little push, before her lids had opened entirely, because he was sure that when Hinata opened her eyes and Naruto would be the first thing she saw, she'd pass out again right away. He's had some experience with that, too.

"…" A drawn-out sigh passed Hinata's lips, as she finally came to and as she saw the faces looming over her, a light shade of pink settled on her cheeks, but she was too dazed still for full-out embarrassment.

"What did you see?" Kiba asked carefully, once his team-mate seemed more or less awake again and his question managed to disperse even the last clouds of stupor that had cloaked Hinata's mind. She gasped sharply now, curling her tiny fingers around the fabric of Neji's sleeve, before she pushed herself into a sitting position.

"Th-there… there…" She stammered urgently, her expression again dominated by shock. "I-it's gone! It's all gone!"

"What is gone?" Naruto asked, trying to keep his volume down, although he felt like screaming.

"K-Konoha!" Her pale eyes began pooling with tears, like pearls in the ocean. "Konoha is gone!"

"What? How can it be gone?" Kiba asked, refusing to even imagine any of this, but the tears in Hinata's eyes made it hard not to. She was about the last person to lie, but that didn't make it any better…

"No." Naruto shook his head with a vacant look on his face, fighting back the tears himself.

This couldn't be happening. They've been searching for him. Akatsuki had gone to Konoha in order to capture him, but he hasn't been there. He has neither been there to fight, nor has he been there to sacrifice himself if necessary, and he would have done that. There were so many people in Konoha, not only ninja, but also civilians and children – so many children – and now, because of him, because he hasn't been there, they all… the whole village was gone…

"Naruto!" Yamato appeared at his side, feeling the Kyuubi's chakra stir in him, so he already went into position, with his flat-hand stretched out in front of him, ready to use the first Hokage's technique in order to suppress the Nine-Tailed in Naruto.

"Tenzô." Kakashi appeared right next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head meaningfully, before the Jounin focused his attention on his student.

"Calm down, Naruto-kun." He said soothingly. "We'll need to hurry to Konoha and see what we can do, so it's advisable for you to keep a clear head, okay?"

At first he did nothing but growl, but then the Kyuubi's chakra finally subsided and he lowered his head, before he nodded mutely.

"Good." Kakashi sighed, having a hard time himself to stay calm with what was happening in the Leaf Village – he didn't even know what exactly was happening there, only that it was apparently not there anymore, which he could hardly imagine, but even so that didn't change anything about the fact that the village was in quite a plight.

"Then let's go!" Naruto leaped to his feet, shaking off every trace of shock – this wasn't the time for feeling guilty and wallowing in self-pity – he might still be able to do something, even if that was only making the Akatsuki pay for what he's done – he'd do whatever he could.

"You're right." The Hatake, who had turned into their unofficial team-leader, agreed. It would be easier to teach a chicken to read, than to keep Naruto away from there, so he gave up on their former strategy, but first he turned to Hinata again, voicing the one question whose answer they all dreaded: "What about the villagers?"

Naruto stopped in his tracks at once and now all eyes were focused on Hinata, who still sat on the ground between her cousin and her team-mate, her head weighed down by the load of tears she was trying to keep from flowing.

"M-many have been evacuated… and… m-many… many have been too far away…" Hinata broke off and everyone knew the meaning of what she hadn't said. But her words also contained hope. As long as there were still people left, there was still someone to fight for. Things weren't entirely lost yet.

"If we hurry we'll make it to Konoha in ten minutes. Use that time to prepare yourself for a fight." Kakashi announced and roamed his eyes over the battered looking group of people – of children – surrounding him. They didn't seem ready for a fight against a person who had destroyed the whole Leaf Village in the blink of an eye, but he knew that appearances can be deceptive – he had seen often enough what this bunch of kids was able to do.

After nodding at each other, they all rushed ahead, everyone except for Hinata, who kept walking beside Akamaru, making sure Shino wouldn't fall off his back and Sasuke, who even decreased his pace slightly.

He was aware that Sayuri had no time to lose, but he wasn't so sure any more if it was really in his interest to go to Konoha, with what was going on there. Who knew what happened to Tsunade, but even if she should have escaped the explosion unharmed, she was probably too busy or distracted to look after Sayuri properly and when Konoha was destroyed, so was the hospital, which meant he couldn't even bring her there. She badly needed medical treatment, but he couldn't be sure if she'd get it in what was left of the Leaf Village.

"Say, Sasuke…" After noticing that Sasuke hadn't joined their group, Suigetsu had come to a stop as well and waited for Sasuke to finally catch up to him. "You didn't know about this, did you?"

"No." Sasuke shook his head slowly, absent-mindedly. "I didn't."

"Thought so." Suigetsu nodded, smirking slightly. "Sooo… are we gonna help them?"

"That is something you have to decide for yourself." The Uchiha said bleakly, not so sure why the Houzuki still followed him. He knew why he had followed him back then, as they had decided to stay in Konoha and he also knew why he had followed him to Akatsuki – all these actions served his own goal. But why did he still treat Sasuke like the leader of a team that had long since shattered? Where was his gain in that?

"The way you say that sounds almost like you weren't glad to have me here…" Suigetsu raised an eyebrow, feigning to be offended.

"I don't understand your motivation."

"Huh?" The white-haired man gave him a puzzled look, before he started chuckling lightly. "Oh, well… need to make sure my godchild will be okay." He winked at his team-mate deciding to ignore the way he narrowed his eyes. "Besides I kind of like her – she's definitely better than Karin. Glad she finally hit the road…"

"Hn." Sasuke shrugged, knowing that Suigetsu would miss her soon enough, but that wasn't his concern. "There is no other village around, so I'll have to bring her to Konoha, but I don't intend to fight." He informed him about his plans, leaving it to Suigetsu to decide about what he'd do.

"Fine." Suigetsu shrugged and crossed his arms behind his head casually. "I don't know yet. Maybe, when he's got some nice swords…" His voice trailed off, while an anticipating grin curled his lips up. He'd never change…

"S-Suigetsu-kun?" They heard a soft voice behind them and so the two men looked over their shoulder, at a fairly uncomfortable looking Hinata.

"-_Kun_?" The Houzuki raised an eyebrow, not able to recall the last time someone addressed him this way, not recalling ever having been addressed by the female Hyuga anyway.

"Y-you might want to… to take off t-that c-cloak…" She stuttered, her eyes glued to the ground.

"You want me to take my clothes off?" He asked in a scandalised tone.

"N-n-no! It's not that…" Hinata turned bright red from one second to the next, fighting back a sense of dizziness that tried to force her to her knees.

"Nah! I was just kidding." He waved her off with a wide grin on his face. "You actually got a point there." He pulled off the fairly conspicuous cloak that would have probably gotten him stoned to death, the second he set foot in Konoha.

"Here. She still looks like she's freezing." He threw the cloak over Sayuri's unconscious body, having noticed the bluish tint of her lips, but what he also noticed was the way Sasuke stiffened, as he only moved closer to her and that kind of amused him. "Easy now, I won't hurt her, or anything."

–-He wasn't suicidal.

They were walking through the woods immediately surrounding the Leaf Village and the closer they came to it, the more the green of the trees and the ground yielded to a monotonous beige. Just about everything was covered with dust and debris, which gave you a good idea of the extent of the explosion that had occurred here.

They had almost reached Konoha's main gate, which still stood erect, hiding the damage beyond its high walls, about five minutes later than the time Kakashi had announced, but they didn't at once enter the village, since they saw two men, standing in the cover of some trees.

"Hey!" Suigetsu called out to them and squinted his eyes to make out who it was. "Gotten scared?"

"Of course not!" Naruto yelled sulkily and then cursed himself for letting his concentration slip.

"Naruto-kun! Neji-nii-san! I-is something wrong?" Hinata asked anxiously, at once rushing to the blonde boy and her cousin, reaching them even before Sasuke and Suigetsu did.

"I need to gather Sen-Chakra to go into Sage-Mode." He hasn't had the chance to do so before fighting Sasuke. If he had, then things might have turned out differently… Maybe then they would have gotten here sooner. Half an hour would have been enough… And maybe the general outcome would have been different… "The others are already fighting. You need to buy me some time."

"What about him?" Suigetsu pointed at Neji who was merely standing next to the Uzumaki.

"I'm supposed to look after him and warn him, in case the enemy gets here before he's ready." Neji said in a nearly neutral voice, however his face was anything but neutral. He wasn't able to suppress the anger he harboured towards the two nuke-nin. Unlike just about everyone else, he hadn't forgiven them for what they had done. And he sure wouldn't forgive Sasuke for what he had done to Sayuri. Just because they were having a baby, didn't mean that all his actions were meaningless. He had no idea what has gotten into the others to even consider that.

It was just like he had thought: once again the Uchiha would get away with something that would have gotten others long executed and he hated him for that.

"There is five of them. They'll need your help, so hurry!" Naruto urged them and met Sasuke's unfazed black eyes with his troubled blue ones, but he wouldn't move.

"Sasuke?" He wailed, trying to ignore the queasy feeling that was spreading in the pit of his stomach.

"This isn't my fight." Sasuke said simply, never taking his eyes off the blonde, whose face was now taken in by a look of horror.

"O-of course it is!" He said with utter conviction. "You're a part of Konoha! We all are and so we need to defend it!"

"It isn't so long ago that I wanted to destroy this village with my own hands." Sasuke's confession was followed by a profound silence, everyone shocked by what they just heard. "I have more important things to worry about than the welfare of the village."

"Tze – still the selfish bastard." Neji hissed angrily, while Naruto was too shocked or maybe just too deeply disappointed to say anything.

So it wasn't over after all? How could Sasuke do that to them? How could he abandon them like that? He knew that he was worried about Sayuri, but to think that he didn't give the slightest damn about Konoha – his home – and all the people living in it…

"J-just what are you saying?" The blonde stammered, by now having lost all the Sen-chakra he had gathered up to now.

They needed Sasuke. He was one of the strongest shinobi he knew and this was Akatsuki – they'd need every help they could get, so why was he acting this way?

"It is as it is, Naruto." Sasuke shrugged. "I don't care about Konoha or the likes of you. I'm only here for her. And now I'll have to find Tsunade." He said coldly and turned around, slowly walking out on his former team-mates.

"That was cruel." Suigetsu murmured under his breath, once they were a few metres away from them.

"Hn." The Uchiha nodded indifferently. "One day he'll thank me for it."

He – _they all_ – had already suffered enough because of him. He'd rather be hated than have them grieve for him. Regardless of how this situation turned out, he would leave Konoha and he knew Naruto and he knew that he wouldn't accept that. But if he could make him hate him, the way Sasuke deserved to be hated anyway, then the goodbye would be easier for him. Then maybe he wouldn't even try to hold him back and he sure wouldn't blame himself and spend the rest of his life chasing him. And with how things were at the moment, he wouldn't have much of a trouble with escaping Konoha; people would be too busy to look after any criminals…

Repudiating his home and all the people living in it, might only be a small gesture, but it was all Sasuke could do for his friend.

"Wait!" Naruto called him back and although he didn't like it, Sasuke did come to a stop and looked over his shoulder at the angry faces he had left behind. "I don't believe you." His voice came out in a guttural growl and you could see that he fought to maintain his composure.

"Save your breath, Naruto." Neji snarled. "It's not in their interest to save Konoha, because they know they'll be locked away."

"I don't believe you." Naruto repeated, completely ignoring the Hyuga. "But even if you _are_ serious about all this, you still need us. Sayuri needs medical aid – she's in a coma damn it! She'll have to stay in hospital, but if Konoha is destroyed…"

From where he was, Naruto hadn't seen just how it really looked within the Leaf Village and only having heard it was destroyed, hasn't convinced him yet that it was really all gone.

"If you don't do it for us, then do it for _her_! I know that you care about her, so—just _do_ it! They need you there!"

"…" Sasuke looked down indecisively, letting Naruto's words run through his mind again.

"And Sayuri would have wanted you to go, too!" He added, now that he was sure he had stirred something in him. "_She_ cared about her home!"

"Pfft… whatever…" Sasuke snorted, knowing that Naruto was right. "But I'll get her to Tsunade first."

"There's no time!" Naruto screeched impatiently, choosing the very wrong way to approach things, which he could easily tell from the glare, flitting across Sasuke's face. He shouldn't have said that. He had only just gotten through to him and now he might have lost him again.

"I'll bring her." Neji proposed, fully aware of the necessity of Sasuke's and Suigetsu's joining the fight. There wasn't much he could do in his condition, which was totally tantalising him, but he knew that the two of them could, if only they wanted, and whether he liked them or not, and it was a _not_, didn't make a difference to that. And although he didn't want to do them – do Sasuke – a favour, this was for the sake of the village and Sayuri's sake, so this wasn't the time for false pride.

"…" Sasuke observed the Hyuga through narrowed eyes, especially the bump in his shirt under which his broken arm was hidden – the arm Sasuke had broken himself. "Why?" He asked, having some doubts about the motives behind Neji's offer.

"Don't think I'm doing this for you – I do this for _her_." Neji clarified in a harsh voice and slowly walked towards the dark-haired man. "And I'll find Tsunade much faster than you will."

"Hn." Sasuke nodded. He could say what he wanted about the Hyuga, but he definitely cared about Sayuri and he was sure she'd be safe with him and then with his Byakugan, he definitely would find Tsunade faster than him and wouldn't have to stray through a village that was one huge, dangerous battlefield…

Neji bent his arm, the only one he had, in order to carry her, and Sasuke carefully (and a little reluctantly) passed the unconscious girl to him, wrapping both her limp arms around Neji's neck, while the Hyuga put his arm around her back and under her knees, holding her tightly to his chest, so she wouldn't fall and he wouldn't hurt her further, although this way it was his own arm that hurt, but he'd have to live with that.

Sasuke couldn't stand to see her there in his arms. Her arms and legs seemed like jelly and were moved by the slightest motion of the Hyuga and her head hung like a wilted flower on its stalk, nodding to and fro, as though moved by a breeze, when in reality the air was perfectly calm, oppressively so. And then with these heavy cloaks wrapped around her body, she looked even smaller than she was and he wondered how something this frail could possibly withstand the extent of the injuries she had sustained.

He didn't want to imagine that maybe she couldn't…

"If something happens to her…" Sasuke hissed in a menacing tone, but Neji didn't seem too impressed.

"… then you know you killed her." The Hyuga finished his sentence and caused the Uchiha to growl lowly, not angry because of the fact that the loathed Hyuga talked to him like that, but because of knowing he was right.

His anger deflated and he nodded mutely, which surprised Neji quite a bit, and he wondered if he feigned regret or understanding now to attack him from behind, once he started leaving.

"Please look after Naruto, Hinata-sama." Neji instructed his cousin, who merely nodded, and then he walked into the village, his Byakugan activated, although he didn't like it, because it made him see so much more than he wanted to see right now.

It might have been more rational to let Hinata take her to Tsunade. After all she had Shino to look after, too and with Akamaru she could probably transport them both, but Neji just couldn't bear the thought of sending his inexperienced cousin into this war-zone. Unlike Naruto he knew exactly what was going on within Konoha and he'd rather spare Hinata that sight. With her Byakugan she had seen too much already, there was no need for her to see it in multi-coloured detail. He knew that Hinata had become much stronger, but he wasn't sure if she was strong enough to cope with this…

"Shall we go then?" Suigetsu asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded absent-mindedly and turned around to leave, when Naruto held him back.

"And Sasuke-" He called out, having sat down in a meditative position again. "-once this is over I expect a detailed explanation from you."

"Tze." The Uchiha rolled his eyes, before he walked through the gates, on the road leading into chaos.

…

…

It took them a little more time than it would have usually done to make their way into the village. Everything that ever used to stand within the village had been shoved to its outskirts and so there was only a huge crater in the middle that was framed by debris, trash and what once used to be healthy trees or somebody's homes.

Suigetsu and Sasuke encountered only very little people on their way into the centre and those mainly went the other way or tried to dig through the wreckage in search for buried people. He would have expected to see people start up at the sight of them and treat them as their enemies, but it was the contrary.

The villagers were even glad to see them and accompanied them a piece of the way, while informing them of everything that happened so far, but there was just one useful thing among their updates and that was, that it had been six Akatsuki, but they had managed to take one of them out. Just _one_. And now they acted like they actually expected the two of them to take care of the remaining five.

After some time it dawned on Sasuke that they really didn't know the reason for his absence and that they apparently haven't even been suspicious, because of the month which he had been gone. Now that they no longer wore the cloaks, there was no visible sign of their betrayal left – it was just like they had never been gone. But he couldn't forget about it, and it felt weird to be here again – in spite of the fact that he barely recognised this place as Konoha anymore, he still felt like he shouldn't be here, like he had long forfeited the right to call himself a citizen of the Leaf Village and he was sure there were enough people who were of the same opinion.

He couldn't get around asking himself what happened to the elders… Had they perished in the explosion or had they escaped it unharmed? He was sure it was the latter – people in their position usually had their personal guards to look after them and they were long gone at some safe place already, while their village went down the drain. He just hoped Tsunade hadn't followed their example…

"Found them." Suigetsu smirked, once they had finally reached the edge of the crater and it's not like they were hard to spot. After all there was nothing else there. And suddenly it struck Sasuke that his home wasn't there anymore either. The whole Uchiha compound, the place where his parents, his grandparents, his great grandparents and so on had lived; the place they had built up with their own hands and where he had spent most of his life, the good and later also the bad part of his childhood, was gone. Actually he had left it behind before and had planned to leave it again and that forever, but still the realization that it wasn't even there, that his home no longer existed, stunned him for a second.

But only a second. He recovered from the shock, before anyone even had the chance to see him falter and now his cold black eyes were focused on what was in front of him.

He could easily spot the five Akatsuki, not only because of their cloaks, but also their bright orange hair and apart from the people who had been with them, there were also those two guys, who always wore green spandex jumpsuits and talked about youth here, youth there… and then the chubby one and Iruka who has been his teacher at the academy.

Such a huge village and only that little people who bothered to defend it.

And they clearly didn't seem up to the situation, but then that didn't really come as a surprise, if you kept in mind what these men had done to the village. Or one of them had – the _flying_ one. But they all looked so similar with their hair, which had a perfectly identical shade and he could also see that they all had the same eyes – violet with some sort of ripple pattern in them and then there were the piercings that seemed to adorn their every body part… And what he also noticed was that only one of them had apparently been wounded, whereas the others didn't even have any dirt on their cloaks, in spite of the dust that had been whirled around here because of the explosion.

And then there were the summons. Two of them, a giant centipede and an equally huge ox, but at least that one seemed immobilised. There were black strings running over it, through it, keeping it down on the ground.

On second sight he recognised them as Shikamaru's shadows, so he trailed them to their source and really did find the Nara then, sitting on the ground right next to his father, who, judging from his hand seal, performed the same technique. The other one of Shikamaru's original team, the big one, took care of the centipede, using his own body to roll it into the ground, or at least he tried to, but he was kind of slow when it came to navigating…

It didn't look like the others had set on fighting one specific opponent, but fought against who was closest and actually you couldn't say they were fighting so much, as they were defending and saving their hides or that of their comrades. It was really touching how they looked after each other, but this fight would never end, if they didn't get past defending. But then they weren't stupid, they knew that themselves, they were most likely just pushed into a corner from where they couldn't do anything. As he already observed they were clearly inferior in spite of having Kakashi and Yamato there, whom he knew to be very powerful. This would be quite a pain, but then by helping them out here, he could recompense them for helping Sayuri; he hated being indebted to anyone…

"Doesn't look good for your swords." Sasuke remarked dryly and switched his eyes to the side, as he heard Suigetsu snicker.

"Can't be helped…" The Houzuki murmured. "They seem really strong, huh? Who'd have thought Madara had people like that up his sleeve…"

"Hn." Sasuke nodded grimly, the memory of Madara and all the games he had played, the way he had manipulated him, causing something in his stomach to stir – by now it had happened often enough for him to recognise it as anger right away. Maybe he hadn't lost as much during his brief encounter with death as he had thought… but then _death_ hasn't been the decisive event that altered, almost erased parts of his personality this way, but rather the fact that for the first time in his life, he had lowered his guard – without exception – in front of himself, because he hadn't though he would survive seeing what he had then seen.

Well… wrong and now he'd have to find a way to deal with it. Therefore this fight was a distraction, from having to deal with himself, he gratefully seized.

"Let's see if we can buy Naruto some time then." Sasuke said and activated his Sharingan.

"Do you really want to wait for Naruto to come up here?" Suigetsu frowned at his team-mate, doubting that there'd be much the Uzumaki could do and then his whole buy-me-some-time-while-I-prepare-my-super-great-new-jutsu talk was kind of exaggerated as well… That boy sure did think himself more important than he actually was, but well… if he wanted to wait, he'd have to take into account that there might be no opponents left, once he finally made his big entrance. Suigetsu sure wouldn't leave it at merely putting them off…

Instead of answering, Sasuke leaped into the crater, landing right in front of Iruka, who was in that moment under direct attack by one of the Akatsuki, who had very long, open hair and had apparently specialised on Taijutsu. The moment before his foot could have hit the Umino, Sasuke blocked his leg, by slamming the hilt of his katana against his ankle, leading his foot upwards this way, before he quickly snapped his other hand, which was engulfed by a bluish light, to the front, aiming for the hollow of his knee, but then he felt something approach him. He only managed to jump back in time as a couple of segmented missiles flew towards him and exploded the second they hit the ground, but the explosions were too small to reach either him or Iruka.

"Sasuke-kun!" The Umino gasped, looking earnestly happy about seeing his former student here, but then he only just saved his life, so that wasn't really surprising. "Thank you."

"Hn." The Uchiha nodded merely, before he let his eyes wander across the battlefield, at once noting the position of all the other Akatsuki and relating them to the abilities he had seen them use so far, which wasn't exactly much yet.

"Those eyes…" He perceived a deep, unfamiliar voice and at once traced it to its speaker, the one with fairly short, spiky hair, who hasn't yet let anything show of what he was capable of. It even seemed like he was being protected by the other ones. At least he guessed so from the way they were moving around him like scattered planets orbiting the sun.

"The Sharingan. You must be Itachi's little brother, Uchiha Sasuke." The Akatsuki said with a blank face, whereas the mentioning of Itachi's name caused Sasuke's face to use that very trait in an instant. He's never been able to keep his emotions in check when the talk came to Itachi, especially not after knowing what he now knew about him, but he tried. "You've been a controversial subject for Akatsuki. Now we meet in person."

"I can't say the same about you." Sasuke said in a blank voice, although it cost him quite an effort to keep it this way. "I don't have any idea who you are."

"I am Pain." He explained simply and yet he added such a solemn tone to his apparent name that it left you wondering how well his name reflected on his person or maybe on what he could do to others. "I am the God who will restore order and peace in this world."

"Tze. That's what I call superiority complex." Suigetsu sneered, always right at Sasuke's side. The way the other Akatsuki had now interrupted their fights and gathered around the one Sasuke was talking to. That meant he had to be their leader of some sort.

"_Peace_?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "It's new to me that any of Akatsuki's aims include peace."

"Akatsuki has many aims. Those of the organisation and those of its members. You should have realized that by now."

"…Yes…" The Uchiha closed his eyes and nodded thoughtfully, thinking back of Itachi, who apparently only joined Akatsuki to keep them under surveillance in order to keep him safe; thinking of himself who joined them, because he needed their power in order to have a chance to destroy Konoha. An organisation as powerful as Akatsuki was bound to be exploited by its very own members for their personal gains, but then that is exactly what kept it together.

"Then tell me. Where is Uzumaki Naruto?" The Akatsuki asked, his words suggesting that they had reached some sort of understanding, when Sasuke couldn't recall that having been the case.

"You'll see him soon enough… and then you'll wish you hadn't…" He smirked smugly, his red eyes filling with vicious amusement and something close to… _pride_?

Unlike Suigetsu he was sure that the Uzumaki had something special up his sleeve. He knew Naruto long enough – he knew that he was an impatient, impulsive idiot with peas for brains, but he also knew that he was brave and wouldn't hesitate a single second to risk his life in order to save others – whether he knew them or not. That is why the fact that he was sitting there outside the gates and prepared for an attack, when his home was in jeopardy, struck Sasuke as rather uncanny for him. Therefore he was certain that he must have found a jutsu that was powerful enough to justify his sitting there, when all he wanted was probably to rush right here and throw himself into a fight.

Naruto sure had grown… And when only a few years ago, Naruto's growth would have made Sasuke jealous to the point of resenting him for his achievements, would have made him doubts his own growth, his own abilities, now it only caused a smirk to tug at the corners of his mouth.

Naruto needed time? – He'd get it for him.

"Is this all you have to say?"

"It's all there is to be said." Sasuke shrugged, fighting the urge to sigh because he knew where this would lead to. Yet another fight that would tear his body to shreds. This guy might or might not be as strong as Madara – actually he was sure he wasn't – but unlike Madara he wasn't alone, but then neither was Sasuke… Still he didn't plan to use his Mangekyou Sharingan in this fight – strong as it was, he wasn't willing to bear the consequences of its usage, for a fight that only concerned him in that a friend had asked him to fight it.

He still couldn't believe he actually did this – not with Sayuri dying and his own condition still weakened from the previous fight, but as it seemed a tiny speck of loyalty had survived in him.

_This one's for you, Loser._

"Then prepare to stand up for your words."

The moment his voice died out, the two Akatsuki beside the apparent leader, again the one with the long hair and the only one without any hair and whose head had a weird shape, which made him look less like a human than an android, ran forward, straight towards him.

Suigetsu at once brought his sword in position, intending to block them head on, while Sasuke reached for his own sword as well, but mainly to have something in his hand, while he scanned his opponents' movements, not only those of the two that were attacking them, but also of those, who had stayed behind.

As they had almost reached them, the head of the apparently even less human one than Sasuke would have given him credit for, spun around, revealing another face, or actually the face stayed the same, it was the expression that was different; no longer a grimace but a smile and he pulled off his cloak, uncovering four more arms and some sort of tail-like sword that was fastened like a belt around his waist.

Suigetsu gasped, a little taken aback by the sight, although neither in a positive nor a negative way and he didn't hesitate a second to lift his heavy sword to parry this unusual weapon, before it could harm either him or Sasuke, although he wouldn't have been in danger of being harmed by it, which might explain his reckless way of approaching.

"_Katon: Gôkakyû no Jutsu_!"

Sasuke spat a huge ball of flames at the remaining one, but thanks to his Sharingan he could make out how in the second his attack would have reached his aim, another one jumped into the way, but then the flames blocked his sight, however not for long… They seemed to just puff out and in that very moment, he heard Suigetsu scream and saw in his periphery vision how the Houzuki was hauled away, or rather his sword was and he just kept hanging on it. Then the flames were entirely gone and before Sasuke knew what happened a hand shot forward, grasping his throat.

"Ugh." He bit his teeth together tightly and tried to will his airways to not close under the pressure.

So he'd have to use his Mangekyou after all, but something wasn't right. He could feel his chakra wane, could feel how his body became weaker and his limbs started tingling numbly, so he forced his deep red eyes further open, seeing some sort of sphere around the Akatsuki – he was draining his chakra!

Sasuke was barely able to keep his normal Sharingan activated, he wouldn't be able to use his Mangekyou, but before he even had time to come up with a plan B, a wooden wall shot out of the ground, clamping around the Akatsuki's arm and pulling him into the air as it rose, like he was caught in a pillory.

Sasuke was free. He leaped back at once, his hand wrapped around his sore throat, but as his feet only reached the ground again, the Taijutsu-using one was already in front of him, his fist raised menacingly in the air and he wouldn't have needed his Sharingan to see just where it was about to land.

Then there was a crackling and in that moment Kakashi burst out of the ground, his lightning cutter going right into the belly of the Akatsuki.

They saved him, first Yamato and then Kakashi, but then, as he already observed before, Konoha-nin did look after each other.

"You need to be careful." Kakashi said, once his feet, closely followed by the heavy body of the Akatsuki, reached the ground, but his actually well meant advice only appeared patronising to Sasuke and you could tell so from the way he narrowed his eyes.

He knew well enough that he had to be careful during a fight, it's not like carelessness has ever posed a problem to him and so Kakashi's words were rather offending, since they spoke of an underestimation of his skills and he had proven often enough this day that he sure was no one to be underestimated.

"They have a shared field of vision – what one of them sees can be seen by all others as well." Kakashi carried on, having noticed the slight change in Sasuke's expression and he knew him well enough to know what had caused it. If there was one thing the Uchiha couldn't stand, then it was being told what he had to do or being worried over – anything that implied weakness on his part.

"Figured as much." He snapped tersely, narrowing his eyes, as he noticed someone approaching him from behind, the other one of those who have just saved his life, which was probably the only reason why he didn't simply walk out on them.

"The one who attacked you is able to absorb nin-jutsu, even if they are not directly aimed at him. The one with the weapons is their main offence and the woman has only shown to use summons to attack." Yamato brought him up to date, before Kakashi took over again.

"The one you talked to is the only one who didn't do anything yet." Kakashi said in a low voice, keeping his eyes directed to where the one who called himself Pain was standing, although Yamato's wooden wall blocked his sight. "But from how he behaves he is probably the most dangerous of them all."

This wasn't much of a surprise either. It were usually the strongest who were at the top of a hierarchy – especially when it came to criminals – and the fact that he not even bothered to fight, only showed how certain he was of his own abilities and that he didn't feel the need to prove himself. He was most definitely dangerous. He even called himself _God_…

There was a screech coming from behind them, so they quickly turned their heads around, seeing that Choji was having quite some trouble with the centipede, but at least he was keeping it busy, but instead of helping him out, they thought it better to take care of its summoner. Then there was a noisy crashing and they at once turned towards the source of it, seeing that the one with the weapons had just smashed the wall, which had kept the other Akatsuki trapped.

So it was again four of them…

The three shinobi nodded at each other and rushed to the front, when in that moment the Akatsuki, Kakashi had only just killed, shot to his feet, his clenched fist flying towards the Jounin. The Hatake hadn't expected to be attacked by a dead man and so he was immobilised for a second. A fatal second. Or that's what it would have been, when Sasuke hadn't kicked against his hip at that moment, getting him out of the way in a not exactly gentle way. Simultaneously he had swung his katana around, but the Akatsuki ducked down, avoiding his second death.

"_Chidori Nagashi_."

Sasuke channelled his lightning elemental chakra through his whole body and there was no way for the Akatsuki to dodge that one, he could easily tell by the way his body stiffened because of the electricity and now the Uchiha moved his equally Chidori enhanced katana back and cut his torso in halves. Even if he should have survived that one, he would be useless now.

"Well done." Kakashi praised him, as he struggled to his feet again and nodded at his student appreciatively, but Sasuke couldn't find it in him to return that little gesture, since he didn't quite comprehend his gratitude. All he had done was clear his debts, so once he'd leave, there'd be nothing left to bind him to this place or the people here.

They didn't have much time for exchanging niceties anyway, as the one who had just destroyed the wall, fired a good load of explosive devices at them. They all scattered as to not present an easy target, but as it seemed he could fire them into several directions simultaneously.

"_Konoha Senpû_"

Lee and Gai attacked him from the right and the left respectively, but their kicks were each intercepted by two of the now 'only' five arms the Akatsuki possessed. Suigetsu had been able to deprive him of one of them. And now the Akatsuki hurled his arms down, banging the two Leaf-ninja on the ground, before he brought his arms up again quickly, so they crashed against each other right above his head.

Even from here Sasuke could tell that Gai seemed to have the harder head of the two of them and his student had to pay the price for that.

That had settled the score. They had killed one of the Akatsuki and now they had killed one of them. Although he had some reasonable doubts that the deaths were this equally distributed. A look at the village said more than thousand words.

Then his Sharingan perceived some movement beside him, but powerful and keen as his eyes were, they didn't prepare him for the foot that caught him in his ribs and he could feel them gave way in a way they shouldn't. The kick left him breathless and his attempts at changing that, sent a painful stinging through his whole left side, which became even worse as he threw himself to the ground and rolled around to get away from his attacker. And once he was on his back again, he already spat a volley of tiny flames at the Akatsuki, but they all just vanished, as they only got close to him.

Damn. The chakra-absorbing one again. The worst possible opponent for him. He couldn't use his Nin-jutsu and when their eyes were linked, Gen-jutsu wouldn't help him either, so there was only Tai-jutsu left, but his broken rib(s) would make that hard – hard but not impossible. He had only just survived a fight against Uchiha Madara, so one of his remaining pawns shouldn't be much of a problem for him.

_In theory_.

The Uchiha leaped to his feet, feeling his mouth fill with blood, because of the sudden motion – with his luck today, a part of his rib must have broken off and punctured his organs now, but hard as it might be, he decided to pay no attention to it, although he couldn't help but wonder, if it was his own or Karin's blood he was tasting.

Not that it mattered…

He reached for his katana, knowing better than to charge it with his chakra, and swung it around, but it only cut through the air. At least the Akatsuki had moved back a little, and he was definitely out of reach of his arms, so he couldn't drain him off his chakra again. With his free hand, the Uchiha reached for some shuriken, realizing he had only three left, but he hurled them at his enemy nevertheless. Thanks to Orochimaru he had trained both his hands equally, so he could attack with the left and the right one without losing precision.

Even so they didn't hit the mark. However not because he missed, but because the bald one had interfered, by using the tail-like blade fastened to his waist in order to block his Shuriken.

Great. Now there were two opponents, he could only oppose with Tai-jutsu, at least if Yamato was right and the first one could also suck chakra towards him from a distance. Well, he sure wouldn't waste any chakra to find out; he'd just take Yamato at his word.

In that moment numerous thick roots shot out of the ground, wrapping around the two Akatsuki instantaneously. They tried to escape or to cut through them, and while the machine-like one was fairly successful about it, the smaller one didn't have a chance.

It was a matter of seconds for him to be completely surrounded by the thick roots which had wrapped around him and each other as if to resemble the trunk of a tree and once nothing but the Akatsuki's pierced face was visible, they retreated back into the ground, taking their victim with them.

"Phew." The ANBU sighed, as he lowered his hands, once he had finished his attack and you could clearly see the exhaustion in his features. However the Akatsuki wouldn't grant him a second to breathe through. The one who had escaped being pulled into the ground, shot one of his forearms towards him, but it was repelled by a wooden dome, clamping around Yamato like an oyster.

A second later there wasn't much left of it.

It hasn't 'only' been a forearm, but yet another explosive device, much stronger than all the previous ones and so Yamato's shield hadn't saved him from damage, but at least he was still alive.

"Tenzô!" Kakashi barked, as he saw how the Akatsuki approached the barely conscious ANBU, but that one wouldn't look up or get away, probably unaware of the danger he was in, so Kakashi ran ahead, gathering his lightning chakra in his right hand, before he shaped it like a dog, which then reached the Akatsuki before him.

The Akatsuki used his tail to push himself into the air, again firing explosive missiles into all directions, but the lightning hound leaped up as well, catching off some of the explosives, which were hence set off by the electricity and detonated still in the air, so the Akatsuki got a good share of his own attack.

Sasuke followed his example and used another katon jutsu to ignite the remaining missiles, before they were close enough to anyone to cause any harm.

And he really was successful about that, but he still didn't get away unharmed, because right then, the ground under his feet broke apart and the Akatsuki, who had only just been buried, shot out of it, striking him square in the jaw.

He collapsed to the ground, coughing up yet more blood and from the feel of it also bone particles that must have come off his jaw, although he very well knew that that was rather unlikely. At least it felt like it was broken, but he didn't have the time to check for it.

Once again the Uchiha was seized by his neck and lifted into the air, while his chakra slowly left his body, until he felt so numb that he was barely aware of his injuries any longer.

Then he saw a grey flash and he was on the ground again and only in retrospect, did he realize that Kakashi had kicked against the Akatsuki's arm, forcing him to let go of him.

He had saved him again.

Sasuke was left coughing, as Kakashi delivered yet another kick to the Akatsuki, knowing fully well that Taijutsu was all he could do about him, and now, regardless of the pain and that numbish feeling, Sasuke rose to his feet and helped him, and he didn't know, if it was because they both possessed the Sharingan or because they knew each other for such a long time, but their attacks were perfectly matched. They didn't get into each others way and managed to cover each other's back, while simultaneously using every opening for an attack.

Kakashi stood about three metres away from Sasuke, who was at the moment involved in a duel with the Akatsuki, but as he saw Kakashi prepare his Raikiri, he hailed a sequence of kicks into his opponent's stomach region, the force pushing him straight towards the Hatake, who held his arm in a way, as to pierce through him.

However then another thing happened.

All of a sudden Kakashi was pulled backwards, without any apparent reason. His feet weren't even touching the ground anymore; it was like he was a piece of metal attracted by a really strong magnet. It took Sasuke only a second to see what or rather _whom_ he was attracted to and that was their leader – _God_ – and he had a long metallic rod at the ready, which Sasuke only noticed as it stuck out of his sensei's torso.

His eyes widened slightly, focused on Kakashi's, which were widened all the same, widened and blank, and he saw him cough up a bit of blood, before his body seemed to collapse into itself, like all strength had left him.

Sasuke knew at once he was dead.

So their leader had decided to interfere now after all… This wasn't good, the others had given them enough trouble already and now with Kakashi gone they stood little to no chance.

Then the woman summoned yet another gigantic beast: a Rhino, which at once charged at Suigetsu and consequently also at Sasuke, since he was barely a couple of metres behind him. As it seemed they felt like extending their advantages even more to break the moral of their opponents. Like that was even necessary now.

"Shit!" Suigetsu leaped back, landing right beside Sasuke and still the Rhino kept on coming, shaking the earth with each of its steps. "What now?"

If Sasuke had known an answer, he would have shared it, but that was clearly not the case. He was still fairly shocked about Kakashi's death and hardly realized that he'd follow him, if he didn't get away from here.

He would surely have followed, along with Suigetsu and also Yamato, when three giant toads hadn't appeared right between them and the Rhino in that moment.

They were all armed and put their weapons together to form a shield, with which they caught off the force of the other summon.

"Easy now." One of them growled, before they all led their weapons upwards, throwing the other animal into the air and once it fell down, one of them already waited for it with an upheld katana which went right through it.

_Naruto_.

Sasuke could see his team-mate's orange jacket on top of one of the toads, but his chakra was all different. It didn't so much as come from within him, but rather from everywhere, from all around him. He'd never seen anything quite like this. Naruto sure had grown.

Now the leader of the present Akatsuki leaped forward, coming to a halt right in front of the giant toads, without seeming impressed whatsoever.

"Uzumaki Naruto." He said, his voice perfectly steady. "You finally decided to end this here." He moved his head around, pointing out the utter destruction that made the Leaf Village practically unrecognisable. Even though he had come through the front gate, Naruto still couldn't believe that this was really his home. That a group of people was even capable of wreaking such havoc. "Let yourself be captured."

Suddenly the machine-like one was right in front of Naruto, but before they could even make out in how far he wanted to attack the blonde, his fist crashed down on top of the Akatsuki's head, splitting his whole body in halves and revealing his robot-like interior.

One punch and the first went down.

The people around Naruto could do nothing but gasp and gape at him. Everyone knew that Naruto was strong, but this sure exceeded what they had deemed him capable of, but it's not like they weren't grateful for it.

"I'll take over now. He wants me, so all of you – stay out of this!" Naruto exclaimed, looking at his team-mates over his shoulder.

"Don't be stupid – you need us!" Suigetsu barked, not so very impressed by what Naruto had done. He's just had a better chance than them. He could have done that too, if only there had been an opening and Naruto shouldn't think that these Akatsuki were something to take lightly, only because he had been so quick about terminating one of them.

"It'll be harder to fight when I have to look out for you and the enemy, so leave this to me!" He clarified in an urgent voice, trembling with fury.

"But-!" Suigetsu started, but then broke off, as he heard Sasuke snort, his eyes closed with the tiniest smirk on his lips.

"He's all yours, dobe." Sasuke met Naruto's eyes and nodded slightly and after forcing back a surprised look, so did Naruto.

_Thank you, Sasuke_. – He mouthed the words, with a small smile of his own, before he watched Sasuke move forward, toward the enemy, which startled him for a moment, but then he knew what he wanted to do and his smile widened even, although it simultaneously gained a painful edge.

Without casting a single glance at Pain, Sasuke walked past him, straight towards the lifeless body of his sensei. He pulled the black rod out of his body and turned him around, looking down into his masked face.

He couldn't say he was particularly sad or angered about seeing his sensei dead – none of it, and yet it didn't leave him entirely cold either. But there were enough people who would mourn for him, he didn't need Sasuke in particular to do so. Still he was a good man. He has always been there for him in his very own way – to the very last second and he owed him a lot. He had died before he had a chance to clear his debts with him. Not like he would have ever expected him to…

Sasuke moved his hand over his face and slowly pushed his lids down, paying him a last tribute, before he lifted him up and deserted the crater, leaving it up to Naruto to find a way out of this mess.

…

…

It was as though Tsunade had dropped off the face of the earth.

Usually Tsunade was, aside from Naruto, one of the easiest persons to track within Konoha, because of the Genjutsu she cloaked herself in to conceal her age. Now however, Neji couldn't detract a trace of Genjutsu anywhere near and time was running out. Sayuri's chakra was alarmingly weak and her face had taken on such a weird, waxy complexion; a mixture of white, blue and grey – it sure didn't look healthy. And _red_. So much red…

It was looking so bad for her, that Neji was even monitoring her breathing. Her face was leaning against his neck and when he concentrated really hard, he could feel her breath brush his skin from time to time, but it was so shallow and slow that he sometimes feared she had stopped breathing altogether. It happened more than once that he wanted to set her down to check if she was even alive any longer, but he'd have some trouble to pick her up by himself again and then there was nothing much he could do, so he left it and kept on searching for Tsunade instead.

All the debris lying around made it hard for him to move, especially since he was wary to keep her perfectly still, because he did not know what even a brief tremor might do to her wounds. She had succumbed to them before, so how could he know she wouldn't do it again? Karin brought her back to the living, but she hasn't been able to do enough to make sure she'd stay there.

"Hold on." He whispered and looked down into her lifeless features, but he didn't get any response.

Damn it, he's been the team-leader! He's been supposed to look after his team. It has been his job to make sure they'd all be okay. Make sure that something like this didn't happen. If she'd die now, it would be just as much his fault as it was Sasuke's or Madara's. He shouldn't have allowed her to get kidnapped in the first place. He had failed her – both as her team-leader and as her friend.

He leaped across another boulder, trying to soften his landing by bending his knees and from here he could see exactly what was going on within the crater, could see them fight. Naruto wasn't with them yet, but Sasuke and Suigetsu had reached them now and they really were fighting. They didn't just stand by and watch or anything - apparently Naruto's words had gotten through to Sasuke after all. He had even just saved Iruka's life… ,

But it's not like that could undo the things he had done before. Positive actions could maybe cover up the negative ones, but they wouldn't make them vanish. You couldn't seriously think of sparing a mass murderer, only because he rescued a battalion of cats from a tree. That's not how their judicious system worked, but people tended to forget that for his sake.

"Sakura?" He caught sight of something pink, very close to him and after hearing his voice, the person stuck up her head and turned it his way. And it really was Sakura. He had actually searched for Tsunade, but he had no time to be picky – Sayuri had no time for him to be picky. She'd need whatever help she could get and it's not like Sakura was such a bad pick. She was Tsunade's apprentice after all and moreover she was regarded as her successor.

"Neji? You're all back! Thank God, we've been so worried. What happened?" She started, but then her eyes fell on the Akatsuki cloak in Neji's arms and after a few seconds she also noticed some locks of violet hair.

"W-what happened?" Her emerald eyes widened with dread and she at once rose to her feet and leaped over the trunk she had leaned against and now Neji could see that her leg was all bloody, but she only limped a little so it couldn't be this bad.

"She suffered a head injury. She was already dead, but Karin brought her back…" Neji began to explain, while Sakura already approached him. "…and she's pregnant." He added like it was yet another injury she sustained and it was this one addition, which made Sakura freeze on the spot. Even the arm she had reached out in order to pull back the cloak to have a look at her face, stayed right there in the air.

She was nothing but visible heartbeat. Neji could see it at the violently throbbing vein in her temple, or her quickly pulsating carotid and her eyes were so wide that the green almost got lost among all the white.

"P-pregnant?" She finally stuttered, her eyes still staring vacantly at nothing in particular, but in a creepy sort of way. She looked like she was about to lose it.

"Hn." Neji nodded, understanding Sakura's reaction, after all he had reacted the very same way. He hadn't been able to believe it and then he had refused to believe it, he still tried, but that didn't change anything about reality. Still he couldn't help but pull Sayuri closer to him, wondering if he could really entrust her to Sakura's care.

The two of them hadn't really talked to each other for almost a year, because of Sayuri's relationship with Sasuke. The very same reason why he had also needed some distance to her, but he had barely made it longer than a month; she was too important to him to kick her out of his life. Unlike Sakura he didn't have a replacement; he had to hold on to the friends he had, because otherwise he'd be left entirely alone.

But not so Sakura… She still had Ino and Naruto and maybe it was just easier for her to make friends than it was for him. That is why she hadn't needed to forgive Sayuri for starting a relationship with the man Sakura has also been interested in and now she took it even further by being pregnant and Neji really didn't know how she'd take that… But then Sakura was a professional and by no means a monster. He was sure she wouldn't let her personal feelings get the better of her. He even doubted she really felt the way, he had only just accused her of.

"Sakura?" He asked in a louder voice, which finally brought her out of her stupor. She shook her head briefly, her short pink hair swinging to and fro and then that shocked, almost insane expression vanished from her face and she gave him a determined nod.

"Wait a second." Sakura turned around, assessing her surroundings, before she picked up a half broken door with her superhuman strength and placed it on top of a boulder. "Bring her here." She beckoned Neji forward and helped him place Sayuri on top of her provisory examination table.

"Be careful with her head." She advised him and pulled the Akatsuki cloaks from her body and stuffed them under her head for support. She placed her hand on Sayuri's forehead, letting a soft, green light engulf it, before she slowly moved it down towards her neck, searching for a heartbeat.

"They said she's in a coma." Neji informed her, he didn't know if it mattered or if Sakura hadn't already found out herself, but it was better than doing nothing. He couldn't stand that helpless feeling.

"Yes." Sakura nodded meekly, moving her hand lower to the middle of her torso. "It's probably a concussion and her heart is really weak." She left her hand right above said organ a little longer and Neji could see something about her expression alter and he could feel his own heart skip a beat as he feared the worst. It was definitely a negative change, she even bit into her lip, but as the Haruno reluctantly moved her hand down to Sayuri's stomach, Neji realized what this was about,.

The strained look from her face vanished and was replaced by a confused one and this time she didn't keep her hand still but moved it around and now Neji was nervous again after all.

"What is it?" He asked, his voice trembling slightly, which happened rarely enough.

"Uhm… It's just… are you sure she is… _p-pregnant_?" She still had some trouble with that word. She just couldn't imagine it. They were both the same age and she was becoming a mother? And then even with _Sasuke_… It seemed so…so… not right. But then maybe she had just lied about that, because she couldn't detect any sign of life within her stomach.

"…" What a question… He hadn't seen it or anything, except for that little alteration in her chakra, but that could have been anything – a baby just seemed like the most obvious solution. "…Guess so…"

"Hm…" She pulled up Sayuri's shirts to reveal her slightly rounded belly.

Okay… this more or less proved it. Unless she hadn't gained quite a bit of weight in the last weeks, then this was definitely a pregnant belly, but then why didn't she feel anything? She has treated a handful of pregnant women before, so…

It was with a queasy feeling that Sakura placed her ear on Sayuri's stomach, listening for any heartbeat, but she could barely make out Sayuri's own and much less an additional one. "I don't hear anything… There's no heartbeat."

"What? You mean…" Neji asked, hesitating to put his assumption into words, since he feared that would make it real. Why did he care about that anyway? It's not like he was keen on seeing the Uchiha-clan grow again and Sayuri was his best friend and he couldn't stand to see her together with Sasuke and now how much worse would it be if they were tied together by a baby? He was even sure that Sayuri didn't even want one – at least that's what she had always said, but what if she changed her mind? What if she really did want this baby and then she'd lose it?

"…" Sakura raised her head again and nodded, with her eyes somewhat below Neji's. Against expectation it didn't leave her cold either… "She's gotten really injured… seems like the baby didn't make it…"

She kept her greenish glowing hand on her stomach, wondering if she hadn't been too rash with her assessment after all. Depending on how far she was with her pregnancy it might just be too small still and its heart too quiet for her ears. But then she looked rather advanced already. She'd say she was at the beginning of the second trimester, which meant she has already been long pregnant as she set out on the mission. With so much stress it wasn't surprising that she lost the baby…

"…But this way I can fully concentrate on healing her… we'll have to get the baby out of her soon, but I can't do that alone… especially not here…" She looked around emphatically, her face set in a helpless grimace. "Wait!" She moved her head down again with both her hands resting on Sayuri's belly now.

"I think there was something…" She murmured, wondering if she only imagined it, since it didn't repeat itself again. "No there!" She exclaimed. There really was something. In spite of how grave the situation was, it was stunning to hear and feel that. This was a soon-to-be person. A real, living being and it deserved a chance to live and as long as there was even a tiny bit of life in it, it wasn't lost yet.

"I could… try to save the baby, but then I'd probably lose her, but when I'd concentrate on healing her, the baby will definitely die."

A _probably_ against a _definitely_ and although the choice should be easy, it wasn't. She didn't want Sayuri to die, but she couldn't bear the thought of letting an innocent baby die either. They both deserved to live… And she was a medic-nin. She had made it her profession to fight disease and death and the thought of having someone die at her hands, when there was at least a theoretical chance of survival, was terrible. The fact that she now had to decide about who was to live and who was to die, was too much for her – in spite of all the emotion training they had absolved to prepare them for a situation such as this one.

"What if you tried… to save them both?" Neji asked, already sure about the answer and he was tempted to take his question back, but it was too late for that.

"Then they'll both die."

_Almost certainly_.

"…" Neji gnashed his teeth, as he saw his fear confirmed, but then he moved his face to the side, as he saw someone pass them and so did Sakura.

"S-Sasuke-kun." She stammered, her eyes wide again and at that moment, it was probably worse about her heart then about theirs.

Once the Uchiha spotted them, he rushed towards them right away, or rather rushed towards Sayuri. He not once looked at either Neji or Sakura, but went right to the injured girl and came to a stop behind her, placing his hands on the wood on either side of her head.

"How is she?" He asked and finally moved his eyes towards Sakura and saw the suspicious sheen in them as a bad sign.

"N-not well." She shook her head, cursing herself for the tears pooling her eyes. But she couldn't bear to give him bad news. Especially nothing of this kind. She still cared too much about him to hurt him like that… "They are… _both_… doing bad… and… I can only save one of them."

"…" Sasuke's eyes widened and his hands moved off the table, only to fall limply to his sides and he even took a step back and then just stood there, doing nothing, saying nothing.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura tried to address him, but couldn't get around wondering, if he even heard her. She had never seen him like this. She was actually used to his blank face, but this was just so much more, it barely resembled the expression of a person any longer, but looked like a barely sculpted mask. "What do you want me to do?"

Now Neji lined up in the row of shocked faces as well. How could she seriously ask that?

"Sayuri's chances to survive are much higher than those of the baby." She tried to make it easier for him, to take the burden of the decision from him, but Sasuke still didn't do anything but stand there with his shocked face, staring holes into space, although his eyes seemed way too unfocused for even _that_.

"Is that all she is to you?" Neji yelled, his anger gaining the upper hand. He couldn't believe he even had to think about it. He couldn't believe Sakura actually left it to _him_ to decide if Sayuri were to live or not. He couldn't believe that Sayuri actually ended up with a man that cared so very little about her; that only saw her as a breeding mare and was ready to dispose of her, the moment she no longer served his purposes.

"You'll save _her_ of course! What is there to hesitate?" The Hyuga barked at Sakura, who couldn't help but cringe about his volume, but she still didn't know what to do.

"Please, Sasuke-kun." She urged him, her voice trembling as much as her hands did. "You know even if I _should_ manage to save the baby, without a mother it wouldn't—"

"Save her."

…

…


	43. Waking up

**43. Waking up…**

There was something wrong about the way her body felt. Intuitively she'd guess it had something to do with the fact that she couldn't feel it.

Couldn't feel _anything_.

If this were another situation that might have bothered her, unsettled her – scared her to death, but as it was, she couldn't care less.

All was so quiet and she was engulfed by perfect, comforting darkness. Comforting in its perfection. In its being whole, when nothing else seemed to be. In its reassuring consistency, when all else was immersed in chaos.

At least she guessed so from these brief episodes, in which the blackness receded and lights flickered red on the other side of her closed lids. Sometimes it were only the lights, but ever so often there were sounds as well. Most of the time independent from the light, but not necessarily so.

She perceived these sounds and the voices; at times more human, at times less. They unsettled her in that they didn't come from a fixed spot and whirled around her head instead; around that spot in the dark, these sickly thoughts emerged from.

Swirling sounds.

Stroboscopic lights.

Something so dizzyingly chaotic couldn't be a product of _non_-chaos, could it?

It took some time, but she secretly recognised the sounds, recognised where she was or where she had to be, but something she'd guess to be her self-preservation instincts, kept the awareness hidden from what little of her brain seemed be left in working order.

She didn't hold it against herself that she chose to remain in the dark about all this.

But at times, when the voices became _really_ loud and the odourless smells stirred her tired mind into something close to responsiveness – whenever that happened, she was overcome by a pale sense of fear.

It wasn't fear about being alone in the darkness. Nowhere close to that. It wasn't fear about being unable to feel her body either. It was fear of the moment she would feel it again and it struck her just then that maybe -_maybe_, it's not like she wasn't able to feel or move. Maybe she just didn't want to, because feeling and moving in particular would lead to waking up and if there was one thing she was sure about, then that was that she didn't want to wake up.

She didn't want to wake up and face whatever happened.

Waking up would make it real. It would make everything real that had led her to end up here in the darkness and she didn't want it to be real.

She didn't want to wake up, only to realize she was in a hospital of all places (that was the one discovery she was trying to keep secret from herself) and something that caused her to end up at such a place, can't have been anything good.

Maybe, just maybe, if only she tried hard enough to keep her eyes firmly shut and refuse to acknowledge anything around her, if only she concentrated hard enough, then maybe she could will herself away from here—

-will herself out of this nightmare.

With her restricted intellectual capacity, it struck her as the only solution she was willing to approach, because it was too late to prevent getting here and she could neither turn back time, nor look into the future and see if it was a place worth living. What she could and more importantly could _not_ do, left her with fewer and fewer options altogether.

Staying here seemed like the only solution of this time and place.

…

…

She missed the warm seasons.

It was cold here, always so cold.

Whenever her brain stepped in, it was cold and the darkness wasn't as perfect anymore.

Was it winter?

Was she snowed in?

It rather sounded like rain though, and that rain always brought messages to her in a secret language she once used to understand.

"_I swear I saw her blink."_

Impossible. From time to time she was mentally awake, but she was lacking the will and the strength to be physically awake. She must have gotten the words all wrong. They didn't really sound familiar either and she wondered, if she had ever been able to master something as complex as putting all her abstract and less abstract thoughts into well-structured words.

"_No visible improvement_."

Tze… Like she'd let it show.

-_Oh snap_! Maybe she understood more than she was willing to admit after all…

…

…

"_Will you tell her about it?"_

"…_No…"_

"_But you have to! She has a right to know."_

"_It would only upset her."_

"_Of course it would, but—"_

"_I don't see in how far this is any of your business."_

"_**It is**__! … … it is…"_

…

…

Spring and summer always passed too quickly.

So quick, in fact, that a moment of inattention

caused her to miss them altogether.

"_Oh my God! Please don't! Please don't take him from me! __**Please**__! That's my brother! Help him! Someone do anything! Please! __**Please**__! _PLEASE_!"_

The voices became the scariest when it was coldest

and it was that time, when no light would ever

brush across her sealed lids. Not once.

"_Someone get me out of here! I'm alive! I'm still alive! Someone save me! I'm down here! I can hear you! Why won't you help me? You bastards!"_

Thoughts had become her unit for measuring time.

Having lost track of it, track of basically _everything_,

left her with nothing but her thoughts.

"_Forgive me. If there had been anything I could __have done I would have stayed, but I couldn't. I didn't want to die. You have to understand. You have to forgive me."_

From thought to thought she was more and yet

less willing. Always more and always less.

What she heard made it hard to choose.

"_I have lived a life worth living, and if it were to end now, I shall not fight it. But please spare my family. Please, don't let there be any pain."_

People were suffering all around her, but that meant,

she was not all alone and what she heard made her

curious about life outside herself.

"_I don't know where he is, but please__, if you spare me I'll find out. I know who knows. I'll tell you. Just let me go and I'll find out for you. I swear I won't run."_

That is how the winters passed, with pleas and prayers

and blood-freezing screams and she felt herself unable

to warm her heart with memories of summer.

"_I'm so, so sorry."_

Were the simple words that sprung from her own mind,

but the result of what painful memories had brought

her here, kept them from being heard.

…

…

"_Knowing what you know now, does it make any difference?"_

"…_Knowing what I know now, gives me an idea of why you thought you had to do it… but it doesn't make a difference to the fact that I want to kick your ass for it."_

…

…

It was raining again. Raining words into her head, but they fell as gentle as snow and melted just before she might grasp their meaning. It was warmer now, than it has been in a long time and she tried hard to keep her mind awake, as to not miss a single second of this. She was all too willing to hold on to the warm seasons. Maybe the voices were carried by sunbeams instead.

But it was dark still. Always so dark, but who was she to complain?

It was her, who had chosen to be here in the first place, wasn't it?

Well actually, to be more precise, she had only chosen to stay here.

Never had she wanted to get here. Not ever would she have chosen

to be caught somewhere, where darkness and light, coldness and

warmth, never alternated. Where she was alone with the unknown

voices, finding herself in their screams, in their cries, in their pleas.

But how utterly cowardly and selfish of her, to hide from reality in

this comforting dark, when these people, these strangers or maybe

not, faced their fears, faced their memories, faced their own selves.

They did not choose the easy way. Unlike her, they did not seek refuge in the darkness. They did not hide, nor did they suffer in the darkness, but had chosen the other way. The other side of the two there were to choose. They sought refuge in the light. They hid and suffered in the light. Openly, ready to be helped. Maybe she was ready to accept help, too. _Maybe_ _soon_.

…

…

'Soon' was a rather abstract term for someone who had lost all track of time. And her own way of measuring was rather a tad _too_ conceptual to stand up in the real world, but then that was the place she shunned, wasn't it? Therefore it shouldn't matter much…

It didn't matter.

Once she was ready for this, ready to face reality, ready to face the memories that ran like a subliminal rhythm under whatever thought formed there in her head and would not allow her to tune it out altogether – whenever she was ready for any of this, then she would open her eyes and wake up.

Mentally _and_ physically.

Maybe catching a glimpse of what was happening around her, would make it easier for her to make out exactly just when that moment had come.

With how she felt it was kind of hard. It took her some time to find her body in the darkness and she first had to remember where her eyes were and recall how to use them. It seemed like an impossible task and as she was only about to give up, she could see something of an indefinable colour.

A colour she hasn't seen in such a long time that she no longer remembered just what it was. But it wasn't black. Then there was a distant hum, more like bees than like rain, but as she wanted to turn towards it, she found her body unable to move, still frozen from the coldness, she had spent the last indefinite period of time in. But she could move her eyes more or less willingly and eventually managed to move them to where the sounds were coming from.

And there they were.

Sasuke and Naruto. They were standing there together, when she was here, all alone, and they were talking or whispering to each other, but their voices wouldn't reach her. Nothing in this room could possibly drown out the whooshing of blood thrashing in her ears – the weird hum she perceived. And there was a bit of light. Only a little, but it was a soft, warm light. It seemed to come from right within them, as though they were exuding warmth. They wallowed in it, when she was here left in the darkness. Left in the cold.

Suddenly, she felt lonelier than ever before.

So she wanted to go to them. Squeeze herself into their midst and lie there, engulfed by their warmth, while she listened to their voices hushing old memories, old stories to each other. She wanted to be with them, the way they used to be together, as everything had been right still. Before life had become complicated. Before it had taken such a turn for the worse.

And she could see 18 year old Sasuke and 18 year old Naruto turn back to twelve. Turn back to being friends, the way they were, before all of this happened. Before their friendship had undergone these impossible trials and yet they were both here together. And they weren't merely friends but brothers.

They were brothers in a way that didn't need blood to prove so.

She wouldn't have thought to ever see them like this again. See them like nothing ever happened, back then as they had still fought their quarrels with immature words and not with weapons. Maybe she was just dreaming things up.

Yes- that was most likely it, but even so, or maybe _especially_ so, she'd like to carry on dreaming some more…

Now she was certain that she wasn't ready to wake up yet. _Soon_.

…

…

There was no point in fighting it anymore.

Reality was forcing itself on her in its most persistent ways. Forcing itself through all her defences without any mercy, without any regards for her aversion to face whatever happened-

-least of all the people connected to it.

The people that were by no means on friendly terms with each other, the way they had been in her dream and not the people who were crying and screaming all the time.

She wanted none of it and nevertheless she found herself being pushed into awareness by the shrillest, most nerve-wrecking and most annoying laughter she has ever heard in her whole life.

It went non-stop, sounding like a witch or a lunatic or a hyena and it repeated itself like a broken record.

"_Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…"_

It was _terrible_.

It actually managed to make her want to jump right to her feet and strangle whoever had been cursed with a speech organ that was capable of producing such awful tones.

She would have rather slept or maybe vegetated some more time, but that turned out to be impossible, with what little patience and tolerance she had, for enduring such mental torture and before she had any more time to make up her mind about what to do, she already found herself blinking, at once greeted by cold, blindingly bright halogen lights.

Her eyes fell shut again, as she needed some time to place herself. Figure out where she was, what she was doing here and in how far her previous discoveries corresponded to reality - if they've had anything to do with reality at all.

The sounds became a little clearer, but simultaneously meddled together, so it was even harder for her to make anything out, but at least the laughter vanished among the other voices as well and only remained there in the back of her mind, where it had etched itself its own little niche and would come out every time she'd be overcome by masochistic tendencies.

She hoped it would never happen.

Then, from one second to the next, she was hit by all these miserable, sterile hospital smells – those she was actually used to, from her work and yet they sickened her now, in that they apparently opened the door to the pain centre in her head, and when before only some slight, subtle threads of discomfort had sneaked through the tiny cracks in this very old and worn door, then she was now hit by its full force and she was sure that if her eyes had been open, her vision would have blackened, like a candle having been boxed out by an invisible, but far too solid fist.

Had she not slept so much already, she would have done so now. In fact with how things were, she yearned to get back to that condition, when her mind and her body had been separated and she had almost felt safe within the darkness, but there was no going back now, so instead of trying even harder to keep her eyes shut, she opened them again and stared at a bleary brown and beige mass with something grey or maybe silver on the left.

It didn't look quite right, but her head wasn't yet clear enough to figure out just why…

She wanted to turn her head then, to where she had seen her dream-Sasuke and her dream-Naruto, but all motion she was capable of was parting her lips slightly to take a deeper breath, as the pain threatened to overpower her. It was sharp and fast like lightning. It hit her in one moment and was gone again in the next, but having inhaled, left her overly aware of how stale and dry her mouth tasted.

Waking up really hasn't been a good idea, has it?

She waited a little more, trying to ignore the nausea, the smells and the tastes had brought upon her still somewhat dull head, while she took in the other impressions, mainly the sounds, until she picked out a familiar sounding voice among the current of words, washing over her overwhelmed senses and it was that voice, which made her force herself to overcome her inactivity and her restraint and at length move her eyes towards it.

And there he was now, sitting on a bed, a little more than a metre away from her own. He seemed a bit bleary, but the longer she looked at him, the clearer he became and she could see the bandages going around his head and his arms – he looked like a mummy with sapphire's for eyes and a grey T-shirt to make him look casual and divert from the fact that he was actually a living dead man.

And he was smiling.

Whenever she thought of him she saw him smiling or laughing and now he was, too, huh? After everything that happened he had still kept his smile. Good for him.

"Sayuri-chan?" Naruto asked eventually, after she must have watched him for half an hour already and actually she had hoped he wouldn't see her. As it was, the situation was already too much for her. She could barely keep up with seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling – all these things, when not so long ago she had been freed of them all, with only brief interruptions.

"You're awake!" He sat ramrod straight in his bed, his smile growing even wider and in less than a second, he had already slid out of his bed, revealing yet more bandages, covering his legs. A mummy, indeed. She wondered how he was even able to move.

"Took you long enough! Do you have any idea how worried we've been? First you just let yourself get kidnapped and you vanish without a trace. Then Sasuke tells us he killed you and then you're alive after all and nearly die then – did you ever think about what you're doing to my nerves?" The Uzumaki screeched and slowly shuffled towards her, while the smile on his face turned into an ominous grimace. "I've been waiting for days to finally do this…"

He came closer and closer still with that scary look and an even scarier spark in his eyes and she only waited for him to rub his hands and let out an evil laugh, but he didn't. Instead he literally threw himself at her and half-lifted her out of her bed and then his arms were already all around her, squeezing her like she was a half-empty toothpaste tube. And now she hung there in his arms, already seeing herself breathe her last, but she was neither strong enough to free herself out of his stranglehold, nor could she just hug him back.

"…N-Naruto-kun…?" Her voice was quiet and sounded like gravel, but she was sure he heard her still, because he loosened his grip a little and looked her square in the eyes.

"Thanks for being alive!" He grinned at her and she'd have liked to return that gesture, but she just wasn't able yet.

"W-where is…he?" She stammered weakly, fully aware of exhaustion, tugging at her lids, calling her back into the darkness, but she was determined to wait for his answer. If she'd make it was a whole different thing.

"Huh?" Naruto raised an eyebrow and watched her with a frown on his face, until it finally dawned on him and she was sure she could see his expression darken, he averted his eyes in any case. "He's gone-"

That was answer enough, all she was able to listen to, although this wasn't what she had wanted to hear.

Most definitely not.

…

…

Another kind of light led her out of the hidden land of sleep, so hidden in fact, that not even dreams made it there, but somehow she had. She had been there, but now she had found her way back out and once her eyes opened they were fastened on an unknown ceiling. _Again_. Maybe not so very unknown after all, but the light made a lot of difference.

When the last time it had been doused in the cold glow of halogen lamps, now the whole room was flooded with daylight; bright and warm daylight, and she had to squint her eyes against the dazzling sun. Almost unconsciously her face turned towards the window, the way flowers turn towards the sun to soak up its warm rays. And there, outlined against the orange gleaming windowpane, she saw a dark silhouette, shadowed beyond recognition.

She wanted to address him, ask him who he was and what he was doing here, what _she_ was doing here, but she couldn't find her voice yet and so she left it at seeking her own answers to these questions.

This was doubtlessly a hospital, but it didn't really look familiar. This room barely looked like it belonged to Konoha-Gakure's hospital and she had worked in it for about five years after all, so she should have recognised it, but why didn't she?

The colours looked all wrong. The walls were brown and the floor was green. And the lamps had a wrong shape as well, same as the windows. The lamps were square when they should be round, and the windows were round when they should be square. And there weren't any curtains. In Konoha's hospital all windows had curtains, regardless of which room, to make them look more homey and help you forget about the fact that you were really anywhere but at a homey place.

This room however didn't even bother to keep up any pretences. It was bleak and sterile and impersonal and there were so many shadows everywhere, so many that she couldn't even identify the people. Okay, it was just one person, but she felt like she had to recognise him, but simply didn't and that truly bothered her.

Was it Naruto?

She knew he was here, too, but it seemed hardly like him to just stand there so calmly and look out of the window. He wasn't of the contemplative kind. Just to be on the safe side, she turned her head around, to where she had seen Naruto before, and there he was sitting. Looking exactly the same way as before and she wondered if maybe no time had elapsed since then. Soon enough she spotted a difference though. There was someone with him, someone she did not know and they were talking to each other.

A medic, definitely a medic, but none she knew and the clothes were different as well. Just where was she?

"Sayuri-chan!" Naruto exclaimed with a wide grin on his face. "Hah! –-_See_? I told you she woke up already." He got ready to get out of bed, but was held back by the medic-nin.

"You stay where you are! In your condition you shouldn't even be sitting." She groused and gave him a strict look, stapling him to his bed, before she nodded emphatically and walked towards Sayuri. Without saying anything, she pulled Sayuri's eyes farther open and used a small flashlight to check her pupil reaction.

"You really _are_ awake." The woman said, as though seeing that she had her eyes open hasn't been enough to convince her of just that.

"Don't say…" Naruto rolled his eyes. He had told them at least a dozen times, but no one believed him, for whatever reason, like he'd seriously make something like that up. "You're not gonna pass out on me again, are you?"

"…" Sayuri tried to shrug, but since she was lying it didn't really come across that well, or maybe it didn't come across at all, judging from the expectant look on Naruto's face, he probably hasn't seen it.

"Don't overwhelm her. She just woke from a coma. It'll take some time until she is well enough to talk, so don't push her." The medic said and reached for a glass of water, which she just held in front of Sayuri's face, like she meant to tease her, by withholding the very thing from her, she wanted more than anything. Before she had seen it, she hadn't even been aware just how excruciatingly thirsty she was. Well, now she knew and it felt like she was withering from the inside out.

"I talked to her already…" The Uzumaki mumbled in a defiant tone, while the medic only gave him an impatient look, before she at long last set the glass to Sayuri's lips. It was the very best water she has ever tasted in her whole life, but then that's what she always thought, when she hasn't drunken anything in an indefinable period of time.

"Hey, how long are you just gonna stand there? Don't you want to say something, too?" The blonde asked, once the medic-nin had left them again in order to fetch another doctor, but this time Naruto's eyes weren't focused on Sayuri, but someone behind her, the person she had seen there at the window.

Instigated by curiosity, she brought up the inappropriately huge amount of effort, to turn her head around and focus her heavy-lidded eyes on the person in front of the window, but with the light shining from behind him, he was still nothing but a black silhouette, a three-dimensional shadow that was this time facing her way though.

She wondered how she had seriously failed to recognise him before. It was so obvious, the height, the figure, the hair, the posture, his silence- _yes_, she knew his silence better than anything else…

She had asked Naruto before where he was, but he had said he was gone. His choice of words had sounded so final and had at once made her come up with all sorts of negative interpretations of what little she had been able to listen to, before passing out again. She knew that _to be gone_, was an euphemistic way of saying someone was dead and even if he hadn't meant death, she had at least thought he had run away again; had left all of them behind one more time, but here he was now, alive and well and still she could not be sure how to feel about that – how to feel about him.

All too vivid was the memory of him standing there and watching as Madara took her hostage. She could still see that look on his face, could still feel the pain about his betrayal, the pain about seeing his eyes so cold and indifferent, when she was in danger. How could he have done that to her?

Sasuke's eyes were hidden by shadows and yet she could clearly tell that they were focused on her, sizing her up, the way she sized him up. What should she do now? How should she talk to him? Should she even talk to him? Why should she do anything anyway? After what happened, making the first step was about the least he could do, wasn't it? She had every damn reason to be mad at him. After all the things he's done – all the things he hasn't done, like listening to her for example, it was her good right to act (and feel) offended, until he came crawling back to her and beg for forgiveness.

Oh well, she'd probably turn grey before that happened and then she didn't so much feel angry or resentful or bitter, as she felt relieved. She's never had it in her to be mad at him for a longer period of time and right now it merely took a heavy load off her mind to see that he was not _gone_ – whatever that had meant in the first place…

And hasn't he shown to be regretful? Had he not even apologised to her in his own, implicit way? Had she not already forgiven him even?

The memories of all that were rather hazy. She remembered seeing him there, she remembered talking to him, she remembered feeling terribly sorry, she remembered how he held her hand as she…_died_?

She died. She had been sure she would die and yet she was here, clearly alive, just like him and Naruto. They were all alive and instead of rejoicing, they only stared at each other, frozen, and didn't do a thing. There was so much she wanted to say to him, so much she wanted to ask him and most of all she wanted to be held by him, to just be there in his arms, so she could fathom he was real and act like nothing ever happened, but she didn't even know where to start.

"Are you two serious?" Naruto moaned incredulously and switched his deep blue eyes from one of his team-mates to the other, not understanding, how they could just stand there and stare. "Sayuri-chan, I know exactly that you _can_ speak and Sasuke, you've been waiting here for days for her to finally wake up and now she did. How about saying hello, asking her how she is, apologising for what a jerk you've been – do I have to tell you _everything_?"

They both heard him exactly, it was hard not to, with how loud his voice was and then especially the high-pitch it had taken on towards the end of his rant, and still neither of them seemed to pay any attention to him. Something that wasn't altogether unusual and yet, after a few seconds, there was finally some motion in Sasuke and he took a step to the front, a step out of the shadows and Sayuri's eyes widened slightly at the sight of him.

There were bandages going around his forehead and most of the left half of his face, but still there were the ends of a few narrow, but deep red streaks, visible on his cheek. In addition there was a big plaster covering his left eye and on his chin as well, even his hands were all wrapped up – he barely looked better than Naruto did. Actually he looked worse even, probably because there was no smile on his lips, distracting from all the injuries he had sustained. She wondered what she looked like herself…

"You woke up…" Sasuke finally said with calm confidence, like he hasn't been as anxious as her about breaking the silence. His confidence however didn't take away anything of Sayuri's timidity and so she just kept looking at him, casting down her eyes briefly in a silent response. And now it was awkwardly quiet again.

Sasuke was stoic, Sayuri was insecure and Naruto… Naruto, he was impatient.

"Is that it?" He groused, wondering how they could get so stuck in a situation as simple as this one.

He could think of a dozen things he would say or do, if he were in their shoes and pretty much all of these ended up with them falling into each other's arms. Little did he know about all the things that occurred between them from the day on that Sasuke met Madara. Things that definitely justified the anxiety between them. In fact he didn't even think about any of this. He neither thought about how they had broken up, nor did he think about how they might not be back together again. After all he remembered how Sayuri had cried for him, thinking he was a lost cause already and breaking at it and he also remembered Sasuke, not having eyes for anything, anyone but her, worried sick about her condition.

That is why it not once crossed his mind that they were facing some difficulties still. That is why he couldn't understand just what Sasuke was doing there. Even he had greeted Sayuri far more heartily than Sasuke, as her boyfriend, had and after he had spent most of his free time lingering around her bed, his restraint seemed just ridiculous.

"You two are unbelievable." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Sayuri has been asleep in the last days, she has no idea what happened, so how about you start filling her in on everything, or you start off with some small talk, hugging, whatever…" He shrugged, completely unaware of how uncomfortable he made his team-mates feel, but only one of them let it show by blushing slightly. At least Sayuri thought she was blushing, but then she still felt so cold and her blood pressure had to be really low, so she couldn't quite tell for sure and Sasuke left it at rolling his eyes and glaring at the blonde, but that one paid no heed to him. "Damn it, you're a couple, how about acting like that."

"Shut up, dobe." Sasuke finally hissed in an attempt to silence the blabbermouth, before things would get even more awkward, while his words at once drew Sayuri's attention to him.

_Dobe_? – Words and not weapons. Maybe there has been more to her dream than she had thought. Maybe it hasn't been a dream… She'd like to think so at least – she really did…

"Y-you… waited…?" She asked, hating the way her voice sounded, in spite of having drunken something, it was still really hoarse and craggy and she wondered just how long she had been asleep and what happened in the meantime. But then she felt too groggy still to be able to take in much of what was going on around her, least of all longer, complicated sequences of words, so she would keep her questions to herself, until she was ready to hear the answers.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded and regarded her with an inscrutable expression and then Sayuri nodded as well, before they both fell silent again.

"_And_…?" Naruto furrowed his brows impatiently and moved his hand in a way to signal them to carry on. "Isn't there something else… you want… to do…?" He asked, acting innocent, but once he had finished talking, he started puckering his lips and made some munching sounds.

"Idiot." Sasuke sighed and took another step forward, right to Sayuri's bed, which startled her a little, especially as he then leaned over it and she watched him reach out to the curtain at the end of her bed and pull it around it, blocking out Naruto this way.

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed sulkily. "Just because I can't see you, doesn't mean I can't hear you – don't do anything I wouldn't…"

You could easily tell from the sound of his voice, that he had to be sitting on his bed with a wide grin on his face, but none of them paid any attention to him. With the curtain drawn it was just the two of them now, without Naruto to ease the mood and the tension was clearly palpable.

It was _awkward_.

Sasuke's gaze moved back to her, silently observing her, while he moved back and sat down on the edge of her bed, his hand resting on the mattress right beside Sayuri's own, but not close enough to touch it. He wouldn't hold her hand this time, huh?

"I told you I wouldn't let you die, didn't I?" He murmured in a low voice and lifted his hand to brush a strand of hair out of Sayuri's face, before he ran his hand across her cheek, as he put it back down on the mattress. Sayuri could feel her heartbeat quicken to an almost normal pace at his touch and even her lips were drawn up slightly. She really couldn't be mad at him, could she? Damn it…

She nodded slightly, trying her best to recall the situation and although she did in a way, it was just really blurry and context-free. She had no idea what exactly happened before or after it, there was just this one, blurry scene, but at least she remembered.

"How do you feel?" His voice was barely louder than a whisper and she wondered if he just didn't want to overwhelm her or if he was only cautious about not letting Naruto hear him. But it was also soft, so uncommonly soft and even his eyes were lacking that sharp edge and it suited him well to not look so grim. But there was also something else in his face, something she couldn't quite identify…

Sayuri was so taken in by trying to analyse this one, slight alteration, that she almost forgot about his question, but now she moistened her dry lips and murmured: "Tired…"

"Hn." Sasuke nodded slightly and got up from the bed, getting the hint or at least he thought so and he understood why she'd rather be alone. Once he had turned around to leave, though, Sayuri raised her voice hastily, holding him back.

"C-can you…" She stammered, but broke off then and it was only as Sasuke turned around again and met her glassy eyes that she took a deep breath and carried on. "Can you… stay here…?"

Sasuke held her gaze, until she cast her eyes down and closed them completely as she heard his steps, leading away from her, but before a deeper sense of disappointment could settle, they came closer again and she realized now, that Sasuke had only picked up a chair and now placed it right beside her bed.

He sat down on it, staring vacant-eyed at the mint-green curtain, shielding them from anyone's view, and Sayuri wondered just what was going on in his head.

"Thank you." It took her quite an effort to lift her arm, but she somehow managed and carefully placed her hand on the side of his face, a little intimidated by all the bandages, though.

His eyes quickly switched to hers then, wide awake again and scrutinized her for a long moment. She could have sworn he looked confused, but then he cupped his hand around hers and leaned into the touch, sighing deeply while his eyes fell shut.

He looked so tired…

She gently ran her thumb across his cheek, but only felt the rough bandages underneath and she remembered him flying through the crater, falling to the ground, remembered the shield around him, remembered his eyes and his face all bloody. How come he wasn't lying in a bed? He didn't look like he should be running around here, especially considering how strict the medic had been with Naruto.

Sasuke raised his head again, his eyes, or at least the one she could see, halfway-closed and still he met hers at once, his lips parted slightly, as though he wanted to say something and there was a lot that had to be said still… He didn't though, instead he leaned forward, his free hand wandering to Sayuri's shoulder, his upper body halfway over hers and then his lips already sought hers. Not soft and there was no restraint left either. His kiss was hard, almost clumsy and although it took her by surprise at first, she liked the determination behind it. Liked the urging edge of it.

Far too soon he broke the kiss again, buried his face in her chest, right above her uncommonly quiet heart and his one hand was still clasped around her shoulder, his other holding her hand that was now resting on the back of his neck. She brought up her other hand as well, seeing that it was bandaged and that there was a tube, leading into her arm, and began running it through his hair, feeling him relax at the touch.

He must have really been worried…

"Sasuke?" She whispered his name and watched him raise his head slowly and there was again that vacant look on his face. Or maybe it was really only exhaustion… "There's a lot we need to talk about…"

"Hn." He nodded slightly, his eyes moving down, avoiding hers.

When had that ever happened?

"But not now…" She sighed and leaned forward to kiss the top of his head, before she fell back into the soft pillows. There was no point talking now. She had reached the end of her tether and would probably be unable to take in anything of what he would tell her, but as it seemed she was in no hurry. It was over and they were still here. There'd be enough time to talk things over and make things right again. _Soon_.

…

…

The next day Sayuri was feeling much better already. With all the painkillers flowing through her system, she was entirely unaware of all physical afflictions and she wasn't so very sleepy any more either. Sasuke hasn't been there as she woke up, but Naruto was and so she had successfully managed to stay awake for a full hour already, in which her bed-neighbour had brought her up to date with what happened, while she had been out of it.

There had been moments in which she wished she hadn't asked.

Especially at the beginning, as he had told her about how their mission had passed off from the moment she had been kidnapped. As he told her about how they fought against Sasuke, how he told them he had killed her and it was just then that she understood what Naruto had been talking about, as she had woken up for the first time. And she didn't have the slightest clue what could have led Sasuke to say something like that. There really _was_ a lot they still had to talk about…

Naruto carried on then with telling her about how Kakashi had come to help them. Then came the part when she had died. It had been so weird to listen to him talk about that; listen to him talk about how she had died when she was here, fully alive, and as she had only just gotten to know, because of Karin. It didn't really sound like Karin to do something like that for her, but then that only ended up making her even more grateful than she was anyhow. She wondered where Karin had gone to now and if she'd ever get a chance to thank her…

That was the first, tough part of his story, but the second one was no better. The part about how they returned to Konoha, only to find that it wasn't there anymore and was at that moment under attack by Akatsuki. She couldn't quite grasp what he was saying. How could Konoha be gone? It was a whole village after all – she had no idea if it was only because she was tired still, but this surely exceeded her imagination and in spite of the pain killers, she had felt a headache creep up on her ever so slowly, but relentlessly all the same and it had become hard to keep her eyes and ears open in order to follow Naruto's tale and he was usually talking with his whole body, so she needed both of them.

The blonde had only just begun to talk about how he had prepared to go into Sage Mode and sent all others ahead to buy him some time. He even told her what happened during _their_ fight then, told her everything so vividly, as if he had been there himself and Sayuri could see everything in front of her, as though she had seen it with her very own eyes and not just through Naruto's words.

She knew that he was talking like… _a lot_ all the time, but this is the first time that she noticed just what a good narrator he was. Although he was also pretty strict. He didn't allow for questions or comments and only reacted with an aggressive '_Shh'_ or a '_Just listen to the end'_.

She wasn't the only one listening to him. At the beginning she had wondered a little why they had put her into a room with Naruto, and why there were so many people running around here anyway, but only about half an hour ago, she had realized that this was by no means a double bedroom, but a whole ward, with at least thirty or maybe even more beds. She has heard all these voices all the time, but she hasn't been quite clear enough to put one and one together and realize that all these people were in the same room as her. And it had also taken her quite some time to realize that they were not in Konoha anymore. One look out of the window had made her sure of that…

And now they were here, so many people from Konoha in a hospital in Suna-Gakure. Naruto was still in the process of telling the story of how they had gotten here in the first place and by now, at least ten people had gathered around his bed, from time to time blocking her sight of the blonde, but he would always shoo them away and they would listen right away and even apologise for their thoughtless behaviour, which seemed kind of weird. They were treating him like some sort of authority figure and were giving him all these awed looks, while they practically hung on his lips, following his every word, like he was sharing the meaning of life.

Naruto had really well painted the picture of a destroyed Konoha, but it was only as he had explicitly mentioned how Rock Lee had been killed by an Akatsuki that Sayuri realized what all of this meant. She's had Sasuke and Naruto here with her, when she had doubted that she'd ever see them peacefully in one and the same room again, had doubted to ever see Sasuke among so many people in a public institution, but here they were and she had at once taken the well-being of these two people as a sign that everything was just fine.

How very naïve of her.

All this time she had listened to Naruto's talk about a destroyed Konoha and an Akatsuki attack and yet she had not once thought about how some people must have come to perish – quite many people actually… What if there was no one left, but the people in here? From how depressive the mood here was, it wouldn't be surprising, there were so many people crying all the time; crying, screaming and praying through the night – now she knew why…

From that point on, she had barely been able to listen to him any longer. She was far too shocked, far too busy with pondering just how many people would fit in this hospital, but even if she piled them up, it would be far too few.

So it happened after all… Konoha was no more, and it was only a tiny scrap of comfort to know that it hasn't been Sasuke's doing. If there weren't so many people here, she would have told Naruto to stop talking and then hid herself under her blanket to have a good cry, but this way she held back, although her lips were already quivering suspiciously and it became harder and harder to breathe past the growing lump in her throat.

She wondered why she even bothered. It's not like she'd be the only one crying. There were already two women, having a cry on each other's shoulders and there was also a man, she knew somehow, snivelling into his sleeve, but she was determined to carry on listening to Naruto to the very end. And how could she do that when her own sobs were filling her ears? There had to be some hope in his story – after all he hadn't lost his smile, had he?

This first shock was far too soon followed by yet another one: Hatake Kakashi was dead as well. He was their sensei. One of the people who had brought her into this village – the one, which just like him no longer existed. And besides, he had been her first reference person ever, almost like a father figure at the beginning and he was so strong and experienced – how could he just die?

That's when the dam broke. The tears were flowing freely down her cheeks and there was nothing left to steady her body and keep it from shaking, but at least she managed to cry in silence and so it took some time until Naruto noticed it.

"Sayuri-chan? Hey…?" He leaned over to her, as far as his bed allowed, which wasn't really much, and gave her a shocked look, as though it actually surprised him that hearing all these terrible things made her cry.

How could he so bluntly tell her all this? He hadn't even given her any prior warning – nothing. But then she had asked and he had probably thought that the fact that they were in a hospital, had made her figure out that something bad must have happened…

"Look, I'm not done yet. You need to listen to the end. Really…" He nodded at her encouragingly, seeming fairly distressed about seeing her like this. He really hadn't meant to make her cry. "I'm getting to the good part. Believe me…"

"Hmpf." She exhaled loudly and shrugged, not really keen on listening to him any longer, but then the other people apparently were and Naruto seemed to flourish in his role as storyteller, so she couldn't get herself to tell him to stop.

"I told you not to upset her."

They perceived a husky voice and you could see Naruto stiffen instantaneously, as some people in the crowd around him stepped aside, creating a small aisle, through which Sasuke stepped then.

"I-I only told her what happened." Naruto defended himself. "I've just gotten to the part where I fought Pain."

"…" Sasuke narrowed his eyes into slits and glared at the blonde suspiciously. He didn't know how much he had told her already, but Sasuke had warned him before about mentioning certain things to her and although Naruto had been against it, it wasn't his choice to make. And so Sasuke's deep black eyes rested on Naruto's artless blue ones some time longer, as long as it took for him to be sure that the Uzumaki had stuck to their agreement – to his request.

He stepped past him then and right to Sayuri's bed and once he reached it, he peeked over his shoulder, to give the people around them, who were all curiously watching him, a disapproving scowl and they knew when to feel intimidated… After all, Sasuke had a Sharingan, so if there was one person whose looks could kill, then it were his.

As though by command, they turned their back on them, starting little conversations among each other or turning their full attention to Naruto again, asking him to carry on with his story, but he adamantly refused. After all the good part was yet to come, and he really wanted Sayuri to hear it and make up for having made her cry… The blonde was probably the only person who wasn't afraid of watching the two.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked in a calm voice, once he had successfully put everyone in their place and turned back to Sayuri, who was trying hard to stop snivelling, but it wouldn't work. You could just as well tell the sky to stop being blue. Except for Sasuke and Naruto, she hadn't even seen a single person of their age-group here, did that mean they were all… dead?

"Are you kidding?" She sobbed, a bitter smile raising the corners of her lips, making her look even more desperate. "They are all dead and you ask _what it is_?"

She was most definitely upset, when in her condition she should be anything but that. She was on strict bed rest with the stress on _rest_, so she should basically just lie around and stare at the ceiling and not cry over friends she thought to have lost.

"They aren't dead." Sasuke tried to soothe her, but his words seemed to have the opposite effect on her.

"Stop lying! Naruto told me. He told me about Lee and Kakashi…" Her voice was cut off by yet another sob, which made her press the back of her hand against her mouth, before she mumbled past it. "Where is everybody? Where is Neji? Where is Hinata? Where is Ino? Where is Sa-"

"They are all in Konoha." He cut her off, before she could get all worked up about this. "They aren't here because they don't need to. They are well enough – Lee and Kakashi, too."

"R-really…?" Sayuri looked up at the dark-haired man, not ready yet to believe him. It would be devastating, if she raised her hopes now only to be disappointed then, but he looked so certain. His eyes not once wavered from hers and he sat down on her bed again.

"Hn." He nodded calmly and now there was finally a trace of relief visible in Sayuri's troubled features, but then she switched her watery eyes to Naruto, who was still watching them and seemed a little surprised about her attention.

"What's wrong with you to say such terrible things then?" Her eyes narrowed into a glare and her voice was still thick with tears, but nevertheless her anger came across pretty well and Naruto didn't hesitate to defend himself.

"I wasn't finished yet! I'm not telling any lies. If you just let me talk to the end—" He broke off as Sayuri brought her gaze back to Sasuke, the questions in them all too clear. What Naruto said and what Sasuke said contradicted each other. One of them said they died, the other said they didn't. Sasuke had often enough turned out as patronising towards her and he'd even have a motive to lie to her, but then she liked his version better than Naruto's…

"They did die…" Sasuke admitted and Sayuri felt like the ground was being pulled away from under her feet – the deep fall after having felt relieved already… "But everyone was revived again."

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed angrily. "You can't just tell her the outcome already, what's with you?" Instead of responding, Sasuke only glared at the blonde, obviously willing him to be quiet.

"I-I don't understand…" Sayuri stammered and stared vacant-eyed at her blanket. "How is that possible?"

"I don't know, but it is." Sasuke shrugged. "All the dead were revived again."

"So… in the end no one died?" She finally detached her eyes from her covers and cast a hopeful glance at the dark-haired man.

"…No." He said after some time. "Many people have been buried under the remnants of the village. Only a small part of those could be saved, the others only died a second time."

"H-how cruel…" Sayuri looked down again, trying to block out the pictures that were mercilessly flooding her head. Just imagine being buried under masses of stones that made the foundations of what used-to-be houses and then dying because of the unbearable pressure on your body or maybe because of a lack of oxygen and then you get to live again and have to go through the same hell all over again, before you are send back to the land of the dead.

These thoughts involuntarily caused her to shiver and in spite of how awful they were, in spite of the fact that she should mourn for all the people who died, she also felt a sense of relief that this fate had apparently not befallen any of the people she knew – and she felt terribly guilty for that…

And there was another thing… She had by no means missed out on the fact that no one had said anything about her pregnancy yet – not even Naruto, in spite of what a blabbermouth he was and he had to know. She was in a hospital now; the doctors must have seen it. Maybe they had thought it was private and hadn't told anyone, but Sasuke still knew and he hasn't said anything either. Unfortunately she had enough medical knowledge to be able to put one and one together and figure out the obvious. She had died and then passed from death to coma. That didn't sound like something a tangerine-sized foetus could cope with…

New shadows drew across Sayuri's still unfocused eyes, as she let herself fall back into her pillows and pulled the blanket up to her nose. All the people here were running around in T-shirts and shorts and she hasn't seen anyone else lying under a blanket yet, but that changed only very little about the fact that she was freezing.

"You want me to carry on now?" Naruto asked, but Sayuri didn't respond. She didn't want to listen to him. All she wanted was to be left alone, lie here and stare at the ceiling or the other side of her lids – something that wouldn't overwhelm her with yet more sensations, she wouldn't be able to cope with anyway.

She couldn't believe she was all by herself again… That there was only herself in this body now and although that's what it has been like for 99.8% of her life, it still felt…_odd_. Just as the picture of them being a tiny, happy family had almost been in reach again, with the latest turn of events, it was now gone. And only because she hadn't listened. Only because she had been more interested in satisfying her curiosity and lessening her own anxiety, than in doing what she was supposed to do. In staying back where no one could harm her and she couldn't impede anyone either.

"Helloo?" Naruto chanted impatiently, still waiting for her answer, but Sayuri didn't listen to him, in fact she was barely aware of his presence or anyone else's. Right now it was only her and the ceiling.

"What's this all about?" A nurse with a very high voice and a very strict face stepped to Naruto's bed. "Enough for now. This is a hospital and no street café. Off you go to your beds." She watched, with her hands stemmed against her hips, how the crowd around the blonde dissolved little by little, with quite some grumbling sounds, though – at least everyone but Sasuke.

"You, too. They need rest." The nurse turned to the Uchiha, but instead of complying or saying anything, he only glowered at her through his messy bangs, involving the rather persistent woman in a silent battle, which he eventually won.

"Ten minutes." She snapped to cover up her defeat and then she marched off, still with her hands on her hips.

"Damn – I hate when they act like we are old and brittle, seriously." Naruto groused in a subdued voice, once he had made sure that there was no one around. "Okay, where was I?" Ever so eager to spread his heroic deeds, the blonde sat ramrod straight in his bed again, an anticipating look plastered all over his face.

"It's enough for today, Naruto." Sasuke calmly repeated what the nurse had also said and gave his team-mate a meaningful look, before he turned his attention to Sayuri again, but she only stared off into space and he wondered where she was now, because it was not here.

She had withdrawn into her own little shell, almost like a turtle, the way she always did to get away from him or anyone else and he wanted to pull her back out and drive those shadows from her eyes, but he didn't know how. He couldn't tell what she needed right now, if it was being left alone or being comforted and he didn't know how to comfort her either. Things that used to be natural for him had turned into practically unsolvable riddles. Maybe because his Mangekyou had really burned out any knowledge about interpersonal relationships, maybe because he was afraid of trying, maybe a bit of both.

Even so, with everything he didn't know, or perhaps no longer knew, he was aware of the walls she had built up around herself and he could even understand her – after all he was the reason why they were there in the first place. He had done his part in building them up and all she did was keeping them standing. And in spite of how quick they had risen on the foundation of lost trust and broken promises, he knew it would take some time to break them down again. Trying to tear them down right away, would only frighten her off and drive her further away from him. So he'd have to go step by step, brick by brick and try to widen the small cracks there already were in the wall to reach out to her. Pull her back to him, because he knew that this is what the old Sasuke would have done.

Little did he know that she was by no means the only one seeking shelter behind thick walls of seemingly insurmountable brickwork. By now he had internalised his own walls and those were of the kind that emperors use to shield their castles from invaders. His defences had become a part of him, the way his skin was a part of him and there was nothing for him to do to keep them there. He was so used to them even, that he no longer perceived their presence and so instead of starting with his own walls, he tried to tear down Sayuri's, when they were only a response to his. When they were all she had to get through this situation unharmed.

"Is there anything you need?" He offered clumsily, although his voice and his stance didn't give away that he actually didn't know what he was doing.

"…" She didn't respond, too far back had she crawled into her shell, where there were only her thoughts and no possibility to flee from them.

He exchanged a brief glance with Naruto, his black eyes holding no trace of emotions, Naruto's blue ones holding worry. He wanted to reach out to her then, at least physically, if that was all he could do, but it was a sense of his own guilt that kept him from it.

It felt like he had long forfeited the right to be with her – to be with any of these people. Too little had he done to deserve a place in their company. It weren't his deeds, but their kindness which kept him here. And yet he had held her hand, selfish as he was, he had even kissed her, had sought comfort in holding her, when it was his fault she was here in the first place.

"Sayuri?" He tried again, only because it looked like Naruto wanted to do, too and he placed a hand on her upper arm after all – a neutral touch that nevertheless did its job in drawing her attention towards him.

"I just… want to sleep…" She finally murmured, her voice sounding much lower than before, pressured down by the weight of all these far too grave thoughts stuffing her head.

"That's okay." He said, as though she had asked for his permission, but he didn't know what else to say. He hasn't had the impression that she was particularly tired, with her emotional outburst before, but then what did he know? Maybe she was tired because of it…

"No…" She shook her head with her eyes closed. "I only just woke up."

"That doesn't matter…"

"Hm…" Sayuri shrugged, as far as she was able to while lying down. She didn't want to sleep or do anything else that would give her time to think, and staying in a hospital entailed a lot of time of doing exactly that. She could ask him about the baby and spare herself a lot of torments, but then knowing would make it real, and she didn't want it to be real, as long as she was still here and had far too much time to suffer the consequences of this little piece of knowledge.

She gazed to the side then, towards the window, but her eyes remained stuck on the big bouquet of flowers, standing on her nightstand. It were beautiful, white lilies, keeping their heavy heads held high in a graceful arc, defying the dismal atmosphere of this room with their unique charm. She couldn't help but be reminded of her dream; reminded of an imaginary journey she had taken with Sasuke. Maybe it had been more than a mere dream, but rather a forerunner of things to come. Of a journey they were about to make as a happy couple. A happy family, walking on roads leading away from the past in their quest for a better future.

"Who brought them?" She asked, never lifting her eyes off the flowers, hoping for Sasuke to admit that it was him, hoping for another sign, hoping for him to pick up one of them and tell her the name really suited her – hoping _that_ was even less realistic than the actual dream had been…

"Neji." Naruto answered and now drew Sayuri's gaze to himself. "He said he wanted you to see something nice when you wake up."

Wow. Go Neji. Shame on you Sasuke. Sasuke probably didn't even know they were her favourites. She had been named after them – had been practically named by him, but realistically speaking that didn't have to mean anything. Just because they found her near a field of lilies didn't mean she had to like them. She might even hate them because they represented a cut between her old and her new life and she could never be sure if the old one hasn't been a better one. But she didn't think it was – at least most of the time…

"He was here?"

"Yes, but he went back to Konoha already. He only had a broken arm and so they let him go."

"Hm…" Sayuri nodded thoughtfully. "How did they get all the people here?"

She really couldn't imagine how they had brought all the wounded people the whole way from Konoha to Suna-Gakure. It was a three day journey in normal circumstances and then they said she had only been unconscious for four days and those dates were a little too close together to make sense.

"They used a space-time summoning jutsu. It took a day to prepare it, but then the actual journey only took a few seconds." This time Sasuke answered, ever so soberly sticking to the facts.

"Five minutes." The snippy nurse reminded, as she passed them, as though she actually believed that Sasuke would listen to her.

"Where are you staying?" Sayuri asked him.

"Here in the hospital."

"But where?"

"In a different ward." Sasuke answered curtly.

"Oh…" Sayuri looked down again. "I thought all people from Konoha were here…"

"Nah… not all." Naruto took over, a hint of annoyance seeping through his voice. "This is the ward for those who aren't allowed to leave the bed. Guess it's easier for the nurses this way to keep an overview. Once they see an empty bed they push the panic button."

"But you left your bed already…"

"Yesss—" Naruto drew out the word and switched his eyes from side to side stealthily, hoping no one had heard her, because otherwise he'd be in quite some trouble. "And I'd be really grateful if you kept that to yourself."

"Hmm…" Sayuri emitted a musing sound, before she turned back to Sasuke with a somewhat graver topic in mind. Much graver actually, which is also what made her so reluctant to speak up. Sasuke had apparently noticed already; she could practically see his defences clamp over his eyes, like the door of a trap, locking his emotions inside.

"Uhm… How come… they let you just… stay here? I mean, after what happened…" Her voice trailed off, her eyes no longer focused on Sasuke's guarded eyes, but his tightly balled fists – there used to be a time, when he was better about keeping up his pretence of indifference.

From what Naruto had told her about how Sasuke had helped them fight Pain, it was easy to tell why Naruto had so unconditionally forgiven him. He'd always forgive him, regardless of what he had done – it was just in his nature, but the others weren't so easily softened.

"Because they are too kind for their own good…" Sasuke murmured cryptically, his face suddenly bathed in shadows that haven't been there just a second ago. Just why did he sound so bitter?

"Hehe – true." Naruto grinned, apparently unaware of the shift in mood the situation had taken. "Everyone stretched the truth for him a little."

"And Tsunade really bought that?"

"She didn't really ask." Naruto shrugged. "I guess she chose to remain ignorant about all this. It's not like she doesn't have enough things to worry about at the moment and then she's really fond of you after all, so-"

"Really?" Sayuri raised an eyebrow sceptically, thinking of a couple of situations that made her doubt that somehow…

"Of course! You're her student after all!"

Well, that was true, but even so, there has always been a clear hierarchy, with Shizune and Sakura at the very top and Ino and her following somewhat after them. With Sakura's skills, she had not only monopolised Tsunade's attention, but also her affection. So there has been something left for her after all, huh?

"Even _Neji_ covered him!" Naruto exclaimed, thinking this peculiarity deserved a separate mention. "He thought you'd need him now that you're having a baby…"

"B-baby?" Sayuri stammered, her eyes wide with shock – almost like the time she had gotten to know she was pregnant in the first place. She even felt like that, her heart was beating so fast now, and there was some sort of reverberation to all the sounds she heard. Would she pass out now? – She tried not to…

"You didn't forget, did you?" Sasuke frowned at her, not so sure what to make of her expression.

"I-it's okay?"

"Hn." Sasuke nodded and watched her close her eyes, while a deep sigh escaped her lips. She didn't have it in her to smile right now. Did she even want to smile?

"N-no one ever said anything about it… so I thought… I thought…"

"No." Sasuke interrupted her. "It's healthy."

The reason why no one talked about it, was because he hadn't wanted them to. He saw no need for Sayuri to know that she had actually lost the baby already and that only as things had been over already and Sakura had meant to get it out of her, she had realized that it was alive again. Revived by Pain's jutsu, just like everyone else. And neither did he want Sayuri to know about how the doctors and scientist here were curious about the baby.

After all it had been dead for full twenty minutes, before it had been revived again, but the point was that it died and came back to life before it had even been born. And now people were wondering if Pain's jutsu had left any marks on it. He didn't think so – the other people who have been revived again haven't been left with any changes either – except for being alive when they shouldn't, but then these were grown ups, which meant fully developed people whereas the baby wasn't, so maybe it was more accessible to exterior influences. But he doubted it and he really didn't like the fuss they were making about it. Their talk about all the tests they wanted to do and their requests for allowance to monitor the baby even after its birth. He didn't want Sayuri to have to deal with all that, especially not because he couldn't be sure if Sayuri might not believe them. It was enough that she was scared of the whole situation, there was no need for her to get scared of the baby itself.

"So… basically… everything is going well?" Sayuri asked hesitantly – after what happened, all these good news seemed rather unrealistic and so she was just waiting for the small _but…_ that would set things right again and remind her that this was no fairy tale and that happy endings were rare, not to say non existent in the real world.

"Sure it is!" Naruto grinned happily and yet there was something different about his expression, something that didn't exactly speak for happiness. She averted her eyes quickly before she could find out just what it was.

"They already started rebuilding the village. It'll take some time of course, but I'm sure the hospital will be ready, once your big day has come…" The blonde winked at the two of them, and now Sayuri locked her eyes with Sasuke's again and he could see the silent questions they contained.

His silent answer was just as obvious. Even before he had turned his face away to look out of the window, had she been sure of what she now knew for certain. He still didn't plan to go back to Konoha. Even now, even after fighting with them, he still couldn't look over what they had apparently done to his clan and she wondered if anything of what happened lately, had mattered anything. If his apparent change of heart had left him as a different man than he had been, as he joined Akatsuki; as the man who had chosen his revenge over her and their baby. And most of all she wondered if he wouldn't do it again…

Heavy-hearted, her eyes moved to the window as well, but once again they remained stuck on the flowers. The beautiful white lilies, Neji had left here for her to make her happy.

It bothered her more than it should that the first one was already beginning to wither.

…

…


	44. Farewell

**44. Farewell**

It was another one of those for Suna so typical hot and sunny days, with temperatures Konoha has never yet seen, which is why its citizens weren't used to them. It was summer after all and they were in the middle of the desert, so it wasn't surprising that the air was bone-dry and there wasn't even enough wind to stir a leaf, not to mention cooling the leaf-people. It was like they were caught in an oven with non-functioning ventilation. And that's what it was like within the hospital – one of the few air-conditioned buildings within the Hidden Sand. That was probably the reason why so little people ever left it, except when it meant going back to Konoha.

They had kept their connection to the Leaf Village. Ten people on a whole were responsible for the transportation matters. Five in Konoha, five in Suna. Since the jutsu demanded so much chakra from all the users, they only proceeded every two days at a fixed hour, to make sure the people wouldn't be stuck in some sort of inter-dimension for too long. Unlike at the beginning, they didn't have much to do at the moment. Most of the people in hospital really needed to be there and wouldn't get out too soon, but whoever had the chance left. All too great were their worries about what happened to their hometown and their ambition to help rebuild the Leaf Village.

One week has passed, since the day Konoha has been destroyed. It seemed like it had only been yesterday. Time really seemed to stand still at this place. There were still emergency cases, people who hovered between life and death, which was only signalised by the beeping of the machines they were connected to, the ones that kept them alive in the first place. The beeping was the only thing which assured you that they were still alive and the occasional absence of even that simple sound, caused everyone around them to come to life in turn.

Of the people that had made it long enough to be brought here and have had access to medical treatment, 23 succumbed to their injuries. To their crushed limbs, their failing organs and their damaged brains and almost twice as many people were still left hovering. Things were far from being over yet in more than one aspect…

There were enough individual fates that waited for guidance. Sayuri didn't even have an idea where her own would lead her to. Just as predicted, or maybe even feared, the situation wasn't as easy and rosy as Naruto had painted it. As he had told her about how Tsunade had too much to do now to take care of Sasuke's case, he had failed to mention that the stress was on the _now_. No final decisions have been made yet. It could still happen that one day a squad of ANBU would appear to arrest Sasuke without any prior warning.

No one in Suna and hardly anyone in Konoha knew about him though and so he could move around freely here. Nevertheless he was supposed to report to one of the ANBU, who have been positioned here, when he wanted to go somewhere, in case he should leave the village at least, but since he didn't even leave the hospital, they haven't heard much of him yet.

They said he'd have to stay in hospital for at least another week, same as Naruto, but unlike him, he had the official allowance to leave his bed, whereas Naruto could only do so when he was unobserved. Regardless of how often he told them that he was doing fine and that he could actually leave already, no one would listen to him. From what she had seen thus far, Sayuri would say he was right – he was definitely in a better shape than Sasuke, and he ran around with much worse injuries already and she wondered if there wasn't something else behind his extended stay. Maybe Tsunade didn't want someone as clumsy as the Uzumaki to rush through the village, while they were busy rebuilding it or she just wanted to make sure he'd get some rest. Or maybe it was related to the reason why they said Sayuri had to stay in hospital for up to two months.

With her medical knowledge she would say such a long stay was in no relation to the actual extent of her injuries. She had been in coma alright and she's had a really bad head injury, but she was more or less okay now. Not okay as in she could leave right away, but maybe in a week or two and it would be fine or at least she thought so. She was a little suspicious about it in any case and wondered if they wanted to keep her in hospital this long, to make sure Sasuke would stay here, because he _would_ stay with her – that much was certain. They were something like a soon-to-be family now, right? So maybe Tsunade hoped she could keep him from disappearing, until the situation had settled enough for her to have time to deal with his case. Almost like she was some kind of hostage…

But she wouldn't complain. She still didn't know what would happen next. The promise (or threat) of having to talk, hung in the air between them like a heavy dark cloud, ready to burst into a violent storm. Maybe that was why he came so rarely lately. He dreaded the conversation just as much as she did, but that didn't change a thing about the fact that it was inevitable. They would have to talk about the future sooner or later and she'd rather do so sooner. Just get it over with, quick and painless like ripping off a band aid. But in spite of her resolve, she just couldn't get herself to actually make the first step.

She blamed it on there not being any privacy. There were so many people around here; Naruto was getting really many visitors, who always asked him to retell how he defeated Pain (almost) all by himself. A lot of people asked Sasuke too, but he always told them to go away and then they ceased asking.

Sasuke seemed really tense all the time. It had to be weird for him to be among so many people again. Actually, he had only been gone for a bit more than a month, but the real time had hardly anything in common with the perceived time. And then almost no one seemed to be aware of what happened while he was gone and she could tell that he felt uncomfortable about that – maybe guilty even… So it wasn't surprising that he was fleeing from everyone – her included. He always appeared, distant, detached, lost in thoughts – they were both good at that, but while she could only detach herself mentally, he also did so physically, and that really wasn't productive just about now.

It was late afternoon already. The hottest time of day and yet Sayuri still couldn't be moved to crawl out from under her blanket. She was only lying around all day, so it wasn't surprising that her blood pressure stayed too low to not allow her to break a sweat. In fact her feet and her hands were lumps of ice and she felt dizzy whenever she only moved her head too quickly. But then right now that wasn't necessary. She only lay here with her eyes closed and her face turned towards the ceiling, while she listened to Naruto retell his story for at least the twentieth time.

Still she wasn't tired of it yet. She loved to listen to Naruto. When Sasuke talked it was like he was reading out the names of the single chapters of a book – he gave you five-hundred pages in fifty words, whereas when Naruto told you a story you got the extended version with annotations and personal remarks and ever new twists and turns in the plot and that was not only much more fun to listen to, but it was also a far more effective way to kill a greater deal of time than with Sasuke's brief summary and time was something she had plenty of.

In fact, everyone had, and still she hadn't seen Sasuke since yesterday morning. He wasn't coming around so often and when he did, then only briefly and that although Naruto had told her that while she had been unconscious, he had been here all day, but now that she was awake, he only showed up for a couple of minutes and then left again. His visits had become shorter from day to day and now he hasn't been here at all, so how could she not assume that he was avoiding her?

She almost didn't miss him. Nevertheless she wondered what he was doing all the time. Did he do it like her and spent his days sleeping or daydreaming? Did he also have such an entertaining bed neighbour as she did? Or was he maybe busy with laying out the plans for their future without thinking it necessary to involve her in the process?

Where would they go to anyway if not to Konoha? He'd probably want to get as far away from the Hidden Leaf as possible, without telling anyone about it – cutting all the ties to his past life and her past life along with it. Needless to say that she wasn't okay with that, but she had promised him what felt like ages ago that she'd go with him. That she'd start a new life with him, far away, from everything that happened, from everyone they knew and she'd stick to her words. The latest turn of events, might excuse that she'd change her mind, but that would only complicate matters further and that was absolutely unnecessary. Her family should be what mattered most and her family was Sasuke and so she wouldn't go back on her word.

Relationships were about compromises, weren't they? He ceased on his plans about destroying their home and she'd leave with him and search a new home then. She tried really hard to be enthusiastic about it; to look forward to their new life and especially to having a family of her own, but it didn't really work… Maybe because there were too many uncertainties still… How could she look forward to something that was as obscure as the murky depths of a sea?

"Well, look who finally woke up…"

Sayuri perceived a familiar voice and at once moved her eyes towards the speaker, a smile on her face even before she had spotted her.

"Temari." She grinned at the blonde woman, whom she hadn't seen in almost a year, which was quite a pity since she really liked her. However her friend didn't seem to share her enthusiasm about their meeting though, at least that's how her posture with her arms crossed in front of her chest and then that strict look on her face made her appear.

"Oh! You remember my name. Who would've thought…" Temari droned sarcastically, still looking obviously disgruntled.

"Hey, don't be like that…" Sayuri moaned, feeling the slightest twinge of guilt though. She had really neglected her friend lately. She had only seen her when she had come to Konoha, which hadn't happened in quite some time. The last time Sayuri had been in Suna was much longer ago though – in fact she had only been here for three times and then always on missions, so she hasn't had much time at hand then… She has never even seen where Temari lived…

They've been writing though, but not as often as they used to do. Ever since she had gotten together with Sasuke, she had built up most of her free time around him. They were both ninja, which meant they were doing a lot of missions and then she was also working in the hospital, so it was only natural that they wanted to spend what little time they had with each other, right? Still that didn't excuse forgetting about her other friends…

"_Don't be like that_?" The blonde gave a humourless laugh. "I haven't heard from you in months! Apparently you have to be half dead to find time for a visit."

"That's not how it is…"

"Oh, really? How is it then?" Temari asked cynically and walked past the bed Naruto was lying in, completely ignoring his attempt number five at saying hello to her and then she came to a stop right in front of Sayuri, who looked rather uncomfortable, the way she hid there under her blanket.

"In my defence, I've been kidnapped for a considerable amount of time…" Sayuri murmured in a subdued voice, hoping that the fact that she was in hospital after all, would soften the Suna-nin a little, although she wasn't exactly known for being easily softened, on the contrary…

"Don't say… and what about the meantime?" Temari rolled her eyes mercilessly and instead of responding, Sayuri merely looked down at her blanket. Where was the point in defending herself when she knew she was wrong?

"You're right. I'm sorry…" She finally murmured, still with her eyes fastened on the blanket; she knew Temari and she knew she wouldn't let it go so quickly. She loved to be right and she'd use every chance to let others know so and rub it in that they were wrong – that's just how she was.

"You can always be sorry afterwards-"

"—ah, come on! Leave her alone, she's still recovering." Naruto stepped in to back up his friend.

"Uzumaki Naruto, huh?" Temari glanced over her shoulder at the Konoha-nin with that ever present sneer on her lips. "You're quite the topic lately. Can't cross a street without hearing your name…"

"Haha – really?" Naruto grinned and rubbed his nose proudly. "Like… what do people say…?" He prodded, ever so eager on praise, which he absorbed like a sponge and grew a millimetre taller with every compliment he internalised and that were quite a lot lately. At this rate, he'd become a giant soon enough (or maybe he'd just feel and act like one).

"Oh, this and that…" Temari shrugged him off. "I don't even believe half of it."

"What? Hey!" Naruto objected to her apparent doubt in his skills, although he didn't really know just what was spread in Suna's streets and the blonde kunoichi didn't seem inclined to fill him in on it. She only shrugged again and turned back around to Sayuri and leaned against the edge of her mattress, again crossing her arms in front of her chest in that stern manner.

"So how long are you gonna stay here now?"

"I don't know yet… Quite some time I guess…" Sayuri murmured, her voice lowering as her heart sunk.

"Depending on what? – Or should I say _who_?" Temari snorted, hitting the nail right on the head. There wasn't much she could hide from her.

"Guess so…"

"Oh – so you're his property now, huh?"

It was almost eerie, just how much Temari sounded like Neji and although they were both mistaken, they still had their point…

"That's not how it is…" Sayuri groaned, wondering if she only imagined it or if she really sounded like a broken record.

"Then tell me why you make yourself scarce ever since you came together with that guy."

Temari only remembered Sasuke as the boy from the Chunin Exams, the one who fought her brother and then there was of course the mission to retrieve him, as he decided to join Orochimaru – the first cooperation between Konoha and Suna, since they had renewed their alliance.

A complete failure.

She couldn't say he had left a positive impression on her back then and what she heard of him afterwards wasn't really better either, so she really didn't know why Sayuri was with him at all. Same as she didn't understand how Naruto could be so fanatic about him, going all the way to sacrifice his life only to get him back. Somehow Gaara understood him, he always said how much he admired the Uzumaki, whereas she only thought he was naïve, not to say a little retarded.

"Well… it's just… you know…" Sayuri beat around the bush. She really wished she was a better rhetorician, someone who could think up endlessly long, intricate sentences without any meaning at all, but they were so complex and convoluted that no one would notice and just take their being unable to understand them, as a proof of their validity and would be too impressed then to contradict her. That would definitely be better than her senseless stammering. "It was hard with all the missions and then the living together and—"

"You're living together?"

"Well, not anymore I guess… There's no place to live left, is there?" She left out the fact that she already moved out of his house, before the Leaf Village had been destroyed. So many things had happened in between, that it barely seemed to matter any longer.

"So it's really all gone?" Temari raised an eyebrow. "Hard to imagine…"

"I know. I didn't see it either – I was too busy being unconscious…" Sayuri stuck out her tongue, trying to find humour in the situation, but somehow it didn't work. Not surprising though…

"What happened to you anyway?"

_Okay_… That was a good question. Sasuke and Naruto had warned her already that everything concerning Madara was to be treated as top secret, so she couldn't tell her that he tried to kill her. And she had no idea either, if they had already made up a story that would explain her injuries, in which case it would be quite suspicious, if she came up with something entirely different.

"Uhm… I'm not so sure… it all happened so fast…" She murmured and lowered her head, letting her bangs fall over her eyes, so they were hidden from Temari and she didn't see the inconspicuous glances she darted at Naruto, who fortunately got the hint.

"She was buried under some boulders. It looked really bad for her and the baby. If it hadn't been for Sakura they would have both died." Naruto came to her rescue and at once drew Temari's attention to him.

"_Baby_?" She frowned at him, seeing his eyes widen slightly, before she turned back to Sayuri, whose cheeks were flushed a deep shade of pink and now Temari couldn't do anything but gape incredulously. At least for three seconds, once the initial surprise had passed, she burst out into uncontrollable laughter.

"Haha – no way! That explains then what you've been doing lately…" She laughed heartily, while Sayuri hoped for one of those monsters that were supposed to live under beds to show up and swallow her whole. Spare her all the embarrassment… It has been so much better as no one had known about it – as she hadn't known about it herself…

"I don't believe it! You and a mother?" Temari asked, brushing some laughing tears from her blue-green eyes.

"I know… it doesn't fit, right?" Sayuri grimaced slightly, seeing her own doubts reflected in Temari's words.

"It sure as hell doesn't!"

"Hey! You're my friend! You're supposed to say I'll do fine and so on…"Sayuri pouted, more feigned than not. Temari's teasing was really good to distract her from thinking about all these grave topics, and hearing about her pregnancy had apparently distracted the blonde from being mad at her. A win-win situation, which didn't change anything about the fact that this conversation still made her feel really uncomfortable.

"You want me to lie to you?" Temari raised an eyebrow, forcing back the sneer on her face.

"Well, sure! Is that asking too much?" Sayuri, too, raised an eyebrow in a challenging manner, trying hard to keep her face serious.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll do great. You'll be like super mommy. If I could, I would turn back into a baby and let you adopt me." Temari rolled her eyes and now the grin finally returned to her face.

"See? Now how hard was that?" Sayuri grinned back at her.

"Honestly?" A grimace appeared on her face but collapsed into a smirk then, at the sight of her opposite's expression.

"Better not… I'm not fit enough for honesty yet…" Sayuri heaved a deep sigh and dropped back into her pillows.

"Fair enough." Temari chuckled and suddenly everything was right again. Sayuri knew that she hasn't been serious and the worst thing about that was that she totally shared her opinion on her being a mother. As it was, she knew she wasn't up to the role, which is why she didn't want to think about it – she still had a couple of months left, right?

"So… Sasuke's the father, huh?"

"O-of course he is!" Sayuri stuttered quickly, feeling the heat rush into her face at once.

"Huh…" She exhaled loudly and gazed at the ceiling vacantly.

"What?" Sayuri eyed her sceptically, wondering what she was thinking about, after what she had just said.

"Don't know… it's just… he's not the kind of guy you can picture as a father…"

"Yeah… he's about as much of a father as I am a mother…" And back they were at the grave topics… _Great_.

"I bet they'll do fine." Naruto encouraged her with a warm smile on his face.

"You know, it's kind of rude to listen to other people's conversations." Temari frowned at the Leaf-ninja, who at once sat up straight in his bed.

"Excluding someone – _that_ is rude!" He glared at the blonde kunoichi, who met his eyes with a rather amused look of her own.

"Maybe." She shrugged sticking out her tongue and before the Uzumaki could say anything else, she turned her back on him, excluding him again, which didn't fail to upset him.

"You know… my brother talks a lot about you…" Temari murmured and cast a stealthy look at the blonde. "You changed him, Uzumaki Naruto, but…" She clicked her tongue and gave the Uzumaki a once over. "I don't really get why."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto shrieked angrily and was at once shushed by a nurse, who wouldn't tolerate his volume – like they were in a library.

"Just sayin'… you don't seem as wise and so on as Gaara always portrays you…" She shrugged, while Naruto only watched her with an incredulous expression, not knowing what to say to that.

"Temari! You can't talk like that, he- well, he saved everyone and, you know…" Sayuri defended her friend, since he had done the same for her, too, but somehow he has been a little more successful about it…

"Calm down, I was just kidding – I heard what he did for Konoha. Taking on a whole group of Akatsuki by yourself, huh? – not bad…" She winked at Naruto, who merely looked proud again, having completely forgotten about the shaky start of this conversation and the rest of it passed off far friendlier and more casual with talk about how the new Konoha would look like and what they'd definitely need there. And just like that another day was killed and she still didn't miss him all that much…

…

…

In bed that night, Sayuri stared at the star speckled sky, through one of the small round windows lining the thick sandstone wall. The nights in Suna were really the only time, when the temperatures dropped a little and she was freezing much more than she did anyhow. The shivering made it hard to fall asleep, but that wasn't the only thing. She seemed to be sleeping all day, so it wasn't really surprising that she wasn't so very tired when they doused the lights and quieted the voices.

Not for long though. That was the thing that made it almost impossible to fall asleep.

There was this time when everything became very quiet. Right after the nurses announce bed-time, but that silence never lasted long. With so many people sleeping in a single room – dreaming in a single room – there were always sounds, mostly snoring, but also talking, screaming, crying. So often there were cries filling the air. The nights were haunted by disturbing symphonies, consisting of different variations of cries and screams – the kind of melody they had to play in hell. This ward was like a nightmare-factory.

Sharing one's fears in this way was a deep cut into everyone's privacy – a deep cut into everyone's psyche to bear witness to these subconscious expressions of anguish, so people pretended they didn't hear it.

Didn't hear the cries of the young girl, caught in a time warp, which made her see her brother's death over and over again.

Didn't hear the screams of the brave warrior, mistaking dream for reality, in which he had spent hours, buried under masses of rocks and wreckage, until he had finally held his last breath.

Didn't hear the pleas of the frightened teenage boy, seeped in eternal guilt, because he left behind his comrade to save his own life.

Didn't hear the resigned prayers of the old man, having accepted that he was going to die, and now begging for a higher being to take away his fear.

Didn't hear the desperate appeasements, of a man, subjected to his selfishness, which made him all too willing to sell out one of them to save himself, if only he could…

It was hard enough for everyone to cope with their own pain and so they turned deaf to that of others. It's not like they could do anything. There were too many people seeking comfort and if they didn't have it, how could they give it to someone else? At times when someone was too loud, when the screams threatened to wake up the whole ward, the nurses stepped in. They were really lax with distributing sleeping pills. And really strong ones that would haul you so deep into the sea of sleep that you were too far underwater for anyone to hear you, maybe too deep down even, to be able to dream in the first place.

Sayuri didn't know, since she hadn't yet taken them. She had three of them, hidden in the drawer of her bedside table. In case she should need them. In case her thoughts should threaten to take her on a path, she wasn't willing to tread. When the heart-rending cries of people having nightmares should lead her into a waking nightmare. Again. And that after she had only just escaped that place, or at least she had thought so…

It was comparatively quiet now, but that was worse even, because you always caught yourself holding your breath, waiting for a shrill cry to cut through the silence. Same as always. Only an hour ago, Sayuri had felt really tempted to take one of the sleeping pills, just so she could numb herself into not caring any longer about any sounds, about any miserable voices, about anything that might keep her from falling asleep in case it should occur.

Right now she was glad she had resisted the alluring call cooing out of her drawer, because if she had given in to it, she would have missed the quiet sobs, sounding like they were really close to her. They were different from the other sobs she heard in all these nights, in that they were subdued, repressed, barely loud enough to notice. Far more distinctive were the staccato-like breathing sounds and it was easy for her to locate their source.

"N-Naruto-kun?" Sayuri raised her voice quietly, and heard how the sounds died out all of a sudden, but she didn't get a response. She pulled back the curtain around her bed then, but the one around Naruto's bed was drawn, so she didn't see him, but the silence following her words was too profound to be unintended, which made her sure he was awake.

"What's the matter?" She asked, but all she got for a response was yet more silence, so she sat up, very slowly, so she wouldn't feel dizzy right away. She pulled back her blanket then and shuddered as her body was embraced by cold. This was the first time she actually saw the clothes they had dressed her in. It was the same grey shirt with the same white pants everyone else seemed to wear, too, but while her t-shirt was almost too tight, the cotton pants were far too wide. Her stomach really had grown hadn't it? She should have taken a look at herself, before assuming the baby was dead. As if she had ever done things the easy way…

"N-nothing…" She finally received a response, the very moment her bare feet touched the cold, tiled floor, but just because she was tired and her legs were about as shaky as Naruto's voice had sounded, didn't mean she'd actually buy that.

After taking a deep breath and bracing herself thoroughly for something as simple as getting up, she finally did so and first kept standing with her hands on her own mattress, trying to fathom if her legs would be able to carry her weight. After all she hadn't used them in a week and every bit of muscle she used to have must have turned into pudding in that time, but still that didn't keep her from covering the one metre to Naruto's bed. She wasn't afraid of getting caught. There were so many beds everywhere, and then they were all curtained, so they posed sufficient visual cover.

"I'll open the curtain now, okay?" Sayuri murmured, with her fingers already curled around a fold of the mint-green fabric that was greyed now by darkness. A couple of seconds passed without her receiving an answer, so once she thought she had waited long enough, she pulled back the curtain and looked at her team-mate, who was sitting in his bed.

"Hey – I warned you about leaving the bed, didn't I? You better watch out so no one sees you, those nurses can be really scary, you know?" Naruto smiled widely with his eyes closed, but she could still see red tracks on his cheeks and big teardrops adorning the corners of his eyes. He was really anything but a good actor.

"Why are you crying?" She asked tentatively, having hoped to the last second that she had been mistaken, because he was Naruto after all, he was like… a _hero_ – so what did he have to cry for?

"I'm not." He tried to refuse, but his smile slowly crumbled and he looked down then, realizing that it was pointless to deny the obvious. "I just… just thought back of something Jiraiya told me, you know…"

"Oh well, he has quite a temper and a quick tongue – he probably didn't mean it like-"

"-You don't know it, huh?" He interrupted her with a poignant quality to his voice.

"Huh?" She replied with the same sound, her voice only mirroring her lack of comprehension, though.

"He's dead."

"W-what?" Sayuri stammered with wide eyes, suddenly worried that her hands on Naruto's mattress wouldn't suffice to keep her standing. "B-but… you said… I thought everyone was revived again…"

"It happened much earlier. As we were still searching for Sasuke." The blonde squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, like that could actually force back the tears. "I knew that he went away, but he didn't tell me why. He didn't tell me he planned to infiltrate Akatsuki's headquarters all by himself. I wouldn't have let him go, if I had known…"

"Oh, Naruto…" Sayuri sighed commiseratively and curled her fingers tighter around the edge of the mattress, feeling even shakier on her legs. Knowing about Jiraiya's death was terrible enough, but imagining how Naruto had to feel made it much worse yet.

They've been so close to each other – after all they've been travelling together for nearly three years. He was like a grandfather to Naruto and he really looked up to him – in spite of calling him a pervert and all other sorts of things all the time. She wondered how Naruto had managed to keep that to himself all along. He had always seemed so cheerful, the way he had entertained more or less the whole ward with his stories. She had already despaired at the mere thought of maybe losing Sasuke, whereas Naruto had actually lost someone close to him. She admired his strength.

"I'm so, so sorry Naruto-kun…" She let her head fall between her shoulders, with watery eyes of her own, but it seemed hardly like she was in any position to cry now. Naruto has been much closer to Jiraiya and he did his best in holding his tears back, so what right did she have to start crying now and maybe end up with him having to comfort her, when he needed the comfort far more badly…

"Tze… it's not you who told him to act like a reckless idiot." Naruto hissed angrily, but with how shaky his voice sounded, it was hard to take him serious.

"He… he did it to protect the village and above all to protect you-"

"-I never asked him to!" Naruto interrupted her in a sharp tone, his volume causing the violet-haired girl to cringe slightly. "What does it matter why he did that? He is dead goddamnit! _**Dead**_!"

He pressed his eyes and lips firmly shut again and drew a shuddering breath through his nose, trying to calm himself again and not let any more tears escape, especially now that he wasn't alone. He really didn't want to cry – he wasn't sad but angry and now Sayuri got to suffer from it.

"I'm sorry…" He sighed and gazed to the side at Sayuri's lowered head and her overall crouched posture. "Hey – you okay?" He sat up, suddenly alarmed and especially he felt guilty for having screamed at her, like any of this was her fault.

"Hm." She nodded slightly, but not really convincingly. Even in the darkness he could see that she was trembling like a leaf and her breathing sounds weren't easy to miss either. "Guess I'm not as ready to leave the bed as you are…"

"You want me to get you back to your bed?"

"No… it's okay." Sayuri nodded to assure him she was okay and forced herself to stand straight. She didn't want to leave him alone now, it wouldn't feel right, and secretly, Naruto didn't want to be alone either.

"C'mon." He placed his hands on her shoulders and helped her up, before he moved to the side to make some space for her and now they were both lying here, with their eyes fastened on the ceiling and many words in mind, none of which seemed appropriate in the given situation.

"H-how did it happen…?" Sayuri asked tentatively. "Or if you don't want to talk about it…"

"No. He… he fought against the same guys who attacked Konoha. It was him against all six of them. And they were his former students…" Naruto explained in a low voice and drew Sayuri's startled gaze towards him, but he kept staring resolutely at the ceiling, seeing images reflected on it, he had never seen with his own eyes and yet they seemed so real, so cruel, so brutally detailed, as though he had been there himself as his sensei died.

"The guys you killed?"

"Hm." Naruto nodded grimly, thinking back of the conversation with Nagato. The moment in which he had told him that he had killed the Sannin. Everyone had known it, the whole village, but it had been Jiraiya's very own killer who told him about his death. They had neither told him about his mission, nor about his demise and he still felt a sense of resentment, of betrayal, because of their patronising behaviour.

"I just don't get why he didn't tell me about it…" Naruto's voice was shaken by the sobs he tried hard to hold back and his breath was coming so heavy now, it was easy to tell just how hard it was for him to hold back the tears and yet he did. He preferred torturing himself even more, just for the sake of not seeming weak. "Did he have so little trust in me that he thought I'd only get in his way? Why in the world did he even bother to train me, when he didn't even belief I was strong enough to fight by his side?"

"I don't think this had anything to do with trust." Sayuri murmured tentatively, choosing her words carefully, so she wouldn't end up upsetting Naruto any more, which didn't seem like an easy task. He was very touchy right now, which was understandable. "You were like a grandson to him. We always try to protect the people we love, don't we? It's easy to lose sight of reason, when you are afraid for someone. You should know that yourself."

Naruto was the first one to risk his life for the sake of someone else. Anyone – even people he didn't know, if only he thought they deserved to be saved. Jiraiya had been the same way, the only difference now was that for the first time things hadn't ended well for him. For the first time he hasn't been up to the task.

"But what am I supposed to do now?" He asked, despair seeping through his voice. "I can't just say: he did his best but it just wasn't good enough. This shouldn't have happened! There was no need for this to happen! If only he hadn't been so stubborn, he could still be alive. He could still run through the village and finish his next pervy book or he could have started writing something decent for a change…"

"… … Or he could hang around the hot springs and do his research…" Sayuri added meekly.

"Hm." Naruto gave a humourless laugh. "Or he could strain his back while trying to reach the magazines on the top shelf."

"Or he could get Tsunade drunk again and earn a slap in the face instead of a kiss."

"…" Naruto closed his eyes and exhaled loudly, looking far sadder all of a sudden than only a few seconds ago and Sayuri wondered what she had said. "I really thought the two of them would end up together… I mean… it's kind of a gross idea, but I still thought so… I can't believe she really sent him out on that mission…"

"…"

He was right. It didn't really sound like Tsunade to do that. She had a tough shell, but she was really always worried about everyone, but knowing that didn't change anything about what happened and it sure didn't help Naruto to cope with this loss. "Hey, care to get some advice from someone who spent the past weeks crying an ocean?"

"Hm…" Naruto turned his head to the side to look at her, with his brows furrowed in confusion. How very little he knew about what happened during the time she had been kidnapped…

"You know, it's totally okay to cry." Sayuri started, although she hadn't received a clear answer as to whether he wanted her advice or not. "I know how stupid that sounds, but there's a reason why we have tears, right? I mean why else should we be able to cry? Our body does it automatically and holding them back doesn't mean you've beaten them. They won't be going anywhere. All they do is add up there in your throat, until the lump grows so huge that you feel like you are suffocating. So better let them out from the start, don't you think?"

That wasn't so very much of a help either, at least not in the long turn, but for now, it just might help him to feel a little better. It would help him to breathe freely again and that was the first step to healing, wasn't it? While she had still been in the Akatsuki hideout she hasn't had any time to heal, so she wasn't quite sure. Had she healed at all? She hasn't paid much attention to it, while being here, and quite frankly she didn't want to. As it was, she was okay with the situation, she didn't want to think things over and over, until she had gotten to the point where she realized that it was anything but okay. That _she_ was anything but okay, so why not concentrate her energy on trying to fix Naruto up?

"…" The blonde didn't say anything, but she could hear his breathing quicken to a pace she knew far too well, but he was still holding back. "Have you ever seen Sasuke cry?"

He probably wanted to hear a _yes_ now, so he could also start crying, without feeling that he was the only one – her admittance of having cried through the past weeks didn't really count. She wasn't his rival. He didn't look up to her in the way he looked up to Sasuke. It was a really weird relationship between the two of them, a really complicated one, but after everything they had gone through that wasn't surprising.

"No." Sayuri sighed and perceived how Naruto held his breath, as though willing himself to be calm, when it would only make things worse in a couple of seconds, when he'd run out of air. "I don't think he can… He spent half his life trying to kill his emotions, trying to become strong enough to avenge his family… I don't think he can just turn that off… not yet anyway…"

But she hoped that one day he could. If only he could finally let go of what happened to him and his clan – that would make things so much easier for him – for _them_. Then they could just go back to Konoha and live among their friends, with their own family. He could become happy then – they both could…

"I wish he could…"

She hadn't meant to say that out loud, but in spite of how faint her voice was, Naruto heard her anyway and now turned his face to the side to look at the profile of Sayuri's face, the one half that wasn't covered with plasters and bandages. She was fully aware that he was watching her, but she didn't meet his eyes, he didn't need to see that she was close to tears as well and so she just squeezed her eyes shut and listened into the quietness of night, which was soon again interrupted by Naruto's rapid breathing. Unrestricted this time.

She let him cry in silence, without looking at him, without saying anything. All Sayuri did was reaching for Naruto's hand and holding it very tightly, just so that he knew he wasn't alone, although she doubted that her simple presence would be enough to distract him from perceiving the gaping hole Jiraiya's demise had left in his chest.

They lay like that for quite a while, in comfortable silence, even Naruto's quiet sobs died out after a short time and if it hadn't been for the warmth of his hand, Sayuri couldn't have told if he was there or not. She wondered if he had fallen asleep. But she didn't want to move in order to find out, for fear of waking him. However then the job was done for her by a cry that tore through the otherwise quiet room.

"I hate it when that happens." Naruto said in a clear voice, having noticed the jerk running through Sayuri's body at the sound and it carried on now. Someone was crying for help, but no one bothered to react. People had grown accustomed to ignoring the nightly noises, which would be quite bad in case it should come to an actual emergency.

Still it always reminded him of how it was back there in Konoha. Sayuri could be really glad that she hasn't witnessed any of it, whereas he remembered everything all too well. He remembered the time after it had been over and the salvage work started. He remembered the groups of people, starting to dig through the boulders always with their whistles at the ready.

One blow for a corpse.

Two for a living.

At the beginning there had been a lot of double sounds, and people had eagerly waited for them, always falling into each others arms at the blessed sounds, but after some time the second blow stayed out and still people were always waiting for it to come and started crying when it wouldn't. That's when the whistle had turned from a symbol of life to a symbol of death and he could still hear it all the time. At times he mistook the beeping of the machines for those very sounds and was again overcome by anticipation, by tension, by fear. He doubted that would go away any time soon, far too deep had these impressions burned into his memory. He wondered if he'd ever be able to forget it…

"You're awake, huh?" Sayuri raised her voice slightly, trying to drown out the terrible background noises. "Feeling any better?"

"Hmm…" Naruto gave a musing sound. "Better, yes…"

… _but not good._

"How about you?"

"Me?" Sayuri furrowed her brows in surprise, and gazed to the side, at once meeting Naruto's blue eyes in the semi-darkness. "I don't know." She rolled over on her side, resting her head on her hand, so she was facing the blonde directly. "I try not to think about it that way…"

_It would be devastating if I did…_

Naruto watched her for a while, but her gaze seemed to just go through him and he wondered what she was thinking about. He did have the slightest clue about the direction her thoughts might be taking.

"He is different."

Sayuri twitched briefly as he ripped her out of her thoughts and it took her a moment to grasp what he meant – although it was exactly what she had been thinking about, which made it kind of eerie. As though he had looked right into her head – the only bit of privacy there was in this ward or at least that's what she had thought up until a few seconds ago.

"Yeah… I noticed." She sighed, trying hard not to feel disappointed about not having seen him today. After all they were both here, far away from home without anything to do and while she had to stay in bed, he didn't, so how come he couldn't have spared the time for a simple visit? Just saying hi would have been nice… She understood that he might not feel like talking right now, especially not with how many people there were here, but it would have just been good to see him…

"But I don't know in how far." Naruto added and raised an eyebrow, hoping for his team-mate to have an explanation at hand.

"Me neither." She averted her eyes, not liking to admit her lack of knowledge. Their futures were so tightly woven together now and it made her feel helpless and scared not to know what was going on in his head.

"I mean he's like behaving almost normal again but-"

"-but it's like something is missing." She completed his sentence, having a clear image of Sasuke and his always so vacant eyes in mind. Eyes are the mirror of the soul aren't they? But in that case, his soul was empty, non-existent.

"Yes." Naruto nodded and squeezed Sayuri's hand reassuringly. He had only just noticed they've been holding hands the entire time, but it didn't feel odd. They both knew where they stood with each other, which made their relationship really easy, especially compared to others. That is why they didn't pull their hands away coyly and blushed because of not having realized the contact. At least one thing that wasn't complicated at the moment. Sayuri already dreaded the time when Naruto would go back to Konoha and she'd be left here all alone, with no one but Sasuke, but at the moment it hardly made any difference if he was there or not, since in thoughts he was always far, far away.

There was nothing more to add to this, but there was another thing Naruto had wanted to talk about all the time. Something that wasn't meant for everyone's ears and so he decided to seize this chance that he was all alone with his team-mate right away, although he didn't quite know how…

"I told you about my fight against Pain and about how Hinata came to help me, didn't I?"

"You mentioned it…" Sayuri smiled blandly, having heard that part at least a dozen times already.

"Hinata… she said she loved me." Naruto decided it was best to do this straightforwardly, but it was awkward. Thinking back of this situation… he couldn't even say how he felt about it – it was just awkward, confusing, unexpected…

"She finally confessed?" Sayuri propped herself up on her elbow, a disbelieving smile on her lips, whereas Naruto looked disbelieving, too, only without the smile.

"What _finally_? You knew it?"

"I think everyone knew. Except you that is…"

"Hold on a second, everyone knew and no one told me?" Naruto couldn't keep a trace of anger out of his voice. Everyone seemed to be hiding something from him. Even the people closest to him, whom he trusted unconditionally, and although this wasn't even nearly as bad as keeping Jiraiya's death secret from him, it nevertheless hurt.

"It would have been quite unfair if anyone told you, don't you think?" Sayuri asked, before a small grin spread on her face. "And then you would have only had to open your eyes to see it yourself. There were even bets on when you'd finally notice…"

"No way!" Naruto gaped at her. "Who?"

"Well… quite a lot of people actually…"

"You, too?"

"Ehem…" Sayuri grimaced and shifted her position uncomfortably, all too aware of Naruto's bewildered glare. "I gave you another year…"

"What? Even _you_? Who else? – did Sasuke bet, too?"

"Kind of…"

"What did he say?"

"Uhm… he said… well… never." Sayuri forced back a grin as she thought back of the situation as they had run into Ino and Kiba and they had proposed that bet after telling them about yet another Naruto-Hinata moment that had taken place earlier that day.

"What? That idiot – who does he think he is? Just wait till I get hold of him…" Naruto grumbled, giving Sayuri a hard time to keep a straight face. She wondered how he would have reacted if she had recited Sasuke's exact words and not given him this abridged version. "How come I didn't pick up on any of this?"

"Well… these aren't really things to mention when you're around." Sayuri shrugged simply, while the blonde didn't look too happy about her response, but nevertheless decided to let it be, after all there was something far more pressing to the whole matter.

"But what am I supposed to do now?" He asked, his voice gaining a higher pitch, whereas the corners of his eyes and his mouth seemed to be drawn down, as though he was melting.

Damn she had no idea. She wasn't good with dealing with those situations – neither when they concerned herself nor when they concerned others. He should find out for himself how he felt about her and then tell her regardless of how he'd decide – that would probably be the fairest thing, but then what if he decided against her? Hinata loved him so much – so, so much and it would break her heart to be rejected by him. To find out she wasn't good enough for the one person she sought to be acknowledged by more than anything. He couldn't do that to her. But why shouldn't he want her? She was probably the prettiest girl in the whole Leaf Village; she was kind, intelligent, not just a little shy though, but still…

"I don't know… What do you think of her?"

"I don't know…" He started off in the same way as Sayuri had and rolled on his back again, his eyes glued to the dark ceiling. "I never thought about her this way… she's just… Hinata, you know?"

_Just_ Hinata. Of course she's just Hinata, who else should she be? But she understood what he meant. It was hard to actually see someone who was doing her utmost not to be seen. Not seen. Not heard. Not remembered. That's what Hinata did – living a life in the shadows, almost like a ghost drifting through places full of people without being noticed, without ever bumping against anyone, without ever arousing attention. Sayuri had always thought that Hinata and her were the same. They rarely raised their voice. They rarely looked at faces, but at feet, shoes, legs – things that couldn't look back at you, judge you, see that you are not good enough. It was the fear of being deemed insufficient that they both had in common, but while Sayuri from time to time picked up the courage to raise her head, Hinata still hid herself between hunched shoulders.

"Yes… I know…"

…

…

The end of the week was nearing inevitably. In spite of how long the single days seemed, in retrospect time has literally flown by and while Sayuri was still confined to bed (but with bathroom privileges at least), Naruto and Sasuke were two days short of being officially discharged. She still didn't know what Sasuke would do then, the only things they ever talked about were topics initiated by Naruto and those mostly dealt with either Madara, Pain or once in a while stories about their old Genin team. About how it was as they had only become ninja and had to deal with cats and ostriches instead of men, who tried to destroy the world. Men who were quite capable of doing so. Those topics were much nicer than talking about how Madara might still be alive.

_He had hardly any chakra left and half his chest was already eaten up by Amaterasu, but he might still be alive._

She didn't think so. Or maybe she just didn't want to think so, but this was her stance on the matter anyway and she wouldn't change that because of some staunch pessimists. Actually just one pessimist and that was Sasuke – Naruto and Sasuke were the only people aside from her who knew about it, so there wasn't anyone else's opinion she could oppose to theirs. By now Sasuke was almost convinced that they hadn't been able to kill his relative, whereas Naruto shared her opinion on Sasuke being an incorrigible naysayer. As it was, from how he had been in the last days, it really wasn't surprising. Even if he had ripped Madara's heart out with his very own hands, he would have come up with theories about how he could have survived that. He just wasn't able to let go.

He always had this worried look about him. Something she had mistaken for vacancy, when it was much rather a mixture of both – he was worrying his mind out of his body. She had rarely ever seen him like this. The last time was back in Madara's headquarters still. He was probably worried about her, but more importantly he was worried about the baby and so was she. It wasn't so very long any more, until it would be born, just a couple of months, and they had practically nothing. No home, no clothes, no money, no plan.

The situation was scaring her and she wondered if Sasuke had noticed that. Wondered if he was fleeing from her, because he thought she expected him to find a solution to all their problems. He was placing that burden on his own shoulders and held her responsible for it, when in reality she'd gladly be there to help him. She wanted to have a say in their future, too. She just didn't want to address these topics while they were still here, permanently surrounded by people, who had nothing better to do than to gossip. But then what else was there to do here?

There weren't so very many people left of Konoha any more, but their left over places were occupied by people from Suna now, so it was never even close to being empty, although the nights were much quieter now.

Two more days and Naruto would be gone as well. That would be hardest. Naruto had been like her lifebuoy within this antiseptic ocean, her glimmer of light that distracted her from all these gloomy and hopeless people surrounding her. Naruto was like the sun. He was bright, warm and always there, clearly visible in the centre of things – this was a Narutocentric ward, all other patients seemed to be orbiting around him, like little, unimportant planets, longing for a share of his energy.

Sasuke on the other hand was like a distant star. His light was beautiful but pale and cold, too cold to reach her and although he was always there as well, he was withdrawn and it had to be night first in order to see him, sometimes it even took a telescope to spot him among all the other stars at all, but even if you did succeed in making him out, he was entirely inaccessible. Right about now it wouldn't make a difference if he was there or not.

There has been a time when he has been her sun…

So far, it has been a really exhausting day for Sayuri. They woke her up early in the morning, put her in a wheelchair and rolled her from one exam room to the next, making her miss breakfast, making her miss lunch and with how long she's had to wait in front of the single rooms each and every time, she was sure she would also miss dinner. Just like the first time she had done this examination-tour, two days after she had woken up.

Everything was going well so far. She had suffered a severe intracranial injury and they couldn't yet dismiss any after-effects, which is why she had to stay here so much longer. They even removed most of her bandages – all except for the ones covering her right arm and the one going around her head, where her skull had been fractured.

She has been shocked as she heard that, but well, she was feeling pretty good at the moment, so it can't have been too bad – leaving aside that it killed her. She did have a mild headache though, permanently actually and that in spite of her medication, so who knew how it would be without it, but she never told any of the doctors. It was one of the after-effects they were talking about, but it was nothing serious – nevertheless, if they knew about it they might want her to stay here even longer and _that_ she didn't want at all.

The baby was doing fine as well. The first time they had done all the check-ups, they had told her that the baby was uncommonly small for week 19 – it was only something around 12 centimetres long, when it should have been 15 and consequently it was also very light. Her first reaction to that had been being glad. She'd rather give birth to a tiny, little tangerine than a scarily huge watermelon and if it was small, she wouldn't have to run around with the physique of a sea cow. However once her doctor started carefully preparing her for possible difficulties and dangers, those advantages had stepped into the background. With how complicated her pregnancy had been so far, it couldn't be ruled out that the baby had taken damage from it, but it was too early still to tell for sure.

This time, as they had examined her again, Sayuri had already prepared for yet more bad news, had already seen that professionally compassionate look on her doctors face, but instead he had looked really excited. The baby had gone through a real growth spurt in the last days – it had grown nearly a full centimetre. At first it hadn't sounded too spectacular to her, but then keeping in mind that there have only been three days between the examinations…

"If it carries on growing like this you'll probably explode."

_Haha_.

If he's had any idea how serious she took him, he would have probably kept that one to himself, but as it was, he was far too excited to be considerate. He has done a couple of further tests then, while Sayuri had been busy to imagine how her stomach would burst open one day and a not so very tiny, little thing would jump out of it, fully clothed and already able to walk, talk and go on the potty. Now how much easier would that be?

He said many other things, especially often inserting the word _astounding or remarkable_ and then Sayuri was already rolled back to her ward and asked her nurse if she could keep sitting in the wheelchair. Tired as she was, she still had enough of that bed and the wheelchair allowed her at least a tiny bit of mobility and then she wouldn't go to sleep before she had eaten.

"So how did it go?" Naruto asked and leaned with his back against the wall with the windows, Sayuri was looking through.

"Pretty well." Sayuri said simply and averted her eyes from the glass, fed up with having to see her own reflection. She really didn't make much of a pretty sight. They should have kept the bandages around her head where they have been. Her right eye was still bloodshot and the right half of her face was mostly yellow, green and violet – a combination of haematomas and the ointments they had used to tread them. She hoped the windowpane was exaggerating a bit and she only looked half that bad. She doubted it, though – Naruto's reaction has been pretty telling and then she had seen more than enough people here, who looked pretty much the same way. The blonde was one of them.

"Good to hear." Naruto smiled. "Sasuke was here, you know, he wanted to see how you're doing."

"Really?"

"Well sure. He'll come around later again… Ha! Speaking of the devil." The blonde grinned as he caught sight of his team-mate, who made his way past some patients and nurses, who were buzzing through the ward like it was a theme park. There really wasn't much calmness here…

"That's what I call timing. She only just came back." Naruto informed the Uchiha, once he was in earshot and now his eyes found them and once they rested on Sayuri, he came to a brief halt, sizing her up from head to toe, before he resumed walking and covered the last bit of distance toward them.

"Hey…" She murmured hesitantly. She was always hesitant about everything she said or did when he was around lately. In spite of how much she always wanted him to come and be with her, once he was there, she only felt nervous and almost wished he was gone again.

Sasuke merely nodded at her in greeting, before his eyes switched to Naruto and he raised an eyebrow in an expectant manner and the blonde got the hint.

"Fine. I'll leave you two alone now." Naruto pushed himself off the wall and took a step towards Sasuke, placing a hand on his shoulder, before he mumbled under his breath: "Be nice to her, teme."

He narrowed his eyes slightly and so did Sasuke, neither of them willing to be the loser of this silent battle. Naruto had enough of Sasuke's standoffish behaviour – especially towards Sayuri. Even the two of them had exchanged more words than they had, and they were a couple after all, so it was all wrong. And Sayuri was well aware of that and she suffered from it – he knew that, because she had told him during one of their nightly discussions.

None of them backed down, but after a few seconds, Naruto dropped his hand again and walked past his team-mate at length, pulling at the curtain around Sayuri's bed in passing. Maybe having a bit more privacy would help Sasuke get over his inhibitions. If he heard any more complaints tonight, he would give him a proper roasting.

Once Naruto was out of sight, Sasuke walked to stand at the window beside Sayuri, right where Naruto had stood before and Sayuri eyed him anxiously, waiting for him to say or do anything. There had to be a reason why he was here, otherwise he wouldn't have sent Naruto away. They haven't been among themselves, since the day she had woken up and once again she was reminded of why: it was awfully tense.

"Does it hurt?" His voice sounded raspy, like a long-unused instrument, as it crept through the heavy silence, lingering between them, so heavy in fact, that it left them almost unaware of being anywhere but at a quiet place.

"No." She shook her head slowly and lowered her eyes, blushing slightly. So it looked really as bad as she had thought, huh?

She twitched slightly, as she felt a subtle pressure on her cheek, and as she raised her gaze again, she saw that it was Sasuke's hand, apparently checking if she was telling the truth.

"I'm good, really…" Sayuri forced the corners of her mouth to lift in a smile, but they felt so heavy, her whole face did, so she wasn't sure if she was successful, her eyes surely didn't smile.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded and trailed his hand down the curve of her face, before it dropped to his side again. "What did the doctor say?"

"Well… The doctor said I will explode."

"What?" Sasuke furrowed his brows, while Sayuri couldn't help grinning – earnestly this time.

"The baby. It's growing really fast, you know?" She explained and watched Sasuke's expression going back to neutral, or maybe not, he looked kind of suspicious.

"More than is usual?" Sasuke asked, keeping in mind what they had said about Pain – he sure didn't like this piece of information.

"Yes." Sayuri nodded, still torn between seeing it as a good thing or a bad one – the image of an exploding stomach was really haunting her. "I mean… not entirely unusual, it's not like he's never seen it before, but it's not really common. But he said that the first part of my pregnancy was so… _difficult_, that it slowed down the baby's growth, but now that I'm doing better it picks up on that again."

"…" Sasuke nodded and pressed his lips into a thin line, his gaze straying off to the window.

And gone he was again. In one moment he was here, talking to her and in the blink of an eye he was suddenly somewhere else, at some place where she couldn't follow, because she had no idea where it was. But judging from the shadows invading his eyes, it couldn't be a nice place.

"Hey…" She raised her voice softly, but he didn't react, so she hesitantly reached her hand up and closed it around his. Having her guard up, just to be on the safe side, even her shoulders were hunched, as though she expected getting hit and Sasuke didn't fail to notice that, as she finally succeeded in catching his attention.

"It's a good thing, isn't it?" She asked cautiously and became a bit more daring as he didn't take his hand away and so she held it a little tighter and raised her head enough to look straight into his dark eyes. He nodded slightly and held her gaze for a long moment, but then he lowered his head and stared at something behind her, maybe seeing the beautifully coloured sky that would soon enough cloak itself in black silk, maybe blind for anything happening beyond his mind.

"…Why aren't you mad at me?" He asked in a low voice that lowered even further as he added: "After everything I've done…"

So this was what this was all about? They were finally getting to the crux of the matter. He couldn't forgive her for having forgiven him. Just because he couldn't forgive himself.

"Who tells you I'm not?" Sayuri asked slowly and observed his reaction cautiously.

"Hmpf." He snorted and raised his hand and with that also Sayuri's, since she was still holding it.

He was right. She was disappointed and all, but she couldn't get herself to be seriously mad at him. Especially not after everything that happened… She had watched long enough what his anger had done to Sasuke. Had seen it eat him up little by little without being able to do anything about it – maybe without even trying… And she couldn't give in to the same monster that had nearly caused Sasuke's downfall.

How could she hold on to anger, when she had her hands full with holding everything together? With holding on to him as tightly as she could, trying her best to keep him with her, because as Karin had said, it took far too little to lose your special someone forever.

"I guess I just don't know how…" She shrugged and watched Sasuke's eyes become sharply focused, fully concentrated on the here and now and not the proceedings inside his head.

"Tze… quite the pair we make…" He sighed and closed his lids to conceal the sudden clarity in his eyes.

Sayuri had no idea what he was talking about, but she couldn't help but dislike the direction this was taking and so it was with a lot of overcoming that she raised her voice again. "Are you… are you mad at _me_…?"

"…" He opened his eyes slowly and tilted his head just a fraction to look directly into Sayuri's eyes, and suddenly she didn't want to hear his answer any more. It's not like his face gave anything away of what he was going to say. She received no discernible non-verbal signals from him and yet she had a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Maybe it was the knowledge that he was very well capable, maybe even likely, to say things that would leave her hurting and she's been hurting enough lately. She had enough of it. She wondered how she could be so desperately in love with a man who was hurting her all the time. But then that was the point, because if she didn't love him so much, he wouldn't have the power to hurt her the way he did. Then she wouldn't bother with finding excuses why he didn't visit her. Then she wouldn't lie in bed at night and wonder what she had done to deserve his silence, wonder if he was maybe thinking about her, too. At least from time to time.

"Do you have the impression that I am?" He asked cautiously, evading a clear answer to her question, but his eyes were sharp again now, though not in the same way as before.

"Is there a reason for me to feel that way?" Sayuri countered his question with yet another question.

"I don't think I'm in any position to tell you what to do."

"What…?" Sayuri gulped audibly, smitten by a really bad feeling now. Sasuke loved bossing people around; he always tried to tell her what to do, so how come he didn't now? How come he didn't even bother to try?

"I'll be discharged from hospital the day after tomorrow." Sasuke said calmly, his eyes fastened on the windowpane again and the clear reflection of what was going on in the room behind him.

"I know…"

"I'll go to Sora-ku."

"Huh?" She jerked her head around abruptly and, having noticed her movement, Sasuke turned his face to meet her eyes, looking so unnervingly indifferent, that Sayuri couldn't help but assume the worst. "Y-you'll just… leave me here?"

A sudden surge of adrenaline shot through her body, but not the good kind of adrenaline, this sure wasn't related to positive excitement, but rather to panic, as she once again found herself at the fringes of the little world they had created together and just waited for him to kick her over the edge and into the nether land of loneliness.

"No." He shook his head slowly. "You are pregnant…"

"…and if I wasn't?" She sat up stiffly, almost as though she meant to jump out of the wheelchair, and although she really did feel the urge to run, to flee somewhere where his words wouldn't reach her, she kept sitting where she was, wondering how Sasuke's hand could be so warm, when all he said was cold. When his silence was even colder.

"…"

"Wow." She said in a toneless voice and gazed to the side. Her eyes filled with tears and she pulled her hand away quickly, pressing both her clenched fists into her lap as if to warm them, when what she really wanted was to slam them into his face.

"You're better off without me." He said in a softer voice, the sight of her even enhancing these feelings of guilt that were haunting him day in day out, but he was only speaking the truth. Depending on the outcome, Tsunade might make him a nuke-nin after all and then he'd have to flee. He knew that Sayuri wanted to go back to Konoha, but he couldn't – nuke-nin or not, and since they were having a baby he would drag her with him – whether she wanted to or not. He'd force his life on her, because there wasn't anything else he could do. He couldn't leave her. He knew that he couldn't, but if it hadn't been for the baby, he might have at least tried. He'd like to imagine that he might have been strong enough to beat his selfishness and actually do it.

"Don't you think that is something I have to decide for myself?" Sayuri asked, trying to keep her voice steady, but she was already running out of air from her endeavours to not start crying. It felt as if the room was closing in on her.

"Just look at yourself." Sasuke reached out to touch her wounded cheek again, but then stopped short, the moment before he would have touched her skin, she could already feel the warmth of him, but then he dropped his hand and it was gone again. "You nearly died Sayuri." His voice became a little louder and now he drew Sayuri's gaze back to him, her sad expression now also invaded by surprise.

"You were already dead." His voice lowered again and now he was evading her eyes, not bearing to see that terribly naked look in them. He must have been mistaken about the strength of her defences. Whereas he was hiding himself within impenetrable walls of thick masonry, she was sitting in a box of glass that didn't even succeed in keeping her feelings hidden, much less shield her from anything in the outside world.

He had nearly lost her and now he was risking to lose her again, but he has become far too attached to her. Just the thought of holding her lifeless body in his arms, the fear of watching Sakura lean over her, discovering ever new injuries and then telling him with tears in her eyes that she wasn't sure if she could save her.

What would he have done if she had really died? He had gone through it before. And that pain… he never wanted to experience it again. That is why he hadn't meant to make any bonds to anyone, until he'd be strong enough to protect them. Actually he had thought he had reached that point already.

Now he knew that he hasn't.

How foolish of him to think he could actually look after a family. He couldn't even look after himself.

"…but I'm not…" Sayuri murmured, her voice still thick with tears. She wondered if she was only seeing what she wanted to see, but still she was sure she had been right, and he really was feeling guilty. He clearly looked and sounded like that and now she barely felt sad for herself any longer, but rather for him; for the no longer so small boy with the tragic past. Maybe she had been wrong all this time and he wasn't really fleeing from her. It rather seemed like he was fleeing from himself.

"You said you wouldn't let me, and you didn't, remember?"

"That wasn't my doing. If it hadn't been for Karin and Sakura I would have lost you both." Sasuke said calmly, seemingly unaffected and yet he still didn't look at her.

"What does it matter? No one ever said you had to do things all by yourself. It's not a shame to rely on other people."

"When you always rely on others, you won't be able to do anything by yourself, and what do you do then, when no one is there?"

"…It's not only about relying on other people…" Sayuri said thoughtfully. "You won't get weak when you have others rely on you as well… When you care about someone, you won't allow yourself to get weak…"

That's why she so persistently clung to him, because she cared too much about him to let go.

She reached for his hand again, watching his eyes follow her movement and then rest on their intertwined fingers and it was a little reassuring to feel him squeeze her hand back.

"You want to go back to Konoha, don't you?"

"Yes…" Sayuri nodded slowly. "…but not without you. It wouldn't be the same without you there."

"Hm…" He let out a weary sigh and looked down as Sayuri leaned her head against his stomach.

"So… you'll go to Sora-ku, huh?" Sayuri asked and closed her eyes lazily, as she felt how Sasuke placed a hand on her shoulder. She still didn't really understand what he wanted to do there and in how far he wouldn't leave her, when he was clearly going away. "Isn't that where the cats live?"

"Yes."

"What do you want there?"

"My clan stored many items within the city. Mainly weapons, but also money." They apparently never really trusted Konoha. "We'll need the money to get by."

"So you only get the money and come right back then?"

"Hn."

"Okay." Sayuri wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his thin shirt, inhaling the pleasant scent of him, with a small smile curling her lips up, as she felt how he rested his hands on her shoulder blades. He seemed a little stiff, but he was trying and although it wasn't much, his tiny gesture reassured her.

That was all she wanted. They really didn't have to talk all that much, as long as she could only hold him like this from time to time. She wanted to fall asleep next to him and wake up to the smell of him each morning. A rather unrealistic idea of a relationship, but then right now this was the tiny bubble of comfort she needed to get through this time.

…

…

It was the last day now, or not even so much… It were the last hours that Naruto and Sasuke had to stay here in Suna's hospital. Right after lunch they'd be discharged. Then Naruto would go to Konoha and help the village regain its old glory and Sasuke would go to Sora-ku to make sure they had the sufficient means to afford a life here in the Hidden Sand.

They had decided they would stay here at first, at least until the baby was born. That gave them enough time to think about what they'd do afterwards. Maybe if they liked it here, they would stay (although she rather doubted it) or they'd go somewhere entirely different. She was actually sure that that was what he wanted to do – go somewhere really, really far away, where no one would find them – but for now he left her the illusion that they might stay among people they knew.

He has become a little more accessible lately, but only a little. After their conversation, it became a little easier to breathe around him. The negative, repelling air around him had let through some oxygen, which must have blown away a bit of his standoffish attitude and he had staid with her almost the whole remaining time, even now he was here, too. Mainly physically though, he barely spoke and stared out of the window most of the time, but now and then he dropped in a comment to Naruto's incessant babbling or he came to sit at her bed and hushed messages to her without ever parting his lips.

Right now Sasuke was standing at the window though, letting the hot beams of the June sun burn on his skin, in spite of the glass filter, and Naruto was lying on his bed with his arms crossed underneath his head, his mouth opening and closing, as he shot out streams of words without interruption. She wondered if he even breathed in between.

"I really wonder how it looks there now… I bet they are already halfway done with the construction work…" Naruto mused and carried on rambling about Konoha and how he couldn't wait to get home and see everyone again. He was really cheerful. His eyes always trailed off to the clock on the wall, probably counting the minutes until he could finally leave. He was talking so much about how he'd built up a really fancy new house –no a castle- for himself and also for them right next to his, so they could be neighbours.

Sayuri only nodded all the time and smiled at him, while she had a hard time to not start crying. She didn't have the heart to tell him that they wouldn't return. Maybe because once she spoke it out that would make it real. _Definitely_. And secretly she still hoped for a way to change Sasuke's mind, despite knowing how unrealistic that was. After all it had been her, who had proposed to start a completely new life, far off from everyone they knew, back then as they had still been in Madara's headquarters, and he took her up on her word.

"Theoretically we could build up whatever we want to. There's so much space now! We could build some entirely new high-tech trainings grounds or a swimming pool – or a theme park! Like a really big one!" Naruto laughed, imagining the new Konoha as a very colourful place with various odd shapes and angles everywhere, like a mixture of the land of milk and honey, a toy shop and an amusement park, combined with a military training area.

"Isn't Konoha supposed to be a Hidden Village?" Sayuri asked with a mild grin on her face.

"Yeah, well… We'll just raise the walls around it a little higher and it should do." Naruto shrugged and started chuckling as Sayuri did, too. However not for long, as a sharp gasp forced her mouth open.

"Sayuri-chan?" Naruto sat up and watched a shocked expression appear on his team-mate's face, while she led her hands down to her stomach and he couldn't help but feel a little alarmed because of her expression, but then so did Sasuke apparently, too, at least he clearly looked that way.

"What is it?" The Uchiha asked, but Sayuri just turned to him with big eyes and then lifted a hand to wave him towards her.

"Oh my God, come here!" She rushed him and at once reached for his hand, as he was close enough and put it on her stomach then.

"Damn…" She hissed and sucked in her bottom lip, while she led Sasuke's hand over her belly, but that didn't change anything.

She had been sure she had felt it, and not too lightly. It had felt like someone was poking her softly, but clearly perceptibly. Had she only imagined that? Maybe she had just moved in the wrong way or laughed too hard, or what if she had just eaten something wrong…?

"Did you feel something?" Naruto asked curiously, while Sayuri twitched all of a sudden.

"There! You felt that?" She smiled at the dark-haired man, her heart skipping a beat with excitement.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded with the weirdest expression on his face – like he attempted to smile, but his lips just wouldn't go along with it. Nevertheless she clearly recognised the intention behind his mimic and that made her even happier, very much so… Then he leaned forward to kiss Sayuri's beaming face, looking almost as surprised about his own action as she did, once he pulled back again, but the confusion soon yielded to an even wider smile.

"No way! You can actually feel it through your stomach? What's it like?" Naruto asked, looking about as excited as Sayuri did.

"Just come on!" She reached her hand out to him and Naruto literally jumped out of his bed and leaped straight towards hers. Sasuke took his hand away and now Sayuri put Naruto's hand to the spot where they had felt it kick before, but again the demonstration effect set in and nothing really happened.

"Well I don't want to ruin the mood or anything, but I don't feel anything." Naruto shrugged, before a mocking grin appeared on his face, as he turned his attention towards Sasuke. "You have a little weakling there huh? – Oh no there! And again! Okay, I take everything back…"

The blonde fell quiet again and waited for it to do something else, but it didn't, so he became a little impatient.

"Hey you in there – do something!" He knocked on her stomach like it was an aquarium, but then twitched as he really did feel something. "Hah! I can't believe that worked!

"Wow, Naruto… It either really likes your voice or just can't stand to hear you talking…" Sayuri giggled and ran a hand across her belly herself.

"Understandable, like anyone else could…" Sasuke sighed and at once caused Naruto to raise his head.

"Teme!" He shrieked, but saw that Sasuke's full attention was focussed on Sayuri and she beamed back at him like a little girl on her birthday.

"Wow, if you smile any harder your face will crack in two." He crossed his arms behind his head and grinned at his team-mates, really glad to see them like this together, especially after how tense things had been between them at the beginning. He's really had some qualms about leaving them alone here, but now he could go to Konoha without feeling guilty for it. "Now there's only Sakura-chan missing and then we'd be complete again – back as Team 7, but I guess I'm glad she's not here - I mean it's not like I wouldn't want her here, but… if she were here then that meant she had gotten injured, too and I don't want that…"

"Hm." Sayuri nodded. She owed her life and that of her baby to Sakura –and Karin- she had no idea how she could ever repay them for that.

"There the food is coming!" Naruto exclaimed, as he perceived the familiar rattling of dishes and glasses. "Guess it's goodbye, soon…"

They all fell silent for a moment, although they had seen it coming, it still came a bit sudden that their ways would really part for now. Naruto wasn't even aware that they might not ever cross again, but none of them would fill him in. Sayuri wasn't strong enough for it. Sasuke wanted to make sure he wouldn't try to hold them back.

"I'll need to go back to my own bed." Sasuke said after a moment, before he ran his hand through Sayuri's hair, drawing her gaze back to him. "You'll be okay by yourself?"

So this was it now. She'd spend the next days all alone here. Sasuke would set out together with Naruto (and a group of ANBU to make sure he wasn't up to something), on foot and no longer with the transportation jutsu, since most of the people had returned to Konoha already, so they no longer bothered to keep it up. They had almost the same way to go, and it would take him over a week to get back here, which was an awfully long time for someone who wasn't really allowed to do anything but lie in bed, but with how things were going at the moment, she would somehow make it through that time…

"Yes, I'll be fine." Sayuri nodded, for the first time since she was here actually believing so.

…

…


	45. Loneliness

**45. Loneliness**

A gentle, pastel-coloured sunset was beginning to wash the glaring blue out of the sky, bringing down the temperatures to almost bearable levels. This was the time when Suna's streets were the fullest, because it was the only time, when you could actually walk down the street without breaking a sweat.

It was September already and it was so hot during the daytime hours that if you dropped a raw egg on the pavement, it would be ready to be eaten, once you picked it up. People were only coming out early in the morning and late in the evening and stayed up then into the middle of the night – even the children did, although not just as long…

Sayuri was sure that people were sleeping in the meantime, at least that's what she did, but what were they doing at night then? The days here were longer alright, but there hasn't been a complete shift of public life into the hours of night. The shops were only open until 10 p.m., solely restaurants and pubs had no fixed closing hours.

Life here in Suna had a completely different dynamic, from how it was in Konoha and Sayuri still hadn't grown used to it. But then she had only been discharged from hospital about two weeks ago, after having stayed there for nearly two months. Actually they had meant to keep her there even longer, but she had vehemently refused. She would have died of boredom, if she had stayed there any longer.

Not that life outside of it was so much more exciting…

There have been a few conditions under which they had allowed her to leave. For once she had to keep a meticulous diary on everything concerning her pregnancy. Every time she felt the baby move or not move in an unusual way, all the accompanying symptoms like nausea (every morning), hot flashes (all day), headaches (permanently), backaches (very rarely and only lightly), urinary frequencies (almost every full hour), sleeping habits (differing between far too much sleep and no sleep, mainly because of the previous point), cramps (not yet), exhaustion (often enough), weight gain (6 kilo already!) and also a food protocol. Aside from that she had to show up in hospital every week and she was supposed to get sufficient exercise, but not too much, with too much being everything that exceeded walking 500 metres at a stretch and in the meantime she was supposed to lie down – not that she minded these restrictions…

The baby was doing really well at the moment, although it was still a bit smaller than it should be at this stage of pregnancy… but it was really active; there was hardly an hour in which she couldn't feel it press and kick against the insides of her apparently still too small stomach, which made falling asleep really hard most of the time. Nevertheless, every single member of the permanently changing cadre of her doctors and midwives was still of the opinion that hers was or might be a risk pregnancy and so she wasn't allowed to do anything that exhausted or upset her. Not like avoiding these things was even remotely possible. She was already exhausted when she woke up and took the first step out of bed – at least every second day and with her mood swings, she was getting upset by even the tiniest things, like a fly in her soup or sand between her teeth…

Same as every day at this very hour, Sayuri was on one of her two daily strolls, always alone and same as always her feet carried her to a playground, about twice the distance away from her flat than she was actually allowed to walk – what a rebel she was…

Her life had become one of routine. Same as she always walked to the same playground with the old, wooden playthings and the largest sandbox she has ever seen (it sprawled through the whole village!), she always sat down on the very same bench, with the small heart carved into the seating surface.

The bench of lonely hearts. No wonder she always ended up sitting here.

Same as every day she had a book with her, she pretended to read. From time to time she actually did read a passage or two, but most often she was stealthily watching the people around her, over the edges of the pages. All those real mothers…

Especially those with a pram caught her attention in particular. She studied the way they shoved their carriage back and forth, made a mental note as to how they jiggled it, when their little darlings with the big voices woke up and cried, she even counted the seconds they dared to avert their eyes from the contents of their carriage. The longest she ever counted was forty seconds, most often it was less.

The majority of these women had books or magazines with them as well, but she had rarely ever seen them turn the pages, too busy were they with switching their eyes from side to side, like they were watching a tennis match, or maybe almost invisible germs that prepared to attack their defenceless offspring.

Sayuri could barely imagine that she would be like that too, but then she was already sitting here, looking at people and their actions, rather than at the calm black letters on the yellowish pages of her book – how would it be when the baby was actually born and she had an actual, tangible reason to not be able to concentrate on her reading?

She told herself she was reading enough already. She hardly did anything else when she was in her tiny flat. She only read, ate and studied. With how things were, she doubted she'd be able to re-enter her career as ninja in the next…_year_? She didn't even know how long it would take, but she didn't plan to use that time with doing nothing. She didn't think she was even able to do nothing. It made her feel useless or like she was missing out on something, when she only sat at home without any proper occupation. That is why she had decided to focus on her medical career.

Two years ago, as she had finished the basic medical education under Tsunade, she had decided against that. Against working on any specialisation and against working full time in the hospital. She had always wanted to be a ninja and get around, see something of the world. Now she'd have to choose the other way after all.

As she had done a tour through the really impressive greenhouses of Suna-Gakure, she had realized that what they knew in Konoha about ointments and herbal remedies, exceeded the knowledge of most medics here by far. So she shared her knowledge, while they in turn introduced her into the art of making poisons – something the Hidden Sand was famous for.

That is where the first of her two daily strolls took her. Every day at 8 a.m. she stood in front of the greenhouses, mentally leaping for joy at the thought of entering one of these very well air-conditioned buildings. If it was up to her, she'd probably spent the whole day there, but they wouldn't allow her, because they knew about her condition (it's not like she could keep it secret any longer) and they must have also heard the stupid rumour about how pregnant women needed a lot of rest.

"Excuse me. Is this seat taken?"

Sayuri lowered her book to see a man and a woman – from how they were holding hands, a couple – stand in front of her, pointing at the remaining stretch of the lonely hearts bench, no one had ever yet asked to occupy. After all, what would be lonely about this bench when there were three people crowding on it?

"Oh no." Sayuri shook her head quickly and offered the two people a smile. "I was just about to leave anyway."

"We don't mean to drive you away. Please stay here if you want to."

"No, really. It's getting late. I better go- _back_." She couldn't bring herself to say home. Nice as this place was and welcome as she felt here, it still didn't seem like home. Everything was too unfamiliar for that.

Sayuri clasped her book shut and squeezed it back into her bag, before she rose to her feet and was just about to wish the unknown couple a nice evening when she was pre-empted by something like a shriek, causing her to cringe reflexively.

"Oh, you're having a baby, aren't you?" The woman clasped her hands in front of her mouth and Sayuri could feel the heat rush into her face. This wasn't the first time she received such a scandalised reaction about hearing that she was expecting.

She hated it. She hated that people only had to look at her in order to know and still that woman stared at her with huge question marks in her eyes, apparently waiting for her to confirm the obvious.

"Hm." Sayuri nodded, taking a stab at sounding indifferent. She really had put on a thick skin lately, if she hadn't, she wouldn't be able to even walk down the street without thinking that everyone was watching her and wanting to sink into the ground because of it.

"We are pregnant, too!" The cheerful soul lowered her hands again and gave her the widest of smiles, as she proclaimed the happy news, but she didn't really receive the reaction she had expected.

"_We_?" Sayuri stared at the man incredulously and watched him nod proudly, before he put an arm around his wife's waist (she saw the rings now) and pulled her closer. If you put both their smiles together, they'd be long enough to make a noose of them, at which she could hang herself.

"Uhm… that's really… good for you…" Sayuri grimaced awkwardly, not knowing what else to say. "I really need to go now. Good luck with your… you know…" She shrugged apologetically and tried to keep herself from rolling her eyes about her own stupid words and turned around quickly to flee from this nauseatingly happy couple. As of late, she had come to hate being among or just seeing such overly cheerful people. It always stirred something in her, she would rather not think about.

Her mood had reached rock bottom again, just like every time someone addressed her because of her conspicuous girth. It was really terrible at the moment. She had reached a stage of pregnancy in which she could pretty much wear whatever she wanted and she still felt like a huge balloon. She had seen pregnant women who looked much worse, her stomach was comparatively small, but comparatively small was still nothing but huge in relation to the rest of her.

She had gained a bit of weight during the last part of her pregnancy (but not as much as her doctors wanted her to) and not only at her stomach and breasts, but she nevertheless had a small frame, but even so, with the wide robes she was wearing, she actually thought she was pretty successful about covering it up.

It probably had something to do with the way she always placed her hands on her stomach, almost automatically. She just couldn't get used to it, but then it was growing and growing day in and day out, so it's not like she had a chance. Despite telling herself to keep her arms at her side, or wrapped around the bag she usually carried in front of her body as visual cover, she usually forgot about that and the moment that was the case, she felt like she was kicked into the spotlight – whether that was really the case or not was a completely different matter, but she still felt terribly watched and judged.

She just looked much younger than she actually was and people in Suna didn't know her and she was always given these looks, especially by older people. This stomach was taking away every bit of her privacy, it was like carrying the fact that she (has) had a sex life around with her and she didn't know if she was just prudish, but anyway she didn't want people to know. She would have never ever talked about such intimate things to anyone and would have actually denied them or at least refused to answer, in case someone should have ever asked her about it, but now that was no longer an option. There weren't many people who believed in immaculate conception and who was to blame them?

She commenced her way back, but stopped at the grocery store she frequented, mainly because it was on the other side of the street, which was really convenient, whenever she craved for the weirdest sorts of food, which didn't happen so very often. It were usually the same things, but she wanted them with an urgency, with a fervent desire that was almost scary.

"Hey little-big lady." The elderly shopkeeper greeted, without looking up from the magazine he was reading. "What is it today and shall I wrap it up for you or will you devour it right here?"

"Half and half." Sayuri shrugged with a grin on her face. She liked this man a lot, he had such a dry sense of humour and he never bothered to keep anything back; whatever ran through his head came right out of his mouth and that was a welcome change to all the subdued murmuring and the surreptitious looks.

She stayed there a little and even drank a tea with him and only as her bladder made itself felt, she gathered her purchases and left the shop. All the houses looked very alike each other; they were round with round windows, a few had a balcony, others not, and they were all made of the same adobe. At the beginning she's had quite some trouble with making out the house she was staying in, among all the other ones. It was one of the slightly bigger buildings, because there were more than just one family living in it, as was the case with most other houses.

She walked up the staircase, which appeared nearly endless, although it only spiralled into the third floor, which is also where she stayed. She entered the short corridor with the green carpet and looked at the three closed doors on the walls to her sides and the one in front of her. Her eyes lingered especially long on that one, her feet taking an indecisive step forward, but then she heaved a resigning sigh and turned to the door on her right instead.

The room on the other side was bathed in the amber glow of twilight, drifting through the small round windows that were supposed to keep most of the heat from getting past the thick brickwork. Not that it worked… The heated air in here seemed devoid of any oxygen, devoid of anything that would allow life here and Sayuri felt tempted to turn around and walk right back out, go somewhere where she could breathe freely.

But here she stood now, in this stifling vacuum with the deafening silence crashing in on her like an ocean wave, inhaling dust and sand particles that made her throat feel parchment dry. It didn't matter how often she let some air in; half an hour after she had closed the windows again, the atmosphere in here resembled that of an underground burial chamber in a long-forgotten pyramid.

The sun hadn't set completely yet, but it was definitely hotter in this room, than it was outside, so Sayuri felt it safe to open the windows already. After standing some time at the open windows, exhaling the more or less fresh air, she put away her groceries and then took off the long, light robe, she'd been wearing, in exchange for a simple top and shorts. Many people in Suna were wearing these plain, shapeless robes, but wide and plump as they were, they still didn't manage to conceal the fact that hers was meant to cover two persons.

Once she was done with everything and had taken an (almost) cold shower to refresh herself from these arduous deeds, Sayuri went out onto the balcony, where the temperatures were nearly agreeable by now and sat down on a cushion, she had placed between two of the pillars, that were lining the whole outer wall at a distance of a metre, taking away even more space of the already pretty narrow balcony that went around the whole upper floor and was shared by all the families here.

She dropped the two books she had taken with her and watched a slight cloud of dust and sand rise up at the impact, settling on her naked feet and the worn covers then. She wiggled her toes and brushed the sand away, while her eyes were intently focused on the covers of the two books, trying to decide which one she would read now.

The first one was about herbs and their uses (including medical use and use in combat!) and the second one was called: The complete book of pregnancy and childbirth – the title was telling enough…

And so, same as every night, she asked herself if she really wanted to know how exactly the whole giving-birth business passed off… She already knew more than enough to be genuinely scared and it's not like knowing the exact procedure in all its appalling details, would do her any good, the moment _it_ happened. She had enough trust in Suna's doctors; they sure knew what they were doing and wouldn't need her to give them instructions. _Hopefully_.

Herbs it was then. Probably the tenth book already, she choose over the pregnancy guide with the unsparing glossy prints that had given her quite some sleepless nights already.

She opened the thick, old book and held it so that the light drifting through the window behind her illuminated the pages and made it easier for her to read. Nevertheless, with every page she turned, her headache increased to a bothersome extent and her eyes felt strained and it was getting hard to keep them focused. That was one of the things that bothered her the most. Not that she had these headaches in the first place, but rather the fact that they practically made her favourite pastimes impossible – or not impossible, just painfully straining.

She's been prescribed painkillers, she took three times a day, but only about two hours afterwards they were practically ineffective. Fortunately she was a medic-nin though and as such, she was able to ease the pain by herself – at least to some extent.

That is what she did now, too. As the letters had already begun to swim across the pages in nonsensical imitations of words, she put a hand on her forehead and let her healing chakra engulf it, while a weary sigh escaped her lips.

"Don't you think it's enough for today?"

Sayuri twitched and raised her head quickly, which didn't help anything, since she still had her hand in front of her eyes, so she dropped it then, leading her gaze to the man, leaning against the metallic railing that was skirting the whole balcony.

"How long are you standing there already?" She asked, her voice sounding a bit blurry even to her own ears, but then she hadn't talked in quite some time.

"A while." Sasuke shrugged.

It's a result of years of training for a shinobi to not give any signs of their presence, to remain noiseless and be inconspicuous, when it was demanded. Some of these training results had turned into habits over the time, something they couldn't leave behind, even when this degree of caution wasn't needed.

"You could have said something…"

"Hn." He narrowed his eyes slightly, disapprovingly, and Sayuri knew him well enough to know exactly what he was thinking.

Same as it was a way of shinobi to not give away any indicators of their presence, it was also a habit of shinobi to never let their guard down and make out these seemingly non-present persons. She had been careless.

His covert criticism felt like a sting to her already aching head, but she had stopped complaining a long time ago. Sasuke didn't really know about her headaches or her morning sickness or anything else, not even that she felt lonely most of the time – she didn't yet feel comfortable enough around him to trouble him with her personal discontent. It was obvious that he felt no different, although probably for different reasons or maybe not, in which case they were not only tormenting themselves, but also each other, when it wouldn't be necessary. Things were too complicated still, they didn't take any complaints or laments and so she kept her mouth shut and acted like everything was okay. At least half the time that was actually the case even, but the other half… Well, she blamed it on the hormones, just like everything else, too.

Sayuri watched him turn his back on her, folding his arms on the railing, his eyes maybe wandering across the nightly scenery, or maybe they were focused on the proceedings within his head, as they so often were. He had really gone annoyingly introspective lately.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine."

That's how it always went; he asked how she felt and she said fine, when most often that wasn't the case, but he always bought her answer, after all it was exactly what he wanted to hear.

"When did you get back?"

"… an hour ago." Sasuke replied after quite some time, as terse as always, although not in a dismissive way.

He was rarely ever much of anything lately, he was just… he was… _different_. She couldn't even explain in how far. He wasn't as cold anymore, but he wasn't open either – it was more like he was little of anything at the moment. He had withdrawn farther away than ever before. Not really though… He always seemed absent and withdrawn and yet she not once caught him inattentive. She didn't know what exactly happened and what this was all about (except for guilt maybe?) – he wouldn't tell her – but it sure hadn't left him unaffected.

But then in a way he wasn't behaving so very different from before, only that it didn't come as natural anymore. He was behaving the way he thought he was supposed to behave – not because he wanted to, but because he felt like he had to – that was her theory anyway.

When he came back and kissed her, he didn't do so because he was glad to see her and wanted to show her that he missed her, but because he had always done so. She guessed he was trying to become the person he used to be again by taking up his old habits, but it just didn't work, in spite of how much he tried. Still it were these gestures, it was seeing that he really did try that kept her from giving him up. It was his own way of reaching out to her, but he didn't yet know how to hold her, how to accept her aid, how to realize that she was reaching out to him as well, but maybe she wasn't so very different from him. After all, she wasn't able to keep him close to her either…

She remembered his talk about starting completely anew and she had interpreted that as not moving in together right away, getting to know each other again step by step, maybe going on dates again and so on – start their relationship the way it was supposed to be. However the situation hadn't really allowed that. Apart from the baby of course, there was the fact that they were now in Suna, far away from home; a home that didn't even exist any longer.

As she had still been in hospital that had been fine, but once she had gotten out of there, she had needed a place to stay and Sasuke had at once wanted her to move in with him. In the flat he was staying in, only because of her. He didn't plan to go back to Konoha and so she was stuck here with him. And it was terrible – she didn't know if she'd survive this. Spending summer in the desert with hot flashes was really not recommendable…

With all that in mind, she had cautiously addressed the topic, of not moving in together, hoping she wouldn't offend him. She had been all too willing to change her mind, if only he had tried to make her change it (and secretly she had hoped he would), but he had only shrugged and let her have her way. In fact it seemed like he was the one benefiting from this arrangement the most.

He had a place to draw back, whenever he felt overwhelmed by her company and the remaining bit of time they were usually spending together, but it wasn't easy and demanded a lot of sensitivity. Things were so fragile, it was like a permanent walk over glass; a second of negligence might cause everything to shatter. So they were both careful and tried to withhold the weight of their words, their actions, out of fear what an inconsiderate remark, a too sudden movement might do to the frail remnants of a year of relationship.

They rarely ever behaved like a couple did, like they used to do only a few months ago, but rather like they were mere neighbours, which was actually the case even. He had obtained the flat next to his for her, so they were living by themselves, but not completely for themselves.

"How was the mission?" Sayuri asked and leaned back against the cold wall; even now that it was night, it was still far too warm for her taste.

"It was a simple scouting mission. Nothing special." Sasuke answered in a monotonous voice, still not turning around to her.

He hasn't found as much money in Sora-ku as he would have expected – mainly because with the ANBU monitoring him, he hadn't gone to the secret places, where many things apart from money were stored… Accordingly, they had needed a source of income, in order to earn a living here and pay for two flats, so he had turned to the Kazekage and asked to be allowed to do missions for the village and Gaara had consented. As a ninja of Suna-Gakure he didn't need to pay for their accommodations, so they were well off and could already save the money for what came after this.

Or at least she had thought it was a piece of good fortune, but he was always doing missions now, not because he had to, but because he wanted to. He needed something to keep his body busy, so he could give his mind a break, which is why she was alone here so very often. She wondered how he could ever think of settling down, when he was this restless.

"Soo… you'll have some days off now, won't you?" Sayuri asked tentatively, trying not to let any sparks of hope light up her basic attitude, which was set on pessimistic-mode at the moment – that just made things so much easier.

Now Sasuke did turn around, sizing her up carefully with his dark eyes and she wondered if he had any idea how she felt about his permanent absence.

"Not until Thursday."

It was Tuesday. And that only for about another ten minutes.

"Hmpf." Sayuri snorted dejectedly and stared off into the distance. In spite of not expecting anything from him it still hurt. By no stretch of the imagination could she believe that he was seriously unaware of how she felt about this. At times she even wondered if he did that on purpose. If he tried to draw her out of her shell this way, so she would finally stop acting indifferent and unaffected about everything and finally let out her feelings – her anger.

"…_this is my fault. You should hate me for what I did."_

"_Why aren't you mad at me?"_

-He had definitely implied that…

She had been sure it was better this way; that she was making it easier for him by giving him time and waiting for him to finally open up to her by himself, but maybe she was all wrong. Maybe he only waited for her to make the first step, to start kicking the bricks out of his defences, almost the way she wanted him to do as well. That was why she pushed him away, why she had wanted to live alone and start their new relationship the way it was supposed to be. Because she hoped that he'd miss her and come to her on his own accord, because she was sure that all her efforts would be useless, in case she wouldn't let him make the first step, if she would take any drastic actions before he was ready…

Maybe she just wanted to see him fight for her. Maybe she wanted to see if he was only with her because of the baby, but fact is, he didn't really do anything. He hadn't tried to make her move in with him after all, they didn't go on dates, they didn't really talk much, least of all about their feelings or their future. As it seemed they were both too busy with playing mind games that were too similar and passive to work out, to even realize that they weren't getting anywhere.

"Do you know what kind of mission yet?"

"Hn." He eyed her warily, not so sure what to make of her question.

"Will it be long?"

"About three or four days…"

"Oh… that is long…" Sayuri mumbled her voice softer than a whisper, because if it weren't she was sure he'd hear it shaking.

"Hmpf." He shrugged, still watching her dejected face with narrowed eyes. "Are you going to miss me?"

He didn't sound hopeful or expectant or anything, not even soft; it was just an assumption he now wanted to verify and Sayuri didn't quite now just how to reply. She had, after all, been missing him for months.

"I… I guess so."

"Hn." Sasuke nodded thoughtfully. "It's late. You should go to bed." He reached a hand out to her to help her to her feet, but Sayuri was hesitant to take it.

"B-but you only just came back." She murmured uncomfortably, taking the first, very small step away from the course she had pursued so far and a really small step it was…

"That doesn't change that it's late. You shouldn't even be sitting."

God – she wished he wouldn't know that. He was about just as bad as her doctors. She knew he was only worried, but that didn't change anything about the fact that it was annoying. The only things they seemed to talk about was her physical condition and what she was supposed to do and what not. He never talked about himself.

"That's not true. I'm officially allowed to walk around for a full hour each day."

"That hour is long over."

"How do you know?"

_You haven't been there._

"…" Sasuke only pressed his lips into a thin line, not having missed the reproachful tone in her voice.

Sayuri turned her eyes away then and drew a stuttered breath, trying to calm herself. Her moods were unpredictable at the moment, it wouldn't be surprising if she started crying or screaming now or often enough she just felt like pinching his cheeks – she _really_ wanted to do that for whatever reason – but up to now she has always managed to keep her self-control in front of Sasuke and she didn't plan to change that. She tried to spare him her emotional chaos. She didn't want to cling to him like a barnacle, no matter how much she needed him at the moment, how much she wanted to be with him – not least because she was afraid of drowning him in affection. Even the tiniest gestures seemed too much for him to cope with.

So she rather drowned herself in loneliness.

Often enough, she wanted to tell him something like: '_it's your fault that I'm pregnant, now see how you deal with my moods_.' He's been able to cope with them before, too, and if it shouldn't work now, then maybe they just weren't supposed to be. But the thing was, she was afraid of being left alone with the baby. Although she was perfectly sure by now that he wouldn't leave her (mainly because of the baby) she was still anxious about all this. Especially since, hard as she was trying already to be a pleasant person to be around, he was still so distant all the time and who knew how he'd behave if she actually gave him a reason to shun her so much… Being left alone in this situation scared her more than anything else.

"Move over."

She looked up and watched Sasuke raise an eyebrow expectantly. Although she was a little startled, she moved to the side then, until she was leaning against the cold pillar and then Sasuke slumped down next to her, his eyes fastened on the nearly full moon, whereas Sayuri's were studying his slightly lit features.

"Thank you." Sayuri whispered softly and eventually drew his gaze towards her.

"What for?"

"Hm." She shrugged, lowering her head.

Maybe he really didn't see what had become of them…

…

…

Most of the days passed in pretty much the same fashion.

Sayuri got up, went to the greenhouses and by nine o'clock she had already surpassed her permission to go out. Then she went home to sleep and once she woke up she went out again, most often with Temari. She was really glad that she had her here at least, with Sasuke alone, she would have long grown terribly, terribly lonely.

She knew she was being careless about disregarding her doctors' advice and that there was a reason why she was supposed to rest so much, but she had given much thought to it and come to the conclusion that dying of boredom would be even less favourable to both her and the baby, than a bit of walking around was.

Sasuke played only a very minor role in her life at the moment, except for being the reason why she was here in far away Suna, rather than at home. He was more like a neighbour and a nurse and most of all he was the reason for a lot of worrying and many a headache. And not only when he was there… At times she thought it was getting better – he did have his good moments now and then. He even kissed her the other day, just like that and not just on the cheek or the forehead, the way he usually did, but on the mouth, and she had been so taken by surprise that all she had been able to do was flinch, instead of seizing the moment and kissing him back.

It just wasn't so easy to be around him any more. He was always surrounded by heavy silences and it were rarely words, but rather small gestures they communicated with. She still didn't trust him the way she had before and this hasn't been the first time she caught herself shying away from his touch, when he caught her off guard, the way he at times did, too, although he was careful not to, she could see that. He said he'd give her time and acted like it was okay, but his eyes told her that it wasn't.

She didn't do that on purpose and he knew that, but that's what made it even worse… She didn't understand herself, same as she didn't understand him, so no wonder that she couldn't handle the situation. At times it even appeared as though she was distancing herself the same way as he did; maybe both their behaviour built up on each other, in which case they would never get back to being together the way they used to be, unless one of them would finally break out of the vicious circle. She would do so, if she wasn't too afraid of being mistaken.

Over the past months, from the moment on that Sasuke had met Madara, they had slowly but inexorably, become strangers to each other. As they had still been in Madara's headquarters or even later in hospital they had somehow managed to ignore that they were looking, speaking, behaving and even feeling differently than they used to, less and less familiar. They had needed these isolating walls around them to hold on to their past feelings, their past lives, but now that the whole world was open to them again, it seemed harder to be among themselves.

Three soft knocks sounded through the narrow corridor of the house they were living in. After having spent half the day in the greenhouses and the other half with sleeping through the hot hours of noon, Sayuri felt like having some company, now that it had gotten a little more bearable and she was theoretically well rested. Or more precisely she really wanted to see Sasuke. That was another thing about her pregnancy, she didn't simple feel like doing or eating something, but she wanted them with an urgency that made her feel like she would die if she didn't get her will. She was glad when this was finally over.

And here she stood now, with her fervent wish for some company, some affection; she just waited for the door to finally open, so she could leap right into Sasuke's arms and cover his face with kisses and then pinch his cheeks until he'd look like the Cheshire cat. The persistence with which the door remained shut, thwarted her unrealistic plans though.

She was just about to leave again, when the door opened after all, just a crack, so if she had actually meant to jump into his arms, she would have ended up with the edge of the door between her eyes.

"Hi…" She smiled awkwardly at what little of him she saw and now Sasuke opened the door completely and nodded at her in greeting. She didn't fail to notice the dark rings under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, or was he ill?

"Are you…okay?"

"Hn." He nodded, but the way he looked, didn't really support his response. "What is it?"

"Uhm… I was just wondering, if you have some time."

"No. I was just about to leave."

"Oh…" She gazed to the side, hardly able to hide her disappointment. "I didn't know you were assigned to another mission…"

"I'm not. I'm off to some training with Kankurô." He explained simply and Sayuri didn't know if she should feel even more disappointed about hearing that he rather spent what little time he had with someone other than her, or if she should feel glad that he was socialising a little, which wasn't exactly common for him. It definitely aroused her curiosity.

"Oh? How come?"

"He asked me to and I can do well with a training partner" Sasuke shrugged and looked over his shoulder before he added, "and I really need to go now."

"Mind if I come with you?" Sayuri asked hesitantly, once Sasuke had walked out and closed the door behind himself, and now he was eyeing her in a way that didn't speak for enthusiasm.

"Sayuri…" He sighed. "You know that you're supposed to take it easy…"

"Well, it's not like I want to train along with you and I've been sleeping all day, soo… please?" She smiled at him shyly, vaguely remembering a time when he had been the cause for her to grow more confident.

"…" Sasuke watched her closely, still seeming rather disapproving of her request, but after a while, as it had already become straining for Sayuri to keep her smile where it was, he sighed in resignation. "But you'll only sit there and watch."

"Uh-huh." She nodded eagerly and then they both walked off towards the Kazekage residence.

Sasuke with the intention of killing time in which he was alone with his thoughts.

Sayuri with the intention of killing time in which she was alone period.

…

…

In retrospect it hasn't been much of a good idea to go with him. Sayuri had wanted some company and at the beginning it had actually looked good about it. Sasuke had asked her about her day (despite having asked, his day was still a mystery to her) and then they had met up with Kankurô and had chatted, as they've walked to the training grounds together.

She liked Temari's brother most of the time; he had a weird sense of humour that was at times really inappropriate. Five out of ten jokes he cracked were either lame, offending or just embarrassing, especially whenever he had mentioned her pregnancy, which he had often done. But apart from his more or less humorous remarks, she much rather dealt with than Sasuke's silence, he had also asked what their plans were now and that's when it had become really tense.

Sayuri hadn't known what to say and Sasuke had only asked if he was there to talk or fight. They had reached the training ground then already and so Sasuke had successfully defused the situation. From then on, Sasuke had been able to channel all his thoughts on his training fight, whereas Sayuri had just sat there, at what Sasuke assumed to be a safe distance, and hasn't had enough to do to distract herself from Kankurô's actually harmless question. None of them had paid any attention to her from then on and she hadn't so much felt like she was having company, but even more secluded than before. The physical distance to them seemed representative of the emotional distance.

They had fought then; it really had almost exceeded normal training. In spite of how exhausted Sasuke had appeared, his performance hadn't suffered from it, or at least he hadn't allowed it to… She had picked up on how he began breathing somewhat heavier, after not even fifteen minutes. Maybe it had been the heat. Just sitting there on the ground without anything to lean against had already been quite a pain; she didn't want to imagine how they had to feel.

Still she envied them.

Although she had told Sasuke that she didn't want to train with them, that was exactly what she wanted – more than anything right now. The same way she always wanted something she didn't have, more than anything else. Fact was that she wasn't in the condition to do so and unfortunately she was aware of that. She has been far too reckless already anyway, before she had known about the baby and afterwards too, and by starting to train now she would probably push her luck a little. There were hardly more than two months left, which paradoxically seemed way too long, but also far too short, depending on how she thought about it. If she thought about all the things she couldn't do because of being pregnant, then it was definitely too long a time, but if she thought about how in two months from now, she would hold a small bundle in her arms, then it was scarily short.

And it's not like she could just return to her old life, once the baby was born. She doubted she'd have any free time to spare between all the feeding and the diaper changing and the despair about not being able to make her baby stop crying. God, she hoped it wouldn't be a screamer.

It was unfair.

He was the one who wanted the baby, but she was the one having to make all the sacrifices for it. She was the one who had to go through all that pregnancy stuff, she had to give up on basically everything and she was convinced that she would also be the one who'd be stuck with the baby all the time, while Sasuke went on fancy missions or did some training – with other people even, when she would be alone somewhere at a place where they wouldn't know a single person, and none of the people they knew would ever find them. Well, he wouldn't leave her entirely alone – she would have a tiny bundle of responsibility for company then and they would have profound discussions, carried out through crying, burping and screaming.

She wasn't good with approaching people and making new friends and she didn't want to, because she had friends. Good friends. Friends she'd sorely miss, but she would have been willing to give them up for Sasuke and their family, because she knew that she would miss him even more than them– much more – however not _this_ Sasuke, who wasn't really there to begin with. He was locked up in an impenetrable fortress he had built up himself, a fortress in which he had locked himself, locked his feelings up and although he was also the one in possession of the keys, he made no move to get out.

She needed him now, more than ever, but the more she needed the less he had to give. Although at times it seemed like he wanted to, but he just didn't know how and so he left it. She wondered if he was actually content with the situation as it was, because she certainly wasn't.

She wished she was more of a stronger person and less hesitant about whatever she did. If she were more like Temari or Ino, she wouldn't just put up with all that. She would call him on the carpet and nag on and on, until he would do whatever she wanted, just for the sake of silencing her. Maybe she should be a little more miserly about her silence and use it as punishment or reward and not as initial state.

Lonely as always, she lay here in the semi-darkness, interrupted only by the dull light of some distant street lanterns, crawling through the small, dirty window of her bedroom. The one with the spooky bed, that seemed to grow wider and wider whenever she slipped into it, until it touched the frame of the door and took up all the space in this claustrophobically small room, blocking the one exit there was (even if she wanted to, she wouldn't possibly fit through the window). Nevertheless the bed appeared huge to her and she felt lost within her distorted perception of this space, and she felt alone and tiny and insignificant, as she lay on these heavy pillows in this vast bed that was clearly meant for more than one person and yet she was always alone in it. Thinking about that caused it to grow even larger and yet more confining. Maybe she suffered from reverse claustrophobia…

Having company always left her feel this way. Being among other people, happy people, increased these feelings of being isolated and made her all too aware of how fleeting this was – the situation in which she still had company.

She felt stifled under the weight of these thoughts, their insecure future or maybe just the density of the hot, dusty air and in spite of it being late at night and her being tired, she could no longer stand to keep lying here and chase for sleep in the endless plains of the mattress. She wanted to flee; flee this lonely bed, flee this shape-shifting room, flee the life that was about to become hers, far too soon.

She put on a wide T-shirt and tiptoed out of the house, afraid that the building would turn back into the single grains of sand it was made of and crash down on top of her, like she was in an hour glass, burying her under what little time she still had left.

She only paused briefly in the corridor, listening to the TV talking behind Sasuke's closed door, loud enough for her to even pick up scraps of what the voices were talking about. Actually he has never been particularly fond of watching TV and neither has she. They had gone to the movies from time to time, usually with others, but that was about it. Now however, his TV was always on. It seemed like he couldn't bear silence, when that was the very thing accompanying him like his shadow; the very thing she couldn't bear either. Sayuri was sure that he left the TV on for the same reason that he always went on missions, or trained or did anything else – it was a means to distract himself from himself. Whenever the voices in his head became too loud, he turned up the volume, as to not hear himself think. It was so loud at times, it figured he was deaf.

The streets were entirely deserted and although the solitude was what she fled from, Sayuri was still glad about it. For the first time since she had come here, it was actually a little breezy and Sayuri could feel drifts of sand whip against her bare legs. Didn't she even have goosebumps? If she were in a different mood, she would have been really glad about this, but now it hardly seemed to matter; she still couldn't breathe. She was choking for months now and still she was alive. Oxygen was totally overrated.

She hasn't had any special place in mind, as she had started walking and yet it didn't come as a surprise that she found herself at one of Suna's playgrounds, which almost appeared ghastly, abandoned as it was here in the darkness. Instead of sitting down on her favourite bench, she took off her sandals and went to the swing, which squeaked as she rocked to and fro and around, with one foot always remaining on the ground, her toes buried in the cool sand, keeping her grounded, when she would much rather fly away from here.

It was actually a very calm and peaceful place, without the children around. Without all the laughter and the hustle and bustle. She could just sit here on the swing, listen to the eerie creaking of the rusted chains and look at the broken castle in the middle of the sandbox, like it was the remnant of an ancient pyramid, which had long succumbed to the malaise of time and would one day have vanished entirely; return to its initial state. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. She could pretend she was a part of a lost civilisation or pretend she was in a ghost town. Pretend she was a piece of the past as well and didn't need to worry about the future.

She hardly made it through five minutes until the worries returned. She wanted more, so much more, although she didn't know quite what. But there had to be more than silence and estrangement…

More depth and less superficiality.

More happiness and less distance, less routine, less fleeing.

Less pretence and more honesty in turn.

Many things weren't quite right, she couldn't even begin to fathom just how many. What she did know though was that she couldn't carry on like this. Their family, _they_, were nothing but a mirage. Their relationship was just like that castle in the sand, wasn't it? One simple kick from a little bully was enough to destroy the castle completely. How much or how little could their family take without giving in? If they didn't get a proper foundation, they were likely to crumble at the slightest commotion and if it didn't get any better… if it didn't get any better, would she even be sorry about it? At times she wondered if she was really in love with him, or if she was only in love with the idea of being in love or maybe the memory of him.

"It's three in the morning." A pause. "What are you doing here?"

Sayuri didn't bother to look up, as she perceived Sasuke's calm voice and eventually saw his silhouette appear at the edge of her vision. His steps didn't make any noise though, not even the sand crunched under his soles as he stepped into the sandbox and came to stand beside the wooden frame of the swing.

"How did you know I was gone?" Sayuri asked, her voice barely able to drown out the soft whooshing of the wind. Her eyes were still stuck on the crumbled castle in the sand.

"I heard you leave." He said after a while, his voice just as low as Sayuri's. "After five minutes I decided to search you."

He heard her leave in spite of the TV? – Apparently he wasn't deaf after all. He heard that she left the house, when she was careful about being quiet and she would say she had been rather successful about it, but he didn't hear when she sobbed her way through the night, without minding to hold back, because it's not like she could, once the dam broke.

"I see." Sayuri nodded and flinched slightly, as Sasuke's legs suddenly blocked her view, but she was used to looking at legs, wasn't she? They sure wouldn't display the disapproval, she would probably find in Sasuke's eyes.

"Why did you come here?" He asked again, sounding almost patient, when Sayuri was sure that that was the one thing he wasn't, but then she had run out of patience as well. She had given him three months already. Three months in which she had wordlessly humoured his silence. Three months in which she had put aside her own needs and tried her best to be the way he needed her to be. In spite of her efforts, nothing felt right. Not the way she felt around him, not the way she felt around herself, not the words they exchanged, not the way their kisses felt, not even the way they looked at each other. The situation was different, but they were still the same, everything was still the same and yet nothing seemed to amount to anything any longer. They were separate dots no one bothered to connect.

Could he really be unaware of all this? From the way he looked at times, she was sure he wasn't. She hoped he wasn't.

It was that tiny spark of hope that led her to take a deep breath, mentally bracing herself to finally quit playing games and put her cards on the table.

"I felt lonely…"

Just as expected her meek, but honest confession was followed by silence. The kind of silence that was able to drown out even an army of crying babies and her own baby was kicking her furiously now, reminding her that she was by no means alone, but that didn't change that she felt that way.

"Why didn't you come to me then?" Sasuke murmured after some time, while burying his clenched fists in his pockets, where she couldn't see them.

"What sense would that make?" She asked, having a hard time to force back the bitter grin that wanted to spread on her lips. "You are lonely too, aren't you?" Sayuri finally raised her head to look into Sasuke's face and it wasn't the first time that he could barely bear to see that unguarded look in her eyes.

"Yes." He lowered his head and turned around a little, so he could lean against the wooden beam of the swing and only 1/3 of his face was directed at Sayuri now, who felt affirmed in her assumption and it really has been nothing but an assumption.

"See?" She shrugged. It was just like she had imagined. They were together and yet they were both feeling lonely – how sorry was that?

"But when you're with me none of us is lonely."

"Like it was that easy… We both don't know any better…" She looked down again, her mood verging on frustration or maybe resignation?

None of them was really able to approach the other, but they weren't able to call for the other either and merely being among people wasn't enough to fight solitude…

They've both been alone for too long, they didn't know what it's like not to be lonely. Even back then, they've been living their own lives in their separate ways – they've been so far apart… she didn't even know how it had worked out so long.

That was a bit harsh. It hasn't been this bad, on the contrary – she has really been happy with him, but in retrospect it just seemed shallow. At the beginning their relationship had altered profusely, but at some point it had stopped and remained stagnant throughout the rest. It has been a good relationship, one that had made her happy and she would say him too, but it has never been a deep one, not a grown-up one.

"You talked about us being a family, remember? But is this what a family looks like to you?"

_Please say no._

"…"

"You're never there. We rarely talk. We live apart. It hardly seems like we're even a couple…" Sayuri sucked in her bottom lip and looked to the side, trying her best to stay calm and not start crying. At the moment it wasn't hard yet, but these situations usually left her in tears. Especially now that she was rather prone to any sorts of emotional outbursts, anyway.

"You were the one who wanted to live in your own place." Sasuke countered truthfully, leaning his head against the wood, his eyes focused on the ink black sky, speckled with tiny white dots, looking much farther away than they did in Konoha. Sayuri was sure she had heard a reproachful tone in his voice. Had it hurt him after all?

"Tze… guess why…" Sayuri pouted, thinking back of her glorious plans about how Sasuke would try to win her back and how they'd start a completely new relationship the way it was supposed to be. No wonder she didn't belong to the cadre of strategists in their village; her plans usually ended in misery.

"…"

He had given a lot of thought to it and had reached a conclusion pretty soon. It's not like it was hard to tell. After everything that happened between them it was obvious that she wanted some space to him. He had screwed up.

"You know…" Sayuri started as he didn't respond, "our last relationship was so… it was chaotic. The way we came together, the hiding, the living together and then the way we broke up… I don't know… we did most things in the wrong order and it was all messed up and that was okay – back then it was – but now we're having a baby… it'll need stability."

"You can't force stability. It's either there or it isn't." Sasuke said plainly, after he had digested the contents of her words, which had turned out a little differently than he would have assumed.

"Well, then it isn't there." Sayuri sighed dejectedly, slightly disappointed about his sober words and the clear message they contained.

"I actually meant to make things easier for you, but it isn't easy, is it?" He asked, although he knew the answer already.

"How did you make anything easier for me?" Sayuri looked up at him, her eyes either burning with tears, or more likely anger. "By going away all the time and leaving me alone in this place? I need you now, but you… you…"

Okay it were tears. Miserable, helpless tears.

"…"

He thought he was making it easier for both of them by trying to keep himself relatively placated and trying to exhaust his anger through physical exhaustion. He had tried his best to keep himself from thinking about what happened, about his past, so he could be stable, now that she needed him most.

As it seemed his efforts haven't been enough. They never were.

In the past months, he had caught a glimpse of what he was capable of, when he released the memories he had locked up in all these years. That is why he had decided he couldn't afford to feel anymore. She had become the outlet for his anger, his despair, his every whim and he was afraid it would happen again. He couldn't bear the thought of hurting her again. And the situation wasn't so much different from back then.

Up to now he had coped with the loss of his family by more or less ignoring his feelings and channelling all his energy on his revenge, but now… He didn't know what exactly happened, who was involved, apart from Madara and then of course if he was alive still or not. Even so, he wasn't by himself any longer, so he couldn't go after him and make sure he was dead. His past life had been consumed by his wish for vengeance, but he was willing to give that up for them, he had to, which left him without a purpose. All that was left for him was facing his past and at length accepting his loss, but after all these years of completely ignoring it, he didn't think he was ready for it; he didn't even know how he was supposed to go on about it.

"I don't know what will happen and where we stand with each other and I'm scared and… when we go away from here, it'll only be the two of us and the baby, but when you are gone all the time, then it's only me and the baby and that's… I really need you… Aren't you scared of this at all…?"

"… It's what I've always wanted."

And it was true and yet this wasn't how he had imagined things to be like.

'_I don't want to use the word "dream" but… I have an ambition. The resurrection of my clan and… to kill a certain man.__'_

He had thought once Itachi was dead, everything would be fine. The burden would be lifted from his shoulders and everything would be over. He would feel an incredible satisfaction, knowing that there were no more ghosts to haunt him. He would feel blissful, at peace with himself and his past, and he would finally be able to go on with his life and help his clan restore its name, its old glory.

What a child he had been…

"That doesn't answer my question."

"… it will be okay." Sasuke nodded slowly and in spite of his rather pessimistic view of the whole situation, he really believed that. The sceptical sound coming from Sayuri, made him doubt that she shared his take on the situation though. "Don't you trust me?"

"I do." The answer came too quick to sound well thought-through and in fact it really was by habit that her answer had turned out this way. This wasn't the time to figure out if she really meant that… "But… I mean… you know… there are so many things… so many things we never talked about, like… after you defeated Itachi… I thought you had come to terms with your past then, but you hadn't. You still haven't, have you? The wounds haven't even begun to heal, but you never told me. You never talk about these things."

Apparently she had picked up more of the situation than he had imagined; he had never thought he was this easy to read.

She had never addressed these topics so bluntly, and the way Sasuke narrowed his eyes reminded her of why; he just couldn't stand to think, much less speak about his past. He asked her if she trusted him, when he obviously didn't trust her enough to even share his thoughts with her.

"And did you ever notice that we not once talked about the future?" She looked up at him again, as she changed the topic, her watery eyes glowing in the pale light of the moon, whereas Sasuke's were doused in shadows.

"…"

A soft gust of wind wafted past them in lieu of the words that were due at this point.

"-Never, like it didn't even exist or like none of us believed there was such a thing for us. And now the future is there, knocking right at our door…"

Their current plans ran out at the date of birth. From then on they only included things they wouldn't do. You couldn't even call that a plan, but rather a list of restrictions.

Sasuke pushed himself off the oaken beam and turned around to face Sayuri directly, watching her place her hands on her stomach. Wasn't there even the slightest upwards movement on her lips? He wondered if she felt the baby right now. It has been a really long time since he had. _Months_ already and it struck him then just how right she was. He had missed the first part of her pregnancy and now he had left her alone during the second part, although he had promised he wouldn't. He had really neglected her – thinking he had done it for their good, didn't change that. And now she was crying. He had meant to take all burdens from her, so she could just concentrate on being pregnant and feeling good, but she sure didn't look like she was happy – yet another empty promise…

"I always make you cry…" He said in a low voice and brushed a hand across her tear-stained face, making her look up at him again.

"Yeah." She sniffed with a bitter smile on her lips and tried to wipe the tears away herself. "You have a talent for that."

"I don't mean to."

"I know." She lowered her head, her hair spilling like ink over her face, while she gave the swing a little push again, her feet off the ground, ready to fly. "I know you're trying. I'm trying myself…"

_It's just __not good enough._

Sasuke dropped his hand again, letting it fall limply at his side. He didn't like the direction this was taking. He didn't like the resigning quality of her voice, the resigning thread running through her words.

She was right, he was trying, but as it seemed it didn't suffice. He'd just have to try harder then, otherwise he was sure to lose her.

"It's true…" He sighed, mentally bracing himself for his next words. He'd always choose whatever fight there was over talking about his feelings, but it's not like he had a choice now. This was too important for restraint. "I haven't come to terms with my past yet, the present isn't working out the way I want it to and I don't know about the future… but I want you to be a part of it."

Sayuri buried her toes in the sand to stop swinging and looked into Sasuke's face. Petty as his words might have been, she knew it was a huge step for him and she appreciated his effort, although it was nothing new to her. She was the mother of his baby, he had said before that she would stay with him – even though he had used a more commanding tone back then; the _want_ made it sound like she had a choice and almost even like he would have also thought that way if it weren't for the baby…

"Really…?" She asked nevertheless, holding on to the chains a little tighter as she added: "and not just because, you know…" She looked down at her stomach with a somewhat sinking feeling, a little anxious about the brutal honesty he was known for.

"Really." He nodded, curling his fingers around the rusty chains as well, right above Sayuri's own cramped hands, and she watched him with wide eyes, as he slowly lowered his head to hers, bringing his face so close that only a mere centimetre separated them. She could already feel his warm breath on her lips and it caused her heart to leap right into her throat with a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time.

She closed her eyes then, knowing that he wanted to kiss her and this time she was ready for it, but it remained with his gentle breath, his lips wouldn't touch hers and the anticipation slowly yielded to discomfort, embarrassment even…

"I love you."

Her eyes flew open in surprise, as his breath carried his message to her and away with the wind, but before she even had a chance to digest his words, or respond to them, his lips finally met hers, catching her off guard after all, but she soon recovered herself again and flung her arms around his neck, smiling into the kiss.

"You really mean that?" She asked, once they had broken the kiss, but she still kept her arms tightly wrapped around his neck, her forehead resting against his. Every bit of physical distance seemed too much, she just waited for him to go puff and she'd wake up, as lonely and miserable as always in her far too huge bed, but as long as she could still feel him, warm and solid in her arms, it was real. He had really just told her that he loved her, for the very first time, when she had actually given up on ever hearing him say that. Not because he didn't do so, or well, not necessarily so, but because he was simply not able to.

"Hn." He nodded, still with his eyes closed, enjoying the moment without the accompanying guilt he usually felt. For once in a long time, he really felt like he had done the right thing; _knew_ he had done the right thing and not just assumed so.

"_Really_?" She asked again in a higher tone, barely able to keep a dumb but happy smile from her lips.

"Is this really so surprising?" Sasuke pulled his head back a little, sizing her up thoroughly. He had never yet said it, but it had still been obvious to him and he had been sure she had known it as well. As it seemed he had underestimated her self-doubts; it wouldn't be the first time…

"Honestly?" The smile faded a little, but Sayuri wasn't willing to destroy this euphoric moment with her scepticism and so she took Sasuke's face in her hands, softly running her fingers across his smooth skin, and then the three parallel scars on his cheek that still hadn't fully healed yet, before she kissed him again, this time a bit more concentrated than before.

They spent the next minutes like that, only exchanging long looks and long, promising kisses. Sayuri wondered if he expected her to say it now, too. She was tempted to, the same way she had been tempted to say _yes_ as he asked if she trusted him. But the thing is, happy as it made her to hear those words from him, it didn't change anything about the fact that only half an hour ago, she had sat here alone on the swing and thought about how her feelings for him might be nothing but a habit, only a way of thinking she had grown familiar with and liked to hold on to. If she said it now, it would only be a response to his confession, but she couldn't be sure if it was real or not, and that couldn't be in his interest either, could it?

None of this would mean anything, if these words weren't filled with honesty. If he had only said it, because he knew she wanted to hear it and it would soothe her, keep her content some more time. She would have to wait how he acted now. If things didn't change, then these three small words, she had waited to hear for ages, would be meaningless. But she didn't think so – actually she was quite confident about it…

After all Uchiha Sasuke wasn't exactly known for his loose tongue when it came to talking about his feelings.

As it seemed he really loved her.

He loved her.

…

…


	46. A new life part 1

**46. A new life part 1**

Another month had passed, and he still loved her.

It's not like he repeated it, but he showed her that it hadn't just been empty words; that he had not just said it, because it was a relatively easy way of keeping her content a little longer.

The situation was a little lighter; it was easier to breathe around him. It's not like he was much more talkative than before and he still spent a great deal of time on brooding, always with those thoughtful wrinkles on his forehead and the shadows lurking in his eyes, but his silence didn't feel so oppressive anymore. She knew to some extent what was going on in his head now and so she wasn't so unsettled by what was left unsaid.

They had gone back that night, not saying anything else. After his words, the three _big_ words, everything else would have seemed trite and would have destroyed this special moment. All they had done was collapse into bed, the same bed, with only their hands touching, because everything else would have been too much in the unbearably heated room. They had left all the talking for the morrow, as she had woken up to the slightly sweaty smell of him, just the way she had wanted to.

It was that day that she had moved in with him again. They were having enough difficulties already and had come to the decision that a physical separation wouldn't be helpful when it came to solving them. Finally they had started to actually do something, other than keeping quiet and hoping for something to happen. It really was true: admitting that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it.

They had talked all morning and well into noon about everything they had in mind, everything that had caused the situation to turn out the way it had and everything they could do to make things right again. In those few hours they had exchanged more words than in the whole last months. It has been awkward at the beginning, and none of them had really wanted to start, anxious about unearthing the dark secrets they had buried a long time ago –for each other's good, as they both thought.

Sayuri talked about feeling alone, about her fear of staying alone, fear of their uncertain future. She told him that she missed him and missed their friends and also their home and for the first time she admitted that she wasn't fine; that her head was aching all the time and that she could barely sleep, because she was too busy running to the toilet and that she really thought she was going to burst now and then, because it already felt as if the baby filled up all the space there was in her stomach and if it was going to grow any bigger still, then exploding would be inevitable. And she also told him that it was sort of annoying when he came after her all the time and told her what to do.

Sasuke wasn't as straightforward. He mentioned certain discrepancies concerning Madara's alleged demise that kept him worried and he also grazed the topic of him no longer being sure what exactly happened now. If Madara had spoken the truth or not and in how far Konoha's elders have been involved. Moreover he implied that he wasn't even sure if he wanted to find out. Didn't think he _should_ find out, for their sake, when that might turn out as the very opposite after all; when the insecurities would carry on torturing him, the way they had in the past months and he would end up letting her pay for it. Again.

He was permitting his old wounds to heal at length or at least he was willing to try so. He was trying to let go of his past, but not altogether. He was still holding on to a little piece, in case he should need it one day. In case things hadn't worked the way they had thought after all. It really looked like Madara was dead, but there was no corpse, no proof and he had been thought to be dead before, so they could not be sure.

She had never really seen it. Had never seen his pain, because she hadn't expected it to be there. With how he had been behaving, she would have never thought it was still this bad, but it was, and now that she was finally running around with her eyes open, she could finally see that. Could see the shadows invading his eyes whenever he felt unobserved. Could hear in his silence, rather than his words how far away he still was from coping with what happened. And then there were the nightmares. They had only started about two weeks ago and they weren't really frequent, but they troubled him, although he wouldn't ever admit that.

They had lived together for such a long time and she had thought he had gotten over it. Thought he had opened up to her, but there have always been these silences between them, and in retrospect they have been more profound than what they had said.

The most important things have always been carefully tucked between the lines. He had said he wasn't afraid, but his words made it obvious that he was – immensely so. He was afraid of doing the wrong thing, afraid of what he was capable of, afraid of failing her, failing _them. _Unlike her, he still hadn't forgiven himself and instead of facing his fears, and risk doing something wrong, he had evaded her. He had decided it was better to not even try, rather than end up failing and having to repair the damage resulting from his wrongdoing.

Now it was about repairing the damage resulting from his omission to try – a form of wrongdoing he hadn't taken into account.

Sayuri, in turn, had decided to stop keeping everything to herself and include him more in her pregnancy. All of this was hard for him and so she would have to take a step into his direction, just tell him about everything, the good and the bad things, even the petty things, so he was involved and she was no longer by herself. Besides, it also distracted him and it made it much easier for them to get closer to each other again and it had only been a matter of days until she had felt comfortable enough with him around to speak out whatever ran through her head, without thinking about maybe boring him.

With all these things in the open, they shared some sort of connection, of intimacy. Something they used to have a while ago, but that had gotten lost somewhere, sometime in a scrapheap of lies, broken promises and hurt. But now that there were no more secrets (at least no grave ones), there was no more need for lies or omissions and instead there was hope now; hope and promises, small or not, that were likely not to end up in smithereens.

Sayuri had promised she would be more considerate and would mind the advice of her doctors, so Sasuke wouldn't have to remind her all the time.

Sasuke had promised he would spend more time with her and not go on so many missions any more.

That was half true even. He still went on quite a lot of missions, but not long ones; they rarely ever exceeded half a day, but for that reason he trained even more often. But in the evening he was usually back again and since she was trying to nap through the afternoon that was okay.

At the moment she slept even more. She had run a fever a few days ago and had spent three days in hospital. She only came back two days ago and wasn't even allowed to leave the bed and that after they had only just cancelled her bed rest – but only for another day.

While she had been in hospital, though, and the fever had retreated enough for her to have a clear head, she had done her first pregnancy course, if you could call it like that. They had calculated the date of birth, which would be in around 7 or 8 weeks from now – it would be an autumn child. And her midwife told her that she should start talking to the baby, so it could get used to her voice. She actually claimed it could already hear her in there! She knew that it could hear; she at times felt it startle at loud noises, but still it felt awkward to talk to her own stomach, so she figured she'd just read to it – then she'd only feel like half a nutcase.

That's what she was doing now, or well, planning to do. She was lying on the couch in Sasuke's kitchen-dining-living-room and tried to entertain herself and her baby by reading, but it still seemed weird, being all by herself here, and then without any background noise. They had chosen to stay in Sasuke's flat since it was facing north-east, whereas hers had been facing south-east, which made a difference of roughly 3°C. Sasuke was on a mission at the moment, only a brief one, because otherwise he wouldn't have gone at all; not with her being ill and bedridden – although the first point was no longer current.

That had really bound them together some more. He has been truly worried as he found her shivering in bed and had at once taken her to hospital, although that wouldn't have been necessary; it hasn't been this bad and they had mainly kept her there for observation reasons and not because she had really needed to stay.

"Okay…" Sayuri sighed for the umpteenth time, having to remind herself again that only because she moved her lips while reading didn't mean she was actually reading out loud. If it weren't so quiet in here it wouldn't be so bad and it bothered her to think she was actually talking to her stomach. Even though she could already feel it, it was still giving her problems to imagine that there was an actual more or less fully developed baby within her belly and moreover that it was actually able to hear her. And so to her it didn't feel like she was talking to her baby, but her stomach and that was just crazy. Next time she'd start talking to her elbow then… It wasn't even a useful book – one that needed reading out loud. She had decided that books about herbs or poisons would bore the baby to death and was sure that it didn't want to hear anything concerning its own pain-surrounded entry into life. Like it would actually understand it…

"Okay…

'_You cannot say, or guess, for you know only_

_A heap of broken images where the sun beats_

_And the_-'" She stopped as she saw from the corner of her eyes how the door opened. If she hadn't felt so uncomfortable about this, she would have probably missed it, like she usually missed it, when Sasuke came home, until he stood directly before her or startled her by raising his voice when she thought to be alone.

"Hi." Sayuri greeted him hastily and pressed the open book against her chest, while she smiled tensely at the dark-haired man.

"Hey." Sasuke sat down on the edge of the couch and leaned down to give her a peck on her hair, before he ran a hand across her slightly damp forehead. "You're still warm."

"Well, in case you didn't notice, there are like 30°C in here, of course I'm warm."

"Hn." He shrugged. "You're still supposed to rest."

He just couldn't leave it. Especially since he heard about her headaches, he disapproved of her reading habits and always tried very subtly to get her away from any piece of literature. Right now, however, he was anything but subtle.

"I don't have any idea where you even get all these books."

He tried to take the book out of her hands, but she held on to it tightly, until he gave her the kind of look that caused all her protests to die out in an instant.

"I-I was reading to the baby." Sayuri defended herself, her already flushed cheeks taking on a somewhat darker shade.

"You're reading to the baby from a medicine book?"

"Oh no, It's not a medicine book."

"…" Sasuke raised an eyebrow sceptically and turned over the book, reading a few lines, before he looked up with a startled expression. "-Poetry? That isn't really better. Since when do you read such stuff?" Sasuke asked. It really was a mystery to him where all these new books came from, when she wasn't even allowed to leave the bed and they had come here without having anything at all.

"I don't know." Sayuri shrugged. "Temari lent it to me, so I thought I'd give it a shot…

"Temari is into poetry?"

-–that sure came unexpected.

"Haha – no." Sayuri shook her head, grinning. "That's why she gave it to me. It was a birthday present from Kankurô. She just wanted to get rid of it."

Like there was actually some evil spirit slumbering within the pages that would one day come out and turn her into a sentimental romantic – the very kind of person she detested more than anything.

"She wants to get rid of it and of course you start reading it at once." Sasuke rolled his eyes, apparently sharing Temari's opinion on the matter.

"Well, I thought it was more suitable for a baby than books about medicine or pregnancy."

"Hmpf…" Sasuke snorted and again peeked into the book.

"'… _I could not _

_Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither_

_Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,_

_Looking into the heart of light, the silence'_

_-_how is that suitable?"

"They're not all like that…"

But a lot of them contained even more references to death, more detailed and bleak than this harmless one.

"Hey! – How about you read something to the baby? It knows my voice well enough and I'm tired anyway."

"Then you should sleep."

"Not that tired…" She rolled her eyes and opened a page in the book, before she passed it to Sasuke. "Here, can you read this one and look at me while you do so?"

"How am I supposed to read and look at you at the same time?"

"Okay, you have a point there… Then just read."

"I'm not gonna read that."

"It's sappy, isn't it?" She grinned. "I didn't manage to read it to the end, because I was too busy rolling my eyes, so you do it please."

"Tze…" He clapped the book shut and placed a hand on her forehead again. "You really should sleep now."

"I wish you'd stop doing that all the time…" Sayuri sighed and shook his hand off. "I'm a grown up, remember?"

"Guess so." He shrugged, not sounding really convinced, though, but as he saw the sulky look on her face, he leaned forward and gave her an apologetic kiss. "Do you need anything?"

"Uhm… could you get me something to drink please?"

"Hn." He nodded and rose to his feet. "What do you want?"

"O-range-juice." She chanted, wondering why he even bothered to ask and the sound coming from him then, made her sure that he was thinking the very same thing now.

"We don't have any left." He said after having peeked into the fridge.

"What? Oh snap…"

"You want me to go and buy some?"

"N-no… then just give me a normal orange."

"We don't have any of them either

"Oh no…" She wailed, actually devastated by this petty piece of information. "Why did you have to ask? If I hadn't thought about it, I wouldn't have realized how badly I wanted it."

Same as always.

"I'll go and buy some ahead…. Again…" He said dryly.

"Would you?" Sayuri asked hopefully, although she knew she didn't have to ask; she only had to imply something and he did it. He really was trying his best to accommodate her with whatever she needed; whether it were material things or just some company. He probably felt like he had to make up for how he had behaved before and Sayuri clearly benefited from it, although she didn't want him to feel compelled to do something, when he actually didn't want it.

"Sure. It's my fault after all…" He said wryly and caused Sayuri to giggle.

"True – Oh! And when you're at it, get some tuna, too, will you?"

"Anything else?"

"Uhm… no, that's it."

He nodded and left the house. If the supermarket weren't on the other side of the street, Sayuri would probably feel guilty for sending him around so often, but this way it was fine. She wouldn't say she was eating so much more during her pregnancy than she usually did, but she was eating different things. She was totally into sour and bitter things at the moment: oranges, lemons and basically everything with vinegar and she couldn't stand anything sweet. Not even her much-loved chocolate. The doctors said she was yearning for exactly the things her body needed and in her case that was definitely vitamin c.

"You like orange juice, don't you?" She asked into the empty room and stroked her stomach, not really managing to get her voice to that high-pitch, she usually heard mother's use when they talk to their babies. But then she wasn't really talking to the baby, but to her stomach and besides, she didn't want to talk that way, because it just sounded stupid. How was a child ever supposed to learn how to speak properly, when its parents adapted to its senseless jabbering?

"That was quick." She grinned as the door opened and Sasuke came back in with a small paper bag in his arms.

"It's on the other side of the street." Sasuke shrugged and started filling a glass with the orange-juice he had just bought and handed it to Sayuri, before he started unpacking the bag.

"Thanks." She smiled at the glass and started drinking, but in that second the baby kicked right into her kidney, almost causing her to spit out the juice again, but she reacted in time and held her mouth shut, which didn't keep the bright orange liquid from running out of her nostrils and then down the length of her arm. And now she sat there with a bright red head, still coughing and trying to catch the orange juice with her arm, so it wouldn't stain the blanket or the couch. She heard an amused sound from out of the kitchen, where Sasuke was obviously enjoying himself at her expense, but at least he had the good grace to throw a dishtowel to her.

"Ow…" She moaned miserably, once she had finally finished coughing, but then she was kicked again, even harder than the first time. "Goddamnit. I think our baby hates me… I bet the inside of my stomach is all black and blue - and I even read to you…" She glared at her belly.

"You're exaggerating, it's about as big as a puppy…" Sasuke smirked and sat down on the carpet, right beside the couch, placing his hands on Sayuri's stomach.

"Tze, it probably has a better kick than me… ouch – just you wait till you get out of there and the doctor gives you a good slab on the bottom, then you'll see what it's like."

"Are you just threatening our baby?"

"No… It was just a well-meant warning…"

It _so_ was a threat. What did Sasuke know? He wasn't the one who was being kicked and punched and expanded all the time. It didn't always hurt, but often enough. Everytime it hit a wrong spot and those happened to be its favourites. But by far the worst was a kick against a full bladder, especially when she was somewhere outside on the street and had to concentrate on neither crying out in pain nor peeing her pants.

She was really glad when this was finally over. She was sick of being pregnant and looking pregnant. She was really touchy about her weight, although she very well knew that most of it wasn't her own, but the babies weight, but that didn't keep her from reacting rather… well, _piqued_, whenever someone confronted her with it, like last week. Sasuke had said something like '_lend me a hand'_, she wasn't even sure, but what she had understood was elephant. That made her day. She hadn't even known if she should start crying or spew fire at him to show him that she was by no means an elephant, but a big fat angry dragon. That would have definitely been her reaction of choice, but unfortunately her body was not able to produce flames, so she had gone for water after all and locked herself in the bathroom to cry her eyes out.

He really didn't have it easy with her and she was sure he wished back the time when they had still been separated by both stone walls, same as emotional walls and she had been more reluctant about showing him her moods, which tended to change from one second to the next. This month it had been especially bad and Sasuke was the one who suffered from it. Poor guy, but then he deserved it because of being so well off otherwise. He hasn't gained nearly 8 kilo, he wasn't in all sorts of pain, ranging from swollen feet, over an aching back, to a throbbing head and he didn't have much to do with the whole birthing business either. Therefore it seemed just fair to her that he was doing his part to make things easier for her, he loved her after all, right?

…

…

That night Sayuri had a strange dream. It started really promising actually. She was walking with Sasuke, side by side down a treaded path, lined by many bright green trees and bushes. They didn't talk, but she could tell that she was feeling happier than she had in a very long time. Soon she realized why; in front of them was a huge gate, with green doors, made of thick wood and the kanji for fire written on it.

And the doors stood open. Inviting them in.

They hesitated before they reached the semi-round stone surface that would lead right into the Hidden Leaf and regardless of how dearly she wanted to enter, she just couldn't and merely stood there with Sasuke's hand in her hand and a helpless look on her face, wordlessly beseeching him to make things right, the way she always expected him to.

"Just look straight ahead and behave normal." He then said in a low voice and although she didn't understand the meaning of his words, she put one foot in front of the other, the same way Sasuke did, any yet they weren't walking. Nevertheless their surroundings floated past them, as though they were watching a movie, when it were really all the people who were watching them. Everyone was, they stopped and stared, incredulous about their weird form of locomotion and it was only as Sayuri turned around to look back, that she realized that they were all just statues.

All the people had frozen, turned to stone, even their friends and she tried to tell herself it wasn't really them, but memorials made to honour their heroic deeds. Secretly she knew that wasn't true though. Their petrified eyes remained stuck on them, even while they kept on sliding through the streets and it was only as Sayuri meant to ask Sasuke what this was all about that she noticed that his hand was cold and hard as well. The shock sent a jolt through her body and in that moment, she held Sasuke's fossilised hand in her own, same as before, with the only difference that it no longer stuck to his arm.

A mere second later his hand began to crumble to dust within her desperate grasp and she saw that Sasuke's eyes were as cold and lifeless, literally, as everyone else's. That's when she screamed; a scream that would have put every banshee to shame and she didn't quite know if it was the air she pressed out of her lungs or maybe it were sound waves, but suddenly all the people, the statues, around her began to brittle, just like Sasuke's hand had. The remnants of all these crumbling bodies were pulverised, stirred up, and she found herself within a cloud of black soot, stealing away the whole landscape, settling down on her skin, entering her every pore, until it had covered her from the inside out and she was one with the mortal remains of what used to be her friends. Forever one in the darkness, where there wasn't even an echo or a shadow. Where there was nothing but the sounds emanating from her very own chest. Her heart beating in behalf of a thousand people now. She has never felt lonelier in all her life.

That is when she realized it was getting harder to breathe. At first it didn't bother her too much. With everyone having turned to ashes, to history, and her being at this place where there was absolutely nothing, it didn't seem to matter a thing. However then she woke up and it was still the same and from then on it _did_ matter.

For the second time this month, she found herself trapped between Sasuke's knees. She was lying curled up like a cat, almost at the foot of the bed, where she always wandered in her sleep to have some distance to Sasuke's warm body in this already far too warm room. But while she had only wandered in her sleep, Sasuke had clamped her neck between his knees, too deep down in the ocean of sleep to even realize what he was doing.

"Sasuke?" She whispered softly and patted his knees, trying not to wake him too abruptly, lest it should startle him and he would end up breaking her neck. But he was fast asleep, maybe in the clutches of a nightmare himself, which deprived him of his usual alertness and so it took her some time to finally wake him.

He at once released her of his headlock and sat up, not yet awake enough to comprehend what had just happened, but merely three seconds later, she could see the realization hit him like a physical slap in the face, causing him to cringe and his eyes to widen.

"Sayuri, I—" He started but didn't know what to say. He didn't know what was going on. He's never before had these nightmares, not this vividly. "Are you okay?"

"Hm." She nodded and sat up as well, scrutinising him cautiously. "It's not me you should worry about…"

"I didn't mean to hurt you." He said calmly and pulled her into his arms, placing apologetic kisses on her hair.

"I know. It's okay, really…" She assured him.

As it was, nothing happened, but in case he had squeezed his legs a little tighter… it did worry her though. His nightmares started only about two weeks ago or that's when she noticed them and he didn't have them every night. Usually only after he came back from a really exhausting mission or when he had overdone it with his training and collapsed right into bed, once he came back. These were the only occasions when he fell so deep into sleep that it was almost impossible to wake him again.

Actually he's always had a very light and calm sleep. He rarely moved at night and if he did, then only to change his position, but he has never yet assaulted her in his dreams. She had never yet seen him dream, to be honest. Especially not nightmares, but then that only showed that he was at length facing up to his past. Or at least that was her take on the situation – what if it was the present or maybe the future that was unsettling him so much?

"What's worrying you?" She asked, brushing a hand along his face, noting the slight film of cold sweat covering his skin.

But he didn't respond. Didn't want to talk. He only stared off into space, his eyes ever so vacant as they often were lately and then he shook his head and reached for her hand to put it down on the mattress. With a hint of unease clearly visible on her face, Sayuri watched how Sasuke got out of bed and left the room without another word.

It unsettled her a little, but uncomfortable as she felt about it, Sayuri fought the urge to go after him and lay down again instead. Listening into the silence, she tried to make out what he was doing, but all his habits and instincts must be switched on again and he didn't make a single sound. His behaviour really gave her reason to worry. It definitely wasn't normal to clamp your girlfriend's head between your knees while asleep. Especially not for him.

It's not even like he hugged her so tightly that she couldn't breathe or anything that would at least make some sort of sense, but it were his knees. It was so weird and bizarre and it just didn't fit to him. He was this strong, calm, resilient person, as solid and steady as a rock, someone to rely on and it disconcerted her a little that now when these very traits of him were needed the most, he apparently lost them. But then that was only in his sleep, and not every night, only when exhaustion hauled him way below the shallow spheres where he was usually reposing. During the day, he was more or less how he used to be, except more quiet and thoughtful, but who knew for how long…

His nightly behaviour was getting to him; his nightmares did, but his assaults on her even more so. It only happened twice and he never really hurt her, but he could have, and that was the point. This lack of control was what bothered him the most. He needed to be in control, to be the master of the situation, his emotions, his thoughts, his actions, but while he was sleeping that control slipped away from him and there was nothing he could do about it. He could neither keep himself from dreaming these dreams about burning houses and haunting shadows, nor could he keep his body from feeling like it was actually within the dream and acting like that, to keep himself from lashing out at ghosts of his past and holding on to what was lost to him – to what might be lost to him in case he won't manage to regain his self-control.

An hour passed with Sayuri lying on her back, one arm resting on her belly, the other extended over the empty space on the mattress right next to her. She watched shadows dance across the ceiling, when nothing else was moving. When there was not even enough wind to stir but a single leaf on one of the non-existent trees. She wanted to wait for him, needed to wait for him and see how he was doing, but she wasn't sure if she could do so much longer, which is why she decided to search for him, before she could fall asleep against her will.

She needn't search long. He was standing on the balcony, as dark and quiet as a living shadow and she was anxious that her arms might just pass through him, when she tried to reach out to him. Quietly, she opened the curtained glass door and came to stand behind him. She took his hand in hers, feeling it cold and solid in her grasp.

"Hey… come back to bed, it's late." She said softly and walked around him, to reach for his other hand as well. Standing in front of him, she could see his face now, in spite of the darkness and he was looking blank and detached, almost like nothing happened. If he couldn't control his sleeping habits, he could at least control his facial expression…

"You shouldn't be walking around yet." He said soberly, switching the topic.

"Wrong. It's past midnight – I'm free again." She smiled, trying to look and sound casual and light-hearted for his sake.

"Hn." He shrugged. "You go ahead I'll-"

"-No." She interrupted him brusquely and raised a startled expression on Sasuke's face.

"_No_?" He repeated. It has been quite some time since she had so clearly disagreed to something he had said, but she was serious about this. It was a _no_. She just wouldn't allow him to draw back again and distance himself from her, thinking he did it for her good, when it was really only the fear of himself, fear of what repressed demon might be slumbering within him that made him think he had to do this.

"Uh-uh." She shook her head sternly. "There's no point brooding about this now. You've had a tough day and it's late, so c'mon."

"Maybe I should sleep on the couch."

"Tze. You'll do no such thing." She rolled her eyes. "It's really not that much of a big deal-"

"-not a big deal?" He cut her off sharply, with a spark of anger flaring in his dark eyes, but he forced it back almost as soon as it occurred in the first place, which didn't mean it was entirely gone. "I hurt you. Again. How is that not a big deal?"

"You didn't mean to."

"Of course I didn't." He sucked in a sharp breath, holding it for a couple of seconds, before he released it again and shook his head. "This shouldn't have happened."

"No." She agreed. "But it's too late for that now."

"Hn." Sasuke nodded thoughtfully. "And I can't let it happen again."

"Then you won't." Sayuri shrugged casually, hoping that by showing that she trusted him, she could reassure him a little.

"Tze… how can you be so sure of this?"

"I guess I just trust you." She let go of his hands and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her face so close to his that their noses almost touched, and she could feel his warm breath feather across her skin. "And besides, I'm not afraid. I don't sleep so well when you're not there – I feel safe when you're with me, so please, let's just go."

"Pfft." Sasuke snorted and attempted to turn his head away, but Sayuri wouldn't let him, so she cupped his face in her hands and leaned even closer.

"I do." She breathed against his lips. "So c'mon now." She kissed him softly, before she just pulled him along with her, not giving him a chance to protest.

He did lie down in bed with her then, perfectly calm and unmoving, his breath coming even and shallow. By the time Sayuri was woken out of her light slumber by their baby, maybe half an hour later, she knew that he hadn't even tried to fall asleep yet.

"Sasuke…" She moaned and propped herself up on her elbow, letting her long hair fall over her shoulder, as she watched him for a moment. "Can't sleep, huh?"

"Neither do you." His eyes fluttered open and moved towards her in the dark room.

"No." She shook her head and ran a hand over her round belly. "The baby woke up."

If she had been fast asleep that probably wouldn't have bothered her, but now it did. It often woke up right when she wanted to sleep and did some gymnastics in her uterus and that made falling asleep sort of hard. She was almost sure it did that on purpose – it sure liked torturing her…

"You're _brooding_ again, huh?" She asked and brushed a hand across his face, noting his grim expression. If he kept furrowing his forehead like this, he'd have wrinkles before he even turned 21.

"I'm trying to sleep."

"No, you're not…" Sayuri said sceptically and watched Sasuke close his eyes with a wry smirk on his face.

"No… I'm not."

She watched him for a long moment, his seemingly blank face that probably wanted to display all sorts of emotions, but he just wouldn't allow that to himself. "What are you thinking?"

"I think you should really sleep now." He evaded a clear answer, but it's not like that came as a surprise. From time to time he let her in on his thoughts, but never the really grave things, those he had to be thinking about right now, which is why Sayuri was determined to distract him from himself, so he could get some rest which he clearly needed; the dark rings under his eyes left no doubt about it.

"Do you… do you know any lullabies?" She whispered hesitantly, hardly expecting an answer to that and right she was. All Sasuke did was raise an eyebrow, wondering why she asked that. "I don't remember my childhood, so I don't know any…"

"Hm…" Sasuke watched her with an inscrutable expression, before he lengthened his neck, pressing his head deeper into the pillow and stared at the ceiling. She wondered if he saw sequences of his childhood flitting across the beige plates.

"My mother used to sing to me or tell me stories when I was really small. She no longer did so for Itachi though, so I asked her to stop, too." He paused briefly, his eyes closed. "I don't remember a single song or tale."

He barely remembered the sound of her voice. At times he couldn't even remember what she or his father looked like and it always shocked him when that happened. He had been young alright as they died, but not so young that it would justify the deficiency of his memory. He wondered how Sayuri felt about that, but then their situations weren't comparable… Having no memories at all, she couldn't be unsettled by a mere lack of details.

"Then we'll just have to make something up I guess…" Sayuri grinned wryly. "Can you sing?"

"Never tried."

"Would you? – For our baby?" She added to give more weight to the implicit request hidden in her simple question.

"I'll leave that to you."

"Pfft – you wish."

"…"

He didn't answer and she could tell that he was absorbed in thoughts again, no nice ones from the look on his face – he really didn't make it easy for her.

"Guess we'll leave it at telling stories then." Sayuri shrugged and crawled closer to him, snuggling against his chest, while Sasuke put an arm around her back, and played with her hair absent-mindedly. What better time was there to give it a try than now? With the baby moving vividly around in her belly and Sasuke seeming too perturbed to sleep, this was her chance to test her storytelling skills and distract and lull the three of them.

"Hey, imagine we were no longer in Suna, but somewhere entirely different. Somewhere where it's not so terribly hot, but not cold either. At a lake maybe and we are entirely different, but we are really ourselves, only the way we were meant to be…" She paused and thought of Sasuke as a happy, carefree person, someone who hadn't lost his family and she thought of herself as a whole person, someone who could look into a mirror without wondering what is missing, if there was something missing at all, or if she only thought so because she expected it. She didn't think she could exist as a whole person when half her memories were absent.

"The sun stands high in the sky. It looks like a white dot against the clear blue sky and there isn't a single cloud anywhere near, but that's okay because we lie in the shade of a tree that throws patterned shadows over our skin. It's really nice and we just lie there in the grass and listen to the rippling of the waves and you hold my hand, like this—" She reached for his free hand and smiled at him, before she leaned her head against his chest again, listening to his calm heartbeat. "and there is nothing but the two of us and nature. No fear, no worries; we'd never be afraid and never alone – our minds are blank and we only live into the day without any responsibilities. Without knowing about anything, but what is happening now. I think we could become happy at that place, don't you?"

She moved her head up again, seeing that Sasuke had his eyes closed, his face looking relaxed and she wondered if he was wandering through the piece of her imagination she had volunteered to share with him.

"Do you want to live at the sea?" He asked after a while, his eyes opening again.

"Hmm… It would be nice, wouldn't it?" She smiled, but the smile soon crumbled, as she distanced herself from her imagination and thought about reality instead. "But no. That wouldn't be good." She sighed and hid her face between Sasuke's chest and the crook of her own arm.

"Why?" Sasuke asked and pushed her chin up with his index finger.

"A sea isn't the right place for a child. Just imagine we are inattentive for as little as a second and it drowns in the meantime… A sea wouldn't be good." She exhaled wearily and hugged Sasuke a little tighter and it was just then that he noticed that she had not once mentioned their baby as she had talked about their new life.

He lay awake most of that night, staring at the scarce specks of silvery light on the ceiling, listening to the calm, rhythmic breathing of his girlfriend, sensing a premonition of approaching danger. Through the half-open window he picked up a familiar scent. It was carried to him by the wind, lingering in the streets, intruding his thoughts.

Madara was out there somewhere. He could smell it in the air.

…

…

Summer had passed at length. The days were getting a little shorter and the temperatures had dropped by nearly 2°C. The difference could only be seen on the thermometer, though; during the days it still felt unbearably hot.

They wouldn't stay here, they had decided on that at length. It hasn't really been a serious option to begin with, but now it was certain, which left them with yet another _not_-home, but they weren't any closer to knowing what they would do and where they would stay. From how it looked at the moment, they would wander about, until they found a place that seemed worth staying. That has been the initial plan at least, and actually it was really nice, almost romantic even, but then travelling over long distances with a baby was anything but easy. If it were only the two of them, it wouldn't be a problem. If they didn't make it to a village before nightfall, they could just sleep outside then – they were tough enough for that, but a baby certainly wasn't. Especially if you took into consideration that the warm months were about to pass. In Suna you might not notice that, but everywhere else you did and after all it was everywhere else they wanted to go to.

Actually they had meant to leave as quickly as possible, at best before things in Konoha had settled and Tsunade would have time to finally deal with Sasuke's case. It didn't look good for that, though. Sayuri was writing letters to her friends in Konoha. As long as they were staying in Suna, which they all knew, she could still do so and if you trusted Naruto, then Konoha was as good as done already. The date of birth however was scheduled in about five weeks, in November. Then they would first have to wait for the baby to be old enough to travel and by then it would be winter and they'd have to wait till spring, so it was highly unlikely that they could evade Tsunade, which kept them both worried.

Aside from that, there were still the ANBU. They weren't there all the time. It would have raised questions otherwise. Gaara was filled in though and so were his sibling – at least on the official version – but the rest of the village would be rather startled about seeing a group of Konoha ANBU in their midst and in case they would stay within Suna all the time, they were bound to be discovered sooner or later. They only came from time to time; usually when Sasuke was given a longer mission. Then they not only followed him, but they also assigned one of them to keep watch on her, as if they feared she might try to escape and meet up with Sasuke somewhere else, so they could flee without being seen.

She really didn't know what was going on in their heads and what exactly their orders were, but they were making her nervous. They weren't even inconspicuous about their presence, as though they meant to remind them that they were still there; that things weren't over yet and that they should better not do anything stupid and she was afraid that one day they might decide to step out of the shadows and who knew what would happen then? Besides she was growing paranoid.

She was always on the lookout for any quickly moving shadows, especially when it was dark and ever since the day that she had woken up at night and gone to the kitchen to get something to drink and had then seen a dark silhouette stand in front of her balcony door, she didn't even feel safe at home. At least not when Sasuke wasn't there.

He had assured her though that they wouldn't do anything to her, and well, they were Konoha shinobi, so there should be nothing for her to worry about, but nevertheless it was a disturbing thought to entertain; merely the prospect that there might be someone watching her all the time, someone who might have even entered her flat without her noticing was scary. Whenever she woke up at night (and she often woke to nature's call) she was reluctant to open her eyes, for fear of finding somebody stand in her bedroom.

She was really, really grateful that Sasuke was usually there at night now. His nightmares had become rarer again and his nightly attempts at strangling her hadn't repeated themselves and so she trusted the sharpness of his instincts. In case someone was there he would notice, but even if not, it would only take one sound from her and he would make whoever there was go away to say the least. Therefore there was no more need for her to hide under her blanket when she woke up and hope that just because she couldn't see anyone, also meant that there was no one there, which only left her with a single reason for worry now. For _panic_ – to be more precise.

There was only a little more than a month left and they still weren't even nearly ready for being parents. There have been so many things they wanted to do; Sayuri had meant to read all sorts of pregnancy related books (and hadn't even managed to bring herself to read a single one) and Sasuke had meant to rob a toy store, but as it was they had nothing but a pacifier with an orange bumblebee on it, Naruto had sent them for Sasuke's birthday. They had no crib, no changing table, no bottles, no diapers, no clue.

And then the signs were getting clearer and clearer. There's been a false alarm before. In retrospect that had been really funny – if you disregarded the pain and the panic about becoming a mother already. But the thing was that Sasuke had been about just as panicky as her. She had tried to assure him that it was probably nothing, since it was far too early still – she wasn't even sure if she had said that for his or for her own sake, but nevertheless he had been close to throwing her over his shoulder and running with her to the hospital, even after she had told him that the cramps were getting better. He still denied that ever happened and that she had been the one who panicked and had apparently projected that on him. That is why she had now laid out a plan in order to test him – with all the free time she was having, she didn't have anything better to do.

She didn't even have to fake all that much. She's been having slight cramps all day. They have gotten more and more frequent in the last weeks, although they had only this one time been strong enough to mistake them for labour pains and each and every time it left her with the question of _what if that had been the real deal now_?

She wasn't ready yet. Even in a year from now she wouldn't be ready. She had decided that just accepting the situation made it much easier, and it's not like there was any way out of this now. Fostering these negative thoughts really didn't make it better. She was trying hard to look forward to having this baby, tried to imagine how she'd feel when she got to hold it in her arms for the very first time, but the only positive aspects she could find was finally not being pregnant.

Sayuri was sitting in their bedroom, looking out of the window at the people in the street, until she caught sight of a familiar dark-haired man among the crowd, returning from having run the errands for them. An anticipating grin appeared on her lips and she prepared herself to set her plan into action. Actually it was pretty pathetic that she didn't have anything better to do with her free time than playing such childish games, but with how bored she was all the time, she really didn't. Besides she really wanted to see if Sasuke was really as indifferent and unafraid as he always pretended to be.

Not even a minute later, she already heard the door click open, shortly afterwards followed by the sound of cabinet doors, opening and closing, as Sasuke put away the groceries he had just bought. She waited a few more seconds until she decided to begin with her act.

"S-Sasuke?" She called out, with the right amount of shock and even a tint of panic in her voice and once she reached the doorframe, Sasuke was already standing in front of her, eyeing her expectantly.

"I-I think my water just broke." She stammered in a hollow tone and clutched her stomach tightly as another cramp, a real but actually slight one, passed through her lower belly.

"Y-you mean…" He said, stammering himself, and received a nod in response, and now Sayuri prepared to watch his reaction without being blinded by pain and being distracted by the fear of having a baby already.

"Okay…" He inhaled deeply, and as he carried on, his voice was far calmer and steadier than Sayuri would have liked. "We need to get you to hospital."

He put a hand on the small of her back and began to navigate her past the few pieces of furniture there were in the room and towards the door, but before they reached it, Sayuri stopped him.

"I haven't packed my bag yet."

"What?"

"I need clothes and a toothbrush and food and a baby book and they said I need lip balm and something to bite on and—" She rattled off everything her midwife had told her and actually the list was much longer, but she forgot most of the rest.

"Okay. Wait here." He made her sit down on the couch, before he rushed off into the bedroom and she could hear the wardrobe doors slam open, almost disguising his hissed curses and Sayuri couldn't help grinning. He hadn't panicked, huh?

"Hurry!" She urged him and only two seconds later Sasuke was already in front of her, his hands empty.

"Screw the bag." He hissed and leaned forward, picking her up without any apparent difficulties, but it wasn't really a swift movement, which definitely spoke for his nervousness. With her in his arms, Sasuke rushed to the door and she nearly hit her head on the doorframe, but he pulled her closer just in time. Funny as it was, Sayuri decided she had taken things far enough, and so, once they were out of the door, she finally held him back.

"Wait."

"I'll bring your bag later." He moaned impatiently, but the look on her face startled him a little.

"My water didn't really break, you know? It was a joke." She finally gave in to the grin that so eagerly wanted to spread on her face, and waited for Sasuke's reaction, but all he did was stare blankly ahead. "Sasuke?"

"You're joking." He narrowed his eyes angrily and any other person would have probably felt scared when given the look he was giving her now, but not so Sayuri.

"No, I mean, all of this was a joke, but I'm not joking about this being a joke—huh!" She gasped as Sasuke suddenly let go of her and if she hadn't clung to his neck, she would have landed flat on the floor, but she was laughing too hard to feel offended by that, whereas Sasuke was obviously offended.

"If you keep giving false alarms you'll end up having to give birth by yourself – I sure won't believe you anymore."

"Ah, come on…" She buried her face in his chest, so he wouldn't see that she still couldn't stop grinning. "It was funny, wasn't it? And now tell me again that you didn't panic."

"Tze… so that's what this was all about? Very mature…" He rolled his eyes, still looking and sounding sulky.

"So what? – I'm trying to make the best of my last weeks in freedom…" Sayuri sighed, trying not to sound too bitter, especially not in front of Sasuke, but from the way he was watching her, he had probably noticed. So she tried to prevent a potentially tense situation by rising on tiptoes and giving him a brief kiss.

"You know, I'm meeting Temari and Matsuri later. We want to buy some things for the baby. You wanna come with us?" She asked hopefully and kissed him again, before he had a chance to respond, as though she actually believed that would have any influence on his answer.

"Can't. I'm off to some training."

"Oh… okay." Sayuri dropped her arms to her sides again, attempting to force back the growing disappointment.

She would have liked to do this together with him, but he obviously didn't want to. It's not like he had a fixed appointment with the training ground, so he could have just as well delayed his plans for an hour or so, but he probably didn't want to run around with three girls and rush through baby stores. Understandable even.

"Another time." He held her back by her upper arm as she was just about to go back inside and made her turn around to him again.

"Sure." She nodded with a weak smile on her face. It's not like she would let him get off so easily.

…

…

An hour later, Sayuri found herself standing in the middle of one of Suna Gakure's main streets, right under the merciless glare of the hot midday sun. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky and in all the time they've been here, it had not once rained, which might explain why there were only so very little plants growing here. With summer having passed, it had gotten a little windier though, but that was even worse, because it wasn't enough to cool you, but it wafted all the sand around and you ended up with having it between your teeth, in your hair and just about everywhere. She was almost looking forward to the day they would finally leave this dusty hell.

For now however, she was still at the mercy of a sun, much hotter than she would have ever thought possible, still waiting for the two girls she was supposed to meet here, about five minutes ago. Usually she didn't mind waiting a little, but not at this juncture. She felt like a snowman in an oven and if they needed much longer, there wouldn't be anything left of her, _that_ she was sure of. And to crown it all, she was still having those cramps from time to time. They were only light however and they were definitely more pleasant than when the baby used her organs as punching bag again. But then the one thing didn't exclude the other – a combination of both, while they were still among people would be great…

"Sorry we're late!"

She heard a breathless voice from behind her and turned around to see a panting Matsuri, slowly followed by a lazily strolling Kankurô – the wrong member of the sand siblings.

"Nevermind." Sayuri smiled at them, trying not to let it show that she was close to despairing about the savage heat that was sure to melt her, in case she wouldn't seek cover soon. She really didn't know how people here could bear the temperatures. Maybe it wasn't even half as bad as it appeared to her and all of this was related to her pregnancy. "What about Temari? Where is she?"

"Oh, well she has a lot to do and doesn't know if she'll make it at all." Matsuri sighed and looked at Kankurô as he finally caught up to her. "That's why she sent Kankurô-kun in turn. He's supposed to carry our bags and so on."

"And you just put up with that?" Sayuri turned to the only male member of their group, with a gleeful grin on her face, doubting that he was here of his own free will.

"I'm still in her debt. "Kankurô admitted quite openly. "And I figured Sasuke might come along… Where did you leave him?"

"He's on a mission." She explained and judging from the look on Kankurô's face, he'd much rather do that as well, but he probably had a good deal of respect of his sister's temper and so he did as he was told.

Actually Sasuke had wanted to do some training, but as he had just meant to take off, he received a note, asking him to take part in a simple reconnaissance mission on the outskirts of the Land of Wind and then he's actually had a valid excuse to not join them here.

"Hmpf…" He mumbled something under his breath, before he forced himself to look a little less grim and added: "So what do you need then? Tables? Beds? Highchairs?"

"Well, more like… diapers, bottles, baby powder – the basics, you know?"

"Why do you need me to help you carry things, then?"

"We don't _need_ you… but it would be nice if you still came along." Sayuri smiled at him sheepishly, hoping he wouldn't change his mind

"Of course he'll come!" Matsuri answered on his behalf. "I wish Gaara-sama could come to, but he has so much to do all the time. He really takes his duties as Kazekage serious."

"Maybe too serious." Kankurô grumbled and rolled his eyes about Matsuri's raving, maybe the tiniest bit jealous even that it was always his kid brother and not him, who received all the praise.

"He does no such thing!" The young kunoichi defended her secret crush indignantly, although what Kankurô had said was right, his little brother really did take his office a little too serious from time to time. "Gaara-sama knows what he is doing."

"Never said anything else." Kankurô soothed her, knowing better than to belittle Gaara's achievements in front of no other than his number one fan. "Let's get this over with then."

"The _enthusiasm_…" Sayuri droned sarcastically and then at the latest, she decided to really let Kankurô suffer during their shopping spree, just for the fun of it.

"Ah well, it's not like I have anything better to do right? And you do look like you need help with carrying. Can you even put your hands together in front of that stomach of yours?" He asked with the image of a T. rex in mind and he waved about with his own arms according to that.

"Kankurô!" Matsuri looked at him with a scandalised face, having the tactfulness Kankurô was lacking, which made her know that that has just been pretty mean.

"Of course I can! See?" Sayuri demonstrated.

"Uh-huh…" Kankurô curled his lips in vicious amusement. "Then let's go already. The sun is terrible today."

"It is, isn't it?" Sayuri seconded him excitedly, for the first time hearing an indigenous Suna-citizen complain about the temperatures, which made her feel a little better.

"It's worst at this time of day. I don't know what's gotten into you to propose going shopping at noon." He growled like a bear, as they finally started walking and wiped the back of his hand across his damp forehead.

"That was Temari's idea. And now she isn't there at all…" Sayuri shrugged, a little disappointed, although she was in no position to feel that way.

"Well, maybe she'll catch up later… There aren't many baby stores here, so she shouldn't have trouble finding us." Matsuri said, before her attention was deflected to a building with many colourful balloons and banners all around it. "Oh, look! They finally opened the hot springs."

"Hot springs?"

"Yeah, just like those you have in Konoha. It's all artificial though, but well, who cares?" Kankurô grinned and it was only as he saw Sayuri's expression darken, that he remembered that Konoha no longer had anything – at least not of the old things. "Look, I didn't mean-"

"Nevermind." She waved him off, before he could carry on. "But why do you need a hot spring in the desert? Wouldn't a swimming pool have been a better choice?"

"Oh, stop nagging."

"I'm not nagging." Sayuri pouted. "I'm just saying, hot as it is here, who would voluntarily take a hot bath?"

"We do." Kankurô shrugged and grinned at the two girls. "How about it?"

"…" His proposal was received with rather scandalised expression and it took a little until the penny dropped.

"Oh! Not what you think! They have separate sections…"

"Well, then okay." Matsuri clapped her hands together excitedly. "I've never been to a spa before."

"What about you?" He turned to Sayuri, who didn't look keen on their proposal.

"Ha-ha." She laughed dryly. "How am I supposed to get a towel around _this_?" She pointed at her stomach with a grimace on her face.

"Err… true. You really are fa- Ouch!" Kankurô pulled his foot back, after Matsuri had stepped on it, to keep him from saying yet more insensitive things.

"But you two should really go." Sayuri said, deciding to ignore what Kankurô hadn't come to say, although she still knew what it was. "I'm not feeling so well anyway. Maybe we should postpone the whole shopping thing." Sayuri put her hands around her stomach that was contracting and retracting unpleasantly, making her want to lie down and put her aching feet up.

"Oh no, we can do that later." Matsuri smiled at her, thinking it was only an excuse, because she didn't want to ruin their day. "We meant to go shopping and so we'll stick to that."

"You don't have to- ugh!" Sayuri clutched her arms tighter around her body and nearly curled herself over her belly, which had just been seized by another cramp, much worse than all the previous ones today.

"What's the matter?" Matsuri asked with a shocked face. "C'mon sit down…" She grabbed Sayuri by the elbow and pushed her back against an empty flower tub.

"It's okay, really…" Sayuri tried to assure her, but sat down nevertheless, taking some deep breaths with closed eyes.

"You don't look well." Kankurô said uncomfortably and looked up and down the street, probably wanting to be anywhere but here right now.

"I'm fine." She sighed, thinking it was over, but then her whole body tensed with yet another contraction. "Oh, god" She gasped with a bright red face. "I think I just peed my pants."

"Oh yuck." Kankurô grimaced disgustedly, thinking that was way too much information.

"You didn't pee your pants…" Matsuri's eyes widened and unlike Sayuri she was as pale as a ghost. "I think… I think your water just broke."

"Nah, nonsense." Sayuri rolled her eyes. "It's way too early for that. Gosh, this is so embarrassing. Guess we'll need to go to the spa after all." She pushed herself off the flower tub, but the moment she was standing, she was hit by a pain, so intense that it nearly knocked her off her feet, if Kankurô and Matsuri hadn't been there to steady her.

"Oh my god, the baby is coming!" Matsuri gasped. "What are you gonna do now?"

"Well what do you think?" She hissed through gritted teeth. "Press my legs together of course! It's still a month too early – I'm not ready yet. The baby isn't ready yet– it can't seriously think of coming already."

"Nonsense. If it wasn't ready it wouldn't come yet – we need to get you to the hospital!"

"No." Sayuri shook her head desperately.

This couldn't be happening. They weren't ready. They had nothing but a stupid pacifier. They couldn't seriously become parents already. She needed that one month. This was the one month in which she had meant to catch up on everything she hadn't done yet. In which she meant to learn what it meant to be parents in the first place. The baby couldn't just thwart her plans. Sasuke wasn't even there. This just couldn't be happening.

It couldn't.

…

…

_A/N: The poem quoted is 'The Waste Land' by T. S. Eliot_


	47. A new life part 2

**47. A new life part 2**

It was a panicky blur of time, voices and colours between crouching there in front of the spa to being pushed through the front doors of the hospital. She didn't take in much except speed. Sequences of pictures rushing past her, whirled around in a panic-induced daze. And then the sounds. At some point she had lost the ability to distinguish between what came out of her own mouth and what out of that of others. Did she even speak? She doubted so – not with how busy she was with clenching her teeth and trying to convince herself that this wasn't happening.

It was her own fault. She had tempted fate and now she got to pay the price for that. If she hadn't acted like her water had broken this morning, then maybe it wouldn't have broken now. And just before this happened, Sasuke had been assigned to a mission out of the blue. Like he had predicted, she would end up having to give birth by herself. Damn it.

"Hey we need help here!" Kankurô shouted once they were standing in the main hall of Suna-Gakure's hospital.

"What can we do for you?" A nurse with a friendly face walked towards the three of them, but the gasps coming from Sayuri, who was still supported by the two Suna-nin, made it pretty easy to tell and the nurse's face became serious in an instant. "We need a wheelchair, quick!" She ordered, before she focused her full attention on Sayuri again. "How far apart are the contractions?" She asked and helped her sit down in the wheel-chair, which had just been brought by another nurse.

"What do I know? Not far enough." Sayuri hissed, far too upset for sounding polite.

"How far are you progressed?"

"Uhm… week 35 – it's too early. Please put a stop to this." She pleaded desperately and watched a knowing smile spread on the nurse's lips.

"I fear that's not up to me. Did your water break already?"

"I don't-"

"-It did!" Matsuri cut in excitedly, not allowing Sayuri to claim she only peed her pants, which she'd much rather believe, embarrassing as it was.

"Okay, we'll get you to the maternity ward." The nurse informed her calmly, before she looked from Matsuri to Kankurô with a questioning expression on her face.

"Do you know where Sasuke went to?" Kankurô turned to Sayuri. "I might be able to catch up to him and replace him so he can come here."

"I don't know… Somewhere… I don't know." She shook her head helplessly, trying hard to remember if Sasuke mentioned any names or locations, but finding herself unable to hear herself think.

"Nevermind, we'll find out." Matsuri assured her. "We'll get him here, just hang in there."

"Yeah, good luck!" Kankurô grinned tensely, before the two of them left her alone with the nurses and the pain, caused by a baby that had for who knows what reason decided to enter the world, on this very inappropriate and untimely day. It really had to hate her.

…

…

Despite its apparent hurry to enter the world, the baby definitely took its time.

It's been five hours since she had walked through the double doors of the hospital, in which time she had done nothing but sit in her room, or take strolls through the corridor and then go through many an examination, always ending with the nurses telling her that she still wasn't ready. In spite of the nearly unbearable pain she was in, they actually had the nerve to claim that her contractions weren't yet strong enough. She tried hard to cry and moan especially loud and look even more miserable than she felt, which was hard, because she doubted it could get much worse, just in order to convince them of the opposite, but they were merciless.

She wanted to get this over with as soon as possible and yet didn't want to, because she was scared of the outcome and she knew where this would end.

They had brought her to a room that barely looked like it belonged to this hospital, since all the other rooms, basically every building in Suna was kept in earthy tones, whereas this wasn't.

It was all white. The walls and floors, the furniture, the sheets, the curtains, even the light – it was all glaring white, just terrible. She felt like she was trapped within a salt crystal and she was all alone.

Kankurô and Matsuri had left; they weren't really close to each other so that wasn't surprising and well, Kankurô was a man, so no wonder he had taken to his heels once he had seen an opening. She wished she could do so, too, but unfortunately she couldn't run away from the little intruder that had settled in her body, but then it was about to come out soon. Or well, at least she hoped so…

"How are we doing?" A nurse entered her room, all bright and cheery, while she was panting and cursing and sweating. And Sasuke actually wanted to have even more children – he could _sooo_ forget about that.

"Isn't that obvious?" She barked, by now incapable of keeping her voice down.

_Hang in there_ – what a helpful advice.

"Let's get you into bed and see what the baby thinks of all this." She guided her towards the bed and helped her climb into it and then again she started one of these absolutely unpleasant examinations, which she only endured by keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the ceiling, imagining to be anywhere but here right now. At the moment she was imagining herself into an ice cube.

"Looks good about it. I'll put you on the IV now – no more running around."

"Y-you mean it's coming?" Sayuri stared at her with wide eyes, before she squeezed them shut tightly as another contraction rolled over her. She didn't know if she only imagined it, but they seemed to be getting more and more painful and then they came so close now that it was hard to breathe in between.

"It'll probably take a little still, but yes, it's coming."

"Oh no… Why am I doing this…?" She asked in a bleating voice, but the nurse had nothing better to do than smile about her predicament.

"It'll be over much sooner than you think, and then you'll see it was all worth it."

"Tze, right…" She snorted and bit her teeth together in pain, her hands curling around the sheets.

In a way she was glad that Sasuke wasn't here and saw her scream and cry and wail and yet she wanted him here all the same, so she could hold his hand instead of the sheets and squeeze it into a bloody pulp, just so that he got his share of the whole giving-birth-thing as well. After all it was his fault that she was here in this situation in the first place, so how come she was the only one who felt like slamming her head against the metallic bedpost, just so she had something to distract herself from the pain and maybe drift off into unconsciousness, coma, death, whatever – at the moment she'd take anything and just because they didn't give her a proper pain medication.

"Is it supposed to hurt so much?"

A stupid question, she knew that, but this was much worse than she had imagined it, so maybe something was not right – she's never had a baby yet, so how could she know?

"Oh, yes. It's terrible, isn't it?" The nurse sighed compassionately, although her words failed in soothing Sayuri one bit. "Do you want something against the pain?"

"What?" She asked a bit dumbfounded. She hadn't even known that was an option. No one had asked her yet. She's struggled through who knew how many excruciating hours of labour and now she asked her if she wanted something to ease the pain? "Of course I do!"

"Really? Many women want to experience the miracle of birth with their full senses, so they don't want anything."

"Why would someone seriously want tha- Agh!"

"They want to feel a connection to their baby – it's a really intimate moment."

"Not me. I don't want to feel anything."

"Your choice." She pressed her lips into a thin line, probably not thinking too much of her decision. "I'll get the medication. In case you should feel like pushing, call for someone, we'll prepare the birth then."

Five minutes later she came back and injected the painkillers into her infusion bag. Only half an hour afterwards Sayuri was sure it had only been a placebo and begged for more. It was about just as painful as before, worse even and Sayuri wished that they'd at least give her a stick to bite on to keep her from screaming all the time and spare her that humiliation.

It went like that for another two hours and she was so exhausted and hungry by then already that she had no idea how she should actually have the energy to even stay awake throughout the birth. But then she'd much rather sleep through it…

"Oh dear, you should really relax. Your blood pressure is way too high." One of the by now three women in her room chided and went to the window to pull the curtains shut, while another one dimmed the light. As though that would seriously suffice to calm her, when she was panicking here.

She wanted Sasuke to be here now after all. So he'd see her howl and scream, who cared? She was dead scared of the situation and she just needed a well-known face she could focus on. Someone who held her hand and said something other than '_keep breathing'_ or '_do you feel like pushing yet_?'. She just hoped Kankurô had found him and he'd come here soon. _Really_ soon, because as it seemed time was running out.

"I-I think it's coming." She gasped and was sure that her blood pressure must have doubled to 400 in that moment.

"Okay, take a deep breath. The midwife is coming already." The nurse said and panted exaggeratedly, prompting her to do the same, but Sayuri was too busy with gritting her teeth, to keep whatever scream there formed in her chest where it was – a pointless endeavour.

"Ooo-kay, who is having a baby here?" A really tall, grey-haired man entered a few minutes later, his blindingly white teeth illuminating the whole room. His smile seemed to take up all the space there was and he appeared like one of those charismatic persons who could enter a room and fill up the entire space with their mere presence; have everyone look at them and want to get in contact with. A self-complacent all-around entertainer. She hated him the instant she saw him.

She hated just about everyone right now, most of all herself, because she had been stupid enough to let Sasuke touch her – that sure wouldn't ever happen again.

"Is that the happy mommy?" He pointed at her panting and cursing form, still with that toothpaste-advertisement smile on his face – he was about the living proof that men got more attractive with age, but that didn't make him any more likeable in her eyes.

"Hello-" He peeked at her patient-chart before he reached his hand out to her. "-Sayuri. I don't think highly of formal addressing, so well, I am Kenta and I'll be your birth assistant."

_No way_.

He still had his hand reached out to her, waiting for her to shake it, but Sayuri was too stunned to do so, and besides she was in pain and she had decided she hated him, so she sure didn't feel like greeting him.

He – that _man_ – was supposed to be her midwife? – or birth assistant as he called it… No way. A midwife was supposed to be female and he certainly wasn't. She didn't want an unknown man to see those very intimate parts of her, to practically look into her. There has only been one man who had ever seen her naked and that was the one whose fault all of this was and actually she had wanted it to stay with this one person.

That man, whatever his name was, soo had to get out of here, right this very instant, which is why Sayuri curled her fingers tightly around the fabric of his sleeve and pulled him closer, before she panted: "I… want… a fe-male-Agh!" The _midwife_ got drowned out by yet another scream and now her birth assistant loosened her cramped fingers from his shirt and pressed her hand down on the mattress.

"Oh, a daughter, huh?" He smiled, a bit wider than before, since he had never stopped to begin with. "Well, it's not like you can decide about that, but… I see what I can do…" He derided her in that smug manner and Sayuri really wanted to feign a cramp – well, she didn't have to feign all that much – and kick right into his smiley face, but right now, she was in so much pain that she didn't trust in her aim.

"Give me… a higher medication." She gasped, feeling like she was close to passing out or maybe that's just what she wanted.

"It's too late for that. It won't take long now, so just clench your teeth and start pushing. Now."

_Not long_ wasn't much of an accurate time span. To her it felt like ages, in which she was caught in a loop of panic and pain, which made it hard to keep track on how much time passed and what exactly was happening. There were all these people around her, she tried hard to forget about by closing her eyes and then there were their voices, which she was desperate to block out, because if she'd actually listen to them, she'd go insane. With the pain growing more intense and the voices getting louder, more urging and abstruse, she felt herself growing weaker and at some point she wasn't even sure if she was even pushing at all. She didn't want to. She couldn't keep herself from resigning, although it's not like she had a say in that. The baby wouldn't just crawl back in, because she didn't feel like doing this now. But she really didn't. She wanted this to be over already.

Then it was.

"It's there. You did really well, c'mon, look at your baby."

"Huh?" She asked blurrily and lifted her head, her eyes wandering from the nurse who had just spoken to her, to her birth assistant, who in that moment lifted the baby and she only caught a brief glimpse of it before her eyes fell shut, but it was all blue and it hung so limply in his hands, like it had no bones at all.

"I'm afraid your wish hasn't been granted, but I'm sure you'll also be happy about your baby boy." The man said in his booming voice, which managed to keep her from drifting off into sleep right away.

"Here look at your son." A nurse said and put an arm under Sayuri's neck to push her up, so she only had to keep her eyes open and could then look through her still raised legs at her baby. "Isn't he handsome?"

_Handsome_? What was handsome about this? It was so slimy and bloody – it looked like it came right out of a horror flick. At least it didn't have tentacles or a hoof, but still… She just waited for his head to turn a complete circle, before his eyes would plop open and he'd laugh like a broken wind-up doll. This creepy, insane kind of laughter you always hear in horror movies and then he'd grow teeth all of a sudden and rip her throat open.

Before any of this could happen, though, the birth assistant carried him somewhere into the back of the room and Sayuri had no chance to make out what exactly they were doing, because a disjointed sense of dizziness descended over her in that very moment, and forced her eyes shut again and her body to drift right through the mattress, leaving it floating in the air.

"We need a blood transfusion, quick!"

Shouldn't it be screaming? She was sure it should, so why didn't it? What was going on?

It came into this world only about a minute ago and she was already worried.

So this was what being a mother felt like, huh? _Terrific_.

…

…

She didn't quite pass out, but she did not quite not pass out either. She was left hovering in the land of exhaustion and (a failed) local anaesthesia, for an obscure period of time. Being there felt like floating through dry waters, plunged in a dizzying maelstrom that left her without any orientation. From time to time she saw faces looming above her, always looking worried, but never familiar.

She really wanted to sleep a little, but paradoxically enough, she grew both more tired and yet more awake simultaneously. The daze that had cloaked her head receded and it became a bit clearer and she became a little stronger, so it didn't take long until she was able to keep her eyes open for a bit longer and follow what was going on around her. It wasn't really much, there was just the beeping of machines, the dripping of water and the occasional sighs of a nurse sitting in a chair next to the monitor, showing her vital signs, which were rather poor, but at least they were stable, if they weren't, she probably wouldn't have been able to tell so…

"W-what time is it?" She asked, her voice sounding hardly like it belonged to her, as though she hadn't spoken in such a long time that it had forgotten what it was supposed to sound like.

"Oh!" The nurse gasped and clapped a hand to her chest, apparently taken by surprise. "Uhm… it's 10 p.m. You've been out of it for nearly an hour."

"Oh…"

"You lost a lot of blood. We had to put you on a transfusion. How are you feeling, now? Still giddy?"

Good question… How did she feel?

"No, not really… just… just exhausted."

"Oh, that's good."

_Not really._

"You'll sure want to know where your baby is."

Well, at the moment she was more interested in where its father was. It was really late already, so why wasn't he here yet? Even if Kankurô hadn't found him, he usually came back around this time, but now that she needed him here, he didn't. How else could it be? Or what if something happened to him? What if he was in a plight? What if he was dead? What if she was left alone with the baby after all?

"Right?" The nurse pressed on, waiting for an answer.

"Hm." Sayuri nodded weakly, although it's not like she couldn't imagine it. It was a preemie after all, so they probably put it in an incubator.

"He's in the special care nursery. He had some trouble with breathing on his own at first."

"B-but it's okay now?"

"Oh yes, he's fine." The nurse smiled widely. "You two will need to stay in hospital a few days longer, just to be on the safe side, but I'm sure you'll be able to leave by the end of the week."

"…"

The end of the week? That wasn't really much. Just the thought that by next week she would actually go home with her very own baby, and they'd be all on their own, without any nurses to look after them and keep them from making any mistakes that would reverberate through all eternity and might do irreparable damage to the poor little thing. That just didn't seem right. Everything was happening far too fast.

"You hardly saw your own baby yet. I'll see if I can get him here, just hold on a minute."

"W-what?" Sayuri asked, her eyes widening, but the nurse had already walked out and she was now all alone within this white, sterile room. That is why she kept her eyes fixed on the colourful lines on the monitor, seeing that her pulse had just jumped from 40 to 56 after the woman had left.

It hardly took her five minutes before she returned, rolling a crib in front of her.

"Here is your little baby boy." She beamed and came to a stop next to her bed. "Have you decided on a name yet?"

"No… not quite – huh!" Sayuri gasped as the nurse suddenly raised the head of her bed, so she was sitting in it, which didn't exactly strike a chord with her, which she would have known, in case she had asked, which she hadn't.

"There you go." The nurse picked her baby out of its crib and passed it to her. "Mind the head." She advised and giggled about the way Sayuri's eyes widened.

"I don't know how to…" Sayuri stammered, her whole body tense and stiff and she was backing away as though they were contagious.

"Oh, don't be scared. There isn't much you can do wrong. As long as you don't drop him, it should be fine."

"D-drop him?" She stared at the nurse with a shocked face, but she was merciless and so, not even a second later, Sayuri held her baby in her arms for the very first time.

"See? You do it like a pro." She grinned. "I'll leave you two alone now, so you can become acquainted with each other."

"N-no!" Sayuri protested, but gone she was and now she sat here in this spotless room, in the bed with the thick and heavy duvet and the large, fluffy pillow, with no one but her son, who had still been a part of her, only a few hours ago. She felt like she was drowning in comfort, smothered by the overwhelming fragility of that tiny living being in her arms, suffocating on the overbearing responsibility they had left her with. Things were really going awfully fast and she couldn't help feeling betrayed a little, since they all left her here and she really didn't know what to do now. She didn't think she was doing things right. She felt helpless and just didn't know what to do with it. If it had problems with breathing, shouldn't it stay in the incubator then?

All she wanted was to sleep; she was far too tired for this. She had expected that once she held the baby in her arms she'd feel proud and blissful and all these things, but she didn't. She was merely exhausted and wished they would take the baby away again, because her arms felt like jelly and the dropping-thing the nurse had belittled beforehand, seemed far too likely for her taste. The bed was only about a metre high, but if it should fall, it would most definitely hit the floor head-first, huge as it was… Almost like a shooting star with the head being the actual star and its tiny body being the tail.

She shifted her weight a little, so he was leaning on her chest, rather than being only supported by her wobbly arms, before she pulled her head back a little to have a look at her baby, as long as it was still whole and she hasn't yet had a chance to break it.

So this was her son.

She wouldn't say he looked like any of them, but more like every other baby as well. He was mighty small, only about the length of her underarm, but he had a huge soft head and dark blue eyes, or at least she guessed so, but he hadn't opened them yet, so she couldn't tell for sure. He was just sleeping and puckering his face.

There was no way she could distinguish him from other babies. Hopefully they'd tag him correctly, Sasuke surely wouldn't like to raise someone else's child… Okay, she'd try to study him, but he really looked like any other baby. Maybe the hair would help, it was pretty dark, almost black and really fluffy and thin at some places, like he was a half-plucked chicken. Just great. Her baby looked like a soon to be roasted chicken. But then that should help her recognise him. Mine is the one over there, yes, the one on the grill rack.

Phew…

She only felt numb and exhausted, no trace of happiness or motherly feelings.

She had so counted on it. Had been sure that once she'd hold the baby in her arms she'd suddenly be flooded with affection and pride and love for that tiny thing that had lived inside her body for nine months-

-well it were just eight.

Maybe that's the problem. Maybe those feelings would have developed in the last month and because she missed on that, she'd never build up that kind of connection between her and her baby. Right now she merely felt a great sense of responsibility, but the love was somehow missing. Maybe it hasn't been ready after all, she most certainly wasn't.

_Don't cry now… don't you dare start crying…_

A deep sigh built in her throat and she started rocking her calmly dozing son lightly, with the main intention of keeping her arms from falling asleep; they were already tingling unpleasantly, so it didn't seem like it'd take long. All of this wasn't his fault, although she'd like to blame him for having been born before she was ready – _years_ before she was ready. She was even sure that if the baby's had a say in it, he would have chosen to be born by someone else. This was neither his fault nor hers and it wasn't Sasuke's fault either, but who was left to blame then? There had to be someone… something… There had to be a reason why she felt so despondent on the supposedly happiest day of her life…

She tore her eyes from her little baby again and stared at the door, hoping for the nurse to come back in and put him in his crib again, before it was too late, but the door remained persistently shut and the crib was too far away for her to reach it.

How irresponsible of them to just leave her alone here. What if she'd pass out again?

She moved a bit further to the middle of the mattress, just in case, and gazed back at her son again. He definitely looked better and less creepy without all the blood and slime. But he was practically all head – what if she wouldn't support it right and it would just fall off? Hang there on his back only held in place by the elastic skin, while his fragile neck was broken? How could they seriously entrust something so tiny and breakable to her? Just his hands… They were really, really small, with tiny little fingers and his feet were tiny as well and his toes, but somehow his hands were a little bluish.

She looked at them sceptically and raised her hand a little to brush it across his hand and he at once caught one of her fingers in it, almost like a flytrap. He didn't let go again and held on to her really, really tightly and Sayuri was surprised about how strong he was. Maybe he wasn't so very fragile after all… There've probably been others who have been even less fit to become mother and still they managed to bring their babies through life, so she'd somehow manage as well, right?

He blinked a little and opened his eyes just a crack, and Sayuri at once leaned forward to look into his face, seeing that his eyes were indeed a watery dark blue like the deepest part of the ocean and she couldn't help but smile. He really was somehow… cute…

Then the door opened, however it wasn't a nurse, but Temari who came in, her face displaying a mixture of excitement and annoyance.

"Finally…" She heaved a deep sigh and closed the door behind her. "I've been waiting out there for at least three hours."

"Huh? Why didn't you come in then?"

She could have really needed her here. Then she wouldn't have been alone and Temari could have clobbered her fan over the head of whoever dared to tell her how to breathe or give her any other silly advice.

"They didn't let me. Talked about complications…"

"_Complications_?" Sayuri frowned. Weird that they hadn't told her about it, or maybe they had and she just hadn't listened to them; after the tenth relax now she had stopped paying attention to them. But then she recalled all their talk about blood loss and how the baby wasn't able to breathe and so on, they hadn't called that complications, but if she had put one and one together she would have known that that's what it was.

"You lost a lot of blood." Temari verified her assumption. "And you look terrible. So how are you?"

"Hm." Sayuri shrugged lightly, not so sure about that herself; the discrepancy between what she ought to feel and what she really did feel was far too confusing.

"Oh, is that…?" The Suna-nin pointed at the small bundle in her arms and took a step closer, very slowly and cautiously, as though she was approaching a wild animal.

"Noo… it's just a dummy. They don't trust me with the real one yet."

Well, unfortunately they did.

"Haha…" Temari laughed dryly and came to stand beside her bed, from where she scrutinised the baby closely. "Boy or girl?"

"Boy."

"Uh… the new son and heir of the Uchiha-clan, huh? Well, congratulations, I guess… Now isn't that what you always dreamed of?"

Oh, the sarcasm. That's what she liked so much about Temari.

"Well, can't really say I dreamed of becoming a mother with 18, but… I guess it's not too bad…" She closed her eyes with a wry grin on her face. "Can you… can you hold him for a moment?" She opened her eyes again and gave the blonde a pleading look, which was only met by a confused one.

"What? Oh forget it. I-"

"-Please." Sayuri cut her off and although she seemed rather uncomfortable, Temari nodded now.

"But he won't start crying now or pee at me, right?"

"How should I know? Haven't heard him cry yet and I think he's dry at the moment, but…" She shrugged and watched Temari grimace.

"Oh well, I'll survive it…" She stuck out her tongue, before she took the little boy out of Sayuri's arms and once she had, Sayuri at once used the chance to stretch and shake her arms, before she slumped back into the pillows.

"Thanks." She sighed, her eyes closed, so she didn't see the wary look, Temari was giving her.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"I don't know… As long as you don't drop him it's fine…" Sayuri repeated what the nurse had told her.

"Duh… don't say…" Temari rolled her eyes and started walking through the room, feeling really uncomfortable to say the least. She definitely wasn't good with babies. "And he really, you know… came out of you?"

"Hn."

"That must have been hell painful."

"Tze… you have no idea…" She sighed. Everything, all the pain and the fear, was still far too close to get to the it-was-worth-it part. "Do you know if Kankurô… if he found Sasuke?"

"No, I didn't see him. It was Matsuri who told me you were having your baby." The blonde explained, before a gleeful grin spread on her face. "You go out to buy things for the baby and come home with a real baby instead. What an irony… I wonder what Sasuke will say to that…"

"Yeah me, too…"

She really did wonder… He really wanted this baby and it had always seemed like he was looking forward to being a father, but even so, it was really hard to imagine him in that role. He just didn't seem like the kind of guy for that.

"You want to have him back, now?" Temari asked after a while in which they hadn't exchanged a word and Sayuri had almost dozed off already.

"Uh?" She opened her eyes and raised her head a little, her eyes drawn to the blonde woman, before she slumped back into the pillows. "Better not… just put him in the crib then or call a nurse, I don't know…"

"Ah, come on! Get a grip on yourself. You're a mother since what? – An hour? Stop acting all weary already! You can do so when you have five of them or something…" Temari reproached her half-jokingly, although that really was her stance on the matter.

"I'm just tired, okay?" Sayuri moaned, just wanting for the whole world to leave her alone for a moment, so she could gather the energy she needed to be up to the situation.

"Sure." The Suna-nin nodded. "I'll get a nurse then."

"Thanks." Sayuri closed her eyes again, before she added: "And sorry for being so… you know…"

"Nah, nevermind. You've had a tough day, you deserve some rest." Temari assured her, but in that moment the door opened and again it wasn't a nurse who entered, but Sasuke.

He came to a stop, still in the door frame, his lips slightly parted, as though he meant to say something, but he didn't. Instead his eyes moved from Sayuri to Temari and back again, looking somewhat sceptical maybe, it was hard to tell with how guarded his expression always was.

"Here comes the proud father." Temari announced with a smirk on her face. "Bet you wanna hold your son."

"Son?" He raised an eyebrow, a little startled, all the time keeping his eyes fixed on the small bundle in Temari's arms, which was coming closer and closer, as she walked up to him and passed the baby to him.

"I'll leave you two alone then. Goodnight and get some rest."

"Thanks. Goodnight." Sayuri said in a faint voice, but didn't take her eyes off Sasuke as Temari left the room. He looked so comfortable while holding his son; as though he'd been running around with a baby in his arms for all his life. He didn't seem scared or intimidated at all. In fact he looked content. He really did.

"Hey…" He walked to her bed and leaned down to kiss her, in spite of holding their son, which she would have never dared and then he sat down in the chair the nurse had occupied earlier, his eyes always moving from the baby to Sayuri and back again.

"You missed the best…" She murmured drowsily.

"Hn." He looked up with a serious face. "I wouldn't have left if I had known the baby was coming."

"I know." Sayuri assured him. "I guess it's better that you weren't here… I really felt like hurting you."

"That bad?"

"Just look at the head." She grimaced and watched Sasuke nod knowingly. "You'll so get the diaper service until he's old enough to go on the potty. For the sake of fairness…"

"Pfft." He snorted dismissively, before his features softened again and he met her eyes. "You did really well." He leaned forward, kissing her longer this time, before he looked at his son again and carefully ran a hand over his soft head.

How proud he looked… And proud was how he felt. After all this was his son, his own flesh and blood. He was no longer the only member of his clan. He was having a family again. Maybe the past really wasn't as important as he always thought it to be. Maybe things could become well again after all…

"There have been complications."

Sasuke's head at once snapped up, which assured her that no one had told him about it yet.

"The baby had trouble to breathe, but it's okay now…"

"Hn." He nodded, relief clearly visible in his face. "You wanna hold him?" He eyed her sceptically, after all he knew about her attitude toward babies and then Temari had held him as he came in and that kind of made him suspicious.

"No…" She sighed wearily, but as she saw his eyes narrow, she added: "I'm scared I might drop him or fall asleep and roll over him – he's so tiny and I'm a walrus."

"Tired?" He asked, although her sickly look spoke for itself. She was deathly pale, her eyes were red-rimmed and half-closed and her lips were bloodless and chapped – giving birth can't have been a pleasant procedure…

"Uh-huh." She nodded and moistened her lips. "I didn't get to buy anything before I went into labour…"

"I'll do so." Sasuke said, getting the hint. "How long did it take?"

"Hmpf." Sayuri snorted with a wry grin on her face. "Far too long."

"Oh, the father is there, huh?" The nurse from before re-entered and at once walked to Sasuke. "I hope you've had a good look at him, because I need to bring him back now for the night. You can see him again tomorrow."

"Hn." He nodded and Sayuri had to grin about how reluctant he seemed as he passed his baby to the nurse, when she had wanted to give it away after the first three seconds. But then she had just gone through multiple hours of the worst pain she has ever felt in her whole life, whereas he hasn't.

She put him back into the crib and rolled him out and while Sasuke's eyes remained glued on him, until he was out of the door, Sayuri merely stared at Sasuke's back.

"Can you… can you stay here tonight?" She asked once the nurse, along with the baby, were gone, her voice almost failing her, because of her endeavours to speak up.

"I meant to." Sasuke turned around and walked to her bed, while Sayuri already moved to the side, to make some room for him and after he had put the head of the bed down again, he lay down next to her, pulling her against his side. She wanted to put an arm around him, but the IV line was quite bothersome, so she merely reached for his hand and held it tightly.

"So… we're having a baby now, huh?" Sayuri whispered and moved her head up to look into Sasuke's dark eyes, which looked so uncommonly warm and affectionate – and happy. He really did look happy, there was even the slightest smile on his lips. It was there ever since he had held his son in his arms for the very fist time.

"Yes." He nodded and rolled on his side, so it was easier for them to look at each other.

"A family." She added with a soft smile on her face. Somehow with him here, all of this was far less scary.

He nodded again, smirking and leaned closer, kissing her softly.

"Thank you." He whispered, once they broke the kiss and brushed his thumb across her pale, porcelain cheek.

"What for?" She raised an eyebrow and smiled as she received another feathery kiss.

"Everything."

_Thank you for having stayed with me through all this._

_Thank you for forgiving me._

_Thank you for giving me a family again._

"Huh?" She raised an eyebrow a little startled by his vague response, before she closed her eyes and smirked smugly. "You're welcome."

"Hm." He smirked as well and kissed her again, longer this time and not so hesitant anymore and afterwards they only lay there and shared a long, momentous look. The kind of look in which worlds melt, past, present and future dissipate, leaving only a vague, but powerful feeling behind. She hadn't thought she'd ever get to see him with his guard fully down, but that's how it was and she couldn't even get close to unravel all the things she saw in them. It was a milestone in both their lives, a positive one for a change. In spite of her fear and the initial pessimism, she had to admit that maybe it wasn't bad altogether.

It wasn't bad at all.

…

…

The next day, Sayuri had one of these surreal awaking experiences, you often have in hospitals. Someone was persistently trying to wake her up, when she was far from being done with sleeping yet and it took some time until the sounds turned from a subdued, distant hum into clear, identifiable tones, nonetheless unfamiliar ones, which didn't exactly make her any more inclined to actually get up. There was a female voice, with a decided nasal edge and then there was crying; the shrill crying of a baby. That sound in particular stirred up a deluge of memories and now she opened her eyes to the blurriness of a white morning or noon, she couldn't quite tell, but it was definitely too early still.

"Hmm…" She sighed and blinked a couple of times, before she rubbed her eyes drowsily, vaguely registering the cable attached to her left arm.

"Wake up, sleepyhead! Baby wants feeding…" The voice chanted, but its nasal quality made it sound really odd, rather unpleasant.

"Huh?" Sayuri raised her head and saw a really tall and lean nurse stand at the foot of her bed with a baby in her arms. Her intuition told her it was hers.

Still half-asleep, her eyes wandered over the rest of the room, but except for her and the nurse, and her baby of course, no one was there. She wondered where Sasuke had gone to. Maybe they hadn't allowed him to stay here after all. She's been so fast asleep, there's no way she would have noticed. But it was 11 o'clock already, she slept for nearly 12 hours and still she felt like it had only been a few minutes.

"You think you're ready to give it a try?"

"I don't know…" Sayuri murmured uncomfortably and struggled to raise her upper body off the mattress.

"Oh, keep lying. It's easier this way…" The young nurse with the old voice said and placed the crying baby on her chest. "Skin-to-skin contact is very important for the baby and the mother." She said and pulled at the blanket that was wrapped around the baby, so it only covered his back. "Use the feeding time as bonding time. Do you know how it's done?"

"Well… theoretically yes…" She looked down at the tiny, crying thing and somehow doubted that what little she knew would help her anything. Book knowledge isn't the same as actually doing it…

In the end it was easier than she had thought. She really didn't have to do that much. The baby must have really been hungry already. Now, 20 minutes later, he was peacefully napping on her chest, his little arms hanging down her side and his lips puckered in a funny pout. She gently ran her hand over his warm head, which was covered with pitch black feathers of hair. It was really thin and messy, but somehow that made him look even cuter – now it still did; when he got older and it would stay this way it would be rather odd. But the nurse had been right, he really was handsome, her little boy…

She lifted her head slightly, as she perceived some soft knocks at the door, before it opened and Sasuke came in.

"Good morning." She beamed at him and he paused briefly, taking in her expression, before he closed his eyes for a moment with a slight smirk on his lips and then walked to her bed. "Where have you been?"

"Brought your bag." He said and put said bag, he must have packed himself, on the chair next to her bed, before he sat down on the mattress, placing his hand on hers that was still resting on her son's head and gave her a kiss. "Feeling better?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded, still smiling. She wondered if that was only a result of her mood swings. Yesterday, when she had held the baby, she had been close to start crying and had actually been mad at them for leaving her alone with it and now she couldn't stop smiling. Maybe that would change again soon, maybe she would again slip into the baby blues, so she tried to savour this happy moment as long as it lasted.

"I just fed him for the first time and it really worked. The nurse said I did everything right." She announced proudly and placed a feathery kiss on her son's velvety forehead, giggling about the way he furrowed his brows then.

It was still kind of strange… It was hard to think of her son as an actual baby, rather than a really lifelike doll or something. It was so unreal still. Yesterday she had still been pregnant and had thought to stay this way for yet another month and now she was mother already and lay here in bed with her son and her boyfriend.

"Never doubted that." Sasuke shrugged with a smirk on his face and he was giving her that look again. The look that made her want to just drop everything and leap into his arms. For now, that didn't really seem possible though and so she left it at staring at him, almost mesmerised by the tender quality of his dark eyes. Her lips were parted slightly, when she was really lost for words and couldn't even get close to express or even understand what she was feeling now.

"What…?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow sceptically and brushed a thumb across her cheek. Sayuri closed her eyes lazily, enjoying his touch and it were moments like these that made her almost forget about the rollercoaster ride of the past months.

"It's easier now…" Sayuri spoke softly, thinking back of the words he used to explain his behaviour, to at least have a starting point. "All of this isn't so… so _terrifying_ with you there."

"…" Instead of saying anything Sasuke leaned down and placed his warm lips on her forehead, before he trailed his way down to her lips. It was one of these long, intimate kisses that were filled with promises; grand unreachable promises, but in that moment they seemed quite possible, everything did.

They parted again, as the baby made some smacking sounds with his lips and channelled their full attention on their son then, who was still sleeping soundly though.

"Give him your finger. Look how strong he is." She encouraged him and watched with a smile, how Sasuke reached his hand down to the tiny hand of their baby and cautiously poked his finger against his curled fist, until he gripped his finger.

"It's amazing, isn't it? Small as he is…"

"Hn." Sasuke nodded and ran his thumbs over his son's tiny knuckles. "Have you thought about a name yet?"

"No, not really… That was Suigetsu's job, wasn't it?"

"Tze, as if…" Sasuke snorted, making Sayuri giggle.

"Well, at least he did have some ideas…"

"He can keep them for his own children."

"Then what about our baby?" Sayuri grinned and softly rubbed her fingers in circles over her son's back.

"You did all the work, so it's only fair that you decide."

"Pah!" She snorted. "You're only trying to cop out. I don't have any idea what name would fit."

"Just choose something spontaneously."

"Spontaneously?" Sayuri raised an eyebrow, before a thoughtful expression settled on her face. "Hmm… … Mikan."

"Mikan?" Sasuke repeated. "You want to name him after a fruit?"

"I don't know… Maybe…?" She shrugged and eyed him questioningly.

He asked her to be spontaneous and this was the first name that sprang to her mind. After all the motif of citrus fruits had accompanied her throughout her whole pregnancy, so no wonder this was her first idea. Her little tangerine.

"Or do you think he won't like it? Or what if the other children at school tease him because of it?"

"Sayuri. He is an Uchiha. He won't be teased or if at all then only once." Sasuke smirked smugly and watched his sleeping son intently. "Uchiha Mikan it is then."

"Really?"

"Hn." He nodded and then looked up as the door opened.

"You must be hungry." The nurse from this morning entered with a plate in her hands and looked at the tiny family, blushing slightly as she caught sight of the dark-haired man.

"Oh, yes." Sayuri sighed. She hadn't eaten anything since yesterday's breakfast and she was just about starving right now. "Can you…?" She looked from Sasuke to their son and back again and he nodded at once, before he helped her sit up and then took the baby from her.

"Thanks." She smiled at him and watched how he ran a hand through his son's hair.

Sasuke and his son… It looked so right to see them like this. She wondered how she could have doubted his role as father, it really suited him. She has never seen him look so at ease and comfortable. It has been a long time since she had last looked into his eyes without finding these ominous shadows there. Now they had been dispersed by an overwhelming feeling of pride and a sense of belonging. And the same was true for her.

She was having a family now. For the first time in her new life she actually belonged somewhere, or maybe not somewhere, but to someone. Belonged to a family that happened to be her own. And she barely cared any more about the things that happened in the past, because ultimately they all added up to make her end right here in this situation… This must be the it-was-worth-it part the nurse talked about…

It was almost eerie in how good a mood she was at the moment; who knew what they had put in her IV – it was definitely better than the stuff they had given her yesterday…

"Here you go." The nurse placed the tray on Sayuri's legs and lifted the cover, revealing a single bowl, containing some sort of puree, vaguely reminding of what she used to get in Madara's headquarters, only that it had a somewhat healthier colour, but really not much.

She had only begun stirring the pulp with her spoon a little, testing its consistency, when the baby suddenly started crying and it caught her so by surprise that she nearly dropped the spoon.

"What's the matter?" Sayuri stared at her son anxiously, not yet familiar enough with his form of communication to know what he needed. Sasuke, too, didn't seem to understand what he was crying about, when only seconds ago he had been sleeping calmly, right there in his arms.

A bit of discomfort was there now after all, on both their faces, and if they had been alone, they might have despaired at the simple situation, or at least Sayuri would have.

"Why is he crying? Is something wrong?"

"Oh no…" The young, friendly nurse shook her head. "Baby is hungry." She cooed with a smile on her face, while Sayuri could only think about how terrible her voice sounded.

"But I only just fed him… Wasn't that enough?" She couldn't keep a trace of panic out of her voice; entirely overwhelmed was she by something as simple as her baby's cries and she felt exactly like yesterday now and the former happiness had forsaken her again, leaving only her old doubts in its wake.

Had she done things wrong after all? And she had been so proud to have managed at the first try. How could she even know if what she did was right or wrong with no one there to tell her? The baby couldn't talk and once they were out of hospital, she wouldn't have any nurses there to decode for her what her son was so desperately trying to tell them. And he was crying so hard now. His face was red like a lobster and his fists were curled and he drew his arms and legs so close to him, as though he tried to get his head to go off like a rocket. They had only spent an hour together and her baby was already bitterly unhappy and she, as his mother, hasn't even been able to tell why…

"It was, but now he's hungry again. The first months you'll have to feed him every two or three hours. Even at night. But he'll let you know when he is hungry, so never mind." The tall woman explained, sounding so snobbish when she did, although she actually seemed really nice. "Baby comes first."

She snapped the food tray away from Sayuri again, while Sasuke in turn handed her the crying baby with the big red wrinkly head.

So this was how it would be now. Their son cried and they jumped.

_Baby comes first._

And she had actually doubted that she'd be like those mothers on the playground… She'd be much worse even, because she didn't have the intuition that made her know what her baby needed. She wasn't made to be a mother, but she was willing to change that. She'd learn to tell what his cries, his mimic and his gestures all meant; after all he was her baby, her responsibility, but far more than that…

He was that thing that had lived within her body for eight months and it was now just as dependent on her as it had been in that time. He needed her and those earlier thoughts about shirking the responsibility and leaving the baby to Sasuke, so he could do with him as he pleased, were far, far away now. She would manage somehow. _They_ would…

…

…

The two of them had stayed in hospital for a whole week and in that time Sasuke had visited them every single day, from early in the morning till late in the evening. They had done courses; had learned how to bathe the baby, how to change its diapers, how often it needed to be fed and other things they needed to pay attention to. Nevertheless she had felt more than just unprepared to go home as they had discharged her. She didn't feel ready yet to face this new life of them without any omniscient personage there to stand by her side and hold her hand, while guiding her past all the omnipresent contact mines that were scattered in her path, just waiting for her to step on them and seize her and everything around her in an explosion of epic proportions that would reverberate right into the future – her baby's future. How much there was to do wrong…

Now three weeks had passed already and so far she had somehow managed to crawl her way past all the booby traps without setting any of them off, but it was exhausting and tiresome and demanded her full attention, when she was so very, very easily distracted and upset by even the tiniest things.

She often cried, she just couldn't help it and it worried Sasuke. He couldn't understand how she could feel sad, when he, for the first time in years, felt truly at peace with himself, happy even. And then she ended up feeling guilty, for worrying him and curtailing his elation, especially when she had tried so hard, so long to make him happy and in the end she had to cry even harder then. She was crying and crying, at times for no particular reason and then she had to laugh at the same time, because it was plain ridiculous. Sasuke must think her mad by now…

Often enough she just felt like disappearing. With the baby there, she had come to be invisible anyway, a month ago the baby was a part of her and now she was some sort of appendage of him, so she thought it might be better if she just ran away somewhere, where she could neither ruin her baby's nor Sasuke's life and then she ended up feeling guilty again, because Sasuke loved her and the baby needed her. There was just so much fear and guilt there.

Sasuke, on the other hand was doing great. His nightmares had stopped altogether and he looked far more alive and awake. He was really _there_, in reality, rather than lost somewhere in the intricate labyrinth of his mind. He was opening up while she was closing in. It was as though this new life had brought back his old one.

Sasuke really was a family man and now he was afraid that she might not be the same. She didn't know yet if she was. It was too new still, everything was too confusing and she didn't really have time to think about it, because all her thoughts circled either around the baby or her desire to sleep.

Unlike her son, she wasn't able to fall asleep whenever she wanted to and so his two-hour feeding rhythm often resulted in sleepless nights and days for her. Even at the times she could theoretically sleep, she just couldn't. Maybe because she was trying too hard. She always lay there and told herself to fall asleep before it was too late and even counted the minutes she still had left so it would even pay off at all and by doing so she exerted so much pressure on herself that she couldn't possibly shut down her mind.

Often enough she already sat at his crib, when he was still fast asleep, just waiting for him to wake up, so she could act quickly, before his cries would wake up Sasuke as well. It was pretty unfair, but there was nothing he could do at the moment. He couldn't feed him and so the sleepless hours were reserved for her. In hospital they had told her to adapt to the baby's rhythm and sleep in between the feeding times, had told her that mothers were blessed with an ability to fall asleep whenever they wanted, but with her that somehow wasn't the case.

She tried to tell herself that the lack of sleep was the reason for her emotional outbursts and then the hormones of course, but she was reluctant to resort to self-analysis for fear of what she might uncover then. It's not like she was altogether unhappy or that she just couldn't build up any connection to her son. She thought she had come to love him even, although she couldn't tell for sure. The whole concept of love was too vague and elusive. It was a feeling and every person had a different way of feeling, so how could she know that what she felt for her baby was the same thing others felt for someone and labelled with the term _love_?

But maybe she was just overthinking things. She waited for any concrete lead that would tell her '_this is how you feel'_, when something like that just didn't exist and who knew what would be left of her feelings, of her love, if she carried on questioning, dissecting and deconstructing it into minuscule, nihilistic fragments?

Sasuke had skipped on doing any missions and even training at the moment to be fully there for her and the baby and although there wasn't so much he could do, she was still glad about it. Nevertheless she couldn't get around asking herself if he was here because he wanted to be with them or because he was afraid of what she might do when she was alone with the baby.

After the nurses had told them about postpartum depression and how some mothers feel like running away or have visions of hurting themselves or their baby, he had become really alarmed about her behaviour. And fact is he was right. She did feel like running away and she did have these _visions_, but it were merely visions, dreams, and as long as she knew that and could distinguish between them and reality, it should be fine. Besides, they were usually harmless and did not contain any violence, at least not directed against the baby. There was this disturbing and unfortunately recurring nightmare, though, in which she was a child and gouged out her own eyes, but that had nothing to do with the baby.

She never told anyone in hospital about it, because she was afraid they'd think she was mental and then take the baby away from her – away from _them_. And she was a medic-nin herself, she was almost convinced that what she felt was only a result of insomnia and her changing hormone levels and she knew that many mothers felt that way in the first weeks after giving birth and so she was sure she'd somehow manage to get through this herself. It has gotten at least a little bit better lately. She was sure it had…

If only she'd get a little more sleep and have the energy to crawl out of the dark hole she had fallen into…

It was late in the afternoon now and Sayuri was lying on the couch with her baby sprawled out on her stomach, snoring lightly, whereas she hadn't slept in too long a time and yet couldn't even get herself to close her burning eyes and therewith avert them from her little son, lest he should die in her arms. If a tree falls in a forest with no one around to see it, does it make a sound then? Did her son carry on living when she wasn't there to see it? She was a nervous wreck and in spite of knowing how stupid and unrealistic these thoughts were, she couldn't keep herself from thinking them. There was too much at stake. She couldn't take any risks when it came to her defenceless offspring.

He was wearing a cute canary-yellow, fleece body suit, Sasuke hated, when she thought it suited him really well. Temari and Matsuri had bought everything for them as she had still been in hospital, it had been a nice surprise and they've been unbelievably grateful. Who knew what Sasuke would have bought, if he's had to do it all by himself?

"Sleeping again?" Sasuke entered the room and crouched down beside the couch, running a hand over his son's soft head.

"Same as always." Sayuri shrugged and dropped her hands on the couch, so she wouldn't be in the way of Sasuke's caresses.

"And you?" He asked without looking up and she wondered if he even cared.

"Obviously not." She said bitterly and stared at the patterned fabric of the couch.

At times she almost felt jealous because of all the attention the baby was getting. Everything revolved around their baby now and her own needs had to be put on hold, however urgent they were.

_Baby comes first._

It was only natural, so she just couldn't believe how she could feel this way… What a terrible, selfish person she was.

"Tired?" He asked and watched Sayuri nod mutely, still with her face turned away from him. "Try to get some sleep then."

"It's broad day." She said slowly, her voice uncommonly hard.

"When you're really tired it doesn't matter what time it is."

"So you're saying I only act like I'm tired." She narrowed her eyes into slits and with how reddened they were, she almost appeared like she was possessed by a demon. Often enough Sasuke thought that really was the case. Her behaviour was so fickle, she was oscillating between the extremes, between being extremely happy and extremely sad and she has never yet been so irritable.

"I did not say that and you know that." He sighed in annoyance, but as he saw how her lip started quivering, he wished he hadn't. "I'm only trying to help you."

And she badly needed help, professional help, but she would not hear of it. She assured him that everything was fine, when it obviously wasn't. He didn't have any doubts about her affection for their baby, she was just overwhelmed by the situation and although he tried to take the load off her as best as he could, in the end there wasn't much he could do. In the first months, the father only played a really minor role. But he would not condone her reluctance to get aid much longer. If it didn't get better within the next two weeks, this might be more than just a simple baby blues and then he would get her to hospital again, whether she wanted to or not.

"Hm…" She sucked in her bottom lip and then kissed her son's head, hiding her face in his dark, fluffy hair.

"Look who woke up…"

"Huh?" Sayuri jerked her head back abruptly and stared with wide eyes at her baby boy, who was blinking and furrowing his forehead. "Oh no, I didn't mean to wake him." She wailed with watery eyes, already bracing herself for the heart-wrenching sobs and the tremendous stores of tears, her son used in order to remind her of her guilt. Blame her for having woken him, blame her for having neglected to feed him in time, blame her for not having realized that his diapers were full – crying was his only way of communication and the sound of his sobs was almost unbearable to her. "Please don't cry."

Sasuke watched how she desperately tried to soothe him with kisses, already on edge when he was still perfectly quiet and content. "Calm down, he's just looking around."

"Huh?" She looked into Mikan's face and saw that his big, dark eyes with the unbelievably long lashes were open and not squeezed shut and brimming with tears. He looked at her even, with his head raised a little off her chest, something he had only just mastered and he was getting better at it each and every day.

"Oh…" She sighed in relief and sat up, turning him around in her arms, so he could see more of the room and especially of his parents. "Helloo…" She greeted him with a smile on her face and brushed away the tears that had never come to flow in the first place.

"He's smiling at you." Sasuke said in a soft voice and sat down next to her, before he brushed her hair over her shoulder to kiss her cheek.

"He is, isn't he?" Sayuri asked excitedly and stared at the slight upward curve on his lips that you could, with a lot of imagination, see as a smile. "He's so handsome…" She said with awe and lost herself in his dark eyes that were moving around calmly but vigilantly, in the end always drawn to the two faces looming above him.

"He's our son. What did you expect?" The Uchiha smirked proudly and offered his son a finger, which he at once caught in his tiny, but strong fist.

"Hmm…" She took her eyes off her son and focused her attention on the dark-haired man. Sasuke really was incredibly attractive; his dark hair and eyes, his pale skin, his physique, his whole physiognomy – no wonder that the whole female attention was focused on him, the second he entered a room. Mikan could call himself lucky if he inherited his looks from his father.

"You're handsome, too." She grinned and leaned to the side to place a peck on Sasuke's cheek and he quickly turned his head around, to capture her lips in a full kiss. After all it was hard enough to catch her in one of her better moments, when she was actually accessible and even cheerful. It was a long kiss, and it would have lasted even longer, if the baby hadn't started screaming, which then in turn resulted in Sayuri breaking the kiss by biting on Sasuke's lip in shock.

"I'm sorry." She gasped and switched her eyes from her crying Mikan, to Sasuke who was pressing his hand to his lip and side-glanced at her through narrowed eyes.

"Shhh… are you hungry again?" She rocked her son lightly, trying to get him to stop crying before she gently touched his chin and watched him make some sucking motions. So back she was at her new profession as living milk bottle.

"I'm really sorry." She looked at Sasuke again with a guilty look on her face, while her baby was nursing peacefully – just in time she had managed to avert a disaster, before yet more sobs could tug at her raw conscience, but now it was her boyfriend who caused her pangs of remorse. "You want me to fix it up for you?"

"No." He rolled his eyes and slumped deeper into the sofa.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He said curtly.

"You're mad at me." Sayuri murmured in a shaky voice and watched how Mikan clutched his tiny fists around her long hair, his toes curling in joy.

"I'm not…" Sasuke replied after a while, his voice sounding heavy with thoughts. "It's just… you don't have to start up the second he starts screaming. It won't harm him to wait a few seconds."

That statement only earned him an incredulous look from the violet-haired girl. How could it not harm him when she left him to starve? His life was in her hands; if only he was old enough for bottles already, she could relax a bit more, but as it was, she was the only one who could give him what he needed, so of course she started up. What else was there to do for her? When the baby started crying, they couldn't even tell why he cried – if it was only hunger, or a full diaper or maybe something serious. So how could Sasuke be so calm about this?

It struck her just then that maybe it wasn't everyone else's attention that revolved around the baby, but just her own and that to a fanatic degree.

"I don't want to do anything wrong…" She whispered after a couple of minutes, before she cleared her throat and forced herself to speak up a little. "He's our son, our responsibility… If anything happens to him it's our fault. I don't want to ruin his life already…"

"You're not going to ruin his life, Sayuri." Sasuke put a hand around her waist and placed a soothing kiss on her hair. "If at all, then your determination to do everything right will ruin yourself."

She had no idea what to say to that. It wasn't her fault she was such a wreck. If she could just relax and shut off her mind and all the worries, she would gladly do so, but it's not like that was an option.

"Here, he's done." Sayuri lifted her son and looked into his blurry features, before she passed him to Sasuke. Once she had, she reached for the big box of handkerchiefs on the coffee table and started wiping her eyes.

She was like a leaky faucet at the moment, it was really terrible. She couldn't even keep back long enough to leave the room, so Sasuke wouldn't see her cry. She had no chance to hide her moods from him. Accordingly, it was understandable that he was getting worried by now. Maybe the crying of her son was contagious… There was some sort of pattern there…

Still snivelling, she leaned back into the sofa and raised her knees up to satisfy her need for just holding on to something. Curled up tightly, she started massaging her temples, to stave off an oncoming headache. It was getting increasingly difficult to hold herself together. Knowing that she had a good reason to try, changed only very little about that, but at least it kept her from giving up right away.

"C'mon let's get you out of here." Sasuke got up and planted himself right in front of her, giving her a challenging look.

"W-what?" She stammered, her eyes wide with shock.

He wanted her out of here? With how irritable she was all the time that didn't come as a surprise. He was probably fed up with having her destroy his happiness with her moods, so no wonder he wanted to get rid of her.

"You need some fresh air, so let's take a walk." He explained and watched with a frown on his face how Sayuri sighed in relief.

So he didn't want her out of his life but just out of the house. Unbelievable how paranoid she had become.

"No…" She shook her head uncomfortably and looked at her son in Sasuke's arms. "What if he gets hungry again and starts screaming?"

That's what happened the last time they've taken a walk. He was hungry and his diapers were full and they've been pretty far away from home still. Even though they had hurried, it had taken them more than ten minutes to get here, in which Mikan had screamed like they were abusing him and everyone had stared at them already, probably thinking what an incapable mother she was to not be able to keep her baby from crying.

"You only just fed him and we don't need to walk for hours."

"B-but it's winter."

"There are 20°C outside." Sasuke rolled his eyes, not letting her get off that easily.

"B-but I don't want to…" She slung her arms tighter around her legs and buried her face in her knees. "Just look at me…"

She wasn't only referring to her tear-stained face and her tousled hair, but also her figure. She would have never thought that she was this touchy when it came to her weight, but then she's never yet had any problems with it. She was one of those lucky individuals who could basically eat whatever they wanted without gaining a gram of fat, however now it was different. She hasn't gained spectacularly much weight during her pregnancy and after giving birth a good part of it had vanished already – or at least that's what her scale told her. She wasn't so very far away from her old weight and yet she looked chubby, or at least her stomach did. She must have lost all her muscles, which would explain the discrepancy between what her scale claimed and what the ever so honest mirror showed her. And she had no idea how to fight the flab, with her being too tired for any sort of exercise.

At the moment she really hated being in her skin. She wanted to be anyone but herself really.

"You've just given birth. It's a tough time now, so it's only natural that you look tired." Sasuke said calmly.

"That's not what I meant."

"Then I don't understand you."

He really didn't, but he still knew what she was thinking. Her self-confidence had hit a new low. There was a lot of fixing to be done, but he just didn't know how to do it. Often enough, however well-meant his words were, they only ended up upsetting her even more. He was lacking the sensitivity to know how to deal with her.

"I didn't think you would…"

Not he. It was impossible for any doubts or insecurities to get past the immensely thick walls of his ego. Although in the past months, there have been a few exceptions to that rule…

"You shouldn't care so much about what other people think about you."

Well, it's not like she could help it. In fact she rather saw herself through other people's eyes than her own, because they were usually a little less critical and more lenient with their judgement than she was herself.

"But-"

"-No." He cut her off. "C'mon now, it'll make you feel better."

"Hmm…" She grumbled sceptically. Maybe he was right and some fresh air before going to bed would make it easier for her to fall asleep and it was at least a little more exercise than just lying around. "I'll wash my face… Can you put another pair of socks on his feet and maybe his hands, too… Just in case… Oh, and don't forget a cap."

"Hn." Sasuke nodded and kissed her as she got up, before she rushed off into the bathroom and tried to wash away the traces of her current misery.

They didn't have a pram yet, so Sayuri put her son in a baby sling, cherishing the close contact to him. In case he woke up or should for who knows what reason stop breathing all of a sudden, she would notice it much faster than she would, in case he was lying in a carriage. Besides, she kept him warm and it was comforting for both of them to feel each others' heartbeat and yet, every time they were about to leave the house, she was almost overwhelmed by the fragility of her precious charge. If it wasn't for Sasuke, she probably wouldn't take a single step into the danger zone beyond their four walls.

"Are you ready?" Sasuke asked after a couple of minutes and after roaming her eyes through the room again to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, Sayuri nodded and took a reluctant step into his direction. He stopped her then, put his hand on the small of her back and pushed her forward lightly to kiss her lips.

He wasn't really good with words; he couldn't sweet-talk her into feeling better, so he at least tried to do so by showing affection and maybe reassure her that way, because even though she might not see it, to him she was still every bit as beautiful as she has always been.

"Okay. Let's go then…" She smiled, as she slowly pulled her lips away from his and wrapped her arms around her baby, who was weirdly enough still awake. Maybe looking forward to seeing a bit more than the ever same room and the ever same faces, since up to now he usually slept through their walks.

She opened the door and took the first step out, when she gasped suddenly and spun around on her heels, as a kunai flew into the wall, right beside the door frame. Breathing heavily and with her face frozen in a look of shock, she clutched her baby tightly to her chest, while Sasuke had already rushed past her, looking for the thrower, who had just gotten far too close to his family than should have been possible for anyone. There was no one in sight and so he turned back around and looked at his girlfriend.

"You okay?" He asked, his voice harsh, still upset by what had just happened, harmless as it had been, since the kunai had missed them by half a metre and the tag of paper attached to it made him sure it hadn't been directed at them to begin with, which didn't make a difference to the fact that it could have ended badly.

"Y-yes." Sayuri stammered and turned back around to him, still with her arms wrapped protectively around her son and shock clearly written on her face.

Sasuke scanned every millimetre of them, searching for any traces of harm, but as he didn't find anything he nodded and took a deep breath, calming himself, before he pulled the dagger out of the wall and ripped the sheet of paper off its hilt.

"What is it?" Sayuri asked and forced herself to loosen her iron grip on her son a little, before she'd end up squashing him.

"It's from Konoha." Sasuke said in a neutral voice and his face was too blank to tell if it were bad news or good ones.

"And…?"

"We are summoned to the Hokage." His voice had a slight edge now and the way he crumpled the letter in his hand left no more doubt that it were bad news. "They want to deal with my case."

So they haven't been fast enough. Things in Konoha had settled and now they were tending to their unfinished business. It was bad news indeed, and yet Sayuri couldn't help but feel excited.

So she'd see her home and her friends again after all and she could show them her son and brag with him. The problem was only how they would leave it again. Would Sasuke leave the village as a free man or a fugitive? Would he even leave it at all?

Bad news indeed…

…

…


	48. Journey

**48. Journey**

The order to return to Konoha could definitely be categorised as bad news, catastrophically bad news, and yet it did nothing but lift Sayuri's mood in the long term. It was sort of scary though; so many things could go wrong, once they reached the Hidden Leaf. They could decide that Sasuke's actions have been directed against the village (which was true) and make him a nuke-nin again – an S-rank criminal, due to his strength and his background – and as such he'll either be terminated, locked away or in case he should manage to run away, he'd be hunted by ANBU – they'd both be. They might try to use her and their son as hostage in order to get Sasuke to capitulate or they'd regard her as a traitor, too, because of staying with Sasuke.

If things in Konoha turned out badly, then there were hard times ahead of them, so how come she was so looking forward to their visit?

At first Sasuke had meant to go alone and leave them here under Gaara's protection, to make sure that even if something should happen to him, they'd be safe. Gaara would have definitely complied with his request, in case Sasuke had asked. It was really surprising, but the two of them were getting along really well lately. It's not like they were friends, not in the way Sasuke and Naruto were friends, but they respected each other – it was one of these male bonding things, she'd probably never understand. Either way, she had vehemently refused.

This was her one chance to see her home and her friends again, before they'd start with their new life and he couldn't take that away from her. Besides, what if he didn't come back and she'd be alone here in Suna? He had told her that in case they should decide against him, it would be easier for him to escape when he was alone, and as long as Gaara looked after them, they'd be safe and he'd come to pick them up as soon as he could. From how he had said that, this _soon_ had sounded like anything but a short period of time, which is usually designated by that term. Weeks would have been the smallest, possible unit of time, but it had rather sounded like months or even years. And what if he then came to the glorious decision that his life wouldn't be fit for his family and he'd do the martyr and never come back, so they could live in peace at least?

No way would she let that happen! She had tried to assure him that it might soften both Tsunade and the elders, if he came with his son. Then they would not decide about the fate of a single person, but a whole family, including an innocent child. Knowing about this was what had led Tsunade and even Neji to vouch for him and give him the freedom to live in Suna, rather than a prison cell, but Sasuke had been entirely insensible to reason.

Madara's words, truthful or not, still ran too deep. A drop of ink suffices to turn a glass of water blue and the remaining hint of doubt was enough to taint his whole mind. Konoha took his family away before, who told him they wouldn't do it again? He tried to make her understand; understand the gravity of his predicament, but Sayuri would not listen. Not even as he told her about how their baby was too young still for such a long journey, especially seeing as it was winter, and he couldn't comprehend how she, overanxious as she was, could expose their son to such a danger (and here he hadn't just referred to the temperatures). The answer to that was simple: she didn't see the danger. She idealised Konoha and the people living in it and so she did not believe that they would let them down.

Konoha shinobi fought for one another, they did not leave their comrades behind and in spite of everything that happened, they were still Leaf ninja and so she didn't see the risks. The fact that they were all covering him already should be proof enough. Aside from that, in the note both their names were mentioned; they were _both_ supposed to go to Konoha and she was sure it would look suspicious if she didn't show up. Sasuke was of a completely different opinion though, considering that she was the mother of a one month old baby.

It went on and on and ended with them not talking to each other for two full days; Sasuke feeling like ramming his fist through the wall in anger and irritation, but not doing so, Sayuri feeling like crying because of both frustration and sadness and doing exactly that. It was definitely in the top five of the worst fights they've ever had and it struck Sasuke then that he really couldn't leave her alone. Unstable as she was at the moment, he couldn't possibly leave her to her own devices; he couldn't have squared that with his conscience.

_We're in this together._

That's what she had said and as it seemed he had no choice but to let her have her will, although he would have rather spared her of any potential trouble or the disappointment of seeing that her beloved home was very well capable of turning its back on them after all. Maybe he was a little too protective of her, but then it's not like he had a choice, because she certainly wasn't able to protect herself.

They wrote a letter to Tsunade then, explaining their situation and asking her to wait for winter to end, so they could travel to Konoha safely. The response came rather swiftly: March. They had time until the first of March to get to the Hidden Leaf and in case they should fail to meet the deadline, they would be brought to Konoha by force and then their chance at being pardoned was rather slim.

They agreed, knowing that requesting a further delay might be pushing their luck, but February is a rather fickle month, so they could only hope that it would be mild and dry – unlike last year. The ANBU presence had increased drastically now. They apparently wanted to make sure they wouldn't have a chance to flee. It didn't seem like they trusted them, but that wasn't exactly surprising.

Now it was February, and it was dry and really warm, but then it was always dry and warm in Suna, so that didn't really count… Mikan was four months old now and he had slowly but surely adapted to the day-and-night rhythm of his parents and all other people… He usually slept through the nights now and they had started to introduce him to the bottle, which he didn't like at all and only accepted when he was really hungry, starving almost, and Sayuri was usually incapable of not giving in, when her son was howling.

The situation had eased a bit and taken on a peculiar sense of normalcy, of routine even. In the past three months, they had become the family they had hoped to be. After the message from Konoha and after they had settled their quarrel and decided they would go there together, around that time, Sayuri had managed to get the hang of her postpartum depression and with that her sleeping issues had diminished slightly or maybe it happened the other way around. Who knew? But fact is it had gotten better and that is what counted.

It was the day before their departure and there was a certain tension in the air. Not necessarily in a negative way, more like semi-positive uncertainty mixed with excitement. At least on Sayuri's part; Sasuke was only tense, although he tried not to let it show. He was lying on the floor with several maps spread out in front of him, still busy with planning their route.

For a shinobi it was a three-day journey from Suna to Konoha, but they wouldn't go the direct way. They would have to make sure to reach a village by nightfall, since they couldn't spend the cold nights outside with their son. They'd only move during the daytime hours and so it seemed as though their trip would take at least a week, probably longer. A foretaste of what was yet to come. Sayuri was almost as excited about their first sort of holiday as a family, as she was about reaching her home.

Right now she was standing in the kitchen, preparing their provisions for the way. They had packed most of their things already, mainly clothes they would not wear and pieces of furniture – things they would not need during their journey, which is why they had stored them in scrolls. They would carry the important things (food, bottles, diapers) in their backpacks.

Mikan had been jittery all day and she wondered if he was vigilant enough already, to realize that something big was happening around him. It was hard to imagine, seeing as he had been a tiny, helpless thing only a few months ago, but he had developed so profoundly in the past few weeks; he was still tiny, but now he was able to store his food so he didn't wake up from hunger all night and he could roll and even do some sort of army-like crawl, but never over more than a metre. Not yet. He always wanted to move around, so it might be hard for him to keep still during their trip, which might become a problem.

She turned off the stove, after having spent the last three hours cooking things that were easy to transport and wouldn't go bad too soon. She left the food simmering in the different pots and pans and turned around to look at her two men, both sprawled out on the living room floor. Sasuke studying his maps with a grim expression on his face, Mikan lying on a blanket next to him and waving around with a plush rattle, while cooing and laughing happily. It was amazing how much he had grown within the last months. It was only last week that they had first heard the sound of his laughter and now he was gifting them with it every day. He seemed like a really happy baby and not an unhappy my-parents-ruined-my-life baby and that was really relieving.

Sayuri washed her hands and made sure the stove was really turned off, before she walked to her son and knelt down before him. She ruffled his by now fuller hair and pressed a kiss on his head and he at once used that chance to reach for her hair and pull at it. The pained sounds coming from her always amused the tiny sadist. He was like a pit bull who wouldn't let go once his jaws had clamped down – fortunately it were just his tiny, chubby fists, though.

She got him to let go by tickling him and then only watched his big, toothless laugh adoringly. He loved to have attention and he has found a lot of ways to get exactly that and not only from them, but also from strangers. He just had this charming smile and the sweetest laugh she ever heard and that always caused everyone to stop and stare. She was unbelievably proud of him, they both were.

She still had problems to imagine that she actually had a share in something as perfect as their little son. But it became more apparent now. She could see a lot of his father in him. He had Sasuke's hair and his eyes, but her nose and she'd also say her earlobes and then they were both cry-babies of course.

She kissed him another time, with her hair secured behind her shoulders, before she sat up and turned her attention to Sasuke. He was fully concentrated on his task and didn't seem to be aware of anything going on around him. There was a permanent frown on his face and dark rings under his eyes. He hadn't slept much the last nights. He didn't really look forward to what lay ahead of them in the immediate future.

"How about taking a break?" She asked in a quiet voice and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

"I'm almost done." Sasuke replied curtly without bothering to look up from the numerous colourful plans, showing a miniature version of the continent.

"Yeah… like you were almost done two hours ago…" Sayuri rolled her eyes and gently pushed Sasuke's face towards hers. His eyes were reddened slightly; he had obviously overdone it with all the reading. He had some trouble with his vision, although he would never admit that. But she could see from time to time, how he squinted his eyes when he had to focus on smaller things for a longer time. He didn't tell her how bad it was, but then he denied he was having these problems in the first place, so it wasn't surprising. Nevertheless, he never pushed her away, when she volunteered to use her chakra to ease the strain a bit and work against the headaches it must be giving him. She had more than enough experience with that herself, so she knew exactly by now what to do about it.

"C'mon…" She insisted calmly, but persistently. "Five minutes. Please…"

"Hmm…" Sasuke sighed in annoyance, but rolled around, nevertheless, and rested his head on Sayuri's knees. She smiled at him and placed her hands on his eyes, letting her healing chakra run through them and this time it was a languorous sigh that passed his slightly parted lips.

"Let's just call it a day, huh? Tomorrow will be toughest, it's best when we're well rested."

It would doubtlessly be tough for her, but probably not for him. He hadn't spent the last months lying around and watching his muscles and stamina wane away. Tomorrow they would have to pass through the desert; there weren't any localities anywhere on their way, so they'd have to be quick in order to reach the first village before it was night. Even in winter the days in Suna were really warm, but once it was dark, the temperatures sunk drastically and they were anxious about exposing their son to these extreme climatic conditions. Once they had left the desert behind, it would be calmer, more like hiking, or a sightseeing tour maybe – she really looked forward to that part.

"You think you're up to it?" He put her hands down and scrutinised her closely.

"I don't know…" She shrugged uncomfortably. "I'll try…"

"Hn." He nodded and sat up. "You two go to sleep already." He looked at his son, who was lying on his back, still holding on to his rattle, and giving it a lazy shake from time to time, while his eyes were half shut already. "I'll be right there."

"Promise?"

Instead of responding, he kissed her forehead, before he turned back to his maps, trying to find the shortest and yet safest way to Konoha. He was convinced that they'd be followed by ANBU the entire time, and he wasn't sure if it was better if they walked through open plains, so they could see them easily, without any need to get too close to them, or if they should walk through heavily vegetated areas, which would then force them to stay closer to them in order to not lose sight of them. In other circumstances he'd probably choose the second variant, a ninja would always, instinctively, prefer an area providing better visual cover, but right now he was sure that keeping their pursuers at a distance was the better option.

Sayuri was just about to get up, when another thing crossed her mind and she turned back to Sasuke again.

"Can you tell me your version of the story again?" She asked in a low voice, thinking it better to do this as long as they were still here in this house, for fear of being overheard, but even in these apparently safe four walls, she felt sort of uncomfortable and couldn't help but look out of the window every now and then. "Just so in case someone asks me, I won't say anything wrong."

"Hn." Sasuke nodded, raising his head again. "Madara approached me during this one mission and asked me to join him. I got him to give me some time and did research on him and the things he told me. Since he is a part of my clan I felt a responsibility to get rid of him by myself and for that I first had to gain his trust and make it look as though I really joined him, so I'd have time to analyse him and prepare my assault. I couldn't tell anyone in Konoha about it, because I didn't want to drag anyone into my business and because I don't trust Danzô and with his position, he would have definitely gotten to know about it."

"So basically, you did all of this because you regarded Madara as a family-intern problem."

"Basically, yes."

"That makes a whole lot of sense…"

"Tze… How so?" Sasuke furrowed his brows. He has never heard anything more stupid than this story. It was so hypocritical of him to claim he did all of this to rid the world of the oldest Uchiha, when in reality he had been close to destroying the world along with him. And even if he hadn't gone this far, he would have, without a doubt, destroyed the village, they were now crawling back to, begging for mercy. How did that make sense?

"Don't know… Just sounds like something you'd do…" Sayuri shrugged, but as she saw Sasuke's expression darken, she went into more detail. "You always separate your clan from everything else and you tend to think you have to do everything by yourself, so yeah, it fits."

He still didn't look too happy about her words and did not share her opinion, either, but then the situation was alleviated as Mikan wormed towards them like a tiny soldier in a trench, using his arms to pull himself forwards and straining as it must have been, once he reached his parents he greeted them with a wide smile.

"Oh, hello." Sayuri smiled and tickled her son's chin, while he started reaching for the maps in front of him. "You wanna scheme, too, huh?"

He started pounding his flat hands on the plans, looking utterly concentrated while doing so.

"Is that where you want to go?"

"In the middle of the ocean?" Sasuke smirked and carefully loosened his son's fists from the map, before he'd rip it to pieces. "We'll have to work on his map-reading skills, before we let him decide."

"Or maybe he just really wants to do some swimming…" She grinned and picked him up in her arms, tickling his stomach. "Shall we take a bath, huh?"

He laughed happily, although he seemed a bit overstrung already and again tried to catch strands of Sayuri's hair, but she intercepted his tiny hand in time and waved it at Sasuke. "Goodnight, daddy."

"Goodnight."

…

…

At seven in the morning the next day, right as the first rays of the sun lit the clear morning sky, they stood in front of one of the gaps in the high mountain face surrounding the whole Sand Village. After saying goodbye and expressing their gratitude to the Sand Siblings, who had all gotten up to wish them good luck on their journey and assure them they could come back to live here whenever they liked (except when they were indeed classed as nuke-nin, since accommodating wanted criminals would cause Suna's relationship to Konoha to suffer drastically), they took off.

They took as few breaks as they could, but with an insatiable, leaky and not to forget overexcited baby in tow, it wasn't so easy. Somewhat around afternoon they were practically in the middle of nowhere. Lost in a phantasmagorical juxtaposition of complementary colours, where the blue of the sky collided with the yellow of the sand, not leaving room for anything else. There were no more hills, or rocks or even cactuses, only sand and more sand; from time to time they even caught sight of their pursuers, but to their relief, they were really far away, not even in earshot and it weren't many either, just three, which made their presence appear a little less menacing.

Under the glare of the relentless sun, it was actually pretty warm, in spite of the season, but it was also pretty windy, which is why Sayuri had to keep their fractious son hidden under her cloak, to shield his little face from the masses of sand that were whipped their way. She just hoped it wouldn't turn into a full-blown sandstorm.

The first stage of their journey didn't deserve all the excitement they had felt about it. It was an unpleasant but calm trip, with _calm_ meaning that there haven't been any major difficulties. Considering the noise level, it was anything but calm. Sasuke and Sayuri were quiet most of the time, rather keeping their mouths shut, before they ended up devouring a good load of sand and dust. Mikan, though, was almost permanently crying. It was boring for him without having anything to do and with no one having either the time or the possibility to react to his whining. He couldn't even watch the landscape. So he mainly cried most of the time, until he was so exhausted that he fell asleep and only when they found a small cave or at least a rock formation that served as a windshield, did they take a break and fed and pampered him a little to make up for the hours of boredom and maybe to calm their guilty conscience.

His cries still were the most terrible sounds Sayuri has ever heard and it broke her heart in two to listen to him and not be able to do anything about it. Once the sun set and they still hadn't reached the first inn, every single one of them was a nervous wreck. Mikan was crying and struggling in her hold the whole time. Sasuke was getting impatient, now that they had at length left behind the desert and were passing through an eerie wood, which had caused their followers to close up to them. Sayuri had trouble with keeping her crying baby still and could barely keep on her feet any longer and then it had gotten fairly cold – icy by Suna's standards – and it worried her, because when she was already freezing, then Mikan, who had never yet experienced any temperatures below cosy 20°C, had to do even worse and she was scared he'd get sick. That is why she held him even closer to her chest, without paying any attention to his protests, until they reached a small locality, a short time before midnight.

The following days were much nicer; they tried to ignore that there was an ANBU squad on their heels and took their time as they passed through many a small village and beautiful landscapes. It was the fifth day and they were close to the border of the Fire Country now, but they had decided to stay in the village they had reached around noon and resume their journey the following day.

These days almost gave the illusion of peacefulness. They passed through woods and fields, past rivers and lakes and strolled through every tiny village they came across. Maybe it was a means of procrastinating; in spite of their feelings towards the destination of their trip – Sayuri's excitement and Sasuke's let's-just-get-it-over-with attitude – it didn't change that they were anxious about what would happen once they reached their hometown.

The sun was beginning to retreat over the treetops, turning the landscape pastel, with the milky trails of mist that crawled out from among the hollows of the mountains and obscured the ripples of the sea, in front of their hotel. It was a really nice, but expensive place, containing a restaurant and even a spa area, Sayuri was visiting at the moment, while Sasuke looked after their son. After a hot bath and a relaxing massage, Sayuri felt like a new person and went back to their room. It was a traditionally japanese room, with a lot of wood, and brown, white and grey and of course a paper sliding door leading to a porch, from where you had a look at the beautiful garden.

Dressed in one of the blue cotton kimono, the hotel had provided them with, Sayuri strolled through the three rooms that were theirs until ten o'clock the next day, in search for her two men. She found them outside then, Sasuke sitting at the end of a wooden pier at the hazy lake, with Mikan in his arms, or so she guessed from his posture.

She put on a pair of wooden geta, also property of the hotel, and stepped through the slightly damp grass, until she reached the dark-haired man and sat down next to him, letting her feet tangle just a hand's breadth above the murky water surface.

Mikan was sleeping in Sasuke's arms, snoring lightly. He, too, had come to enjoy the last days of their trip. They were in no more hurry and so they could watch the landscape and all the wild animals, or they took breaks in small taverns, where he smiled at every stranger passing their table and caused especially older women to stop and coddle him, telling him what a handsome boy he was – with all the compliments he was receiving he'd sure grow up to have an ego that could keep up with that of his father.

Sayuri pulled down his cap so it covered his ears properly and then slipped her arm through Sasuke's, resting her head on his broad shoulder. A sense of contentedness surrounded her like a warm blanket, driving out the cold of their surroundings. If it could always be like this…

"You smell like a huge flower."

"Huh?" Sayuri looked up and tried to read in Sasuke's face if that had been a positive or negative assessment. She had no idea what she smelled like herself; her nose still hadn't recovered from the sensory overload of smells within the spa. "Does it bother you?"

"No." He shook his head and brought his face closer. "It's nice."

They kissed briefly and then turned their eyes back to the front, watching tendrils of mist drift across the smooth water surface.

"Now we're at the sea after all…" Sayuri whispered softly and snuggled closer to Sasuke, soaking up his warmth, his scent, his presence. He did not smell like flowers, or perfume or anything that wasn't him; he only smelled like himself, he always did, and she was glad about it, because of all the memories and feelings she associated with it.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded thoughtfully. "Could you imagine living like that?"

"…" Sayuri gazed down at their son and rubbed her thumb over his upper arm. "I don't know… It's too early to tell…"

She didn't want to tell him that she couldn't imagine it. It was nice, it really was, and she loved that sense of intimacy their trip conveyed; it was only the three of them against the rest of the world, wandering through the rest of the world. There was something dreamlike about the calm hours they spent after a tiring day of marching across the country, but doing so for the rest of their lives?

That couldn't work. They couldn't raise their child like that. They'd need a fixed home and he'd have to go to school. They couldn't drag him from one place to the next and disable him from ever making friends and where would they get the money? At the moment that wasn't a problem, but if they had to pay for hotel rooms, every single night, they'd soon run dry. And in case they really became nuke-nin they couldn't even settle down anywhere and how should they earn any money then, other than by actually becoming criminals?

No, she definitely couldn't imagine living like that.

"You've always been so proud of your clan and wanted to restore its reputation."

"So?"

"A clan of vagabonds doesn't sound too glorious to me." Sayuri murmured hesitantly, knowing that she was grazing a sore spot. "The Uchiha are known to be a part of Konoha. It's where your clan belonged. You even lived in the house of your dead parents just because you felt obliged to and now you want to abandon your history altogether?"

_It's not a question of 'can' – it's something I have to do._

She was glad that he had begun to close the chapter of his past, but it didn't seem right that he tried to deny that he had a past at all.

"We had that already…" Sasuke said dismissively, his eyes narrowed and his jaw set tight.

"I know but-"

"And didn't you say you'd go wherever I wanted to?" Sasuke cut in.

"Yes. And I mean it. Where you go, I go. And this isn't a request, although we do need to have a real home. In another village then… I wouldn't ask you to return to Konoha, I'm just trying to understand you." She had given up on trying to make him change his mind; she knew when she was fighting a losing battle, but that still didn't keep him from reacting rather harsh. "Madara lied to you-"

"-we don't know that." He interrupted her sharply.

"But it's very probable, so let's assume he did. What reason do you have then, not to go to Konoha?"

"There are various reasons." He answered cryptically.

"Like…?"

"Like the fact that I wanted to destroy the Hidden Leaf." He said bitterly, tensing noticeably. "My goal was to kill the elders, but I would have supported Madara with his plan and I knew exactly what that meant. I knew that it would have cost the life of many innocent people, even children and still I didn't falter."

"Knowing what it means doesn't mean you could have done it. I don't think you could…"

"Pfft." He snorted and rolled his eyes. He's been out of his mind, blinded by hatred. The way he had been back then, he would have been capable of quite a lot of things, far worse still than this. He almost let her die – how much more proof did she need?

"And you did falter… otherwise we wouldn't be here now." She gave him a weak smile. "There's nothing for you to worry about. You're not the same as back then. You're a father now. You have a son and… and you have me." She shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "That's something, isn't it? You're no longer alone."

"I altered but in the core I'm still the same."

In the end people don't change. It's just the situation that is different now.

"How come you can't accept that you may have a good core and that it were these bad things that went against your nature?"

To her, Sasuke's essence was pure and untainted. All he needed was some love and commitment. He needed someone to help him wash away all the dirt he had gathered in the past years to reveal all the ugly bruises underneath and help him heal.

Sasuke however had a completely different idea of himself. He rather saw himself like an apple, healthy and flawless from the outside, while his insides were rotten and teeming with maggots. It was only a matter of time until his whole being would collapse, decay and ultimately fall victim to the evil he's been born with. His clan was nothing to be proud of, but he would change that. He was determined to erase the past in favour of a better future. He would recreate the Uchiha-clan. It would be a strong clan with its members being blessed with both physical, same as mental strength. There would be no hunt for blood. No brothers killing each other for power. The bitter past would remain secret; it was redundant in their new life.

"Because that's not how it is. I never did anything I didn't want to do. I've had my doubts, but they were dispersed, otherwise I wouldn't have acted."

"Then why did you turn on Madara?"

"… Because the doubts returned."

"See? You only act out of conviction. That's a positive thing."

Only that his convictions haven't exactly been favourable. He made quite a lot of bad choices in the past and maybe it was too easy to say he just didn't know any better. You can't rely on the past as an excuse to wreak havoc in the present, but in the end he has always come to senses before anyone could take serious harm from his actions, because deep down inside, he knew that what he did was wrong, so deep down that it took some time for him to pick up on that tiny voice of his conscience.

"You only see what you want to see." Sasuke rolled his eyes, wishing she'd finally stop. He hated it when she talked about him like he was a good person, when he knew exactly that he has been anything but that. Not in the past…

"That's not it." Sayuri murmured softly and reached for his hand that was resting on the side of Mikan's leg, but he wouldn't squeeze it back. "Maybe I'm just a little less biased than you are. I know that you did bad things, but that doesn't diminish your positive traits. You're kind, reliable, caring and… I… love… you."

"Hm…" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and looked into her flushed face. "You love me?"

She nodded sheepishly, leading Sasuke to close his eyes, while the corners of his lips curled up in an amused smirk.

"I do." She nodded again somewhat sobered by his reaction, but as he opened his eyes again, she could see a gleeful spark in them. "And I wouldn't love a bad person, would I?"

Actually she hasn't been sure about it, but the moment the words left her lips, she knew them to be true. She really loved him.

"I wouldn't vouch for that." His smirk grew wider and he placed a hand on her hair, pushing her closer, before he captured her lips in a long kiss.

"So you love me." He breathed against her lips, once they had parted and Sayuri was well aware of the haughty quality of his voice; he didn't seem as surprised about hearing it, as she had been.

"You're so full of yourself." She rolled her eyes and pinched his side, but he just wrapped an arm around her back and leaned down to kiss her again, but she turned her face away in time.

"But I have a condition."

"You have a condition for loving me?"

"Uh-huh. Promise that it will always feel like this."

"Like what exactly?"

"Like there is nothing between us. No lies, no secrets, no pretences. Like nothing could ever happen and destroy what we have."

Admittedly the previous conversation hasn't been so very nice, but they had openly talked about these serious topics and he had truthfully replied to her – that is what she meant. She was no longer so naïve to think that love was only about sunshine and rainbows; it was about being able to be oneself, without being afraid that one's little self might not be good enough.

"…I don't know what's yet to come-"

"-Promise that you'll do whatever you can to make things stay this way." She gave him one of these open looks again, her eyes as clear as the water of a sea. It had to be low-tide, because he could clearly see the usually obscure ground.

"I promise." He said softly and raised a smile on her face.

"Me too." She kissed him without ever stopping to smile. "See? Now it doesn't matter what happens next. We'll somehow make the best of it…"

"Never doubted that." He sounded so certain, as though he had really never had any concerns about their future. His confidence was definitely reassuring, contagious almost.

"It's getting cold. Let's go back inside." Sasuke said after a while and helped her to her feet.

It was dark already, but the hotel complex was all lighted up and made the fog almost appear as though it was glowing, too. Up to now they've been lucky with the weather; no rain, no snow, and the temperatures were at least bearable by day, at night that was completely different, but that didn't really concern them anymore.

Once back inside in their nice suite, they put Mikan into the crib they had requested and ordered their dinner. They couldn't let him sleep in their bed. It was far too dangerous for someone as tiny and delicate as him. A carelessly flung arm had the potential to snuff out his life like a birthday candle and that before there has ever been a candle on his birthday cake.

After having eaten, Sasuke stood at the window, maybe in search for any darker spots in the overall darkness, while Sayuri roamed through their room, especially the bathroom, investigating all the tiny porcelain pots and jars, containing different sorts of creams and lotions and even hair serums – only expensive looking things. She sat down on the excessively large bed and, although she had only just gone through a whole spa treatment, she couldn't help but try some of them out, at least the nice smelling ones.

"You think they'll notice when a few of them are missing?"

Sasuke turned around to her, not knowing what she was talking about, so she picked up a few of the creams and showed them to him.

"I doubt so." He shrugged, but Sayuri still seemed to have scruples.

"But wouldn't that be… like… _stealing_?"

"Tze… with how much we pay for this room they can call themselves lucky if we don't take the whole furniture with us."

"Hmm… I do like that flower pot." Sayuri murmured and directed another investigating glance through the whole room. "And the crib is also nicer than the one we have."

"We are already regarded as criminals… might as well do something for it…"

"That's not true…" Sayuri wailed, not finding anything amusing about this. "Not yet…"

"…"

"You think… in case they'll let us go, we could from time to time visit Konoha? Maybe once a year or so… just to see how everyone is doing…"

"That wouldn't be good." Sasuke sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed right in front of her, their knees touching. "Don't you think that saying goodbye once is hard enough already?"

"But… it would only be a simple goodbye then… Not a final one…"

"There is nothing worse than unfinished things."

He knew that better than anyone else. His whole life was marked by unfinished things and the tormenting wait for something to happen, the dread that something would happen, was far worse than knowing it was over.

"…I like those two." Sayuri changed the topic and lifted two small pots, before rubbing their contents on each of her wrists. "Which one do you like better?

She held her wrists in front of Sasuke's face, so he could smell at them, but Sasuke only closed his hands around them and pulled her against his chest.

"Keep them all." He murmured and began placing kisses under her earlobe, tracing his way down the length of her neck and back up again.

"Trying to tempt me to become a criminal, too, huh?" She wrapped her arms around him and tilted her head a little to give him more access to her neck, enjoying his caresses with half-closed eyes.

"Does it work?" He pulled back to look straight into her face.

Instead of responding, Sayuri threw the different creams into her open backpack, which was lying on the floor next to the bed, before she gave Sasuke a curious look, watching a smug smirk spread on his lips. He leaned forward again, pressing his lips on hers, forceful enough to push her down on the mattress, his weight good and heavy on top of her. Stifling maybe, but she wouldn't have wanted it any different; it made her feel vulnerable and yet safe in a way she couldn't put into words.

Her fingers glided over his back, tracing his hard muscles, which were hidden under the fabric of his clothes. She barely knew what she was doing, it has been such a long, long time and she fully lost herself in the ecstasy of his kiss, the warmth of his mouth, the ragged sounds of his breathing, the feeling of his fingertips. She loved all these little things, and most of all she loved to have him so close to her that she could feel his heartbeat even through his clothes, pounding calm and steady against her own fluttering heart.

His lips didn't leave hers for a second, although what little breath they had left was already steaming like geysers. He was not gentle, but she didn't mind. His hands tugged at the collar of her kimono, pushing it aside and it was that moment that Mikan started crying.

They pulled apart at once, sighing in annoyance, but didn't move otherwise, frozen in place. Sayuri still with her fingers buried in Sasuke's hair, Sasuke still with his hands curled around the fabric of her clothes.

"He does that on purpose." Sasuke groaned and gazed from the corner of his eye at the crib at the other end of the huge room and Sayuri couldn't help but grin about how frustrated he looked.

"Guess he wants to make sure to remain an only child…"

"He can sure forget about that."

Sayuri at once dropped her hands and raised an eyebrow with her mouth slightly agape, not knowing what to say to that.

"Someday…" Sasuke shrugged and kissed her cheek soothingly, before he got up to get his son.

Ever since they had started giving Mikan the bottle, the whole feeding part was Sasuke's job, since he rather accepted the bottle from his father than from her. Although he was nevertheless reluctant to do so and threw a tantrum each and every time, until he was too exhausted to go on. He was definitely stubborn.

"But only if you take care of the whole pregnancy thing – I sure won't do that again." Sayuri called out after a while and pulled her clothes in place again, before she slipped under the thick duvet, curling up within a heap of the softest feathers she has ever felt. When she closed her eyes, she could imagine she was sleeping in a fleecy cloud.

Mikan always chose the right moment to interrupt. Although they were together almost around the clock, they barely found time for each other any more. The time they were spending together was just completely different. It wasn't just the two of them anymore. Now there was their son who managed to control their daily life with his screaming. Especially her life. She was the mother, the one who used to nurse him until lately, changed his diaper, told him stories, sat at his crib until he had fallen asleep, the one who'd jump up and drop everything at even the tiniest sound coming from him.

She wouldn't have thought it would be like this. It was a full time job, just as expected and it was exhausting and tiresome and she was always on edge and afraid and yet it didn't matter to her. Somehow complaining didn't even cross her mind. Not anymore… It just took one look into his pretty face or hearing the sound of his laughter and she was filled with a warmth that just made up for all that. She couldn't really imagine living without him anymore, or she could imagine it and actually she might have liked it better if he had waited like ten more years before entering this world, but now that he was there she couldn't imagine giving him away any more.

By the time Sasuke had managed to put their son to sleep again, and it had taken quite some time, Sayuri was already half-asleep. He crawled under the blanket and ran his fingers over the side of Sayuri's face, which was turned away from him.

"Huh?" She rolled around lazily and had a hard time to keep her eyes open. They were walking around all day, surrounded by fresh air and her sleeping problems had become a thing of the past. The second she lay down, she already had one foot across the threshold of sleep.

"What is it?" She asked in a drowsy voice and looked at the dark-haired man, who was propped up on his elbows, quietly watching her.

"Goodnight." He said after a while and put a soft smile on Sayuri's face.

"Goodnight." She leaned up to kiss him and sunk back into her pillow again, destroying every illusion of maybe picking up where they left off.

He lay awake for quite some time, with his tiny bird of a girlfriend nested in his arms. He watched her lids flutter erratically like the wings of a butterfly, concealing her hazy blue eyes. He wondered if she dreamed of home. It was obvious that she was homesick.

She has been cheerful throughout most of their trip, but the closer they came to their destination, the more her mood was overshadowed by glumness, although she tried not to let it show. In spite of how much she tried to deny it, he knew that it was her wish to return to Konoha and he was the one who kept her from it. Although it was the last thing he wanted to do, he was the one who made her unhappy. It didn't matter in how many fancy hotels they stayed or how many expensive things he bought or otherwise obtained for her. It didn't even matter how much he loved her, or how much she loved him or their son; Konoha was forever doomed to stand between them.

She would see him as the man who forced her to leave behind her home and cut all ties to her previous life and she would resent him for it. Maybe not right away; her anger would seethe below the surface, waiting for the day to erupt like a volcano and melt the bars of the gilded cage he was locking her in. Maybe it would happen because her homesickness got the best of her, maybe because they had a fight, maybe because she didn't like the apples, sold at their new home, maybe because she was unhappy with their new life – it could be little or big reasons, all he knew was that they were arbitrary. It could be anything, so what could he possibly do, other than trying to keep her content, shower her with attention and stuff her prison with luxuries to make her forget it was a prison at all.

She had entered the cage voluntarily, but nevertheless he was the one who kept her locked in; the one who took away her freedom, so how could he know that in case he should forget to lock her door, she would not fly away forever?

…

…

They had needed three days longer than they had calculated. It wasn't surprising, though. It seemed as though the closer they came to their destination, the slower they moved ahead and the more breaks they took. Whenever they came across a village they stayed there, even if it was still relatively early and they would have easily made it to another place before nightfall.

They were both anxious about getting to Konoha, anxious about what would happen there. The past days have almost been too good to be true – the whole past weeks… But depending on the outcome today or maybe tomorrow or who knew when, that might be over. Then the carelessness and light-heartedness they had felt during the journey might be replaced by tension, fear, restlessness and who knew just what else?

Aside from that, along with the village, the goodbye was coming closer and closer as well and Sayuri would rather drag it out some more – at best forever… She'd rather keep that one thing unfinished.

It was pretty early still, from the position of the sun 11 o'clock maybe, which meant they had commenced the tenth day of their journey only about four hours ago, after Mikan had woken them way earlier still. Another two hours maybe and they'd be there. Right now they both wished they had dawdled some more…

"I think he is hungry." Sayuri raised her voice, after they had walked the whole last hour in tense silence. "Can we take a break?"

"Hn." Sasuke nodded, although he was sure that she only used their son as an excuse to play for time. Still he humoured her, even though this was neither the ideal place nor situation for a rest. They had entered the forest, immediately surrounding the Leaf Village now and from the moment they had, the ANBU following them had closed up drastically. They were really doing a good job; if they hadn't known about their presence and have therefore been on the lookout for them, they probably wouldn't have noticed they were being followed. Although it were merely five to ten metres that separated them now.

"Are you hungry, too?" Sayuri asked, while she started rummaging through her bag.

"Are you?"

"Hmm… uh-huh."

"Then let's have lunch already." Sasuke proposed and roamed his eyes around, noting the position of their followers.

"Okay, here." Sayuri passed Mikan to his father. "He's punching me the whole time already."

That was a new habit of him. Every time he didn't like something or was bored or hungry, he started banging around with his fists impatiently. When he was happy or excited he banged around with his fists, too, only with a smile on his face then.

She passed Sasuke a box with rice balls and then pulled out a thermos flask with warm milk, she had prepared this morning, which she then filled in a baby bottle.

"I think I'll give it a try."

Sayuri sat down on the cold trunk of a fallen tree beside Sasuke and took back her son, who seemed pretty tired, but then considering that he was awake since 5 o'clock already, he had a good right to feel that way. Mikan at once turned his face towards her, his hand halfway in his mouth and as Sayuri tugged at it lightly, he started waving his fists above his head like a tiny choleric, raising a smile on the faces of both his parents.

"You're a little bully, huh?" Sayuri giggled and presented the bottle to him, but once his dark eyes fell on it, he gave her an incredulous look before they filled with tears, his whole body tensed and he started crying. Same as he usually did, but how quick he started depended on how tired he was.

"Shh… c'mon. " She tried to hush him by bouncing her knees up and down and trying to get his open mouth to close around the teat, but he rather kept on howling. "We're outside in a wood, with weird men watching us. It is cold. I can't nurse you now…" Sayuri chanted in a quiet voice and grimaced as Mikan curled his tiny fingers around her collar, knowing exactly what he wanted and the bottle was clearly not it.

They had started feeding him with bottles about a month ago and still he didn't accept them. Maybe she should have been less lenient and stayed strict from the start, but how could she do so, when he was crying as though his whole world fell apart? Every single heart-wrenching sob weighed on her conscience and so she gave in – for both the baby's and her own sake, before she'd end up sinking into week-long depressions again.

"Okay, I give up." After hardly more than a minute, Sayuri returned the crying baby to Sasuke, interrupting his meal. She was edgy enough already, so she hoped Sasuke could calm him soon. It didn't seem to work though. Mikan kept his arms reached out to his mother, crying even harder. In case the ANBU should use any special devices to eavesdrop on them, they were probably deaf now.

"Maybe you should go somewhere where he can't see you." Sasuke proposed. They had some experience with that by now, she usually had to leave the room when he was feeding him, otherwise they could forget it right from the start.

Sayuri nodded and stood up, but before she could go anywhere, Sasuke held her back.

"Go that way." He nodded to the right, which was about the farthest away from their followers. She didn't walk far, staying in eye- and earshot, although she'd rather not listen to her crying son. Fifteen minutes later he was quiet and so she went back, mindful though to stay out of Mikan's sight.

"No chance." Sasuke sighed and passed the full bottle to her. "He's far too stubborn."

"Like father like son, huh?"

"Tze." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Didn't you say you were hungry?"

"Yeah… I thought so at least, but… I can't eat anything now."

She was far too nervous for that and her son's outburst really hadn't made that any better.

"Later." She added, as she noticed the disapproving look on Sasuke's face. "You think they rebuilt the restaurants in Konoha?"

"Hmm… Naruto is there, so there'll definitely be a new Ichiraku."

"Yes – that's probably the first thing they built up." Sayuri giggled and thought back of all the times they had spent together eating ramen after training, eating ramen after a mission or eating ramen when they had run into each other by coincidence. Only now that these things were likely to never repeat themselves again, did she manage to cherish these moments. Or just the thought about how she always complained that she didn't like Sasuke's house and that she felt uncomfortable in it, when actually it has never been this bad… Somehow you only learn to cherish the things you have when they were gone. Belated insight was better than none at all – although it did only very little to help her right now.

And gone was her good mood again and she could barely get herself to look forward to finally reaching their home anymore. Maybe they could take another break still… for a few more days or so – after all they still had more than two weeks left.

"You sure you don't want to eat anything?" Sasuke asked and watched Sayuri shake her head. "Then let's go."

"Uh? Already…"

"Is there a reason to stay longer?"

"No…" She sighed and gazed to the side, avoiding his eyes.

"Let's just get it over with."

Sasuke walked towards her and squeezed her shoulder lightly, automatically raising a smile on Sayuri's face, although it wasn't an earnest one.

"You're right." She sighed and looked at her son, who had just cried himself to sleep. If they hurried they might reach Konoha before he woke up. In case he then still refused the bottle, she could nurse him after all, before he'd starve. She already had a guilty conscience, because of knowing he was hungry, but it couldn't be so bad yet, otherwise he wouldn't have fallen asleep.

They carried on walking and were glad when they finally came across a bunch of fields that all lay fallow still and were mainly covered with different grasses and weeds – nothing that would take harm when they trampled across it, which is why they left behind the forest region, although it was the shorter route, and cut across the open grassland instead, buying themselves some distance to their followers.

"So what's the plan now?" Sayuri asked and cast an unhappy look at the heavy dark clouds in the sky. It was cold enough already, they really couldn't need any rain. She was afraid that Mikan had caught a cold already. Yesterday he had been uncommonly quiet, whereas today he had been overly whiny and yet quiet, too. She was doing her best to always hide him under her coat and keep him warm, but she didn't know if it was enough. He was so tiny still, like a really big newborn.

"We'll go to Konoha, so you can see for yourself that everyone is doing well, since you don't rely on all the letters you've received that tell you so and you can say goodbye to everyone… I'll try to put things straight with the Hokage, to avoid the status of a nuke-nin so we'll be safe." Sasuke explained in a somewhat annoyed tone, after all they had gone through that at least a dozen times already.

"That's not what I meant. What will we do afterwards… you know… after we left again?"

In spite of having accepted that this was what's going to happen, it was still hard for her, so she hoped by having a clearer plan of their future, it might be easier for her to look forward to it.

"Afterwards?

Like he knew. He'd be glad if they could leave the village without any difficulties. He didn't have any concrete ideas of what came next, at least not when things turned out well and that is what she was talking about. He really didn't know and still she watched him from the corner of her eyes, expecting him to have an answer at the ready. He was well aware of the insecurities in her eyes, which were occasionally obstructed by her hair, when the strong wind wafted it into her face. She looked so vulnerable and he knew he'd have to give her at least _something_ to soothe her.

"We'll set out to search for a new place to live, a place where our children (_again plural_!) can grow up, far away from all this. We'll find a new job, get married, buy a dog and spend our days sitting on a porch swing." He rattled off all the stupid clichés he could think of, until he noticed that Sayuri was no longer walking beside him. He came to a stop and turned around then, seeing her stand a couple of feet away from him, a shocked and a sceptical look battling for predominance on her face.

"What?" He raised an eyebrow and scrutinised her closely, sceptical himself.

"We never even talked about getting married…" Sayuri frowned at him, narrowing her eyes suspiciously and it was just then that Sasuke realized how this must have sounded to her. It was his face now that would have nearly displayed a look of surprise, but he forced it back before it could occur and just watched Sayuri's dark hair stream in the wind as though it was liquid, but she seemed too shocked to push it out of her face.

She thought he was proposing to her and this is how she reacted? Great…

"Calm down. I was being ironic." He said casually, but secretly wondered if that was really the case.

They had never talked about it, but even so it had been obvious to him that they would do so sooner or later, probably sooner, now that they had a son. They were about to spend their life together anyway and he already regarded her as a part of his family, so they might as well make it official.

He had grown up in a very old clan, with many ancient traditions and formalities and somehow he had internalised them, at least most of them, and matrimony, old-fashioned as it sounded, was definitely a part of it. He wanted the mother of his son to carry his last name. He wanted her to have a new identity for herself that was distinctly linked to him, clear for everyone to see. He wanted her to officially belong to him. Maybe it was just yet another way to drive her a bit further into the cage. Now that they had almost reached Konoha and with their new, uncertain life coming closer and closer, it felt like he had to keep her as close to him, as he could, but was getting married the right way to do so?

"Oh…" Sayuri nodded with her eyes closed, before she took a deep breath. "Phew…"

"So relieved that I didn't propose to you?" Sasuke's voice was blank, but still Sayuri wondered if he was offended by her reaction, there was just something about his expression, something she couldn't quite pinpoint, but that definitely told her so.

"N-no… That's not it." She stammered, searching for the right words to explain what she meant. "It's just… I don't know… being married sounds so awfully grown up…"

"And having a baby doesn't?"

"Oh totally!" She nodded quickly. "Everything is going so fast. You already made me a woman, no need to make me a granny already." She said but as she noticed how ambiguous and most of all stupid that just sounded she rolled her eyes and from the amused look on Sasuke's face he had noticed too. "Err… you know what I mean…"

"Hn." He smirked suggestively, while Sayuri couldn't help blushing. "Don't worry; no one who hears you talk will mistake you for an old woman."

"… I'll just take that as a compliment…" She grimaced, but couldn't stop grinning. "So thank you for not proposing to me."

"Always a pleasure."

Actually not, but this seemed hardly like the time to discuss it. Not with how close they were to Konoha. So he'd have to rely on her feeling for him and their son to make sure he'd get her out of Konoha again without having to knock her out and drag her away.

"You're such an idiot." She giggled and nudged his ribs, while Sasuke wrapped his arm around her and pulled her against him. "I love you." She smiled at him, but instead of responding, Sasuke leaned down to kiss her, letting his lips express all the things he couldn't say.

Sayuri wished they could carry on kissing forever. Just stand there in that field and kiss and kiss until their mouths melted, their hair turned grey and the earth took so many turns that it was no longer the world as they once knew it.

Of course that didn't work. Not even a minute later they resumed their journey again and after another hour, they could already see the huge walls surrounding Konoha. They were so close now and with every further step closer to their former home, another centimetre of Sayuri's body started tingling. It started off with her fingertips, but had crawled up her whole left arm now. Maybe she was having a heart attack. The butterflies that had as of late reclaimed their place in her stomach must have had one, because it was uncannily still in there. She was so excited, she couldn't even tell if in a positive or a negative way.

She found herself holding her sleeping son even tighter, keeping him securely hidden underneath her cloak. Not only because of the temperatures; it kind of felt weird to enter her hometown with a baby in her arms, regardless of how proud she was of him, especially in case they should really receive a hostile reception, which she could barely imagine and yet that was what she feared the most right now. Sasuke had prepared her for this from the very start and yet she couldn't get herself to even assume there to be a grain of truth in his pessimistic accounts.

The doubts slowly crept up and suddenly she no longer looked forward to getting home. What if they would actually turn their back on them? What if they would drop them like a bad habit and never look back? Not care what became of them?

Her breath came heavier, her legs feeling like there was liquefied lead running through her veins and she wondered if she was really hiding her son or if she was not rather hiding herself behind him.

"It'll be over soon." Sasuke assured her, as he noticed her stiff posture.

"…" She shrugged and lowered her head, not able to squeeze any words through her constricted throat.

"Just look straight ahead and behave normal."

"Huh?" Sayuri's eyes widened, feeling like she was caught in a déjà-vu, although she couldn't quite tell what exactly this reminded her of.

"It wouldn't make a good impression if we enter the village already looking guilty."

"Makes sense…uh!" Sayuri gasped as Sasuke suddenly pulled her against him, right as a dark silhouette darted past them, any features or details obscured by speed, but they clearly saw the destination: Konoha.

"Y-you think they heard us?" Sayuri whispered as she had recovered from the shock and looked at Sasuke, whose eyes were fastened on the spot where the ANBU had just vanished.

"No. They'll warn them that we are coming." Sasuke placed a hand on the small of her back and gave her a light push. "C'mon."

It took them another five minutes until they were standing underneath the huge gate leading into Konoha – the new Konoha. Everything looked so familiar and yet did not. There was a mixture of tents and houses and many scaffolds and piles of sand, gravel and huge wooden beams – there were building materials scattered in about every corner. But there were really many buildings already and they looked very alike those that have been there before the attack, only that the façade of every single house was made from the same wood.

There was no paint on the walls, no colourful advertisements or posters anywhere in sight and there weren't any plants or flowers either. The streets were covered with earth and sand, almost like in Suna; there were no paving stones anywhere, no designated sidewalks, not even grass or anything living – in spite of how many houses have been built up already, Konoha still looked like one huge building site, or maybe a model city made from lollysticks, but even so it was impressive just how much they had managed to do in the few months – well, actually it has been more than half a year.

They passed the guards sitting in the booth on the other side of the gate, but they didn't know them, so instead of exchanging greetings, they only left their names and passed on. After taking a couple of steps, though, Sayuri caught sight of a small group of people at the end of the street. In spite of how far away they were, Sayuri still recognised them at once and it caught her breath and she had to force herself to carry on putting one foot in front of the other. Right now she really hoped that Sasuke's eyes were so bad that he hadn't seen them. She had to do something before he did. Slim chance.

The Uchiha halted and so did she then and although she dreaded it, she turned around to him, at once noticing the grim look on his face – of course he had seen them…

"Sas-"

"Go." He cut her off sharply, his eyes still staring at the group in the distance, but as he took a step to the front, he felt Sayuri's hand on his shoulder, keeping him where he was. He stood arrested; arrested by that small hand and the subtle pressure it exerted on him and in that moment he resented her, resented himself for letting her paralyse him like this. His gaze wandered from her hand to her face, seeing the anxiety bloom within an instant.

His eyes were so different. She wondered if he had a split personality: the calm Sasuke and the cruel one, who had from the look of it just taken over. He was giving her this look and it was that of a stranger, she unfortunately knew by now and she was scared of what he was capable of.

"Please Sasuke, let's just-" She pleaded, but he shook off her hand and gave her a look of rejection that etched its way right into the recesses of her heart. And what could she do now, other than giving in?

"Sayuri, go now." He repeated again, his voice stern and adamant and in spite of her worries, Sayuri nodded unhappily and then went around a corner to her right, giving their welcoming committee a wide berth.

They were in Konoha for only about two minutes and things were already looking this bad. It felt awkward to just leave him alone there, it was unsettling her not to know what he was doing, but she had enough trust in his common sense to be sure that he wouldn't do anything stupid while they were here with their son.

She really hoped so, but that last look of him was still haunting her.

…

…


	49. Home Sweet Home

_I'm truly sorry __it took so long. I always received an error message whenever I tried to update and it took some time for it to get fixed, but now it finally worked, so I hope the new chapter is worth the long wait =)_

**49.**** Home Sweet Home**

With a queasy feeling, Sayuri made her way to the Hokage, at least she hoped the Hokage residence was still where it used to be. She saw quite a lot of people, working on the building sites, but none she was really close to, so she walked unwaveringly ahead, her shoulders hunched and her arms tightly wrapped around the bump in her cloak her son was hidden under.

How she wished she could be invisible right now…

Her steps were hasty, but even so, it took her a little more than fifteen minutes to reach the Hokage residence, which looked exactly the way it had before, only that the red paint was far brighter and cleaner.

She came to a halt in front of the three huge towers and let her eyes wander across the façade and from window to window, while her mind was far, far away right now. She wondered what she should do now. Should she go in already or should she wait for Sasuke? Who knew how long he'd need? Who knew what he was doing?

_Phew_…

She balled her shaking fingers into fists and took a deep breath, imagining that the whole air was filled with determination and she now filled her lungs with it – only that it didn't do much good in there… Nevertheless she entered the huge red building and was flooded by a sense of nostalgia as she saw that the inside looked just like it used to do, as though she was actually walking through the very same corridor she had often passed when she was assigned a new mission, when she returned from a mission or when Tsunade summoned her for any other reason.

Then she already stood in front of Tsunade's door and needed almost a full minute to actually get herself to knock at it.

"Come in." Tsunade's voice was muffled by the heavy wooden door and the violent hammering of Sayuri's heart, but even so, she recognised it at once and entered. The blonde woman didn't even look up from the piles of documents, scattered all across her desk – a familiar picture. She hadn't changed at all; there wasn't a single new wrinkle on her face, except for those on her forehead, resulting from the way she furrowed her brows, as she ploughed her way through the masses of paperwork.

"Tsunade-sama?" Sayuri raised her voice after a while and watched how the Godaime's head shot up at once, her amber eyes widened in stunned surprise.

"Sayuri…" She murmured in a hollow voice and walked around her desk hastily, until she stood right in front of her former student. "I didn't expect you here just yet. How have you been and where is Sasuke?"

"…He'll be here soon." Sayuri tried not to let her anxiety seep through her voice. It wouldn't be good if they looked guilty, right?

"Huh." Tsunade gave a sound that could mean everything and nothing at once and then they merely looked at each other; Tsunade in an analysing way, Sayuri in what she hoped to appear trustworthy.

Then she couldn't stand it any longer and fell into Tsunade's arms. Actually it was a bit more hesitant than that. After all she was still carrying her son and she has never yet hugged her former teacher but she couldn't help it, awkward as it felt, she really was glad to see her; glad to be here…

Tsunade didn't seem to know what to make of her behaviour either and she needed some time until she placed a hand on Sayuri's back and returned the embrace.

"Girl you are trembling." The Godaime remarked and caused Sayuri to pull back at once, cursing herself for her inconsiderate behaviour. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh-huh." Sayuri nodded quickly, well aware of the suspicious tone in Tsunade's voice. "We've been in Suna for half a year. I'm not used to these temperatures any more."

"Huh." Again that sound that verged on scepticism and acceptance. More of the former, probably. Her eyes were full of suspicion in any case and Sayuri wondered if her own eyes were as watery as they felt; she hoped it was only her imagination. But she was afraid, spectacularly so. She couldn't keep her eyes from straying to the window all the time, on the lookout for any trails of smoke, billowing into the sky, although she hoped there wouldn't be any – nothing that only faintly reminded of the signs of a fight… Sasuke wouldn't do anything reckless when they were here together, she was sure he wouldn't.

"Oh God, is that…?" Tsunade pointed at her opposite. Up to now she has been so taken in by analysing her student's expression that she hasn't really seen the little face peeking out of her coat.

"Yes." Sayuri nodded with a smile on her face, glad for the distraction. "That's our son." She added, to spare Tsunade the embarrassment of guessing and pulled down her zipper, so she could see him better.

"How small he is…"

"He is, isn't he? He was a month early."

"How old is he then?"

"Four months."

"Uh-huh." Tsunade nodded. "Is it hard? I mean, being a mother?"

What a question… But then Sayuri was glad that they still did small-talk and avoided grazing the reason of why they were here. She'd rather not do so before Sasuke was here, in case Tsunade should cross-examine her, she was sure to crack and spill everything. Damn, what was taking him so long anyway?

"Yes. Especially at the beginning, but… it still is. He sleeps through the nights now and that makes it much easier and I think I know him a bit better now and have a bit more experience, so it's definitely better…" Sayuri explained and looked at the apparently peaceful world beyond the window, thinking about what else she could add to buy them some more time. Actually there were so many things she wanted to ask her, so many things she wanted to know and yet she couldn't think of anything at the moment.

"I'm a little worried about him though. He's almost permanently asleep since yesterday and he hardly ate anything today. Maybe the journey was too tough for him…" Sayuri sighed and pressed a kiss on Mikan's forehead, watching his lids flutter slightly, but he still didn't wake up. "Could you maybe take a look at him?"

"Uh-huh. Put him on the table."

"Thank you."

Sayuri carefully took off the baby sling, with her son still inside and placed it on the table, so he wouldn't have to lie on the hard wood. Tsunade at once started examining him, while Sayuri watched them with her heart lodged in her throat and a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't even know if she should rather focus on her son or Tsunade's face, looking for any alterations in her mimic, any sign of alarm, anything.

It were two nerve-wrecking minutes in which Tsunade performed her examination in complete silence, always with that stern, but concentrated look on her face. Mikan had woken up now, but instead of crying, although he had to be really hungry, he merely watched what was going on around him through tired eyes, keeping all his bright smiles miserly to himself, so he was either really not well, or Tsunade just wasn't his type.

"He seems perfectly alright to me, a bit exhausted maybe, but nothing to worry about." Tsunade informed her in a matter of fact tone and watched how the violet-haired kunoichi heaved a relieved sigh, before she cautiously scooped her son up in her arms.

"You hear? You are perfectly alright." She smiled at the little boy and gave him a kiss, raising at least a tiny smile on his lips, which caused her own to widen then.

"I still can't believe you actually have a baby." Tsunade shook her head with a smirk on her face. "I would have bet Ino and Kiba would be the first. They are so impulsive and all…"

"Well, you usually lose your bets."

"So it seems…" Tsunade shrugged before a more serious expression settled on her face. "But it was quite irresponsible to take him on such a long journey already. You should have waited till he was older."

"Huh?" Sayuri furrowed her brows and detached her eyes from the window again to look at the blonde woman. "We asked you for delay, but you told us to come already."

"When did I do that?"

"Uhm… in November."

"I did not tell you anything."

"B-but we received a note that summoned us here and then the ANBU followed us the whole time and—"

"ANBU?" A frown appeared on Tsunade's face, resembling the one on Sayuri's.

"Yes. They've been watching us ever since we came to Suna. Didn't you assign them to do so?"

"No. I didn't send anyone to keep watch on you."

"…"

She didn't? But who did then? The ANBU were directly subjected to the Hokage and only took orders from her. All but a small subdivision… That would make a whole lot of sense now. They've been followed by Root-ANBU. It hasn't been Tsunade but Danzô who gave the order to monitor them. That is also why Danzô has been there the moment they entered the village – because the ANBU who had rushed ahead, hadn't informed the Hokage, but the leader of their faction. That scared her even more now. If Sasuke knew, it would enrage him even more. And if Danzô has taken all these actions by himself, who knew what else he would do then? What if he decided to arrest Sasuke already?

"Sayuri? You look like you've seen a ghost…"

"That must have been Danzô."

"Tze." Tsunade's eyes narrowed into slits. "That sneaky rat…"

In the past months Danzô had given her enough trouble already. After the attack on Konoha, he had tried to take over her office by depicting her as a weak leader. It has been a troublesome back and forth, at a time when they should have focused all their energy on the reconstruction of the village and their defence from other countries. The worst thing about the whole matter was that Danzô had quite some support by the upper class citizens, who happened to be very influential, but the majority had still supported her, but it has been a close thing… If it was up to her, she'd ban him from the village at once, but then that would make her appear like a despot who doesn't accept other opinions and it just wasn't in her power to make such a decision all by herself. Her hands were tied.

"He won't get away with that."

He couldn't just fake her signature and give orders in her name – just who did he think he is?

Sayuri nodded mutely, glad that they had at least some support and walked to the window, letting her eyes drift across the village, but no trace of Sasuke. She cradled her son close to her chest, wondering if he maybe looked so serious, because he sensed that something was not quite right, the way animals are able to sense an impeding earthquake.

Then there was a creaking and Sayuri at once spun around to see the door open and Sasuke enter – unscathed. She had been sure he wouldn't do anything, but nevertheless it took a load off her mind to have the reassurance. His eyes met hers at once, but there was nothing for her to read in them, only that they still looked hard. As it seemed, she'd have to wait until they were among themselves to find out what happened.

"It is common courtesy to knock before you enter a room." Tsunade snapped, her voice lacking its usual bite, though.

"You summoned me."

"It would seem I did…" The Godaime said cryptically, but from the look on Sasuke's face he understood. His dark eyes drifted back to Sayuri then, giving her a meaningful look and obscure as it was, it nevertheless had a reassuring effect on her – seeing him in one piece did…

"You know why we came?" The Uchiha asked in a blank voice and looked from the Hokage to Sayuri, wondering how much she had told her already.

"I have a faint idea…" Tsunade walked back to her chair and gave the dark-haired man an expectant look and so Sasuke spent the next five minutes informing her about everything that happened, the reasons for his action and their plans for the future – all of it limited to the things that were meant for the ears of outsiders.

"So basically, you ask me for permission to let you disappear off the radar." Tsunade summed up with her hands folded under her chin.

"That's the gist of it." Sasuke nodded and watched Tsunade close her eyes thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry, but that is not going to happen."

"You got it all wrong. Your consent doesn't have any influence on our decision. It would just make things easier."

"_Our decision_?" She asked sceptically and looked at Sayuri, remembering the way she had greeted her, which gave her reason to doubt Sasuke's words.

Now the Uchiha turned towards her too, seeing how uncomfortable she looked. He knew about her doubts and he was fully aware that in case she should voice them, Tsunade would pull out all the stops to make sure she'd stay here – with or without him and Sayuri was well aware of that as well…

"Yes. _Our_ decision." Sayuri walked to stand beside Sasuke and reached for his hand, before she gave Tsunade a determined nod.

"Very well." The blonde sighed, seeming rather unhappy about her student's choice. "But that doesn't change anything about the fact that I can't just let you vanish. I have to think as the head of the village and as such, Konoha's safety is my top priority. The Sharingan belongs to Konoha. I cannot allow it to fall into the hands of the enemy."

"The Sharingan belongs to the Uchiha only. Don't think you can stake any claims." Sasuke hissed and gave the Hokage an icy glare, so cold that you could literally feel the temperatures drop within the room.

"The Uchiha have been co-founders of the Hidden Leaf. This is where you belong." Tsunade tried to defuse the situation, but the temperatures continued falling.

"That was Madara." Sasuke's voice was dripping with despise, his fists clenched tightly, he even seemed to have forgotten that he was still holding Sayuri's hand, until she pulled it out of his iron grip, which managed to rip Sasuke out of his thoughts.

"Yes. It was _Uchiha_ Madara." Tsunade nodded emphatically. "Which leads to the next point. With all the uncertainties concerning Madara and his apparent demise, we might still need your help. The Sharingan can only be beaten by another Sharingan."

"You have Kakashi." Sasuke countered, rather unimpressed.

"I'm aware of that, but strong as he is, he alone is no match for Madara. And you know more about him than anyone else does."

"I told you everything already."

"Second-hand knowledge isn't the same as first-hand knowledge." And she had some doubts about the completeness of his so-called _everything_.

"Pfft."

"And same as we might need your help, you might need ours." Tsunade declared and raised rather startled expressions on her opposites' faces. "If Madara is still alive, there are two people he would target. The first being you, the second being Naruto. And I will not let Naruto fall into his hands."

"It isn't our responsibility to look after Naruto." Sasuke said coldly and at once drew Sayuri's gaze to him.

She knew that he had a point, it wasn't their responsibility, but they were friends and that's what friends did. She thought his way of putting things was rather harsh, but decided not to share her thoughts on the matter. They had to appear like a unit, otherwise it would complicate things even further.

"You should think Naruto has proven often enough that he is able to look after himself."

"That might be true, but even so I will not take any risks. This is about so much more than the safety of a single person - you know that yourself. Even without a leader, I doubt that Akatsuki's aims changed." Tsunade said firmly, her mind set and they all knew about her stubborn nature; it would be hard to get through to her. "But if you care so little about your comrade's wellbeing (_that one stung_!) then at least keep your own situation in mind. As I said, you might be in danger and will need our support then. If it's your wish to leave the village, I will let you, but only under the condition that you leave behind your exact whereabouts and keep in permanent contact at a scheduled time."

Sayuri's face lit up at once. Somehow the situation was much different from how they had expected it. Tsunade's behaviour was rather unexpected. It didn't even seem to have crossed her mind that Sasuke might have lied or maybe she really chose to remain ignorant, just like Naruto had said. She hadn't even challenged any of the things they had told her. As it seemed she wasn't here to judge them – all she did was try to steer the situation in a direction which held the greatest benefit for both their parties. But although Sayuri would have at once agreed to her proposal, held on tight to the little link she offered that kept them connected to their former home, Sasuke seemed determined to burn all the bridges.

"How private would that contact be?"

"No one but Shizune and me will know about it."

"How often?"

"At least every week and when something happens."

"That's too often."

"Pfft." Tsunade snorted, angered by their lack of gratitude. What she offered them was far more than they deserved. She was aware that what they told her didn't correspond to the truth and she knew that they knew that she knew, which should make them even more grateful for her proposal, but then the Uchiha have never been known for their humble nature. "And of course you will have to stay in a circuit of a day's march."

"Don't push it." Sasuke hissed and now he and Tsunade engaged in a glaring contest and from how stubborn they both were that could drag on for ages, so Sayuri thought about a way to remedy the situation.

"Tsunade-sama?" Sayuri asked in a soft voice, choosing a formal addressing to make up for Sasuke's rude behaviour, not that that was even possible… "We will stay here overnight. Can we give you our decision by tomorrow morning?"

"Hmm…" The Godaime eyed them closely, trying to discern if they were serious about that or if they meant to take off right away. "Very well then." She sighed. "Tomorrow nine o'clock. And be aware that in case you should fail to meet the deadline, you will have to bear the consequences."

"Understood." Sayuri answered quickly, before Sasuke had a chance to and from the look on his face he had meant to, before she reached for his hand again and pulled him out of Tsunade's office.

After feeding Mikan, they departed the Hokage residence and randomly walked down a deserted street, until it was out of sight and only then was it that they dared to address any of the things that had happened earlier.

"Soo… what did Danzô want?" Sayuri asked, her voice a quiet whisper, lest they were overheard by anyone.

"…" Sasuke closed his eyes briefly and recalled the whole conversation with the Shimura in all its unpleasant details again.

"_So that was the new offspring of the Uchiha-clan."_

"_What do you want?"_

"_There are rumours __about the selflessness of a__ certain Uchiha who was willing to cut all ties to his home in order to save the village from the greatest threat it has ever known."_

"…"

"_The man behind Naruto. The secret hero: Uchiha Sasuke."_

"_Is this gonna take long?"_

"_Tze. I know that you didn't join Madara just to get a chance to kill him. You might be able to fool __all these simpletons__, but not me. I don't believe you in the least."_

"_Then it's good that no one cares about what you believe."_

"_Watch your mouth. I know exactly what you've been planning-"_

"_-and I don't know what you did, but I'll keep an eye on you. In case you should ever get close to my family-"_

"Sasuke?"

"… He just wanted to mark his territory." The Uchiha answered vaguely and Sayuri knew that he didn't want to talk about it, now that they were still outside, where practically everyone could overhear them. It can't have been a nice meeting, but she was glad that he had not lost his composure. A few months ago, merely seeing Danzô would have most likely thrown Sasuke into a murderous frenzy, but now… He really had changed…

"Hmm… What do you think about what Tsunade said? It's not a bad proposal, is it?"

"It's presumptuous." Sasuke hissed, his eyes firmly fixed on the path ahead of them.

"Well… She has a right to be. We are the ones who messed up and now crawl back to her, asking for a favour. She doesn't have to grant us any liberties at all. Things could have turned out completely different, she might have just as well arrested us."

"But she won't, because she needs us."

_She needs you_, Sayuri thought, before she murmured: "But even so there has been no need for her to be so nice to us."

"Nice?"

"Yes. _Nice_." She said emphatically. "She didn't even demand any reparations-"

"-not yet."

"And she is concerned about us-"

"-because she needs us."

"Phew…" Sayuri sighed and gave Sasuke a frustrated look. "So what if she needs us? We need her, too. If it wasn't for her support, we'd soon have all the great nations on our heels. And then Madara. You think yourself that he is still alive."

"Yes."

"And if he really came after us, we will need support."

Tsunade was right. In case Madara was alive, Sasuke would be the first one he'd target. Uchiha were drawn to revenge like moths to the light, not caring that their goal might end up scorching their wings, setting them on fire. If Madara and Sasuke would meet it would most likely turn into a kamikaze mission for both of them, so it was reassuring to know that there was someone to look out for them. Someone who'd come to their aid and exponentially increase their chances of survival. Someone monitoring that they were even alive still. It really wasn't a bad proposal at all.

"With the injuries he sustained he shouldn't be much of a threat."

"Injuries heal."

"Yes…" Sasuke's voice took on a softer timbre and he ran a hand over the back of Sayuri's head, raising a light smile on her face. "They do."

"See? And just imagine he really shows up one day, maybe with the rest of Akatsuki even and we have to fight them and protect our son at the same time, all by ourselves."

"_We_?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes and received a scowl in return.

Like he would even let her get close to anything that only potentially posed a threat – especially not with the intention of fighting. Madara is a ruthless bastard – he wouldn't even shy away from attacking an innocent child. Tsunade had been wrong; not he was the first one Madara would go after, it was his family. He had done it before. He had tried to kill Sayuri in front of his eyes to make him pay for his betrayal and he would do it again.

"Yes, _**we**_." Soft as it was, there was steely determination in Sayuri's voice and Sasuke would have liked to knock sense into her, because reason surely didn't work. "We're in this together. Madara is not only a threat to you, but to us. Just imagine he shows up and you're not there – and you can't always be there." She threw in quickly before he could interrupt her. "We'd live in constant fear, so it would be reassuring to know that there is someone looking after us… that help isn't far away."

"…" She did have a point there. As little as he liked to admit it, he couldn't always be there and what if Madara used this one moment for an assault? With his abilities, timing was the slightest problem for him. There was no way to prepare against him. Nothing they could do and if it really came to a fight, how could he possibly take on Uchiha Madara and protect his family at the same time?

"And it really isn't asking too much to not travel to the other end of the world and send a message now and then, if it ensures our safety, don't you think? Even if she didn't keep our whereabouts top secret… I wouldn't mind having visitors from time to time…"

Sasuke's eyes became intently focused, scrutinising his girlfriend closely. He hadn't failed to perceive the subtle hint of sadness lacing her voice, but before he had a chance to retort, they heard someone call their names and at once focused their attention on a small group of people at the end of the street, quickly approaching them.

"You're finally back!" Ino squealed excitedly and half-ran towards them now, directly followed by Sakura and a little slower also Kiba, along with Akamaru.

"Welcome home!" Ino and Sakura greeted them, but before they even had a chance to respond to that, Ino carried on all by herself: "How have you been and when did you get here? We really missed you! Things here have been crazy, you have no idea and – oh my god! Is that your baby? It's a boy, isn't it? A mini-Uchiha. What's his name? Oh, how cute he is-"

"Ino, you won't get any answers if you don't give them a chance to speak." Kiba chided his slightly breathless girlfriend and nodded at them in greeting, but the smile he had given them, soon crumbled from his face as Ino shot an icy glare at him.

"You – shush!" The Yamanaka silenced him with a single look, before she turned her full attention to the two of them again. "How cute he is… What was his name?"

"Mikan. He is four months old and we came back a few hours ago." Sayuri answered all her questions with a smile on her face; it just felt so good to see them all again.

"Aww… can I hold him for a moment?" The blonde asked and Sayuri nodded only, before she passed her son to her and watched both Ino and Sakura fuss over him and he obviously enjoyed that. "Look he smiles! He is so handsome…"

"He looks a lot like you, Sasuke-kun." Sakura smiled and brushed a finger across some wisps of Mikan's pitch-black hair that peeked out from under his dark blue cap.

"And look at these lashes! What does a boy need such long lashes for? How unfair is that?" Ino shook her head with a wide grin on her face.

"Seriously, where did he get them from?" Sakura added and tickled his cheek, causing the little boy to giggle and bring his tiny fists to his mouth, which then in turn caused both girls to squeal with delight.

"Look, he's flirting again." Sayuri grinned at Sasuke, who couldn't keep a slight smirk from his face either. "Little prince charming."

"Like father like son, eh?" Kiba sneered and looked over Ino's shoulder at the small boy. "I can't believe you're actually parents."

"No one can…" Sayuri shrugged and watched how Mikan's eyes were drawn to the Inuzuka, before the smile drained from his face and was replaced by a grimace, as though he had bitten into something bitter.

"Step back, Kiba, he doesn't like you." Ino snapped and pulled up her shoulder, nearly hitting Kiba's chin.

"Maybe he's just sick of you shrieking like a bat."

"Tze – you talk and all I hear is bla bla bla" Ino hissed back and looked over her shoulder at her boyfriend, when in that moment Mikan started mewling.

"Oh, hey there… shh… give me another smile, huh?" Ino beseeched him, her voice smooth as honey, but to no avail. His chin started puckering, tears flooding the banks of his black lashes, but before he could start crying, Ino already passed him back to his mother, who held him tightly to her chest.

"Did I do something wrong?" Ino asked as Mikan nearly immediately calmed down, once he was in Sayuri's arms, from where he smiled and waved at his father, who then lifted his hand to hold his son's. A sneak peek at Sasuke as a father…

"Oh no. He's just a baby. He doesn't need any profound reasons to cry."

It had taken her nearly two months to realize that, but once she had, it helped her to get off the guilt train and from then on she had come to enjoy her role as mother – the time before that had resembled a ride on a ghost train.

"What a sweet laugh he has…uhm… Kiba-kun…?" Ino purred his name, her voice as sweet as sugar and she took a step backwards before wrapping her arm around Kiba's. "How about it?"

"How about what?" The Inuzuka asked unsuspectingly, although he kind of did have a queasy feeling about Ino's sudden change of mood.

"Duh… what do you think? Let's have a baby."

"What? – NO!" Kiba tried to yank his arm away from Ino's but her grip was like iron.

"But look how cute he is! I want one, too!"

"The puppy I wanted to keep was cute, too, and still you said no."

"How can you compare a puppy to a baby?"

"Easy. The puppy is something I wanted and the baby is something you want."

"Idiot. Our flat is too small for a second dog."

"But it's not too small for a baby?"

"We'd have to get a new one then."

"But we didn't buy-"

"-Oh, don't you dare mention the stupid puppy again!"

"_Stupid_?" Kiba's eyes widened and he watched his girlfriend as though he was seeing her for the very first time.

"Guys?" Sakura interrupted their quarrel. "We should have met up with our client five minutes ago already."

"Oh shoot! We have to hurry." Ino exclaimed and focused her attention on Sasuke and Sayuri again. "It was so good to see you again and – Oh! You should really go to the Uchiha compound."

"The Uchiha compound was destroyed." Sasuke said blankly; after all he had seen it with his very own eyes.

"Well, so was everything else, but people are rebuilding." The Yamanaka winked at them with a wide grin on her face. "See you… Hey! Maybe we'll have a little girl. Then we could hook them up."

"Ino!" Kiba barked.

"Kiba. I want a baby. Deal with it."

"Pfft. Today it's a baby and tomorrow it's a new pair of shoes."

"You wish… C'mon now." They waved at them and started leaving, still arguing noisily.

"Uhm – Sakura?" Sayuri called out and caused the pink-haired kunoichi to turn around to them again. "Naruto told me what you did for me. Thank you."

That didn't even express a tenth of the gratitude she felt, but it was something.

"Nah, nevermind." Sakura waved her off with a sheepish smile on her face. "I'm glad you made it. So long…" The pinkette gave them a wide smile and hurried to catch off with her team-mates.

"Poor Sakura…" Sayuri sighed once they had lost sight of them. All alone on a mission with the super-couple– she really was not to be envied.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded. "Those two are a pest."

"Uh-huh. But they are funny." Sayuri grinned, but her smile quickly crumbled, as another wave of nostalgia washed over her, threatening to drown her in a deluge of memories. She hoped they wouldn't come pouring out of her eyes. She should enjoy what little time they still had here, now that she could already count off the remaining hours on her fingers and toes.

"Sayuri…?"

You could say what you wanted about Sasuke's empathic abilities, but he was definitely attentive.

"So… we'll go to the Uchiha compound now?" Sayuri summoned a smile, though shaky, on her lips, hoping he'd buy it, but it wasn't exactly easy to fool him.

"Might as well…" Sasuke sighed, not exactly keen on seeing that place again – neither what was left after the attack, nor what they had made of it now. "But we shouldn't waste much time."

There was still a lot they'd have to discuss. This would most likely turn into a sleepless night for them, which is why they should start as quickly as possible, so they'd get at least a little rest before setting out tomorrow morning.

"But I wanted to see Naruto and Neji still – and Hinata."

"Can't that wait until tomorrow?"

"Hmm… I guess it can…" She murmured unhappily and rocked her son lightly; looking at him always made it easy for her to start smiling, which she was really glad about, because all on her own, she wouldn't have been able to do so now. "It's just… you know… this might be the last time we're here… I hoped we could spend this day without having to think about any of these grave topics…"

"We'll see how long everything takes… Let's go." Sasuke placed a hand on the small of her back and started walking, pushing her along with him.

The old Uchiha district wasn't far away from where they were, so it took them only a couple of minutes to reach it, or so they thought, because this place didn't really have anything in common with the old one. There were no walls surrounding the piece of land to separate it from the rest of Konoha. There was no more pavement and the houses and shops were gone, too. It reminded a lot of the area outside of Suna; just bare land with dead soil and no plants anywhere in sight. A bleak area and they really didn't know why they had sent them here.

They slowly walked down the treaded path, the memories of what imposing buildings used to stand here were almost palpable still and weighed heavy on their shoulders and minds and Sayuri was glad that Sasuke kept his arm around her, because otherwise she probably wouldn't have taken a single step. After walking a few metres, they saw a couple of big, olive tents in the distance, instigating them to exchange a curious glance, before they approached them. As they came closer they also saw houses, three of them, made of simple wood, the way all the houses in the new Konoha were.

They didn't know quite what to do now; where to go to. They couldn't just randomly enter one of these houses. Who knew who was living in there now? Just because these grounds used to belong to the Uchiha clan didn't mean they still did so. This was a new Konoha; what used to be no longer counted…

They exchanged another questioning glance, when they heard some cursing, coming from the biggest, but least finished looking one of the houses and after nodding at each other, they walked towards the source of the voice then. They had to walk around the house and there on the porch he was then, Naruto, balancing on the back of a chair, while pinning a blanket to the doorframe.

"Damn it! Stay up there!" The Uzumaki cursed impatiently, completely unaware of their presence.

"Ehem." Sayuri harrumphed, to draw his attention towards them, while she couldn't keep a dumb smile from her face. She was so excited about seeing Naruto's face.

"What?" He barked and sounded really irritated, but as he didn't receive an answer, he looked over his shoulder at who dared to distract him from his difficult task.

"Hey! You're ba-" and down he fell. He was so taken by surprise about seeing his team-mates that he lost his balance and dropped right off the chair, pulling the blanket along with him.

"Agh…" Sayuri scrunched her nose and hunched her shoulders, almost feeling Naruto's pain; it really wasn't a decent landing. "Are you okay?"

"Yep!" He leaped to his feet, with a wide grin on his face that had reddish impressions on it from the uneven floor and the several sticks lying on it, some of which clung to his skin still.

"Tze and they call you a hero…" Sasuke rolled his eyes and watched how Naruto patted the dirt off his clothes.

"Teme!" Naruto exclaimed sourly and leaped off the porch that didn't have any stairs yet and landed in front of his long-lost friends, grinning just as stupidly as Sayuri did. "It's about time you came! We've been doing everything by ourselves here! Oh, is that your baby?"

Seriously, she had no idea why everyone asked that. As though she would walk around with a random baby in her arms.

"It's so tiny. It doesn't even look ready yet…" Naruto bowed down slightly and brought his face close to Mikan's. "Pretty little girl…"

"It's a boy!" Sayuri scowled at him. Like seriously, she had dressed him all in blue to make it obvious and Naruto still mistook him for a girl. But then with these lashes it wasn't surprising. There were probably girls who'd kill for them – she was somewhat jealous as well…

"So you're having a son." He grinned widely and Sayuri couldn't help but do so, too.

"Uh-huh."

"What's his name?"

"Mikan."

"Mikan?" Naruto frowned and leaned closer to the little boy. "That's a weird name…"

"I like it…" Sayuri defended her choice and felt Sasuke squeeze her waist reassuringly.

"That's not how I meant it. I like it too, it's just… unusual…"

"Well, it's not like Naruto is much more of a common name."

"True, but then I'm pretty unique … So you're Uchiha Mikan, huh?" He grinned and Mikan, too, was giving him one of his open-mouthed smiles, at least until he burped right in Naruto's face.

"Hey!" Naruto shrieked and pulled back and his reaction caused the small boy to start laughing. He was in quite a good mood ever since they had fed him. "Damn, what's with his manners?"

"Like they are so different from yours." Sasuke rolled his eyes and caused Naruto to turn around to him with robot like stiffness.

"Talking about manners… If you don't work on your behaviour you can hit the road again right away!" Naruto groused, trying hard to keep a straight face, but he didn't even manage for three seconds. "Nah… It's sort of not the same without you here. I really missed you guys!" He grinned and hugged Sayuri tightly, mindful not to squeeze the baby in between them, or be in the line of fire of anything coming out of his mouth.

"I missed you, too." She smiled back at him as he let go and turned around to Sasuke, his arms an open invitation, his face a frightening display of affection and he slowly walked closer to the dark-haired man.

"Don't even think of it…" Sasuke gave him a stern look, but a second later Naruto's arms were all around him, patting his back as though he had a cough.

"Get off me, idiot." He hissed and pushed the blonde away.

"Pah… I know you missed me, too…" Naruto grinned smugly and rubbed his chest. "So what's it like to be parents, huh?"

"Hey – what are you making such a fuss about?"

They all turned around to the house to see Suigetsu poke his head out of the doorframe, and once he caught sight of them, a wide smirk appeared on his face and he at once leaped towards them.

"My, my, you're back! So this is my godson, eh?" He came to a stop in front of Sayuri and at once reached a hand out to Mikan's, not having any reserve whatsoever, whereas Sayuri was rather taken by surprise. Well, at least he didn't ask if it was their baby…But he somewhat reminded her of Rumpelstiltskin.

"Who said that?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow, not liking his possessive way of talking.

"Seriously! If there is someone who's gonna be his godfather than it's me!" Naruto pointed at his chest, before he nodded at his team-mates. "Right Sasuke? Sayuri-chan?"

"Ehm…"

"Tze, if they are clever, they won't let you get anywhere near the baby."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"With how often you drop things th-"

"That was an accident!"

"Tze – rather a multitude of accident_**s**_ – Besides, Sayuri already said it would be me." Suigetsu bluntly pointed at Sayuri, before focusing his full attention on her again. "Didn't I tell you it's gonna be a boy? Guess you lost the bet."

"There was no bet!" Sayuri exclaimed quickly, vaguely remembering all the megalomaniac demands he had made.

"Whatever…" He rolled his eyes. "So… I'll name him… … Sajuke then."

"He has a name."

"What?"

"It's Mikan."

"Oh please… What kind of a stupid name is that?"

"You're talking about my son, so watch your mouth." Sasuke narrowed his eyes into a frosty glare and Sayuri couldn't help but feel flattered about how protective he was of his family, but then he has always been this way.

"Hmpf…" Suigetsu mumbled something under his breath, with every trace of his former grin gone.

"_Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_."

They all turned around to Naruto or rather the dozens of Narutos, who were all except one running off now, sweeping the drab terrain like an orange wave.

"What did you do that for?" Sayuri asked and looked down at her son again, who was still playing with Suigetsu's finger and although the Houzuki still tried to look sulky, he was obviously having a hard time.

"Well, what do you think? I'm getting the others here. What kind of a welcome home party would it be with only us here?"

"Oh…" Sayuri gave Sasuke an uncomfortable look, knowing that he had meant to leave as quickly as possible, so they could finally discuss what they'd do next. Besides the term 'welcome home party', made her rather dreary, considering that they'd leave this _home_ again by tomorrow morning. She'd have to subtly slip in that this was a farewell party… But she didn't want to… She'd rather soak in sweet denial a little longer.

"You'll have to tell us what you've been doing all the time." Naruto babbled on, apparently unaware of the sceptical looks on his team-mates' faces. "But first of all c'mon!"

"Where to?"

"Take a look at your new house. We've all been busy building it up so it would be ready once you came, but well… no one thought you'd come this soon…" Naruto grimaced and looked at the obviously not finished house, before he shrugged. "Anyway, c'mon now!"

Naruto and Suigetsu already started walking, while Sasuke and Sayuri exchanged another meaningful look. They hadn't meant to come back here, but hadn't told anyone about it, so of course they thought they'd live here again. And they had actually built a house for them…

"Oi! What are you waiting for?" Naruto called out impatiently and so Sayuri reached for Sasuke's hand and gave him a weak smile, before they walked after the two men. Once they reached the front porch, Sasuke pulled at her hand though, causing her to stop.

"Did you two build the house all by yourselves?"

If they did, then it was probably dangerous just standing here.

"Oh… well… Yamato lent us a hand… well… he did most of the work really, but we took care of painting the walls and the important stuff, you know?" Naruto explained, scratching his head sheepishly and his response sufficed to reassure Sasuke and so he placed a hand on Sayuri's back, as though he wanted to help her up the fifty centimetres onto the wooden porch. Like seriously, she's had a baby and all, but that didn't mean she was brittle or anything. It was somehow sweet that he was so caring, but he was overdoing it from time to time.

That is why Sayuri merely gave him an amused look and climbed onto the porch by herself, showing off that she had enough flexibility left to lift her foot by half a metre.

"So, you're ready?" Naruto asked, looking far more excited about all this than they did. He even stood there right in the doorframe that was lacking a door to keep them from peeking inside just yet.

"Guess so…" Sayuri shrugged and started rocking her son, since he was starting to get a little jittery; understandable though, seeing as she had carried him around all day.

"Then – Ta-da! Welcome home!" Naruto laughed and took a step inside, while every single one of his words was like a needle, acupuncturing her at all the wrong places and now at the latest she knew that Sasuke had been right. Saying goodbye once really was hard enough and she didn't even know how to go on about it. Naruto seemed so happy to have them here and she couldn't get herself to pull out one of his needles and use it to burst his little bubble. Or maybe she just didn't want to burst her own just yet…

"So first we have the entrance hall."

They entered a room completely made of wood and there were all sorts of building materials standing around and she could see thick clouds of dust swirling in the pale sunrays that drifted through the boarded windows that were lacking a glass pane yet. There was a lot of dirt everywhere, dirt, dust and sand, but no trace of the painting Naruto had talked about, it seemed like he's been lazy.

"But it's also the living room, the kitchen, the office and the dining room." Naruto pointed at a small folding table with a single chair in front of it and both were covered with trowels and big brushes. "And if you push the furniture aside you also have a training-hall, just like in the old house."

Sayuri couldn't help smirking, while she rather felt like crying right now, but she didn't. Instead, she kissed her son and reached for Sasuke's hand again, reminding herself of what was really important and that was her family. If Sasuke approved of Tsunade's offer than she might see everyone again after all. There would be a goodbye today, but it didn't have to be final. If that was so good or not, was arguable – it all depended on the attendant circumstances.

"This way." He said, as though there was a possibility to get lost within this rather small and open room. He led the way to the wall opposing the entrance then. There were two doorframes with thick blankets hanging down from the top and Naruto then pushed the one on the left to the side and held it open for them, waiting for them to enter.

"This is the children's room." Naruto announced and watched the stunned faces of the soon-to-be house owners.

"That was all Naruto's doing." Suigetsu raised his arms defensively to assure them he's had no share in this eye-stinging effusion of colour. Her first assessment has been mistaken – Naruto had been anything but lazy…

"I didn't know if it's gonna be a boy or a girl so I thought I'll just paint the walls orange. Orange fits to everyone."

That was arguable. It didn't really look good on Naruto's (mind you) ninja attire and it certainly didn't look good on these walls in the intensity he had chosen. Sasuke couldn't help but squint his eyes to the glare of the walls. It was almost like looking straight into the late afternoon sun. His eyes were already bad, but if he'd stay here much longer, his retina would probably peel off and he wasn't even sure if he'd be sorry about it. Mikan would definitely be left with lasting damage in case he should spend more than five minutes within this room.

"Ehm… where's the ceiling?" Sayuri chose to ignore his choice of colour and mentioned the second oddity of this room that stood out.

"Ah… ceilings are totally overrated… How is he supposed to see the stars when there's a roof in the way?" Naruto crossed his arms behind his head and grinned at his team-mates.

"And he can already train his reflexes while dodging the presents the birds drop for him." Suigetsu sneered, before he glared back at Naruto.

Weird that the two of them have been here all alone, and then especially without having ripped off each other's heads yet.

"Anyway…" Naruto rolled his eyes and turned his back on Suigetsu again. "It's great isn't it? Let's go to the next room then."

Good that he didn't wait for them to answer; it would have been tough to act like the missing ceiling or the glaring orange walls were great, but it's the thought that counts, right? And all the thoughts Naruto had given to building up their home, pretty much made up for all that.

"So, c'mon now. The next one is the master bedroom, so yours." He grinned and walked out again and so did they then.

Back in the multipurpose room again, they all came to a halt though and stared at the stranger, standing in the middle of the room. He was about their age, probably, and pretty tall. His eyes and hair were pitch black and his skin was really pale – the contrast was even more extreme than it was with Sasuke and on a whole he looked a lot like him, although his hair was a bit shorter and he had a leaner physique. Even so they could be brothers – even their faces, their expressions – they had both mastered the blank look. Sayuri would even say this new guy, whoever he was, had surpassed Sasuke, since there was no trace of anger or anything hard in his features, whereas Sasuke's face contained these emotions far too often. Nevertheless, there was something about that guy that bothered her. Maybe it was something about the way he so bluntly stared at them, when they had no idea who he was and what he was doing here.

"Err… Sai…." Naruto murmured his name in a sort of greeting, although he didn't exactly seem enthusiastic about seeing the guy. "What are you doing here?"

"There's a dozen of your clones running through the village, talking about a party and I wondered if I was invited."

Even his voice sounded a lot like Sasuke's. Their resemblance was really creepy, but what was even creepier was the way his lips curved up in a weird sort of smile, looking almost like it was painted on his face and it was so obviously fake that Sayuri wondered if he was maybe a bit self-conscious about just showing up here, or maybe it had something to do with Naruto's uncommonly cold reception… He definitely seemed tense…

"Pfft." Naruto snorted, pressing his mouth firmly shut, before he'd end up letting out some not so nice things that would end up spoiling the mood. And so he just stood there with a grumpy face and glowered at the new guy, completely forgetting about his role as tour guide.

"Uhm… hi." Sayuri took over, as no one said or did anything for quite a while. "I'm Sayuri. Glad to meet you."

"Tze, now you're still glad…" Suigetsu groused and Naruto nodded grimly and Sayuri really didn't know what has gotten into them; he seemed kind of weird admittedly, but not altogether unlikable.

"And this is Sasuke." She added as it didn't seem like Sasuke would introduce himself; he had already adapted to the attitude of Suigetsu and Naruto and watched the unknown man, who could theoretically be his brother, with a guarded expression.

"My name is Sai." He nodded politely, still with that artificial smile on his face, which made him look really uncomfortable. Maybe he was shy… "So you are the ones whose gaps I'm filling. Interesting…"

That explained why he was here then. He was the new member of Team Kakashi. How quickly they had moved on without them. They were gone for a few months and they had already replaced them. It was natural though; a team had to consist of at least three members, but nevertheless it made her somewhat sad to think they were this easy to replace. Would it even make a difference if they never came back here? Would they even miss them? But well… it didn't really seem like this new guy was popular and maybe the reason for that was that he was taking their place, when they rather wanted them back. She hoped that's how it was and yet did not, because it would make the saying goodbye only harder.

"Doesn't look like it's a big gap I need to fill…"

"Huh?" Sayuri raised an eyebrow not so sure how he meant that, but from the way Naruto was growling it couldn't have been nice.

"I heard a lot about you." He smiled at them with his eyes closed, before he focused his attention on Sasuke. "You're the guy who betrayed the village, then came back again and betrayed it again and now you are back. Again. With how often you change your mind, are you sure you have any balls?"

A stunned silence followed his words that left everyone but the addressed person gaping. Sasuke's face was merely cold, his eyes narrowed in an intimidating manner and yet that Sai-guy didn't stop smiling.

"You want to repeat that?" Sasuke challenged him in a low voice, dripping with venom and he fully ignored the anxious looks Sayuri was giving him. He knew well enough that they weren't here for trouble, but that guy was literally begging for it.

"Oh, I didn't mean to be offensive. I was just curious if you're yet another dickless wimp like Naruto—"

"Sai! You bastard – take that back!" Naruto barked and was about to launch at him, but Suigetsu held him back.

"Watch your mouth! All of you." Sayuri rebuked them and held Mikan's still innocent ears shut, but Sai didn't seem to pay any attention to what was going on around him.

"But then you have a baby as proof – if it's really yours that is…"

"What?" Sayuri gasped, but cursed herself for doing so. Questioning the obvious was like adding fuel to the fire and the situation resembled a blaze already. If it weren't for Suigetsu, Naruto would have probably torn him to shreds already and Sasuke appeared calm and controlled on the outside, but she knew that on the inside he was seething. She had even sacrificed one of Mikan's ears to hold Sasuke by his upper arm, just in case he'd do something stupid after all – and that after he had only just gotten through the confrontation with Danzô…

"Well… you're pretty young and you already got knocked up. You can't have strong moral values…"

Once again it was eerily still in the room. Even Naruto had stopped struggling in Suigetsu's hold. No one seemed to do anything, not even Mikan, although he couldn't possible be aware of the tense situation – as though some supernatural being had pushed the pause button and they were nothing but a still picture now. That was only true on first sight though. A closer look told you that there was quite a lot going on, although it was rather hard to pinpoint just what. But Sayuri could see how Sai's eyes widened and for the first time there was an emotion on his face: fear. He looked afraid and in a matter of seconds he stumbled backwards and landed on the floor.

"Sasuke, stop it!" Sayuri pinched his arm tightly and turned around to him, seeing that her assumption had been right and he really was using his Sharingan.

"Hmpf." Sasuke snorted but deactivated his Doujutsu nevertheless. "If you ever insult a part of my family again, I won't let you get off so easily."

"Hmm…" Sai groaned and wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead, before he stared at his fingers incredulously. He seemed somewhat disoriented, but nevertheless he rose to his feet and met Sasuke's now again black eyes head on. "So this was the Sharingan… You have a quick temper. I'll keep that in mind for the future."

Once again his weird interpretation of a smile pulled the corners of his mouth up, as though nothing had happened.

"I think you have worn out your welcome." Sasuke said blankly and was at once supported by Naruto.

"Right! Bugger off, Sai!" The blonde pointed at the door, his face still heated with fury.

"I will." Sai said simply, not seeming to take offence at being thrown out like this or basically anything that happened here. "It was quite informative to meet you. So long." He smiled and raised his hand, but no one seemed inclined to even copy that small gesture.

They watched him leave without saying a single word and only as he was long gone already, was it that Naruto finally raised his voice. "Phew… he so had it coming. You should think that after all the beatings he took from Sakura-chan he learned his lesson, but well… obviously not." He sighed and shook his head. "I'm so glad that you're finally back and we get rid of him again."

"Uhm… about that…" Sayuri murmured feebly, barely getting herself to utter these next words, but then Naruto didn't give her a chance to.

"I'm sorry. This wasn't how I planned it. I actually meant to invite all our friends, so we can chat about what happened while you were gone and eat ramen from the new Ichiraku and then we'd show you your new house – finished and fully furnished, but well… I've never been good when it comes to planning things…" He lowered his head with a weak smile on his face. "I even meant to make some sort of playground for your baby…"

"… Naruto-kun…?" Sayuri addressed him tentatively, not liking the sad air around him at all. He really appeared downcast from one second to the next and she had no idea what to make of that, but she knew that she hated it to see him sad and then his mood was pretty contagious.

"Nah – nevermind. You're back and that's all that counts." He grinned widely and crossed his arms behind his head. "Then Sasuke can help me with the playground. Just imagine what the other kids will say when they see that? He'll have _dozens_ of friends! Your house will look like a playschool. By the way they already built up the academy again. It doesn't really concern you yet, but it will soon enough. I bet he's gonna be a great ninja – with you as parents and me as uncle-"

"-and don't forget about his godfather." Suigetsu cut in, when Naruto had deliberately omitted that term to not rekindle this argument again.

"We'll come back to that later…" The Uzumaki glowered at him from the corner of his eye, before he brought his attention back to his team-mates, his face lighting up at once. "Oh and guess what – we are neighbours now! Almost. I live two minutes away from here. Most of the others live pretty close by, too, so you shouldn't have any problems with finding a baby sitter."

"Wow… you really thought of everything…" Sayuri murmured, her voice a little shaky and so were her lips. It was so touching what he did for them, so how could she possibly tell him that it was all in vain? That all his efforts have been pointless, since they would abandon them in less than twenty four hours and maybe never come back. How was she even supposed to get herself to turn her back on them after they had so looked forward to have them back and done everything to facilitate their new life for them?

She wished they could leave already. It was getting harder and harder with every further second they stayed, since Naruto used every chance he could get to shower them with niceties they didn't deserve and couldn't even appreciate properly.

"Sure did!" He grinned proudly. "So where were we?"

"We don't have any more time." Sasuke interrupted and raised startled expressions on his opposite's faces, while Sayuri's muscles tensed in an instant.

So this was it now. The bubble would burst. And terrible as it was, she was nevertheless glad that she didn't have to do it herself. She couldn't have done it by herself…

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, and the way Sayuri was averting her eyes, left him with a somewhat sinking feeling. Something was definitely not right.

"Look who we've got here…" They all turned towards the door to see Shikamaru and Neji lean against the doorframe and behind them there was Lee, dressed in his characteristic green jumpsuit and his characteristic smile on his face.

"Finally you came! I've already shown them around. Where are the others?"

"Ask your bunshins." Shikamaru shrugged, before they all entered the house and started greeting and chatting to their friends and what choice did they have now, but to stay a little longer? And longer and longer as more and more people came, until there was no more room within the house and so they went outside, piling up some of the wooden beams as benches.

It was still winter and accordingly pretty chilly, but not yet cold and the early sunset coloured the sky a blend of red, yellow and indigo, almost like a tulip. They made a big bonfire from all the debris to warm themselves and Naruto sent one of his clones to buy something to eat for them. He actually paid for all eleven of them (Tenten, Hinata, Juugo and Choji had shown up now, too and actually Choji ate for three and Juugo wasn't content with only one portion either), and they knew that he was usually broke and actually pretty miserly, so it was just another nicety that gnawed at their conscience. Even Kakashi dropped by briefly to welcome them and have a look at their son, who was in the centre of attention all the time; even now that he had fallen asleep…

They swapped stories about what happened in the past months, ate together, laughed a lot. It felt really good to be among so many friendly people and they had already forgotten about the brief incident with Sai. It felt more at home, here, outside on the building materials, than it had in their flat in Suna. The general mood was really cheerful and the more often they assured them how glad they were to have them here or anything concerning the future, the harder it became for Sayuri to keep her smile where it was.

They should have told them from the start. This way it was not only harder for them, but it would also be much harder for their friends. It has been her own selfish decision to maintain this happy illusion, but it was slowly turning into a nightmare. By now it was almost unbearable really. It was getting dark already. They'd part ways soon and then they'd have to tell them that they haven't been honest and that they had never even considered staying here. They'd be disappointed then, at first. Afterwards they'd merely be angry, because all the things they had done for them were in vain and they could have rather spent their time doing something else, something for their own benefit…

Naruto was standing in the middle of their circle, so close to the fire that everyone just waited for his trouser legs to catch fire. Being the entertainer he was, he vividly and with much ado explained the reason why the children's room didn't have a ceiling, or no longer had a ceiling – Sayuri was too lost in thoughts to tell for sure.

She has been watching him and Hinata closely from the moment she had come here, trying to detect any peculiarities in their behaviour, anything that would tell her how Naruto had decided, but they were behaving completely normal. Hinata was sitting quietly on one of the makeshift benches, clandestinely watching her no longer so secret crush, while Naruto was busy entertaining everyone at once. She'd like to ask him about what he had told her, but not while Hinata was still around, that would be pretty mean… She'd have to wait until they were among themselves… If they would be among themselves again…

She was sitting next to Sasuke, who had their son sprawled out on his lap, fast asleep in spite of all the noise around him. She moved closer to him and slipped her arm through his, leaning her head against his shoulder. She kept her focus on the smouldering bonfire in front of them, studying every flicker of the flames and the way the smoke retreated in clouds into the starless night sky. Cold. Empty. Dark. Just the way she felt right now. She snuggled a little closer to Sasuke still…

He watched his girlfriend from the corner of his eyes, watched her cling close to him, when in some deep recess of her psyche she probably wanted nothing more than to spread her wings and fly away from him. She was sad already. Trapped. A bird denied the freedom of flight. She acted like it didn't matter to her and supported him and his decision, but if she had really reconciled herself to her imprisonment then how come she looked like she was on the verge of tears? Resigned people do not cry…

"Hey…" He whispered quietly and felt Sayuri stiffen by his side, but she wouldn't look at him and needed some time to prepare her response.

"… it's about time, huh?" Regardless of her efforts, she couldn't keep her voice from quivering with emotions and despite being outdoors, she felt like she was in a vacuum that kept all air from reaching her lungs. This was exactly what she had feared the whole time and now it was happening. She should probably feel glad to finally get this over with, but she didn't.

She took a deep breath of razor-edged air, trying to calm her racing heart and keep her protesting lungs from collapsing and focused her attention on Naruto again.

"…I don't know. I didn't have such problems with my house… Well, actually I only have a flat. I mean I don't need a whole house for myself – who would clean it then?" He sighed and scratched his head sheepishly. "But anyway, you'll need doors and windows still, and the bathroom is also missing, but once it's ready you can move in at once."

"Ehm…" Sayuri stammered, but Naruto interrupted her excitedly, all the time keeping them in the focus of his doe-eyed glance.

"Oh! And you can stay in my flat in the meantime. It's not really big, but it should be enough."

God, he was too much… Next he would hand them a dagger, which they could ram into his insanely huge heart and he'd do cartwheels around it to spare them the trouble of twisting it.

"W-we don't know about that yet…" The last syllables barely made it past the lump in her throat, but still she figured she had done a good job about concealing her sadness.

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, a hint of unease in his voice and now everyone was watching them, waiting for an explanation. All Sayuri could do though was lower her head and bite on her quivering lip. Sasuke would have to carry on now, because she wasn't able to press out another word. Especially without starting to cry, which she was almost doing already.

Sasuke, too, watched her fight a losing battle against the tears and sighed wearily. "If that's what you want then we'll stay."

"Huh?" Her head shot up, the tears she had so carefully kept in check falling like fire opals from her eyes, which were aglow with a flame of no internal origin.

She knew that he didn't want to live here. Knew all his reasons for not wanting it. Knew about his guilt… And as much as she wanted to stay here, she didn't want to do so at the expense of his happiness.

"I would never ask that of you." She whispered, shaking her head.

"You don't have to."

He had promised her after all.

* * *

The end.

* * *

_This is the end of Against all odds. Many thanks to everyone who read this story, faved, alerted or commented it. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it =)_

_I left enough loose ends so there might be a sequel. Let me know if anyone is interested._

_Thanks again!_


	50. Sequel

The sequel to _Against All Odds_ is finally up. It's called _A Perfect Circle_ and is set about four months after Sasuke and Sayuri return to Konoha. Again the main focus will lie on the two of them, but I'll also include a bit more about the other characters.

Thank you for your patience and to those who liked my other stories, I hope you will enjoy reading this one, too.


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